← The Balance Theory
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- [00:00]
A
We're waiting for permission from others. We're waiting till we lose 10kg. We're waiting until we get more money in the bank account. We're waiting until we have all of our ducks in a row. The reason why a lot of people don't achieve the things that they want, I think one is people are in waiting mode. And my message to you is simple. Today's guest is a strategic communication expert, best selling author and entrepreneur with more than three decades of experience in companies like Netflix and Google. Today she reveals industry secrets for networking, communication, and building a reputation. Joining me on the podcast today is Maha Abaloneen.
- [00:35]
B
It's not what you know, it's who you know. Yeah. I want to take it one step further because it's great. You can know a lot of people, but how do you actually leverage that network? How do you create value within that network? How do you stand out?
- [00:46]
A
We live in a trust economy. It doesn't matter how much influence you have or how many followers you have. Do people actually trust you? It used to be that where you went to school determined who you were going to become. That's not true anymore. Do you know what matters more than what you know? Reputation. You have to build your reputation, your relationships and network online and offline.
- [01:08]
B
How do you do that?
- [01:09]
A
So let me start with basics. First things first, I'm going to walk you through a lot of steps here. First of all, you are in a secure situation. You have a job, you have a title, you have benefits, you work for a company. Why do you need to build your reputation? Why do you need to build your relationships? Because you have everything you need. Well, you're wrong. That's what's the key.
- [01:33]
B
All right, Balancers, welcome back to another episode of the Balance Theory podcast. I'm joined by a guest today who I was very much drawn to her content, first and foremost through social media, then even more so after reading her book. And I think what we're going to discuss today is going to really, really resonate with you guys. So it's my absolute pleasure to welcome Maha Abu Alanin to the podcast. Welcome. Thank you.
- [01:56]
A
Thanks for having me, Erica.
- [01:58]
B
My pleasure. Now, I know you split your time between here in the US So I'm excited we got to tee this during your visit to Dubai. Just to give the listeners a little bit of context, can you just give us your quick pitch deck bio about who you are and what you do?
- [02:12]
A
Yeah. So, first of all, thank you for having me. I'm a huge fan of the show. So I'm delighted to be here. I am an American Egyptian. I'm born and raised in the US I'm 100% Egyptian and I'm a communications executive. I help people tell their stories, build their influence, build their trust and build their reputations. I'm former head of communications at Google here out of Dubai. Launched Netflix in the Middle Middle East. I worked for the office of the ruler of Dubai. I built Weber Shandwick's offices here in the Middle east. And I own my own company. I have a strategic communications company called Digital and Savvy. And we help people tell their stories and build their reputations. And I'm a best selling author of the book the seven Rules of Self Reliance.
- [02:51]
B
Amazing.
- [02:52]
A
Which is all about investing in yourself and starting with yourself and owning your future.
- [02:57]
B
Do you know what I love about this? As I have progressed through life and tried many different things, you know, whether it be getting a pay rise or getting certain people on the show or traveling for the podcast, like just anytime I've done something different, I've often thought it requires some sort of knowledge, right? Or some sort of skill set or people know something I don't that are doing something else. But what I've really learned and why I'm very excited to have this chat today is it is about your inner self belief, the way you view the world, the way you view your own value. And so this concept of self reliance, very, very much intriguing, intrigued me. And so just to kick things off in a world where we depend on jobs, even AI and tech, right? What does it actually mean to be self reliant?
- [03:43]
A
Yeah, I, first of all, I love this question. So a lot of people, when they saw the book Self Reliance, they're like, oh, she's teaching us how to be selfish. Like we just need to rely on ourselves. We don't need anybody else.
- [03:53]
B
It's like independent, independent.
- [03:54]
A
Independent. No, no, no. It's exactly the opposite of that, right? It's what can you do to rely on yourself first before reaching out a hand, before taking a step. There's so much that's within our own power, but we don't realize it. Or we don't give ourselves credit for it, or we don't give ourselves the value that we actually bring to every relationship, to every table. What's the secret sauce behind the common denominator in many things in your life, it's you. And how can you have that confidence to think that way? And how can you rewire yourself to say, listen, you know, I'm the One with the skills, I'm with the talent. You know, right now there are a lot of people are thinking about how they can have a competitive edge. It's you. It's not somebody showing up for you or someone you giving you an opportunity, it's you standing up to go grab it and take it. And the message of the book is to teach people the seven rules of the things that I think if they can master these or they can learn how to invest in them, that they will be A happier inside, B will feel more accomplished on what they're trying to achieve for their goals and they'll think about themselves first and their priorities in order to how to know how to achieve them.
- [05:08]
B
It is interesting and I do like that you've distinguished like it's not about being selfish and it's also actually not about going through life alone because no, you know, that's, that's not so important what we wired to do. But it's just that first and foremost, check in, is it you? And it made me think, why do you think we grow up not having that as our default?
- [05:31]
A
I mean I don't know the answer to that question per se, but I can think that so many of us are in, are waiting and we don't realize we're waiting. We're waiting for permission from others. We're waiting till we lose 10kg. We're waiting until we get more money in the bank account. We're waiting until we have all of our ducks in a row. We're waiting for someone because we fear judgment. We're waiting because we don't want to fail. We're waiting because we, we just don't want to step outside our comfort zone. And I think that's the thing that I think that social media has perpetuated the comparison. So a lot of people are like, oh, I don't want people to say who does she think she is posting that video? But you know what? Everyone else is posting that video and they're, and they're achieving the things that they care about and they're not worried about what other people think. And I find that the concept of self reliance and the reason why a lot of people don't achieve the things that they want, I think one is people are in waiting mode. They just know something big is going to happen to them because they think they deserve it, it's going to come to them. And my message to you is simple, don't be a waiter, be a creator. What are some of the things you want to create in your life. And I always used to say to myself, well, how come they can do that? And how come they can do that? I could do it if I wanted to put in the effort. I could create it if I wanted to get the skills I needed. I could create it if I wanted to get the experience I needed. And that's the difference.
