#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard – Episode #490: The Worst Ways To Propose

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Basement Yard
• Host/Author: Santagato Studios (Joe Santagato)
• Episode: #490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
• Release Date: February 17, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode #490 of The Basement Yard, hosts Joe Santagato and Frank delve into the often humorous and sometimes cringe-worthy topic of marriage proposals. Titled "The Worst Ways To Propose," the episode explores various unconventional and ill-advised methods of popping the question, enriched with personal anecdotes, playful banter, and candid reflections on relationship dynamics.

Discussions on the Worst Proposal Methods

1. Public and Extravagant Proposals

Joe and Frank begin by critiquing overly public and staged proposal scenarios. They highlight the potential pitfalls of grand gestures that can overshadow the personal significance of the moment.

• Proposing on an Airplane:
  Frank humorously imagines the chaos of proposing mid-flight, saying, “If the person being proposed to says no, this pilot needs to go fly this plane” (47:18). Joe adds to the absurdity by noting the redundancy of proposing when the plane already has autopilot: “There are two pilots now, of course” (43:15).

• Flash Mobs:
  Both hosts express strong aversions to flash mob proposals, emphasizing the discomfort they would feel witnessing such a spectacle. Frank recounts declining an invitation to a flash mob, describing it as “the thing that people said just to like get people excited in 2010” (48:16). Joe agrees, stating, “Flash mob is pretty bad” (47:52).

2. Proposing at Inappropriate Venues

The conversation shifts to proposing in settings that might put undue pressure or seem insensitive.

• Funerals:
  Joe and Frank vehemently oppose proposals at funerals, underscoring the inappropriateness and emotional toll it would impose. Frank remarks, “You're not getting engaged at a funeral. That's insane” (57:04), while Joe concurs, highlighting the distress it would cause: “If someone was eating my butt and was like, I. I. I would think that someone... put a ring in my food and I ate it” (65:00).

• Theme Parks and Parades:
  Proposals amidst the chaos of theme parks or grand events like parades are also criticized. Frank quips, “If there's a parade float and you're like, quick, I need to ask for your hand in marriage, you fucked up” (57:42). Joe adds humorously, “If you're there with a big inflatable, like Elmo, making its way down, you just messed up” (57:42).

3. Combining Proposals with Other Elements

The duo discusses the complications of integrating proposals with other activities or gimmicks.

• Engagement Rings in Food:
  Joe imagines the disaster of hiding an engagement ring in food items, leading to accidental ingestion: “What if they eat it? It’s like, now I have to fish this out of crap” (63:51). Frank underscores the impracticality and potential embarrassment, saying, “If they swallow it, Bro, could you imagine?” (63:56).

• Surprise Weddings and Public Spectacles:
  They touch upon the idea of surprise proposals in highly publicized settings, such as during weddings or large gatherings, emphasizing the loss of intimacy and personal touch: “People are watching, I am not comfortable” (68:22).

Personal Anecdotes and Reactions

Frank’s Ideal Proposal

Frank shares his perspective on what constitutes a meaningful proposal, advocating for intimate and personal moments over grandiose displays.

• Private Beach Sunset Proposal:
  Frank recounts his own proposal experience, emphasizing the beauty and simplicity of the moment: “I remember the craziest sunset... neon pink and purple and orange” (50:02). He describes proposing in a secluded beach setting, ensuring the moment remained special and pressure-free.

Joe’s Approach and Preferences

Joe complements Frank’s anecdote by stressing the importance of mutual understanding and pre-discussion in relationships before making such significant commitments.

• Avoiding High-Pressure Scenarios:
  Joe advocates for proposals that are aligned with both partners’ comfort levels, stating, “Everyone should get engaged in a way that is special as a couple” (67:53). He discourages following societal expectations or seeking validation through public approval.

Key Insights and Conclusions

Through their lighthearted yet insightful conversation, Joe and Frank underscore the essence of a successful marriage proposal:

• Personalization Over Spectacle:
  The hosts agree that the best proposals are those that resonate personally with both individuals, rather than adhering to grand societal norms or expectations.

• Avoiding Pressure and Insensitivity:
  Proposals should avoid scenarios that could induce undue pressure, embarrassment, or insensitivity, such as public spectacles or inappropriate venues.

• Communication and Mutual Understanding:
  Establishing clear communication and understanding within the relationship is pivotal before deciding on the method and timing of a proposal.

Notable Quotes:

• Frank: “If the person being proposed to says no, this pilot needs to go fly this plane” (47:18).
• Joe: “Everyone should get engaged in a way that is special as a couple” (67:53).
• Frank: “Flash mob is pretty bad” (47:52).
• Joe: “Proposing at a funeral. That's insane” (66:06).

Final Thoughts

Episode #490 of The Basement Yard offers a humorous yet thoughtful exploration of the myriad ways individuals might consider proposing, highlighting the importance of personal connection and appropriateness over public displays. Joe and Frank’s candid dialogue serves as both entertainment and guidance for listeners contemplating the best way to take their relationships to the next level.

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Time markers correspond to the transcript timestamps for reference.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank. You're here with your Hawaiian shirt, Dead of the winter. I appreciate the dedication.

[B]

I'm also here with Fred Durst. Apparently, it's a backwards hat. Let's relax. Fred Durst owns backwards fitted hats.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If it's not a fitted hat, but it's usually red.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Is it only. No, he's. He's had some black ones here right now.

[A]

He's just white. I mean, he's been white. I'm talking about his facial hair. I was gonna say white as snow.

[B]

His hair.

[A]

His facial hair.

[B]

Your friend Dursted out right now, but that's actually thirsty. That's not a bad thing. I mean, you did it all for the nookie. We've discussed this.

[A]

We've discussed it in, dude, brave detail.

[B]

I think that's what you should go as this year for Halloween. Fred Durst. Fred Durst. Why not?

[A]

I'm just gonna wear a backwards hat.

[B]

Backwards hat. Just start, you know, telling people. Break yourself.

[A]

I can get a little. What's that called?

[B]

Soul patch.

[A]

Soul patch. No, no, it's like a. Not a goatee. It's like a. Like a landing strip, but on your face.

[B]

Landing strip.

[A]

Remember when the landing strip was popular with vaginas?

[B]

Yeah. I did it one year.

[A]

You don't have a vagina.

[B]

I know. I don't.

[A]

Wait, you had. You had a landing strip?

[B]

Yeah, for your. I don't. Let's make something very.

[A]

I know your man. Your. Your.

[B]

My boy. My. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's a different. That's your.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Um. Yeah, when I was, like, like, 18, I would, like, shave, like a. Like a landing strip.

[A]

I don't know why I know that you've done other stuff, so. What else have you done? I did an F. You shaved an F into your pubes?

[B]

Yeah. Long time ago. Long, long, long, long.

[A]

That doesn't help. I mean, it doesn't matter what it happens.

[B]

Yes, it does. If my younger self did it, I'm not held responsible. Wrong.

[A]

You shaved an F. Yeah.

[B]

And it was.

[A]

Did someone enjoy this? Because I never saw that.

[B]

Would you have enjoyed that site?

[A]

Not enjoyed, but I'm assuming you. You fucking shave an effort to your pubes and you're like, joe, look.

[B]

I mean, I. Maybe I showed you my pubes.

[A]

I mean, I feel like I've seen your landing strip.

[B]

Yeah, probably landing strip. But I remember when I. Whether it was the landing ship or the F, I got a physical and my doctor saw it. And he was just like, yeah. I was like, yeah, man. He was like, good for you. He was an old Greek man. He was like, you know, good for you, my friend. You know, put an F in your.

[A]

Pubes, Went to the doctor.

[B]

I didn't realize. I honestly forgot that I had a doctor's appointment. And I did.

[A]

What about remembering the pubes? I would have ran to the bathroom and maybe a little.

[B]

Did what?

[A]

Did.

[B]

What in the. Do you think I'm carrying around? This is.

[A]

I'm talking about before you guys are a doctor.

[B]

2010, Joey. You think I'm carrying around? Fucking micro touches. No, this is before.

[A]

I mean, honestly, you could have been. Because back then you had a drawstring backpack that had, like, everything.

[B]

I did. But that was a couple years prior. That was a. That was a weird time. We don't look. We don't.

[A]

You were razor pubing. You were razoring your puke.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Against the grain, too. It was.

[A]

You were against the grain razor. Your pubes.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You probably slice that thing up.

[B]

I remember I had the Gillette Fusion razor did. It was the one that you turned on and it. It just had a vibrating thing in it. Like.

[A]

Wait, you had a vibrating razor for your pubes?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're a horny one.

[B]

That weird. You get horny for your pubes?

[A]

No, I mean, I.

[B]

Someone plays with your pubes. You're horny.

[A]

Someone plays with my pubes?

[B]

Like, plays with your. Like, fat?

[A]

What do you think I'm getting them braided? What do you mean, fat? What are you saying?

[B]

What are you talking about? Well, like. No. What do you mean? I'm not like. You think I'm holding my razor to my penis.

[A]

Why does it need to vibrate?

[B]

It was like what the Gillettes did at the time. It was the Gillette Fusion. And I thought it was like. Well, this must be. Because I see commercials for it. This must be a really good razor. And it was just a razor that just vibrated.

[A]

Yeah. Did you shave your balls? Yeah, you know, I never shaved my balls in my life, so.

[B]

Your balls? You just have, like, a Gandalf beard on your nuts.

[A]

No, no, no. I mean it, like. No, that's not what happened.

[B]

What happened?

[A]

I don't know, Like, I mean, back in the day, I never shaved them with, like, a razor.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I did. Well, I know, like, certain.

[A]

How'd you do it? You, like, pulled it taut and then you.

[B]

Yeah, of course, baby. Hold it tight. Go across. You know, go around. I have a very delicate Sack. I was gonna say, like, I can like, navigate the area. Well, also, by the way, just remembered, not Patreon.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You're pulling your sack taut and you're shaving it.

[B]

Well, sure. I mean, I haven't done that in a long time. Let's be very, very clear.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, now we're just buzzboy trim boys.

[B]

There are certain parts of your body where the hair is, like, chemically or, like, engineered basically, that it will only grow to a certain length. That's why you've never, like, shaved your legs. Right, right. That's why it doesn't get, like, wildly long. It stays the length that it is. And when new hair comes in, it gets that length and it's like, we're good, right? Pubes. I think pubes.

