#524 - Rhett & Link Are Here!

Summary

The Basement Yard #524 – Rhett & Link Are Here!

Release Date: October 13, 2025
Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez
Guests: Rhett McLaughlin & Link Neal (of Good Mythical Morning)

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Episode Overview

In this lively and nostalgia-fueled episode, Joe and Frank welcome internet legends Rhett and Link to The Basement Yard. The foursome riff on everything from childhood lies and parental love to elaborate cereal rankings and the pitfalls of YouTube stardom. With trademark irreverence and camaraderie, the conversation spirals through hilarious anecdotes about wet hands, peeing beds as adults, ethical bug-eating, and the absurd evolution of YouTube thumbnails. Along the way, they tackle philosophical questions about the nature of hot dogs, cereal, and heroism in child-rearing, all rooted in their shared love of food and absurdity.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Introductions and Dynamic Setup

• The hosts joke about having to sit close together due to the guests, launching into playful banter about personal space and the quirks of facing guests rather than each other.
  • "This is gonna be an interesting dynamic because you guys are now not looking at each other." — Rhett (01:01)
• Riff on Link’s lack of peripheral vision and how it affects podcast dynamics.
  • "He doesn't have peripheral vision because of his glasses." — Rhett (01:07)
  • "He doesn't know when other people are talking ... So he'll just start talking." — Rhett (01:20)

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2. Sweaty Hands, Dads, and Parenting Theories

• Rhett shares a story about his dad buying him prescription Drysol for his sweaty hands in high school.
  • "My dad got me a prescription ... He was like, we got to put something on your hands because of basketball." — Rhett (02:41)
• Frank flips it into a running bit about correlation between fatherly love and hand moisture.
  • "The more your dad actively loves you, the wetter your hands get." — Link (04:20)
• The panel jokes about the impacts of paternal affection (or absence) as measured by dermatological oddities.

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3. Vivid Family & Dream Confessions

• Link details an unsettling dream about failing to save his grandma, Mama Nell, from choking—prompting cast-wide dream analysis.
  • "I had to give her the Heimlich ... She died ... I couldn't solve it." — Link (05:24–06:02)
  • Discussion devolves into memories of real family choking incidents, dentures in whiskey, and silver linings in dream guilt.
• The group collectively interprets the dream, drawing on real-life anecdotes and gallows humor.
  • "Is it like a powder?" — Joe (03:38)

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4. Parental Lies, The Poop Monster, and Raising Kids

• The crew debates the art of lying to children (“parental folklore”) for discipline or fun.
  • "It is a foundational part of being a parent is you need to lie to them." — Joe (19:55)
  • "Toothpicks used to be 12 inches." — Link (20:12) (As an example of a silly lie)
• Joe’s vivid example: convincing his daughter a “poop monster” will eat her butt to aid potty training.
  • "The best one that we got going right now is a monster will eat your butt ... if you don't let us change your diaper." — Joe (21:00)
• Rhett and Link reveal their own childhood and parenting lies, discussing the cyclical nature of lying as both parent and child.
  • "At a certain point, the tables turn and they start lying." — Link (27:53)
  • "Do you get mad at those lies, or are you just like, nice try, but Daddy knows best?" — Joe (28:01)

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5. Confessions: Wet Dreams, Peeing Beds as Grown Men

• Multiple admissions of adult sleep accidents, usually due to dreaming about peeing.
  • "Within the last 365 days, I have peed my pants once in the middle ... I was in bed and I was having a dream that I was peeing." — Joe (32:08)
  • Link shares his own hotel- and mom’s house-based mishaps.
• Group discovers 75% of present men have peed their beds as adults, sparking further camaraderie and embarrassment.
  • "Have you peed the bed as adult men?" — Joe (32:07)

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6. YouTube Culture: Thumbnails, Clickbait, and Career Longevity

• Reflect on Rhett & Link's long-standing status in YouTube — since 2006, parallel lives, Good Mythical Morning’s 13-year run.
  • "We feel like we've lived a couple of YouTube lifetimes." — Rhett (40:28)
• Delve into the evolution of video thumbnails, the artifice of exaggerated faces, and audience resistance to format changes.
  • "It's part of our process. We shoot an episode, and then just, like, stand in front of a screen making faces." — Link (64:34)
  • Live demo: Rhett and Link coach Joe and Frank through a sequence of exaggerated thumbnail faces.
    • "Let's go with really ecstatically happy, but then also terrified ..." — Link (65:41)
• Discussion about not alienating core fans with over-sensationalism, gradual changes, and balancing relatability vs. quality.
  • "Anytime you change anything, there is going to be a little dance." — Joe (70:22)

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7. Food Fundamentals: Hot Dogs, Olives, & Weird Eating Habits

• Lighthearted debate over hot dogs, with hot takes: mustard vs. ketchup, childhood trauma, and partner's refusal to eat hot dogs.
  • "My wife has never eaten a hot dog." — Link (15:30)
  • "Divorce her." — Joe, joking (15:32)
• Rapid-fire round: Foods they refuse (olives, tomatoes, tuna), odd in-flight beverage choices.
• Philosophical musings on what defines good parenting via food—hot dog safety for kids (cutting techniques), responsible adulthood, and V8 on planes.

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8. Gross-Out Challenges: Bug-Eating, Fear Factor, YouTube Trends

• Rhett & Link discuss their legacy of eating weird things on Good Mythical Morning and how YouTube policy has changed.
  • "It might have been for over five years. It doesn't work anymore. You can't eat GROSS Shit on YouTube anymore." — Link (52:02)
  • "We were actually, at one point ... developing a party game ... Will you eat the bug?" — Link (53:05)
• Confessions about the ethics and regrets of eating live insects on camera for entertainment.
  • "The rhino beetle ... that's my deepest regret of you. I'm proud of you." — Rhett (54:33)

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9. The Great Cereal Draft: Nostalgia, Rankings, and Marketing Mania

• Extended, passionate debate about the best and worst cereals, with faux currency “spend $8” rules.
• Top picks include Cinnamon Toast Crunch (CTC), Oops All Berries, Mini Wheats, Raisin Nut Bran, Apple Jacks. Deep dives into the psychology of cereal advertising (“K-leg” in Special K ads), the cereal-masturbation connection (Kellogg’s Corn Flakes), and taste vs. nostalgia.
  • "Cinnamon Toast Crunch ... the best cereal. It is the number one." — Rhett (74:00)
  • "Raisin Nut Bran ... It has raisins that have been candied, rolled in nuts." — Link (74:39)
• Hilarious tangent: inventing a “jerk-off cereal” for marketing purposes.
  • "If you were to create a cereal and it would be a cereal to promote self sexual love, what would it be?" — Joe (88:28)
  • "Boob loops." — Frank (89:40)

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10. Audience, Nostalgia, and Self-Referential Humor

• Callback moments: The "K-leg" Special K ad debate resolved live on YouTube.
  • "This is what happens to us. We say, like, yeah, we remember this, and then it never happened." — Joe (86:52)
• Audience engagement discussed: how referencing old props (e.g., a phone Joe used to use as an editing cue) connects old and new fans.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On comparing generational trajectories:
  "So you think that we are older future yous." — Rhett (13:50)
• On lying to children:
  "The best one that we got going right now is a monster will eat your butt." — Joe (21:00)
• Re: YouTube thumbnail shame:
  "We just, like, stand in front of a screen and, like, make some faces ... there's some shame but not full shame." — Link (64:54)
• About eating bugs on camera:
  "It was like eating, like, an elderly person's toenails." — Rhett (54:56)
• Philosophy of cereal choices:
  "It's a smart man. I am more afraid of not having Lucky Charms." — Joe (81:01)
• On Special K advertising mythology:
  "There was a woman who wants to be fit ... her leg would come out and her leg would make the logo." — Link (84:22)
• On cereal and self-control:
  "Kellogg's actually said that the early version of Corn Flakes could help suppress sexual desires, prevent self pollution. Because it was so bland." — Joe (87:59)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:35 | Show introduction & special guest hype | | 01:07 | Link’s lack of peripheral vision and podcast setup jokes | | 02:41 | Sweaty hands, Drysol, and basketball story | | 05:08 | Link’s dream about failing to save grandma | | 10:12 | LifeVac anti-choking device, hot dog safety tips for kids | | 15:30 | Link’s confession: his wife has never eaten a hot dog | | 27:53 | Rhett & Link on lying to their kids; children lying back | | 32:08 | Grown men admit to bedwetting stories | | 40:28 | Rhett & Link share early YouTube/parallel life stories | | 52:02 | YouTube’s changing gross-out policies, eating bugs on GMM | | 63:14 | Discussion on YouTube thumbnails, making faces, and authenticity | | 71:39 | DIY cereal draft and passionate food debate | | 88:28 | Cereal marketed for "self love" brainstormed |

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Conclusion & Where To Find Rhett & Link

• Rhett & Link plug their show Wonderhole, now in its second season on their original YouTube channel, youtube.com/rhettandlink (91:58).
• The hosts wrap things up with gratitude and playful references to cereal mascots and mythological advertising.

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Tone & Style

True to form, this episode is rowdy, affectionate, irreverent, and deeply niche—in the best possible way. It's equal parts confession booth, food tournament, and therapy session, balancing gross-out humor with genuine warmth and tongue-in-cheek wisdom from veteran content creators.

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Perfect For: Fans of internet history, food debates, behind-the-scenes YouTube talk, silly vulnerability, and anyone who’s ever wondered what it would be like if their childhood best friends grew up (but not too much).

Transcript

[A]

When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans. Send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets. Mom 60th and never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail] welcome back to the basement.

[B]

Welcome back to the basement yard. Me and Frank are sitting next to each other today. And it's not because we like each other more than we actually do, which could be true. We don't know.

[A]

No, wait. I'm very confused. That's a. That's a weird place to start. Let's start again. We're sitting next to each other because.

[B]

We have a special guest today or two. Special guests.

[A]

Special guests.

[B]

Make some noise. There's no one here for Rhett and Link, everybody.

[C]

This is gonna be an interesting dynamic because you guys are now not looking at each other.

[B]

I know.

[C]

This is a thing that we run into, especially with Link. He doesn't have peripheral vision because of his glasses.

[D]

Can't see him at all right now. I still can't see him. I still can't see him. And now I still can't see.

[C]

And he also has.

[D]

I can see him now.

[C]

He doesn't know when other people are talking a lot of times.

[D]

So he'll just start talking.

[C]

And he needs a visual effect.

[D]

And he is me. What?

[B]

Now I'm confused of what's going on.

[D]

Thanks for letting us use your desk.

[C]

Yeah, that's. My Link isn't a character. I'm just saying this is gonna make it worse. And I'm gonna see how this works for you guys.

[A]

I mean, I think it might work for the better of the episode on our end. Because normally I wanna jump over and strangle him. I think I have the opportunity to do it now if I really need to.

[C]

Yeah. He can't give.

[D]

It's more of a gentle reach and strangle.

[A]

It's just like one of these instead of a. Like if I got to get up and move, that's a lot of energy to put into physically harming him.

[B]

Which he could do. Which he will be sued if he does do that.

[C]

Who are you?

[A]

You're gonna sue your own company? Do it.

[D]

I feel like we are like dually newscaster.

[C]

We're gonna throw it over to.

[B]

Weather guys are the newscasters. But we were in at your. This is what I was actually worried about here.

[A]

This is.

[B]

This is what I was actually worried about here.

[A]

I didn't even plan on that. It just happened, so.

[C]

That was beautiful.

[A]

We'll see what else happens.

[B]

Your body just did it out of nowhere. We were in. Don't talk to us.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

There you go. He. He has very sweaty hair.

[C]

I do? Yeah.

[B]

You're a clammy guy.

[C]

So clam who do you think you're pretty clammy, honestly.

[B]

You touched me, and it was a little wet.

[A]

Well, I just washed my hands.

[B]

That could be it.

[C]

When I was in high school, my dad got me a prescription to something called Dry Saw, which was. He was like, we got to put something on your hands because of basketball. You got to be able to catch.

[B]

That basketball while you were dropping the ball. You turn the ball over a lot.

[C]

Well, I wasn't.

[A]

Dude, your dad told you you sucked at basketball.

[C]

I was actually pretty good at basketball. That's the thing. I was insulted by it. He was, maybe. I was like, I'm a little bit worried about how sweaty my hands get. So we got some dry salt, but I don't use that anymore.

[D]

It still is on the market, and it's a thing. It is our.