- [06:56]
B
So you've already kind of brought out it's rule number three. And I remember that because it was actually my favorite rule in the book, this concept of not waiting. And I had sort of pondered on this a few months ago. I did an episode on it where I was talking about shifting out of the. This mindset of waiting to having arrived. And for me, it's not like you have to pretend like you've got the job. You have to pretend. You know, I think a lot of discourse around manifesting forces you to be something you're not yet.
- [07:26]
A
Yes.
- [07:27]
B
But for me, it's about shifting the inner dialogue to saying, I'm deciding that I'm no longer waiting and that I've arrived. And for me, that simply was. I've decided that I am this consultant that attracts this kind of business or attracts this kind of money every month. Like, I've decided that I am worthy of that. And. And that simple shift between love that, you know, I'm waiting to have those clients say yes, or I'm waiting for that money to hit my bank account versus I already know I'm worthy of that. That simple mindset shift just changed the way I was showing up. It changed the way I was drafting emails because instead of me drafting it from a place of waiting, I was drafting it from a place of having arrived. And like I said, it's not that something immediately changed in my environment. It was simply the inside dialogue and the way I was viewing kind of my place in the world.
- [08:12]
A
Yeah, it's instead of you projecting those email that you're needy and that you're desperate for their business, you're like, I have something of value. I'm confident that you're going to also believe that too.
- [08:23]
B
Yes.
- [08:24]
A
Such a big. That's a great point. I love that.
- [08:27]
B
So you're. When you kind of talk about it, you speak about in a very similar way. And it's about like creating movement. Right. Like actually taking that action. So for somebody listening now who maybe resonates with this, maybe they've been waiting for the right relationship, waiting to go on that date, waiting to apply for that job, waiting to ask for a pay rise, waiting to knock on the door of their dream client. What's some really practical things they can ask themselves or things they can do to actually start creating that movement? Because I, you know, one thing I really love doing on this show is it's great to say, like, just take the action.
- [09:01]
A
Yeah, Right.
- [09:02]
B
But let's try and get really granular here to make it as practical as possible for the listeners.
- [09:07]
A
So I love this. First of all, if you are waiting because you don't have the right experience, right. So you have to reverse engineer, what do you need to do to get that experience? Hence the movement. Yeah, hence the movement. So if it's an industry that you have never worked in before, but you want to get your foot in the door, let's say you work in banking and now you want to work in fashion because you're passionate about fashion.
- [09:29]
B
Right.
- [09:29]
A
You're not going to be able to go to the top floor. You're going to have to start somewhere. Right. So you have to figure out what do you need to do to get your foot in the door to try to get that experience in that industry? Is it shadowing someone? Is it having meetings with people? Is it volunteering to work on a project to get that experience? Experience, you're going to need to take a step. And that step might not be what you, you where, where you want to start, but it's where you need to begin. And so I'm like thinking about if you want to get, if you're, if you want to create an opportunity in your life, but you are missing the experience, then you're going to need to say, what are the steps I need to take so I can get that experience? So a year or two or three from now, I can be where I need to be. You have to think long term. If you want short term, quick wins, it's probably never going to happen for you. You gotta be willing to put in the effort and to take the steps to get the right experience.
- [10:15]
B
Sure.
- [10:16]
A
Secondly, you're thinking about, I want to create this opportunity. I don't have those skills. You know, you need to invest in yourself. You need to figure out, well, how am I going to learn about AI if I don't know anything about AI? How am I going to spend my nights and my weekends doing that? Instead of going out to dinner, instead of having a night of Netflix, how can I take that two hours and invest in myself? The biggest thing that holds people back is not having the right time to put in to learn the skills that they need. So if you want to Create an opportunity for yourself. You might need the experience which I just talked about, or you need to get the skills you need to invest in yourself. And I always talk about Erica. We've never been in a greater time to be alive.
- [11:00]
B
I agree.
- [11:01]
A
YouTube is for free. Podcasts are for free. Learning from someone is for free. So how can you take advantage of that? How can you take advantage of, like, spending your time doing things that are meaningful for you, even if it's learning how to play piano or bake, cook cupcakes or play paddle? Like, what is it that you want to learn? Are you actually nurturing that side of your life? Because when you do, you can build new relationships, you can learn new skills, and you can go from being a waiter to being a creator. And then you get that confidence because you learn something that you didn't think you knew you could do. And that's what the difference is, is you don't have that confidence. A lot of people come to me and say, well, I don't have your confidence to do it. I'm like, confidence come from taking action.
- [11:47]
B
It's definitely the. The reverse. It's a reverse.
- [11:50]
A
Like, you don't just wake up being confident. I'm just not wake up. But I'm like, when I get experience or when I try something and I crush it, then I get confident. So you have to put yourself in really uncomfortable positions to see if you can do something or not.
- [12:03]
B
Yep, definitely. And whenever I have, I find, like, I don't know, life kind of goes in seasons, Right. And I'll have a season where I'm doing a few uncomfortable things and I'm thinking about the week ahead and I'm feeling all those things. Like, no matter how confident you think I am, I'm a human. And I get uncomfortable and I get nervous about things.
- [12:20]
A
Same.
- [12:20]
B
But when I'm looking at that week, I'm thinking, can you imagine on the other side of that week, like the. The tools or the. I call them my cookies in my cookie jar of, like, things I've done that I can sit and I'm building my foundation on, you know, so you have to. You have to create those opportunities.