[A]

Facial hair.

[B]

Facial hair and head hair are the ones that'll just, just, just, just.

[A]

And if you're old and white, than your ear hair, because I've seen some.

[B]

Are you scared about that when you become an old, dumb white man?

[A]

I mean, I'm gonna just clean out my ears. I'm gonna get the shavers.

[B]

Ew. Yeah.

[A]

You want me to do. Let it grow to my ears? Like potato. Like a potato.

[B]

I don't know if I've seen someone live and, like, in person with, like, you know, like, hair. Oh, I have. Jetting out of their ears.

[A]

You've never seen, like, an old white man in brown pants and suspenders with just ear hair?

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

And it's like, bro, how could you even possibly hear with that?

[B]

I don't know. You know, what's the grossest hair?

[A]

What's the grossest hair? You're like, ew.

[B]

I think nose is worse. Like, when it's coming. If you see nose hair, like, coming out, like, it's like fucking. Like a stalactite that's miserable. It is crazy.

[A]

I. I don't mind that because I feel like I don't see, like, really bad nose hair. You would have to cut that because it would make you sneezy.

[B]

Well, no, I think it's there and it's not making you sneezy. It's when something gets in there is that makes you sneezy.

[A]

I hate back of the neck hair.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Like when people are wearing T shirts and it's like, dude, it's coming out the back of your neck.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. I hate that.

[B]

Oh, I don't really care. I don't know how else to say that. Like, hair doesn't really bother me, but like, nose would suck.

[A]

That's hair.

[B]

I know. I'm saying, like, nose would be the one that I'd be like, all right, this. This kind of sucks a lot.

[A]

If someone walked up on you with a hairy ass nose, you'd be like.

[B]

Bro, I get this fucking nose out of my face. That's what I would say. Honestly. Is that what you want?

[A]

But, yeah, I just want to know you.

[B]

You. You got the Fred Durst thing going on.

[A]

I do. I guess.

[B]

I mean, that's not a bad thing. Just live it up, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You also. I could have swore you went to a Camp Rock trivia, because Nick Jonas and you. You re. Sparked the conversation of looking like twinsies.

[A]

Because we have the same jacket and.

[B]

You guys have the same face.

[A]

So I've heard.

[B]

Can you sing like him? Because he's very, like, you know, like.

[A]

He'S got a falsetto on him that I don't think that I have.

[B]

Oh, you're saying species of singing. I. I'm not. I'm not.

[A]

High pitch.

[B]

Is that. Is that alto?

[A]

No, baritone is. And then falsetto was like. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Like, he's got.

[A]

I don't know why.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know who the hell that was. That was like a. Like the Croatian version of Nick Jonas. Yeah. Nikolai Jonaskov.

[A]

Yeah. Wow. Okay, there we go.

[B]

Everyone, everyone. Like that joke.

[A]

Let's wait for the laughter to die down. Yeah, I saw that because someone tweeted me. They were like, you're never gonna, like, beat the allegations because we're both wearing the same Knicks jacket.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I always forget that they're from Jersey.

[A]

Are they from Jersey?

[B]

Yeah, originally they're from Jersey.

[A]

The Joe Bro Jersey trash.

[B]

That's awesome. Why do you have to do that, Joey? You're. Now that's. That's how you're speaking about my children. They also. They and my wife. I'm pissed for everyone.

[A]

They and you. Let's not forget.

[B]

Well, technically, I'm not Jersey trash.

[A]

I mean, you're. You're grandfathered in, I think.

[B]

Oh, I'm. I've only been there a couple years, and now you're grandfathering me in.

[A]

How long you been there?

[B]

This September, it'll be seven years.

[A]

Okay. Once you get to 10, you're official.

[B]

10 years. I'm fully in the trash. Yeah.

[A]

Wait, do you have a Jersey license?

[B]

Yeah. Where have you been?

[A]

You're.

[B]

That's treason. I want to be very clear about something. I wasn't happy when I had to switch it over right but, like, I had to switch that and my. My. Like, the plates on my car and everything. Because, like, did I ever tell you when my license got suspended during the pandemic?

[A]

For what?

[B]

Some. And chicanery. But I want to make it very clear I was very upset about it. And you know me, I like to keep an even keel when I'm talking to, like, people in, like, customer service. I don't like being. I have. I feel too bad because I know they have a hard job, but, like, I was. I was letting them have it.

[A]

Why did your license get suspended?

[B]

Something to do with insurance. Where, Like, I had books before the pandemic started. Back five years ago, I had switched, like, started the process of switching my insurance over, but then the DMVs and everything just shut down. Like, New York, New Jersey. Like, you couldn't get in touch with anyone, so they just suspended my license without telling me.

[A]

That's fire. Was it?

[B]

No, it wasn't. And I was really pissed off.

[A]

Well, you got pulled over, and they were like, your license is suspended. No, I don't get the out.

[B]

I don't know. That's. You know, I like how because I'm a brown man, that. That's the fucking first place that you would go.

[A]

Brown is crazy.

[B]

Tan. Tan.

[A]

Well, it's the winter, so you're more just like.

[B]

I'm darker than you.

[A]

How hard is that? I'm your friend.

[B]

Thirst.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was. I don't remember how I found out. I think I called them because I got a letter in the mail or something like that.

[A]

It was like, yo, you're suspended.

[B]

I don't. I don't remember, but I remember you've.

[A]

Been suspended from school.

[B]

Almost. I almost got to spend it. That whole. You smell thing. Remember I told you that story where my dad had to come in? I told. This is a famous. My father.

[A]

You told someone they smelled?

[B]

No. So I'll give you a bridge. The bridge. Here's the bridge.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

Don't laugh at that. I was in our, like, tech class, and what we had to do was we had to, like, use, like, we were learning coding and, like, building websites and like that. And we were in a group, and you can look at people's stuff from other groups and comment on it. Like, feedback and like that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And Recipe for disaster.

[A]

Go ahead.

[B]

I will say this. At the time, I didn't have a good reputation. Yeah.

[A]

This is the pinnacle of Prank Frank.

[B]

Prank Frank was out in full force, and I had gotten up to go to the bathroom. And I left my computer open because it was one of those things where like they'd wheel in the laptops and you'd. Yeah, and I left it open. I went to the bathroom. But my defense was, it was when you had a sign out. Remember our teachers made us do that. They were just like, you have to sign your name when you're leaving and when you're coming back. Like, they fucking police us.

[A]

Prison shit.

[B]

Yeah. Made sense though, because people were pissing all over the toilet paper in the bathrooms.

[A]

But, yo, I have thrown toilet paper soaking wet out the ceiling.

[B]

We used to do that together in elementary school.

[A]

That's a fun thing to do.

[B]

Oh, wet paper is so sick.

[A]

When you're younger and you're walking into the boys bathroom and then you're like, yo, let's just have fun. And you crumble up a bunch of paper, you soak it and you throw it against the ceiling. Nothing better.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then it just starts dripping.

[B]

And that's how we. That's how we had fun.

[A]

It was fun.

[B]

In boys bathroom.

[A]

I never on the ground or piss.

[B]

Yeah, no, no, never. No, no. Peeing and soaps. I knew people that did that. That's why I was very upset about it.

[A]

I never pissed in the sink. I spit in the sink.

[B]

I spit in the sink. I didn't piss in the sink. I used. I didn't piss in the sink.

[A]

You ever in a urinal?

[B]

I've never crapped in a urinal.

[A]

I just want to get that.

[B]

That's just mean, dude. Like, people have to piss in that.

[A]

Well, people have to clean it. I'm not worried about peeing.

[B]

Oh, you just piss the crap away. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I mean, event. Yeah, if. No, that's what. You clean it up.

[B]

Like, you be a hero. You piss the crap away, right? Yeah. But I went to the bathroom and while I was gone, someone on my computer wrote to somebody else, you smell? And came back.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Yeah, came back. The girl ran out and was like, really upset. And the teacher like, immediately was like, you downstairs? Principal's office. I was like. And they had to like, set up a hearing. My dad had to come in the next morning because of.

[A]

You smell.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Geez, dude, that's pretty.

[B]

And it's what. I don't know what this says about me. Who was the girl?

[A]

Did she stink? She must have stopped.

[B]

I don't remember. I don't remember her smelling.

[A]

You smell.

[B]

I don't remember if she smelled.

[A]

I mean, clearly she's self conscious about that.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't.

[A]

I'm not trying to victim. I mean, I. I guess I'm victim blaming here, but like, that seems pretty light.

[B]

Yeah. And that was my argument during the hear argument, wasn't it wasn't me. My argument. My argument was multifaceted. One of them was, hey, listen, I was out at the bathroom. Here's when I signed out. Signed in, you know, whatever the other one was. If I'm going to insult someone.

[A]

You said that. She's like, yo, I can do much better than you smell.

[B]

I swear to God. I said. I was just like, yeah, if I. If I insulted someone, it would be a little bit more elaborate than you smell elaborate. It would.

[A]

What grade was this?

[B]

Eighth. Seventh. Eighth grade. One of those two.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And. And they. My dad came in. It was a whole big ordeal. I've told the story probably on the show, but wow. Yeah, it was. It was something. But you smell, you know, like, that.

[A]

They let you stay, bro, 8th grade is too late in life.

[B]

Were you ever like, did you get an in house suspension?

[A]

Yeah, that I got. I got in house suspended a few times. Which is just. They sit you in a room and they put like these like, walls so you can't like, look at everyone. And then you have to do like work the entire day. And they let you go to the bathroom twice a day.

[B]

Sounds like solitary confinement, basically. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You go to the bathroom twice a day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I never fucking got that. I never fucking understood.

[A]

Teachers hate when you go, hey.

[B]

I mean, granted, that's where shit goes down. Let's be honest. Like, literally and figuratively. But. But like, teachers would be like, you have one trip to the bathroom per day. And it's like, bro, what if I'm just. You want me to piss and crap everywhere?

[A]

I wonder what it's like in schools now, because you remember, it's like, oh, I got to go to the bathroom. They're like, here, take this. It was like a full chair attached to a key. And I'm like, what? Why does it have to be.

