#517 - Welcome To Flavortown

Summary

The Basement Yard – Ep. #517: "Welcome To Flavortown" (August 25, 2025)

Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frank Alvarez
Guest: Joey
Studio: Santagato Studios

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Overview

In this episode, Joe and Frank, joined by Joey, dive into the joy and chaos of quirky stadium foods (including a tiramisu served in a Yankees helmet), the outsized persona of Guy Fieri and “Flavortown,” Italian heritage and food, the evolution of tipping etiquette, odd news about adult pacifiers, and a surprisingly heartfelt dialogue about social media, public attention, and mental well-being. As always, their banter is sharp, irreverent, and self-aware, mixing crude jokes with genuine observations about modern life.

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Episode Highlights & Discussion Points

1. Opening Jokes & Gooning Lingo

• The show starts with riffing on Joey’s shirt (“Sorry I missed church today. I was at the Rainforest Cafe, gooning.”)
• The trio gets caught up in a string of euphemisms for masturbation ("cranking your dank," "choking your chicken," "tickling your feather," etc.), playfully educating each other on terms the “youth” are using now.
  • Memorable quote:
    • Frank: “That means jerking off.” (00:28)
    • Joe: “Tugging your boat. That’s a better one.” (01:08)
• They rib Joey for possibly making the intro about indecent exposure via his shirt, segueing into a lighter vibe.

2. Stadium Tiramisu Yankees Helmet Taste Test

• Joey brings in stadium-inspired tiramisu desserts made by his cousin at Fortunato’s Bakery. This unpacks a thread of jokes about Italian heritage, family, and authenticity of stadium food.
  • Frank, incredulously: “Your cousin is The Fortunato bakery?” (01:46)
  • Joe: “Your cousin tastes amazing. You got a good tasting cousin.” (04:01)
• They try the tiramisu, comment on the “dusty” quality, and riff on whether the Yankees or Mets serve better stadium eats.
  • Joe: “Oh my god, these are dusty whores, these.” (03:03)
• This spirals into Italian food banter, the origins of pasta, and how Italy “stole” it from China.

3. Richie Rich, McDonalds at Home, and Food Fantasies

• The group reminisces about the movie “Richie Rich” and fantasizes about the “press a button, get any food" concept.
  • Frank: “Colossal king crab legs. What’s funny about that?” (08:17)
  • Joe: “Welcome to flavor town” (10:44)
• They get into what dish they’d want on demand, before breaking into Guy Fieri impressions.

4. Guy Fieri & "Flavortown" Riff

• Joe and Frank adopt over-the-top Guy Fieri-isms (“donkey kicking good,” “finger-licking donkey fucking sauce"), exaggerating his flair and discussing the appeal of his restaurants and TV shows.
  • Joe: "This fucking hot dog is gangster… he put a little bit of donkey fuck sauce on it." (13:36)
  • Frank: “He loves to do that…it's an animal and a body part.” (15:20)
• They hilariously unpack the confusion Joe had over “Guy’s Grocery Games” (thinking it was a show for men, not Guy Fieri's namesake).
• Joey interjects with trivia—Guy Fieri apparently hates eggs—leading to weirdly detailed discussion about where eggs come from.

5. Eggs: Misconceptions and Petting Zoo Anecdotes

• Confusion abounds over whether store eggs are “aborted” or simply unfertilized, leading to back and forth on animal biology.
  • Frank: “I was always under the assumption that they were just like, aborted eggs.” (16:31)
• Joe describes being attacked by chickens and goats at a petting zoo, sparking debate about animal behavior.
  • Joe: “Goats would…run from across the pen right into my shins…am I gonna have to kick one of these goats?” (19:03)

6. Adult Pacifiers for Anxiety: Cultural Trends and Stigma

• Joe brings up a news story: adults in China using pacifiers to relax. Frank is incredulous but contemplates the idea.
  • Frank: “We're not beating the whiny crybaby millennial allegation.” (20:45)
  • Joe: “That's because society has put parameters on what you can and cannot do.” (21:43)
• They debate whether there's a universal soothing effect to a pacifier, but weigh the issue of adults seeking "childish" comforts.

7. Tip and Change Etiquette: Delivery Days & Language

• The trio discusses confusing phrases around tipping (“keep five”), working life as pizza delivery guys, and how tipping norms have shifted.
  • Joe: “So many people were like, 'give me the dollar back.' And I'm like, I'm delivering pizzas here, bro.” (37:30)
  • Frank: “Now these apps will be like, oh, ten, fifteen percent of your order is the tip. Like, yo, don’t make me the bad guy here.” (38:47)
• They recall early jobs, cash tips, and sentimental stories about cute older customers tipping in quarters.

8. Social Media Usage, Screen Time, and Phone Detoxes

• Conversation turns to their own daily screen time: TikTok dominates for all, with some racking up 3-9 hours/day.
  • Joey: “My total screen time daily average is nine hours.” (50:55)
  • Frank: “If you were to ask most people, they would say they spend too much time on social media.” (50:44)
• Joe describes an attempted phone detox: buying a flip phone and ditching his smartphone for two months.
  • Joe: “I bought a flip phone…that lasted one month or two months, maybe.” (55:44)
• They discuss why it’s hard to not constantly check your phone ("muscle memory"), and the addictive pull of scrolling.

9. Unpacking Fame: Public Recognition and Its Psychological Toll

• In a surprisingly candid turn, Frank and Joe discuss how increased recognition affects their sense of self and daily behavior.
  • Frank: “Sometimes when I open my phone, I feel like I need to be a character…like, even if I'm not around anyone.” (60:07)
  • Joe: “Now I have to be somebody because people here are expecting exactly what I just said. Like, I have to…like, I don’t know.’” (63:08)
• Frank shares stories about being recognized in public with his family, feeling pressure to “perform” or act like the on-camera version of himself, and negotiating boundaries with fans.
  • Frank: “You're gonna ask me for a picture, I have to keep my eyes on this child… I always ask…as long as the kids are not in the picture.” (71:01)
• Joe expresses his discomfort at the “who are you?” questions from strangers after others ask for photos, but ultimately feels grateful:
  • Joe: “My life doesn’t feel that important… I don’t understand people having a reaction to seeing me…” (74:07)

10. The Double-Edged Sword of Virality and Privacy

• They reflect on the precariousness of Internet fame: how anyone can go viral overnight, have their privacy upended, and be subject to judgment (“You signed up for it…”).
  • Joe: “Everyone should be under the assumption that if you’re getting in front of any sort of camera, you are one second from having to live with whatever you’re saying.” (66:58)
• Frank argues for more empathy and privacy for creators, even those benefitting from a viral moment.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Guy Fieri:

  • Joe: “This burger’s donkey… finger donkey fucking delicious sauce.” (11:03)
  • Frank: “Have you ever had a pig fucker? Well, look at this fucking hamburger right here.” (12:18)

• On Adult Pacifiers:

  • Frank: “If your therapist told you tomorrow… ‘I think you should suck on a pacifier,’ are you doing it?” (21:48)

• On Social Media:

  • Joe: “When I get into the modes where I’m aware of phone usage, I have to be like, this is where I’m going to earn some of my life back.” (58:13)

• On Recognition:

  • Frank: “Sometimes I just want to go and grab something…and just go home with complete anonymity.” (71:42)
  • Joe: “The part that makes me uncomfortable is when…other people around are looking like, who the fuck is that?’” (74:23)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:00]–[01:21] – Opening banter, Joey’s shirt, “gooning” definitions
• [01:29]–[04:08] – Tiramisu Yankees helmet taste test
• [07:01]–[08:09] – Richie Rich, food fantasies, button-to-food hypothetical
• [10:44]–[13:44] – Guy Fieri, Flavortown impressions
• [16:02]–[17:08] – What eggs really are (biology breakdown)
• [19:03]–[20:19] – Petting zoo stories, animal attacks
• [20:27]–[22:37] – Adult pacifier news, cultural attitudes
• [33:45]–[38:47] – Tipping and change etiquette, delivery days
• [48:40]–[51:03] – Social media screen time confessions & breakdown
• [55:34]–[56:01] – Joe’s flip phone detox
• [60:07]–[63:08] – Frank & Joe get personal: pressure, fame, and being “on”
• [66:58]–[67:47] – Risks & realities of sudden Internet fame
• [71:01]–[76:27] – Family, boundaries, and uncomfortable fan encounters

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Takeaways

• Humor as Therapy: Even the densest banter is used as a pressure valve for the challenges of living as public figures.
• Modern Food Culture: Stadium snacks, over-the-top food TV hosts, and the fantasy of endless gourmet abundance are a backdrop for discussing nostalgia and class.
• Technology & Attention: The trio grapple openly with screen time, the allure and consequences of constant connection, and trying to find balance.
• Fame & Privacy: As the show (and its hosts) becomes better known, they reckon with shifting boundaries—and the need for occasional anonymity and normalcy.
• Societal Shifts: The episode touches on changes in etiquette (from tipping to adult comfort items), generational divides, and the oddities of viral fame.

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Episode in a Sentence

A wild, funny, and sneakily thoughtful ride from tiramisu in plastic helmets and "donkey-fucking sauce" to the growing pains of digital fame—The Basement Yard lays bare what happens when the goofiest friends you know start wrestling with the very real costs of being always online and always “on.”

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(End of Summary)

Transcript

[Joe Sanigato]

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. What the heck are you doing, buddy?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm glad to be here. Oh, no, senpai.

[Joe Sanigato]

Don't bring that. That's the Riddler now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, bad.

[Joey]

No, it was good. Technically, it's just.

[Joe Sanigato]

What shirt are you wearing?

[Joey]

Oh, we're doing. I thought we were just gonna let this one go.

[Frank Alvarez]

He giggled on his way over.

[Joe Sanigato]

Sorry I missed church today. I was at the Rainforest Cafe, gooning.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, that means jerking off.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hey, man, you're fired. You're not allowed to wear that.

[Joey]

I thought it'd be a funny little haha. I also thought we were just gonna, like, gloss over it, but now I'm.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, no one's. No one wants to glaze over your shirt. Yeah, unless it's you, apparently. Gooner.

[Joe Sanigato]

Got him.

