EP6: 2024 Vision - 24 Lessons That Came Into Focus

Summary

Summary of "EP6: 2024 Vision - 24 Lessons That Came Into Focus"

The Authentic Society's sixth episode, released on December 16, 2024, delves into a reflective discussion between hosts Maddie and Jamie as they explore 24 pivotal lessons learned throughout the year. This extended episode serves as both a personal recount and a universal guide, offering listeners valuable insights into personal growth, resilience, and the nuances of human relationships.

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1. Perspectives Are Not Truth

Maddie opens the conversation by emphasizing the distinction between perspective and absolute truth. She asserts, “Perspectives are not truth. They are just your interpretation of the experience or what happened” (00:12), highlighting the subjective nature of individual experiences.

Jamie concurs, reflecting on a past encounter with a boss who insisted, “perception is reality,” to which she counters, “But it's not. It’s your reality, but that doesn’t mean it's the reality” (01:24). This discussion underscores the importance of recognizing that different viewpoints do not necessarily align with objective facts.

2. It’s Okay for Life to Just Suck Sometimes

Jamie introduces a pivotal lesson about accepting that not all hardships come with a silver lining. She shares, “Sometimes bad things happen. And that is just okay” (03:09). Maddie adds, reinforcing the idea that hardships are universal and do not discriminate based on individual circumstances (03:30).

This section delves into the concept of resilience, emphasizing the need to process and accept negative emotions without forcing a positive spin when it isn't warranted.

3. If You Don't Have a Bedtime Routine, You Should Get One

Maddie highlights the significance of having a structured bedtime routine for both herself and her children. She details their nightly practices, including reading, praying, and expressing gratitude (15:42). This routine not only fosters family bonding but also aids in emotional decompression after a long day.

Jamie echoes the importance, noting, “I have one” (18:12), and discusses how consistent routines contribute to better sleep quality and mental well-being.

4. It’s Okay to Be Wrong and Not Know

Acknowledging society's obsession with being right, Jamie shares her struggle with perfectionism and the anxiety it brings. She states, “Being wrong's not the biggest deal in the world” (19:13), advocating for humility and the acceptance of mistakes as natural aspects of growth.

Maddie expands on this by emphasizing the importance of admitting when you don’t know something, especially in critical fields like medicine, where professionals demonstrate true humility by acknowledging their limits (21:00).

5. Don't Feel Bad About Your Feelings

Maddie discusses the societal tendency to invalidate personal emotions, such as feeling happy or angry, by apologizing for them (27:26). Jamie supports this by emphasizing the importance of owning one's feelings without guilt, stating, “Is so important for confidence as well” (27:51).

This lesson advocates for emotional authenticity and the acceptance that each individual's emotional journey is unique.

6. Everything Can Be Taken Away from You

Jamie shares a harrowing experience witnessing the aftermath of Hurricane Helene in western North Carolina, illustrating how natural disasters can obliterate property and lives in moments (30:43). This lesson serves as a stark reminder of life's fragility and the unpredictability of circumstances.

Maddie adds, “They literally got washed into the river” (32:40), emphasizing the irreversible loss and the importance of cherishing what one has.

7. Feelings Are Visitors; Let Them Come and Go

Maddie introduces a metaphorical approach to emotions, describing feelings as temporary visitors that can be acknowledged and then let pass (34:18). This perspective encourages mindfulness and emotional regulation, helping individuals navigate their emotional landscapes without becoming overwhelmed.

Jamie relates this to her personal struggle with seasonal depression, advocating for acceptance and seeking professional help when necessary (37:32).

8. Sometimes a No Is Your Best Yes

In response to burnout, Maddie discusses the empowering act of saying no, even when it's challenging. She reflects, “No is a full sentence” (43:38), advocating for prioritizing personal well-being over external obligations.

Jamie echoes this sentiment, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries to maintain mental health and personal fulfillment (43:53).

9. Get the Tattoo, Take the Trip, Buy Yourself Flowers

Jamie encourages embracing life's fleeting moments by indulging in small joys and personal expressions. She shares her experiences with spontaneous decisions like getting a tattoo or wearing an outfit that makes her feel alive, stating, “Life’s too short to overthink those things” (44:14).

Maddie agrees, highlighting the balance between dreaming big and cherishing the small, everyday pleasures that contribute to lasting happiness (40:49).

10. Listen More, Talk Less

Maddie emphasizes the importance of genuine listening over the societal norm of listening to respond. She notes, “We listen to respond. We don’t listen to listen” (46:47), advocating for deeper, more empathetic communication.

Jamie supports this by acknowledging how easy it is to become distracted during conversations, urging a focus on understanding rather than merely waiting for one's turn to speak (47:40).

11. Friendships Are Better as Quality, Not Quantities

Both hosts concur that cultivating meaningful relationships outweighs maintaining numerous superficial connections. Maddie and Jamie discuss the value of having a few trusted friends over a large network, highlighting how quality friendships provide more significant emotional support and fulfillment (53:39; 54:02).

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Conclusion

In this reflective episode, Maddie and Jamie traverse a spectrum of personal and universal lessons learned in 2024. From embracing emotional authenticity and resilience to prioritizing meaningful relationships and personal well-being, their conversations offer actionable insights for listeners seeking personal growth and a deeper understanding of life's complexities. Notably, the integration of personal anecdotes and shared experiences enriches the discussion, making it both relatable and inspiring.

Listeners are encouraged to introspect on these lessons, applying them to their own lives to foster a more authentic and fulfilling existence. As the episode wraps up, the hosts invite their audience to share their own learnings, fostering a community of shared growth and understanding.

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Notable Quotes:

• Maddie: “Perspectives are not truth. They are just your interpretation of the experience or what happened.” (00:12)

• Jamie: “Sometimes bad things happen. And that is just okay.” (03:09)

• Maddie: “No is a full sentence.” (43:38)

• Jamie: “Life’s too short to overthink those things.” (44:14)

• Maddie: “We listen to respond. We don’t listen to listen.” (46:47)

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For more insights and discussions, tune into The Authentic Society podcast and follow their channel on YouTube.

Transcript

[Maddie]

Welcome back to the Authentic Society. I'm one of your hosts, Maddie.

[Jamie]

And I'm Jamie.

[Maddie]

Okay, so this is going to be a longer episode because we're going to be taking a break for the holidays, and we will see you in the new year.

[Jamie]

Yes.

[Maddie]

And today we are going to do 24 things that we learned in 2024. But we're going to do it a little different. We're going to do. Each of us do 12 things.

[Jamie]

Yes. So total 24. And kind of converse on the different things we've learned in 2024. I think this is so important to do every year. Write it down. I started to always write my things down.

[Maddie]

Really?

[Jamie]

Yeah. And I have. I think I. I was just looking the other day of what I learned. I think I was 20 or 20. One of the things I learned in that year. And it's interesting to see the change, the evolution. And it's also interesting to see that some of the things I learn every year relearn. And I'm like, oh, I. I feel like I learned that again and again.