[B]

Or even worse. And I hope they still don't do this. Even worse. They would be like, all right, pick someone to go with you. And what is that? And then we'd get up and we'd go, h. And obviously every time we picked each other.

[A]

Right?

[B]

But like. And you never. And if you did pick somebody else, I was.

[A]

I was going to hear about that for.

[B]

About that for a couple months. Yeah, but like, go. Like, we were in a school, dude.

[A]

I totally handled this by myself.

[B]

The bathroom's down the hall. It's not, like, across the street. Yeah, it made no sense.

[A]

Like, take someone with you in case you fall in. Like, why am I taking a spotter? I'm taking a shit.

[B]

Yeah, I don't want anyone there. I don't know. Schools were crazy back in the day.

[A]

Never dumped in school.

[B]

We really should get one of our old teachers on this show and see if we can ask them, like, why did you do this?

[A]

I. I don't think that any of our teachers will remember specific things about us.

[B]

I hope they do. I would.

[A]

I would like to think they did 25 years ago.

[B]

I mean, you know, they. They tend to remember memorable students. And I think that, yeah, not only were we memorable at the time, but, like, look at us now, you know?

[A]

Do you know that, like, when I was in middle school in, like, seventh and eighth grade, I was cool with our vice principal?

[B]

Yeah, I was cool with my. My. The staff, too.

[A]

I. I, like, I would get sent to her office all the time, and she was, like, very nice to me, and I thought that we had, like, a good rapport. And I just, like. I wasn't emotionally stable back then, so I, like, would just get, like, very angry very quickly.

[B]

What was. Oh, like, you had, like, a temper.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wouldn't define you as ever having had a temper.

[A]

I did then, and I don't. I don't even know.

[B]

It's hysterical because you were also the smallest, little. Puniest little baby boy at the time. So, like, who were you scaring, bitch?

[A]

I wasn't trying to scare anyone. What the hell was that? One more time. One more time. Do me. This is me in seventh grade.

[B]

All right? What are you mad about? Give me. Give me the scene.

[A]

Give me the scene. Someone's accusing me of something, but I didn't do it.

[B]

Well, accusing you of what? I need to know exactly what.

[A]

Stealing someone's backpack, spilling someone's backpack or.

[B]

Smaller, Something that you might like.

[A]

Pencil.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[A]

Go ahead.

[B]

It be like.

[A]

I don't know why you're.

[B]

Go ahead. No, I still know my. That was Jo. I didn't do him. Yeah, as you were wearing your etneys and you were listening to Good Charlotte.

[A]

Yeah. Probably not back then.

[B]

You had Good Charlotte on your. On your mp3.

[A]

Good Charlotte came a little later.

[B]

But, yeah, middle school. That was Good Charlotte. That was prime.

[A]

Whatever. I mean, regardless, you know? But anyway, he took.

[B]

He took the. The earbud out of his head, and you just hear, like, in the Background like.

[A]

That is a South park voice.

[B]

That might be, but you were just like. You had like. And you had big teeth at the time. I remember, like you were so small. You were like a little. You were like a hairless, big tooth, little white rodent.

[A]

You're not very nice. A hairless, big tooth, white little rodent.

[B]

I mean, it's. But like, what were you? I was a big nose, skinny, lanky, dumb brown kid.

[A]

I feel better now.

[B]

Yeah, there you go. You were Rufus from Kim.

[A]

Google that, you scumbag.

[B]

Obviously. Honestly Fired. Honestly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not that far off.

[A]

I don't have big Buck teeth.

[B]

He does not.

[A]

He doesn't have big. But that. But the rest of it probably is accurate.

[B]

Yo. I recently watched Kim Possible Holds up still good.

[A]

Never watch an episode of that.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah, movie.

[B]

No way. Yes, you did.

[A]

No, I didn't.

[B]

It was on like. Like before even Stevens or something.

[A]

I mean, I just didn't watch it.

[B]

What? Why? I don't know. Oh, man.

[A]

I also wasn't in.

[B]

She was your basic average girl. She was just here to save the world. You can't stop her, cuz she's. No, it's Kim.

[A]

I had a crush on her though. I like the pants.

[B]

You're wearing them right now.

[A]

I am wearing Kim Possible pants right now.

[B]

You're dressed basically like Kim Possible right now. You just need the red.

[A]

I just need gloves.

[B]

Oh, you're dressed like Ron, her boy. That's who you look like.

[A]

Who's Ron? Wasn't there a guy in the show trying to.

[B]

Ron Stoppable.

[A]

Ron Stoppable, That's.

[B]

You kind of look like that if you had a little bit lighter hair.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You don't think so?

[A]

No.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

Anyway, I could see it, but anyway, the reason why I brought that up is because I would go into her office all the time and we had a good rapport and I thought that we were cool, whatever. And I remember like two years out of middle school, I had sent an email to her like, hey, it's Joe. She had no idea who I was. Two years afterwards. I'm like, bro, we had like a thing.

[B]

We knew each other well. That's not a way to speak about your relationship.

[A]

That's not what I mean. We didn't have a thing. There was nothing like that board.

[B]

Board.

[A]

That sounds weird too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She had a legitimate dartboard that I would play that I. Never mind.

[B]

Yeah. You honestly just buried. You buried yourself a little bit. What was her name? Say it. So everyone knows the potential criminal Ms. Del Valle well, there you go.

[A]

Yeah. Ms. Delvile.

[B]

Damn. So she just forgot you. I like to think that there are teachers.

[A]

I know you like to think. Well, people probably remember you because your mom worked in the school.

[B]

Yeah, like all that. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

But, like, bro, they were.

[B]

They were like, people love you.

[A]

Ms. D. Philippi remembers us.

[B]

I hope so.

[A]

No way.

[B]

Well, she can't, because she's probably. She's probably six feet deep in her sleep. No pajamas. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

I know exactly what you mean.

[B]

I just. I like to think, well, like, my mom had, like, a lot of friends, so, like, they'd know me as Nancy's son. Right, Bro. I had one teacher who was never my teacher. I never did a class with him, anything. He was like, I want to write you a letter recommendation. I was like, I don't know you.

[A]

Who?

[B]

Oh, in high school, I'm going to say, yeah, I've just said every name. Montalvo. He was a nice guy, but, like.

[A]

Never once wanted to hook you up.

[B]

Never once. I thought he was Googling Montalvo.

[A]

He's like, go to LinkedIn.

[B]

I never once, like, had a class. He just knew me through my mom. And he was just like, I want to write you a letter recommendation. I was like, go who for college. Oh. And it was.

[A]

I don't know about that.

[B]

I know, because you never.

[A]

I forged all my. Hello.

[B]

Wait, what?

[A]

Yeah, I wrote a. A letter of recommendation for college, but I made it up.

[B]

Who is it from?

[A]

I made up a name.

[B]

Wait.

[A]

I was like, there's no way they're going to look into this. So I just wrote something.

[B]

So you just made up complete nonsense. And what. I mean, obviously it was not very good because you didn't get any.

[A]

No, I was actually good at writing, so I was able to, like. I. I didn't want to go to college.

[B]

It's hysterical.

[A]

So I remember I told my parents, you're supposed to apply for college in, like, November, December of your senior year.

[B]

Right around then, yeah, maybe a little early.

[A]

And I told my mom I did, and she was like, which schools? And I just, like. I was like, oh, I like, you know, like, starting, like, Sunni schools and shit that I, like, heard of. I was like, and your mom worked.

[B]

At a school, so she's like, yeah.

[A]

She probably had some sort of, like, inkling. And I remember being like, I haven't done any of that. And I never applied for a school. And then when it came to, like, April or something, I went to my guidance counselor and she was like, you should. Are you gonna apply? Because I was honest with her. I was like, I haven't applied to anything. And she's like, apply to Queensborough Community College and they'll accept you, but you need a letter of recommendation.

[B]

So I just wrote one, bro, without exaggeration. I had, like, probably, like, six or seven letters of recommendation.

[A]

Well, you also had a plan to actually go to college. I was just like, I'm just trying to get into this school. I'm gonna lie about this. If they say this is fake and I can't go, cool. I don't care.

[B]

I wrote a letter of recommendation a couple times, and one of them was not a recommendation for the job. It was a.

[A]

You're a piece of. I've asked you for a letter of recommendation. He wrote a bad one.

[B]

And I told them very clearly, like, listen, like. Because they. It was when I was a. Like, a supervisor, and I made it very clear, like, I don't think you would be right for this position. And they said, like, I can. You still, like, I need a letter of recommendation. And I was just like, do you.

[A]

Do you know the word recommendation is, like, the big part? And you didn't recommend?

[B]

Well, a recommendation doesn't need to be in the affirmative. It could be in the, like, I am not recommending this person.

[A]

That is astounding. Of course you told them, like, I'm.

[B]

Going to write something as a supervisor. Let me, let me, let me, Let me. As a supervisor. I had to be fucking honest. And I said, don't. Yes, you do.

[A]

Fake.

[B]

No. Yeah way, Jose.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was very clear. It was someone that I did not have a good working relationship with. I also did not like this person as an individual.

[A]

Did you tell them that it was going to be negative?

[B]

I told them very clearly, like, I don't think you're right for this position. I don't. I think you should ask somebody else. And they were just like, I have nobody else to ask. And I was just like, that's so sad. I agree. But also, like, bro, it's your reputation.

[A]

Why were they bad?

[B]

Not everyone is fucking Quincy the Bebop or whoever you, you know, wrote as your fake letter of recommendation. Like, these are real people. This is my representative, you know, like, it was representing me.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Why were they bad? They were just like, you know, I, I, I.

[A]

Not a good. Like a. Not a good person, or they were just, like, they were late to stuff.

[B]

And, like, just didn't know how to work with people. Well, like, couldn't Read a room. Like they couldn't read or write. Yeah, right. No, no, no. But like, couldn't, like just didn't mesh well and people generally didn't like them because they were too intense. And, and that was all feedback I had given this person during the year. And I had to like, that's so fucked. Why is it fucked? It's honest.

[A]

What if you found out they're homeless?

[B]

If the reason is because of the letter of recommendation, I would feel bad.

[A]

You know that writing that letter means they are not getting the job. Like you are solidifying the fact that they're not getting a job.