[Frank Alvarez]

Got him. You did get him. Because he's gooning. Which we've learned recently from the youth, means jerking your. Cranking your dank.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Choking your chicken. Weekly as they would.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, it's. What's weekly? It is a weekly, Weekly episode. Yeah. Stroking your shaft.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right, right. He goes Tickling your feather. Dusting your bookcase.

[Frank Alvarez]

Tugging your boat.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's a better one.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a good one.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know, tying up your. Your. Whoever you have for ransom. Welcome back to the basement yard. We're having a great time.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was bad. That was bad. But that's also. Like you're wearing a shirt confessing to a crime. Indecent exposure.

[Joey]

You know, I'm just going to get off the shirt. I have a gift for everybody here today.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh. Oh.

[Joey]

We talked about stadium foods and it turns out the Teramisu Yankee Cup.

[Frank Alvarez]

Shut the fuck up.

[Joey]

My cousin at Fortunado's Bakery makes them.

[Joe Sanigato]

Your cousin is Fortunato?

[Joey]

My cousin.

[Frank Alvarez]

Your cousin is the Fortunato bakery.

[Joe Sanigato]

Wait, he is Fortunato?

[Joey]

He's Fortunato.

[Joe Sanigato]

Wow. Wait, your cousin is the bakery?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. They work and you never told their.

[Joe Sanigato]

Bakery or their bakery.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, who else's would it be?

[Joe Sanigato]

Wait, your cousin is Fortunato? I'm saying it like.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is his way of slowly reintroducing the idea that he's more rich than you.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, no, no.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which is so crazy. Joey's.

[Joe Sanigato]

Absolutely.

[Joey]

We're from the same, like, town in Italy where my whole family's from. Either way, Tiramisu.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was about to talk shit about Italians.

[Joe Sanigato]

Are you talking about Italy, like, the country, or are you talking about Epcot or something?

[Joey]

Talk about Italy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which one have you been to more?

[Joey]

I will Keep all. I will keep them all. Yeah, I got you.

[Joe Sanigato]

Sue me, Tiramisumi. Don't sue me. But tiramisumi.

[Frank Alvarez]

Tirami. Zooey. I'll get out too. We're allowed one bad one per day. How do they look?

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, they're dusty little.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're little dusty broads.

[Joe Sanigato]

And they're actually in the helmets.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, they got helmets.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh my God.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dust.

[Joe Sanigato]

Thank you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Give me that dusty cake.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh my God. Dude, I had a tiramisu recently and I accidentally sucked in while I ate it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, we were out to dinner together.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, yeah, you were there. Oh, yo, these are dusty horse these.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, and they're like heavy too. This is a big. Are the helmets normally this big, by the way? Yankee helmets. I wouldn't need it if it was a Mets helmet.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I would.

[Frank Alvarez]

Absolutely I would. Don't tell anybody.

[Joe Sanigato]

I love tiramisu.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are we just going for it?

[Joe Sanigato]

I think so. Right?

[Frank Alvarez]

What's the dust on top? Is it like espresso powder or is it cocoa? Do we know what it is?

[Joe Sanigato]

Cocoa.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cocoa. I think it's cocoa powder.

[Joey]

It's the official one from the stadium.

[Frank Alvarez]

They went to the stadium?

[Joey]

No, they make it and then send it to the stadium.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, fuck me, that is good.

[Frank Alvarez]

They don't make it at the stadium. No.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know.

[Joey]

I don't know if that's a spoiler.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's. That seems. Is it?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, I'm gonna.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh my God.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, that moscar is pony.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, it's poning right now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pony poned.

[Joe Sanigato]

Get poned, dude.

[Joey]

Oh yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Your cousin. Your cousin did this.

[Joe Sanigato]

Your cousin tastes amazing. You got a good tasting cousin.

[Frank Alvarez]

Damn, this is stupid.

[Joey]

Runs in the family.

[Joe Sanigato]

All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

Disgusting. You gooning nerd.

[Joe Sanigato]

We were. We were joking around and now you're making it.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're joking around about tasting your delicious cousin.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, not you.

[Frank Alvarez]

And now you want to make it about you. Guy that jerks off at Rainforest Cafe. Get him.

[Joe Sanigato]

Police. You think any police watch this. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I one time. Here's a fun story while we're doing this. I one time there was a kid in our neighborhood that was like, he became like a teacher or like worked in a school.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, you tell us a story.

[Frank Alvarez]

And he was a weirdo. I don't know if I told aunt this story. He was a weirdo and would like, post pictures with like his students, like high school students. Like, haha, I wonder if she'll take me to prom and I would just tag the nypd.

[Joe Sanigato]

I Don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I want to listen. I'm being. Gotcha. There he goes. That's the oldest man cough I've ever heard you give. Why do you put it like that? Because it's.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's. You know, is what it is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait. Empty.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, no. There's still a bit more. But the choking, I think that was God sending me a message.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't eat in the fucking mic because someone's gonna punch me in the mouth.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, is what it is, but look at this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sloppy.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

Eat that little. Yeah, eat it. Eat it, you bastard. Oh, tiramisu, man. That's something the Italians got, right? That and pizza. I don't even.

[Joey]

Probably a couple more things, maybe.

[Joe Sanigato]

Cavatelli.

[Joey]

I'll take that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Isn't that pasta?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. They didn't make pasta, did they?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think, originally.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, they kind of stole it from China.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it was the Chinese. China.

[Joe Sanigato]

China.

[Frank Alvarez]

China. Made it all.

[Joe Sanigato]

Big pasta, tall Mexican pasta. Okay. Yes, yes. Got them. I don't think. Unbelievable. Thank you so much for that present, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do they have Mexican pasta?

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't.

[Joey]

My thanks was interrupted.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Thank you to you. Fuck you, Fortunato, though. Not you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not you. Your cousin. Thank you to your cousin. Fortunato's bakery. I'm sure they need all the help they can get.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did you pay for this?

[Joey]

No. He's a good guy.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay, good.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's a good guy.

[Joe Sanigato]

Thank you, Fortune Auto.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's a good guy. If it was Ants Bakery's real name. I mean, Fortune, I was gonna be the last name.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but there's no way that's, like, your last name. It's like being Frank Fortune, it's kind of cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

That would be.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hi, I'm Frank Fortunato.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like Richie Rich? Yeah. Was Richie Rich his real name?

[Joe Sanigato]

It was a movie. Fake movie about a fake boy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, but it was also, I think, a cartoon. It was like a cart. Like a. It was a comic strip or something like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

It was a cartoon. It was also fake.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but, like, dude, Richie Rich was so sick.

[Joe Sanigato]

Your friends come over, you got a McDonald's in your crib.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, that movie, I don't know when the last time you watched it was. It might not be good today standards, but, like, that movie is so fucking great.

[Joe Sanigato]

I love it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, he's got his boys got, like, the gun, the sniffer gun, and you, like, sniff shit, and it looks like a big fucking pig's nose or whatever, bro.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's just a guy. You have your own scientist, inventor in the basement or what about.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, they got a whole lab and they're shooting shit. They're shooting their boys out of fucking chairs onto a blob or something.

[Joe Sanigato]

You remember?

[Frank Alvarez]

God damn.

[Joe Sanigato]

Their vault was in Mount Rushmore.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, that place was so sick.

[Joe Sanigato]

Mount Rushmore.

[Frank Alvarez]

I meant the movie and their house in the movie. But yeah, he was just like, thanks for playing with me. Here's hundred dollar bills, kids.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. What?

[Frank Alvarez]

Unbelievable. Put a couple kids in fucking overalls and then give them hundred dollar bills. I'm ready to watch that movie.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hell yeah, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love that movie. That's such a. That's such a good movie. And yeah, the McDonald's and the crib. I would have been fucking Don Vito size by the end of that fucking year. There's no way.

[Joe Sanigato]

If you could have something in your house where you could press a button and it makes that food, whatever it is, what would you put?

[Frank Alvarez]

Colossal king crab legs. What's funny about. What's funny about. So you press up. Can I ask you a question? What's funny about that?

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm not laughing. Giggles was laughing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you giggle too. You're a giggle guy. I was giggling because his giggle made me giggle. Too many giggles. Pull back his giggle. Draw back the giggles. What the fuck is funny about that? Giggles.

[Joe Sanigato]

So you want to press a button. Colossal king crabs show up with the side of butter.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait, can it. Can I make the. Can it be any dish, or can it have to be like a singular food item?

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, it's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because if it's a singular food. Islander. All right, so then I can make a dish.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, no, like, you can't be like, okay, this potatoes. And like, you can't make a dinner plate. It's just like, foods like spaghetti and meatballs. You know what I mean? Like, things that kind of go together.

[Frank Alvarez]

Good one. I think. Colossal king crab legs. But man, see, that's such a tough one.

[Joe Sanigato]

Know what I would pick?

[Joey]

How many do you get per press?

[Frank Alvarez]

You could just press it once per day maybe.

[Joe Sanigato]

How many more do you need?

[Frank Alvarez]

Just so you guys know, Ant loves these, like, deep hypothetical questions because I think he gets off. I think he goons to the idea of, like, potentially, like, stumping someone with a question. Because he'll be like, if you can only be dead for one. One hour of one day, but then you get all the money in the world for the next two days, would you do it? And we're like, I don't know. And he's like, yeah, what would you.

[Joe Sanigato]

What would you. What Food.

[Joey]

Would you pick wings?

[Joe Sanigato]

Mmm, chicken wings.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's such a. That's such a. Like it's non luxury. You can get good chicken wings seemingly anywhere.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think it's more about just like instantaneous. I could just get it.

[Joey]

Yeah, I guess I wouldn't want it to be that messy. So that's a bad answer.

[Frank Alvarez]

Joey's gonna go with like foie gras or something.

[Joey]

What about a singular slider?

[Joe Sanigato]

1.

[Frank Alvarez]

One slider is so stupid because I'm. I would be more. I'd be better off hungry than having eaten only one slider.

[Joey]

I'll press it twice.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, you only get one press per day. We just said that we should set the rules.

[Joey]

So then it'll be five sliders.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that's exactly what five sliders is.

[Joe Sanigato]

Crazy.

[Joey]

Oh, so I give them out.

[Frank Alvarez]

You can do five sliders, six hot dogs.

[Joe Sanigato]

Six hot dogs at the press of a button.

[Frank Alvarez]

Five hot dogs. What would I pick?