[Maddie]

You need some, like a. You need another lesson in it, Another class, a refresher course.

[Jamie]

Yeah. All right, so what's your first thing that you've learned in 2024?

[Maddie]

So this is a repeat. Just because I feel like I even learn it more and more the older I get. And that is. Perspectives are not truth. They are just your interpretation of the experience or what happened.

[Jamie]

That's a good one. I had a boss one time tell me that perception is reality. And I was like, actually, but it's not. But it's. But it's not. It's your reality, but it doesn't mean it's the reality.

[Maddie]

There's two perspectives, and then there's the truth. Have you ever heard that? Like, yeah, there's the perspectives, and then there's what actually happened.

[Jamie]

That's a good one, though. I think that I can take a lot for that, too, because sometimes when you are with another person and their perception is so different, you have to remind yourself that that's okay. But that doesn't mean it's the truth.

[Maddie]

Yeah. And it doesn't have to be the reality of your life.

[Jamie]

Yeah, that's a good one. What's yours? My first one. It's okay if lemons are just sour and you can't make lemonade out of them. Sometimes things happen, sometimes you lose, and sometimes it just sucks. I think for me, learning that the everything happens for a reason kind of trope is sometimes that true. But ultimately, sometimes bad things just happen and it sucks. And learning that it's okay for life to give you lemons and them just to suck and to go through that.

[Maddie]

Caleb always says it is what it is sometimes and it just sucks.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

Like, there's no bright side sometimes. Or like, oh, that hardship was really warranted and needed. It's just.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

Sometimes it's just crap.

[Jamie]

Yeah. I think I learned that a lot this year. Is that sometimes shitty things happen. And that is just. That is okay.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

And you though how you grieve that or move through it isn't. I think it's easier to, like, just accept this was a bad thing that's happened. I'm okay. I'm allowed to be angry or sad about it instead of trying to look at the positive through it, because there is no positive.

[Maddie]

I also think sometimes how you. So when bad things happen to people, that sometimes are just bad things. Like, sometimes there's sucky things and how you go about it. And instead of being like, oh, this always happens to me, or this is just my luck, or also says a lot too.

[Jamie]

Mm.

[Maddie]

Because bad things happen to everybody.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Until you bounce back from them and keep moving.

[Maddie]

Yeah. All right. Too. I said, just because you have hardship or hurt doesn't make you exempt from more.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Maddie]

And I think everybody thinks that, especially, like, after Garrison died, so many people were like, your year's going to be a lot better. You deserve a good year. After, like, Garrison's passing. Nothing. Like, you've gotten all the bad out of the way. And it's like, we still had a lot. I mean, nothing compared to Garrison's death. So maybe it was better than that. But it's like, we still had a lot of crappy things happen. Wow.

[Jamie]

I never looked at it that way, though. You know, I. I'm. I'm prone to do that in my head where I'm like, I've had a bad couple days, so I'm. I'm opted to have a good one.

[Maddie]

You know, And I think there's like a. There is like, okay, I've had enough bad that I want good. And it's not bad to say that. Or it's not. Like, I just like, well, this always happens to me, or this is just my luck. But I think when you go into, like, okay, well, all my bad stuff's out of the way now. It's like, what happens? Like, do you have resiliency when there is bad things happening after that?

[Jamie]

Well, and it's also, you know, when people Are like, I don't deserve this. And it's like, no, you don't deserve this. But that doesn't mean it doesn't happen to people, because I think I get caught in that too. Like, I don't deserve this. Why does this keep happening to me? Instead of saying, you know, no, I don't. That's true. I don't deserve this. But it's happened. It. Bad things are going to happen sometimes. And again, kind of into, you know, how you work through it.

[Maddie]

One, I think that just because. So if something bad has happened, it doesn't make it so that nothing bad will happen the rest of the year.

[Jamie]

That's a good one. Yeah, I really like that one.

[Maddie]

It's kind of a downer, but it's the truth.

[Jamie]

It's good to put stuff like that, I think, in perspective. Right. We all have to do that and have to say, I. Shitty things are just going to happen, you know?

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

This one is you're going to giggle at. I'm sure a lot of people do. But I really learned it this year and I feel like I keep learning it.

[Maddie]

It.

[Jamie]

If it makes you happy, then you don't need to explain it to people. If it's collecting ornaments, watching reality TV or like, loving Taylor Swift, whether it's cringy or corny, if it makes you happy, let it. Um, I don't have to explain the little things in life that make me happy. I think as a society, we are so quick to jump on people and be like, that's so silly, or, that's so stupid, or, why are you doing that? What's the point? Shaming and social media has really done that for us. Or, you know, people saying, why is she starting a podcast? Or she has nothing to say. It's like, if it makes me happy and fulfilled, I'm allowed to do it as long as it's not hurting other people and you don't have to understand it.

[Maddie]

Do you get a lot of crap for liking Taylor Swift?

[Jamie]

Of course.

[Maddie]

You're so funny because so many. I feel like that is like, it's like Nickelback. Like, so many people got crap for liking Nickelback, but it's like, so many people like Nickelback. Not as much as Taylor Swift, but that's why it's so funny. People, like, rag on her and I'm like, she's got, like, a massive following, so clearly it's not just one person liking her.

[Jamie]

Right. Well, and it's. Being a Taylor Swift fan is more of, like, a community and There are very, like, hardcore people in it.

[Maddie]

Yeah, there's hardcore people in every sort of fandom.

[Jamie]

Right. And so I think people. I don't know, I just. It's like, lame or a loser. Because I get excited about Taylor Swift things and it's like, you know, I'm the type of person, the older I get, I want to hold on to, like, little things that make me happy and that make me feel like.

[Maddie]

Your ornaments.

[Jamie]

Yeah, you know, I collect corgi ornaments.

[Maddie]

One of them's missing a tat.

[Jamie]

Oh, yeah. On the thing. Yeah, I got that discounted. But it's like, if it makes you happy and it's weird to other people, who cares?

[Maddie]

Mine is, if it's not true, don't dwell on it. It's like I always tell you because you're like, well, people say this, and I'm like, is it true? It's like, who cares?

[Jamie]

That's interesting. It is. I. I mean, and that's. This is all new to me. This is not new to you, people commenting on your life.

[Maddie]

But I think the. The react. The check again was good because it was like, people always have something to say and, like, about your. There's always. Everybody has an opinion about everything, and I am one of those people that also has an opinion. But it's like, if it's not true, what does it matter? Don't dwell on it. And if it's not true about you or if it's not true about, like, a. Like, if somebody's saying something that's not true, it's like, about you, it's like, okay, don't dwell on it because it's not true. I think there's a point to take constructive criticism, but if somebody's on a smear campaign, it's like, right, well.

[Jamie]

And then there's all perspective. You know what I mean? Somebody can call my outfit ugly. It might be ugly to you, but it's not ugly to me. So I'm just. You know what I mean? It's. Yeah, I think that's good. Like, don't worry about it if it's not true.

