Jamie (0:00)

Welcome back to the Authentic Society. I'm Jamie and if you're new here, welcome. I'm your only host now and if you are joining me for the first time, second time, third time, grab your drinks, buckle up. This is going to be a girl chat today. Before I get into our girl chat and what I want to talk about this episode, I do want to speak about a few things. I don't want to come off as every other content creator with saying thank you, but I have to because this last week I have seen so much love and support, especially from my YouTube girlies. Screw tick tock. YouTube girlies are ride or freaking dies. And I just want to live in my YouTube comments because they are so kind, so fun and that's exactly the kind of community I want to be growing. And I wish I could comment back and have a drink with all of you because the kind of women that are supporting me are definitely the type of women that I want to build this community around. And so I just want to say thank you. It has been so humbling and rewarding and has give me given me that boost to keep going and keep doing this podcast. Obviously on my last episode you could see I was nervous. I was talked very slow because I was being very careful about my choice of words and not wanting to say the wrong thing. As you will come to find I actually speak very fast that I do need to slow my voice down so I can articulate my words. I do have a speech impediment. I took speech all growing up and sometimes I jumble my words and I don't say the words correctly. So bear with me on that with just the light of being authentic. But thank you. I don't want to get too emotional because that's not really my style. But I truly feel so blessed and you guys have just been amazing, especially on YouTube TikTok, you know, hit or miss there. Also I don't want to be that regular old basically that says hey follow me on Instagram. But I will say I do look at my Instagram messages a lot more than the comment section on YouTube. So just because I like having conversations with you guys and if you do message me, I feel like we can go back and forth and converse and have good genuine conversations. And yeah, I will link both my Instagrams below the actual podcast Instagram as well as my personal Instagram. I have some goals I would really like to get to number wise this year it would be a dream to get to 10k on my personal Instagram and 20k on the podcast, Instagram. But, you know, if I don't, that's okay. I'm. I love all. I love all you guys already. And if it's just us, then hey will be in our bubble and I'll be okay. But just thought I'd throw that out there. Um, but, yeah, thank you. I. I really don't. I don't want to keep saying thank you, but I just feel like I can't say it enough because you guys, I mean, I'm just shocked by the YouTube comments. If you're listening from Spotify or Apple, go over to the YouTube comments. It's such a cool, kind, honest, open comment section that I hope we can do that every single podcast. But, yeah, getting into the podcast for today, deciding what I wanted to talk about, I will probably ramble because it is really hard to talk to just yourself. And as you can imagine, if you're not having a conversation with somebody and just yourself, it's really what's going on in my brain, which is scary that I'm going to share all the thoughts that are coming out on my brain. So a lot of you will probably be like, wow, she is rambling, because, yes, I will be. And two, you're going to be like, what goes on in this woman's brain? She needs psychiatric help. And that would also be true. But anyway, I'm going to do my best to stay on topic that I want to talk about. I have gotten so many messages and comments like, tell us more about yourself. We'd love to know more about your background. And I can't share that in all one video. I feel like each time we do a podcast, it's gonna be like we're going on another date to get to know each other. And the more we date, hopefully the more we like about each other and our connection grows stronger and. Or not. You could. I could give you the ick. And that's completely valid, too. I hope that with each podcast, you get to know me, I get to know you, and we just become friends. And, you know, a part of this podcast is sharing really deep, vulnerable things. So that today I wanted to share something deep and vulnerable and really open myself up to what's going on right now in my life. I do want to dig deeper in my past traumas and things I've dealt with, whether it's friendship, breakups, family stuff. But I thought, thought to be really transparent, I wanted to talk about what's going on now in my life, because that's obviously what I'M dealing with. And yeah, let's get into it. Okay, so today I want to talk about post holiday blues, seasonal depression and anxiety. So this is your official trigger warning that I will be talking about anxiety and depression. And if that triggers you, I just want to give you guys a heads up also. Disclaimer. I feel like I need to say this. I am not a doctor. I barely know how to get through my own life. I'm not giving anybody advice. I'm just sharing my personal experiences and what I'm going through. And if you can relate late, then I think that's great. And don't take anything I say with advice. Just know I'm sharing my experiences. January is a hard freaking month. Somebody needs to write a book about how to get through January because it is one of the hardest months, I feel like, out of the year to get through for me. I feel like when you get into a new year, everyone's like, new year, new me has all these goals and going on trips and, you know, trying to better themselves. And January has just always slapped me so hard in the face with feeling sluggish, unmotivated, anxiety