← The Balance Theory
The Balance Theory
She Finally Stopped Fighting Ageing & Did THIS Instead — Here’s What Happened Next
00:44:24
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- [00:00]
Louisa Dunn
Do I want to get up every day and criticize what I see in the mirror? Oh, I feel like I'm getting left behind and it is very hard to feel like you're getting left behind. Today's guest is Louisa Dunn. After eight years behind the camera and 10 years in marketing, Louisa felt inspired to step back in front of the camera to be part of the age positive message she wanted to see in the industry. She has grown over 1 million followers across her platforms, championing authenticity and empowerment.
- [00:28]
Podcast Host
I'm very honored to say that this is her first podcast ever. This feels highly exclusive. I do feel we live in a time where a lot of the media, a lot of the products, it's kind of like, how do you stop that? How do you reverse it? It's a lot of the conversation.
- [00:44]
Louisa Dunn
I had had enough of just dyeing my roots because no woman wants to look older because our value is associated so closely with our ability to look younger. If something's there to make a change, then it becomes this normalised thing and then it becomes expected. If I really am wanting to treat my body, you know, better, then I need to start questioning why I'm doing these things.
- [01:09]
Podcast Host
If you had to make a universal lesson or rule that we taught young women about aging, what would it be? All right. Balances. Today we are in the Pivotal Conversation Studio on the Gold coast and I'm joined by a woman who I find incredibly inspiring and one I'm really excited to chat to today. A little bit about her. After eight years behind the camera and 10 years in marketing, she felt inspired to step back in front of the camera to be a part of an age positive message that she wanted to see herself in the industry as a pro age and fashion inclusivity advocate. She's grown over 1 million followers on her platform and there's very good reason for it. I am one of those 1 million. She's a sought after expert in age positive space and she champions authenticity and empowerment. Age is a conversation. I'm now 29. It's something I'm leaning into and starting to think about a lot more. I think there's a lot of rhetoric and expectation and I think you are a beautiful symbol for younger women. And just to open up that conversation. And on top of that, I'm very honored to say that this is her first podcast ever. This feels highly exclusive. It's my pleasure to welcome Louisa Dunn to the Balance Theory. Louisa, warm welcome.
- [02:31]
Louisa Dunn
Thank you so much. It's really great to be here and great to try and sort of do something a little bit out of my comfort zone.
- [02:37]
Podcast Host
So yeah, absolutely. Well, I'm really excited to chat to you and to hear more about what we see kind of on social media. Although I do think you share a lot, I think this is going to take us that one bit deeper. So I'm really excited. My first question to you is what did you want to be growing up? Was modeling kind of always something in the cards and I did a bit of marketing. But what did you actually want to be when you were younger?
- [03:00]
Louisa Dunn
So when I was going back to when we were kind of starting to figure out what you enjoyed, it was always art and the creativity of photography and fashion. So when I was in school, photography was a big thing that captured my attention. So I picked up a camera at about 15 and for about three years I photographed my friends. I loved people, so I always loved taking portraits and involving my friends and including fashion in that as well. So then when I was deciding how could I then kind of push that into a career, I thought about doing either photography or fashion. That didn't work because even though I did actually do well in high school, the colleges had very limited intakes at that time. And my careers counselor had said, well, I think you need to maximize what you do with your score and maybe look at architecture or psychology or something else. And I was a little bit confused for a year. So I went and did some other work. I actually went asparagus picking.
- [04:03]
Podcast Host
Oh yes, that's neat.
- [04:06]
Louisa Dunn
So I had a gap year and then I was a little bit confused. So I was one of those.
- [04:11]
Podcast Host
The asparagus didn't make it clear for you.