[Maddie]

Yeah. I feel like we get wrapped up in what everybody says about everything as a society as a whole, or every new, little new, like, breaking new story that is oftentimes just coming out. And it's like, Stresses you out. It's like.

[Jamie]

Or it's fabric. A lot of things are fabricated, especially on social media, to make it more juicy. And so. Yeah. And I think we all live in our own truths, and so if it's not true to me, it could be true to somebody else. But if it's not true to me, I don't need to stress about it. Yeah, that's a good one.

[Maddie]

I learned that a lot this year.

[Jamie]

I mine one. My third one is remove the mindset and the people who make you feel less than. It's not about the bank account, the degree, the accolades. If something or someone makes you feel less than, remove it and the mindset.

[Maddie]

That's a good one.

[Jamie]

I am over ever feeling like I am not enough or I'm too much for people. We. I think you know what I mean? I've really struggled with both. Is not feeling smart enough or not feeling worthy enough.

[Maddie]

Like, comparison.

[Jamie]

Yeah. And I hate when people, whether it's in my career or, like, my personal life, make me feel less than. Like I'm not smart enough or I don't, you know, deserve it enough.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

And to me, anything that makes me feel that way or anybody, I just don't need it in my life.

[Maddie]

I think that's good. I think we. The comparison. Like, that goes back to the comparison episode we did.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

Too. I see it a lot in, like, the way people talk about your decisions. Like, if I tell them we're doing something, they're like, oh, that's what you're going to do? Mm, okay. You do that. It's like not caring there.

[Jamie]

Yeah. No. And that comes back to a lot of people just having opinions on everything, even when they're not warranted or not needed. You know, not everybody has to have an opinion on your life.

[Maddie]

Do you think everybody has an opinion because of the society we're in, or everybody feels invalidated so they want to express their opinion so that they can be valid or a part of it?

[Jamie]

I think it's both. I think we've created a society with social media that everybody feels like, I can share my opinion and it's the right opinion, and I can do it behind a screen where nobody knows. And the people like that are also trying to do it because they feel invalidated in their own life.

[Maddie]

So it's interesting because a lot of reality tv, like the Bachelor is really popular, but that whole. That whole series is you're voting like American Idol or Dancing with the Stars. You're voting for who you want to be the winner.

[Jamie]

I can't imagine the mind game it plays on people, you know, like Dancing with the Star or whoever. It's like you're voting to be the most liked and you work your butt off especially like Dancing with the Stars. And these are like professional dancers have danced their whole entire career and they're usually getting voted off of, you know, the famous person they're paired up with.

[Maddie]

Or like they're getting critiqued by people who probably can't dance. Like they can.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

And singers like, oh, that wasn't that good. It's like, can. But so it's like the. Our whole, like there's such a part of our society that is valuing the oversharing of opinions. There's reality show. Reality TV shows about it or like competition shows about it. Yelp. That was the whole reason it was created. You know, we do it.

[Jamie]

I mean, we get on this podcast every day and like share your comments and thoughts. Like, you know, we open ourselves up to that. And so as a society, it's just like the new normal.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

To share an opinion.

[Maddie]

I think it's a good thing. I think it's also like it's a double edged sword. I think it's a good thing and it can be a bad thing when people feel that their opinion is the opinion.

[Jamie]

Mm. And they are. They get so wrapped up in sharing an opinion that's negative because they're just in a. They're in a life that's negative and it comes with jealousy or stuff like that. I do think people share. Yeah, I do think people share a lot of negative opinions online because of the unfulfillment in their life.

[Maddie]

Negative also goes further. That's why there's like rage bait.

[Jamie]

Well, and that's the thing is we always. And that's why I try to comment back to as many people in the comments that are positive because those are ma. That's what really matters. But then you get stuck on a negative one and it's like, I could have five positive comments and get stuck on that one negative one. And that's. I'm done doing that. Because it's like the, that per. That one negative comments not going to make me feel less than.

[Maddie]

Well, and there's like. Well, you said you can have hundreds of good comments in the one negative one.

[Jamie]

I know. And why do we do that? We all do it.

[Maddie]

It's like it's primal. I think it's that primal thing like we were talking about where we're. We're. We are programmed to be a part of a clan or a tribe and if we have negative aspects and we can become the outcast, then we're in trouble because we survive on each other.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

All right. Four. So I said, four. Bedtime routines are a must, and if you don't have one, you should get one. And one that is one that can travel with you because there's something about. So my kids have a bedtime routine, and I see a big difference when we're not doing their routine versus when we are. I have a bedtime routine, but it's like, when you're not doing it, it's really hard to decompress from the day. Especially after a long day. It's like, okay, I know. I'm going to go wash my face.

[Jamie]

So what is your bedtime routine?

[Maddie]

Well, I do the kids. The kids bedtime routine first. And that's usually we sit down with them and we read, we pray, and then they say their favorite part of the day is, or, like, what they're most grateful for for the day. And then we ask them if they have any questions that they want to ask us, any important questions or anything that they want to tell us. That leaves it. So my family used to do highs and lows, and I really like that. But it also. They always. Everybody can pick out what sucked about the day. So if you leave it with what was good, and then you ask them if they have anything they want to tell you, if there's something that was horrible that really sucked, they can tell you. Or if they have a question that is like, that they've been thinking about, then they can tell you. Usually Axel's like, it's his confessional. I don't know how it turned into that, but he'll be like, I got a dojo down at school today. Which is like, you got a bad point or mark or something that's like, that's when he'll tell us. And I'm like, okay, thank you for telling us.

[Jamie]

I love a confessional, Dylan. We need to start doing that where it's like, we sit in bed at night. It's like, what's your confessional for the day?

[Maddie]

Tell us. I don't know how it turned into that, but, like, it's not always that. But that's usually when he tells us. But a friend of mine who's a child psychologist said that leaving open conversation at night gives them also the comfortability to, like, come with you to big questions.

[Jamie]

Probably also relieve some of their little anxiety. Yeah, like, I got.

[Maddie]

I got.

[Jamie]

I got it off my chest, so now I can go to sleep and I don't have to think about it.

[Maddie]

Yeah, when he told us, like, when he tells us something, like, usually Caleb and I'LL chuckle because he says it just like that. Like, I got a dojo down today. Like, okay, what would you do? He'll tell us. I'm like, okay, are you going to do it tomorrow? He's like, no. I'm like, all right. Do you feel better?

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

You know, and then my bedtime routine is like my skincare, so washing my face, brushing my teeth, and then, like, doing my hair, however I'm going to do it for the night if I have, like, my wrap or whatever. And then gratitude.

[Jamie]

Do you. Is. Do you and Caleb sit down in the bed at night and do it to. With each other, or do you kind of, like, mentally do it?

[Maddie]

Sometimes I write it, but, like, I always think about what. What I'm grateful for for that day. And then it makes a big difference. And then Caleb and I will talk about it too. Sometimes. Caleb and I'll read together, too. Book or whatever.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Porn at nighttime routine. You got it. I have one.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Yeah, you gotta have one. I don't sleep as well.