- [12:35]
A
Yeah. I mean, thinking about it, Erica, like, we, We. We spend so much time, you know, setting goals and working hard to achieve them. How much time do we send spend celebrating them or looking back to reflect and say, you know what? Especially, like, if you're one of those people, like on Sundays who you set your intentions for the week or you sit and do your priorities of what you want to get done that week. Do you ever go back on Friday and go and high five yourself that you got that stuff done or that you had a great week or something came up that change whole schedule but you still crushed. Anyway, like I feel like we need to also celebrate definitely our achievements because like no one's waking up clapping for us. We need to really think about like you know what, I did something extraordinary this week.
- [13:18]
B
Yeah.
- [13:18]
A
Or I got through this week. Or no problems this week. Like that's small wins are the small things.
- [13:23]
B
Are the big things a hundred percent. Before when you mentioned like, you know, obviously when you're reverse engineering you're thinking about what the gap is and then you need to create the time to do it. This is also made me think of something I love talking about which is doing a time audit.
- [13:37]
A
Yes.
- [13:38]
B
Now for anyone that hasn't done this before, I'll put a link. I did a very quick talk on it. It's free, comes with like a PDF because I'm very like pen to paper type of person. Need to see it.
- [13:50]
A
Yeah, same.
- [13:50]
B
Literally just do the most basic audit of your week where you time track everything you do and you will see how much time you have and having, you know, I think you have to. It's like calorie counting. You do it once and then you have that knowledge rough of how to have that awareness on a normal basis.
- [14:07]
A
How much time you're spending on what exactly.
- [14:10]
B
And it's. I've kind of have this motto at the moment because I have so many ambitions and I have a newborn baby so like my priority and where I'm spending my time is like extra important. I can't afford to not be, to not be picky with my time. It's just that simple. Like I really can't afford if I'm scrolling and you know, I think there's a place for entertainment and switching off but when you're scrolling for the sake of scrolling and you're just wasting time, like I can't afford to be doing that right now because if I want to be a hands on mum and achieve the things I want to achieve, like I just have to be so stringent with who I'm saying yes to, what kind of networking, coffees I'm doing like all these things like you have to be very careful with and curated with in line with your vision. And like you said, if you're reverse engineering what opportunity you want to create, it gives you this really beautiful like parameter of what you're saying. Yes and no to. So I wanted to ask you, how do you actually, you've already kind of indicated that you're a lot like me. Sunday is like a rule planning day. Can you just me through some ways that you actually manage your time?
- [15:10]
A
Yeah. So first of all, I love the fact that you do a time audit, so I'm definitely interested in looking at that PDF. So Sunday nights I want to set myself up for the week, right. I don't want to walk into my work week without kind of thinking through what are the big things I need to get done this week, putting together my to do list. So on Monday morning I'm not stressed or anxious about what I need to get done for the week. Like, I really. That hour on Sunday nights sets me up for success for the week.
- [15:37]
B
That's the real golden hour.
- [15:38]
A
It's really Sunday night, like 8 o'. Clock. I want to make sure I get everything and then I'm free of thinking through the to do list because then you go to bed with it and then you're thinking about it when you're in bed and all this kind of stuff. So that's the first thing is I set my kind of priorities and my intentions for the week on Sunday night every week. Second, I have on Wednesdays what I call no meeting. Wednesdays I have one day a week where I just need to think and I need to like, catch up on whatever work I want to catch up or phone calls I want to make. I don't want to be in meetings. That's what I want to do. My deep thinking work and the work that I need midweek. And so like I'll do Mondays. I do teams with meetings with my team to talk to every single member of my company about what they're working on, what they're doing. And it sends a signal that the first day of the week is the most important thing for to me is them. So I want to make sure I focus on spending time with them on Mondays, especially with my teams and then we meet with different clients. But I think that hack of me having Wednesdays clear is something that Sunday night planning and Wednesdays clear has been a big game changer for me. So I know, like, I don't have meetings. So then people know for my team if they need to talk to me, they can reach me. I'm not in a meeting. I need to do deep work or I need to do thinking or there's something, an article I want to write or some strategy I want to work on. I just don't need interruptions because it's easy to be so distracted and multitask between your computer and your notifications on your phone. And so it's a lot. And so I really try to like, how do I carve out and protect my time? And then I always make sure I look at my schedule. Like how much time am I spending doing social things and relationships because those are super important. And I always make sure that I'm, you know, not having to like, leave my work to do it on the weekend. Right. Because that also dumps into your weekend. Your brain needs a rest. You need to rest, you need to reset. And so I think a lot about that when I look at my schedule. Another thing that I do is my mornings from 5 to 8 are mine. To work out, to journal, to go for a walk, to start my day with my health. And I just don't book any meetings during that window. And just making sure that I take that time. Last year I changed my schedule to start my day at 5 versus 6am and that one hour has been a huge difference.
- [17:55]
B
Well, compounding an hour every day, that adds up.
- [17:57]
A
Yeah. And just like to have that quiet time for myself to do what I want to do do, whether it's watching a sports show or walking on the treadmill or going outside or doing something, you know, obviously going to the gym. But I feel like just carving out the time for yourself. It sets my intention, my role for.
- [18:14]
B
The day very aligned in a lot of the things you've done. Except I, I've. I've heard people talk about like having no meeting windows but not a full day. And I actually really appreciate that because I've often. I have the most energy in the morning. Right. So I've often experimented with like, I'm going to do the first half of the day with no meetings. But what I've found honestly is if I know I've got a meeting in the afternoon, it sort of weighs on my mind.
- [18:39]
A
It's in your head.
- [18:40]
B
It's like this lingering thing I've got later and it's like I'm dreading it. Yeah. So I actually think having a full day, schedule permitting would actually be really, really good.
- [18:50]
A
Yeah.