[B]

I mean, maybe, but also it's not entirely on letters of recommendation. Like if they went out there and they crushed the interview, that was my thinking.

[A]

I'm like, no one's even going to read this letter of recommendation.

[B]

I mean, yes, they will.

[A]

No they won't.

[B]

Yes they will.

[A]

It's a community college. No one's reading this.

[B]

I mean, maybe they see Joe saying, I got a future YouTube star, I promise. Look alike lover of Mac Miller. They'd say, yeah, let's read this.

[A]

Absolutely no one's going to read that. And if they did read it, like he's going to like, wait, hold on, let me go verify that this person actually exists before I like, bro, it's community.

[B]

Like, I mean jobs do that. Like they do. I'm sure they do.

[A]

I just didn't think that like a.

[B]

Community college would I imagine that it's, it's like you need to like, you don't know if they're going to do it. So like, what if they, what if they pick you as the person to do it to?

[A]

I was like, in my head I'm like, I have good grades. Like I'm like overqualified I guess to get into this. I could definitely get accepted to school because my grades are good and I'm writing a letter of recommendation. Whatever cares. I just kept it very vague in general. I didn't put anything like specific, like top of his class scholar. I just said like, yeah, Joe is.

[B]

Hard working and basic.

[A]

I don't remember exactly what I wrote, but I remember being the irony that.

[B]

They probably, what if they did read it and they were just like, wow, this kid sounds like a really good kid. And then you just don't go back.

[A]

Well, that's what happened.

[B]

I know that's what happened, but. And did you go to college?

[A]

I did.

[B]

Where?

[A]

Baruk in the city.

[B]

Oh, nice. School of business. That's a big school of business. Right.

[A]

Finance. Yeah.

[B]

Did you get your. You got your four year degree? Yep. Good for you. So we're. We're right here, you know, you and I, other dummies.

[A]

We all ended up here. I do want to make one comment. I want to make one comment about.

[B]

We'Ve all ended up working for him. Yeah, we all.

[A]

Yeah. You guys happy with your degrees?

[B]

I don't know the point you're trying to make.

[A]

Yeah. That is I cared more. But we do have sponsors for today. The first one being how you doing, seatgeek. Okay. You guys want to go to a Broadway play? You want to go to a little sports game or something like that? You can do. So with SeatGeek, I have been using them for years. It's the only marketplace that I buy my tickets. Okay. And the basement yard. When we went on tour last year, I saw the tickets on Sea Geek. That was kind of like a full circle moment for me. Me, I'm like, wow, look at this. It's so nice. But right now you can get your tickets. They got Kendrick Lamar is. Is going on tour with Sza, Tyler, the creator, Shakira. That would be awesome. Dua, Lipa, everyone else that you could go to their. Their concerts or whatever, you can do so with Sea Geek, like I said. But yeah, go to. Go to Sea Geek. And I came through for you guys. You know that. All right, we're going to save you 10 on tickets so you can use the code BASEMENT 2025 for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. Okay? So that's 10% off any tickets with the promo code BASEMENT 2025. So if you plan on going to any sort of show that you know requires a ticket and it's on SeatGeek, save that 10%. Use the code BASEMENT 2025. All right? So go download that. Go download that app. And yeah, you're welcome, folks. We also have skims. Okay, Skims. Unbelievable underwear, folks. Skims is the best thing that I've ever put in my body. Frank loves skims. I remember when he came in and he started talking about it. He was like, this is the most comfortable thing that's ever set foot.

[B]

Confirmed.

[A]

Not set foot. That's not what I meant to say.

[B]

That has ever bestowed my bottom.

[A]

That has been a bestowed my bottom. But it was very comfortable, breathable underwear. I don't think I'm going back. Okay. I'm just gonna wear skims for the rest of my life. Put them on. And you thought they were only for women. And Honestly, when they first came out, I think they were just for women. And I was like, that looks very comfortable and I enjoy the colors. Unfortunately, I'm not going to put pantyhose on my body because I think that would look a little strange. But, you know, I have it. It's an, it's an insecurity thing. But then when they have a men's line now and it's very comfortable, I've had it. So any fellows out there or any women out there that want to buy it for their fella, you guys can do. So go to skims.com all right, go to skims.com basement and yeah, go shop. And then after you purchase everything, after you place your order, select the select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. So let them know that we sent you to skims. All right? Like I said, for women out there, if you want your guy to have nice underwear or for fellows out there, you want a nice pair of underwear, which I know as guys, it takes a lot, a long time for us to throw underwear away. It's hanging on by a thread and you're like, no, these are my lucky pair. It's time to upgrade. Okay, go to skims. Get yourself a pair of nice underwear there. Skims.com skims.com basement click on the select podcast in the survey and select our show. Let them know that we sent you. All right?

[B]

Yeah. And if you want something that's not only feeling warm and cozy around your bottom, you want something that's making you feel warm and cozy in your heart, right here in your chest, go to patreon.com thebasementyard where we're gonna have more shows for you. There's gonna be us and you, and it's gonna be a warm, cozy hangout. So, okay, join Patreon and join that first tier and you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you could start your week and end your week with the basement yard. That makes me so happy. Thank you so much. You know, we are so appreciative and grateful, as you guys have seen by now. I hope we are in a new studio and a huge reason we're getting the opportunity to do this is not only love and support we get from everyone across the board, but our friends over on Patreon, so patreon.com the basement yard. Thank you guys so much. We love you. And guess what? Again, if you didn't see we're going over to Europe. We have some shows in Scotland, London, and Dublin. And if you're coming to any of those shows, make sure you go to the basementyard.com submit. Let us know what car show you're coming to and submit responses to the questions we have there. A big part of these shows that we did last year and we want to do it again this year, is they're interactive. We talk to you, you talk to us. Crazy stories, bing, bang, boom. It's insane. It's. Maybe not. But if you go and you submit it, maybe we'll pick your card. Maybe we'll talk to you about you. We can also, if you ask to be anonymous, put that in there, whatever. But go to the basementyard.com submit. Let us know what show you're coming to. Submit your response. And you never know. Maybe we'll talk at the shows. All right, Back to Joe. That was my transition noise.

[A]

I figured that was it.

[B]

Did you like that?

[A]

Someone's calling me.

[B]

Oh, who is it?

[A]

Don't know the number. Not picking it up. Never pick. Scary, scary, scary, scary.

[B]

I'm scary. Did I even tell you? I used to, like, like, mess with those scam callers.

[A]

I've done that.

[B]

I've keep. I kept them on the phone for, like, five, ten minutes.

[A]

We were like hall of fame prank callers back in the day.

[B]

I stand by. I was a great prank caller. Prank called one of our friends as a girl, saying I wanted to get intimate with them.

[A]

And I'm sure you didn't use that language.

[B]

Oh, no. Yeah. No. And do you remember?

[A]

I remember you.

[B]

Do you remember?

[A]

I know that I don't. I don't know that specific story about that, but I do remember you cyber prank calling one of our friends, meaning you created a screen name, and we're, like, flirting with one of our friends.

[B]

Catfishing, catfishing, catfishing.

[A]

And I remember the screening was skeet on my face. XX3X's was it? It was skied on my face. That I know for sure. And you're like, oh, hey, how you doing? You're so hot. And they were like, whoa. What?

[B]

Really?

[A]

And the screening was literally skied on my face.

[B]

I remember. I remember the skeeting, like, in the screen name. Let's make that very clear.

[A]

We did.

[B]

Yeah, but it was all fun. It was just bros hanging in.

[A]

It's just prank pranking the guys and having fun. Right?

[B]

I remember one time I prank called one of our friends, and I was just like, like, like, can I, like, come and, like, touch your balls. And like, he was, like, with other friends of ours, and he was just like, yo, she wants. She's. She's down. You remember everyone would always say, like, dtf.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know, and then I would, like, pretended like my boyfriend took the phone and he was just like, oh, all right, come through. Like, let's fight. And then he. You could hear. I remember hearing our friend to our other friend say, like, yo, you got the hammer, Stop. And then he said, like, they're in the cut. Because I said, like, I'm coming to get you.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

And we showed up and it was you and it was me.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You're an idiot.

[B]

It was so fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So fun to be a kid and mess around with your friends. Have a little bit of good times, you know?

[A]

Yeah, I do know exactly what you mean.

[B]

But I was a good prank caller. Maybe we should do episodes of prank calling people.

[A]

I'm not gonna prank call anyone.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

I mean, I'm. Because I'm, you know, an adult. That's part of it.

[B]

That's.

[A]

That's a big part of it, I would say.

[B]

Was the last time you prank called someone.

[A]

A very long time, man.

[B]

Well, that was the time. We remember there was a show. Crank Yankers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you remember there's like, puppets that were like. Yeah, prank calling.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then there was the. The infamous prank call that you kicked my dog. That's like 20, almost 23.

[A]

Or that is a white guy doing a seemingly Indian man's accent.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Problematic.

[B]

A little bit. And you know, you know it. I doesn't.

[A]

But a classic. But a classic.

[B]

It's not. It was. It definitely was.

[A]

That was the funniest thing in the world at one point.

[B]

No, the funniest thing in the world was the Arnold Schwarzenegger's pizza shop. Yeah.

[A]

But not many people know that.

[B]

I. I'm shocked.

[A]

If you want something crazy like pineapple, I'll kill you.

[B]

I recently brought that up to someone and they were just like, Arnold's Pizza Shop. And I was just like, sit down, Frank.

[A]

You lived on that. Whatever website that was.

[B]

Don't even pretend you don't remember Funny junk dot com.

[A]

Funny junk.

[B]

Okay. There were some problematic ones on there too. Like, of course, some ones that were not nice.

[A]

Right.

[B]

We know which one we're referencing.

[A]

Are we referencing the one where someone works in a drive thru, have some sort of issue?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And we're just exploring.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Do you Remember the Numa Numa video?

[B]

Why was.

[A]

What is that guy doing? This guy, he's just doing this.

[B]

He did. I mean, I got to say, incredible karaoke skills.

[A]

Lip syncing, you mean?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I mean. Oh, yeah, that's. Yeah, you're right. I mean, he crushed that lip syncing.

[A]

Yeah, he did a great job.