[Maddie]

That's why it says, like, a decompression. I didn't have one for a long time and my kids kind of had one. But, like, we, like. It's our. It's our religion almost now we do it. It is everywhere we go. Every. Even if we have family in town, whatever. We do their nighttime routine and my nighttime routine and it's like, okay. It's like when you're doing it, it's like, okay, I'm decompressing for the day. I'm getting ready, you know, to relax. Yeah. I sleep better, like you said.

[Jamie]

Yeah. That is important. I. I definitely notice when I don't do my nighttime routine, my number four. And this is for me personally, but some of people could probably take this. It's okay to be wrong.

[Maddie]

Oh, that's one of mine. Is it? It is.

[Jamie]

Yeah. This is a. This is a big one for me.

[Maddie]

Really?

[Jamie]

Yeah. And, you know, I think other people. I think we're so caught up in a society that wants to just be right, and instead of saying, being wrong's not the biggest deal in the world, we. I'm probably wrong all the time, you know, and that's okay. I don't need to let myself beat myself up because I do, you know, I get anxiety about, oh, my God, I was wrong. I did this wrong. I shouldn't.

[Maddie]

Everybody's wrong.

[Jamie]

I shouldn't have done that. And instead of just saying, okay, I was wrong. My bad, won't happen again. Mental note and move on, you know, especially when I was younger and in my, like, early 20s and stuff, when me and Dylan would get in fights, I thought, if I'm not right, if I don't win this fight, like, it is over. And that causes a lot of pressure to always be right. Who wants that pressure?

[Maddie]

Do you think that that is some. Like, how when you are wrong, do you tell, like, the person that you were with or whatever?

[Jamie]

I try to. I have to get better at it. I think it's important to. To say, I was wrong. I'm sorry. I think life for yourself, you know, we talk so much about forgiveness and how you should forgive people for yourself. I also think you should say I'm sorry when you're wrong for yourself. Because I think when you don't apologize when it's warranted or admit when you're wrong, I think that can weigh us down.

[Maddie]

Yeah, I think so too.

[Jamie]

That's so funny.

[Maddie]

That is funny.

[Jamie]

Yeah. I think it's a good lesson to learn.

[Maddie]

I had a little bit different, but we can get to it.

[Jamie]

What was yours?

[Maddie]

It's okay to be wrong and also not know. I feel like a lot of people continue to, like, if you're talking to them, they continue to go down something and they don't know. Instead of saying, I don't know about that. Oh, I'm. I'm not sure about that. I'd have to look more into it or, you know, that kind of thing.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

Especially in, like, today's world with politics, you know, everybody's like, no, no, this and this and this. And I'm like. And just saying, like, I don't know. I haven't looked into that. I wouldn't know.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

You know, it's like. But nobody does it.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

Or says, I'm wrong, too.

[Jamie]

No, they'll. People will stand 10 toes on something that is not accurate because they believe it.

[Maddie]

It backs up their perspective, which goes.

[Jamie]

Into perspective is not reality.

[Maddie]

Yeah. Yeah, But I said when, like, I think when people are wrong, they really struggle to, hey, I'm sorry, I was wrong. That's something that I struggle with it.

[Jamie]

Really, to get better at it. I don't think I struggle with it nearly as much as I used to. I think I'm. When I love somebody, I'm like, it's important because I know how as important it is for me to hear when somebody's wrong and say sorry. So I'm. I think I've gotten a lot better that, like, I'm sorry I was. I was wrong or you know, I'm. I don't. I really try not to do I'm sorry. But, yeah, I really try to say I'm sorry. My bad.

[Maddie]

I struggle when I'm having a conversation with somebody and I realize that I've given them wrong information, and I'll, like, text them and be like, hey, I was wrong, actually, about this, I think, because I don't want somebody to make decisions based on knowledge that they heard from me that is incorrect. You know, I think you struggle with.

[Jamie]

That because you're a recovering perfectionist, though.

[Maddie]

Well, I also think, too, I read a lot, and so a lot of my family, when I say something, they're like, oh, Maddie, probably read it about it. And I'm so. I have to be careful about that. The other thing is, is I love when a doctor says it. Like when I'm talking to a doctor, and if they have the humility enough to say, I don't know, or, oh, I'm sorry, I was wrong about this. I'm like, you're a real human being. You care about your patients. You care enough to look into it. If a doctor can't say, like, oh, I don't know.

[Jamie]

I'm like, okay, yeah, my doctor's really good at that. Being like, I don't know. Let me check.

[Maddie]

Let me look into it for you. Yeah, that was one of the things that I. Why I go to the pediatrician. I go to. And when I was. When Axel was in speech therapy that I loved, our speech therapist, I'd ask her a question, she'd be like, I don't know. Let me ask some of my colleagues, like, let me look into it. I'm like, wow. Because it takes humility, especially in the medical field, to say, I don't know.

[Jamie]

Yeah, I never really thought of it that way. We're all wrong. So it's okay.

[Maddie]

Well, they're human beings. They're doctors. They're going to make mistakes.

[Jamie]

Well, and medicine's always changing, too.

[Maddie]

It's always changing. So, yeah, So I love when a doctor can say like, oh, I don't know, let me look into that. Or, oh, I'm like, they'll be like, I think it's this. Let me go look. And then they'll usually leave the room and then come back and be like, I was wrong. Actually, it's this.

[Jamie]

Yeah, this goes into it. Being right doesn't always bring you peace. And I think that goes into, it's okay to be wrong. And I think a lot more people really struggle, and I Think that our, our society really struggles when we get so divided that being right is going to bring you like peace and joy and stuff. But for me it's like, at what cost?

[Maddie]

So I was talking about this with my brothers at Thanksgiving and we were talking about how nobody, how uncomfortable it is to be wrong or to have your, what you build your life on your ideologies questioned. And so people go really hard to bat instead of welcoming, huh? I've never thought about it that way. Let me look into it. Like abstract thought. People like to be in their comfort zones.

[Jamie]

Yeah. I think people like to put ourselves in boxes. The wrong people, the right people. I'm right today, you're wrong. That makes me feel good, that makes me feel validated. And you know, to say all that, it's like, who cares? I get to the point where it's like, who cares? Right or wrong? You're gonna think you're right, I'm gonna think I'm right. And sometimes that's not really neither of us are right.

[Maddie]

So when you think you're right and you have a conversation with somebody, can you expect, accept their point of view or do you like, hey, I've never thought that perspective.

[Jamie]

I think I can do both. I'm the type of person that I, when I get into conversations, I realize that a lot of times you're not going to change that person's mind. So it's okay to listen to them in their viewpoint and that's okay. They probably think they're right and that's okay. You know, I think it goes into, you know, religion and stuff too. It's like a lot of people believe their religion so wholeheartedly and who is for me to tell them they're wrong, you know, and so I just think that differences in this world are, is really what makes the world go round. And I think people, especially this year have been. And people get like this so much on political years and stuff. It's like who's right and who's wrong.