- [04:14]
Louisa Dunn
It was out in like out in, I think it was near Dubbo area. So it really got me physical and it was actually quite a great experience, to be honest. But that was in the stage of I really didn't know what to do. So I eventually found my way to a communications degree and so that way I entered into PR and marketing through that. So that was a four year degree and I went straight into PR, event management and then marketing for about 10 years. So what I wanted to do was more of a physical, I guess, manifestation of the creativity that I've always loved. But I ended up doing a more of a, you know, I guess a theoretical one where I went to work and I sort of marketed for other people. So I really enjoyed that. It was really good to try and I guess cut my teeth in an industry that was quite, you know, quite challenging. But my passion was always sitting back behind Me then I always knew that that was something that was egging me to go back to. So once I had worked in marketing for a while and I had my two children. That was when I had someone at work who had suggested to me that they had seen an article in a magazine that there was an agency in Brisbane that wanted mature models. So I thought, well, maybe I should just give it a crack. So I went into the agency and they took me on. And so I did part time modeling for about eight years along with doing part time marketing work. So that was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed that because it, it allowed me to try and step out of my comfort zone in terms of, you know, being on set in front of a whole lot of people. I've always been a little bit shy to, you know, to speak in front of crowds, that sort of thing. So it pushed me to try and develop those skills a bit more. And then I had done that for a while and then the call to go back to photography really had me. So when the children started school, I went back to college. So I was a college student at 39 and I did that for a year. And then I started my newborn photography business. For about eight years I did that and really, really loved that. And then by the time Covid hit, I had actually decided about 49 that I wanted to have a little bit of a change. I wasn't quite sure what that was. And that was when I decided to grow my natural hair out. I had had enough of just dying my roots, so that was kind of how I came back to modeling at 50.
- [06:54]
Podcast Host
Amazing.
- [06:54]
Louisa Dunn
Yeah.
- [06:55]
Podcast Host
You know what I love about your story? I didn't know a lot of that first of all, but what I love about your story is it highlights how multifaceted we are as humans. And I think at 18 years old, when you finish school, you don't know who you are. I mean, I look at my 20s, I'm on the end of my 20s now and I feel every year I'm kind of learning more about myself, who I am, what I enjoy. And it's of a part process. So to be in that point when you're 18 and be like, what am I going to do for the rest of my life? It's such a big ask.
- [07:23]
Louisa Dunn
It is.
- [07:24]
Podcast Host
But what I love about your story is it really highlights that you can kind of create these twists and turns and take your passion and evolve it and go back to study and go back to something like we sometimes think growth kind of looks like this, but Often. Often the time it's like, you know, you turn back, and then you go up a step, and then you flatline for a bit, and then you might drop down a bit.
- [07:42]
Louisa Dunn
You.
- [07:42]
Podcast Host
You know, like, it has so many different avenues, but it's all necessary to get you to where you want to be. I'm very interested to know. I mean, obviously, I'm. I mean, maybe it's not that obvious, but I'm very drawn to kind of your. How you've embraced aging. And my mom's actually quite similar, right? She was very natural, very. Just. What's the word? Authentic to who she is. And she's not trying to run from aging. But I do feel we live in a time where a lot of the media, a lot of the products, it's kind of like, how do you stop that? How do you reverse it? It's a lot of the conversation growing up, what were your kind of thoughts or ideas about aging? Was it something that was top of mind for you? What was the conversation around it?
- [08:28]
Louisa Dunn
I think it's just so different. You know, that was such a long time ago that I think it was before a lot of the pressures that we kind of surrounded with now where there wasn't really that media pressure, because it wasn't the access to the body modifications that really are starting to sort of put that pressure on people, that if something's there to make a change, then it becomes this normalized thing, and then it becomes expected. So the way I describe it is that hair dye, you know, wasn't around a certain number of years ago, and when it became normalized, it became expected that women dye their hair until a certain age, because that is just what you do. Because no woman wants to look older because our. Is associated so closely with our ability to look younger. So it's similar to eyeseed is other things that we've kind of gradually adapted to as saying, oh, well, we need to do this to our faces, and we need to do this to our bodies. And it becomes this whole cycle of. I got to a point where when I did decide to give up the dye, that was motivated from a sheer frustration of every two weeks having to dye my hair at the root. And, you know, that was the thing that instigated my whole kind of journey into challenging the things that weren't working for me. And that was the tipping point that actually helped me say to myself, you know, in my quiet moments when I was kind of looking in the mirror and I thought, do I want to get up every day? And Criticize what I see in the mirror. And that was the path that I was on because I felt like, oh, my gosh, the grays are coming through. I need to put the powder on. And in no way do I criticize other women and how they process that, because we're all so different in how we can process that. But I felt that the cycle of negativity was actually more harmful. And once I broke the cycle of, say, the