[C]

Well, now there's that. There's that other product. I'm not a spokesperson for it, so I'm not going to mention it. Glovesmart. But they're not. My hands are not nearly as bad as they were in high school. That's not that bad.

[A]

Lick it.

[C]

Yeah, lick it.

[D]

It's as if it's already been licked.

[C]

No, no, it's not that bad. It really isn't that bad.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, if you're. If you're, like, having to, like, your father is giving you a product to deal with, something you might need to admit it might be a little bad.

[C]

It was very bad in your store.

[A]

Is it like a powder?

[B]

What is it?

[C]

No, it was a. It was a liquid. I think it was just alcohol. I think it was just alcohol that you had to get a prescription for.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

That's kind of cool.

[D]

I didn't grow up with my father.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, so no one told you that you had disgusting hands either?

[D]

No, I have the driest hands in the world.

[B]

That's why you guys work so well. He's wet, you're dry.

[D]

Yeah, it's a Jack Spratt type thing.

[A]

There's gotta be, like, a correlation between, like, a father's love and just, like, abnormally dry hands or something like that, because I had.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Some of his love. But I had pretty wet hands, too. So maybe.

[B]

Are you saying that dads have dry hands or.

[D]

He's saying that the more your dad actively loves you, the wetter your hands get.

[A]

I would say so, yeah. Your body feels more expressive to excrete whatever.

[C]

I feel that you do.

[D]

I feel that.

[C]

I feel like my dad loves me a little bit less than he did when I was a child. And so my hands are a little.

[B]

They're drying up. Yeah, they're drying up. Of his love.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Well, I'm glad we got to the bottom of that. Now we know why people have wet hands and dry hands.

[A]

When it comes to, like, parent stuff, we're interesting on here because we openly.

[B]

Talk about.

[A]

Really needing the love of our dads. So forgive us if actually you brought it up. You struck the chord.

[C]

You're listening.

[D]

Yeah, I was trying to tee it up.

[C]

While we're talking about family, I didn't think I was gonna mention this. I. Speaking of my dad, I had a dream last night.

[B]

This is good. Yes.

[C]

About my grandmother. His mom, Mama Nell, who has been no longer with us for, like, 20 years. So it's okay. It's not too soon. Mama Nell, if you're watching, she has.

[D]

Been no longer with us.

[C]

I was at my parents old house, the house that I grew up in. Mama Nell was there. She choked, and I had to give her the Heimlich. And she.

[B]

Nothing.

[C]

She died. It didn't come off.

[B]

You killed your grandma?

[C]

No, she died of choking, but I couldn't solve it. And I was.

[B]

Listen. And she was like.

[C]

She was so little. And I thought I was going to break her. And I was like, giving her the Heimlich. And then my brother. I'm yelling, cole, dad.

[D]

Mom.

[C]

And Elle's choking. And then my dad's like, mama Nell's choking. He's, like, making fun of me from across the house, like, I'm making it up.

[B]

So wait, she died in your arms? Does she go limp?

[C]

I. She just. Yeah, I. And then I just, like, sit her down and then.

[B]

Oh, you gave up.

[C]

Yeah, I did. I did. I was like. And then my. And just me and my mom standing there. It was a horrible. I wanted to start the podcast on a positive note.

[A]

Well, this is a great note.

[B]

You set her down and she was just sitting in, like, a chair, and she's just.

[C]

Yes, I went. And then I was thinking, am I gonna get charged with something, like. Because if you can't save somebody, I mean, I was in a dream state.

[B]

You know, so your grandma dies and Your first thought is, am I gonna get in trouble? Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

What's gonna happen?

[D]

That is a compliment.

[B]

She's gonna get out of it.

[C]

She's been dead for 20 years.

[D]

I'm going to Mexico.

[A]

So something you might not know about us. We are dream experts. Self appointed. A big part of this is obviously going to be what she was eating. What did she choke on? Because that. That is very symbolic of maybe some.

[B]

Guilt that you carry with you in.

[A]

Your very, very non. Dry hands.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

I think I thought she only ate corn liquor.

[C]

Feels like a country song.

[D]

She had like a liquid diet of.

[C]

That Might have been whiskey. She was a whiskey.

[A]

She was a whiskey lady.

[C]

She wasn't choking on whiskey.

[B]

My grandma was a Manhattan lady.

[A]

My grandmother was a say it pills lady. In terms of she needed them to remember anything.

[D]

Right? Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Well, Mama Nell would drink whiskey every night. Then she would take her teeth out for us, me and my brother. She'd be like, you want me to.

[B]

Take my teeth out?

[C]

And she'd take them out and then she'd talk with her teeth out. And it was the most entertaining thing I've ever experienced.

[B]

That sounds awesome.

[D]

Now you go to bed.

[C]

She.

[D]

You know, it's time to go to bed when your teeth come out.

[C]

I don't remember.

[A]

That's a pretty good impression. Did you know Mama Elle?

[D]

I met Mama Nell.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Mama Nell. Excuse me. And is that seems very prone to Chubb.

[C]

Mama Hell. L L. Okay, right.

[A]

Like.

[C]

Like we don't know where she's at.

[A]

I'm not making any assumptions, but it.

[B]

Was like the whole teeth. Or does she take like a couple.

[C]

Like a hockey player? The whole thing. She was gumps.

[B]

Do they really put them in like a glass of water like you see in movies?

[C]

She put them in the whiskey.

[A]

Oh, that's.

[B]

That's pretty.

[C]

Gotta let these marinate overnight so she can get a little drink. Right.

[D]

Putting the mix up first thing in the morning, boys. Yeah.

[C]

Gotta suck it off.

[D]

So answer that question.

[C]

You know what?

[D]

They're trying to interpret your dream. What did she eat?

[C]

I came into the kitchen late. But this is all related to a real life event where during Christmas dinner one year. I told you about this. He choked at the table and she choked in front of everybody. In my family. We're not. We're not really quick to intervene. We like work this out on you.

[B]

Yeah, you got us.

[C]

You know, we're like, we'll give you a second.

[B]

You're starting to ruin dinner.

[D]

So figure it out.

[A]

Exactly.

[D]

We were all Having a good time.

[B]

And you're choking.

[A]

All right, the floor is yours. Go ahead.

[C]

And she choked, and then she spit it onto her plate. And it was. It was Christmas dinner. It was made probably ham. So I think this was a regurgitation, if you will, of that memory. So it's probably ham.

[A]

Wow, okay.

[B]

Have you ever given someone the Heimlich and, like, saved a life?

[C]

Nope.

[B]

You're a big dude.

[A]

If you gave someone the Heimlich, especially Mama Nell.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

You're.

[C]

You're supposed to break a rib.

[B]

Her ribcage.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Her rib cage is. It's a wrap.

[C]

Well, have you seen the thing on TikTok that suck back?

[A]

Yeah, I got one.

[D]

You got one?

[A]

I got one. Yeah. Because I saw it happened to the Situation. The Situation. Oh, Jersey Shore.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

He fucking.

[D]

He.

[A]

He saw the product, he got it and it fucking. His kid was choking and it saved his kid's life. And I was like, buy five of these things. Cause they're like single loaded shot, like cartridges.

[B]

What?

[A]

So, yeah, so it comes with like, it looks like a plunger. And then in there are little mouthpieces. And each one is like a single shot. So we have a couple at the house.

[D]

You have one on your person.

[A]

Not on my person. You're not at home with the kids. What is the point of. My wife is with the kids right now. If I bring it with me, she's gonna be.

[B]

Lifestyle choking.

[A]

Right there.

[C]

Yeah, I got you. But I don't think it'll work over facial hair. Cause I don't think you can get a tight seal.

[D]

I need more. I cannot visualize this thing yet. You're saying.

[C]

Sometimes I don't know why I get this at.

[D]

You have to pick the right mouthpiece to put on it before.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, listen, it's not perfect technology, but if it worked on the situations. Kid, I like to think about something that I know.

[D]

And then the seal on the mouth, and then you pull something back.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It'll suck whatever's in your throat out.

[C]

Like a.

[B]

Whatever.

[C]

You're choking way better than the hymen.

[D]

It's like a reverse Super Soaker.

[A]

See, I imagine it would be like a plunger. Like I would just in and out. Because either the food is coming out or it's going.

[C]

Do that again.

[D]

Or it's going. You're either pushing it deeper.

[A]

You're pushing it deeper. I mean, is that not.

[D]

Yeah, if it goes to the bottom of the lungs, they'll be fine.

[A]

Well, wait, hold on. This is a Serious question.

[B]

If you ask that question, I'm gonna kick you out.

[A]

When you choke on food, it gets stuck in your lungs or just in your throat?

[B]

That was the question.

[C]

No, if it goes in your lungs, you don't die immediately, but if they don't do emergency surgery, you will die a couple of days later.

[A]

Oh, we got days.

[B]

Let me recant my judgment. That's possible. Something can get in your lungs like that.

[C]

Yeah. If food gets into your lungs, it causes a aspiration. Yeah. This happened on the. The only reason I know this is because it was just on an episode of Pit. The Pit.

[B]

The Pit.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Everyone loves that show.

[D]

I ain't watching that.

[B]

I have no idea what this is.

[C]

I don't.

[A]

I mean, you don't like medical shows.

[C]

Everyone was into it, so I felt like I needed to watch it. But then I was like, you guys just tricked me into watching another medical drama.

[A]

I can't watch those shows and think any of it is real.

[B]

You should hit that. You should hit yourself with that thing. Just for fun. That's how it is.

[A]

I mean, I don't want to. I'm gonna save it for, like, God forbid. Like, we need it on one of the kids. Yeah, it seems.

[D]

But you should know how to use it.

[A]

Well, it comes with, like, a little card and with, like, pictures on it and.

[D]

You've read the card already?

[A]

I've seen it. I. I've seen that the card is there.

[C]

You should test it on one of the neighbor's kids.

[B]

It's kind of like a taser.

[C]

You gotta. You gotta make sure that it works.

[B]

In order to, like, understand the power of the taser. So then you gotta.

[A]

It's a pretty good point, honestly.

[B]

Back yourself.

[A]

It's called life. LifeVac, by the way. Free plug for that.

[D]

By the way.

[C]

Are you doing the long cuts on your hot dogs?

[A]

Listen, my friend, hot dogs don't last long enough to be cut in my house.

[D]

Okay?

[A]

There's a hot dog about.

[B]

Hot dog cut.

[C]

Well, a hot dog, you don't want to get stuck in a child's throat. And then that's it.

[A]

See, this is. I gotta.

[B]

It's a good little trick of this, right?

[A]

I'm really honest with something. It's like we're talking into our future selves. Like, you seem like you have the information that we need. Like, we love hot dogs. We're big hot dog fans. So now as you're presenting us with a more responsible way of eating hot dogs, which. The responsible way to eat hot dogs is to not because apparently they're not good for you. That's what we need. That's the information that we need here.

[B]

So you, like. You spatchcock this thing.

[C]

I don't do this anymore.

[A]

My kids spread eagle.

[C]

My kids are past the choking stage.

[B]

Got it.

[C]

At least in that form. And so basically, you cut them long like this. And then now you have, like, basically this. This can't. You can't choke on this because air gets through that side. You see that? Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Go ahead.

[B]

Oh, you make like a. Got it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

When you put that in your mouth.

[B]

Well, they're gonna clip that. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That's immediately gone.

[C]

You saw. I could. There's no way I could choke doing what I just did.

[D]

I don't. I hope I wasn't in it.

[A]

So what would be.

[D]

I think I was smiling.

[A]

What would be the.

[D]

I think I was looking at him and smiling.

[A]

Hold his back and his hair back.

[C]

When he does it.

[D]

So you think that we are older future yous.

[B]

That would be nice.

[A]

I would love if that ends up working out for us.

[D]

I think that as. Yeah, I think I like this.

[A]

I mean, looks wise. Let's just. Let's start there.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Yep. Right.

[A]

Let's start there. All right. We already have established momoa. Momoa. All day, every day.

[B]

All right.

[A]

And, I mean, it just works. And it's not like we're making this up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The universe provided us with this.

[C]

It's said to us all the time.

[B]

Now there's two.

[A]

I mean, it just.

[B]

It works.

[A]

And then, I mean, you guys, you got the salt and pepper going on, which is working very well for you. You're lean. Okay. You wear glasses.

[B]

I just got new glasses today.

[A]

See?