[B]

Where is the Numa Numa guy? Can you look that up? Numa Numa guy, man. The Numa Numa guy.

[A]

Oh, he's on stage singing. He's in a band. Good for him. His name's Gary.

[B]

Is he go to. Go to Wikipedia? That's always a trusted.

[A]

Where is he from? Norway or something?

[B]

No, that looks like. That is.

[A]

What do you think? What do we think here?

[B]

He's in movies.

[A]

No one movie.

[B]

Oh, it's like a student film or something.

[A]

Where's he from?

[B]

New grounds. It was on newgrounds.com.

[A]

The fuck is New Grounds?

[B]

You never remember New Grounds. And you remember New Grounds. I do.

[A]

I do remember.

[B]

Yeah. Just go to, like, where he is now. I don't care about all this stuff, like seeing. I'll just type in his name. Just scroll at the bottom of that. It wouldn't tell you.

[A]

We'll figure it out.

[B]

Yeah, I'll look. You look that up.

[A]

But the new My Numa guy, if he, like, went viral, now you probably become an Internet celebrity and make a bunch of money. That's your career.

[B]

And then start a coin and then take it and then disappear. And people are thinking, where are you?

[A]

I'll let everyone who's watching this know right now. If we create a. I'm giving you the heads up. If we create a meme coin, I.

[B]

Will rug pull it.

[A]

So if we create a meme coin, don't, you know, give us the money?

[B]

At least you're being honest.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. I am going to rug pull it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you will lose money. So do not.

[B]

This is what is going to happen. If we, like, the coin will be called, like, bsmt.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It'll be called Basement coin.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Don't buy it.

[A]

Don't.

[B]

If we release it, things have gotten real tough here.

[A]

But I'm.

[B]

I'm pulling it. I'm rug pulling. And let us crash and burn. If it gets to a point where we release that coin, let us, like, you know, like. Oh, man. Like, things are not going well. Let it go.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Let it go right where it deserves to be.

[A]

What I'm letting you know right now. The rug.

[B]

Yeah. How much do we know, we're obviously, I think millions. We're referencing Haley hawked to a welch. And we're not accusing her of orchestrating anything, but the evidence doesn't look great.

[A]

Yeah, I think that there's a.

[B]

How much did they make off of that coin?

[A]

Millions, I assume.

[B]

Bro, she, like. I'm not even kidding. If it comes out, like, she does get, like, in trouble criminally. The movie about the July to January part of her life is going to be insane.

[A]

Dude, movie is crazy. Maybe a Netflix. Netflix doc, maybe. But, like, it's kind of crazy, though.

[B]

Oh, you gotta do this. How much did they.

[A]

It does say that her coin reached a market cap of around 500 million. Yeah, but I don't know what that. What? Yeah, but that doesn't mean that it's worth 500 million market cap, dude. I don't know what that means, though, to be honest. I don't know how much she, like, walked away with. I also don't even know what a rug pull is.

[B]

I'm sorry. Maybe. Maybe we do do this. I mean, well, I'm saying be very clear. It is a crime. We.

[A]

Yeah, I'm admitting to a crime that I may or may not commit in the future. I'm just letting you know.

[B]

No, that's literally how people get in trouble. Don't do that. Say you're not going to do it.

[A]

I'm not going to create a meme coin.

[B]

Okay. Just want to make sure that the lawyer.

[A]

I'll just go make pizzas before I did that. But I'm just letting everyone know. Be smart. But if you. If you see me making a meme coin, it's not going to the moon. It's getting a third of the way there. And then I'm hanging and I'm leaving.

[B]

I mean, 500 million, that's. That's to the moon.

[A]

I don't think that means it's worth 500 million, bro.

[B]

If, if, if, if it was. I'm pushing you to create a coin tomorrow.

[A]

Yeah, well, well, Frank, if I'm rug pulling, I'm pulling the wool as well. The rugs getting pulled.

[B]

The wool?

[A]

The wool over your eyes. You think I'm giving you $1? I'm rug pulling innocent people. So you're not getting 500 million.

[B]

You're. Why?

[A]

500 million and I'm running away.

[B]

Is the rug made of wool? I don't get it.

[A]

No, you're a rug pull is what that's called. But why are there pulling the wool over your eyes? You never heard that expression?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay, well, welcome to adulthood in planet Earth. Because that's an expression everyone's been using for years.

[B]

Pulling the wool over someone's eyes. How many sheep. How many sheep are you talking to that you can just regular like. That doesn't make sense. What does that mean, Frank?

[A]

You know that exists. Pull the wool of your eyes. It's a phrase. It means to fool you.

[B]

Okay, okay. No, no, no, no, no, no. It does sound familiar. To trick or deceive. Okay, I'm sorry, I was confused because you were talking rugs. I'm thinking you have rugs of wool.

[A]

No. Can you do that?

[B]

You can make rugs of anything. Human skin, wool.

[A]

Human skin?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No.

[B]

You don't think so?

[A]

No. But anyway, we do have some more sponsors.

[B]

Really?

[A]

For today?

[B]

Yeah, dude, we have some more.

[A]

We have him. So all the fellows out there, if you're losing your hair, it doesn't mean you can't find it again. Okay? Also, you can do some preventative stuff if you've seen some like, issues. We're like, all right, I'm getting a little bit of a receding sort of thing. Then you want to be proactive about that. You can do so with hymns. Okay? Men value different things about their appearance, but if you're a guy who really cares about your hair and you see that slowly going away, you might be feeling discouraged when you look in the mirror. HIMSA is gonna help you out with that, okay? It makes treating hair loss simple with doctor trusted options and clinically proven ingredients to help regrow your hair in as little as three to six months. Okay. You can choose from personalized chewable oral spray or serum treatments to find what works best for you. The process is simple and 100% online. There's no insurance needed and one low price covers everything from treatments to ongoing care.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

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[B]

Yeah, during the flight. The pilot came out into the main cabin and proposed to his girlfriend.

[A]

Why was she on the flight that he was flying?

[B]

I don't know. I think it's like a horny thing maybe, right? You know how people like to do like, I'm at your place of work and I'm here. You know, like they do stuff like that. No. Am I crazy?

[A]

Is Becca here or something? What are you talking about?

[B]

I wish. I wish.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, now that I'm thinking about it.

[B]

That'S kind of like, like, like Wedding Singer.

[A]

Remember? He, like, he get. He's playing the guitar on a plane.

[B]

I don't remember that.

[A]

Drew Barrymore.

[B]

I don't remember that part. Or care for it? No. Yeah, so I think it's. It's funny because, like, I think the story came out and she said. Yes, but imagine, she said, imagine, bro. Imagine being on that flight.

[A]

Wait, did he propose over the pa?

[B]

No, he, like walked out to her. Planes can like fly themselves. Like now there's like autopilot and like that.

[A]

And there's two pilots now, bro. Of course, for years. You're acting like it's 1901.

[B]

I mean, I don't know. When did they bring out autopilot? When did they roll it out?

[A]

I. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say the 70s, 70s, 100.

[B]

I'm saying 90s, brother.

[A]

No way. They've been doing that forever.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Autopilot.

[B]

How hard is that?

[A]

You lock the steering wheel and you just go, baby.

[B]

Yeah, but, like, it's way smarter now.

[A]

No, it's probably older, if anything. 19. No, bro, that's.

[B]

Come on now, you dumb idiot.

[A]

That says 19.

[B]

Now you almost. If, Bro, if we've had that since 1912.

[A]

What kind of question did you type in?

[B]

What does it say?

[A]

Just type.

[B]

When were planes able to automatically fly? Okay, okay, okay.

[A]

When was planes automatically flies?

[B]

When was autopilot invented? Same answer was invented in 1912 by the Sperry. The people that made my boots. I don't know why Sperry Corporation designed to reduce the pilot's workload. This doesn't make sense. I mean, it is the 1912 that.

[A]

What I made the joke of being like, this ain't 1901.

[B]

Well, 10 years later, they had it.

[A]

An apology, maybe?

[B]

No, fuck you. For what?

[A]

You.

[B]

You. You did type that like an idiot, to be fair.

[A]

Also, I just fired you back there for pulling up a picture of a naked mole rat. That's true. Saying that is right.

[B]

You would. Technically, you are.

[A]

You're off the clock.

[B]

Wait, no, no, this can't be right. Like, all right, look up, like, now planes can fly by themselves. When did that happen?

[A]

What?

[B]

No, no. Like, there's a autopilot. Like, it might, like, lock the thing. But, like, now. Like, basically, they click a button and it follows a path. Like, when did. When did. I guess.

[A]

Autopilot? You're describing autopilot. I think that's might. That might be what you're doing here.

[B]

When, when, when.

[A]

And there's no other way to ask this question. We're gonna get this.

[B]

All right, Type this.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

When did planes become as smart as they are?

[A]

Yo, Frank. Is AI's worst nightmare aircrafts of the 21st century.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

So that's just a big white guy.

[B]

That is this big ass.

[A]

We're not reading that. Yeah, Frank, the answer is 1912. That's astounding.

[B]

That's not. That doesn't make sense.

[A]

Think about it. Amelia Earhart. That was so long ago.

[B]

When was that? When was amelia Earhart? The 30s.

[A]

Oh, it was. It was like 29 or something like that.

[B]

That was the Great Depression. Yeah.

[A]

So people were upset, but she was flying planes and that Made her happy, which is nice. You should find a hobby in.

[B]

Oh, I have some bad news for the people that something happened on that plane that she took.

[A]

Well, no, she had some good flights.

[B]

She did, but then she had some one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Really not.

[A]

Unfortunately, if you have one really bad flight, there's no more talk about.

[B]

This is. We're about to fly to Vancouver. Please. God almighty.

[A]

It's totally fine. But anyway, asking, like, getting like, hello, proposing to your wife on a plane.

[B]

Well, you're not proposing to your wife. You're proposing to your girlfriend or partner.

[A]

Okay. You know, technical Frank here, he is Technical Frank.

[B]

Not just technical. Not just technical. That's just. It's a correction.

[A]

Technical Frank. One of the worst places to get engaged. What is the worst way to propose to your girlfriend?

[B]

I mean, that's pretty bad because, like, what if the person being proposed, who says no, this pilot needs to go fly this plane.