[Maddie]

Yeah, I also feel like it's so hard when somebody won't listen and they always have to be right. It's really hard to be around them but also like have conversations with them because it's like reflect a little bit, you know, have some self reflection. Think about this like from my perspective and decision making. I have family that lives completely different lives than I do, like in big cities and stuff like that. So their decisions and their culture is going to be very different. But then they come and so, you know, this is the right way.

[Jamie]

Well, and I think the people that always think they're right, you know, and always have to be right, I don't think they live with true peace.

[Maddie]

Interesting.

[Jamie]

I think they fight. They're insecure or fighting an internal battle, so they have to fight it out loud about something completely different.

[Maddie]

Okay. I said, don't feel bad about your feelings. I feel like we always say, I'm sorry, but I feel this way, or I feel bad that I. I'm happy and they're sad, or I feel bad that I'm going through hardship and they're not. So that was something that I learned.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Yeah. I think owning your feelings and not Apollo. Being unapologetic for who you are and where you're at.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Is so important for confidence as well. And being, you know, this is who I am. And for better or for worse, I think accepting that.

[Maddie]

Yeah. And going through stages of life differently than people do and, like, being okay that they're in this place and I'm in this place. You know, I sat in a lot of anger at the first year and, like, for a little while. And I remember being frustrated that my siblings weren't, like, being, like, sad that they weren't as angry as I was. And it was like. And then I would, like, apologize. I'm like, I'm sorry I'm so angry. Or. And then when I kind of came out of anger, recognizing. Because we all. Everybody grieves differently. And I think that there was a lot that happened for my family this year. And so I think letting people have. Also. So recognizing that what I'm feeling and not feeling bad for it, but also recognizing, like, you could be feeling different about a situation at a different time, and that's okay.

[Jamie]

We're all on different journeys. No. Nobody lives the exact same life, you know?

[Maddie]

Yeah. And nobody feels it the same way. I hate the words. Most invalidating thing you'll ever hear is like, I know how you feel. Even if you've experienced similar situations. I hate that I'm like, but you're not me.

[Jamie]

Or when someone tries to make you feel better. Well, at least. And sometimes you just goes back to the lemons things. Sometimes nothing you say will make me feel better. I'm okay with feeling this way right now.

[Maddie]

I remember a lot of people said, like, oh, this is part of God's plan. And I'm like, I don't want to hear that right now. Like, nobody wants to hear, like, you know, garrison's in a better place. It's like, yeah, it sucks he's dead. Like, that's the end of the thing.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

Or, like, hardships that we went through as kids, it's like. Well, like, it gave you the. And that I did. Give me the life I have now, and I'm grateful for it, but, like, it still doesn't mean it didn't suck. And I'm not. I'm not allowed to be angry at it.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Or sad.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Or, you know, and when you do move on and stuff like that, you shouldn't feel guilt for being happy.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

You know.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

You shouldn't ever feel guilty for any of your emotions.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Because they're human.

[Maddie]

Mm.

[Jamie]

And that's okay. Yeah. That's. That's a good one. I. My sixth one was everything can be taken away from you as big or as little as, like, property. You know, when I went up to visit the western part of the state in North Carolina, it was.

[Maddie]

Because your family's from there.

[Jamie]

Yes. So my. My grandparents are from western North Carolina. Small town.

[Maddie]

Hallelujah.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Hurricane Helene hit, and my dad lives up there with my stepmom and little brother. And really, it's a second home to me because my grandparents were both teachers, so me and my sister would go up there and spend the whole summers with them. So it's really a second home. And I just got to go up there to see after nine weeks of Hurricane Helene. And it was really crazy to me to think that, you know, you put all this money into property, and then the property's completely gone. So let's say you have three acres of land, and it got completely washed away and, you know, collapsed because you were near one of the. The rivers. That land is completely gone, so you don't own it anymore. It is with nature again. And to me, that's so crazy, because you can. That mean you. It truly opened my eyes that we can lose everything. The people that lost their houses, their land, all their stuff, like, that is nothing is.

[Maddie]

What does it look like?

[Jamie]

It's like a World War country. Like a different country, a third world country.

[Maddie]

Someone. I have a friend who's also from there, and they said it looked like a bomb went off.

[Jamie]

Yeah. So I went. My dad drove me to, like, the worst parts of the county there in Yancey county, and it was one of the counties that was hit with deaths the most. The town looks fine, and then it's. Till you go off, like, a. A different road. I share some of it on my Instagram story, but it was. And I went over Thanksgiving and It really was, you know, eye opening. That truly, I don't think we realize as humans that everything we have can be taken from us. As little as land. You know, this is like, they literally.

[Maddie]

Got washed into the river.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

And it's a riverbed now.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

That's so crazy.

[Jamie]

It was so crazy to see that there are trees that look like the top of them had been taken off with a chainsaw because the wind just took the heads off trees. Because the wind was so bad. Yeah. So it was like, when it was rot water, it was mudslides. It was like little mini tornadoes. It was like all of these things in 124 hours. And people up there don't. Aren't prepared for that. They don't have flood insurance.

[Maddie]

A lot of people ask me, they're like, don't you get hurricanes regularly? I'm like, we are built for hurricanes. Everything that is in eastern North Carolina is built for hurricanes. The western side of the state is not. And it's in. It's in mountains. So the goalies just become like, you got rain hitting, and it's just going down the mountain, and it's just gaining momentum, picking up more water, and it just turns into a giant flood. And they don't know that it's happening. They're getting minutes warning.

[Jamie]

No. And thank God, a lot of the mudslides and stuff happened during the day because people would have been. There would have been a lot more, like, casualties. Like, a lot of more people would have been dead because they didn't. They wouldn't have saw it coming. You know, a lot of this stuff happened during the day and daylight, so people were watching and being able to see, but where the water rises, and that's how they were able to get evacuated. But if it was during the night and you're just sleeping and then your home comes full of mud and water.

[Maddie]

And then there's no. Literally washed away.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

All right. My number seven is feelings are visitors. Let them come and go. You don't have to, like, stay in them. That kind of, like, it's not bad to feel your feelings, but also understand that feelings are visitors. Because I feel like I grew up in a way that, like, you didn't, like. Like, you didn't feel your feelings. You didn't express your feelings. And that's probably where they were bad, too. So it's like, you can be angry, you can be sad, but, like, you don't have to stay there.

[Jamie]

Do you think that was the generation before us? Because I felt also that I couldn't grow up and express my true feelings.

[Maddie]

I think it is also our generation because nobody wants to be sad. And so. So when you have a really good weekend with your family or friends or something, like, you get the Sunday night blues. That's, like, normal. It's a dopamine. Like, it's how you. Your brain regulates itself. But we don't want to, like, embrace it and be into it. So we just, like, constantly go, go, go, go. We scroll our phones for more dopamine, more dopamine, more dopamine till it's, like, burnout or, like, something. I need to take a social media break or I need to, like, take a dry January or whatever, because I think we don't, like, let emotions come and go.

[Jamie]

Yeah, well. And it's always kind of goes back to, like, the cheesy quote that, like, happiness isn't a destination, it's a journey. And that is so true. I think people are like, I just want to be happy. That comes and goes as well.