driven. And I feel like we've already lived this month for 50 days. And as I'm recording this, we're on day 16 and I can't wait to get through January. January and seasonal depression hit me so hard. And I'm really going through that right now. I know I'm not alone. I know that there are so many people out there that struggle with their anxiety being heightened through the cold winter months as well as seasonal depression. And I just want to take time out of this podcast to be really open and vulnerable with you're not alone. And even though I know it's coming every January and every winter, it doesn't get easier. It's such a struggle for me. Who? Somebody who craves sunlight and craves being outdoors, sitting on my back porch, going for walks around my property. To be in such a time of year where it's cold and it gets dark at 5 o'clock and you feel lazy and tired and unmotivated and you want to start the year out on a good year, but it's just hard. It's hard to go from holidays and eating everything you want, drinking, being married, being around all your friends and family, to go back to normal in January where you're tired, you're cold, and you necessarily are not going to be a fitness coach this year or be the healthiest version of yourself when all you want to do is Sleep and just survive the day. And I think that's really important for us as humans to understand that just because this time of year you are feeling sluggish or unmotivated doesn't mean that's how you'll feel two months from now when it starts to warm up, the sun starts to come out. We are so tied to our environment as humans that we forget we need to listen to our bodies and not what the outside perception is telling us. So I look up some facts about seasonal depression because it's so fascinating to me that our bodies really have everything to do with like our minds and our mental health. And yeah, it's just, it's fascinating. And so I looked up like, why do people feel need to sleep more in the winter? And it's interesting because if you look it up, animals and mammals, which we are mammals, hibernate this time of year. They are resting their bodies to be up during the summer months to hunt, to feed, to, to feel that energy again. And as humans, we go, go, go and go 12 months out of the year. You do need a month where you just kind of hibernate. And it, everything in society tells us something different, that January has to be the month that you get your life together and you get all these fitness goals and you know, you work hard and slay hard and all this stuff. And it's really not what necessarily our bodies are supposed to do. And so like obviously less sunlight, we need sunlight. The body produces more melatonin when there's less sunlight. So our bodies are basically telling us, hey, you aren't, you aren't producing serotonin like you should be. You're actually producing more melatonin which makes you sleepier and colder temperature Picture exposure to cold temperature slows down your metabolism, which is so true. You can go outside in this cold weather and walk a mile and you're going to feel like you walk three just because it's cold. And we have to remind ourselves that, that it's, we can't push ourselves or feel as good outside as we normally would because of the cold weather. It exhausts you. And then holiday stress. Seasonal depression really can tie in with holiday stress. And a lot of times around the holidays, people feel as have anxiety and holidays not are there holidays aren't always happy for everybody. They can be a really hard time for everybody. And so it's like by the time you get through the holidays, good or bad, your body's exhausted, your mind is exhausted, you're poor, you're broke, you just did three major holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's. You're tired, that's a lot to pack in. A lot of family to see, a lot of friends to see, a lot of holiday parties and you're frickin tired. I'm telling you, we need to vote that January is the month we get off, not Christmas. Whatever. I think all Americans should take the whole month of January off to recoup. Then I would actually worry about my health goals and actually probably eat healthy because I wouldn't just be trying to frickin survive. But I think it's interesting because it's really our bodies telling us to slow down, but society telling us to speed up. And I know for me it's a battle between my brain and my body telling me something different. And I think that's okay. I have to tell myself that just because I haven't started a health fitness journey or met my goals or, you know, said all the things I was gonna do January 1st doesn't mean that there aren't gonna be new months to start over. There isn't gonna be a time where my body feels like this and my brain doesn't feel like this as well. So a lot of the physical symptoms, obviously from seasonal depression and this time of year can be your mood, you know, especially with daylight and stuff, sunlight. They have done so many studies on sunlight and how it affects our moods. You can feel sad, hopeless or worthless. Your energy, your sleep, your appetite. This time of year, when it's cold, our body craves, you know, sweets and carbohydrates, or experience unplanned weight gain because you are eating because you're cold. You don't have as good of a metabolism to wear it off. You know, you're using more energy when it's cold, so you're craving to eat. So I do feel like this time of year it's so harder for me to eat healthy. And it's so much easier in the summer when it's light to eat, like fresh fruits and, you know, salads and stuff. And this time of year I just want soup and bread. I want to eat chili and bread all freaking day long and then I want to have a warm