[A]

I'm creating a clip. Frank, what is the worst way to get engaged? Like, what's the worst way to propose to your girlfriend?

[B]

Ah. Oh, it's gotta be flash mob.

[A]

That's a bad one.

[B]

That's so bad.

[A]

Dude, can we I just. Together.

[B]

Collections of people dancing.

[A]

I hate that too. Well, unless they're on a stage, but. But don't be on the floor.

[B]

If you're on level ground that I am, like, I can stand face to face with you and you're dancing. Get the fuck out of here.

[A]

Or you're on hardwood. Like, if you're like a Nick City dancer or something, like, that's fine. But like, yo, you're in Grand Central Station and you're all dancing, bro.

[B]

If I walk, they. I got recruited to be in a. In a flash mob once and I respectfully declined.

[A]

How do you get. It was like a cult.

[B]

Someone reached out to me and says, I want to do a flash mob. Do you want to be in it? We're going to make it go viral.

[A]

Did it go viral?

[B]

No, Joey, absolutely. Of course not. Because that was the thing that people said just to like get people excited in 2010, you know, it was like, we're going to make something and it's going to. It has all the key components to go viral.

[A]

So would you have to show up to practice? Because I'm assuming everyone has to learn.

[B]

The dance, you know, I. I said no. So I don't. I didn't go that far. But like, I remember it was like in like the cafeteria, like where people. Like the food hall on campus.

[A]

Oh my God. They wanted to Do a flash mob in campus, and, bro, they had a.

[B]

Big stairwell coming down so, like, everyone could see them. Like, it was.

[A]

It was so that everyone can clearly see the people that they don't want to have sex with.

[B]

Yeah. Yes, absolutely.

[A]

Flash mob is pretty bad. Can you imagine? It's like, will you marry me? And then, like, 10 people.

[B]

I'll tell you this. If the song marry you by Bruno Mars is involved at all, pretty bad. Just say no.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And if you're getting proposed to Disney.

[A]

Proposals are pretty bad. Oh, here's Mickey Mouse. Just kidding. He's got the ring. Like, what are we doing?

[B]

I want you to make me the happiest boy ever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Anytime. Anytime I can get in there.

[A]

You go.

[B]

Anytime I can get in there. No, yeah, like, just make it, like, absolutely. Like, you know, like, here comes Goofy. What's in Goofy's hand?

[A]

Where did you propose?

[B]

There was a little beach by where we lived.

[A]

But not public. Like, there wasn't people around, right?

[B]

No, no, no. It was just myself, Becca, and Miles.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

And there was a.

[A]

Did you tell Miles?

[B]

No, because he would have immediately, like, told her. Yeah.

[A]

Also, you proposed to both of them?

[B]

Of course. Yeah. Because that's. That's what my life was going to become.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, but, like, was he shocked?

[A]

Did he say yes?

[B]

Does he say yes? I didn't ask him. He was very excited.

[A]

Okay, cool.

[B]

You know, but it was. It was. I was like. I had the ring. I had asked her father, and I looked outside, and it was the craziest sunset I've ever seen in mind, to this day, the craziest sunset I've ever seen in my entire life. Like, neon pink and purple and orange.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And I. And I was just like, oh, like, this is this. There's no better time. So I was like, why don't we go walk down to the little beach to see the sunset?

[A]

Oh, you slick.

[B]

I was a slick little.

[A]

How. How much time? How long did you hold on to the ring?

[B]

A couple weeks, maybe a couple days, but it wasn't very long.

[A]

A couple weeks and a couple days or astronomer.

[B]

All right, maybe a couple weeks, but it wasn't very, very long. Okay. You know, and I. Because I know, like, once I have a gift, I want to give it to that person.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What?

[A]

I mean, yeah.

[B]

So, yeah. And I asked, and she. Her response was, what, babe? Miles made fun of her after that. He would always make fun of her.

[A]

Was there any rules leading up to that where she was like, yo, don't do it at a restaurant or anything like that.

[B]

Not that I remember.

[A]

You know, I don't know that I would like a restaurant.

[B]

I think. I think the public aspect of it puts a lot of pressure on.

[A]

I'll tell you this. If anyone's clapping, I am not comfortable.

[B]

If I hear. Oh, my God, you know, like.

[A]

Yeah, like, if you're like, in Central park and then getting down on the knee and then everyone stops and they're like, clapping and they're just waiting, I'd.

[B]

Be like, dude, sports, games, sports. When they pull it up on the Jumbotron and it's just like, happy birthday to sue and Ben. And lastly, Ben's got a question. Michelle, will you marry me? And it cuts to them and everyone's like.

[A]

And it's like, there's a guy in the corner and he's got a popcorn and a hot dog, and he's like, oh, yeah.

[B]

It's like, oh, oh. And. And like, everyone's just like, look, look, look. And like, that is. That is. That seems. But honestly, like, it's individual. Like, some people want the pomping circumstance. Like, they want it to be big and insane.

[A]

No, it's.

[B]

So would you. Have you ever thought about any ways of proposing?

[A]

I mean, I would just. I know. I've only thought about things that I would not do.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Like, I've only.

[B]

So you're not going to Disney? I think we definitely not confidently rule out a flash mob.

[A]

We can confidently rule out. I saw a video recently of a guy filming a proposal, but he was, like, not, like, part of it. He was just, like, seeing it happen because it was like, on the beach and there was like a whole thing and this, like, rug. And the woman's there, and she's just sitting there or standing there, and the guy has. It's him and two background dancers and they're doing a choreographed dance. And I'm like, I've never been more certain that a marriage is not gonna last.

[B]

I'll be honest with you, Corey. Out of place choreography terrifies me. It makes my skin crawl. If the.

[A]

If there's not stage lights on you.

[B]

Like, why are you dancing so intensely in a park? You shouldn't be doing this too much. And like, like, over, like, intense choreography. I just see it and I wince a. A little bit.

[A]

Yeah. And it's like, you can tell that this dude, like, took classes for this.

[B]

Like, he. Oh, my God. He was in on the choreography with the dancers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's bad.

[A]

It's like, will you marry me? And Then backing up and being.

[B]

He's like, will you marry me right now?

[A]

Yeah. I just say no before he starts.

[B]

You know why? I think, like, the current Internet age has, like, ruined choreography for me.

[A]

Like, oh, like, tik tok.

[B]

Tik toks. And, like, you know, like, even that.

[A]

Kind of, like, came and went, though. Like, I think people are over the choreographed dance on Tik Tok.

[B]

I think maybe it's just our algorithm. I. I have a feeling probably still very popular amongst a certain age range of people. It could be like, bro, people got famous off of that. Like, the. What's the girl that had the. The McDonald's. Not the McDonald's.

[A]

Oh, Charlie D'Amelio.

[B]

Yes. The. The Dunkin Donuts drink.

[A]

She's the most followed person on the app, I think.

[B]

There you go. She got famous doing those dances, right?

[A]

Well, yeah. She's like, a dance. She's on Broadway, I think.

[B]

Yes. Yeah, I saw her at the Thanksgiving Day. Not at there. I wasn't there. I saw it on tv. But, like, you know, what a psychotic.

[A]

Thing to go to.

[B]

Parade.

[A]

Thanksgiving Day parade.

[B]

If you propose to someone at a parade.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Like, if there's a parade float.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

If there's, like, a big inflatable, like, Elmo making its way down and you're like, quick, I need to ask for your hand in marriage. You fucked up.

[A]

I do wish that I lived in Manhattan on the path so that I could just see, like, a giant.

[B]

Like, if you lived in Manhattan on that path, that's like, it goes a very specific route. Like, it's very expensive to live there. No, I thought it was just.

[A]

I don't know where it goes, to be honest.

[B]

Doesn't go down 6th Avenue.

[A]

Knows. But, like, I mean, I don't know.

[B]

People live there. I mean, that's crazy. If I. Bro, if I imagine a.

[A]

Big balloon past your window.

[B]

That's scary. That'd be scary.

[A]

It would be like Godzilla.

[B]

And is that not scary?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Let me answer for you. It is scary.

[A]

You know how some people have, like, a fear of gigantic things? I feel like I have the opposite.

[B]

You have a. You have a fear of little. Little baby. Little babies.

[A]

No, no, no. I mean, like, I like a giant thing, but I'm not. I don't mean, like, because there's some people that are like, oh, I want a big giant woman to step on my head. That's not what I mean.

[B]

I wasn't even going that route. I was going with big, giant dongs.

[A]

Oh, no, that's not what I mean either. I don't like big, giant dongs.

[B]

So you like little dogs?

[A]

I don't like any dongs, dude. I like my own dong. And that's where I draw the line.

[B]

The only dong you've ever liked? Yeah. No other dongs in the world that you're just like, this isn't the worst dong.

[A]

Ding, dong, ditch. I like that.

[B]

That is. You know, I saw a tortoise dong recently. Have you seen this thing?

[A]

A tortoise's penis?

[B]

Yes. Dude, they're like 800 years old.

[A]

They gotta have crazy ones.

[B]

Dude, this thing looks like an alien. Look up tortoise.

[A]

You want me to look up tortoise penis?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, and search for videos? Yo, this thing don't search for videos. Yeah, yeah, no, no. That's where you saw where I saw it, and it was crazy.

[A]

What website were you on?

[B]

I don't remember where it was, but I saw it.

[A]

Tortoise. He's typing in. Well, first of all, we just found out that Ant can't spell.

[B]

And you guys went to the same high school.

[A]

Well, this is not going to be able to be shown if we're gonna put.

[B]

Yeah, no, no. This is just for us.

[A]

This is.

[B]

Look at videos. That.

[A]

Is that what you want? Is that his leg?

[B]

No. Well.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Is that his?

[A]

That looks like a hoof.

[B]

Dude, look up the video.

[A]

Dude, you really.

[B]

Okay, look up the video.

[A]

What's happening in the video?

[B]

It's just. It's doing its dong.

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

It's being a dong, dude. It's scary.

[A]

Don't. I don't want to watch it. Oh, get that off the screen.

[B]

That's gross.

[A]

Josh. Don't put this in. Don't. Don't put this in. First of all, that title said wtf, exclamation point. Wanking tortoise. What are you looking at?