[Maddie]

Right. And so did you watch the Amber Heard Johnny Depp trial?

[Jamie]

And not enough to know a lot about it, but I. I know about it.

[Maddie]

Okay. So I watched the. When they brought in the psychiatrist, and she was saying, our brains aren't meant to be on this. Go, go, go, go. Like, always in love, madly infatuated, like, can't get enough of each other. It would kill us. It's like being a crack addict. So we have to come down from it. That's why relationships eb and flow. And so I think we as a society try to stay on that, like, feeling on cloud nine. And, like, oh, I'm so addicted to that. And. And it's so easy now instead of just being right here.

[Jamie]

Well, like, and when sometimes you're, like.

[Maddie]

Embracing the Sunday night blues or, like, embracing, like, just kind of leaning into it and being like, I'm sad right now. And that's okay. It doesn't mean the world is ending. Jewel, the singer Jewel, she talks about, like, how she, like, dealt with her depression at 15. She said she would watch the waves go in and out, and she realized that nature has, like, ins and outs, seasons. And so we as humans, as being part of nature, probably do too. And so it's got to go in and out.

[Jamie]

I struggle really hard with seasonal depression, and I. The older I get, the more I'm like, I just have to accept that these next few months of it being dark and cold is gonna mess with my brain. It's gonna mess with me mentally and I have to find ways to be able to get that little bit of, like, serotonin and high and work extra hard, because it just is something I struggle with and that it's not permanent.

[Maddie]

I also don't think we should disregard, like, seeing. Seeking professional help.

[Jamie]

Yes, right. Exactly.

[Maddie]

But I think that, like, Sunday night blues are normal. And I think that, like, the letdown after, like, a big family wedding and you've seen everybody you love is normal.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Or like, coming back from a trip.

[Maddie]

Yeah. Yeah. Where you just have so much fun and you're like, oh, I gotta go back to relax. That's normal.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

Or like, being angry at a situation and being okay to be angry instead of being like, I shouldn't be angry at them. Like, it's like, oh, it's okay to be angry for a little bit or feel hurt. My feelings are hurt. You know, and then just to be okay that they. When. And like, you. You renew a thought process every 90 seconds. And so it's like, I can either renew this thought process and stay here, or I can just choose to jump off.

[Jamie]

And I got to learn to jump off sometimes, because sometimes it's like a Ferris wheel.

[Maddie]

I think sometimes it's okay to, like, think about it, but sometimes I.

[Jamie]

Over and over and over, and it's like. And I'll catch myself. I, like, will myself to will myself. I'm not thinking about this anymore. I've thought about it till it's. Until it's imprinted in my brain and, like, I need to move on. And I'll catch myself, like, gazing and thinking. I'm like, nope, cut it out.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Cut it out.

[Maddie]

Yeah. So I think that that's good.

[Jamie]

Yeah. My number seven is something I say every year. I always put it down because I think it is inevitably true. And I do have to remind myself about it. But dream big, but live small. Never, never stop being fulfilled with the little things. A good cup of coffee, a slow morning, a beautiful sunset, you know, but. And enjoy the small things. But also, it's okay to drink big.

[Maddie]

See you practice gratitude.

[Jamie]

You know, I love the small things. I love a slow morning, having a cup of coffee. I love a good sunset. I'll always take the picture. It brings me joy. But I'm always gonna never stop dreaming big. I'm such a dreamer. I'll never stop dreaming for a vacation home or the next trip or, you know, getting a new couch. Like, it's okay to dream those things, but it's okay. I love to really sit back and say but what are the little things I love in life? Collecting ornaments or Taylor Swift or good cup of coffee? Live small, but dream big. But don't forget to live small.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Because then when those dreams do happen, and like you just said, with those fleeting feelings, they do come and go, you know, you. You'll dream big for this next big vacation, but that big vacation will inevitably end, and you have to be able to come back and be like, these are those small, little things I love that are always guaranteed, you know, you'll dream big to get this brand new, amazing couch. But what happens after a month and you're like, I'm over the new couch. You know, you have to be able.

[Maddie]

To still be grateful for.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

Be happy and little. And content with little.

[Jamie]

Yeah. So I always say to myself, live small, but drink big.

[Maddie]

It's like the quiet mornings. Do you wake up early?

[Jamie]

I try, but no, I don't, but.

[Maddie]

Dylan shaking his head, Dylan, do you wake up early?

[Jamie]

Yes, he does, but I mean, like, on a Saturday after. And I don't have kids, so after Saturday, after working long hours all week, nothing I love more than getting up on a Saturday and having nothing to do.

[Maddie]

Yeah. I was trying to say I like. I like waking up early, like, before the rest of the world's awake. I used to do it in college, too. I loved it in college. Like, before the rest of the world's awake. He's nodding his head because he knows it's like, especially in the fall when the air is really crisp and you go outside and it's, like, kind of chilly and you've got your coffee and, like, it's so quiet because there's no cars running because everybody's asleep. That's like.

[Jamie]

I love, like, when it gets. It's gonna get warmer and it's spring. I love watching a good sunset with, you know, my fire going on my back porch. I. Me and Dylan crave those nights.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

And we'll listen to music, have a little nightcap, and then you go to bed, and it's like, I love the. And it's a little fleeting. It's a little fleeting moment because it doesn't last. Like, you want to hold on to those little moments, but they just bring me so much joy.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

And I. I would have those little moments, I think, over big, big things anyway.

[Maddie]

Yeah. It's like Christmas when you're a kid versus an adult.

[Jamie]

Yeah. The holidays don't do it for me nearly. And I think it's because I don't have kids. You Know, I'm just.

[Maddie]

It is what it is, I think when they're first. The first couple years are also really hard when you have kids. It's because it's like, what am I doing? What do I got to figure out? Like, now we've kind of gotten into a rhythm.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

And, you know, that's fun. Okay, so my number eight is sometimes a no is your best yes. Because I feel like. So I hit burnout last year really bad, and I, like, started just saying no to everything. And it was actually kind of like a good thing because in January, I removed a ton of stuff from my very full plate. And I was like, I can't do that anymore. Don't want to do that. Like, does this actually fulfill me? Does it bring me happiness? Is it helping me move forward in life, whatever. And so saying no to things that sometimes I wanted to say yes to but, like, weren't for the best, or removing stuff or when somebody asks if I can, like, hey, can you put this event together? I'm like, no, I can't. You know, like an OB was like, I already have so many obligations that the last thing I need is another obligation to somebody. To something or somebody that is not my immediate priority. Like my family, like my kids.

[Jamie]

No is a full sentence.

[Maddie]

Yes. And so just doing that. I think that that is really hard for people sometimes. I always tell my brother, like, he's always like, I'm just so busy. I'm like, it is okay to say no. It is okay.

[Jamie]

And it is a full sentence.

[Maddie]

Yeah. Like, no, I thank you, though.

[Jamie]

And sometimes, like, explanation and being like, I just don't want to is okay. Yeah, I, you know, it's okay to be selfish in the time you consume in your life, because it's your life, it's your time.