cookie after. That sounds like a perfect meal to me. And obviously that's not the healthiest thing for you, but that's what I crave this time of year. Obviously when I'm in the summertime, I crave, you know, light foods. And I think it has a lot to do with the weather and you know, listening to our Bodies. I thought this fact was really interesting. Around 4 out of 5 individuals affected by seasonal depression or female. We just can't have anything, can we? Meaning women are roughly four times more likely to struggle with seasonal depression compared to men. I swear, they give it. We get all the shit. We get it all. No, I'm kidding. Not. But I think it's interesting because I do think women feel more pressure around the holidays to make everything perfect, especially if you have children, you know, to cook, to get all the gifts, to make sure the holidays are magic. Like, women are the magic. I feel like at the holidays, not saying that men don't help out or anything. This isn't me hating on men. You know, I. Husbands help, too. But women, I feel like, feel like all that pressure to make holidays perfect and the season joyous. And then once the holidays are done, you're just tired. You're tired. You don't have enough time to recuperate until it's New Year's Day. And then those same women who have spent the last three months trying to make magic in their household while working, while taking care of the kids and feeling all that stress, don't have time to relax and settle until you have a new year, new goals, new things you've got to do. Kids are back in school, you're back at work. You know, you want to start eating healthier, but you're tired and it's hard, and you don't have time for your body to relax after those holidays. And I really think that's why seasonal depression hits you so hard. Or for me, in January, you don't have time to catch up. You don't have time to just sit and be like, okay, I need to rest. And this is interesting for the possible reasons that women are more likely to have seasonal depression. Hormonal fluctuations, sensitivity to light changes, and genetic factors may contribute to higher prevalence in women. And so obviously, hormones. It always comes back to hormones, does it not? I swear, all of our hormones is the reason for everything. And so with all that being said, I know I'm just, like, spitting out facts, but it's because I'm really struggling with it right now. And I always do better when I'm struggling with something to talk about it. But the holidays have always brought on a lot of anxiety for me. And knowing this time of year is coming is always, like, so dreadful. I'm such a summer girl where I love being outdoors and sitting on my back porch and getting sunlight, going to the beach. I really enjoy going to the beach. I enjoy being on a boat during the summer. I crave sunlight and outdoors and I would take the hundred degree heat to it, staying light to 9pm, then the 21 degrees and it getting dark at 5pm this shit's for the birds. I need summer. I would take sweating my butt off then feeling like I have to go into a four day coma to survive. But that's just me. That's just me. And I know I always work, work. I, I know I always feel better once I talk and process through my feelings. And so that's what this girl chat is, talking, thinking through my feelings. So when I was sitting down trying to figure out what I was going to talk about, I was like, oh, I know I want to talk about seasonal depression because this is something that hits me so hard. I have to do better as myself to give myself. What's the word? I. Not too high of expectations. I think when you go into the new year you have all these high expectations. I want this for this year. I want to, you know, whether it's like working your ass off at work or getting your body in shape or clearing up your skin, you have all these goals as women that you want to do and you expect it to be done the third week of January. And when that doesn't hit true, when you're just trying to get through the winter months, you feel, you feel, you know, disencouraged. I know I do. I look at myself every day and like, gosh, I really could learn to rid of those ten pounds. Gosh, I need to start working out. Gosh, I need to start eating better. And then you wake up the next day and you go to work, you do your best at your job, you get home, it's dark out and you're tired and all you want to do is curl up on your couch and read your Kindle or watch your reality TV show of the night. And the working out doesn't seem as important, the eating healthy doesn't seem as important, the making your five step skin care routine doesn't seem as important, you know, and then it's like a constant cycle. I think for holding myself accountable, I need to start making more realistic expectations for myself. You know, it's like I want to lose 20 pounds this year. Okay, well, let's take it a day at a time. Saying a whole year, 12 months is a long time. And for me I feel like I have to start taking it week by week. So next week I want to start out small because it is cold, but I do Want to start walking again? I love to walk. I know my body is feeling not the best because I haven't been as active. And so this upcoming week, I am going to set that I'm going to walk three days of the week outside, even if it's cold, for 30 minutes. Three days for 30 minutes. And you who are watching or listening might be like, well, that's nothing. But for me, if I go, I'm going to start walking every day for two miles, then I might not do it. That might be feeling overwhelming. So I have to start learning how to set smaller expectations for myself, especially in such a hard month of January, to just do it. Because sometimes when you set too high expectations, you