[B]

See that video? Just to make it very clear, that's not the video that I saw. Oh, you saw a different one of a tortoise. Different. Different. Yeah.

[A]

That is way bigger than I thought it was going to be, by the way.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but what other ways are bad to. You know, Disney is bad because, like, you're both wearing Disney ears and, like, they're trying to do it with, like, the fucking castle in the background.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And listen, if you gotten proposed in any of these ways and it's special to you, that's on you. We're just speaking for everyone else.

[A]

Yeah, I'm happy for You. But I.

[B]

But I hate you.

[A]

I would. I would say no to you is what I mean. So that you ever see the video. I mean, this is very, like, progressive, I guess, but they were in Disney, and it was a.

[B]

I don't. Don't just say it. A person.

[A]

Two people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, but they were proposing to each other.

[B]

Good for them.

[A]

I was like, what are the chances of that happening?

[B]

Well, any. Any proposal, there's. You imagine there's been. I shouldn't say any. The ones that are going to probably say yes. There's been conversation about, like, what kind of ring do you want? What kind of. Do you want a ring? What do you think about this? Like, bro, the people that just, like, say, like, you know what? I'm just gonna propose with no conversation. 1. Good on you two. You're an idiot, dude.

[A]

People who get a no, I, I, I would literally. If I'm on a knee and the woman that I'm asking to marry me says no, I'm just gonna stay there until I.

[B]

Is the relationship over, or do you.

[A]

The relationship is definitely over. 1, 2. I may not get up. I'm just probably gonna lie down right there. I'm just gonna sit, crisscross applesauce, and just wait for the wind to take me.

[B]

Smart. Honestly.

[A]

Clean that up.

[B]

Yeah, don't worry.

[A]

I'm on top of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not getting up. I'm just gonna be like, okay, I'm gonna stay down here. You can go. You're free to go. I'm gonna.

[B]

Would you even ask why? Like, would you want. You wouldn't want any. Because, honestly, if I propose to Becca and she said no, I'd be like, why? That would be the first thing out of my mouth. Like, huh.

[A]

I would.

[B]

Or maybe.

[A]

Yeah, definitely. Maybe what you just did the most, like, anime.

[B]

Like, oh.

[A]

Like, I. I would immediately think that I'm an idiot, because I'd be like.

[B]

I should have known you'd go into, like, full dobby mode. Like, dobby's a bad elf. And, like, hit your head on the fucking floor. No.

[A]

You know what I've been doing recently from Harry Potter just in my apartment, just going, he's back. Voldemort's back. I've just been firing those off. Right.

[B]

It's been real fun in your apartment lately, huh?

[A]

I have a lot of fun. First of all, don't talk to me. The person who talks to himself more than anyone I've ever met.

[B]

First of all, yes. Second of all, you know what I've been doing. You know what I'm noise. You know what I've been doing. You know what I've been doing.

[A]

Tell me. I love these.

[B]

Yeah, this is a good one. He's like, fame isn't everything.

[A]

I take it back. That's.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Well. Oh, you do that to your children?

[B]

I do. I do it to Miles all the time.

[A]

He's back.

[B]

Voldemort's back. Yo. Did you ever hear Ariana Grande's impression of Emma Watson? Watson, where she's like, run's been splinched.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, she does a really good impression.

[A]

I feel like we're going a little crazy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I think I'm more of like a. Like, it's a. It's an impression.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I wasn't like, oh, my God, that sounds like Emma. Like, yeah, I thought it was pretty good.

[B]

Okay. But, yeah, proposing at theme parks, flash mobs, bad sports, Very bad. Any. Any, like, choreographed dance, Horrific. That's just. That's just bad. I don't like that, because then how do you dance your way out of a no?

[A]

You know, you must know by the look in your girlfriend's eyes as you're dancing and being like, oh, fuck, she's not into this. I've made a grave mistake. You know, like, you're, like, dancing, and she's just, like, horrified, and you're like.

[B]

What do you mean, we're not ready?

[A]

She's like, I feel like she's not into this the way that I thought she was going to be.

[B]

I think we could work on it. If that's something you want to do.

[A]

If you're not ready, say that, but it feels like a hard no. Are you or is this the end of us?

[B]

Yeah, I've seen it. You have to know, I've seen in movies, people just being, like, proposing, and they're like, what? Why? When we should have talked about this, bro. That.

[A]

No, bro, that's crazy. I think that if you propose and you get a no, you're an idiot. You have to know that.

[B]

I mean, there are no. There are people that are so stupid that they just don't get it. You know, I just feel like you.

[A]

Have to have some sort of inkling, like, this isn't the time.

[B]

If you have proposed someone and they said, no, I'm not calling you stupid, but there are people that are stupid.

[A]

I am not saying stupid. I'm saying more. Either you're purposefully being oblivious or you're purposefully ignoring Signs.

[B]

Well, that. That is what a lot of people like. A lot of people find it easier to just live in the delusion and world of the relationship in their own head than the reality of what it is.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's what I mean, what you do.

[A]

But not with your relationship. With everything else, probably.

[B]

What the fuck is that? What does that mean?

[A]

Do you remember we had that conversation where you're like, if I'm driving and my engines making a lot of noise but no light turns on.

[B]

I'm just kidding. That's right. That's right. Because it's kind of the same thing. It is.

[A]

There's no issue until you find out there's an issue.

[B]

Hey, man. Dancing through life Skimming the surface Gliding where turf is smooth Life's more painless for the brainless. You know what I'm saying? Why think too hard when it's so soothing? Dancing through life no need to tough it when you can slough it off I do Nothing matters and knowing nothing matters it's just life so keep dancing.

[A]

Through I'm gonna have to hold up a Shazam. What's that from? High School Musical or some shit?

[B]

That's from Wicked Bitch.

[A]

Got it. That's not good. People are not gonna like that. I didn't know that. Can you look up the worst. The worst ways to get engaged? Can you zoom in on this a little bit? Cause I can't see.

[B]

Where's are these other ones? I think during the recording.

[A]

Can you zoom in a little bit?

[B]

I can't hear.

[A]

I could.

[B]

I could. Oh, what about. What about.

[A]

What about getting fired for the second time in one episode? How about that?

[B]

Zoom in. What about people that do, like, the Proposal in the champagne glass or like in a cupcake or a cookie or something like that?

[A]

If I have to dig. First of all, if I'm buying a ring for thousands of dollars, it's not going to go.

[B]

I'm not putting it in champagne going in someone's mouth.

[A]

And it's not. I'm not running the risk of someone eating it accidentally, like, oh, it's in your steak.

[B]

How funny would that be if they ate it?

[A]

I'm sure that's happened.

[B]

I mean, of course I'm sure it's happened, bro. You're like, the person's like a dog. Like, you have to put the pill in the steak and then give it to their dog.

[A]

Or like, you put it in the champagne. It's like, now I have to fish this out of crap.

[B]

Oh, of champagne. I thought you meant, like, if they swallow it.

[A]

No.

[B]

Bro, could you imagine you buy a. An engagement. Well, also, what is the amount you should spend on an engagement ring? Is it. Is it still three months salary or three months pay?

[A]

I don't know, because, like, just get.

[B]

A lab grow, let's say. All right, you're obviously doing well for yourself, Mr. Durst. Roland just came out. You know, you just really released your new album. Chocolate, Starfish, and the Hot Dog Flavored water.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Things are going well for you. Okay, what if in three months, you make $100,000?

[A]

No, I'm not.

[B]

You're gonna spend. If I'm spending $100,000 on a ring, I'm not. It's not going near anyone's mouth.

[A]

Right. But I also, like. I mean, I think you have to weigh the options. Like, if you're gonna get, like, an egregious ring, you're making your wife a target. Oh, okay. We were talking about eating cupcakes. This one says, my best friend swears he proposed by pretending to find a ring while eating out his girlfriend and asking her whose ring it was. He has never wavered from the story.

[B]

If, first of all, you can ask the person that he allegedly did this to, did this actually happen?

[A]

That's so fire.

[B]

Because for him to be like, oh.

[A]

What the hell is this?

[B]

What is that? Like, how do you.

[A]

It's like, look behind your ear and.

[B]

Also ripping you out of the moment. Like, where's the magic is gone?

[A]

Not only that, but I'm such a hypochondriac that I could be convinced that something came out of me. And then I'd be like, I'm going to the doctor. A ring was in me.

[B]

If someone ate you out and they found a ring, Right.

[A]

If someone was eating my butt and was like, I. I. I would think that someone, like, put a ring in my food and I ate it. Like that.

[B]

It out. Yeah. In their face. Yeah.

[A]

I'd be scared.

[B]

Dude, at the. At the wedding. You threw them at the surprise.

[A]

Surprise wedding.

[B]

Oh, that's another one. When people propose at someone else's wedding.

[A]

That is so insane. Insane.

[B]

Yeah. I would be a little. I'd be. I mean, listen, if someone came to me and said, like, I'm thinking about doing this, and I thought on it, I was like, all right, go for it. That's different. But if they didn't tell anyone and they just did it, first of all.

[A]

I'd be like, do you. I'm gonna hit you. Don't. It. Don't get engaged.

[B]

I know I'm saying I would say no, but, like, maybe it's like a real thoughtful moment where, you know, I.

[A]

Mean, wait 24 hours. Do it at the brunch. How about that?

[B]

But some people. I'm just saying some people do allow it to happen. I know, but if they, if they just don't even say anything and they're like, I'm just going to do.

[A]

That's insane.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

What else do we got?

[B]

Show her the ring then put both hands behind your back. Say, pick a hand. Now. Oops, wrong hand. No proposal this time. I, I, if someone ever does that.

[A]

Yeah, that's, that's not good. That's way too long. I'm not reading that. What is wrong with people? They have, they don't have jobs. They're writing fucking essays. Is hunting where you're miles away from anybody else?

[B]

That's a little tough.

[A]

Yeah, that's a little scary. I don't want to get engaged when there's guns around or out on a boat where there's no one around.

[B]

I mean, if it's just you two and, like, it's like, you, you've talked about it. That's sweet. Like, then it's magical for your moment. But, like, yeah, what if. Then you, yeah, then you're putting the person in the position of, like, if they say no, they might end up over.