[D]

Oh, you did?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it just. It feels like. Like, Joey loves wearing things like patterns and stuff like that that are. Like. Right now you're wearing this. It makes sense. So, like, if this is what we have to look forward to. Very happy.

[B]

Yes. Also very successful. I'll take that as a trajectory.

[A]

You know, what else do you guys.

[D]

Need to know besides hot dog cutting, though?

[B]

That's it.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

A lot of. A lot of what we are known for is our passion for hot dogs, our enjoyment of hot dogs.

[B]

You got any other adjectives?

[A]

The intensity and fervor at which we consume them.

[B]

Fervor?

[C]

Yep.

[A]

That's a good question.

[B]

Bet you didn't think we were gonna say that.

[C]

I am surprised.

[A]

You guys cool with hot dogs?

[C]

I love hot dogs.

[D]

My wife has never eaten a hot dog.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Divorce her.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Where Is she now?

[D]

She's young. She's really young.

[B]

Why? Why?

[D]

She's older than me.

[B]

She's never eaten a hot dog.

[D]

Glasses are fogging up.

[B]

It's a little toast now.

[D]

If you're going to start wearing glasses.

[C]

They will fog to defend your wife in this situation. Because when you say, my wife has never eaten a hot dog, she's just been against it. It might be like, oh, she's, like, super picky, and she feels like she's a. But no, like, me and his wife have, like, very similar taste.

[D]

Her name is. Let's. Let's. Let's call her by her name.

[C]

Just call her wife.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

But yeah, this one thing, she just. Somebody told her a story about what was in a hot dog when she was a kid.

[D]

I'm a super picky eater, but she is not. She embraces everything except hot dogs. Because it's. She always knew that there's disturbing things lurking in there.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, of course.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

See, I was older when I got that, and it was already too late.

[D]

Too late.

[B]

Had I been debriefed at 4, I probably wouldn't love them.

[D]

Right?

[A]

I'll be honest. It had the opposite effect on me. I found out about the questionable things in. It made me more excited. I thought I'd be, like, patient zero. They'd be like, well, it didn't mess him up.

[B]

Now you're just making a point. Like, no, they are healthy.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I will continue to eat these and be fine.

[A]

Absolutely. But we fully commit to hot dogs here. I can't believe, like. And you've tried to, like, offer, like, here, try this hot dog.

[C]

Well, he's not much of a hot dog guy.

[B]

I was gonna say I'm the last.

[D]

Person to force any food on anybody.

[B]

What's, like, one food that you're like.

[D]

Because he does that to me all the time, and I'm like, I don't want to do that to anybody else.

[C]

Right.

[B]

What's. What's. What are some foods that you're like, absolutely not.

[D]

Olives.

[B]

I don't like them either.

[A]

One of my favorite foods, hot dogs and olives. Dude, we're right here.

[B]

What else? What else you got? Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Tuna fish. How you feel about doing it?

[D]

Pretty much it. But I don't really, like. I can eat tuna in raw tomatoes. No tomatoes.

[B]

No cherry tomatoes, though.

[D]

No tomatoes, he said. He literally specified no tomatoes.

[C]

You sound like, raw. I'm like, hold on. Heirloom. Yeah. You're getting the bad ones, man.

[B]

Like, I get the Big slices of tomato. They're a little annoying, but like a cherry tomato.

[A]

Tomato adjacent products, ketchup, marinara sauce.

[D]

All that's good. Oh, I was gonna say, and I'll drink a V8 on a plane.

[B]

That's insane. What? A V8.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

Something about that's so funny. A V8 is crazy.

[B]

That's like a 90 year old drink.

[D]

I would never. I would never ever have a V8. But then on a plane, it's just.

[C]

Yeah, we gotta just taste change, I gotta tell you.

[A]

Does it really? Because we were just talking about that we took when we were in Columbus. We got there and we were just like. For some reason on planes, people just drink straight up V8 and they're like, maybe it's like a Bloody Mary thing.

[C]

No, your tastes change at that altitude.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

See, this is why, like, we need this information now. You know, we would have assumed this and ran with it as if it was absolute fact, but now we're just gonna take your word on it.

[C]

They actually flavored the food differently to anticipate that change. It's also one of the reasons that ginger ale is so popular on planes.

[B]

Are you lying? Because I. Like, this is dangerous what you're doing.

[A]

No, it's not.

[D]

You're saying, I think it's dangerous to ask because I learned to not ask years ago because my world would just repeatedly crumble.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

In middle school, I remember one day I showed up at the lunch table and then Rhett starts to talk. He's like, he's doing something like this. And then he's eating and I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm activating the molecules in my food. Hell yeah. It tastes better if you shake it.

[C]

Yeah. And then I.

[A]

You know what?

[B]

You guys are very alike. Because that does sound like something he would do.

[C]

And I got a lot of people in the cafeteria to do it. Now, I knew that that was bullshit.

[B]

You're walking in there, but you just.

[A]

Wanted to see if you could.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So incredible.

[C]

Everything I've said up to this point, it's fun to see, as far as I know it, but if I begin lying, it will sound exactly like the truth.

[B]

You're a big fan of gaslighting.

[C]

Is what I'm gathering here for fun? Yeah.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Then it's not technically gaslighting if it's for fun. It's pranks.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. It's all pranks. I don't do it for. I don't emotionally manipulate people.

[D]

The only reason he's glad to have children. Why were we ever. Because it's more people to lie to.

[C]

Right? I've told so many lies to my kids. Are you. Are you lying to your children?

[A]

Oh, my God, I love it.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

The best feels like that you're supposed to.

[A]

It is a foundational part of being a parent is you need to lie to them. Because then if they figure it out on their own, you're done, you're screwed, you've lost.

[B]

What's like, the biggest lie? Because I, like, I think I don't have any children, but I would. I would think that I would make up, like, really good ones. Like, I would tell my kids that I invented the moon and shit.

[D]

Like, yeah, those are, those are good ones. Like toothpicks used to be 12 inches.

[A]

Why that one? I mean, I like it because I'll use it.

[B]

Right?

[D]

Because it's meaningless. Because it doesn't. I mean, if they repeat it, there's just more fun to be had. Yeah, that's true. I mean, you just don't want to start lying in order to, like, change their behavior, right? Like, you know, Santa's watching.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Or worse. You don't want to do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who would do that?

[D]

But.

[C]

But, like, inconsequential.

[D]

All humans are born with six fingers on their left hand, but then they eat it right before they're born.

[C]

That's a good.

[A]

Pretty good. That's a good one. I did. We. We were like trying our youngest to like, potty train her right now. The best one that we got going right now is a monster will eat your butt. Like, if you don't let us change your diaper, you'll get a monster in your butt and it'll eat you. And that's good.

[D]

And were there follow up questions from your.

[B]

What?

[A]

I mean, no. She. Maeve is very inquisitive. She asks why, how, when. That's the scary one.

[D]

She's a journalist.

[B]

My questions are, how did you get there? How did you get.

[D]

And why did you use the phrase eat your butt?

[B]

That's what I want to know.

[C]

Well, because I may be confused.

[A]

It's just, you know, diaper is an all encompassing prison around, you know, like, that's how she feels. So I'm like, all right, how can I make her feel more comfortable? I let her believe that there will be a monster. And then who's gonna save the day?

[D]

Daddy.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Daddy will save the. Or Mommy, wait, so what.

[B]

What are you trying to accomplish?

[A]

Get her afraid of not changing her diaper.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And then she uses the.

[B]

So you're saying that if she poops in her diaper, that is attracting the monster? It is.

[A]

No, it's making a monster. There's monsters?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, there's monsters. It's like an episode of Goosebumps. You know, put it like that.

[C]

It's like a monster slug.

[D]

I still don't understand.

[A]

We all have.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's like the idea of, like, we all have two bears in us. You know, like the bear that we feed and the bear that, you know, we don't feed and, like. What?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Manifests. We all have poop monsters in us.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you allowing the poop monster to take control of you, or are you getting rid of that poop monster?

[C]

Yeah, before.

[B]

Got it.

[D]

So, okay.

[C]

Really?

[D]

Because the poop is the monster, and.

[B]

It is the reason for the monster.

[A]

The reason for the monster.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

It's quite a primordial soup.

[B]

It is what it is. What's feeding it is what it is now. I don't know.

[A]

I mean, it is. It is a classic Grecian, you know, tragedy of our own hubris. You know, we give way to what is eventually going to be our downfall.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Now you got them going.

[C]

Listen, we have told ourselves stories as a society for millennia, so many years. In order to control our behavior. We've made things up that probably aren't real in order to make sure we do the right things. You're just following in the tradition of humanity.

[A]

Who am I, if not a part of this folklore history that we have had as a human race?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So this is your, like, Greek mythology.

[A]

This is exactly what that is. You know, I mean, what is the difference between the gods of the Greek pantheon and a poop monster, really?

[C]

Nothing?

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

We don't know that for sure.

[A]

We. I think we know it with a good amount of confidence.

[B]

All right, before we continue with this lovely episode of the Basement Yard, we do have some sponsors, the first one being Squarespace. Okay. Squarespace is going to be the platform that you're going to build your next website. Okay. Or you're gonna upgrade your current website with Squarespace, Okay. Because they have a bunch of templates on their website that you can use. You click on them, it populates a website. It looks amazing. You don't have to hire a coder or anything like that, or build it from hand. You know, it takes a long time. But with Squarespace, they make the process very easy, very seamless. All you have to do is switch out some text and some photos and you have a professional looking website, which is important because that is your first impression when people are coming to either buy something that you're selling or to check out what you're about. Okay, so make sure your first impressions with your website are great and Squarespace is going to help you do that. They also have a lot of tools that you can use to optimize your traffic and let you know where the best traffic is coming from, where you need to spend more of your marketing. So it's a great thing. So head to squarespace.com baseman right now to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay, so that is squarespace.com and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. All right, so get to that. Also, we have fitbod. Fitbod is a. It's an awesome thing. It creates a personalized workout routine for you based on your goals, based on your experience and your availability to equipment. So if you don't have access to a gym, but you have some dumbbells, they can create a workout plan for you revolving around that. And also, like I said, the goals. So whether you want to lean out, you want to put on mass, you want to get stronger and, or lose some body fat, whatever the, whatever the case is, they will make a workout plan that are, that is catered to those goals because not every workout plan is created for those specific things. So they do that. They also, the workouts adapt to your growth. So each workout is challenging, making sure that you're, you know, putting on muscle or whatever the case is. Also, if you don't have a lot of experience, this can also be a very good learning tool because they have over a thousand demonstration videos so can really help you out and educate you on certain movements and workouts. So they cover all the bases here and it's going to be cheaper than your local personal trainer. So you can get 25% off your subscription or try the app for free for seven days at fitbod Me Basement. Okay, that's F I T B O D me Basement. And you will get 25% off of that subscription. Okay, so again, that is Fitbod Me Basement. Go try it for free for seven days.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Do you have like a big lie that you told your kids growing up?

[D]

I'm still concerned about. It's Maeve.

[A]

Yes, Maeve.

[D]

Maeve. I mean, I mean whenever she has a bm, if I may.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Yep.

[D]

I mean, is she screaming in terror?

[A]

No.

[B]

She will.

[A]

I mean, if she does, we'll handle it then. You know how it is. Whatever works at the moment, Daddy will.

[B]

Slay the poop monster at that point.

[D]

That.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

He'll never be back.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

It's like. It's like the Riddler.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, now we're. Exception of.

[D]

Mm.

[A]

The Riddler can create the crime and then be there to clean up the pieces. And people like, oh, my God. The Riddler is kind of not a bad guy anymore, guys. He saved the day. Create the issue with the poop monster, so then if it comes up, she gets a little freaked out.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Who's gonna save it, Daddy?

[B]

So I think the lesson that I'm learning here as someone who's not a father yet, is traumatize them so that you can be the hero in that story.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Is there nothing more? Is there nothing more noble and selfless?

[D]

Right.

[B]

True.

[C]

Because they need that. They need a hero.

[D]

I know that you're lying to your kids all the time. I don't know if you.

[C]

It's been so many years at this point.

[B]

You know, so many years of lying.

[C]

I mean, my youngest child is now 17 years old. That's how old I am.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Good for you.

[D]

At a certain point, the tables turn and they start lying.

[C]

Now they just lie to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But I can tell. I can tell now they're paying you back. Yeah, I can see.

[A]

Do you get mad at those lies, or are you just like, nice try, but I'm Daddy knows best.