don't do it because it feels too overwhelming. So next week, to help get me out of this slump of seasonal depression, I've decided I'm going to walk at least three days next week outside for 30 minutes. And then I want to up it the next week and do four days, and then up it the next week and do five days. I really want to challenge myself just to start walking again because I love it, I enjoy it. I don't love being cold. And I don't have my treadmill anymore, which sucks, but. And now, you know, it comes back to, like, money. Like, I don't want to spend money to buy a treadmill, so I have to walk outside, which is okay. It's going to help you with my sunlight. It's. I'm going to feel better. And it's not about, like, the weight falling off and stuff. I just know I need to move. And so I think for women and men especially, we need to start putting on realistic expectations for ourselves in January. You don't have to have all these goals where it's like, I'm gonna start working out every other day. I'm gonna get a personal trainer. It's like, just set a goal of, like, maybe I'm gonna walk more and walk for 30 minutes or an hour for three days out of the week or four days. And I have to be better about that because I feel like I had. I. I set these high expectations and they just never reach them. And then I feel bad about myself. So that's one thing I'm going to do to get out of my slump. I'm in such a slump. I also do want to start eating better, but I travel a lot for work. I. I commute like an hour away, like, three times a week. And so it is really hard for me to eat better again. I'm making excuses. I'm making excuses. But next week I really do want to start eating better. I don't know what that looks like. Actually, that's something I need to ask you guys since we're having a girl check. How do you guys eat healthier if you do eat healthy? I'm never going to be this girl that just goes on a carnivore diet and eats only like meat and veggies. I can't do that seven times out of the week. That's just not in it for me. But how if you do eat healthy, what are some tips and tricks for somebody? That is one. I don't always enjoy cooking, especially when I get home. My husband also works where we don't have kids, so it's so easiest for I am Jordache hates to see me come in My the amount of money I've probably spent on door dash in 2025 or 2024 is sick. It's sick. You don't want to see it. It's sick. But I need my hus and I both, we both look at each other and go, we need to eat. Start eating healthy. So if you do eat healthy, how do you do it? Do you just come up with easy recipes? Do you use the crock pot? Let me know in the comments. Because I struggle so hard with this and I need to get better at it, but I also need it to not be overwhelming. I. If I go, I'm going to only eat this and that. I can't do it. I can't. I break it. So I just need something manageable. So let me know in the comments about that. Also, I need to tell myself it's okay. It's okay that you get home from a long day at work, wrestling, the kids, having to deal with this, that and that. That if you want to get on your couch, wrap up in a blanket, read a book or watch a TV show, that's okay, too. These months this January should be spent on like hibernating, you know, and getting ready to deal with the rest of the year. You know, I wish we spent January as a reset month and February 1st was like the first of the year. Because if we spent January kind of taking time to recollect ourselves from the holidays and rest and hibernate like other animals do, I think we would be better off for it. But yeah, that's just kind of what I'm going through right now. My mental health just takes such a toll. I'm not sleeping well. My mind does not shut off I always can tell that I sleep worse during the winter months because what I'll do is I'll come home and I will take a shower, get in my pajamas at 6 o'clock, rot on the couch, rot in my bed because I'm a rot girl, I love to rot. And then it gets to like 9:00, I have a second win and then I can't go to sleep. And then when I do go to sleep, I toss and turn all night. And so it's like I'm craving good sleep and I'm craving being tired and I'm tired all day until it's time to go to sleep. And that's a struggle for me. It really takes a toll on my mental health and my anxiety. And I always have struggled with, you know, my sleep. That's really genetic for me. My dad and granddad and you know, have all done sleep studies and we are just like born to not sleep well. And I've always struggled, always struggled with sleeping at night. I have not a lot of problems necessarily going to sleep, but staying to sleep is really hard. And I have the craziest dreams at night, which I don't think will ever help. But like for instance, last night, my anxiety, I can tell I had a stressful, anxiety ridden day yesterday because I slept and dreamt about getting a tattoo on my forehead and I was so anxious. Like, I know people dream about their teeth falling out at night when they're stressed or have anxiety, but I dream about getting unwanted tattoos all over my body. And I think it's because of American Horror Story, the Circus one. When they held the girl down and they tattooed her whole body because she did something. I can't remember what she did, but her father like kidnapped her and held her down and tattooed tattoos all over her whole body. And that traumatized me in college. And now when I have stressful, anxiety ridden dreams, I don't dream about my teeth falling out. I dream about like getting tattoos all over my neck and face that I can't get off. And that's how I knew I was stressed last night because I had a tattoo. I got a bow tattooed on my forehead with my friend Kylie and I like panicked the whole