- [18:50]
B
Because meetings are very disruptive and I think they can also be very time wasting. So just, just being very intentional with like when those are set in your schedule and allocating like time for deep thinking is amazing. Sunday planning is something I do as well. I then go in and because, you know, I can put a perfect plan for the week but then stuff happens. Things are urgent, you get random requests you weren't anticipating. So I go in every night. Like the last thing I do before I close my laptop and like switch off for the day is I'll do like what's the item or the agenda for tomorrow? So I kind of just revisit it.
- [19:24]
A
Your to do list for the next day? Yeah, I do that too.
- [19:26]
B
Yeah, like every night I'll just reassess it because sometimes there's unexpected things or I might actually not want to do X, Y, Z tomorrow and push it back. Like it just helps me sort of be on top of it as well as the Sunday overarching plan.
- [19:40]
A
Did you ever learn about the Franklin Covey system? Is that where you learned that?
- [19:43]
B
No, but tell me about it.
- [19:45]
A
Franklin Covey was 7 Habits for Highly effective people. He used to do this thing called the Franklin Planner and that's kind of where I learned that habit where on Sundays I do my things for the week, but like on Monday I'll have a to do list and if I didn't finish it then before I close my day, I put it on my to do list for Tuesday. It was very old school, it was in the 80s. But that's a system that he used the Franklin Planner of. Like how you think about your priorities and your tasks and you move them so that you close your day, you don't take it to bed with you, you don't take it into your evening that you close that, it's already the next morning you wake up and it's all good to go. I think a big, I mean, I love the fact that you, you highlighted that, you know that taking that time off to time block your schedule to do that audit, people be surprised about where they spend their time.
- [20:32]
B
I was shocked when I did.
- [20:33]
A
And it's like sometimes you're like, oh, I'm volunteering too much or I'm mentoring too much, or I'm spending time, you know, doing a lot of things for other people. What am I doing for myself or what am I doing for my team? Or you really gotta audit your time because you don't really know about it. It's like that food journaling, like you don't know where you're eating or where those calories go. I think it's so important.
- [20:51]
B
Yeah. I mean anyone who's got the thought, I just don't have enough time. Like you need to do this because you can still be busy and have a very full on schedule. But if you're intentional with where your time's going. It's simply a matter of that. That can't fit into my schedule right now. It's not that I don't have time for it, it just doesn't fall in the priorities of where I need to put my energy right now. So I think that simple language shift comes from kind of being in control.
- [21:15]
A
Awareness.
- [21:15]
B
Yeah, awareness. That's actually a better way to put it. In the book you talk about, I think this, from what I see, is this incredible opportunity you had to work with the Prime Minister of Egypt and you were actually personally selected to kind of be his right hand woman for communications. And I'd love to know in that moment when you were asked to be involved in that kind of role, how did you feel? Because I know in the book you talk a little bit about, but can you really walk us through how you felt and how you navigated that?
- [21:48]
A
Yeah, I mean, I tell this at the opening story of the book about the Prime Minister of Egypt asking me to write his speeches. And I'm like, I'm not a speechwriter and I know nothing about Egyptian public policy or government work. That's not what I do. I did corporate communications. I did PR for the Coca Colas and the P&GS and the Googles and the Netflix of the world. I didn't do it for government officials and let alone write policy speeches or keynote speeches. But the thing and I tell the story that I think a lot of people who are listening will resonate with is sometimes in life you're gonna be asked to do something that you've never been asked to do it before. And so your first response is, I don't know how to do that. I don't do that. And what I learned was when I was forced to in a situation to learn how to do something I'd never done before, I figured it out and I actually did it and I wrote a great speech and then I became his speechwriter for many, many years. And then I was like, I guess I'm a speechn. But the message of the story is you don't know what you're capable of because you just haven't been asked yet. And I didn't think I knew how to do it until I was asked to do it. And then I was like, huh, I know how to do this. Because if you rely on yourself, your knowledge, your wisdom, your ability to work hard, your ability to ask the right questions, your ability to be resourceful, your ability to focus, your ability to put in effort, all of those Things you have, and you don't know you have them because you were never forced to call them up. But when I was forced to call them up, I was able to focus and be resourceful and ask the right questions and put in effort and lean into my expertise and come up with some creative ideas. All these things that I never thought I was gonna be able to do. And I feel like so many of us that are listening to this right now, like, you're like, I don't do that. I can't do that. I've never. I mean, I wanna do that, but I've never done that before. Put yourself in the situation to try to do it, because that's where the learning comes from. That's where the growth comes from. That's where your confidence will grow from that experience. And even if you do it and fail, you're also going to learn something. Failure is not the opposite of success. Failure is part of success.
- [24:08]
B
It's very, very true. And it's crazy because you do think. You know, if you're aspiring to do things other people have done, you always forget, because you're comparing your day one to their day 1000, you forget that they were in a position once where it was their first podcast, where it was the first time they wrote a speech for the prime minister, where it was the first time that they ran a board meeting. And so you forget that they were in a position once where they had to be resourceful and rely on themselves. Like, now they've got that skill, they've got that knowledge, they've built that expertise.
- [24:39]
A
Yeah. I mean, I also was just terrified, what if I mess this up, are they gonna kick me out of the country? Like, I don't wanna be blacklisted for making a mistake or doing something not understanding the cultural nuances or. I mean, it was terrifying. It was like a government official. It's, it's. It's not easy to mess that up. But because the stakes were so high, I took it so seriously and I really pushed myself to think about what I need to do to. To, to successfully deliver this piece of work.
- [25:06]
B
I wonder, like, how it would change people's experience if they looked at opportunities not as. Am I already qualified to do this based on my experience and my current skills versus can I do this? Because I know I'm resourceful, I know I can ask the right questions, and I know that I'll put in the work.