[Joe Sanigato]

Maybe like, I would pick like, like brisket. Oop. Cuz like I never eat that. Hell yeah. Cuz I'm not gonna order it. And like I usually don't go to like barbecue places. So just like you're in the mood for brisket, bang.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just a brisket that just spits at.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, yeah. You know, welcome to fucking flavor town.

[Frank Alvarez]

I.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know what it would be?

[Frank Alvarez]

I would, I would say adjective usually uses.

[Joe Sanigato]

This is like donkey kicking good or something like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's donkey sucking sauce or shit like that. Finger licking donkey fucking sauce.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh my God. This burgers donkey. Yeah, it's like finger donkey. Fucking delicious sauce.

[Frank Alvarez]

First of all, if you're gonna do an impression of American cultural and food icon Guy Fieri.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Make sure you do it with some respect. Okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, no, I love his.

[Frank Alvarez]

Guy Jerry's here.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, he's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, he's.

[Joe Sanigato]

And he's got like an expensive watch on. He's got like emo fucking spiky necklace.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's got. Yeah, he's got an expensive watch. He's got a fucking. Exactly. I'm just going to repeat what you said. He's got a bike chain bracelet.

[Joe Sanigato]

This fucking hot dog is gangster. And he put a little bit of fucking donkey fuck sauce on it. It's fucking gangster. I love him.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, take a look at this lasagna. This lasagna is fucking gangster.

[Joe Sanigato]

He loves gangster.

[Frank Alvarez]

He loves gangster. And then he loves just like, just like. No, he'd be like, oh my God. Wow.

[Joe Sanigato]

Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like the balance of flavor and heat and acidity and salty. It's Absolutely perfect. This will lick the fucking fingers off your dead grandma. You know, just like the whiplash of going between those two dis.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, he's like, look at this fucking lasagna if you press on it. That is donkey face fucking good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, guys, have you ever had a pig fucker? Well, look at this fucking hamburger right here.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's like, I wish those sliders are shit kicking right here.

[Frank Alvarez]

These are shit kicking gangster sliders. I wish. First of all, I'd love to go to one of Guy Fieri's restaurants because he's just like, you love nachos. They're coming in a garbage can. Like, the guy's just all over the fucking place eating out of a pail. You pig. Exactly. We. All right, we know what you asked for. You like creamed corn. Here it is in a trough. You know, like, oh, would love cream corn. I love creamed corn. But I would love him to get like a food show, but it's just like uncensored. Let's see what Guy Fury has rolled up his sleeve. Because every time he describes food, he's borderline cursing and it's like almost sexual. Yeah, he's just like. Oh, you know, like he does. He's just like, Let me get. And he has like 30 rings on, which I can't make fun of because I like rings too.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like, he'll.

[Joe Sanigato]

His are haunted, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

His are haunted. And there's so many and they're so big.

[Joe Sanigato]

He.

[Frank Alvarez]

His hands are this far apart, period.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And he'll be like, oh, hold on, let me get. Let me get a taste of that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wow. I mean, really bitchin. You have done something with. You have done something culinarily that has not been seen since probably like the French new wave. That's absolutely gorilla tits. You know, like, this gets a gorilla tits on the Guy Fieri scale.

[Joe Sanigato]

Love it, man. By the way, guys, grocery games.

[Frank Alvarez]

Great show.

[Joe Sanigato]

I didn't realize that it was guys. Like, I thought it was like, guys grocery games. It's like, oh, you know, a couple of guys. This is the grocery games that guys play. I didn't realize it was.

[Frank Alvarez]

How did you know?

[Joe Sanigato]

Because I didn't know that he hosted it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Name one other famous guy.

[Joe Sanigato]

I didn't think it was a specific guy. I thought.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you think they were just going with like, it was just dudes on the guy's grocery. So you think that they in. Because they're. They're at like 30 seasons and it's been on for like two years.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You Think in the year of our Lord 2025, they, the food Network would have gotten away scot free with having a show that segregates men from women.

[Joe Sanigato]

Wasn't really thinking that deep.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hosted by fucking flaming T shirt connoisseur, Guy Fieri.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

No way.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude, he just pulls up to set in a fucking, like hydraulic fucking car.

[Frank Alvarez]

He pulls up, you know, with fucking, you know, Low Rider playing, you know, and he's just like, what's up, guys?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, dude, I love that show. I actually went back and watched because I watch a lot of Food Network. I watched season one, episode one.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a great show of his.

[Joe Sanigato]

Of his show. And he looks and dresses the exact same. And he just pulls up to this, like, shack on the side of the road on the side of the road and there's just this fucking woman cooking. No ac, Tiny window. Yeah. And he's like, this fucking burger is donkey teeth or whatever the fuck he says, like. And it's just. I was like, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, man. I don't know what you're doing to this brisket and this buffalo sauce, but let me tell you, it's absolutely rooster knuckles. I mean, this is bananas. He loves to do that. Like it's an animal and a body part. And that's.

[Joey]

Apparently he hates eggs. Hates eggs?

[Joe Sanigato]

Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a strange one.

[Joey]

Hates it every.

[Joe Sanigato]

Weird that he hates eggs. Or is it weird that you know. How do you know?

[Frank Alvarez]

Because he was gooning over him at the Rainforest Cafe.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do you hate eggs?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I love eggs. Yeah, I like eggs. Got no issue with eggs.

[Joey]

I get the people, though, that, like when they're eating eggs while they're eating it, they're like, oh, I'm eating eggs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I get if you're gonna. Not gonna say the A word, but you're eating a.

[Joe Sanigato]

What's the A word? Ass.

[Frank Alvarez]

A B.

[Joe Sanigato]

O. What am I aborted? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. Well, but they're not aborted. Oh, so, so then you're just eating like. No, I don't know what eggs are. No, clearly. What do you know?

[Joe Sanigato]

That, like, I. And I actually learned this I later in life.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was always under the assumption that they were just like, aborted eggs.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. No, no. So chickens will lay eggs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't fucking. You're wearing a shirt about jerking off at a restaurant.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do you know what eggs are?

[Joey]

That person knows more than you about eggs.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know eggs. You know what eggs are?

[Joey]

Yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay, well, that didn't really instill any confidence in me. Chickens will lay eggs.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know But.

[Joe Sanigato]

But, like, they're always going to lay eggs. They don't lay eggs when they're pregnant. They just lay them. But they. The only way.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're just firing off blanks flying.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but they. But the only way is if they, like, are inseminated, then it will be like an animal. That's to my knowledge.

[Joey]

I thought they had to be incubated.

[Frank Alvarez]

See, I don't know what any of this means.

[Joe Sanigato]

I. I'm. I'm under the assumption that chickens are just firing off eggs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Honestly, I'm with Guy now. I kind of hate these things, too. I was.

[Joe Sanigato]

Either way, I'm eating them. Let's get that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm fine with them. I was watching it. Double yolk. Double yolk about. Good luck. That's amazing. I. I was watching an episode of that show.

[Joe Sanigato]

You can talk.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. I was very confused at why you fucking, like, curled. I was watching an episode of that show, and then it was just like, yeah, we're going to do it. Like, you can only make it from this aisle. And, oh, it's the aisle with dog food. And then the next episode is just like, this is in memory. It was like, it got, like, so serious because, like, one of the chefs on that show died.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, my God.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, he was, like, a Pretty. Not problematic, but, like, he made some statements that people were, like, pissed about the chef or.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not Guy Fieri. Not American Treasure. Guy Fieri. He was just like. Because it was just funny. Again, the whiplash of, like, going from, like, all right, you have to run down. You have to find roasted edamame. You have to find dairy. You know, like, something that starts with D in this aisle. And then the next episode is just.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, we are gathered here today.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let me taste his ashes. Finger licking donkey butt.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, well, you know, he went down, but he went down gangster.

[Joey]

You're right about the eggs.

[Joe Sanigato]

The eggs. They just lay them, right? Yeah. Stupid.

[Joey]

No roosters.

[Frank Alvarez]

Chickens fix your. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

If there's no roosters around, they're still just, like, laying eggs. So that's why if you have a chicken, you could just get free eggs because they're gonna lay them.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I know people. I should know this better. I know people with chickens.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but you don't have one.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't. I don't have any chickens.

[Joe Sanigato]

I wouldn't. They peck. I don't like that. They peck.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, you.

[Joe Sanigato]

I got an attack by a chicken.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. You got an. Attacked by one.

[Joe Sanigato]

I got an attack by one, and I got attacked by goats.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, explain.

[Joe Sanigato]

I went to a petting zoo farm and they just have, like, all these animals to together in, like, a giant thing. And you could just walk in. And then the chickens were running up to me and, you know, like, trying to eat the hair on my legs, I guess. I don't know. Or they were just trying to hurt me. And then the goats would. I don't know if it's like, this is how they play, but they would run from across the pen right into my shins. And I was just like, dude, you fucking kidding me? Like, am I gonna have to kick one of these goats? That's.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is kind of crazy. I've never, like. I've been to, like, petting zoos and stuff. Not where, like, I don't think you can get in with chickens, bro.

[Joe Sanigato]

There's chickens. There was. There was giant. There was sheep. There was these giant, like, cow like things, but I don't know what the fuck it was. It had giant hump, like a camel, and it was made of fat. Touching. That was disgusting.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, what are animals, dude?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, honestly, I was just like, what the hell's going on? And then there was goats, there was llamas, there was alpacas. Those are cool, but they kind of freak me out because their teeth look.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like George Washington's and also they'll spit in your fucking face.

[Joe Sanigato]

I've never been spit on. I got spit out.

[Frank Alvarez]

I got spit out by one. And let me tell you.

[Joe Sanigato]

Disgusting what it tastes like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not my mouth.

[Joe Sanigato]

I was just testing. I don't know if that was something that happened.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm. Keep going. Honestly, I can't.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, it's very good. I loved it. Thank you so much, by the way.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thank you. Get your cousin in here.

[Joe Sanigato]

Fortunato.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let him come. You stay home.

[Joe Sanigato]

Frank Fortunato. There he is. I would like to talk about. I saw this in the news recently that apparently, like, in China, adults are using pacifiers to, like, chill out. And. And I got to be honest with you, I'm kind of on board. Oh, okay. Here.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hold on one sec. I have a gun under here. I'm going to pass it to you.

[Joe Sanigato]

What's the big deal?