die, it sort of opened up to. It was kind of opening a bit of a raw wound, too, because for many years, you know, I'd had people say, oh, you look young for your age, and this sort of thing, and then to flip and do a 360, or where I was visibly online and I was getting many comments about looking 10 years older. So if there's one way to really challenge yourself as to how much value you give, that was seeing that written a thousand times over. And because I had posted on TikTok, there was one that just really threw me down a tunnel of negativity. And so I had to sit with it and just say, but if I give it value, I have a choice to give it value. And I felt, well, if I give it value, that I'm letting something else control how I feel about myself. Because I felt okay. I felt all right in myself. I was adjusting to seeing a different person in front of the mirror. And so I thought, well, if you're really out there saying you don't care about other people's opinions, well, you really need to actually make it matter on the inside. So when I really sort of dug deep, which is hard because there is an enormous amount of pressure to feel like your value is linked to the way you look and your appearances. And, you know, having been working in the modeling industry, it's kind of like this irony of, well, that's what I'm doing for a job. How do I then turn up and say, well, I don't want to worry about my appearance, but it was just in the way that I wanted to be okay enough as it is. So when I had started with the hair, it really threw me down that path. And I thought, what else in my life am I doing? Not actually for me. So then I have. I had had Botox in my 40s, and so I did decide that that wasn't something that aligned with me anymore because I had questioned about all the side effects, and I had had some negative ones, some things that really didn't align with how I felt. A healthy way of aging for Me is because I feel like there are so many things that go wrong with our bodies as we age that we really can't help. Like, we can't help the joint pain, we can't help all these other things. And some of the side effects of taking in toxins is that you can get inflammation and you can get other things. So I thought, if I really am wanting to treat my body better, that I need to start questioning why I'm doing these things. So I thought, well, there's no real benefit if I'm okay with starting to see some wrinkles and lines. And so I did have to confront a face that really had kind of been the beauty standard smooth for a while. And then I started seeing movement again. And I thought, what's wrong with this? Like, I actually really missed my smile. And I actually had people comment when they started seeing photos of me with full smiles because I had taken photos before where my smile had kind of stopped at a certain part of my face. And I realized that that's what had been stopping that full smile there. And I reflected on past photos and I thought, gosh, you know, it's really sad that we are making women feel like their expression is a flaw.
- [13:22]
Podcast Host
Yeah. And.
- [13:23]
Louisa Dunn
And when I did start looking at those things, and I thought, is there a way to say we don't necessarily have to love it? Because I think it's like body positivity. It's a big jump to go from, I think, going through diet culture and all those things and saying, I actually stand there and love my body. I've been aiming for body neutrality, which I like that way of looking.
- [13:45]
Podcast Host
Can you explain that to us a bit more?
- [13:46]
Louisa Dunn
So I like it because it's not asking people to love things about your face and your body that you've probably been conditioned for so many years not to like. So, for instance, when I might start to eventually get some jowls that are naturally going to happen, am I going to look in the mirror and love the jowl? I probably won't, and I'm being realistic. But will I wake up in the morning and have a neutral stance about I look in the mirror and say, that doesn't need to affect my day. I don't need to feel less of a person because I have a naturally occurring aging part of my face that's changing? So I think for me, that's what I kind of aim for is to. It's not necessarily saying. And I think it's a big pressure on women to say, you've got to love these things because it's really hard to get out of your head to say that's not the beauty standard and it's far from the beauty standard. So to actually say, well, I'm preparing myself and I guess some of what I do is also preparing myself to like my 60 year old self and, and not you know, go into the bathroom every day and have a negative start to the day because it's always going to be getting away from the beauty standard. So I use my term like I'm trying to pick all the words because it's not about looking worse. We've been conditioned to see those faces as worse and that's an ageist attitude towards beauty. So when I use words it's about saying it's a different body, it's not a worse body, it's not a less attractive body, it's just a different body.
- [15:15]
Podcast Host
Yeah, yeah. I think that's very powerful what you just shared. Most importantly the idea of not needing to be body positive but body neutral. I think that's going to hit home for a lot of people and it has for me because the jump from like you said, what we've been layered and conditioned to see and think and you know, there's so many 56 year olds that look like they're still 30, 40. When you're conditioned to see that and you see it around you to then be like, oh no, but I actually love my grays and my wrinkles. It's a, it's a big gap and I think, I'm glad you said this because I think it would be very difficult for people to just wake up and, and start saying I'm going to just embrace that. Right. Like even if they're, it's a huge ass over the hair dye and they're over the boat, very difficult. It's a, it's a big step to go. So the, the neutrality thing's very interesting. What do you think was like a core belief about aging that you flipped? Like was there like what did you replace, like what's your belief on aging now?