[C]

I'm mostly amused by them. Like, I'm not gonna give the specifics of this story, which may make it much less funny to tell. So I'll make it very short, but.

[D]

Well, you're choosing to protect.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Some privacy instead of going entertainment.

[B]

When he was 15.

[C]

When he was 15, we knew that he had done something. He made up a lie. But the lie he made up was, like, five times worse than the thing that we knew he had done.

[B]

I did that.

[C]

And then when I found out what he. I was like, I know that you're lying about this, but just so you understand, the lie that you made up is worse than the thing that you actually did.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And he was like, yeah. I don't know what I was thinking.

[A]

Quite noble of him.

[C]

So we just had a conversation about, if you're gonna lie, let's learn how to do it.

[B]

Yeah. Like, it's supposed to be less. You know, he's done that before. There's a story we've told on this podcast before where he. Was it a new cell phone? Yes, he got a brand new cell phone and he drank a lot of Coca Cola before bed.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So he ended up peeing the bed, breaking the phone.

[D]

So you peed on the phone?

[B]

Oh, yeah, he peed everywhere. Not just the phone. He got everything.

[A]

Yeah, it was collateral damage at that point.

[B]

But then his dad was very upset, so he's like, I got to think of something. I can't tell him that I peed the bed because I drank all this Coca Cola. So in instead, he inferred that he had a wet dream.

[C]

He upgraded.

[A]

He upgraded to the wettest dream that's ever existed.

[C]

I came on the phone.

[B]

Yeah, that's exactly right. I came so much on the phone that it broke.

[A]

Well, I was like, there's no way.

[B]

Like, in the same way that you're like, I'm just, like, choosing to believe their story of playing along. What is going through your dad's head in that moment?

[A]

I mean, I knew my dad was pissed because I was what we were. We were 13 at the time. It was a brand new next hill, and I know it was expensive and I knew it was like a chore just to get the phone as it was.

[C]

Right?

[A]

So in my head I'm thinking, all right, I know he's upset because there's stains everywhere, because I slept it, like, on, like, a little, like, mat. And he was. It was. It was like on the mat, on the bed. It was. It was. It was a weird divorced parents. And I was thinking, like, all right, I know my dad really wants to be included in, like, the whole, like, me growing up and sharing with him and, like, being a. Being a, like, dad. I'm going to tell you another, like, relatable guy thing. So he could just be like, you know what? I know what this is like. Don't worry about it.

[B]

So you came on your phone for him? I did. To be closer to dad.

[C]

Well, well done, son. It's quite. It's quite a lot of coke.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Did he say anything?

[A]

He was pissed. I remember he was sitting down.

[B]

He didn't mention, like, that.

[A]

He was like.

[C]

He didn't go, what?

[B]

No, you didn't.

[A]

So. So he was sitting down with a blow dryer. Drying. Drying the mat.

[D]

It's going to get hard. Yeah, if it's what you're saying. It is.

[A]

And now that dad. This is my dad in 2005, freshly quit smoking cigarettes.

[B]

Oh, he's Stressed.

[A]

He's stressed for several reasons.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And. And. And I. And I'm like, you know, it.

[D]

It.

[A]

I explained, you know, the story you told, and he just goes, no, no. Yeah. He instantly called it. He immediately called my bluff. And I just. At that point, I had to double and triple down on it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So, yeah. I mean, if. And when he sees this, he'll know. Or if he already knows. He probably seemed like he.

[C]

Oh, wow. You haven't cleared it up with it.

[B]

No, no, no, no, you didn't, Frank. No, you didn't.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But it was, you know, in that moment, I was thinking more of him than I was of myself.

[C]

More heroic acts now. Have you peed the bed as adult men?

[A]

No.

[B]

Funny you say that. Within the last 365 days, I have peed my pants once in the middle shorts. I was in bed and I was having a dream that I was peeing. This has happened before, but, like, and then when I woke up, I was, like, peeing, and then I look and then I look and, like, I didn't full fully pee. I had more pee, but there was. It was not a couple drops.

[A]

The tube.

[B]

I. I was able to use my muscles. I didn't physically put a clothespin on it, but I woke up and I was like, oh, my God, I'm peeing.

[C]

Yep. Same thing happened to me this year.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

At a fancy hotel.

[A]

Peed.

[B]

Fancy hotel bed.

[A]

That's the time to pee, though.

[B]

Was it a full.

[C]

It wasn't a full release, but it was enough to leave my pants and get onto the bed.

[B]

That's a lot.

[C]

But Link did it at his mom's house. At his mom's house.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

As an adult.

[D]

As. Yeah. It's like a couple years, three years ago, maybe. Yeah, I was. I was. I was in the bed at my mom's house with Christy, your wife and I just.

[A]

We got that part. Yeah.

[D]

I woke up. Woke up peeing.

[B]

Yeah, woke up peeing.

[D]

Could not stop it.

[B]

Wait, you full peed?

[D]

Full.

[B]

And your wife was like, she didn't.

[D]

Well, she didn't wake up immediately. And so, like, then I. I had to do a. I had to do a manual pinch.

[B]

Yeah, well, yeah.

[A]

System override at a certain point.

[D]

System override, exactly. Yeah, Right there. So I. And then I'm like, I'm getting out of bed and I'm. I'm running to the bathroom. And there was more. So I guess it wasn't full, but.

[B]

It was a lot.

[D]

It was so much.

[B]

You're about 80 through.

[C]

It was enough.

[A]

Where were you on the bell curve, though? You know what I'm talking? Were you, like, in the middle or were you, like, coming down?

[D]

I think I was right at the peak because there was still some pressure when I got to the toilet. And then when I turned around and went back to the bedroom, like, all the way down the hallway, there was just like.

[C]

Oh, you had leaks.

[D]

Drippy drips. Did you pee through.

[A]

Did you pee through your knuckles?

[B]

What does that even mean?

[D]

I was using my fingertips to ask a question.

[B]

Do you think that he wasn't like this?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's.

[C]

Protect me.

[D]

I wasn't grabbing it, like. Well, like a.

[A]

And then P could get through.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah.

[D]

No.

[A]

I don't know what he's got working with over there. That's more disrespectful than anything.

[C]

Right? Okay, I see what you're saying.

[D]

Grab the bottom.

[C]

You just figured a pinch wasn't enough. That's.

[A]

Well, no, I'm just saying, like, there's different ways.

[C]

Listen, it requires two hands.

[A]

I mean, some of us. Some of us, you grab it like an eagle. It's like. Like I captured a bird.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

It's not like opening a doorknob.

[A]

So, like. So what was the. Did your mom find out?

[D]

Well, Christie, I got. I, like, laid down.

[C]

Up.

[D]

I was like, I'm gonna deal with this in the morning. I, like, put down a towel.

[C]

Oh, yeah, towel.

[D]

And then I just lay back down on the towel. And then when. Like, a couple hours later, when she rolls over, she's like, why is there a. Why is there a towel here? And she was like. And I was like, dad, I had an amazing wet dream. She was so confused.

[A]

And you did that for her?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That was good.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I ended up telling my mom that we were gonna need to do some full. Full laundry. We're gonna have to go all the way, mom.

[B]

So that, you know, she probably liked that. It's like, oh, it's just like, you're young again. You know, you're in the room and you're pissing yourself.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Just like old times. Yeah.

[C]

You've never.

[B]

You haven't pissed recently?

[A]

No, I'm afraid of, like, when you said, like you told us recently, you slept naked. And, like, that's a reason, I'm afraid, because, like, if I am, I really haven't peed the bed, and I couldn't even tell you when. But if I'm at least. If I'm at least clothed, I know that there's Like a barrier. A bit of a barrier. You know what I mean? Like, before you get to, like, unleash the hounds, like, you know, they have to get through a couple rounds.

[B]

I don't think the fact that you're wearing shorts to bed is the reason why you're not pissing.

[C]

What are the rubber shorts.

[A]

That's a good point, honestly. And also, we don't know because we don't know what would happen if the inverse happened. What's Schrodinger's cat?

[D]

Yeah. If you were naked, you think you would pee if you were naked? I think because, you know, you wouldn't have a bearer, you'd be less likely to pee yourself.

[A]

Well, I'm not peeing myself now. And nothing is less likely than it. When it doesn't happen.

[C]

That's true.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You like that.

[C]

But 75% of the men right here have done this as an adult.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So chances are you will join us.

[A]

I can guarantee that.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

One more time. One more time. I can guarantee you that of that 75, a hundred percent of them have slept naked more frequently than I have.

[B]

Because zero would be.

[A]

No, because I don't sleep naked. You have. I. I don't know if you guys have, but I think it's a safe assumption to say that you probably do at some point.

[C]

Not regularly, but, yes, it happens.

[A]

I'm sure it happens. You seem like a confident man.

[B]

Have you pissed?

[D]

Is that what, Recently?

[B]

Recently, no.

[D]

As an adult?

[B]

As an adult, I have.

[C]

Okay, so you haven't.

[B]

I have.

[D]

And were you dreaming that you were peeing?

[B]

I think that's how it always goes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I woke up.

[D]

No.

[B]

And then.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Right. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. You were also.

[B]

Yeah. I scared everyone in the house.

[C]

That's how it goes.

[B]

It's like, woke up like Ebenezer Scrooge.

[C]

Well, we told that story on our podcast, and I was, in the context of, like, I felt bad about the fact that I did it in a hotel bed, but we were also checking out that day.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I was like, they probably deal with all kinds of stuff in the bed. And then a woman who works in hotels, like, called in and she was like, yes. Like, wet beds, for whatever reason, are very common. It's a very common thing. They don't think twice about it.

[B]

If I think about a hotel bed.

[D]

I'm like, yeah, let's not.

[A]

I think I. Well, yeah, I. But I think I know why. It's. It's more of like, a. Like, standing up to the authority. You know what I'M saying, like, peeing in a hotel room.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

More time. What is. What does that mean?

[A]

There's something about a hotel room that just. It's. It is like the poster child of capitalism.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, if you're in, like, a nice hotel and, like, you treat it a little poor, like, you're like, I'm. I'm one of the. I'm one of the people. Like, I'm kind of doing this for.

[C]

Piss in the bed, Break a lamp.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Steal the soap.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That kind of stuff.

[B]

You seem like a guy who takes the. The conditioner. Oh, yes. Yeah.

[C]

What about the hair dryer? Just take that.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no.

[D]

They're typically not great.

[B]

Yeah. They're whispering at you.

[A]

My mentality is if I'm paying for it, I'm taking it. I'm not paying for, like, the appliances, but I'm paying for the soaps. Chocolates. I've never eaten a single chocolate in a hotel room, but I've taken them all.

[B]

Did you take. In the hotel we stayed at, like, two days ago, there was a bottle of wine. Did you take that?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. It was cool. They gave us a bottle of wine and some popcorn. I had a little bit of each of the popcorn. I opened the wine, had a glass of wine.

[D]

Oh, so you had it there. Yep. You didn't.

[B]

Oh, I thought you took it with you.

[D]

Decant.

[A]

Oh, no, I left it there. I didn't bring it home and decant it. But, like, in theory, if I consumed it, I am taking it with me.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Spirit in spirit, right?

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

I mean, am I. Is that wrong, too?

[B]

No, it's beautiful. It's absolutely beautiful. One thing I wanted to talk about with. With you guys is that. Do you guys sort of recognize that you are treated as this, like, oh, geez, YouTube royalty? Because you've been doing it. When was the first time you guys put out, like, a YouTube video together?

[C]

Oh, six.

[A]

That's. That's when I was coming on my phone.

[D]

Yeah, you wish. You wish you were. Yeah, yeah. We. We've been through a lot of phases and so, like, I mean, good mythical morning was only the past almost 13 years.

[B]

Years.

[D]

But, like, there were so many.

[B]

Is that all 13?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. And then it's like. Yeah. We feel like we've lived a couple of YouTube lifetimes.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

We're really glad to still be here.

[B]

It's crazy. I mean, it's. Since 06 is wild, is that. Were you guys doing it separately or. It was always together.

[D]

Always Together?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Came up together, first grade, you know, parallel lives. Yeah, we pretty much went through everything. I mean, I got married a year before him, and we recently realized that the only time in our lives when it wasn't completely parallel, like, you know, always grew up doing. You know, we were best friends growing up. We went to college. We were roommates in college together. And then when I got married, I moved out. I was like, I'm gonna move him with my wife now. Yeah, I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna leave you, friend.

[B]

Did you guys cry?

