Podcast Summary: The Authentic Society
Episode: EP5: The Family Remix - What We Keep And What We Change
Release Date: December 9, 2024

Introduction

In Episode 5 of The Authentic Society titled "The Family Remix - What We Keep And What We Change," hosts Jamie and Maddie delve into the profound influences their parents have had on their lives. They explore both the positive and negative lessons inherited from their upbringing, discussing which traditions and values they carry forward into adulthood and which ones they choose to leave behind. The conversation is rich with personal anecdotes, insightful reflections, and actionable parenting advice, making it a compelling listen for anyone interested in understanding the lasting impact of family dynamics.

Influence of Parents on Adulthood

From the outset, Jamie and Maddie emphasize the significant role parents play in shaping one's core values and behavior patterns. Jamie introduces the episode by stating the focus on what they've retained or discarded from their parents' teachings.

• Jamie [00:03]: "Things we've learned from our parents, good and bad, what we've taken with us to adulthood and what we're leaving behind."

Maddie concurs, highlighting the often-unseen depth of parental influence, especially as one transitions into parenthood.

• Maddie [00:31]: "When you get into adulthood, I. Especially parenthood, you don't realize how much your parents have influenced your life."

Core Values Inherited from Parents

The discussion quickly moves to specific values imparted by their parents. Both hosts reflect on how these values have shaped their personalities and lifestyles.

• Jamie [02:12]: "My dad taught me that the ability to make people laugh is a really good thing. Quality to have."

Maddie adds, appreciating the legacy of kindness and empathy modeled by her mother.

• Maddie [04:05]: "She lets things just go. She's like, life's too short. Let it go."

Jamie references a Taylor Swift quote to underscore the importance of kindness.

• Jamie [03:05]: "Taylor Swift once said, being kind is a really good legacy to leave behind."

Traditions and Holiday Practices

Jamie and Maddie share their unique holiday traditions, contrasting their childhood experiences with their current practices as adults and parents.

Jamie’s Christmas Traditions:

• Pre-divorce, Jamie enjoyed large family gatherings with her paternal grandparents, describing the holidays as always being a six-person affair.

  • Jamie [09:08]: "It was always the six of us for every holiday because my mom's parents lived in Florida."

• Post-divorce, her Christmas celebrations became smaller, consisting of just her immediate family.

  • Jamie [11:58]: "On Christmas, I only see my mom and my sister and me and Dylan. So small."

Maddie’s Holiday Traditions:

• Maddie describes her family's approach to Christmas, including their participation in a 5K run and the free-for-all present opening tradition.

  • Maddie [12:01]: "So Caleb's family grew up, and he. Caleb's dad's a preacher or was a preacher. So they would get ready for the day before they ever touched presents."

• She shares her rendition of joy from holidays through her children's excitement, contrasting it with her less enthusiastic teenage years.

  • Maddie [14:12]: "Holidays become so fun again when you have kids."

Financial Management: Then and Now

A significant portion of the conversation addresses differing financial philosophies inherited from their parents and how Jamie and Maddie manage money in their households.

Jamie’s Perspective:

• Observes that her parents, despite not arguing about money, perhaps lacked cohesive financial strategies.

  • Jamie [15:11]: "I think not arguing about it and kind of being on the same page with money is really important."

Maddie’s Perspective:

• Contrasts her parents' quick-money schemes with her own emphasis on building wealth and financial stability.

  • Maddie [15:35]: "There's realizing that there is no get rich quick, you know, because there's not."

• Shares personal experiences of financial struggles and the lessons learned from their upbringing.

  • Maddie [20:18]: "We take very, like, before we have children. We are very mindful about it."

Religion and Faith

The hosts explore how their upbringing influenced their current religious and spiritual beliefs, highlighting the diversity in their family backgrounds.

Jamie’s Religious Background:

• Grew up Presbyterian with parents holding different beliefs, fostering an independent and open-minded approach to faith.

  • Jamie [30:23]: "I'm very spiritual, but I don't practice a lot of those fundamental values."