[Frank Alvarez]

Come on, brother. We're not beating. We're not beating the. Being Whiny Crybaby. A millennial allegation.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, I don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who's.

[Joe Sanigato]

Who's making that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Every person about our generation. Whatever, dude. That. That's awful. What?

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm just a pacifier.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're going to tell me if you. If I walked in here.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I had a pacifier in my mouth. And I was going, yeah, you wouldn't fucking hate me?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I'd probably slap it out of your mouth. But I'm. But I'm saying, like, if we lived in a society where everyone had one, it was cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think we should live in that society.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do you think, like, you don't think the idea of a pacifier, like, if you were using one right now, like, you wouldn't enjoy that experience a bit?

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I guess I have to. I have to step back a little bit. I can't, with confidence say I would or wouldn't. I think the idea of putting a pacifier in my mouth as a grown ass fucking man would deter me from doing that.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's because society has put parameters on what you can and cannot do.

[Frank Alvarez]

If this. If it. If there is any way that, like, therapists can be like, yo, if your therapist told you tomorrow, Joey, I think you should suck on a pacifier, right? Are you doing it?

[Joe Sanigato]

Do you. You don't respect me, if that's how you're talking to me. You think my therapist could talk me into literally anything?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I don't know. I'm just saying, like, you seem pretty jazzed if your therapist was just like, joey, listen, you deal with a lot of, you know, like, not. Not a lot. You've. You've been open about your dealings with anxiety and stuff like that. You still. Well, no. Apparently you don't shave your legs anymore. You're five foot two. I think what might work best for you is if you had this here bobo. Right, dad? You want a bobo?

[Joe Sanigato]

You clearly have not even sniffed a therapist or therapy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll be honest with you. I've never even met one. Like, I don't even know anyone that does.

[Joe Sanigato]

Never met a therapy?

[Frank Alvarez]

Not that I know of. At least I know someone that works in, like, clinical.

[Joe Sanigato]

I actually have Never have I seen a therapist in the wild.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you see them out and, like, they're like, out? And then you see them and you're like, no. Can you, like, spot them?

[Joe Sanigato]

I did invite my old therapist to something once.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. And he said no.

[Frank Alvarez]

What was it?

[Joe Sanigato]

I think it was like the launch of the hot sauce. One of the hot sauces. Yo. I was like, yo, if you want to come, just come. And he's just like, all right, I'm good. He didn't say that, but he's like, oh, I'll let you know what.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was like, I think it's like a thing that they're not supposed to be, like, patternizing with their crazy clients.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, probably.

[Frank Alvarez]

Patience, I should say. Excuse me.

[Joey]

That's sad. What if you guys could have made really good friends and now you can't?

[Joe Sanigato]

We wouldn't have, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, what if he was just like, I'll come to this hot sauce event if you take this passy and you suck on it like a widow. Widow.

[Joe Sanigato]

Widow. Wine. Yeah, if he said it like that, then I'd probably just fire him. But, yeah, that's not how it would go.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, you don't. You don't think that this is just, like, contributing to, like, the negative view that people have of millennials being unable to deal with just, like, the smallest of stressors in the world?

[Joe Sanigato]

I think that every generation is going to look down on the next one no matter what.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but that happens because it's like, our music was better. Or this is when you could go out and you could buy a burger and Coke for $3. I mean, not because you're fucking sitting in the club and you're sucking on a passy.

[Joe Sanigato]

No one's saying suck to suck the pass in the club.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why not? If you're giving them free reign to suck away, they'll suck about.

[Joey]

Maybe don't people suck them at raves? The pacifiers.

[Frank Alvarez]

I heard that. That's like a weird. I think they're sucking a couple things at raves, if we're being honest. I. I think I heard that. Like, it's like when you trip, it's like a feeling of like.

[Joey]

Oh, fuck it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, calms you down, centers you. Have you ever do it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Hold on.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait a sec.

[Joe Sanigato]

Wait. What are you doing?

[Frank Alvarez]

You seem like you might know something about this.

[Joey]

No, it was inquisitive.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember when we were.

[Joe Sanigato]

Have you ever done ecstasy? No.

[Joey]

I want to.

[Joe Sanigato]

You want to? Dude, you're fucking almost 30, and that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Seems like a pretty easy thing to do if you really wanted to.

[Joey]

I wanted to.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, okay. Well, there it is.

[Joey]

I'll change it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I heard that. Like, do you remember when, like, we were, like, young? It was like, the generation. I think it was our sister generation. Some people had pacifiers as, like, accessories back then.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I do remember our generation having ill. Dude, why are we talking like this? I do remember. You remember the. The. The child's backpack phase on the front? Or that, too? Yeah. Yes, that I remember. Like, everyone had, like, a child's backpack at one point. I was like, the fuck is this?

[Frank Alvarez]

And it was like, when footy pajamas came back in, that was a little after that.

[Joe Sanigato]

But, like, I don't really hate it that much.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't hate the footy pajamas. But, like, there's a thing with, like. And you know me, I love maintaining a connection between my childhood and my adulthood.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think the whole, like. Like pacifiers are meant for babies. They're not meant.

[Joe Sanigato]

But what are they meant for? Like, let's, let's, let's. Let's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Soothing a toddler or an infant.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. Don't you think, though, that because that is a universal way to sue the child, that there is something in the human DNA that is soothed by the sucking of a pass? Sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think that at the adult age, however you choose to define that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

You should revert to that to cope with whatever stressors you have.

[Joe Sanigato]

How should you do it?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, there's a plethora of ways from therapy to whatever. I don't.

[Joe Sanigato]

It just goes. There you go. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Alcohol, sure.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, I would say that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. I don't.

[Joe Sanigato]

You coughed. You got me. You got me.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know if the response is pacifier. Sucking on a pacifier.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well. And also, you're supposed to stop doing it because it could up your teeth.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I think at your. I think once you. Yeah, once you're like a fully formed mouth.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's not gonna do anything.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know.

[Joe Sanigato]

When do you stop pacifiering?

[Frank Alvarez]

Who are you asking? Frankie?

[Joe Sanigato]

Children.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, okay. They say by like. I know, like, Ruby was really difficult to get rid of hers, but. And we did all the tricks. We cut it, you know, we tried to plant it, all that stuff. I've told that story.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, yeah. Planting it. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've told that story. I was a fucking mess. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

I can't imagine.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I think they say around like two, two and a half, three, you.

[Joey]

Know, I think my brother had it till he was like nine.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's old.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. What?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's old.

[Joe Sanigato]

Does your brother just have a vertical mouth?

[Joey]

He's all right.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's old.

[Joey]

No. Yeah, we all knew it was a little old.

[Joe Sanigato]

Nines.

[Frank Alvarez]

Exaggerated nines. I'm letting you know now If I'm a 9 year old and I know my buddy has a pacifier.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Bring back bullying.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Joey]

I think he brought it to school once and we were like, you know, we kind of have to.

[Joe Sanigato]

Excuse me.

[Joey]

Like, in his backpack. We didn't know. We didn't.

[Joe Sanigato]

The brother I met.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, we met both of them.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

One of those guys had a pacifier real late. Yeah, I wonder who it is. Is it him or him?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Make that face one more time. And we do have ads. Let's get to these ads real quick. Ladies and gentlemen, the first one, we have a new ad here, and that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is this right here.

[Joe Sanigato]

How you doing? Happy Thursday. Okay, these are happy Thursday spiked refreshers. And the best part, they're bubble free. Okay? So they're not carbonated. They are spiked refreshers. This one is pineapple star fruit, which is absolutely delete.

[Frank Alvarez]

I got raspberry dragon fruit.

[Joe Sanigato]

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[Frank Alvarez]

Not expect you to go that route.

[Joe Sanigato]

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[Frank Alvarez]

You know what also is a safe gamble with your time and your money. Patreon.com the Basement Yard Ladies and gentlemen, I tell you every single week about Patreon and why, because we love to give you more of what you love, which apparently is us. So thank you for giving us the opportunity to do that. And for those of you guys that don't know about patreon or are first time listeners, which it is very possible. Patreon.com the Basementyard is the best way to support us. If you sign up for that first tier, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance and then that second tier, well, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday morning. So. Episodes of the Basement Yard on Monday at 7am episodes of the Basement Yard on Friday at 7am Let me tell you, does it get better than that? I don't know. You tell me.

[Joey]

Does it?

[Frank Alvarez]

I hope you like it. So go check it out. Patreon.com thebasementyard and if you want to sign up, do yourself a favor and save yourself a little bit of money, okay? If you go to patreon.com the basementyard on your web browser, you'll be able to sign up there and save a little bit of money. If you sign up in a smart app, whether it be Google, Play Store or Apple Store, whatever They're going to take some extra money from you. So if you want it, you want to save yourself money, listen to what I'm telling you. Patreon.com the Basementyard I hope you have a good time with it. And guess what? We're still at it, baby. The Basement Yard we are doing our live shows, we're on tour, we're getting back after it and we're having a lot of fun doing it. And a part of one of the reasons why we're having fun is because we're interacting with you guys. And if you want to potentially interact with us at these shows, if you're coming to any of those shows, go to the basementyard.com submit that's where we ask you guys to submit questions, stories, stuff that we may or may not talk about during these shows. We might talk about them without you or with you, to you, whatever. So go check it out. Thebasemanyard.com submit and if there are shows that you are looking to come to, there are some still some tickets available at some of those shows. So go check them out atthebase vineyard.com as well. All right, folks, I love you. I thank you. I don't want to spank you. You know what I'm saying?

[Joey]

I have a question for you boys.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh boy.

[Joey]

So there's this thing going around online. This guy bought a three dollar Coke and he handed the bartender ten dollars and said, keep five. How much money do you think the guy should have gotten back?

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, the bartender.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I could see. I could see. Wait, okay, so I'll say it again. I walk into a bar, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

I buy a $3 Coke, I give them 10 bucks. I go, keep five. How much change am I expecting?

[Joey]

How much change are you expecting back?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a great point. $2 is the answer. But I could see why people are just like, oh, keep five is just like, give me back only five. Take the $2 tip.

[Joe Sanigato]

Keep five.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, like it's $3. I give you a 10 and it's like, keep five. Some people are probably making the argument that it's just like make it a total of five.

[Joe Sanigato]

What would you do if you're the bartender though and someone says, keep five, I'm taking ten.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fuck that, I'm taking the whole ten. What are you talking about? You gave me a five, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

Wait, but when he said that, what would you think he means?