[Maddie]

Well, and time is your only non renewable resource.

[Jamie]

Yeah. It's fleeting every day.

[Maddie]

Yeah. So that was a big thing that I had to learn.

[Jamie]

Yeah. This is such the dreamer in me. This next one, which Dylan and I are constantly talking, that I'm such a. I'm such a hard dreamer and stuff, but life is too short. So I just try not to take it too seriously. But. So my number eight is get the tattoo, take the trip, buy yourself flowers, put on too much blush, wear the outfit you like. Life has always been too short to not make yourself feel beautiful or alive. And I don't like to overthink such small things. To me, you know, like getting a small tattoo and people are like, well, aren't you what if you regret it. What if. What if I do? You know? But I wanted it in that moment, and it brought me joy, and it didn't hurt anybody. And so do it. Live it. And they're like, they're permanent. Well, nothing's permanent, you know, now they're.

[Maddie]

So easy to remove.

[Jamie]

But, you know, and it's like, are you scared to wear that outfit because people are judge you? Do you. Do you like the outfit? Do you feel good in the outfit? Wear it, you know, so it's like, just. I think that life is too short to overanalyze and think about things. That overthinking bring you fulfillment in that moment, like, take the trip. Well, it's a lot of money. Money comes back.

[Maddie]

Money comes and goes.

[Jamie]

Money comes and goes. You know, it's like, people are. I think a lot of people. I try not to overthink a situation. Do I like the tattoo? Did I want the tattoo? I got the tattoo. Do I want to take this trip? Do I want to save up for this trip? Yes. Is it going to. Is money going to come and go? Do people say, like, wow, she overdoes her makeup? Yes, but I like the way I do my makeup. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel. Do people say that to you sometimes? You know, or the outfit? Oh, my God. There's so many times I'll come out on an outfit, and Dylan looks at me, and he's like, what are you wearing? And I'm like, I like it. I feel good in it. I'm wearing it. I. Life's just too short to overthink those things for me. And I think that goes into confidence. It's like, if it makes you feel good and confidence and alive, then do it. Life's too damn short.

[Maddie]

It's a good one. All right? My number nine is listen more, talk less. I feel like as a society, we listen to respond. We don't listen to listen. And that is something I think that I. Like, I have, like. That is a big shift that we have had in our household. It was a couple years ago, but especially now, I'm guilty of this. Really?

[Jamie]

Yeah. I think we all are, you know, and sometimes you just have to listen and not respond on, like, oh, my God. Like, you're. You're already thinking in your head. When you're having a conversation with somebody, especially if it's a hard conversation or, you know, you're confronting a situation, you're already thinking, this is how I'm gonna respond. Because we play out those scenarios. So Hard in our head. And it sometimes just listen.

[Maddie]

I also think that it could be, like, opinions. How we were talking about opinions. Everybody, like, wants to get there, like, oh, I gotta add my point of view.

[Jamie]

Mine's more important.

[Maddie]

Yeah. Oh, I. And it's like. So they're like. And I find myself doing it like, I'm not listening to the end of what people are saying all the time.

[Jamie]

Yeah, same. That's a good one. My number nine is very simple. Never forget, forget the power of prayer. I pray all the time. And, you know, just because I don't see the prayer that I'm praying unfold right there, right now, doesn't mean it's not powerful and it's not peaceful and it doesn't mean it's not going to happen. But power to pray, I think the power to pray about things that just are inevitably out of our control and never were in our control gives us such a good sense. It gives me such a good sense of peace. And I need. I really, truly find so much peace with the power of prayer.

[Maddie]

All right, number 10 for me is it's okay for people to not understand your point of view.

[Jamie]

Yeah. I think that if you are really trying to get somebody to see your point of view, I think you need to ask yourself why you want them to see it so desperately.

[Maddie]

The other thing is, is if I think. I think sometimes we want. We as human beings want others to empathize with us or understand, and that's normal. I think we also try and get them to understand it with force sometimes and aggression or, like, attacking instead of just being empathetic and understanding. But also, sometimes people are never going to understand your point of view. And that is okay.

[Jamie]

It is okay. That. Yeah, that's a good one. I've learned that. I feel like I get smacked in the face with that all the time. I'm like, I could say this till I'm blue in the face, and they're still not going to get it. And that's okay.

[Maddie]

Yeah. And I feel. I feel like, too, I'll say something from my point of view and somebody will take it from their point of view. And I'm like, that is not. We. We're not even saying you. We're not even saying the same thing, you know?

[Jamie]

Yeah. This next one's kind of a downer, a serious one. But this was the first year I really learned about grief. So when I learned a lot about grief, this why I lost two grandparents. This year. I lost my. You know, my mom found her biological father who we got really close to in the past five years, and I. That's a whole story time. But he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and so he died. And just realizing that we were kind of gypped of a lot of time with him has been hard. And when we feel like we deserved a lifetime, we got five years, ultimately. And there's a lot of backstory of that. And just learning how to miss somebody that you're never going to see again is really hard. And it's the first time in my whole life that I've lost somebody. So that's kind of smacked me in the face. But I just put. Grief is. Grief isn't something you ever get over, but it's something you learn to get through.

[Maddie]

When. When Garrison died, somebody said, like, it's like a ball, and you're in. Like, in a room with a button. And when. When it's fresh, it's like, that ball is huge, and it sits on the button, and you're just always feeling it. And then as time goes on, the ball gets smaller, and sometimes that ball hits the button and it kind of smacks you out of nowhere. It doesn't mean that grief is any less hard. It just means it's not always sitting on the button.

[Jamie]

Yeah. And I. It was a. It's a hard concept until you've lost somebody. And it. And I've been very privileged to go 28 years of my life without losing somebody that I loved and that I was very close to. And so this was the first year that happened. And to me, learning that, it's a very unlearnable concept that you are going to miss somebody for the rest of your time. Like, there's nothing you can do about that. Missing them. And so that's. That's been very challenging to learn because it's. It's almost an un. Grief. And like, losing somebody is almost. It's all. It's like. It's such a hard thing to wrap your head around. Like, it's almost an unimaginable. Like, it's hard. It's been hard for me. Like, what do you mean? You know, so that learning. That has been difficult for me.

[Maddie]

Grief is interesting.

[Jamie]

It is interesting. It is interesting. And this was the first year, and I kind of got a touch of that. So it's. It's interesting to learn the things that you learn in grief.

[Maddie]

Yeah. You'll never hear their voice on this earth again.

[Jamie]

Yeah. It's, like, weird. It's weird. And it's hard like a Lot of things you have to wrap your mind around a lot of things about losing people that you've never had to wrap your mind around before. And they're like questions that don't really have a solidified answer. It's like, what do you. What do you mean? You know, it's. It's. It's a crazy concept. Grief.

[Maddie]

All right. My 11 is friendships are better as quality, not quantities.

[Jamie]

It's so funny. I have that up here, too.

[Maddie]

Oh, really? I feel like you learned that in your 20s, maybe earlier.