[D]

No.

[C]

Don't believe.

[D]

So I. I let him keep the couch.

[B]

Right.

[D]

You know, so Mr. Fly felt like that was good enough. Well, there was a.

[C]

Well, there was a rat that was living in the couch at the time.

[D]

Yeah, I'm gonna let you keep that. And then.

[B]

A rat living in the couch.

[C]

Yeah, we discovered that later. Yeah.

[A]

Was it. Did you guys pee on that couch?

[D]

Remember, the rat never peed on the cloth.

[C]

Did a lot of stuff.

[B]

I'm sure the rat pissed on that thing.

[D]

Well, okay. Well, so there was. We had another roommate, Tim, who shall remain nameless. And he was. He was just a dirty dude. We're still friends with him.

[B]

Is he still dirty?

[D]

I think he's still really dirty.

[A]

You know, someone's gonna scour every. Everything to find who this person is.

[B]

Dirty tip.

[D]

He brought all the candy that he got from trick or treating or something.

[B]

You guys have an apartment together and he's trick or treating?

[D]

Yeah. Junior year in college, he's like, I got all of this.

[A]

He just put trick or treating.

[D]

I got all of this candy, and he just left it in the living room on the floor. And we were like, you know what? We are not cleaning up after Tim. We're gonna leave this just like that on the floor.

[C]

We made that face.

[D]

And we're gonna make him. He's gonna clean up his own candy. And to his credit, you know, he slowly, over time, he started cleaning up the candy.

[C]

But it was eating it.

[D]

He was, like, cleaning it up.

[B]

I don't know.

[D]

It's like, I'll give him credit.

[C]

One piece at a time. He's kind of picking it up, you know, and then. This is interesting.

[D]

It was all gone.

[C]

Well, but there was a couple of moments there in the middle where he would eat, like, part of a piece of the candy and just leave it on the floor.

[B]

Like a. Like, take a bite out of a Tootsie Roll and then leave it.

[D]

Oh, I don't like this.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like on the R. On, like.

[C]

I was like, what is happening? But we didn't talk about it.

[A]

I'm not buying this. I can smell the. I can smell the nonsense here. I'm not buying it. Keep going.

[D]

So candy gets gone. One day I get home, we've forgotten about the candy, and I open the front door and there is the apartment pellet gun, which. We had one of these.

[C]

Yeah. And it was propped up in the 90s, North Carolina.

[D]

It was propped up by the.

[C]

You had a pellet gun in your apartment?

[D]

It would. They. Some roommates, not me, would shoot rabbits out of the bedroom window.

[A]

That's not true, boys.

[D]

It wasn't. It wasn't me, and it wasn't Rhett. We would never do that.

[A]

And it.

[D]

We.

[A]

And you have no idea who it was?

[D]

It was our other roommate.

[B]

There it is.

[D]

Yeah, it definitely wasn't us. So pellet gun was propped up, and it had a note on it. Like a post it note. Nobody at home. I, like, pick up the pellet gun. I look at the post it note, and it says, there is a rat in the apartment. If you see it, shoot it. And so I just put the. I just put the pellet gun right down. I was like, what?

[C]

In my handwriting? You recognize my handwriting?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So what happened at that point?

[C]

This is what happened. So I'm home alone earlier that day doing the laundry. And of course, it's one of these college apartments where the washer and the dryer are in the kitchen, you know? And so I'm like, doing the laundry, and then I see movement out of the corner of my eye. I turn and there is a rat coming out from underneath the fridge. It is so big that it's having to, like.

[B]

Oh, no.

[C]

Like, extricate itself.

[D]

Hell, yeah. And it's like doing an army crawl.

[C]

And it just kind of comes out and just looks at me and is not even frightened. I would say this long before the tail started.

[A]

Get the fuck out of here.

[B]

That's a raccoon.

[C]

So that long with the tail. And so I immediately do what any normal man would do. I grab a gun, I would squeeze like a pig. I grab the nearest pellet gun, and I think I'm gonna be able to, like, get a shot off because it was. It was just standing in the middle of the kitchen. But by the time I had to, like, go to wherever that gun was, the living room, whatever. And then I come back and he's moving into the dining room. And then I'm like, okay, he's behind this piece of furniture. And he disappears behind the piece of furniture. And then we see there's, like, a little hole in the wall there. So realized we had a rat. And that's what was happening with the candy. Eating half a Tootsie Roll. Of course, it wasn't Tim.

[D]

He had built a nest in the couch. We started with all of these Pixie Sticks and Tootsie Rolls.

[B]

That's a pretty funny.

[D]

He pulled the couch out to see where he's going in the water. And it was like, whoa. No, no, no. He's going in the.

[C]

There's rat shit everywhere behind the couch.

[D]

Oh, my God. It was idiot Tim.

[B]

How did you guys get out of there without diseases?

[C]

So here's the thing.

[D]

We didn't.

[C]

The story progresses to the point where a couple of days later, like, we didn't do the thing that you're supposed to do, which is just call a professional because we were just in college. We're not paying for anything. Right. It's like, we will handle this. Two or three days later, I'm in the kitchen. I come home, into the kitchen, and I see there's a mouse. Not a rat, a dead mouse in the middle of the kitchen, right where I had made first contact with the rat. And it was as if he was saying, look what I'm doing for you guys.

[D]

Hell, yeah.

[C]

I'm killing the smaller versions of me. Keep me around.

[A]

He stood there like, I'm like, you guys had. Like, this is my place now.

[C]

Right?

[A]

And then when he saw you were going for the gun, he was just.

[D]

Like, I'll be back.

[A]

All right. You know, I'm here. It's a mutual respect thing. I'll prove my worth.

[C]

Yeah. So we were like, okay, maybe we keep him around. We were in the process of moving out, and we later, we never solved the rat problem. When we went back to deal with the, like, the lady at the administration where we were not getting any of our deposit back because of the. What we had done to the apartment. And we were arguing with her about that. We saw our neighbors that we shared a wall with, just some other college guys, and they were like, hey, guys. We had talked to them about the rat. They're like, we caught the rat. We caught the rat in a trap. And he got out of the trap. They used a raccoon trap. He got out of the trap, and then they caught him again, and they took him to the front desk, and they just set him on the front desk.

[D]

Hell, yeah.

[C]

That's how his story ends. As far As I know it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

20 pound rat.

[A]

Are you sure? That's how it ends. You guys didn't, like, take the rat.

[C]

And, like, you know, it was outside of my domain at that point. It was the neighbors.

[D]

Yeah, there's always room for a sequel, but, yeah, I don't do well with that dude.

[A]

Bring in the rats. He's very squeamish with, like, little, like, creatures or.

[C]

Yeah, I don't like them either when.

[B]

They have little hands and, like, faces and shit. I don't.

[A]

It's all right. We grew up outdoors. We know what it's like.

[B]

You grew up two blocks from me. We grew up outdoors.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't.

[D]

I don't. I don't touch anything with. With scales or antennae or. I don't touch anything.

[B]

Like, if there's a roach in your house, I could kill it. I just want to pick it up.

[D]

Yeah, kick it.

[A]

Just.

[B]

Just kick it.

[D]

Just kick it.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

We would do open the door and just try to kick it out.

[B]

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[A]

We would do like recently we were talking like if we were to do Fear Factor, what it would be like, I would be eating this stuff. I'd be lying in the coffin with the stuff on top. And then he'd be the one doing the athletics stuff, which I think we'd.

[B]

Be okay if you did the episode tandem stuff. But like, yeah, if I gotta get in a coffin, you put a bunch of hissing cockroaches on me. I can't.

[A]

Nah, they're not that bad. They're just little friends. They want to live.

[D]

Yeah, I don't.

[B]

Have you ever eaten a bug?

[D]

Yeah, dude, we've, we've.

[C]

We haven't had.

[B]

You guys have eaten.

[D]

There's been. There was like the really nasty era of good mythical morning for a couple of years there. I mean, it might have been. It might have been for over five years. It doesn't work anymore. You can't eat GROSS Shit on YouTube anymore.

[C]

You get like demonetized.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, you could probably still eat. You can eat like crickets or whatever.

[D]

But that, I mean, they don't want you vomiting blood or just vomit.

[B]

Got it.

[D]

You can't Be showing vomit. I wouldn't. I never vomited, but I would. I mean, I made it. I made quite a career out of gagging for a number of years.

[A]

Absolutely.

[D]

And. But those days. Those days. Those days are long gone. But, yeah, I mean, we went through, like, so many bugs. We were actually, at one point, we were developing a party game, like a packaged party game with. It was like, a collaboration with a legitimate gaming company, and it was called who's gonna eat the bug? Or something like that. Will you eat the bug? And then it was gonna ship with, like, dried bugs in it in a.

[C]

Little window in the box where you could see the crickets. It was cool.

[D]

We had the prototype and everything. We can do this. We can do this. Yes. We're a legitimate gaming brand, but we can ship bugs to children around the world. We can do that. So they can eat.

[C]

And it came with, like, gummy versions of it. And then, like, the real bug and like, the. It was a game to figure out who's gonna be. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Then I think they realize, yes, you know what? We're not gonna do that.

[A]

No.

[D]

We talked about our lawyer.

[C]

Really, really hard to get the bugs for some reason. So they get, like, intact crickets.

[A]

Well, I mean, you think of, like, the farms and stuff like that. They don't want to be like, oh, well, we're a, you know, a cricket farm that is just raising these things for slaughter for other people, I guess.

[B]

Is that a thing? Yeah, there's farms.

[D]

Of course there are bug farms.

[B]

Yeah, I make sense. But I'd never even, like.

[A]

Guess that's regular farms, too.

[D]

So I guess, yeah, it's regular farms.

[C]

And this is not that bad. I mean, I don't look forward. Bugs aren't bad to eat the, like, apocalyptic future. They're dry eating just bug protein. I'm not excited about that.

[B]

Did you eat, like, a spider?

[C]

That's plenty of spiders.

[D]

Plenty of spiders. Tarantulas.

[B]

Tarantulas, yeah, we've had.

[A]

We had some. We had crickets. We had the.

[B]

I didn't get any of that.

[A]

Danny and I did it that. That one time. It was like, crickets and, you know, stuff like that.

[C]

You did the worst thing ever, though, which we wouldn't do now. And you didn't feel good about it, but you were kind of put on the spot. You ate a live beetle.

[D]

Yeah. That wasn't. It wasn't.

[C]

And it was. It was that. That one. It was a rhino beetle. Have you seen those things?

[A]

Those are cool.

[B]

It was, like, building as one.

[D]

Yeah. That's.

[C]

That's my deepest regret of you. You know, I'm proud of you.

[B]

I'm not proud of it.

[A]

Was it like, you felt bad because of, like, it just was really tough to get through or, like, the ethical reason?

[C]

It was also like eating alive. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

It was like eating, like, an elderly person's toenails.

[A]

They're scusting.

[D]

Sorry.

[A]

I'm letting you know right now there are certain people watching this that are just like. Okay, all right.

[B]

Toast. Okay, hold up. Dessert.

[D]

I mean, because you know how the older they get, the thicker they get.

[C]

The toenails.

[A]

The toenails specifically, you know, we're not there yet. We're not there yet. I remember I've known some old people, and I've seen their feet, and they're not. They suck.

[B]

All you should have seen is Grandma's feet.

[C]

It's bad.

[A]

Yeah, No, I mean, they were in rush trouble.

[D]

Instead of growing out, they start growing up.

[B]

Yeah. Like another layer.

[A]

And then, like, they, like, grab toe underneath.

[C]

They're trying to protect the hole.

[B]

It's like a helmet that grows over the toe.

[C]

It literally.

[A]

It looks like a bob. Cut.

[D]

You let it happen, right? And you go. Yeah. That's what it's like eating. That's a scorpion, I guess. Yeah.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Any of that.

[A]

It's weird because, like, I am. I would be the one that would do it. But, like, it's gotten to a point where, like, the Internet is just, like, it's the thing to do to get people to watch. So, like, there's really no point to do it anymore anyways.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I will say the scene in the Lion King where they're eating bugs. Those look delicious.

[A]

That does look really good.

[C]

Are you familiar the animated version.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Well, technically, they're both animated.

[C]

That's true. What was the other one?

[D]

Seems he got you, right.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Wow.

[C]

I can't. I gotta stop calling that. Yeah. The live action.

[A]

Mission accomplished.

[D]

When are we going to hit him with the Lion King double animation?

