This Will Find You Right Before Your Next Level Up.

Summary

The Balance Theory with Erika De Pellegrin

Episode: This Will Find You Right Before Your Next Level Up
Date: January 11, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Erika De Pellegrin explores the neuroscience and mindset shifts required to push through comfort zones and reach the next level in personal growth. Drawing from both her experience as a lawyer and theories from neuroscience, Erika unpacks why fear arises when we pursue new goals and provides practical strategies to address self-doubt and paralysis. The discussion emphasizes that fear is not a sign of misalignment, but a natural part of leveling up, and covers ways to navigate nervous system responses to ultimately move forward.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Science Behind Fear When Leveling Up

• Fear is both psychological and biological:
  Erika and her guest discuss how stepping into something new triggers fear because the brain doesn't have a map or reference point for the experience. It's not just about limiting beliefs — our biology is designed to keep us safe in the unknown.
• Building familiarity reduces fear:
  “When time passes, we're building those neural networks of going, I can do this, this is familiar. I know this place, I've done this before. And then that will dissipate.” (Guest, 00:43)

2. The Fallacy of Comparison

• On comparison with others who’ve achieved what we want:
  Erika points out our tendency to see a “massive gap” between ourselves and those we admire, assuming they experience less fear. The truth is, “you have someone who has fear...and then you've got the other person who has fear...but they've taken the action anyway.” (Erika, 01:02–01:18)

• Reframing discomfort:
  “It's now a symbol that I am pushing myself, that I am growing, rather than it being this, oh, I'm not good enough and I shouldn't be in this room, you know.” (Erika, 01:46–01:58)

3. Addressing the ‘Gremlins’ and Freeze Response

• Dealing with persistent fear or freeze:
  The guest analogizes anxious thoughts or limiting beliefs as “little gremlins” or “cheeky little monkeys.” The idea is to “give them love, give them compassion,” recognizing they're like “toddlers having a tantrum.” (Guest, 02:15–02:16)
• Practical technique for overcoming the freeze response:
  • If fear is so strong that it causes paralysis (freeze response), notice where in your body you feel calmest.
  • “They can focus on that a bit...use a technique in brain spotting...look around and see where they feel more breathing space just with their eyes and then focus on that body part. And that just gives them a bit of capacity to come out of freeze and move forward.” (Guest, 02:29–03:08)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On why discomfort is a sign you’re growing:

  “It doesn't feel any better or more euphoric in any way. It's still scary as hell, it's still uncomfortable, all those yucky feelings. But it's now a symbol that I am pushing myself, that I am growing, rather than it Being this, oh, I'm not good enough and I shouldn't be in this room, you know.”
  — Erika (01:36–01:58)

• On managing self-doubt:

  “If they do pop up, you know, they're little gremlins and you don't listen to them, these cheeky monkeys. You give them love, you give them compassion, but they're like little toddlers having a tantrum.”
  — Guest (02:11–02:16)

• On coming out of the freeze response:

  “They can focus on that a bit...use their visual field and look around and see where they feel more breathing space just with their eyes and then focus on that body part. And that just gives them a bit of capacity to come out of freeze and move forward.”
  — Guest (02:48–03:08)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:10 — The neuroscience of pushing beyond your comfort zone
• 00:53 — The illusion of a gap between you and those you admire
• 01:46 — Discomfort as an indicator of growth
• 02:11 — Strategies for managing self-doubt and inner critic
• 02:29 — How to address the freeze response with body-based techniques

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Tone & Style Notes

This episode combines warmth and practical encouragement, normalizing fear and self-doubt while equipping listeners with simple neuroscience-based tools. Erika’s relatable analogies and the guest’s compassionate take on inner barriers empower listeners to see discomfort as a necessary and positive part of personal development.

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For listeners seeking to make bold moves in their lives, this episode offers not only empathy, but actionable techniques grounded in science to help you move through fear and into your next level.

Transcript

[A]

We've set our goals. We're now pushing ourselves in the new year. What on a neuroscience level is going on when we are starting to push ourselves outside of our comfort zone?

[B]

So whenever you do go to the next chapter or an opportunity arises and you meet it, you're going to feel scared. Every part of you, your brain has no map, it has no reference point. So it's not just limiting beliefs, it's also biology. If we throw limiting beliefs in the mix, they can also arise. Then like, oh, no, am I going to be judged? Are people going to think that these, this or that about me? They're the cheeky little monkeys. But if we move the cheeky little monkeys aside, fear is there because it's not familiar. And biological, biologically, it's like, this is not familiar. I don't have a map, I don't have a reference point. And then when time passes, we're building those neural networks of going, I can do this, this is familiar. I know this place, I've done this before. And then that will dissipate.

[A]

Yeah, it's an important distinction because I always love sharing sort of the analogy. You look at someone who has achieved something that you want, let's say, and then maybe yourself, and maybe you're comparing the two, which is something we all do. Comparison, we shouldn't, but we fall into it. We're human and I think often we feel there's some massive gap between what this person has done that has achieved what you wanted and yourself. And I always like to give the visual that you have someone who has fear and let's not stop them. Maybe that's where you are now. And, and then you've got the other person who has fear, which is the person that you've seen achieve what you want, but they've taken the action anyway. And I think just reminding yourself that that is a primal thing that pops up is such a comforting thing when you're going along the journey of trying to push yourself. It reminds you that it's not that you're misaligned or on the wrong path, it's just that you're actually pushing yourself. So I've coming back to, like stories you tell yourself. I, I anticipate it when I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone. It doesn't feel any better or more euphoric in any way. It's still scary as hell, it's still uncomfortable, all those yucky feelings. But it's now a symbol that I am pushing myself, that I am growing, rather than it Being this, oh, I'm not good enough and I shouldn't be in this room, you know.

[B]

Yeah. And if they do pop up, you know, they're little gremlins and you don't listen to them shaky monkeys. You give them love, you give them compassion, but they like little toddlers having a tantrum.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

Yeah. And if somebody is doing that, Erica, where they're at a place to go, their next step, but they feel the fear, but the fear actually freezes them. They're not able to take the next step. Then neurobiologically they're in a freeze response and they need to increase their capacity and they can do that with a body resource. So they can scan their body. Where do they feel the calmest in their body relatively, or there's a bit more stillness or quietness there. It's not as I can't breathe. They can focus on that a bit. They can. I'm going to use a little technique in brain spotting that they can actually use where they can use their visual field and look around and see where they feel more breathing space just with their eyes and then focus on that body part. And that just gives them a bit of capacity to come out of freeze and move forward as well. Foreign.

[C]

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