[Jamie]

That was like, my next.

[Maddie]

I definitely learned it before, but it was, like, something that I registered this year.

[Jamie]

Yeah, it is. Quality on everything is so much more important than quantity.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

You know? Yeah, I've learned that with everything. Like, quality of clothing is more important than quantity. Right.

[Maddie]

Oh, 100.

[Jamie]

You know, we talked about that. You learn that when you're older. Just everything. It's like, you know, buying. Even buying people gifts at Christmas, it's like, quality is so much more important than buying them five instead of one good one.

[Maddie]

And then, you know, consumerism gets us to buy more.

[Jamie]

And so. Yeah, but it's. It. Friendships that hold so true. Because, you know, sometimes it's okay to just love the friends you got and realize I'm good.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Like, it's okay to meet people and become friends, but my core friends, it's like, I'm good if these are my core friends for the rest of my life.

[Maddie]

Yeah. Being friendly, but being friends is different. Right?

[Jamie]

Yeah. That's a good one. My last one. Because that was, you know.

[Maddie]

Yours.

[Jamie]

Yeah, my last one. And after all that, life is never that serious.

[Maddie]

No.

[Jamie]

No, it was never that serious to me. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror. It's not that serious. It's. You know what? It never was that serious. I think sometimes.

[Maddie]

Do you take life seriously?

[Jamie]

I think. I think this year I've had to remember that. You know what, Jamie? If it doesn't work out, that's okay. You tried. You gave it your all. If it does great. If it doesn't, you're gonna be okay. And I just, like, life's not. Shouldn't be so seriously, like, all I can do every day is get up, be a. Try to be a good wife, a good friend, a good daughter, go to work, do the job I need to do, and live in the small things.

[Maddie]

Do you take life seriously?

[Jamie]

I think I overanalyze life.

[Maddie]

Okay. It's like, you're not. We literally just had this conversation where you said you're not a very serious person.

[Jamie]

I'm not. But that's because I don't think it's always warranted. I don't think it should be serious, which I wish sometimes I was a little. I came off a little bit more serious. But I think that just has. I think me not take. I think me not coming up. Coming off seriously. And, like, using humor and stuff is to protect myself.

[Maddie]

Ouch.

[Jamie]

Like, I. I use my goofiness as, like, an armor.

[Maddie]

That's fair, so.

[Jamie]

Which is a whole nother discussion.

[Maddie]

But that's funny. I feel like I am a serious person, but I guess that is the learned thing, like, not to take life too seriously. It's like, what's the worst case scenario?

[Jamie]

You know? And it's like. Like, he kind of goes back and bad things are gonna happen. It's like, all you can do is kind of laugh. Like, you know, if you get an offender bender, like, yeah, that sucks. But, like, kind of giggle. I kind of giggle about things like that. Like, it's like, you want to listen to my shitty day? I got a fender bender. Like, and I laugh, and I make it, like, kind of a joke. Because life is just not that serious. You can't control those things. And so instead of sitting there, you know, saying all these things, especially, like, all these deep, heavy things, you've learned also to learn that, like, nine times out of 10, it was never that serious. Life is only as serious as we make it.

[Maddie]

Yeah. We get on, like, the idea of how it's supposed to be, and then when it doesn't, it, like, doesn't go that way. It, like, derails us. And it's like, why am I getting upset about this?

[Jamie]

Yeah. Or like, my dog peed on the floor. Just. You can. You can choose to sit there and be pissed about it, or you just laugh it off.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

And be like.

[Maddie]

I feel like that comes with kids, you know?

[Jamie]

Like, you just. Life is not that serious.

[Maddie]

Yeah. It's like getting thrown up in your mouth.

[Jamie]

God.

[Maddie]

It's like when you're, like, bouncing the baby and it just. All right. My last one's a little bit more funny. It says, a lot of people want to be Beth Dutton and are not even close.

[Jamie]

Oh, that woman is. I idolize her.

[Maddie]

Do you?

[Jamie]

I love Beth Dutton.

[Maddie]

It's so funny.

[Jamie]

Do you?

[Maddie]

I like her. I think it's funny because so many people think that they are Beth Dutton, and I'm like, she, like, is really crooked in business. I don't think you would have the Spine to do that.

[Jamie]

Why do you. What do you mean? Like, what they want? People say they're like Beth Dutton.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Because they think they are. Like, they're tough. Are tough.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Yeah. I would love to see you get the beat. Like, no.

[Maddie]

Like, that doesn't really happen in real life. First off.

[Jamie]

No.

[Maddie]

Yellowstone's a fictional thing. But it's funny how many people are like, I'm Beth Dutton, and I'm like, but you are not.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Beth Dutton is Beth.

[Maddie]

That.

[Jamie]

It wouldn't get Beth. I didn't want to get along with.

[Maddie]

A lot of people.

[Jamie]

Well, she wouldn't get away with half the stuff in real life.

[Maddie]

Well. And I don't think she would get along. I think if you knew a Beth. I think we all know a Beth, then. But we don't really like them.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Maddie]

You know, we don't want. And we, like, literally are like, we don't want to be that. The only reason that we, like, idolize Bethune is because she's a woman who doesn't take shit. But you can be that.

[Jamie]

Yeah. And then Beth Dudden is also. She always thinks she's right. So, I mean, it goes back to everything we say on, like, it's okay to be wrong and not always be right and to be health healthy and peaceful and stuff. And, like, it's okay to share your opinions if you're nice about it. Beth Dun doesn't do any of those things. Okay. She shares her opinion. She always thinks she's right. She's going to be the loudest person in the room and make sure she's heard. And that's great if that's, you know, the type of female you are. But honestly, it just. You wouldn't.

[Maddie]

How many females do you know that are actually like Beth Dutton?

[Jamie]

I don't think anybody.

[Maddie]

It's.

[Jamie]

I don't think I met anybody like that.

[Maddie]

One or two. And I stay far away from them.

[Jamie]

Yeah. No, but I love Beth. She's a great character.

[Maddie]

It was funny because, like, I was thinking about it the other. Like, everybody wants to be Beth Dunn, but it's like. But nobody really wants to be Beth Dunn.

[Jamie]

I think if you could take anything from being Beth Dutton is her confidence that she exudes to the world and the. You know, I'm gonna fight for the people I love, and I do it. I'm powerful. Like, those are good stances to take from her, logistically, a little other things and stuff like that fraud. That kind of fraud. You know, getting in bar fights until people are beaten to a pulp. Like, maybe those aren't things we should take. But, you know, good tv. Thank you guys for watching. We would love to know some of the things you've learned this year, lessons you took away. Yeah.

[Maddie]

I think. Funny, sad, serious.

[Jamie]

I think 2024 was probably a hard year for a lot of people.

[Maddie]

I think it was good for some people, too. Yeah.

[Jamie]

And if it's good, it was good for you. You know, we. I love to know what people learn.

[Maddie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Especially, like, you know, silly, goofy ones. So let us know in the comments. And by the time we see you, it will be next year. Bye.