[A]

I have so much useless knowledge about movies and TV that when something like that happens, that's the first part that I'm going to think about when I'm resting my head on my pillow tonight.

[B]

Just, like, got him.

[A]

I finally used it, guys. It finally works.

[D]

You got us.

[C]

But I'm glad we're through that. That phase. Yeah. I mean, there's occasionally something like when we do our live show. Good Mythical Morning Live. When we travel, which we have done this year, there's some worm Eating and some spider eating.

[D]

We have a game called Picker Peek or Poker Face. So it's. You got the lazy Susan. And then one person gets to peek at what's under there. And then they get to. And then the other person gets to.

[C]

Decide, makes the decision. Are they gonna.

[D]

Based on what's in front of them.

[C]

Or what's in front of them? They don't. Without knowing just based on what his face looked like.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You get a gummy worm or a real worm.

[D]

You should play this.

[B]

Is it like one good thing, one bad thing?

[D]

One good thing, one bad thing. And based on their reaction, you're like, I'll take it.

[A]

Or they turn.

[D]

Yeah, I'm gonna let you have it. Or not. And when we're doing it on stage, it's like people are reacting.

[C]

And because they know it really works live, it's.

[B]

Write that down. We're stealing the idea, not giving credit.

[D]

You should do that.

[C]

Yeah, it works live, but it's like, it's. YouTube has sort of had it.

[A]

No, you know what? I think you guys seem like you're really married to it.

[B]

You could have.

[A]

You could keep doing it.

[D]

We will keep doing it, but maybe you can give a resurgence to it.

[A]

Yeah, let's do one together.

[D]

Okay. A quadruple pick. A Peek of Poker fish.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We say that five times fast.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I've never done it.

[D]

Next time you come back out, we'll do a four way.

[B]

You guys are gonna bring bugs. And I'm just. If I open the thing and there's a rhino, beetle, whatever the fuck it's called, video is gonna end real quick.

[D]

So you have a standard. You're, like, watching what works, and you're deciding what you're not willing to do, what's up. Like, you're not willing to eat gross stuff even though. Because other people are doing it, is what you just said. Me.

[B]

Yeah, no, yeah, I know.

[D]

I'm saying for the sake of views.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Popularity.

[B]

Well, like, I just can't, like, my body physically. If there's a beetle, like, I. There's nothing I could do.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[D]

That's the best position to be in for entertainment.

[A]

Well, the other part of the position that he's leaving out is that growing up, because this. The dynamic was like, you know, we're 12 years old. We want to film someone doing, like, you know, getting kicked in the nuts or something like that.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

He wouldn't even need to say, like, I'm not doing it. I'll just be like, yeah, I'll do it. And he's just like, okay.

[B]

He's picking up the slack.

[A]

I'm picking up the slack in this situation. So, like, even at this point, like, yeah, we're not doing that stuff now. Ironically, the thing that people want to see us eat is very edible, but I just. My body refuses. It is mustard. So, like, anytime we do a video, this little bastard over here fits mustard in or on.

[C]

Hold on. You're a hot dog guy?

[A]

No way. I am a hot dog guy. I'm not a mustard guy and a pretzel guy, and I love pretzels.

[B]

No mustard on pretzels.

[A]

Absolutely not.

[C]

So just ketchup on your hot dog?

[A]

I have a variety of hot dog costumes that I like. For the most part, all of them involve ketchup.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

That's an insane way to say costumes is what. But you're.

[C]

I understood.

[A]

I dress them up differently.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

What would be the reaction to mustard if you had it?

[A]

I mean, I'm not gagging.

[D]

You're just waiting for the right moment to.

[A]

No, I, I. It stems from. You're a picky eater, you self. You've explained that you're a picky eater. When I was, like, 4 years old, my friend's mom gave me a sandwich, and I. At that time, as a kid, you know how kids are. They need to know exactly what they're eating. If they eat something that. And they're like, what you didn't tell me about this. They'll hate it forever. They'll never touch. Was a bologna sandwich. Big bologna fan right here. I mean, I'm up on bologna. Okay.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

But when I bite in a bologna and I'm told it's baloney, it fucking better be baloney. It was bologna and mustard.

[B]

It's tough. That happened to me when I was younger. There was a little serving dish that had sour cream in it. But I was young, and I was like, this is ice cream. And it wasn't. So that kind of scarred me for a little bit. I'm back on it.

[D]

But it seems like you. Don't you understand that, like, when things happen at your expense, then that is to the. To the benefit of the line viewer.

[B]

I got a line, and bugs are the line. You know, I'll do other stuff for sure, but mustard.

[C]

But by building it up. Right. Like with mustard.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

So now you've kind of set your. This is how we think about it. You sort of set yourself up for the, like, big fundraiser or whatever.

[D]

Something's gonna eat mustard he's gonna get.

[B]

In a dunk tank.

[D]

Well, right.

[A]

What came first, a chicken or the egg? I mean, where. I'm very well aware that this also might be as a result of my own creation. You know, that, like, people want to see me do it, but it's just. The reaction is real, it's authentic. I can't. I don't know when it's coming all the time, and when I. When it happens, it's bad.

[B]

What if we get a beetle? Let me cover that.

[D]

So you don't want people to. You don't want to share that with people.

[A]

It's too late.

[B]

It's out there.

[A]

It's too late.

[D]

Oh, you've already done it.

[A]

It's been out there for years.

[D]

Okay, got it.

[A]

So at this point, it's over. It's more of just like an anticipatory thing on my end.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

You know, and anywhere we go, for the most part, we get people dressing up as mustard.

[B]

Hot dogs.

[A]

Hot dogs. People offering cups of mustard. We did a show in Austin and someone walked up and gave me a cup of mustard and was like, well, what are you gonna do with this? And I was peer pressured by this person in the audience.

[C]

Yeah, but you didn't need it.

[A]

I did.

[D]

Oh, what else are you not willing to do from, like, a creator standpoint? Like goofy thumbnails.

[B]

Oh, like, yeah, yeah, I would.

[A]

I would.

[B]

I don't think I. We may have. We mostly do thumbnails of, like, they're from the video. Okay. We don't. I don't think we've ever done, like, photos.

[D]

Bit jealous of that.

[B]

I mean, I think that it makes. Probably makes for a better thumbnail to do that. It's just. I don't know. You know what it was like, I feel like when I started doing YouTube, I didn't. I didn't really watch anybody. I wasn't that familiar with people, so I didn't really know what was working for everyone else. I just kind of just did, like. I didn't have thumbnails for, like, five years. So, like, I just.

[A]

It was just text.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Sometimes it would just be text or whatever. Or, like, as far as creating really good title or something like that.

[D]

Yeah. Like, do you put, like, emotional no in the title?

[B]

Yeah, it's like, XXX gone wrong Pranker.

[A]

You'll never believe Number four.

[B]

Yeah, right. Like that.

[C]

Yeah. Levels to it.

[D]

There's levels. You gotta. I think this is the other thing we're trying to tell you is that you're. Yeah. Watch out. Yeah, I was gonna start making them thumbnail faces. I. I would say you need to watch out.

[C]

I would say never go back. Started.

[D]

Don't do it.

[C]

Started doing it. Don't start doing.

[D]

Don't start doing it.

[A]

This sounds like the way that you guys were talking about it and, like, taking our responses, and it was just like a. This is something we would have changed. Like, we wouldn't have done it.

[D]

Right.

[A]

And did all of this to where we got to now, you know, like, it made the. What is it? The ends are justifying the means, or the means are justifying the ends. But, like, you would have changed that up a little bit differently.

[D]

That's right.

[C]

Yeah. And the funny thing is, is we are. Well, when you release videos five times a week, and technically 10 if you count. Good. Mythical. More, which is on its own channel. Right. So you got, like, two thumbnails going up every day and that. And we don't. We're not, like. We don't get involved in that. That whole, like, optimization of title and thumbnail is. It's its own science team that's doing that.

[D]

Right.

[C]

We just are like, okay. We hear, well, this is working better now. Or this is through AB testing or whatever. And so we just. It's part of our process. We shoot an episode, and then we just, like, stand in front of a screen and, like, make some faces, and there's like a. I mean, it doesn't get into, like.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, there's a little bit of a.

[D]

Like you said, we have a line, too. It's somewhere between.

[C]

Yeah, and there's, like, there's some shame, but not full shame.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But we have been told recently they're like, oh, we're doing some more, like, screen grabs from the episodes. If something really interesting happens or whatever and people are responding that we're like, great. Yeah, that's. That's great.

[B]

Why don't you guys give your best thumbnail face? Like, they just did.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Where's your line for thumbnail face? Like, all right.

[A]

That scared the shit out of me.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

That's a Halloween video.

[D]

Start with, like, really crazy, and then bring it down to a point where you feel comfortable. Well, we need.

[A]

We need to.

[B]

What's the emotion?

[A]

What's the scene? What's the emotion? How do we feel? Are we tired? What day of the week? What do we got going on? Weather.

[B]

Weather.

[D]

I think let's. Let's go with really ecstatically happy, but then also terrified. So, like, you're both Going to start at different places.

[B]

10.

[D]

Start at 10. Start at 11.

[C]

Okay, so, Frank, you're super happy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm scared. Okay, Joe, you're scared.

[B]

Let's give one directly to the camera. Yep. So I'll be.

[A]

Who am I?

[B]

Oh, no. We're starting at 10.

[A]

Follow. Follow the prompts, my friend. They gave you the prompts.

[B]

We're on a team.

[D]

I know you're terrified, Joe.

[A]

Is there a countdown?

[D]

Static, Same time.

[A]

I'm sorry. Is there a countdown or.

[D]

Three, two, one, go. Okay, and now. And you're feeling. You're just feeling the embarrassment.

[C]

I'm clicking on that.

[D]

It's just too much now. Bring it down a notch. Bring it down to eight, maybe. Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah, just bring it down to eight.

[C]

You're still scared, Joe.

[D]

Joe, are you okay with that?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

I think.

[A]

I can't see.

[D]

I think you've gone down to six. I can't breathe.

[B]

I can't get more scared.

[C]

I don't know how to.

[B]

I don't even know how to be scared right now.

[D]

Don't give up.

[C]

You look a little scared now. You need to be a little bit happier.

[D]

Now let's go down to five. She got on a five. Okay, now, Joe, I feel like I'm.

[B]

In pain kind of.

[D]

Could you live with this? Joe? Is this your line? Yeah, I think now.

[B]

I think. Yeah, I lost it.

[D]

4.

[B]

You're shitting your pants.

[C]

All right, that's what you're doing.

[D]

Go to three. Go to three.

[C]

You just got all kinds of options.

[D]

Keep going, Keep going. You're at three. You're still. You're not ecstatic anymore, but you are a little happy.

[B]

Why are you crying? I see tears welling up.

[C]

He hasn't blinked yet.

[D]

Now the two.

[C]

He hasn't blinked for over a minute.

[D]

Two. And I think. You look like you're in a sweet spot.

[C]

No, that looks horrible.

[D]

That's it. That is your.

[C]

He looks constipated.

[D]

That is your. Used to be ecstatic.

[C]

He just looks a little bit constipated. That's not good.

[D]

That's it. Just use that.

[B]

I feel pain.

[D]

And he's back.

[B]

See, this is why you can't do it.

[C]

This is why he wasn't breathing or breathing.

[D]

I didn't breathe. Okay.

[B]

How is that necessary?

[D]

So clicks, man, Clicks.

[C]

Just the fact that the screen grab from this episode is gonna be the two of you next to each other.

[B]

I know this asshole is gonna do that.

[C]

That's gonna. That's gonna get the Clicks.

[A]

I mean, if we're, if we're smart, the screen, the. There'll be somebody else in the thumbnail to.

[C]

We were actually. We were just talking about this.

[D]

Very.

[C]

This morning we were talking about this.

[D]

It doesn't even matter when we were talking, the.

[B]

Changes.

[C]

So, okay, you guys started doing something different. Like, noticeably different.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

With like your thumbnails or whatever. The people who are like, I'm here for what you guys are doing right now, and I don't need you to sell it to me in any more sensational way than you already do. They would be upset if you started doing that because it's a signal that you're trying to reach someone that's not them. Not them. Right. In addition to them, maybe. Right. But those core people feel alienated by that. That's something that, that we've, we've learned a few times.