- [16:13]
Louisa Dunn
I think when the joy of I guess experiencing life and having, you know, 54 years is that you have seen loss and that you have seen other people in your lives that have had challenges. Like my mother and father both had life threatening illnesses in. My mother was 38 when she had breast cancer. My dad had a heart problem problems at 40. So we, we went through as teenagers a stage where when we got to the 10 year mark after we had our parents for that long. We, you know, we realized how close we were to have lost one of them. So I think my perspective on aging probably was really affected by that at a younger age, where I really felt grateful to have my parents for every day. And, you know, and. And my dad only passed last year, and he was 80, and my mother is still here. So I think being grateful for the fact that not everyone actually gets to get to this age, like, I'm 54, and I'm incredibly grateful to still be here, and I've seen my children graduate and start their careers. So I think having a positive mindset really, really helps. And it has for me. And there is research about having a positive attitude can add six years to your life. And, you know, the numbers can mean anything. And unless you really just sort of process the fact that of course it does. I mean, if I get up in the morning and I start to criticize myself and I start to kind of. Yes, the aging body also comes with aches and pains and more medical problems and all those sorts of things, but we have to find some positive to balance that. And I think that's where I felt that I knew I had to balance that with other things, you know, that I wanted to just, you know, keep my body moving and still enjoying all of the things that I love. Which is why the fashion part is a big part of what I love, because I'm not trying to convince people that I'm a stylish person. I'm trying to convince people that we should just enjoy fashion and dressing up for as long as we want. And if it brings joy to just keep doing all those things, because there's no reason to give something up just because you're a certain age, if it brings you joy, because it's adds to that positive attitude around aging. And I think being able to acknowledge when little ageist things come in. So I'm really aware of that on my own social media, if people are saying ageist things, I like to try and address them so that people can say, oh, actually that's ageist, because it's ageist to always suggest that younger is better. So when I say I'm 54 years young, I don't say that because I'm not aspiring to be something I'm not. And old is not a bad word. So I don't say I'm 54 years young because I. It feels like you're trying to say you're young. Where always, Katie, I'm 54 years. I could say 54 years. Of age or I, I just feel like it kind of is kind of, it's, it's buying into that ages kind of mindset where everything we do and we're fighting it because you know, there's a $62 billion anti aging industry that is convincing women that we need to spend our time, energy and our money in the pursuit of youthful aesthetics. So I think being mindful of the fact that that exists and it's not a failure to be a part of that, but it is something that I think it's great for people to be aware of that there is a lot of conditioning there and there's a lot of marketing there and there's a lot of false things that are claimed that are going to do things that don't do. And I think that's why one of the things that really surprises people, it didn't me, I guess. But when I first started on social media and I had collaboration requests coming in my inbox, 95% were anti aging products. So if that just tells you something, it says that my value in that corporate space or that product space was how I could sell anti aging products to people my age. I didn't get fashion collaborations, I didn't get all these things. So the way that I held value was how I could sell women on trying to look younger.
- [20:33]
Podcast Host
That's so interesting.
- [20:34]
Louisa Dunn
Yes. So I did sit with that for a long time as well because I had to make a decision early on if I wanted to participate in that. And at that stage I really had thought about seeing my numbers grew quite quickly in the first year. And I thought, well, I don't want to do more harm with those numbers. So I really sat with what is it that I want to share on my page? And I thought I don't want to be trying to sell something that feels negative to me because I feel like I want women to feel comfortable in their bodies and that there are many different ways that we can age and that we can. I wanted to represent just one way that was a peaceful way of aging that we don't see that often. And it's certainly not a flex because it's just one of those things where if we don't see it, we can't be it. And so I just thought that if I wanted my 40 year old self to see something that was, it was an idea of aging that can be something that you can wake up in the morning and feel at peace with it. And it doesn't mean that you don't feel the pressure to do all of the things. But at least I've, I guess I liken it to, you know, you have certain amount of energy that you spend doing those things. Well, I've reduced that.
- [21:42]
Podcast Host
Yeah, greatly.
- [21:43]
Louisa Dunn
I'll still have days where I'll, I'll have something come in my newsfeed and I think, oh, what about that? That looks really easy to fix. And then I go stop it. You know, and then I kind of come back out of that headspace. So it's not easy. It takes work.