[Frank Alvarez]

I meant keep five dollars, give him two back. Right. I know that's what he meant, but I could see what people are Confusing that.

[Joey]

No, no, it's not.

[Joe Sanigato]

Happened to the guy. Yeah.

[Joey]

It's not what he meant.

[Joe Sanigato]

He was expecting five back. As you said, keep five. He got. He got back too. So he was like, what the fuck?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, then he's an idiot.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. That's a wrong language.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's wrong. You literally gave him the keys to the kingdom and he decided to go and stay at night.

[Joe Sanigato]

No one tells you if something costs $3 and you go, keep five. No one is expecting you to be like, like, keep whatever I'm about to say is the tip. You know what I mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

If you only want them to charge a certain amount, you say, just give me back. Give me 5x amount. That's what I give. I've said that before. If something is, you know, five bucks and I hand them a ten, I'll be like, just give me back to or something. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, or just keep the change. Like, if you're saying keep, you're being very specific with your verbiage.

[Joe Sanigato]

Let me ask you a question, because this happened to me a ton when I was working, like delivering pizzas. Let's say a pizza is $17.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

Deliver a pizza to you. You obviously have a $20 bill. Yep. What are you tipping me?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I. That's a hard question to answer.

[Joe Sanigato]

How is this a hard question?

[Frank Alvarez]

I guess I would just say keep the change.

[Joe Sanigato]

Wow, that was so hard to come.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like, if I had more cash on me, I would say like, oh, here's an extra couple bucks.

[Joe Sanigato]

So you're, you're. The reason why it's difficult for you is not because you're deciding between one and $3 tip. You're deciding between three or more.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joey]

What would you do if I only had the 20th day? I keep the change.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Joey]

I don't want a dollar.

[Joe Sanigato]

Which dollar amount? Which. Are you not saying keep the change? What if it was $16?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think, I think, I think if it's 15, I'm fine with them taking it 14.

[Joey]

That's. It's a dicey because I rather them just keep the five. But I don't. I also don't want to have a dollar back.

[Frank Alvarez]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

This is why I'm asking, because it's tough. When I would deliver pizzas, I would deliver and someone would give me a 20 and they, and they'd say, just give me a dollar back, and I'm like, dude, give me the dollar. Like, I wouldn't say that obviously, but I'd be like, okay. And I'd give the dollar that was back, but I'd be like, bro, it's a dollar.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's back when a dollar went a lot farther than it does today, Joey. I mean, and that's as a result of inflation. And we tricked you guys. We had an episode about being finance. Now we're talking the value of the dollar. All right, I'm Frank Alvarez. No, I. Yeah, I mean, I think.

[Joe Sanigato]

So many people were like, give me the dollar back. And I'm like, what the fuck? You know, because clearly I'm delivering pizzas here, bro. Like, I'm not, like, fucking making billions of dollars or anything.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will say this. And I am in full support. Like, I consider myself and always have been a pretty generous tipper because, like, I see that these people are working. This is their fucking livelihood. But, like, I lost my train of thought.

[Joe Sanigato]

Good. I. And I could say I can. I have always been a good tipper because I've worked in an industry that where my. My paycheck would be, like, $65, literally, and then I would have to make money off of tips. And you. It just, like, depends on. Some people, like, are very generous. Like, there was one guy, a pizza I remember was like, $15.20, and he would give us, like, 23 bucks. So we're all fighting to go there because he's going, like, what you said, like, you're giving a little extra on top of, like, what the change is. But there were some people that were just like, where it's. It's 15, 20. And then it's like, oh, keep three bucks. Give me, like, a dollar back. And it's like, all right, here. Fuck.

[Frank Alvarez]

Here's the thing that I was going to try to say before, because I forgot. We grew up in a time where tipping a delivery person was like, Max, $5. Like, I remember. I remember delivery people. And it would just be like, oh, keep. You know, here's three bucks. You know, like. Like, that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Three to five was like, the normal.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what I remember. Now I'm in full support of people earning their livelihood. I am absolutely. I mean, that's also a weird statement saying they need to earn a livelihood. But you know what I mean? This, like, these, like, food delivery apps that'll be like, oh, 10, 15% of your order is the tip. Like, yo, don't make me have to be the bad guy here. Now you're making me have to be an asshole and take money out of these people's pockets. I do it because I like I'm not, I don't want to be that guy, you know, Like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pay it forward when I have the opportunity. But like, since when has delivering a pizza gone from being max $5 tip to $15 now?

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, yeah, I don't know.

[Joey]

I had, I had the opposite you guys had. When I was delivering pizzas, there was one guy who no matter what the order was, would only give a dollar. So we were all fighting to not take his order.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like, even at that time, that was normal. Like, I'm not saying it was kind, but like, I feel like that's what I remember. People would tip a Delivery person between 1 and $5 when I was younger.

[Joe Sanigato]

And like my parents would give me money and we would order pizza would always like three was like the max. And I, because I didn't even know that it was like a percentage based thing, which maybe it wasn't back then. It was kind of like just like a standard delivery. Like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, maybe it wasn't. You should expect. It was also like 15 for a large pie of pizza where now it's like 30. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like a specialty pie. It's fucking bananas. There was this one woman that, like at this pizzeria, you can't order slices. You could only order pies. But there was this one old woman that they would let her order slices. So I delivered two slices to her one time. I forget how much, how much it was, but I gave her the, the, I gave her the pizza and then she gave me the money and she was like, it was like this whole thing, like, I think it was like six, seven dollars or something. But she gave me a ten dollar bill. So she's like, oh, just pay me like exact change. And I was like, okay, cool. So I gave her $3. Like let's say it was 7. She gave me 10. So I gave her the $3 back. And then she, she goes in her pocket and she takes out a quarter and puts it in my hand. I was the cutest thing in the world. Yeah, I left there too.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I was, I remember my grandmother.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but it was, it was super cute to be like, this old woman is like. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember my grandmother, when we would order food, like, she would open a coin, like bag and she like the one that had like the clasp that like, it's like the two balls that like sit like this, you know, those things.

[Joe Sanigato]

I go like this.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know I just do it like that the whole time.

[Joe Sanigato]

But.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like she would literally open it and she would pick quarters out, and she'd be like, give this to them for a tip. I just. I don't. That guy is an idiot. Because that guy clearly, like, he fumbled, and he's probably pissed about it. Cause he's like, how dare they. They wanted to, you know, fuck you give the person. They probably need it a lot. I hate. I hate that. But I also hate the idea of just, like, I'm ordering sushi takeout, and it's 80 bucks, and I'm tipping 20 bucks.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Am I, like. Am I cr. Am I. Am I wrong for that? I do it because, I mean, like, paying it forward.

[Joe Sanigato]

But, like, I don't know. I honestly don't know. Like, that's just never been my experience. Because, like, like I said when I was delivering, I would. The most I was ever paid for a delivery was, like, 25 bucks. And that was because I had to go into their house and I had these catering dishes, and I had to set those up and, like, this thing on fire, blah, blah. She gave me 25 bucks, which I was hype about, because you never get $25 when you're driving around the neighborhood delivering shit. It's usually like, you know, three bucks here, five bucks here, three bucks here. Like, but to get $25 is like, wow. But then if you're. If someone's spending $80, which is a lot, and then you have to tip, you know, 20% on top of that. It's a.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a lot. It gets up there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm. I'm more impressed at the fact that you delivered pizza prior to, like, online gps. Like, GPS on your phone.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did I ever tell you about my first day when I worked there, by the way? Rip. Rip.

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, you're done. Oh, that's funny. Heartbreaking.

[Joe Sanigato]

The pizzeria that I worked at is there. They were, like, a staple in the neighborhood, and they're shutting down.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why?

[Joe Sanigato]

My sister.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

My sister just went with her kids as, like, a last, like, for being down. I think they may be, like, this week. I think Crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fucking breaks my heart.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is so sad.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, it's fucked up. But my first day of work at this place, it was a Friday night, and I have my dad's giant red van, and I went to go pull into a parking space, and mind you, I had been driving for, like, less than a year. I pull into a parking space, I hit the car next to me, and the woman's in the car, so she gets out of the car, and she's freaking out, and I'm like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. It's my first day of work. And she looks at the car. There's nothing wrong with either of our cars. So she's just kind of like, all right, whatever. Like, you're fine. Like, just back up so I could get out. I was like, oh, thank God. I get into work. This has never happens my entire time working there. I get in there, the guy goes, you have eight orders. And I'm like, what? So I called my dad, and I was like, I need you to drive. So I was in the back of this van, my dad, and my dad's driving. I'm fucking slamming against the walls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm yelling out addresses, and I'm like, Where's this? 23rd Terrace. The fuck is that? And I'm, like, organizing, and then I'm running them out and blah, blah, blah. Like, halfway through the shift, though, he, like, left. And I was able to figure it out, but I had no gps. You just had to know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I mean, we also grew up in a pretty, like, easy to understand neighborhood in terms of just like, all right, It's. It's a 40th and 20th Avenue, you know, like, okay, you could fit that. That's. That's a. That's one block. You can kind of piece it together from there.

[Joe Sanigato]

You can read addresses, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, for the most part. I mean, like, now, growing. Like, not growing up, but, like, living in, like, a. More like. Yeah, that's outside of the city area, where it'll just be like, you know, 1286 Maple Drive. Maple Drive. And I'm just like, come on, what the fuck are we doing? They're like, oh, it's right off of fucking Main street, which is next to. And I'm like, give me. Give me the grid. I'm good with the grid.

[Joe Sanigato]

In New York, it's like, 2246 49th Street. So, you know, 22 is the Avenue, and it's the 46 house, not the 46th house, but, like, the house that says 46 on. On that street or avenue.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And most of the houses went by twos, so it would be like, odds.

[Joe Sanigato]

On one side, evens on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, yes, yes. And then also, if it was on the Avenue, it would be like.

[Joe Sanigato]

It would be the avenue instead of the street.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it was. So it would say, like, 4204, you know, because then you're like, oh, okay, it's. It's moving toward 43rd.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Way fucking easier.