- [25:27]
A
Erica, the market has changed so much right now that nobody cares about your education or your job title or Your experience. They care about your skills, your effort, your tenacity, your adaptability, your agility, your willingness to put in effort. Those are the skills that matter. Those are the skills that transfer in any industry. It used to be that where you went to school determined who you were going to become. That's not true anymore. We've leveled the playing field. The Internet has leveled the playing field. Everybody has access. You don't know to go to Stanford or Harvard to get access to information that can make you smart. You have to be willing to work hard and put in effort and to trust yourself.
- [26:13]
B
I think this is a very, it's a very important conversation with where the world is going, because I was actually having this conversation with someone the other day about something as simple like ChatGPT. And even like I went to school, I finished school 10 years ago, not that long ago, but had we had chatgpt, how different my schooling experience would have been. All of this to say, anyone can know anything these days. Your worth is no longer measured by. I mean, I'm going to carve out certain professions that, that maybe is a little bit more niche or in research and at the cutting edge of things. But generally speaking, you can ask ChatGPT anything. You can learn anything from the Internet. What you know no longer is your strongest skill set. And like you said, and what I found leaving kind of a more strictly corporate setting, moving into consulting. Not a single person that I onboarded as a client asked me to see my resume. Not a single person. For all they knew, I could have been practicing for six months.
- [27:12]
A
Do you know, do you know what matters more than what you know?
- [27:16]
B
Tell me.
- [27:17]
A
Your reputation. Your reputation is what will open doors for you. Your reputation is what will help you build relationships. Relationships are the currency.
- [27:26]
B
It is.
- [27:27]
A
Relationships is not about what you know. They always say it's not about what you know, but who you know. If you have the ability to build a strong relationship with multiple people, and I talk about putting deposits in people's trust banks, you will have a good reputation. And when you have a good reputation, that means people trust you. And when people trust you, they will recommend you. And the more hands you shake, the more opportunities you will make, the more money you will make. And I really believe that anybody with a strong reputation who really is intentional about how they show up, how they treat people, are they kind? Are they nice? Are they helpful? Are they resourceful? Are they smart? Are they a go getter? Are they a good listener? Are they a good resourceful? Are they somebody I can Depend on, are they loyal? That's what matters. And with the world of AI coming into everyone's homes and living rooms and worlds and lives, what's going to be the difference is the lived experience and your reputation 100%. We live in a trust economy. It doesn't matter how much influence you have or how many followers you have. Do people actually trust you? That's what's the key.
- [28:41]
B
How does someone go about, you know, if someone's listening and they haven't been paying much attention to, let's just say, their network, you know, we. You always, you always hear. It's not what you know, it's who you know. Yeah. I want to take it one step further because it's great. You can know a lot of people, but how do you actually leverage that network? How do you create value within that network? How do you stand out? Because, you know, I can tell you now, I've had so many meetings, I don't remember what every single person does. Right. How do, how do you become a standout? So that person remembers, oh, this is Mahan. She does X, Y, Z. And I'm going to remember her and call her for this thing. Okay. Whether you're in business or in a career, like, okay, how do you do that?
- [29:19]
A
I love this, by the way. I do a lot of coaching on how to build relationships. Yeah. Because it's the key. Right? So let me start with basics. First things first, I'm going to walk you through a lot of steps here. First of all, I want you to think about you. You have to build your reputation, your relationships and network online and offline. Okay, so how are you networking online? Let's start there. Do you have a solid LinkedIn profile? LinkedIn is not a place to go for jobs. Rethink it. That is where the business community and networking takes place. I want you to have a good profile picture on your LinkedIn. That's just you, not you as somebody else. Just a very clear photo of you. That banner, that's a real estate. Use it to talk about who you are. It's a thumbnail, but you can put even slides. Now you can add different things put under your title. Don't just put your job title, put multiple titles. Keynote speaker, podcaster, authority, passionate trainer, whatever your other titles are, build that. I want people when they Google you, that they find what you put there. So if you want to be good at networking, I want you to Bingle. Your first step is how do you network online? You're going to start with LinkedIn. You're going to get a nice clean page. You're going to build a good profile. You're going to talk about who you are, what you love to do. You are going to spend every day, you're going to put it on your calendar. Remember we talked about our time audit? Put on your calendar 15 minutes a day. 15 minutes a day. I want you to put on your calendar networking on LinkedIn. Now here's what networking on LinkedIn looks like. You're going to spend time commenting on other people's posts, high fiving people, sharing their work, engaging with other people's work. That's you showing up, networking online. You might send DMs, you might tell people you're interested in their work, that you want to meet them. Don't be one of Those people on LinkedIn who sends a message saying, I'd like to set up a networking coffee with you. Nobody has time for that at scale, right? You need to be specific. Build a relationship, follow them, understand what they talk about, see what they care about. And if you build a relationship with them over time by following them, always showing up for them online, then you're going to be listening enough to know, oh, they care about this. Oh, I saw a really interesting article, now I'm going to DM them saying, hey, I saw you posted about this, I saw this and I thought of you. Something memorable, something to make a connection, something to have a common ground. You know, everybody's on LinkedIn gets these crazy DMs, you know, selling you stuff, you hate it, right? Don't be that person, hey, here's the software.
- [31:59]
B
Can we.