- [21:57]
Podcast Host
Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's, you think like it's maybe 50 years of conditioning from the get go from people you respect and follow, from people you admire. But I think like a really nice turning point or kind of ideal concept that I'm trying to embrace is that aging is a privilege and it's not a privilege that everybody has. And I always think of like, you know, you're talking about the smile lines, right? Like, to have smile lines means you've experienced so much happiness and joy and to conceal that just seems really, I don't know, counterintuitive for me. You guys know how much I value health and wellness. But I'll admit choosing whole foods supplements and vitamins can feel so overwhelming. I find it so hard to know which brands are clean and high quality versus those that just claim that they are. That's why I'm so excited to have Nutra Organics as a sponsor of today's episode. Because their range of clean and effective products have become an absolute staple in my routine over the last few months, notably the bone broth and the collagen powder. What really sets them apart from other brands in my opinion is their research backed approach. I take so much comfort in knowing that every single ingredient has been thoughtfully researched by, by their in house team of nutritionists. With over 25 years of experience. It's no wonder they're a trusted brand. You guys, if you're in Australia, may have even seen them in Woolies. As an added bonus, they're family, pregnancy and postpartum friendly, so you know that they're packed with nothing but the good stuff. If you, like me, just want to take quality supplements without having to decipher and decode every ingredient or back of label of every product, then I highly recommend trying Nutra Organics. The team have kindly given us a code so that you can get 15% off your order. So head to Nutra Organics.com or hit the link in the show notes and use the code the balance theory at checkout. Let's get back into today's episode. This conversation is not a judgment. Like, I think people make their own decisions based off what makes them most comfortable. However, if there is somebody listening that maybe has been thinking these things, right. They're dying the hair, they've. They've gotten into the Botox or they're thinking about those things and they're really kind of on the fence because maybe inherently they're like, I don't really want to. It's not something I really want to, but I feel like the pressure, like I have to. What kind of advice would you have for them?
- [24:10]
Louisa Dunn
Yeah, and that's, that's exactly where I've come from. So, you know, I'm the person that I, I did those things. I don't feel bad about. You know, I think that no one should feel bad about coloring their hair because as well, it's just that that thing that. It's quite an enjoyable thing to do and some people enjoy it right up until the end. I think hair color is quite an interesting one because it can be something that is also. It's like fashion as well.
- [24:33]
Podcast Host
It's like a self expression.
- [24:34]
Louisa Dunn
It is a self expression. So I do think, you know, injecting toxins. Toxins is quite different because it is injecting something into your body that does hold a lot of health risks.
- [24:45]
Podcast Host
Yeah.
- [24:46]
Louisa Dunn
So for me, I would say it, it is possible to just make a change and actually question why it is that you do these things and are they for the right reasons? And I also questioned the impact that I would have on my daughter. I wanted my daughter to feel like she could have a different view of aging and that she didn't have to feel that there was this one path that she saw her mother criticizing her body and apologizing for having expression lines. And so I wanted her to have a different view of it as well. So when, you know, people say you do it for you. I also did want to think about what impact my choices have on other people. So I have a platform now, you know, of over a million people. And if I turned up a certain way that would influence women to feel that if they wanted to be like this happy, healthy 50 year old, she doesn't have wrinkles on her face, she's getting Botox. So I think that also I've got to acknowledge that, yes, I would impact a lot of women. So I feel like the other way, I'm, I guess, showing up as someone who is, you know, quietly finding peace with an expression, you know, a face full of expression that there are people out there. And I think when you're making hard choices away from a beauty standard, that probably is the norm right now that you do need to look at. You kind of need to normalize what your face looks like by seeing people out there with similar faces. It's one of the reasons why I actually like to opt into UK dramas, because if, you know, if I sort of see too much of one thing, I really like seeing actresses with a full face. I call it like a full toolkit, because you can see everything in someone's face when you know they've got that full expression. So I do miss that. I do miss that we see that as something that's not beautiful on women. And I just wish that we could see a little bit more of that celebrated. It's not to say it's all or nothing. It's about having all, all of those types of things represented beautifully so that those that feel like they might be making this pressured choice to do something because they don't see themselves in their friend groups or things like that, to say there is someone out there and they can feel normal. And it is very normal to say, it's just not for me. And it's not about saying I want to accelerate aging because that was a really, really big step to make. You know, people say, oh, so you just want to welcome agents? Like, yeah, I just. I'm happy to be at peace with how it's coming. I just don't want to spend hours a day with multiple, you know, multiple step skincare routines or something. So I paired that back as well. I keep mine very simple. When you know more, you, you do make different choices. So when I did a bit more research about some of the side effects as well, it kind of solidified as well that I wouldn't go back there because I just thought I'd really feel like my body's got enough going on. I don't want to add something else to the mix.