[Joe Sanigato]

I will say we have avenues and streets. And that first batch, the first one I looked at said 23rd terrace, and I was like, I don't know where that is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I've never heard of 23rd.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's by a story apart.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like one of those, like, yo, that whole area is such a fucking cluster fuck. Yeah, there's like half streets. I remember when I. When I used to drive to you when you lived in Long Island City. It was just like, I'm driving down 21st street and it's like, 23rd Avenue. 23rd Road. Yeah, 23rd Drive. Drive, 23rd Terrace. 23rd Circle. And I'm like, what the fuck is this?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, it was such a cluster.

[Joe Sanigato]

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[Frank Alvarez]

Prescription required.

[Joe Sanigato]

See website for full details, restrictions and important safety information. So folks get after it. All right, and lastly, Here we have BetterHelp. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, which is online therapy. Okay? If you want to talk to a therapist, they make it very easy with their onboarding process. It's just 48 hours. You'll talk to a therapist very soon. And they make it very easy to jump from therapist to therapist to find the right fit for you. That is the most important part of therapy, in my opinion, is that you have to have someone that you kind of vibe with that gets what you want out of this. And, you know, you gotta have a rapport, so that's very important. So that's that's good that they have that. But they have over 30,000 therapists. It's the world's largest online therapy platform having served over 5 million people globally. So amazing. They have also an app store rating of 4.9 out of 5 with over 1.7 million client reviews. So it's a great score. People seem to be liking it. So get BetterHelp. Our listeners can get 10% off of the first [e-mail] Basemyard that is betterhelp.com Basementyard okay, so this is already more affordable than in person therapy. So you know you can save some extra money there. That 10 [e-mail] basementyard so enjoy that. I also have a question for the both of you. How much time do you think you spend on social media each day?

[Frank Alvarez]

Maybe like, maybe maybe an hour and a half, maybe two hours. It's probably a problem. Honestly, like too much. I would say like the baseline is too much.

[Joe Sanigato]

I thought you were gonna give a number and you said too much.

[Joey]

I feel like this is an unfair question for me. It's like to the job and I run a lot of social media accounts.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's true.

[Joey]

Yeah, it's a lot.

[Joe Sanigato]

But like. Okay, so what amount are you? Just like leisure. Yeah. And I guess leisure is also like, like when you have to post stuff. Like that's not a lot of time that you have to spend.

[Joey]

You're right.

[Joe Sanigato]

But you're spending time on it. You're right.

[Joey]

But then once you get on there and you already post, it's like, well, I'm already on here and start scrolling. Probably a few hours for sure.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but that's so vague.

[Joey]

I feel like 3, 3 to 4. Cuz at night I'm scrolling.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that's the thing is like in the morning. In the. So in the morning when I wake up I'll.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like when I wake up I put on my makeup.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I didn't know that's where you were going there. I'm sorry, you.

[Joey]

I want to look at my screen time.

[Joe Sanigato]

Go ahead.

[Frank Alvarez]

In the morning when I, when I rise. Jesus.

[Joe Sanigato]

What are you saying?

[Frank Alvarez]

I sit there and like I'll have like my morning like you know, kind of like drink routine or whatever. And I'll sit there and I'll scroll for a little bit and then I'll, you know, get some stuff done.

[Joe Sanigato]

Tick tock, tick tock.

[Frank Alvarez]

A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Mostly tick tock. I would say honestly. Okay, but I also sit there and I'm like, what. What can I post? You know what I mean? Because I try to get, like, ideas to post myself, and then. And then at night.

[Joe Sanigato]

You'Re just there.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, like, at night. So, like, when it's when all the kids are asleep, I put my phone down and I just. Like, I hang with Becca and we'll watch something. But like, when the kids are awake and they're just, like, leisurely watching something before bed, I'm fucking going on that thing. But, yeah, I would say whatever the answer is, I don't like it because I feel like it. That's just one of those things where, like, I feel like if you were to ask the most people, they would say that they spend too much time on social media.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

What about you?

[Joe Sanigato]

Would you have your screen time?

[Joey]

Yeah, it's a lot on tick on TikTok. I was right. It's like three hours. Three hours a day.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Joey]

My total screen time daily average is nine hours.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's a lot.

[Joey]

But I do, like, in the shower, I'm YouTubing and I'm watching videos.

[Joe Sanigato]

Youtubing in the shower? Yeah.

[Joey]

Like, I, Like, I used to like listening to videos.

[Frank Alvarez]

I used to do that, but I've stopped. I haven't done it in three years.

[Joe Sanigato]

All right. It's not meth.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I made it. Fuck you both. I made it. I made it, like, a resolution, something I wanted to do, and I stuck.

[Joe Sanigato]

With it to stop watching to YouTube.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just to, like, stop using my phone in places I didn't need to, like, you know, like, I would throw a video on and I'd get in the shower.

[Joe Sanigato]

You would watch it while you're showering?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I wouldn't watch it. I would just listen.

[Joe Sanigato]

Interesting.

[Joey]

Like, in the car. On long drives, I don't listen to music. I'll put on, like, an informational podcast or something.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll listen to, like, my, like, movie talk stuff.

[Joe Sanigato]

I have such, like, the misophonia thing is so real. Like, dude, after doing that OPL episode and listening to what misophonia is, I was like, oh, my God. I fucking have that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, can you explain it one more time?

[Joe Sanigato]

It's your. I mean, I don't know exactly. Like, you know, whatever, but you're very sensitive to, like, sounds. So, like, I can't do two things at once. If I can barely. Like, if I'm driving and the radio's on and someone's trying to talk to me, I can't do that. Like, that's too many things at Once. And I can't, like, I can't read unless it's absolutely silent. And, like, if I'm watching TV and someone's playing something on their phone that's like, making noise, I can't. I, like, it literally gives me, like, a visceral reaction. I'm like, turn your phone off.

[Frank Alvarez]

Interesting.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's just.

[Frank Alvarez]

I guess I do that. I guess I have that for, like, reading for, like, the three times a year I read. But, like, if someone's like. If, like, I'm watching a show and Becca's scrolling on her phone, that doesn't.

[Joe Sanigato]

That means when you can hear it. Yeah, no, I can't. I can't.

[Frank Alvarez]

That means nothing.

[Joe Sanigato]

I would be like, do you mind, like, lowering that, like, to basically. And also in return, I don't like even doing that because if I. If I'm on my phone and I'm watching stuff but the TV's on, I'll lower the fuck out of mine because, like, I don't even want to mix them. So it's like that.

[Joey]

Do you do the thing where you lower the music to park? Like, that kind of thing?

[Frank Alvarez]

Absolutely, Yeah, I do. I do that. If I'm, like, coming up on a place I've never been before, I lower it. I don't know why? Don't ask me. It doesn't make sense.

[Joe Sanigato]

Just, like, focus, maybe.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. It's just, like a comfort thing possibly.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

But I can't, like, I wouldn't be able to, like, shower and there's like, a video. I'd be like, I'm. I'm clearly not see, watching that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, my screen time is also too, because, like, on the days that I come in, I just to get an idea of, like, what time I'm gonna be here and how, like, what is the best route to take home? Because there's several routes and if you take the wrong one on the way out of New York, you could be fucking finger blasted by donkey sauce. Traffic.

[Joe Sanigato]

Not very gangster.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but most of my screen time during the week is, like, on the days I come in, it's heavy because it's basically four, four and a half hours at Google Maps the whole time.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, so. But yeah, I. I think I. I saw something recently that the, like, average screen time for people now is, like, doubled than it was like, 10 years ago or something like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, that makes sense.

[Frank Alvarez]

We had almost all the same apps. If. And the only thing that would be different is instead of TikTok, it was vine.

[Joe Sanigato]

My daily average.

[Frank Alvarez]

I guess we're gonna look this up.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. My daily average is 5 hours, 10 minutes. My most used is TikTok.

[Joey]

That makes sense.

[Joe Sanigato]

And then my next most used. These two, by a large margin, are TikTok and my text messages.

[Joey]

It's. That's me as well. I got TikTok text messages and then Instagram by a mile.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Joey]

All three of those by a month.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm trying to find screen time.

[Joe Sanigato]

I have a lot of Apple tv. Fucking surprising.

[Joey]

If you go to Settings, it's right there, google.com.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'M literally looking at Settings.

[Joe Sanigato]

I wonder what everyone's like, anyone who's watching this. I wonder what your screen time. Right.

[Joey]

You can write in the comments.

[Frank Alvarez]

My daily average is 6 hours, 49 minutes. But again, if you look, you'll see the days that I'm in the car.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are significantly higher.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And my most. Yeah, my most by a while is Tick tock. Oh, and then YouTube, because, like, I'll throw on, like, bro, YouTube, have 46 minutes a day.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm never on YouTube.

[Frank Alvarez]

I have like an hour a day. But again, that's because on my days in, I'll throw something on and listen to it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. You know.

[Joey]

Did you ever do a phone detox?

[Frank Alvarez]

What's that?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Mad times.

[Joey]

You seem like someone who would do it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do you want to hear how bad it was for me? I'll. I'll explain. Don't worry, I still got it. It seems like something I would do, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Absolutely. Oh, yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

You don't even know the fucking half of it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, he was so.

[Joe Sanigato]

So here's. Here's what I did years ago. I. I bought a flip phone. I bought a flip phone and I got a new. It was $12 a month. A new plan, like a new phone number. By the way, this lasted one month or two months maybe.

[Frank Alvarez]

But is the number still in use?

[Joe Sanigato]

No, but I bought that because I was. This was also. I'm not gonna give the whole backstory of why this was happening during that time, but, like, whatever. I. I was mentally in a weird place with my job and whatever, and I just felt like I was spending too much time on social media and I didn't like it. So I was like, I need to get rid of this. So I bought a flip phone so that anytime I was, like, leaving the house, I would just take that. So if I was, like, going out with friends or I go to dinner or whatever, I would just take the flip phone because it's like, don't I don't need to be texted right now. Just call me on this if it's an emergency. That's the only reason why, like, that was the only reason why I was, like, convincing myself that I need my phone on me all the time was because what if there's an emergency? It was like, well, I fixed that problem. So I did that. Two months. It was over. It was.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was interesting. I think the.

[Joe Sanigato]

The.

[Frank Alvarez]

The attempt is admirable.