[B]

I think that when you change anything, like, even, like. Because for the most part, I. When I started making YouTube videos, it was in my mom's basement and I would hang a sheet behind me. So it was like very low budget. Then it was not with the sheet, different angle still. My mom's basement. Then just on a random wall in my apartment. And then in the last studio, we were against a wall, but it was like one blue wall, one white wall.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Nothing on the walls. So when we did this, I was like, I'm sure this is going to be an adjustment because it's not going to feel like this. Oh, they're just. It's a. It's a low budget version of a show and that makes it more relatable or feel good. So there was a concern of, like, this is a necessary step for us to upgrade and make things look more professional and get better cameras and, you know, stuff like that and make those changes. But they have to be a little gradual. And I actually will say this phone in particular. There was a time where we were shooting in my apartment and I just bought it because I thought it looked cool. And I was like, dressing up to set a little bit. And the thing about picking this up was, like, whenever someone said something that was like, maybe offensive or, you know, you couldn't say the right thing. You'd pick up the phone and like, you're talking to the editor, like, cut that out.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And like, that was like the joke. So brought it back on purpose because I think that was funny and it kind of got lost in our next sort of setup. But a nice, like, you know, thing to kind of Bring it back to a regular time where the people who are fans then now have a little bit like, oh, I know what the phone is. But new people won't know what the phone is.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Because they don't know the old thing. But anytime you change anything, there is.

[C]

Going to be a little dance.

[B]

Yeah. You know, and then we slowly added this guy in, and, you know, then they were like, who's this? And what's he doing? And then eventually got a camera, so it was like, yeah, we weren't gonna jump in here, Put him in, put him on camera, and, like, make everything super different immediately.

[D]

Yeah, it's like whiplash evolve. Yeah, yeah, we've. We've done a lot of that. And then things develop a life of their own. Hey, look at us. We're talking shot.

[A]

I'll be honest, I almost passed out. I had to stop and listen for a couple minutes because I saw tears in your eyes. I'm not. I'm not even. Yeah, this is no bit. I'm gonna, after this, take a really big sip of water and tell him, like, what am I? Am I. Was that.

[B]

Okay, I'll tell you this right now. If you would have fainted on this.

[A]

Show, that would have been like, I would have went like, you hear? You hear. You see my. I'm different now. Like, I feel you went through something.

[B]

Wow, it's beautiful.

[C]

You've come out on the other side.

[B]

We want to get to this thing where we have these two images just to get your. Because you guys are like, food guys. You know, you do a lot of the. Trying the foods and whatever. So we want to know your opinions. Can we pull up the DIY cereal and see which one of these you guys are picking here?

[D]

Cookies, pancakes, Pop tarts, S', mores, donuts, croissants, waffles, cinnamon toast, chocolate pancakes.

[B]

Obviously, all these need to have some milk in there.

[A]

Yes. And the type of milk will be important to me and only me. And I'll yell at you for the wrong choice. The other thing, we. We get a little intense with our food picks here, so there is no pressure to pick something correctly, but there absolutely is pressure to pick something incorrectly, so fucking watch it.

[C]

Okay, noted. Okay, so you. So you would be uncomfortable with me saying that. I'm just fundamentally opposed to this exercise. Why that. I think that. I just don't think we, as a species should let ourselves. I don't think we should let ourselves do this. I think you have to draw some lines.

[D]

I love it.

[A]

If you're taking the route of, like. Listen, this is just. It is a bad thing to consume. Yeah, we're all there. We get it.

[B]

Actually, this is how Frank eats cookies. The cookie one is how he eats cookies.

[A]

Not. No, sorry, incorrect.

[D]

Those are little cookies.

[A]

Well, no, that's why he's wrong. I crush my cookies. I don't leave them whole.

[D]

And you put them in a bowl with milk.

[A]

Yes, I do.

[D]

I am a pro. Dunk it in milk, dude.

[C]

But you know what's going to happen with a. You know what's going to happen, right?

[B]

Yeah, it's going to turn into.

[C]

That's a mush. That's a mush.

[A]

I love 45.

[D]

I love that, too.

[B]

But.

[A]

But no, no, no, no, no. See, like, is it. Is it a mush? Sure, maybe. But if you eat with the intensity and speed at which I am eating that bowl.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

It's not getting there.

[B]

Intensity.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's filthy when I eat.

[D]

So you're picking a.

[A]

No, I didn't say that.

[D]

Filthy. Filthy.

[A]

I didn't say that. Well, let's start here. How do you guys feel about a.

[D]

Is going to be great.

[B]

I agree.

[D]

I think that might be my pick. A number of these are actually manufactured cereals. You know, I mean, I'm the waffles and pancakes. Even pop Tarts, I think did it. We tasted that on the show.

[C]

It was.

[D]

It was pretty good. Croissants. Haven't seen that.

[A]

I'm going H there even.

[B]

Is this even a question?

[A]

Well, see, H is such a cheating answer because that is basically just already Cinnamon Toast crunch.

[D]

I mean, the picture is literally of cinnamon toast.

[C]

Yeah, you can't do that with actual cinnamon anything.

[B]

Cinnamon.

[D]

It is the best cereal.

[B]

Yes, agree.

[D]

It is the number one. What's that?

[B]

What's the second and third, though?

[D]

Well, okay, give us podium. Doesn't need to be at this point. This is just gonna be me personally. Raisin Nut Bran.

[B]

What the hell is going on over there?

[D]

Hey, you'll thank me later.

[A]

I would jump across here and hug you so hard because I am a big, big fan of Raisin Bran.

[D]

Insane. Nope. That's not even what I'm saying.

[A]

And nut brand. Two Raisin Bran adjacent. I love it.

[C]

He won't do the raisin.

[B]

I don't even know what that is.

[D]

What is Raisin brand is for losers.

[B]

And yours is.

[D]

I'm not gonna accept your support.

[B]

Yours is what? Raisin Nut Bran.

[C]

Yeah, it has nut clusters.

[D]

It has raisins that have been candied, rolled in nuts.

[C]

So you don't know the raisins until you bite into them.

[A]

All right, just before. Before you ruin this for me, please just go. What else? What else is on the podium?

[D]

Here are bran flakes. Oh, what else is on the podium? Oh, Reese's Puffs Minis.

[C]

Minis.

[D]

He hates that M I N I.

[B]

He's calling 91 1. I can see that he's doing that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Bring the gun.

[D]

The pellet guy.

[B]

Bring the gun.

[D]

Okay. Dude, they're great in the mini version, and they don't hurt the roof of your mouth. And I'm gonna throw a little.

[C]

The roof of the mouth is a big thing.

[A]

I get that.

[D]

Frosted Many Weeks. No Cap' N Crunch bite size.

[C]

Oh, fair. Here we go.

[A]

Fair. Well, hold on. We'll get to that. But, Rhett, give us. Give us Podium cereals. Give us Podium cereals.

[C]

I'm a Cinnamon Toast Crunch smart guy. I also. I like Frosted Flakes. I'm sorry.

[A]

Me, too.

[C]

They're so simple. They're so sugary.

[A]

They're so great. More than good Milk, too. And more than good.

[D]

The milk turns yellow. I don't care what color it is. It tastes.

[C]

And Honey Nut Cheerios. I'm sorry.

[B]

The other day, I just said I got a craving for Honey Nut Cheerios. Like I'm pregnant or something. I was like. I got.

[C]

I was like, Honey Nut Cheerios with bananas.

[D]

Nope.

[C]

Have you done that?

[A]

I have.

[B]

Maybe when I was younger, I did that.

[D]

You want to. You're gonna come out against Honey Nut Cheerios? Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

[B]

That's insane.

[D]

Reap the whirlwind.

[A]

Honey Nut Cheerios are like. You come on. Like you like Raisin Bran. It's good, Grandma. It's good. You see how he's attacking both of us when he's saying this? I'm trying to attack. I'm trying to attack just Red here because I didn't hear anything about Honey Nut Cheerios out of your mouth. Now he wants to attack both of us. Listen, honey, I am pro.

[D]

Honey Nut Cheerios.

[A]

Okay? So then you. I'll bring a third gun then.

[B]

I think that I'm gonna be brave here, since everyone else, thank you for.

[A]

Standing up for what's right. White man too sensitive to say this?

[B]

Captain Crunch is in the top three cuts. The roof of my mouth.

[D]

Yep. You gotta watch.

[B]

Let's just pull it together.

[A]

But see, the best version of great cereal, the best version of Captain Crunch.

[D]

The roof of your mouth.

[A]

You need to be very specific. Because the best version of Captain Crunch isn't Captain Crunch. It's Oops. All berries. Because the berries are the best part of Captain Crunch.

[B]

Frank. It's time to grow up.

[A]

Time to grow up.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

This is how I hold on to my childhood, my wonder, my, my, my beautiful years.

[B]

So let's do this graphic. You spend $8, we have all of these cereals.

[A]

Let's just go. There is Oops. All berries there.

[D]

I'm going tell you, I'm going to tell you. A sleeper in life and on this spend $8 is life. Yes, Life is a great cereal. It is a sleeper cereal.

[B]

Don't you know what cereal I like, don't love, but I love at the same time? It's kind of like my relationship with candy corn. It's like, I don't love this, but I'm going to eat it. Kicks.

[A]

I like kicks.

[B]

It's like, okay, but I'm like, I like it.

[A]

Berry, berry kicks. Berry, berry kicks is cheating. It's.

[C]

It's cheating.

[A]

But it's kicks. It's. It's on the. It's right there. I think if we go one per.

[B]

Row, you got to spend eight. Frank, there's rules.

[C]

Yeah, you got it. You only get eight bucks.

[A]

Could we all just for the sake of the argument, because I think we're all in agreement here, we know CTC would be chosen. So let's just avoid that for now.

[D]

Yeah, let's take it off.

[B]

Alright, so we're not doing that.

[C]

So we're not even spending money on it.

[A]

No, we're gonna get it, but we're just not gonna spend the money on it.

[C]

Are we eating this in one sitting or is this like for a week?

[A]

Mmm, that's a great question. And I love the conditions that you have here because these are the questions that I ask and I am scolded for it. No. So this will be your one month of cereal.

[C]

Okay, that helps. Because I don't want to eat three or four cereals at once.

[A]

No, no, no. One month. Eat at your own leisure, depending. No confinements to the time of the day. No confinement to the amount. Also no confinement to the type of milk.

[C]

And also this is the only breakfast you get for that month.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. You could throw in some savory stuff every now and then just to break it up. Crispy meat once a week.

[C]

You get a whole lot of swooping.

[D]

In on mini weeks. Cause that is a steal for a dollar.

[B]

First of all, I was thinking about that.

[C]

Oh, hell yeah. I didn't notice that Apple Jacks for.

[B]

A dollar is like highway robbery.

[A]

Jack my apple. I'm taking it.

[D]

Well, they are that. They are good Apple Jacks.

[B]

I'm definitely doing that.

[A]

It's. I mean. Oops. All berries is up there. On principle alone, I need to take it. But I wouldn't hate falling on Corn Pops. Corn Pops.

[C]

Pops.

[A]

Corn Pops. Pops.

[D]

They don't even.

[B]

They don't even have the reflective bag anymore.

[C]

What's the big difference between Pops and kicks?

[A]

One is more corny and one is more like bally.

[B]

Yeah, got that.

[A]

That's the technical term.

[C]

I've never been. I've never been Pops.

[D]

Yeah. Pops are like something that a doctor might remove from your body. Yeah. It's a little organic outline.

[C]

It's more polyps, not pops.

[B]

Got it. Corn polyps. That's a perfect.

[A]

Kellogg's gonna be pumped with that one.

[D]

Colon polyps, yum.

[B]

I think I would go the highest one I'm taking here. Fruity Pebbles. Love them. Love Fruity Pebbles. And I like when they get a little soggy. Ill.

[C]

I must admit, I'm mixing it up with Cocoa puffs. It's only $2. And you get it. You get.

[B]

That's a chocolate.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

There's a lot of value there.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And you think about it. It's. It's the cereal that keeps on giving because the. This. The milk at the end of a Corn Pops bowl.

[B]

A Cocoa Puff.

[A]

That's quotes. That's what I meant. Cocoa Puffs. I'm sorry. I'm still lightheaded from fucking holding my breath for two and a half minutes earlier. What the hell is Crave? Crave is like a new one that's.

[D]

You need to be. I think I've been really careful to not go in on some Crave because my impression is that it's full dessert mode.

[B]

Is it?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And if you start, I might not be able to pull back.

[C]

It's chocolate. Right?

[D]

So it's chocolate inside of these little packets.