[A]

I think that everyone. My actual opinion is that everyone should get engaged in a way that is special as a couple. Don't do anything that's like, well, I like this. So we're gonna do it here. Like, find something that works for you. And if that's fucking Disney and you're both holding churros, and that's what it is, fine.

[B]

Yeah. Not for me. Honestly, a proposal, like, the moment it's going to happen should be a surprise, but, like, the way it's happening should be discussed in my way, you know? Like, yeah, at least get a, get.

[A]

An inkling, an idea.

[B]

Listen, every couple. I don't say this. I, I'm not going to say every couple. The way that Becca and I did it when we were approaching, like, that's the next logical step is getting proposed, you know, getting engaged, getting married, having a family. There's a lot of conversation that goes into it. Like, at least on our end, like, we were open, so we were just like, rings, and we talked all that out. Then the, like, then the little minute details you could figure out, but, like, the larger stuff, like, bro, if I was, could you imagine Becca doesn't like the idea of her getting on a stage would maybe scare her a little bit. Could you imagine if I proposed to her on stage at, like, Radio City? Like, the pressure you're putting on that.

[A]

Person, that's kind of an end is crazy. Yeah. I mean, at that point, if I'm. See, that's why I think that's a bad idea. Because I would never want to put someone in a position where they feel like they can't say no if they needed to.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Because, like. Oh, so many people are watching. Like, I'd rather just like. Yeah, actually, now that I'm thinking about it, but.

[B]

Well, we also did. We also did have someone propose at one of our shows, and we kind of.

[A]

And she said yes. Thank God.

[B]

She said yes. Thank God. And also he. I think he told us, like, in communication. Like, we've discussed weddings and marriage as a. As, like, it's going to happen. She just doesn't know when.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

You know?

[A]

But, dude, can you imagine? First of all, selfishly, if she did say no, the show would have went probably a lot.

[B]

This is real. When we were planning it, we said, like, what if we, like, stopped for a second? We were like, oh, my God, what if she says no? And then me, you, and Greg at the same time went, that would be hysterical. That would be awesome.

[A]

Yeah, It'd be not good for the dude. And I would feel really bad for him, but that would be crazy.

[B]

It'd be funny because we'd be like, we still had the graphic ready to go, you know, Rats. You know, like, she said yes, right? She didn't. And then, like, the champagne was coming out.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, I got champagne, man. That's tough.

[B]

Good times.

[A]

I would feel really bad.

[B]

Really good.

[A]

This just says, at a funeral, bro, you're not getting engaged at a funeral. That's insane. Dead body in the room. And you're gonna be like, hey, you want to do this? Till death do.

[B]

The worst part, I could see something.

[A]

Romantic about it about getting engaged at a funeral.

[B]

Yeah. Like, if it's like, you know, Meemaw went down and it's just like, when one, one.

[A]

One door closes, I can't. I cry at everyone's funeral.

[B]

Really? Everyone?

[A]

Yeah, like, people I don't even know.

[B]

You cry at mine. Bananas.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Well, I don't. Like, will it be a point where, like, are you gonna do the old man route? Like, we had a lot of good memories, and I have nothing to cry about because we have a lot.

[A]

Well, I don't sound like that.

[B]

Well, you might, hopefully. We're gonna live very long, right?

[A]

You don't. Your accent doesn't change.

[B]

I mean, old bag, you know. I know. You're stone cold hell. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Right? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah.

[B]

What's an old man voice? Back in my day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Are we doing the show at that age? 70 years old. Welcome back to the basement prank.

[A]

Can you imagine? We're 70 doing this.

[B]

Take off my oxygen mask. Hey, Joe.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know.

[B]

I mean, keep this. Keep this horse galloping until the crows.

[A]

Come singing, you know, we'll be 24 then. That'll be crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Doesn't age.

[B]

It will be. Seeing over there, I'd be like, I got fired nine times this month.

[A]

I would never. I would never be able to, Like, I've been at, like, our friend's grandparents who I've never met, like, wakes and I've been crying.

[B]

Yeah. I get. I get choked up.

[A]

Choked up is a better. Like, I'm not, like, sobbing, but I'm definitely like. Like, I have to, like, I have to breathe more to, like, up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Fighting a cry in your face. Fight your face when you, like, don't want to cry. You're like, I, I, I.

[B]

There's a weird part of me that likes the back of the throat cries coming.

[A]

I do that when I can feel it.

[B]

Like, it's back there. I was like, you know, I also.

[A]

Like collecting tears in my eyes so that when I blow blink, it just goes.

[B]

Oh, you like to engineer your cries?

[A]

Only when I'm watching movies.

[B]

Oh, just like, let it go, let it go, let it go. Bang. And then, like, at the right time.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I'll stop myself from blinking because I know if I blink, it'll probably get like, a tear, but, like a whack tear. Like, I'm trying to get up.

[B]

I'm more. Listen, I. I love crying. I'm more afraid of being accused of crying when I'm not. Because it's like, no, this doesn't deserve a cry right now. Like, we were watching something back and I were recently watching something, and, like, I, like, wiped my eye because I was tired and yawning and it wasn't a cry tear. You think I. You think I'm not. I'm. I'm very comfortable to say if it was a cry tear.

[A]

Clearly not. You just said you hate when people say, I'm not crying.

[B]

This doesn't deserve a cry. Well, yeah, when it's not A cry. I'll say.

[A]

It's not offend you so much. Toxic masculinity.

[B]

No, that's not. My masculinity is so sweet and. And. And. And supple. It's not toxic at all. Drink it and it'll be good for you.

[A]

Ew.

[B]

Yeah, that was actually kind of gross.

[A]

It was kind of disgusting. Disgusting just sounds like sweat. I haven't cried in a while.

[B]

If masculinity were to taste like something, what would it taste like?

[A]

Trees? Tires.

[B]

Tires.

[A]

Like toxic masculinity.

[B]

I didn't say toxic. Oh, masculinity. What does it taste like? Wood, I would say. Yeah, it tastes like. Like. Like wood. Wood. Wood. Like the way that wood chips smell like sawdust? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

If sawdust wouldn't kill me, I'd probably eat it.

[B]

I don't think it will kill you.

[A]

If you eat enough of it.

[B]

I mean, eat enough of anything, it'll kill you. But, like, I think you can eat wood.

[A]

That's deep. But I don't think you could eat wood.

[B]

Can you eat wood?

[A]

Do not look that up.

[B]

Please look that up.

[A]

But I don't know that you can eat wood.

[B]

I think you could take a little, like, a spoonful of sawdust and be okay.

[A]

You probably could, but it would be very dusty. It would be like doing the cinnamon challenge, but with wood. Wood, I mean. And also, I don't want to. Wood.

[B]

What if it's really good for you?

[A]

Eating wood?

[B]

Yeah, what if it's really good?

[A]

There's no question. It's not.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

Because we've run tests. We're humans.

[B]

Are you sure?

[A]

I'm.

[B]

Tell me about those. Tell me about those tests that.

[A]

Frank. You don't think I've read all the clinical trials of eating wood?

[B]

I do not think you have read all the clinical trials about eating wood.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think there's any.

[B]

But I mean, honestly, just look up. Can you eat wood?

[A]

Have you ever put dirt in your mouth?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is it bad?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It doesn't taste good.

[B]

It tastes like dirt. It tastes like. Just like sediment and sand.

[A]

I put rocks in my mouth when I was younger.

[B]

Yeah, rocks tastes good. I can't lie.

[A]

Whoa. I don't know about.

[B]

No, you should not eat wood because it's difficult for humans to digest. Okay, so maybe we shouldn't eat wood.

[A]

He needed Google to tell him that. He couldn't believe me. Rocks, though.

[B]

Rocks.

[A]

I love how rocks don't eat.

[B]

Rocks don't eat them. But they look delicious.

[A]

But when you're younger and you put a rock in like. Like a little lip, like a zen.

[B]

Like a rock. You're packing lips of fucking pebbles.

[A]

Yeah, I used to roll up rolly poliolies. I have a rock in my face. Like.

[B]

Yeah, the late 90s, man, what a good time to be alive.

[A]

Sniffing markers, licking markers and glue. I. When I was young, you were just.

[B]

Doing drugs for kids. Basically, you were doing kid drugs. I remember markers and glue.

[A]

I remember being young and being in the bathroom and looking at myself in the mirror and holding out my tongue and. And taking an orange washable marker and drawing on my tongue and nothing. No, I mean, it had like a whack taste.

[B]

You recently put paint on your mouth. Did you get any whiff of that?

[A]

I put it on my lips.

[B]

Did you?

[A]

I didn't like that. It wasn't a good feeling. It wasn't a good feeling, but I did it and.

[B]

And you regretted it.

[A]

You live and you learn.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The. The important thing is that we're learning and that's it.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Live and learn.

[A]

You know, you're singing more songs that I don't. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

That's from Sonic Adventure 2.

[A]

Well, we're gonna leave you with that, folks. Frank, where can they find you everywhere?

[B]

Go find. Go find the Patreon. Patreon.com basementyard. Find me at the Frank Alvarez. All over the place. Find the Patreon. Find the basement yard. All over the place. Do I get another sign off?

[A]

All over the place?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, let me do my. You guys go follow me at Joe Sandrigado. Go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram at the Basement Yard. And if you're coming to any upcoming shows, the ones in Vancouver or the ones in the UK and Ireland, those are different things, which I've been told in my DMs by angry Irish people. You guys can go to the basementyard.com submit if you want to be a part of the show. Submit your stuff. And we'd like to get a bunch of responses so you can pick the best ones and have a good time. So.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm excited.

[A]

So go ahead, hit him with your sign. All right, all right, all right.

[B]

Hey, it's warm down here. Come back sometime and bad.

[A]

I thought you're signing off.

[B]

Yeah, that's it. That's it.

[A]

So we're staying in the basement. They're going upstairs.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we'll be here in the. We'll be here in the basement. Come on. Down when you want to talk again. No.

[A]

All right.

[B]

No. We'll be playing in the basement.

[A]

Say. What did you say?

[B]

We'll be playing in the basement. It'll be just us and you.

[A]

We're 33, so that's crazy.

[B]

I'm going to get the right one, and it's going to hit like a ton of bricks. But until next time. See you later.

[A]

See you.