[Joe Sanigato]

The intention was there, but it was.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I really try. Like, when I'm not working or when I'm not here and, like, I'm with the kids or, like, we're having, like, family time or something, I put my phone down in, like, the other room and I leave it there on loud because, like, same idea. If someone needs to get in touch with me, they'll call me. I hate when people are just, like, texting and it's like, it's urgent. Like, if you need me, call me. But I think I probably need a phone detox, because, like, I don't know, I just feel like it's just, like, TikTok is just, like, so easy. It's just so easy and mindless and, like, to a point where, like, I was having this conversation, like, conversation. I was thinking to myself the other day, like, oh, like, if I feel stressed, I open it and I scroll to not. Yeah, feel stressed. And that's not good. You know what I mean? Like, the. The feeling stressed should be like, all right, figure it out. Deal with it. Not like, let me just have this dopamine response to something. And I'm not, like, sitting there like, oh, my God, I love that. It's literally just staring.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And it's just so fucking mindless. And I know I'm a child of this era and, like, I'm part of the problem, but, like, there's little things.

[Joe Sanigato]

I forgot who mentioned this, but it stuck with me. And I try. Like, when I get into the modes where I'm very aware of, like, phone usage, there are moments where I'm like, okay, this is where I'm going to earn some of my life back, essentially. Like, anytime you're standing in a line or if I'm waiting for the elevator, or I get in the elevator in my building, or you're at a red light, or you're just waiting for something, everyone just pulls out their phone. Like, even if it's like, you know, this is gonna be 30 seconds, people just pull out Their phone. Yeah. And, like, I've done that a billion times. Yeah. But when I'm aware of it, I will just. I'll have to be like, don't do it. Like, I'll have to actively not grab my phone because it's like, muscle memory.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is. It is muscle memory.

[Joe Sanigato]

And, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, you won't even. Like, there have been times where I've gone to do it, and I'd be like, what the. I have no reason to open these apps. I'm not checking on something in specific, you know, in particular or anything like that. I'm just doing it because my brain is telling me, like, you have a moment. Do it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So, like, do something. I. Yeah, exactly. So I have been in the same regard. I have been like, one of those people that's just like, I don't need this right now. Like, Yeah, I know. And I know I sound like a addict, but, like, we're all. We're all kind of addicted, without a doubt. And, like, we're going to have to figure out eventually how to break the cycle and fucking. Because it's. It's a lot. There's definitely. Bro. 30 years time when our kids are, like, in their 30s or 40s or something, the, like, amount of research and data that comes out about smartphone usage is going to fucking scare the shit out of us.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because these things are also 15 years old.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Well, yeah, I feel like I'm always.

[Joey]

On, like, my brain. So I like it just because I could, like, stop, just scroll, but see, like. And I love it, like, I get the problem.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. But that may be a byproduct of you just, like, being an addict, maybe.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joey]

I'm scrolling.

[Frank Alvarez]

And this. We might be getting too deep here, so forgive me if we are. But, like, another reason I hate it is because I have been, like, dealing with, like, the feelings and effects of, like, as our show is getting bigger, more and more people recognize us and stuff like that. And, like, it's getting more uncomfortable for me personally. And I'm sharing this just to be completely transparent. Sometimes when I open my phone, I feel like I need to be. Even though I'm not around anyone and I'm not doing anything, I need to be a character. Like, it's so strange to think about because, like, I've said to myself, like, that doesn't make sense, but, like, it feels like I need to be on. Like, I open it and I need to be in, like, cameras are on mode, you know, even if I know that they're not it's just like a weird response my brain had and I know I need to, like, put it down.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think that maybe with time that will go away because I feel like there was a time for me, like when I first started doing Internet stuff. Right. I felt similarly. But then after a while you kind of get this, like, this attitude. Because that's very interesting to hear you say that, honestly. Because now it's like I'm remembering a feeling like that. A feeling like before it was my job. It felt like I have to treat this like a job and I have to do something or. And it's. I'm not even doing anything. Like, I'm just like. I don't know, it's like a, like an energy thing sort of. I'm not like. Like, it's not like I'm scrolling my phone. Like, like I'm doing something like that. Yeah, yeah. But it's this thing that you're like, oh, this. There's a purpose to me scrolling right now or something like that. Yeah. After a while, though, you know, through my little experiments of phones and, you know, being anti social media forever, I feel like I've kind of gotten to a place now where I'm kind of like, I don't give a. Like, I just, I can't. You can't control any of that. And it's all psychotic.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I'm just like, I think maintaining.

[Joey]

I.

[Frank Alvarez]

Look, it's the way of the world right now. I think finding and maintaining a healthy balance is the best because, like, it's, it's. In my opinion, sure, it might be admirable if you can like, completely remove yourself from social media and stuff, but you're also missing out on a major component of modern society.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which, you know, if you want to be one of those people, go for it. But, like, I don't think the answer is just like, have nothing, get off it, get rid of smartphone, go live in the woods. Yeah, I don't think that does anything. Like, I think the. Unless it's like, with certain instances with like, other things. But I'm specifically talking about smartphones and technology use here. Like, I think that's where it's about finding a healthy balance, healthy usage, you know, like, you're never going to hear someone say, like, oh, you're an alcoholic. You should learn how to drink in moderation. Like, you should probably not drink at all.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, also one thing that really got me was like, think about why you're doing any of it and like that to Me is like, the easiest way to find the balance is, like, think about why you're doing anything on social media. Like, there was a time where I would go places and it's like, I would post stories about where I was or I would try to make. I would try to take, like, an artistic photo of this and, like, post that and whatever. But then, like, if you really sit with the idea of, like, why am I doing that? Like, it's very cheap to be like, I'm entertaining people. And it's like, bro, you took a picture of a can. Like, be real yourself. Yeah. Like, that's a lazy answer. To be like, oh, that's why I'm doing it is because it's my job or whatever. Like, that's bullshit, though. Like, how many of your actions are you doing? And then you're like, eventually someone asks you that and then you go, I don't know why. Like, I don't know why I'm doing. Yeah, like, and there was so many instances where I felt like, I don't even know why I'm doing that. And then I was like, I'm not doing any of that anymore. Like, I don't. I don't want to. I like there being a very, like, separated thing. I like doing this show especially because we get to just, like, talk and be ourselves. And it's not like, you know, you know, we don't have to, like, put on some huge act or anything like that. But I like their feeling like, I have my real life and I have this thing, and, you know, people enjoy this thing, and I love that. And it's my job and I love doing it. But I like this too. Like, I like that they're separate.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, we, We. We occupy a weird space, too, because, like, we are also finding that, like, in today's society, something can go mega viral and you could become very successful.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Seemingly overnight. I mean, look at fucking Haley Welch, you know, Like, I don't know, Welch Hawk to a haktua. Got it, Mrs. Tua.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, literally went from being, you know, working a spring factory. Spring factory job to the next day and for several weeks thereafter. The biggest, like, star on the Internet.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, so, like, the current mentality is just like, oh, I can use this leisurely and just like, maybe, you know, just continue to work my regular job. Or I can do it with the intent of, like, maybe something will happen one day, you know, which is like, such a strange space to occupy. Like, no, you've never heard of people in, like, previous Generations, like, basically working a job and a half, like. And like, one of them is, like, passive to, like, the hopes that it blows up.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. You know, dude, it's also, like, kind of freaky, the Internet. So scary, dude. Like, you remember, you know when like, very famous people have complaints and then people be like, well, you signed up for like, blah, blah, blah. It's like every time you post on social media now because of, like, how quickly people can go viral. People can say that about you. Like, anytime you post anything, it's like, well, you signed up for it the second you posted that you're not like a celebrity who's been in a bunch of movies. And now it's like, I can't even leave my house without people complaining or taking pictures of me or doing whatever the fuck, blah, blah, blah. It's like you could just post something and then the next day you're the biggest thing in the world and then everyone's going to find a reason to hate you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, because it's not such a fucking. Because it's not because. Because you did what those other people, like I said, like those other people hoped happened to them, so they fudgeing hate you for it because the way you went about it was stupid. I mean, like, it's crazy. Let's use fucking Mrs. Welch, not Mrs. Ms. Welch as an example. Like, I'm sure people hate her not because of anything other than the fact that she got famous for talking about.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, originally the rug pull really did it. But.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I know.

[Joey]

I think that's a better example because, like, she. It was a street interview on someone else's thing.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Joey]

So like, what happened to her is like, okay, I get like, yeah, she didn't really ask for that. But the people who post and then go mega viral and then complain, it's like, well, you did kind of sign up for that.

[Frank Alvarez]

See, I don't know if I necessarily agree with that because the intent is not always behind going viral. Also, she didn't post that herself.

[Joey]

Well, that's why.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's what he said.

[Joey]

Yeah, like that. That's. I think that's a good example is her, like, in this whole thing. Because she didn't ask for that and it happened to her. That's a good example. But people who do post, it's like, well, then why did you.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think that everyone should be under the assumption that if you're getting in front of any sort of camera, you are one second from having to live with whatever you're saying on camera.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what I'm doing.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, yeah, that, that wasn't the case forever. Like, even when I first started doing YouTube, no one like had one video and then you're somebody, like you had to have some sort of consistency and then you were like with the groups of people and, and you know, working with this person, that person and you kind of establish yourself. But now it's like it doesn't even matter. Like they, it goes like this, like one person go crazy, violent, the coolest thing in the world and then no one cares like a month later. But for that one month, everybody's looking at you and everyone's expecting like you to have opinion, like an opinion on everything and also like it be correct and like they can judge you and say whatever. Like you have to be under the assumption that everything you say will be like, like a cop held against.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I mean, but also like when you started doing it, the only place that that stuff lived was basically just on YouTube.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Instagram.

[Frank Alvarez]

It wasn't.

[Joe Sanigato]

That makes me feel so old.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you are, you are, you are. Like it was before. Like, so now if you post like this, it's on YouTube and then it's on Tick tock. Some of it by, by us like are doing. But like, you see that there are people that make their clips and like then it's everywhere and then people that like, like, it's just, it spreads like wildfire and. Yes, correct. Then everyone is just like, well, you put it out there, you're inviting the criticism. You're inviting. You know, it's, it's, it's strange. So like, it also starts to get.