- [31:59]
A
And if you do want to talk to them and you do want to have a meeting with them and you really do think you have something of value to offer them, I want you to DM them with something specific. I'd like to get 5 minutes of your time to discuss X. And here is my number and email. So that tells you three things. One, you're asking for five minutes, you're giving a very specific ask. Two, you're telling them what it is exactly you want to talk to them about so that they know you're not like being vague so that they can make a decision. Three, you're giving them your number in your email first. You're not saying send me your email. You're giving them the power so that they can reach out to you or that they can contact you. You're not being pushy. So when I think about how I want you to build relationships online, it's a long game. It's a, it's a long term play of you showing up for people consistently over time. And then once you feel like you have built relationships, you've connected socially, you've commented on their post, you've engaged with their work, then you can go in and ask for something, or you can ask to meet them. The second thing online that you can do if you're gonna be going to event. A lot of people go to events, say that you're gonna be in an event so that other people who might be going know that you will be there. Say, hey, I'm gonna be at this event. If you're gonna be there, let me know. You're basically calling out saying I also wanna meet you if you're there. And you'll be surprised at how many people who might be at that same event might message you. Or you can message them to see if you can meet at that event. The most important thing when building your network, especially when you're doing it offline like in real life, is to go prepared or to be prepared. So let's say you want to learn how to network at an event. Don't just go into the event cold. I want you to study the website. I want you to look at what talks you're going to go to. I want you to look to see the location so you can map it out to know exactly where you need to be and what you need to do. And then I want you to make a list of the top five people you want to meet at that event.
- [34:00]
B
That's it.
- [34:02]
A
Don't aim to collect business cards like confetti. Be intentional about what you're going to do at that event and who you need to meet. Now that you have a list of who you want to meet and you know exactly what you want to do when you go there before you go to the event. I want you to think, when someone asks me what do I do? Or what's my story? What's my line going to be? I don't want to be making it up on the fly. I might have anxiety, I might not know what I want to talk about. I want to have a thing ready to go of what is the one thing I want people to know about me or what's the one thing I want them to walk away from after they meet me. Be prepared. So if you can be practicing what you're going to talk about before you get there, it'll probably land and deliver much better. Networking and building your relationships doesn't happen online. You can scale it online. It happens in real life when you can look somebody in the eye, when you can tell them a story, when you can show them your warmth, when you can communicate and connect individually. That's what matters. And so I want you to think about being intentional about who do you want to network with? What do you want them to know about you and what's the follow up and follow through. So many people will go meet somebody at an event, take that business card, and then you're done. That's not networking.
- [35:22]
B
I've been to so many events where I literally am like early on where I was just collecting like business cards, like confetti and then they go in the bottom of my bag or maybe save it in my phone. And then I'm like, what does that person do again? Or I remember I met someone that does this, but I can't remember who. Right. And that is not useful. Like spraying and praying is not.
- [35:39]
A
Yeah, not at all. Not useful at all.
- [35:41]
B
So I have two questions. The first one is I think more people are careerists than entrepreneurs that would listen to this show. That's my hunch. People who work for somebody else. And I think traditionally speaking, the value in networking is seen as less important for someone like them than someone who's an entrepreneur. Because you apply for jobs, you go through hr, like, what do you really need to network for? That was at least my perception. And so my question to you is for a careerist who is looking to progress, their. Maybe they don't even want to leave their company, right? They just maybe want to add value to their life and their profession and their the space they're operating in. What kinds of people should they be networking with if they don't have something specific that they're looking for?
- [36:30]
A
So you have a career, you work at a company, you are in a secure situation. You have a job, you have a title, you have benefits, you work for a company. Why do you need to build your reputation? Why do you need to build your relationships? Because you have everything you need. Well, you're wrong. If you want to get promoted in that company, if you want to get better opportunities in that company, if you want to increase your salary in that company, if you want career mobility within that company, you need to know how to build your relationships and build allies and create value for them and build your reputation. Are you a hard worker? Are you a good listener? Are you a team player? Are you difficult to work with? What are the words people would use to describe you? You're going to need to know how to build relationships and allies within that organization. And that's why you need to build your reputation or your personal brand within that company. I think a lot of people, your title and your name kind of travel together when you work at a company. But you want to take those skills to transfer them anywhere. You might not be at that company forever. That company might wake up and lay you off one day. So you need to have relationships. I know somebody who is working for this company for 25 years and so they're like, I don't need to build any relationships. And then when they left that company, they're like, I spent all my time doing my job. I forgot to focus on my career.
- [37:52]
B
And so back to that self reliance.
- [37:54]
A
Yeah. You have to learn how to build relationships for yourself. So you're not relying on your employer to give you that opportunity or your friends or family. I want you to have the skills to rely on yourself to know how to build networks and relationships. And networking is not about. I have a network now. I can ask them for favors. It's the exact opposite. You need to add value to your network so that they bring you into theirs. How do you nurture it? Showing up for them, checking in with them, celebrating them, supporting them, connecting them to other people. Being a super connector. That's a beautiful way to network with people. Omaha always add value. She introduces me to people. She sees things about my business and she sends me helpful information. She's not just coming to me when she wants something. I always think about it and I always talk about it as making a deposit in someone's trust bank. Your job, if you want to be good at networking, is to put as many deposits in people's trust banks as possible.
- [38:52]
B
Love that.
- [38:53]
A
One day you might make a withdrawal, but one day you may not. And don't you want to feel good walking around life knowing that a lot of people. You put deposits in many people's trust banks along the way.
- [39:05]
B
100%. And it's also that. It's also true that you could spend all this time depositing to someone's trust bank. They themselves may not be the person that you end up doing something with or exactly. But they will connect you to somebody else or they will be able to open another door for you. Not directly, maybe indirectly. That's what I've learned as I've kind of gone on my consulting journey and been forced to sort of reach out of my network and have a different perspective on. I don't need to network. I Have a kind of career, sort of just being promoted, going through the ranks type approach. You don't know what you don't know. So even if you're not interested in leaving the company, simply meeting other people and saying, actually they're earning twice what I'm earning at my company or they've got these kinds of benefits, let me see if I can have a conversation about, you know, you just don't know what you don't know. And so that is so valuable even if you're not looking for something specific, you know. The second thing I wanted to ask you that I think will be very useful for people is that one liner.
- [40:05]
A
Yeah. What do you say about yourself?
- [40:07]
B
How do you craft that without being boring?
- [40:10]
A
Yeah, I think it's, it's asking yourself a question. Or ask somebody who you know and trust. Like what are three words you would use to describe me?
