The Balance Theory with Erika De Pellegrin

Episode: "Stay in a 9–5 or Start Your Own Thing? Here’s How to Know"

Guest: Erim Kaur, founder of ByErim

Date: November 2, 2025

Main Theme

This episode explores the nuanced decision of whether to stay in a traditional 9–5 job or pursue entrepreneurship, through the deeply personal and candid journey of Erim Kaur. Erika and Erim dissect the realities of leaving corporate life, building a product-based business from scratch, curating a personal brand, and finding balance between ambition, self-care, and staying true to personal values.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. From Corporate Rejection to Purpose-Driven Entrepreneurship

• Background and Upbringing

  • Erim shares being raised by a young, entrepreneurial single father. Working at his restaurant from the age of 14 taught her the value and impact of business early on. (02:22–03:35)
  • She notes early exposure to social media for business: “That is the moment that I realized the power in social media.” (03:31)

• Struggling to Fit In

  • Despite an entrepreneurial spirit, Erim tried – but repeatedly failed – to assimilate into corporate work: “After I graduated, I got fired eight times from every job I tried... I didn’t understand office politics... The only thing I was good at was the work itself.” (06:23)

• Psychology of the Leap

  • Erim and Erika discuss the anxiety around leaving security: “There was never a moment where I felt safe enough to just leap and just see what happens... There's a lot of logic that went behind that to ensure that, okay, I was still consulting part time.” (09:57)

Notable Quote:

“If I had really overthought that, I would have delayed myself even longer.”
— Erim (13:44)

2. Navigating Entrepreneurial Identity & Mindset

• Are Leaders Born or Made?

  • Erika and Erim consider whether an entrepreneurial mindset is innate:
    • “I believe there’s a statistic, isn’t that like one in four people are a leader and then the other three are like team, kind of like builders... And that's why I believe it is such a power to know which one of these two people you are.” (08:16)

• Slow and Strategic Transition

  • Both reaffirm value in a pragmatic, phased transition:
    • Erika: “There really is this natural ease in period... don’t stop yourself, but do it in a way that’s pragmatic with all the responsibilities you have at that time.” (10:44)
    • Erim: “The ideation and preparation of my business took from January 2019 to the launch, December 2019. It was nearly a year.” (10:15)

3. Origin Story: Making ByErim a Reality

• Motivation and Legacy

  • ByErim’s hair oil product has deeply personal roots: “I lost my mom at eight years old... We tried yogurt, honey, mustard seed oil... so many concoctions until we landed upon the formulation that’s inside ByErim.” (14:26)

• Building a Brand with Meaning

  • Erim connects childhood loss and healing to her product’s mission:
    • “It was always going to be the hair oil. I knew that for a fact... There was no friction in the ideation stage.” (12:18)
    • “What your mom has is what you feel is beauty. And I was like, long hair is beautiful.” (14:46)

Notable Quote:

"I owe everything in my business to my followers, because that first 250 people that bought that first batch... they bought it from thinner. No reviews, no before and afters, nothing.”
— Erim (17:24)

4. Social Influence, Personal Brand, and Boundaries

• Building and Guarding a Public Life

  • Erim’s content carefully balances candor and protection:
    • “I share 10% of my life – and that 10% I thoroughly and rigorously show. But that 90% is absolutely deadly protected by me… truly, when you have a really strong understanding of what sits in your life, what you want to show and what you don’t want to show, you’ll realize that…” (20:09)

• Viral vs. Personality-led Growth

  • Social media environment has shifted:
    • “Those that got in early, like a decade ago, are very lucky because they were able to be personality-led figures. Whereas now…I think really the only way you grow a huge following in a short amount of time is by going viral.” (20:09–21:43)

• Community over Numbers

  • Erim prioritizes connection over follower counts:
    • “Focus so desperately on achieving new followers…but you should be doing is looking at your existing followers... my followers are my stakeholders in my business.” (23:52)

Notable Quote:

“Injecting your personality as honestly and briefly as you can into that small segment that you’re happy to show will limit the pressure that you feel to film… and will ensure that you have those boundaries.”
— Erim (21:43)

5. Routine, Energy & Balance as an Entrepreneur

• Three Key Insights:

  • Self-Knowledge is Power: Both Erika and Erim shape their days around their energy patterns, not societal rules: “I'm very, very passionate about standing up for my right to lie in. My body does not work if I'm waking up at seven in the morning… The world needs me to wake up at 9am onwards.” (25:01)

  • Basic Needs Before Business:

    • “The underlying principle is you need to be regulated... you need to have all basic needs met, like really human basic needs met, in order to operate at any level beyond okay.” (28:44)

  • Balance Evolves:

    • Erika highlights: “For me, [balance] changes as time goes on…Today, as a mum with a newborn baby…what balance looks like to me looks very different to the last time we met.” (30:20)

6. Practical Hair Health & Product Advice

• Hair Care Myths vs. Facts

  • Double Shampooing: Yes, it helps.
  • Washing Hair Less Often: False. “If your scalp is caked with dirt, the hair follicle can’t come through.” (32:46)

• Proper Use of Hair Oil:

  • “Scalp is the soil…you need to ensure that your scalp is nourished, has everything it needs in order to grow healthy hair.” (33:02)
  • Apply oil daily on ends for long hair; weekly deep scalp oil for nourishment.

• Heat Styling Wisdom:

  • Always use heat protectant, applied directly to strands; oil before heat is a “no” (think: cooking your hair). (34:58–35:44)
  • “Pick one evil” among coloring, chemical treatment, and heat – don’t try to avoid all, but don’t combine them excessively.

• Split Ends:

  • “If your hair is splitting, if you don't cut the split, it's going to continue up the strand of hair... Cutting and oiling will give you that full density.” (39:42)

Notable Hair Health Quotes:

“Oil to me seems a bit counterintuitive when it comes to the ends of your hair… but cutting and oiling, cutting and oiling will give you that full density.”
— Erim (40:13)

Memorable Moments and Quotes

• On Being Fired Eight Times:

  “Maybe I didn’t do a good job… It took a while for me to be like, actually, it was me, but it was because I was meant to do something else.”
  — Erim (08:16)

• On Public Persona Boundaries:

  “If I love you, not even a baby finger is making it to the corner of my screen on Instagram.”
  — Erim (20:09)

• On Core Needs and Self-Advocacy:

  “You have to advocate for yourself… the power of just giving yourself that one minute to just advocate for what you want.”
  — Erim (29:51)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Erim’s early career setbacks & upbringing – 02:22–06:23
• Corporate vs. entrepreneurial mindset debate – 06:52–09:40
• How to safely transition to entrepreneurship – 09:57–11:26
• Birth & deep meaning of ByErim – 12:18–16:29
• Building a personal brand & drawing boundaries – 17:14–23:52
• Routine & energy management for founders – 25:01–30:20
• Practical hair health myths & advice – 32:08–41:42
• Split ends and essential hair advice – 39:42–41:02
• Postpartum/post-stress hair loss – 37:33–39:21

Final Thoughts

Erim’s story is a testament to designing a career around your history, values, and energy – not others’ blueprints. Both she and Erika invite listeners to approach transitions with honesty, groundedness, and a deep sense of self-awareness, rather than through hustle culture myths or viral-driven anxieties. The episode is rich with practical, actionable insight for anyone contemplating a leap or seeking to better balance work, life, and self-expression.

Where to Find More

• ByErim website: [Link in show notes] (Ships internationally; use code BALANCE10 for discount)
• Erim on Instagram: @erim
• Podcast & resources: [The Balance Theory Website / Playlists / Socials]