Maddie’s Religious Background:

• Raised in a plural marriage within a cult-like religious setting but has since adopted a devout faith independent of her upbringing.

  • Maddie [28:06]: "I was pretty much the rebel child."

• Emphasizes the importance of allowing her children to explore their own beliefs.

  • Maddie [34:06]: "I welcome questions of is this for me or does God exist or those kind of things."

Transition from Parent to Friend

A heartfelt segment discusses the delicate balance between maintaining a parental role and becoming a friend to one's children, drawing from personal experiences of Jamie and Maddie.

Jamie’s Experience:

• Shares how her parents' divorce during her teenage years forced her into an adult-like independence, blurring the lines between parent and friend.

  • Jamie [42:08]: "It was my mom and me. And my mom was going through a really painful divorce and trying to navigate that on her own."

• Concludes that being a friend too early can be detrimental, advocating for clear boundaries.

  • Jamie [42:35]: "I think 15 is way too young for your mom to become your friend."

Maddie’s Experience:

• Describes her role as the eldest child in a turbulent household, leading to a friendship-like relationship with her mother during her formative years.

  • Maddie [45:11]: "We acted differently."

• Emphasizes the importance of maintaining respect and boundaries even when transitioning to a more adult relationship.

  • Maddie [35:07]: "There's an easier way to be like, your hair looks like shit versus, like, hey, can I fix your hair for you real quick?"

Parenting Approaches: Encouraging Independence and Empathy

Jamie and Maddie discuss the parenting philosophies they are adopting, influenced by what they learned from their own parents.

Encouraging Independence:

• Both hosts value fostering independence in their children, ensuring they can think for themselves and make their own decisions.

  • Jamie [32:00]: "I make my own. I really do feel like I make my own choices."

Promoting Empathy and Kindness:

• Inspired by their mothers, they strive to instill empathy and kindness in their children.

  • Maddie [39:47]: "You have to be grateful for what you have, too."

• Address issues like comparison and self-worth, advocating for gratitude and recognizing each child's unique qualities.

  • Maddie [38:35]: "That's something that like Caleb and I talk about a lot."

Handling Criticism and Building Resilience

The hosts touch upon developing thick skin and handling external criticism, drawing from their personal experiences of public scrutiny.

• Jamie [37:00]: "If you can't change that in the next 15 seconds, keep it to yourself."

• Maddie [37:26]: "I think that after being in, like, at 15, being exposed to public like we were, and people are mean, they say stuff."

Both emphasize the importance of teaching children to focus on what they can control and not to internalize unnecessary criticism.

Conclusion

Jamie and Maddie wrap up the episode by encouraging listeners to reflect on their own familial influences. They prompt the audience to consider what traits to "take" or "leave" from their upbringing, fostering a community dialogue about personal growth and parenting.

• Jamie [48:33]: "I would love to know you guys in the comments what you brought from each of your parents and your childhood, good and bad."

• Maddie [48:44]: "What was your take it and what was your leave it?"

The episode concludes with a reaffirmation of their commitment to personal authenticity and the continuous process of evaluating and evolving their inherited values.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jamie [03:05]: "Taylor Swift once said, being kind is a really good legacy to leave behind."
• Maddie [28:06]: "I was pretty much the rebel child."
• Jamie [42:35]: "I think 15 is way too young for your mom to become your friend."
• Maddie [37:00]: "If you can't change that in the next 15 seconds, keep it to yourself."
• Jamie [48:33]: "I would love to know you guys in the comments what you brought from each of your parents and your childhood, good and bad."

Final Thoughts

Episode 5 of The Authentic Society offers a deeply personal exploration of how familial relationships and upbringing shape our adult lives. Through honest dialogue and reflective insights, Jamie and Maddie provide listeners with both relatable experiences and thoughtful advice on navigating the complexities of inherited values, traditions, and parenting. Whether you're reassessing your own family dynamics or seeking guidance on raising children with conscious values, this episode serves as a valuable resource for fostering an authentic and introspective societal outlook.