- [27:43]
Podcast Host
Yeah, it's quite funny how the conversation maybe sometimes can be skewed as if you let your hair go gray or if you stop getting Botox, like you're not looking after yourself. But the reality is this, like, I've spoken to a lot of, like, nutritionists and naturopaths, and there's a really nice, like, inside out approach. And you can still do skincare and look after your hair no matter what color it is. Yeah, you can still look after your body and move it and nourish yourself. So this conversation of Beauty as like topical and just what your face looks like and how old you physically look, it's not your biological age. And quite ironically, a lot of this stuff actually is aging you faster because of the harmful side effects it's had. Like, I've heard some crazy stories as well. What would you say is like the delineation between someone. Like, how can someone work out if they're doing something because they enjoy it and they really want to do it versus it being something that they were told they had to do. I just feel like in this industry that's a very hard one to separate sometimes. It could be a combination. Do you have any thoughts around how people can really drill down to like segregate?
- [28:50]
Louisa Dunn
That's a really tough one. I would say you just really have to connect with what you feel is right. I think when I was having Botox, I think one of the things that I did actually feel like I felt a little bit guilty when I would, you know, receive a compliment or something. And I guess that's that thing where I realized that that was just a. It wasn't. I wasn't in alignment with how I really felt. I felt like it just didn't, you know, it just didn't feel right. So when now I don't, I don't have that kind of feeling anymore where I feel like, yeah, it just, I think everyone has to decide what it, what your alignment, I guess, and what your values are and like your intuition.
- [29:34]
Podcast Host
Yeah.
- [29:34]
Louisa Dunn
How much importance you put on the things that, you know, I mentioned before, which is, you know, what impact you have on your daughters and the people around you. And you know, and that makes, you know, that does mean a lot to me. And I guess also saying, well, I would also like to be an example for someone who was like me at 40 and thought, oh, I feel like I'm getting left behind. And it is very hard to feel like you're getting left behind. It was one of the things that worried me when I went back to modeling was I thought that I would feel extra pressure to have this extra work done. Yeah. Because I would look around and when I first started I saw a lot of gray haired ladies being platformed and celebrated online and in magazines. And I thought, oh gosh, just, you know, they have very smooth foreheads. And I thought mine doesn't look like that. And so I worried about that extra pressure. Thankfully, it has actually been a really, really lovely surprise that a lot of clients are looking for natural faces as well. So while, you know, I thought all I Saw was one type. There is actually, you know, there are a lot of clients who are looking. So I think my agency gave me the best advice. They said, look, if. If a client's looking for someone who looks like they're trying to look younger or that they're 40 years younger, they'll just book that model. And if they're looking for someone who's 54 and looks like you, then they'll book you. So I think that was just a real lovely, I guess, encouragement for me to just say, just stay true to who you are.
- [31:17]
Podcast Host
Yeah.
- [31:18]
Louisa Dunn
And try and cut out the noise of that feeling, the pressure to be something that you aren't.
- [31:23]
Podcast Host
Yeah.
- [31:24]
Louisa Dunn
And I feel like it has actually worked for me. I didn't make the choices so that I could have a better career, but it has had a lovely flow on effect where I have had a few partnerships that are also part of my modeling contracts that have worked in because of, you know, the choices that I've made. And they want that kind of representation.
- [31:42]
Podcast Host
Yeah.
- [31:43]
Louisa Dunn
So that's nice as well. So I guess my point is always back to that. I just believe that all types of aging we should see represented, not just one type. Because I think when you have one type of beauty that's celebrated, then that's when a lot of people feel a little bit left out and they feel a little bit different. So it's that continual celebration of diversity, size and age and different types of aging. So for me, it's just about continually looking at how we diversifying our representation. And the thing that I love about social media is that if brands aren't doing it, people can do it themselves. Like, I do it for myself because I don't always get the brands that potentially I might like the creative aesthetic for. And I can also create content that is alignment with what I want to represent myself as being.
- [32:33]
Podcast Host
So, yeah, you actually answered my next question, which was kind of, how did the industry receive, you know, you embracing kind of a more authentic natural. So it's nice to hear that it was. It kind of opened up doors that maybe weren't there before. And you're so right. Like when you're. You were saying, you know, you never really saw a lot of models represented like that. But then, you know, once you. I think once you open yourself up to that being okay and that being the norm, you start to notice it. It's like they call it the reticular activation system. So if you've ever, you know, had your heart set on a car, you'll start Seeing the car everywhere on the street. So if you start normalizing something or you're looking for it.
- [33:08]
Louisa Dunn
Yeah.