- [40:17]
B
Nice.
- [40:18]
A
So that you can get that feedback. You have to have that one lighter ready. You have to know who you are. Because if you don't believe in yourself, why would you expect anybody else to believe in you? So think about it like I'm a communications executive. I'm a storyteller. I help people build their influence. Like what is the thing? Like I help unlock this. Or I'm a creative. You have to know how to describe yourself to somebody because we live in a world today where you can't afford not to be able to do that. You have to be good at communications. We live in a 24, 7 digital world. And if you don't know how to communicate, you're going to be left behind. It's true. On the, on just, on the last piece that we were talking about, the networking and adding value to your network and thinking about that, think about the most meaningful relationships in your life.
- [41:06]
B
Personal or professional.
- [41:08]
A
Personal or professional.
- [41:09]
B
Yeah.
- [41:10]
A
And, and what Follow up is required to keep those relationships. It's the same thing that you need to do. You need to think about the follow up and the follow through is key. Like are you checking in on them, are you talking to them afterwards? Are you adding value to them? Like really making sure that your network is not just a bunch of business cards on the shelf. So when you want one, you can just go grab one and ask for a favor, nurture it and build it and takes time to do that.
- [41:37]
B
Yeah. And actually if you extract that piece of wisdom and you think about the relationship, your personal relationships, friendships, family, whatever that have not worked out, that have sort of faded away. Yeah. The effort that went into those if that's the effort you're putting into your professional relationships, it's no wonder they're not, you know, it's not a value network for you. You have like. I really like that actually approaching as you would your relationship with. Maybe not your best friend, you don't want to be calling them every day with your problems, but still. But you know, someone you care about, not just like an acquaintance that you're just trying to. I think it's very easy to feel like I'm. I'm really like an intention and energy kind of person. And I really think that transl online as well. Like, I promise when I get a LinkedIn message and I'm really good, like I actually reply to as many emails as I can. As many DMs, like I, I don't just delete. Yeah things like I really do genuinely try and reply to as many people, but those ones that are really genuine, like, I'll tell a story. Actually, the guy who helps me out with my social media, I get emails all the time, every single day about YouTube thumbnails, about crafting my blog posts, about managing my social media promising me hundreds of millions of views. You know, I get emails all the time. What this guy did that made him stand out, he sent me a video on Instagram through a DM of him introducing himself on camera and just talking about how he came across my podcast and what value he thought he could add and just let me know if I wanted to jump on a call. And I just simple, to the point.
- [43:05]
A
Personal through a video, told you what it is, gave you the option to contact him.
- [43:11]
B
It was so different to everyone else's approach. You know, I get so many emails too that are signed off off with like the chat GPT, like insert name here, like they're not even finished. Or you know, just like, you can tell it's hasn't been crafted for me. It's just like a spray and pray approach. But his approach really made him stand out and I've been working with him for over a year. He's amazing. If he's listening to this. You are amazing. But that really stood out. And I think intention and energy is not limited. It's of course valuable in person, but it does translate online. And I think you'd be better off sending one message a week that's intentional than 20.
- [43:46]
A
This is 20. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Not about the quality, the quantity. It's about the quantity, quality of the relationship. So that's. I'm like go to an event, pick five people you want to meet, set out intentions for like this year. I want to meet five people and really build my relationship with those five companies or those five people. You don't need to have, everyone's busy. We can't have, we can't keep up with all of these demands in our lives and learn how to network and socialize and business take. What are the three or four companies or people that if I really got time to spend with them, could make a big difference for me a year from now. That's why I always talk about, and I talk about in the book about being a long term player. Like we're always into transactions. We want to like tap to pay and get out. We want to download the whole season now. Like we just are in this. If a video doesn't load in three seconds, we're bored, we're moving on. Right? Slow down, be intentional with people. Because if you are driving by to get something from them because you're climbing them to get something else, they will know, can feel it, you will hear, you will feel your reputation. Get hit by that. Don't do that.
- [44:50]
B
This is me giving advice to myself like five years ago when I didn't think something like this would be valuable in a career, corporate climbing ladder type job. And that is, it's just investing in yourself, like taking the time to meet other people, to learn from other people. It really teaches you so much. It shows you what else there is outside of your bubble, which is a very limited version of what the world is all about.
- [45:14]
A
Yeah, yeah, so true.
- [45:15]
B
And it's just the best investment you can make in yourself. So definitely something to do. And I want to challenge everyone listening to think about two or three things you can do from this last 15, 20 minute segment we've just had on networking that you can implement as of this week or next week that is going to help add value to your network because I promise you, it's literally just changed my life doing that. And I guarantee, I can almost personally guarantee to everyone that it will change their life too, if you do it on a consistent basis. At the end of the day, not every single coffee, not every single conversation you have is gonna be a breadcrumb that leads to something else. But whenever I go to these events or I'm putting in some intention, I always say I need one breadcrumb. If I have seven conversations, I need, need, I'd like one breadcrumb. Whether it's a learning a lesson, something I didn't know A piece of knowledge, a contact to somebody else, maybe a follow up meeting. It's just one thing that sort of like creates momentum. Right. It's just keeping those breadcrumbs going and eventually you just land in places, in rooms and in conversations with people you didn't even know.
- [46:21]
A
Yeah. So I, I talk a lot about, in the book about how to do it. I also have like a free PDF on my website too, Networking Pro. Like I'll send it to you so you, you can link it and share.
- [46:29]
B
It to the next. Amazing, amazing. Thank you so much, Erica. Okay, last question from me. Yes. So you brought Netflix out to the MENA region. You were part of the team?
- [46:37]
A
Yeah, part of that, yeah, the communications team.
- [46:40]
B
Tell me what that involved because that sounds like a really interesting opportunity.