[Joey]

Dicey when like you use its benefits and then complain about its negativities as well. Like in the same, like that's the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Only thing that I struggle with is because I really used to have the mentality and we might have even like an earlier episode of this show that you and I did like, talked about. Like, well, if you're famous and people come up to you, you signed up for it. But like I've kind of done a 180 on it because two things could be true at the same time. Like, you can have fame and notoriety and an amount of celebrity, whether small or large. But like with that should come a reasonable expectation of privacy, you know, and respect. Just because you're a, you're a person on a thing or in a thing, doesn't mean like, oh, then, then all fucking rights have gone for that person entirely, bro. That happened to me and I'm going to Speak about this very candidly. I doubt this person is watching this, but, like, I went out with Becca and the kids maybe like two weeks ago, and I was standing in line for something, and a guy came up with his sister, partner, whatever, I don't know. He's like, listen, I'm a huge fan. I don't want to bother you. Came to your Radio City show last year. It was so much fun. Congrats on everything. Do you mind if we take a picture? Yes. Okay. Yeah, of course. No problem. Yeah. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. We took a picture. There was a girl standing behind me. And she goes, can I ask you a question? I go, yeah. She goes, does that make you uncomfortable? And I was like, sometimes, you know, sometimes when they're not being respectful or something. And she's like, yeah, I could see that. You know? And I was like, yeah, you know, it's just like, it could. It's a strange world to live in. Five minutes later, not even. She goes, can I take a picture with you? Like, and I have no problem doing it because, like, she was kind and. And I have, you know, like, it's a moment, like, for this person. Okay, but you asked and you got the information that was like, oh, so in your mind.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's like, you know, this makes, you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Know, it's making me a little uncomfortable. But, like, that. That doesn't matter to you in that moment. And it's just. It's a. It's a weird space to occupy. And. And I think that. That you could make an argument. And again, like I said, In 30 to 40 years, when all these documentaries and long term studies are coming out about the effects of social media, that's when we're gonna be like, holy shit, this is crazy.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. What? I'm curious. What about, like, people recognizing you makes you uncomfortable?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's not people recognizing me that makes me uncomfortable. I consider myself very lucky. I really do.

[Joe Sanigato]

But I'm saying, like, specifically where you're like, yeah, sometimes it makes you uncomfortable.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, in that situation, I was with Becca and the kids.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yep.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which, that makes me a little uncomfortable because, like, I'm here with my family, I'm chasing kids around, like, you see? So, like, you're gonna ask me for a picture, I have to keep my eyes on this child. And I always ask, anytime I've been with the kids and someone's asked for a picture, I say, as long as the kids are not in the picture, you know, because that's not them. You know, like, I don't Want them to be involved in that. So, like, that. And then sometimes, too, like. And I'm sure you get this, sometimes I just want to go and grab something, and I'm not fucking Taylor Swift or some massive celebrity that it's, like, crazy. But, like, I'm sometimes in the mood where I just don't want to be bothered. I want to go and buy something at Target and then just go home with complete anonymity.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, and that's changed. Completely transparent, you know, being completely transparent. So, like, I just think that, like, that moment in particular was like, that person had information. I gave them what they asked for. I. Yeah, it is. Yes. It makes me a little uncomfortable.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Didn't matter to them.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. No, I was at. But, like, is the uncomfortableness that you're feeling, like. Like, what do you think is the root of that? It's just, like, I don't want to interact with a stranger right now sometimes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sometimes it's also, like, I think we are. We're very transparent with who we are, with the people that listen. And I think that when they see me, they, like, sometimes they want the Frank in front of the camera, you know, or the Joe in front of the camera, so it'll be like, yo, douchebag, what's up, brother? Fucking hot dogs. Yeah. And, you know, I play into it a little bit, but, like, you're not always ready for that. At least I'm not personally, you know.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. I mean, luckily, I haven't really experienced that too often where people are kind of like, whatever, and, like, I don't mind seeing people in public. The only thing. I mean, it's uncomfortable because I just don't. I don't get it. Like, I just can't really understand. I don't. I don't view, like, my. My life doesn't feel that important. Like. Like, I don't understand people having a reaction to seeing me to the point where they want to take a picture with me. I don't. I don't get that. Like, it does, because I don't feel like that. Like, I. And it's weird. Sometimes I see celebrities acting like celebrities, and I'm like, are they, like, lying to themselves or. Or are they just, like, living very differently than me? You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I feel like you have to cross this line eventually where you just submit of, like, yes, it is me here. And, like, and I'm gonna wear a disguise because I'm so popular, and I. I just can't get myself to that point. Because it's like, I just don't get it. Like, I don't get. In the case of me, like, maybe for other people, it's like. Like legendary people where it's like, you've been entertaining people for 50 years and, you know, people never see you. So, like, now it's like, cool or whatever the fuck, but, like, I don't know. For me, it's like, I don't. I just don't understand it. Like, that's the only part that gets me uncomfortable. I'm not uncomfortable by people approaching me or. Or like, you know, wanting to take pictures or anything. It just. The part that makes me uncomfortable is when I. That does happen. And then other people around are looking like, who the fuck is that? And now people are just staring at you, and I'm kind of like, oh, God. Like, because people will make their judgments like, who the does that kid think he is? Or whatever. And it's like, oh, I'm not even. I don't even want to, you know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do this, because I feel like I don't want to explain myself because there's been times where people are like, who are you? And I'm like, oh, I don't even know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, my God, I hate that question.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, that's. That's an awkward one. But I honestly, in the last five years, have not had anything that really stands out to me where I felt like this was a horrible interaction. And I. And I hated that. And it made me extremely uncomfortable or whatever. For the most part, you know, especially in New York, if I go out, people will recognize me, but it's usually, like, very quick. You know, sometimes there's a picture, sometimes there's not, and it's super fun, and everyone just keeps pushing.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not even saying that these interactions are negative. Like, these 99% of the people are kind of. And. And very, very, very, very sweet and, you know, are not being disrespectful at all. You know, it's. And. And it's not like I am very appreciative of it because I am well aware that, like, it might not be like this forever. And I'm very okay with that because, like, it's those people that are putting us in these positions that we could do this, that we could do fucking Madison Square Garden. But, like, there is a level to it that just is uncomfortable for me because it's like this. This interaction is.

[Joe Sanigato]

Is.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's in a bubble. It's not a real human interaction. Like, it.

[Joe Sanigato]

And.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I just like, you're saying, like, who am I supposed to be in this situation?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, like, I. I feel like myself. And to that person, it's just.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's. I'm still waiting through, trying to figure.

[Joe Sanigato]

It out, better way of sort of explaining it. It's like, I feel like me, but the person you feel like I am, I don't feel like that. So do I have to pretend to be like that? Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. I'm like, oh, shit. And they're not doing anything, like, overtly most of the time to make me feel that way. But it's just like, they know me as this. So, like, if they're seeing me and they see me as that, like, do I have to be that right now?

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, you want to be, but also you kind of feel, like, bad because you're like, I don't know if I can do that. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And again, they're not doing anything. It's. It's me. It's really just me waiting through. It's waiting through, trying to figure this all out. And it's difficult.

[Joe Sanigato]

And if you're. If you're watching this and you're a little confused, like, just imagine that, like, all of a sudden you would go out and people you know are like, know you. Like, strangers, like, know your name. And then some people want to take pictures with you, and some people, like, reference things in your life that you didn't even know people knew. Like, if that happened enough, like, eventually you become a little desensitized to it, but if it happened enough, you'd be like, okay, this is sort of weird. It sort of changes how I behave a little bit. Because, like, even for me, if I go out somewhere and this has been happening to me for a while. Flex. But this has been happening to me for a while. But if I'm out at a place and I know that people have come up to me and even they're super nice and, you know, whatever. I think some, like, not now, but, like, for a period of time, that would reflect in my behavior because I would feel like, oh, I don't feel like I can be totally myself now because someone's looking at me and. And I don't even think they're doing this. But I think me having. Being insecure of feeling like, oh, I have to, like, be somebody now because people here are expecting exactly what I just said. Yeah. Like, it's like, oh, no. Now I have to, like. I don't know. It's like a weird feeling.

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, it's not real. I'm doing it to myself.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. And that's exactly what I just said. And 90, 99% of the time, all of the interactions have been kind and they've had such nice things to say about us and our show. And. But it's just like. It's just a weird thing. And then like you said, the people. Like that someone will come up and take a picture. And then literally, I had a guy at a pizzeria go, who the fuck are you? Yeah, what am I supposed to say to that? You know what I mean? Like, and I know it's. It's a New York, New Jersey thing where they're not impressed by anything. You know what I mean? It's like, who the fuck are you? I don't give a fuck. You know, you play for the Yankees. I only like that, like, it's. It's very weird space to live in. And.

[Joey]

Yeah, you don't play for the Yankees. We know that. Right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Fucking crazy. Absolutely. We're talking that we're having a nice conversation and that's what you chime in with.

[Joe Sanigato]

He's like, yeah, but let's. Let's just get this out of the way. You don't play this for the fucking.

[Frank Alvarez]

I have gotten.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yo.

[Frank Alvarez]

I gotta admit, I thought I was meeting the catcher for the Mets today. I swear to God.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, his name is Francisco Alva. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Recently someone said to me, like, oh, I. There was a small part of me was excited I might have been going to the, you know, meet the catcher of the Mets.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's so funny.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I'm like, nope, you know? No, I know I am not the catcher for the Mets.

[Joe Sanigato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

But.

[Joe Sanigato]

That'S all I got.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, well, we didn't do that. At least I was a catcher never for the Mets. Right. You know, but that was. Listen, the finance bros conversation. This.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, we waited to the end of the episode. It wasn't the entire episode.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was a couple minutes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, totally fine. And I'm gonna sweat my ass.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

But thank you, guys. You know what?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's wrong.

[Joey]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Anyway, thank you guys so much for making it through that conversation. A little venting sesh, a little therapy with me and Frank. No big deal. Joey loves these episodes.

[Frank Alvarez]

What, like, where I, like, we have, like, deep conversations.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, I got to trick you into therapy. I know you're not going, but you guys, thank you so much for watching. You know, like Frank said earlier, go to the Basement, yard.com. get tickets to our shows that are coming up soon. There's still some tickets left. A couple of shows left and we are super excited. Thank you to everyone who joins the Patreon patreon.com basementyard. You can follow me at Joe Sanigato. Go follow the show at the basement yard on everything. We're going to find you.

[Frank Alvarez]

You find me with a mouthful of tiramisu.

[Joe Sanigato]

And that is all. See you guys next.