- [33:09]
Podcast Host
Or it's something you're drawn to, then you naturally start to see it too. Otherwise you just kind of block it out and it's a non event in your mind. So that's also something I've experienced. We have quite early gray in the family on both sides. So I've started to go and, you know, this is. I've started to get my grays coming through. And so it's been this interesting moment for me where I'm like, I don't want to dye my hair. I've been having conversations with my sister and I haven't and I don't think I will. And it's just like this piece of, like, I don't. I mean, I'm speaking now at 29 years old, and I appreciate that I'm not quite yet in the trenches of. Of getting there, but I really am trying to think about this proactively and making it a point of conversation because I think the way you think and feel about yourself is more important. And a lot of surface things can be a lot of band aid fixes to cover up, maybe wounds or things you haven't dealt with internally. So for me, if I know I'm okay internally and that's my focus and I'm always working out kind of my source and where things are coming from, then everything else is a choice of does it align? Is it something I want to do? So, yeah, it's. It's a conversation that really piques my interest at the moment. Another thing you have been dealing a lot with is a lot of hate and negativity online. And TikTok is just not a nice place for a lot of. I mean, I'm sure there's people that are drawn to your content as well. But I'm curious, now that you've kind of opened up this can of worms online, how do you deal with the negativity and kind of hate that can come from people that are so triggered by you living your life?
- [34:49]
Louisa Dunn
I think it's been helpful having the marketing background because I do understand how algorithms work. I understand, you know, how, you know, communicating with people and what is happening. So when I knew, I also prepare myself for how and what those sorts of things will might trigger. So I have comments limited on my Instagram, which means that you have to follow my account to comment because what happens sometimes with the algorithm is that they'll pick some kind of drama filled Content that get pushed out to the dark side, which TikTok does have a dark side. So when, when you get stuff that I guess a lot of people are commenting on negatively, it will push it out even further to try and get the engagement on that reel or whatever it is. So that's what I saw when I would have people who don't follow my page commenting and you would get a really big string of negative comments. So disabling comments for people who don't follow me just makes sure that I can keep the comment section fairly, you know, free from ages comments. So that's what I also do is I really was aware of the fact that actually leaving them there was not healthy either. So you know, I would get a few, but there was somewhere I would have a lot. And one lady said I just had to mute your account because I just didn't feel like I can read the comments.
- [36:08]
Podcast Host
Yeah.
- [36:08]
Louisa Dunn
And that's quite polarizing when going at each other. Yeah. And I thought I do want to be a safe place where people don't have to be confronted with someone getting, you know, ageist comments on the daily. So while I don't have to delete as many anymore, I am aware of the fact that that also impacts other people. So I do want to keep my comments sections pretty clean. But I also think it's important to say that we're not here to just be punching bags for ageist comments as well. So, you know, occasionally I'll get a comment and I kind of, I guess, share it because I want to show that we don't have to just put up with this stuff and that there are ageist comments circulating in on social media and that we can obviously give the energy that they deserve, but also we can acknowledge that it is happening and that to just live in a vacuum of saying here's my comfortable little bubble, it does happen because if you're a woman that's older and you know, you aren't ticking all those boxes that you. I guess the scary thing I think a lot of women feel is that when they go gray they are going to get those occasional comments. And so, you know, to be aware that they can occur is a good thing, but also know that they don't have to give it the energy. And I think that's where I had been exposed to so many that I really figured out the only way that they hurt me is if I let it fall on fertile ground. So if I still didn't have my. The solid sense of who I am and the Fact that yes, society values these things, but I don't have to put the same value on them where I do value my mind and my heart and my soul so much more. If someone said, what do you want to be known for? Well, it definitely wouldn't be how I look. And it's a strange thing for a model to say, but you know, I sat back and I thought at the end of my life, do I want to, what do I want to do? And I feel like I don't want to just sit in this lane that because my account started a certain way, I thought, well, I want to be more than just, you know, gray hair because I'm so much more of a person. It's just, that's just one aspect and it's a physical aspect. I'm so much more than that. So I guess that's why my account sort of is just kind of forked out in so many different ways because I've just looked at ways that I can maximize the impact, you know, taking on a lot more of the ageism content. Because people don't realize sometimes when they're making comments.
- [38:35]
Podcast Host
Yeah.
- [38:36]
Louisa Dunn
That they're actually ageist. So I think subtly trying to change how we address those ageist sort of language that we see sort of pop up without even thinking about it.