- [46:43]
A
Well, the network. So it's funny, Netflix was only in the US and then I think it was 2013 or 2014 where all of a sudden it turned on to 130 countries around the world.
- [46:56]
B
World.
- [46:57]
A
And a lot of the library was just us content. Orange is the New Black House of Cards, Narcos. Those are the big shows. Stranger Things. Those are the big shows back in the day that were on Netflix, that were the blockbuster hits. Obviously a lot has changed since then, but anyways. And Netflix had been sending different executives to the Middle East. They were headquartered, their headquarters are in Amsterdam. Their European headquarters are Amsterdam Jam. So they would send executives, you know, like, hey, we're looking at the Middle east market, we're looking at the region. So they would come on business and I would just like meet them for dinners and you know, talk to them about like Ramadan is the biggest viewing period. It's when everyone watches television serials. It's like the super bowl. Every day, 30 days, people are watching their shows and it's advertising is a huge advertising season during Ramadan. And talked about some of the cultural moments, talked about Arabic content. So it was like sprinkled. It was like a breadcrumb strategy of me networking with them for probably two years of them coming into the market, having meetings and leaving. All this kind of stuff.
- [48:02]
B
Long game. We love it.
- [48:03]
A
Long term. Yeah. And then they decided they were going to launch in the Middle east and so they wanted a communication strategy. And so I reported to the team in Amsterdam and we launched Netflix in the Middle East. We actually did this super cool experience. I have the video, I can share it with you. At El so Cal Avenue where we took this huge warehouse and we recreated the sets from some of the biggest shows. And so people could walk through the experience. So they walked through the living room of Stranger Things. They ended up the crown. The story about Queen Elizabeth. They were in England. They walked through the crown. They could put the crown on. Then they walked through a live kitchen and chef's table and like, it had like, we had a live chef, chef doing cooking for a chef's table. We ended up at the House of Cards. Like, we did a bunch of different things. So people got to experience the brand firsthand and meet some of the key people from the company that were there at the time. And, and then Arab. They slowly started like, you know, really investing in the region, investing in Arabic content, investing in subtitling everything in Arabic and working with Arabic creators. And it took off from there.
- [49:13]
B
There. That's amazing.
- [49:14]
A
Yeah.
- [49:15]
B
So being the communications manager, what was your actual role? Like? What did, what did you specifically look after?
- [49:22]
A
So I, I, they had hired my company. I wasn't an employee of Netflix. My basically just doing all the communications, talking about the shows, launching the shows. We would take a lot of press from the Middle east to the set of a show to watch them film. It wasn't Bridgerton. What was the other English show that was big at the time? I can't remember what it was called anyways. But we were like, send people to, like, send the media to go on the set of some of these shows. We would do all the announcements for the shows. We would help talk about some of the storytelling, some of the content creation, some of the things they were doing to invest in local creators, that type of thing.
- [49:58]
B
Really cool. I always love, you know, when, when there's a. When I meet someone who's doing a job that's like so far outside of my remit of what I do every day. It's always so interesting to me. Like, but what do you actually do? You know, you, like, have friends that are like, oh, yeah, I'm a consultant for this. I do finance. Like, what do you actually, Maha, I'm gonna put a link to your book. Yes. This one here rules the seven Rules of Self Reliance. I'm almost through it. As I was telling you before, my baby's had a bit of a week, but I've read most of it and it really was a game changer for me. It aligns with so much of the growth I've had. It really cemented, like, a lot of the things I have come to on my own. But I think if I had had this like five years ago, it would have fast tracked a lot of that learning Experience obviously is important, but I'm gonna put a link to this. It's available on Amazon. It is a must read if you ask me. I'm slowly compiling like a list of books that I might end up sharing one day but that are like must reads for everybody and reads you might come back to, like once every few years. And I will put this on there.
- [50:56]
A
Yeah.
- [50:57]
B
Because it really aligned with me. So as a bonus and a rapid fire to end it off, can you quickly share the seven rules of self reliance?
- [51:05]
A
So the first one is stay low, keep moving. So you need to stay focused. Stay low, not low profile. Stay focused on what you care about. There's so many distractions in life. How can you stay low, stay focused and keep moving? Rule number two is be a value creator. People will want you in their lives if you are creating value for them. What can you do to create value for your friends, your family and people you care about at work? Number three, don't be a waiter, which we talked about a lot in the show. How you can be a creator, not wait for the opportunities because you think you deserve them, but to go out and grab them yourself. Rule number four, unlearn, relearn and invest in yourself. We talked about time auditing. How much time in your calendar is dedicated to investing in yourself? Please put on a podcast. Spend 10 minutes going for a walk, learning something. There's science behind learning and walking at the same time. Learn something and move your body. Number five is the biggest chapter in the book, how to build your personal brand. You need to think about your reputation. And that's why it's the biggest chapter in the book, because I give you the exact playbook on how to do it. Rule number six, be a long term player. This is a chapter all about networking. Don't be transactional. Nobody likes that. Think long term, add value, bring value to their relationships. And then last rule number seven is live with no regrets. Any struggles you're facing are part of your story. Turn those struggles into strengths, turn your setbacks into comebacks. Don't regret and walk around with that baggage. Life is too short. Or take your bull by the hands and try to create the life you want.
- [52:36]
B
Amazing. Well, that's like already so much value for everybody listening. But, but truthfully, like, unpacking it in detail, especially if like a particular one of those has resonated, will be worth your time. So, Maha, again, thank you and I would actually love to have you on for a part two. So for anybody listening, if there's anything that's come up for you that you would love to hear us chat more about any follow up questions, any lateral thoughts that you're like like I'd actually love them to dive into this. Let us know and we can organize a part two. Don't forget to like and subscribe if you've enjoyed this episode. Maha, thank you so much. I'm so grateful to be here. Next time. Thank you.
- [53:26]
C
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