dream. I was like, how do we get this off? And we're going to have to go get it lasered and then I'm going to have a burn on my head because I got it lasered. And for some reason that's, that's how I know, that's how I know I'm going through it this month. And my anxiety is written because I had a dream of my tattoo, a tattoo on my forehead, which is a little bit of a tangent and a ramble. But again, I. That was a disclaimer in this episode. So, yeah, I know I really struggle this time of year. It shows in everything of my body. It shows in my weight. It shows in my sleep cycle. And I really want to be softer on myself in my mind that January should be a month of hibernation. And if you don't reach every single goal you have for the new year, 16 days in, well, you know what? That's normal and it's okay. And anxiety is normal, too. Seasonal depression is normal, too. You're not alone. You're not crazy. You're just basically a bear that can't hibernate. And I have to be more gentler on setting real expectations this time of year because of my seasonal depression and because of my anxiety, because I know I'm going to get out of this. I know I'm going to get through it. I know there are lighter days coming. I know there are warmer days coming and happier days are coming. I know there are going to be days where I feel more motivated and more like myself again. And it's frustrating. It sucks, because it's like you're waiting for this season of your life to end and you don't want to waste time. But also, it's very normal to feel slower this time of year. It's feeler. It's. It's normal to feel more weight this time of year, folks. Figurative. Figuratively and, you know, spiritually. But you don't have to give your anxiety, self anxiety over it. And you can still reach all your health goals and your skin goals and your work goals and your mom goals and your wife goals just because it's not done in 16 days in January. I also will say I have to start celebrating my small successes. And I think we're always so focused on the next best thing. And this comes with being content. And I talked about this last week. But again, if I'm being authentic, it's something I truly struggle with. I struggle with contentness. And I think that I have to start celebrating more of my small successes. So I do want to, at the end of each podcast, start celebrating a small success, like the high highs of my week or something. I celebrated. And I encourage you to do the same. In the comments, I want to hear something positive and something like small that you've celebrated this week, whether it's a personal goal or something with your family or something your child did or something your partner did or whatever it may be. Because when you look back on the year of 2025 and you look at all the small successes, that's what's going to equal your year. You know, all the little things that happen in between of all the big things is what your year equals. And I think we forget that. So my small success this week was I went on a trip last weekend to New York City. And when I get back from a trip, I got back Sunday. I usually don't unpack my suitcase for a week and wash things and get it cleared out until a week or two later. And yesterday I cleaned out my suitcase. I did two loads of laundry. Yes, one of them is still sitting in the dryer. It's not folded. But small successes here. And I put the suitcase up, it's up. And I feel good. It only took me three days to do that. And usually it takes me like seven to eight days to get my suitcase up. And I always feel really disheveled after a trip because I wait so long and put it off to like get every. Unpack everything and put everything away. And I did it in three days. And that is my small success for the week. So it's the small wins of learning those habits. So I'm telling myself, next time I go on a trip, the sooner you unpack your suitcase, yes, it's a pain. The sooner you'll feel better and feel like your life's back in order because it's so hard to come back from a trip. So here we go. Already in January, I'm feeling sluggish and maybe not like myself and seasonal depression's hitting me hard. But I have a small win for the week. So that is my small success. I hope you, you leave something in the comments below. And yeah, I really think getting through January, maybe I should write a book about it, getting the hell through January. Because why is this the hardest month of the year? Hardest freaking month of the year. I swear, honestly, I probably just said all this because I've been on my period. But anyway, another story for another day. Thank you so much for watching. I. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If it was chaotic, rambling. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm getting used to just talking to myself. I mean, I talk to myself all the time, but actually doing it in front of a camera, in front of a microphone is interesting. So, yeah, learning new things. But again, thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope to keep hearing from all of you guys in the comments. If you're feeling generous and want to keep up with me more, go follow my Instagrams. And if TikTok is still here this time next week, maybe I'll ask you to do the same from that. And yeah, I will see you guys next week. Also in the comments below. Can you tell me if you want to see my New York vlog? I don't think I necessarily. It's enough to post on YouTube for. It will probably be a very short vlog, because let me tell you, vlogging's hard. But if you want to see that as well, let me know in the comments and let me know what you want me to talk about next week. But yeah, I will be chatting with you guys soon. And thanks for listening. Bye. I don't know how long that was.