- [38:47]
Podcast Host
Yeah, yeah, I think that's important because probably internally we speak that way to ourselves or we have those thoughts about others maybe subconsciously a lot of the time. So yeah, making that a conversation I think is, is quite an important mission. And just on what you were saying, like, you know, if you're getting comments or that's a fear of yours, it really only attaches if it's a wound yourself. So I'll give you a really simple example. If I to you, Louise, I'd love your blue pants, you'd be like, I'm not wearing blue pants. Like that's just a fact. But if I say to you something ageist, right. And it's, it's a self doubt or a fear or something you hold as truth, then it's going to ring true for you. So working out, you know, what are your wounds, what are you comfortable with and then making decisions from that ground, it's kind of like you're building the foundation of a house before you go up. And you know, I always think of like the three little pigs and the three different houses they built. Like you want to build the one made out of bricks. And how you do that is get to know yourself better, work out your foundation and build that strong and then make decisions from that place. Last question. If you had to make a universal lesson or rule that we taught young women, specifically about aging, what would it be?
- [39:57]
Louisa Dunn
I would love it to be about celebrating different chapters of our lives as not the end of one and the beginning of another, but they're just different chapters and they all have, you know, their characters and the richness, and they all have fabulous things in them. Because if we are constantly trying to perpetuate this narrative that something ends, then we're always feeling like, well, I need to be aligning with this thing that's. That's behind me instead of looking ahead and just really being in the moment, like loving your 30s, loving your 40s, and. And. And getting the best out of your 50s and 60s. And, you know, I'm looking forward to what the differences will be and preparing for, I guess, the physical side that you'd know that's going to happen. But you prepare mentally and physically, and you go, you know What? When I'm 60, I know that I'm going to get up in the morning and love fashion, so I'm going to focus on that. So I think it's about. I think celebrating that life is just made up of lots of lovely boxes and that we fill them. And that actually, as you get older, life just. Just gets, I don't know, better because it's really hard, because it's not about saying that my life was not as good, but there's something so beautiful and rich, and I haven't felt more confidence than I do right now. And it has nothing to do with how I look. It has to do with the fact that I know myself well. I know what my boundaries are. I know what makes me happy. I know what I want to be able to impart with my family and my children and that sort of thing. And I know the things that, you know, I want to be a part of something bigger than me as well.
- [41:36]
Podcast Host
Yeah.
- [41:36]
Louisa Dunn
So your legacy. Yeah. And just that it's just like. It's not just. It's not about the surface stuff. It's about, you know, who we are as people. And I think that as you get older, that's the really wonderful thing that I've loved about getting older, is that inner confidence that comes from really realizing that, yes, words hurt and what people think of you matters. But I've never enjoyed fashion more than I do now because I'm not dressing for someone to think I'm stylish. I'm dressing because I just love It. I love the color and putting things together, and sometimes I just want to have a day where I want to have textures that feel different on. So I dress for very different reasons now. And I think the same is with. Physically, I feel pressure to go and do lots of weight training and all these things, because everyone's saying, as you age, you've got to do this. And I've loved walking for 40 years, and now I still love it, like, even more now because I get that mental health space, and I really enjoy those things. So I am really loving my 50s right now as well, because we've kind of gotten past the part of. I loved having children, but I also loved kind of finding myself again and finding what my passions are, and I never really gave them up. But I do feel like it's such a wonderful time of life to really also connect with your spouse again on a different level.
- [42:55]
Podcast Host
Yeah.
- [42:56]
Louisa Dunn
You know, moving into these years where it really is about the deep stuff, you know, and you want to be with someone who gets you at that level.
- [43:04]
Podcast Host
Yeah.
- [43:04]
Louisa Dunn
Yeah.
- [43:05]
Podcast Host
I think that's nice. Looking at kind of the trajectory of our life in these chapters, and the reason I like that is not. There's not a beginning and an end. So you're not necessarily mourning what you were in your 20s, which I feel like is what a lot of this conversation of aging is about. It's trying to cling on so badly to the way we are at 20 and 30. I always think, like, I do not want to be, like, mentally who I was at 18 or 20, because I've grown and evolved, and I loved her, and I. I'm proud of her, but I don't. I. I've evolved a lot, and I'm excited to see how that goes in the next decade and the one after that. And each of it will have its own kind of era of whatever I'm meant to experience in that time. So, yeah, I think that's a really beautiful place to leave our conversation, you know, thinking of life as an experience. Our body is the vessel, and we can look after it and love it in ways that feel aligned for us. And I'm grateful for your content and the conversation because it's also helping me kind of proactively think about these things in a way that's going to help me embrace and kind of move into later years in my life with a lot more grace for myself and in a way that feels normalized to me and the people around me. So thank you so much for what you do, and thank you so much for choosing this podcast as your first guest appearance. I really appreciate it.
- [44:23]
Louisa Dunn
Thank you. Thanks for having me.
- [44:24]
Podcast Host
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