[C]

Oh, it's got a filling.

[A]

It's like a pizza. Like a Totinas pizza roll. But inside it's like chocolate and cream.

[C]

That feels like a violet of like a principal.

[A]

It probably is.

[B]

All of them are.

[D]

I have not eaten it because I am too afraid of what it might do to my lifestyle.

[A]

It's a smart man. I am more afraid of not having Lucky Charms.

[B]

It's the most overrated cereal that's ever existed.

[A]

I can't agree with that in any capacity.

[C]

You like the marshmallows, right?

[A]

I Love the marshmallows.

[C]

I love the marshmallows.

[A]

Me, too.

[C]

That type of marshmallow, which. It's not real. It's like. What is it called?

[B]

It's dust.

[C]

It's called.

[D]

It's like a powdery.

[C]

It's made out of something else.

[D]

Piece of, like, couch.

[A]

You think I don't care what the hot dogs are made of? You think I care about.

[C]

I prefer it because it's. Because if you put, like, a real marshmallow and milk, it's like, something too soft. I don't know what happens.

[B]

I don't even like marshmallows.

[C]

I love marshmallows out and about, but those are like. I love a lucky charm.

[D]

Hell, yeah.

[B]

Can't.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And also, Fruity Pebbles are great, but they're better when they're Christmas ones.

[B]

They taste the same.

[A]

No, they will. I will agree that they do not.

[C]

They taste like cloves and cinnamon.

[A]

No, they just like when you. Guys. Guys, I know you're not much older than us. You remember. You remember the holiday cereals that would come out. You're gonna tell me if I put a bowl of regular Fruity Pebbles in front of you and then one where you know that that was made by Fred Flintstone in a Santa hat. You don't like that one? A little bit more.

[C]

Yeah. And they're just all red and green. Yeah, I like that.

[B]

I already have my picks. I'm going Fruity Pebbles, Oops, All Berries, Apple Jacks and Mini Wheats. Now that I think about it, Oops. All Berries and Fruity Pebbles are probably too similar.

[A]

No way. Different flavor profile. You get a fruitier fruit with Fruity Pebbles. Oops. All Berries is a little more. It's a little more. I don't know how to explain it. It makes sense in my head, but it's just more of a manufactured sweetness than a natural sweet.

[C]

What's the backstory on the. Obviously, he made a mistake and dropped the berries in Oops.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I think there was something at the factory went awry, and now they've created a better cereal.

[A]

Oops. Well, the captain, he's been out on the ship for a while. Scurvy is a real thing in the cereal mascot world.

[B]

Turns into scarlet fever.

[A]

Eventually it gets us all. So maybe the Oops, All Berries was just like him overcompensating for the lack of vitamin C on his cereal ship.

[C]

I'm sure it's packed with.

[A]

Apple Jacks, Lucky Charms 5 right there.

[B]

Yeah. Three bucks.

[A]

And then. I don't even need to use the full eight. I'll just go, oops, all berries. And then I have a dollar left over, and I'll get more Apple Jacks.

[D]

Oh, doubling up on the Jack. Wow.

[A]

I love Apple Jacks.

[D]

I'm gonna go with the Reese's puffs, even though they're not mini.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And then I'm gonna go with the Mini Wheats.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Then I'm gonna go with the Apple Jacks and the Special K. Oh, you're.

[B]

Going Special K. It's a lot of cereal. Special K. That's not a bad pick. I like the texture.

[A]

It's not a bad pick. It's an awful pick. Yeah, it's not a good one at all.

[C]

I think it's pretty awful.

[D]

I think I need to, you know, I think I need to mix it into my other cereals just to get a little. It's to get some health.

[B]

I see.

[A]

You must have had, like, real world Special K if you think Special K is a good pick. There's no chance.

[C]

You remember the commercials for Special K?

[A]

I not. No. I do remember the commercials for some of the others, though.

[D]

Is a woman.

[C]

A woman in a one bathing suit? We've talked about this. Yes.

[A]

She was horny for Special K. It was like.

[C]

It was this woman who wants to be fit.

[D]

Her leg would come out, and her.

[C]

Leg would make the logo. Oh, throw it. I'm getting very excited. You haven't seen the special.

[D]

This is why I've chosen the Special.

[C]

K. Her leg comes out and bends, and then it makes the K. Yeah. Okay. I'll never forget it.

[A]

So, I mean, nothing sells cereal better than objectifying women.

[B]

I remember.

[A]

Nothing does.

[C]

It was for women.

[B]

There was a kid in our neighborhood that was, like, bigger and then lost some weight. And I remember asking him, like, oh, how'd you lose all that weight? And he said Special K. I don't know if he meant ketamine, to be fair.

[C]

Oh, there it is right there. Second one. Look.

[D]

Look at this. Yeah, this is. This is just.

[A]

This is recent.

[C]

Yeah, this is a more recent. I'm talking about the 80s ones, but.

[D]

Let'S just see what happens. So she's throwing her scale out the window.

[A]

Why is she doing that? She's got bell bottoms on.

[D]

She's looking at pants.

[C]

Oh, see, there's a leg.

[D]

See, there's a woman putting on pants. Who's gonna argue with that?

[A]

I see no legs.

[C]

They're still selling it the same way. But where's the leg making the K? Where's The K leg.

[D]

It'll come. It'll happen.

[C]

Kleg.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

K Leg liars.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Absolutely lied.

[B]

Which year did you say it was from?

[C]

80S just put 80s.

[A]

I remember some of the. Like the ones when we were kids. It was just like the Reese's Puffs one was like wrapping peanut butter cup. You remember that? It's like Reese's Puffs. Reese's Puffs.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Peanut butter, chocolate flavor.

[C]

Reese's Puffs. Don't know.

[B]

It just put bathing suit. Now, this is. Was this a figment of your imagination?

[A]

I mean, there is one with the girl who's making a bit of a.

[B]

Oh, maybe it's that one.

[C]

94.

[B]

I am also now learning that Special K has been around for quite some time here.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it looks like. Remember which one was the one that was made so people would stop dragging off?

[C]

That certainly makes me that. That's kind of like it, though. See, here we go. Woman in a white bathing suit with a child. What?

[A]

Too many, like, scantily clad women in an episode.

[B]

How many commercials did they have?

[A]

Which one was Special K? The one that was me.

[B]

This one?

[D]

Yeah, I think go to the end of that.

[B]

Yeah, just go to the end.

[C]

But see, she's in a white bathing suit. They did that for years.

[B]

Get the shape.

[C]

Okay. They did the K leg. I know they did the Kleg.

[B]

You guys might have another.

[A]

This is what happens to us. We say, like, yeah, we remember this, and then it never happened.

[B]

It's like a Mandela effect of Special K. Now we're figuring that out.

[A]

Which was Special K? The one that was made for people to, like, get people to stop jerking off? Or is that another series that was.

[D]

That was just corn flakes.

[C]

Cornflakes, yeah. Kellogg's cornflakes by Mr. Kellogg.

[A]

Not only am I happy that I asked, I'm happy that you knew, because it just validates what I said earlier.

[D]

Didn't work. Follow up question. I'm gonna go ahead and answer. Doesn't work. Didn't work. No.

[A]

You don't think so? So you're gonna tell me you've seen a box of cornflakes and been like, it's having the opposite effect? Or have you seen a box of cornflakes and be like, you know what? Yeah, actually, I'm kind of. I'm okay right now.

[D]

I don't. They're so bland that I feel like I need to compensate somehow, you know? Gotcha.

[C]

Spiciest experience. Up all the time.

[D]

Kellogg would have needed to make the most, you know, Engaging cereal ever a.

[C]

Cereal that distracts you?

[D]

Why be sexually satisfied when I can just eat this cereal?

[B]

Kellogg's actually said that the early version of Corn Flakes could help suppress sexual desires, prevent self pollution. Because it was so bland. So the whole point was to be bland?

[A]

Technically, it did exactly what it wanted to do.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So did it work?

[C]

I mean, not.

[B]

No, I don't think that was enough to stop that train.

[C]

Yeah, there was nothing that could stop me.

[A]

I mean, you could make an argument if you saved just one life. Have you not done your job?

[B]

There was nothing that could stop me. Nothing was stopping that.

[A]

Now here's my question. And I know, I know. I think we'll be able to get to the bottom of this. If you were to create a cereal and it would be a cereal to promote self sexual love, what would it be? Flavored and what would be in it?

[D]

Self sexual love.

[A]

Yeah, like a jerk off cereal.

[C]

Well, you know, there's a certain time in your life.

[D]

I don't like salty cereal.

[C]

Anything at all. Oh, God. There's a certain time in your life where anything and everything makes you horny. Like a Special K commercial that may or may not have ever happened. You know what I mean? And so I think that anything at all. Like we were talking about how the catalog that your parents would get that just had like a woman on the back in a bra was enough to pull the trigger sometimes, right?

[A]

Absolutely.

[C]

So it just needs to be something. Something. I'm trying to think of something. Something that suggests something from a female. The female anatomy.

[A]

Okay, so like a flower, A tulip. Boob loops.

[B]

Okay, like Fruit Loops. But then you put two of them.

[C]

Absolutely. That feels like you could probably.

[A]

Oh, we got something.

[D]

Oh, my goodness.

[B]

See?

[A]

1987. 1980.

[B]

This is a cereal commercial.

[C]

I was 10 years old.

[A]

Oh, that was. That's prime cereal. Eating and trying to figure out if you're into this.

[D]

Here we go.

[B]

This is an insane cereal commercial.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, Think about that.

[D]

And here it comes, y'.

[B]

All.

[D]

I knew this was not just getting into a pose. Oh, it's.

[C]

Oh, it's the. Whoa.

[D]

It was. You guys were wrong.

[A]

You were wrong.

[D]

Legend.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Unbelievable. So your arm, guys.

[B]

Apparently it was the Mandela effect. Maybe it was the leg at one point.

[D]

It might have been.

[C]

That's incredible.

[D]

In that one. It was the arm.

[A]

I mean, what's it.

[B]

Find another one.

[A]

Now, what's an arm if not a top?

[C]

Where's the nearest place where we can get some special?

[A]

Well, it depends on what type you're looking for. You are in Brooklyn.

[B]

Well, I think that's where we can kind of wrap up this episode right there with ketamine at the end. Thank you so much. Getting us demonetized right at the end there.

[D]

Flashlights. The cereal.

[B]

That's another good one.

[D]

To answer your question, mine, I don't.

[A]

Know what would be in the cereal, but on the front of the box would be the dragon from Shrek.

[C]

Yeah, that does it for you.

[D]

Very horny dragon.

[B]

You're an eyelashes guy.

[A]

Look at. Look at the dragon. Just look at the dragon.

[D]

Just look at the dragon.

[A]

I'm not saying pull it up and.

[B]

Yeah, please don't pull it up later. Sit next to him.

[C]

Hey, I just watched the commercial. Don't show me the dragon.

[B]

Look at the dragon. When you're alone at night with a candle on.

[C]

I got other stuff to do today.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can't spend all my time looking at the dragon. But thank you guys so much for coming and doing this episode with us. You know, where can they find you, these guys?

[A]

Yeah, just. Why don't you tell us?

[C]

Maybe just log on to YouTube.com they'll pop up and try to find some thumbnails with guys doing.

[B]

About a 30% shocked face.

[D]

Actually, we. We do want people to go see Wonderhole.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Which is our we. You know, season two is out. It's six episode. Yeah, that's right. Six episode season. It's on the YouTube.comrhettandlink channel.

[C]

The original channel, so.

[D]

Not the good mythical morning channel.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

The Rhett and Link channel. Yeah. So we got two seasons of that. And yeah, I really want more people to watch it. Cool. Well, just begging.

[B]

If you're. If you're. If you're watching this, it'll be in the description, so you guys can go find that easily. But again, thank you guys so much.

[D]

Always good to hang out with y'. All.

[B]

Always good. Always good and always fun. Frank, you got anything you want to add? That's all for this week's episode. Appreciate you guys so much. We'll see you next time.

[C]

And Doug Limu and I always tell.

[B]

You to customize your car insurance and.

[C]

Save hundreds with Liberty Mutual.

[B]

But now we want you to feel it.

[A]

Cue the emu music.

[C]

Limu. Save yourself money today.

[A]

Increase your wealth.

[C]

Customize and save.

[A]

We save.

[B]

That may have been too much feeling.

[A]

Only pay for what you [e-mail].

[C]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings.

[A]

Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.