#531 - Growing Up In The 90's

Summary

The Basement Yard Episode #531: "Growing Up In The 90s"

Date: December 1, 2025
Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez
Guest: Prisco
Theme: Nostalgia, humor and memories about growing up in the 90s—covering childhood toys, school days, iconic moments, and a behind-the-scenes look at their Madison Square Garden show experience.

---

Overview

In this episode of The Basement Yard, Joe and Frank, joined by frequent collaborator Prisco, dive deep into the formative experiences of growing up in the 1990s. From funny recreations about classic cigarette scenes in movies, to reminiscing about school (and its sometimes harsh teachers), the trio blends their characteristic humor with personal stories—including a heartfelt discussion about recently performing at Madison Square Garden. The episode balances comedy with genuine emotion, tapping into the deep relatability of shared generational experiences, especially those unique to the '90s.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The "Coolness" of Old-School Smoking & Movie Tropes (00:39–09:44)

• The hosts mock the aesthetic of people in movies who dramatically smoke cigarettes or pipes before dangerous situations.
  • Joe fantasizes about role-playing a movie-style standoff, imagining what it would be like to have a pre-demise smoke.
  • They go off on a tangent about classic pipes, corn cob pipes, and the old stereotype of sophisticated or villainous smokers.
  • Frank: “If I smoked cigarettes, which I haven't and I won't, I'd want one of those metal tins.” (01:32)
  • Joe: “No, or I would smoke it out of a pipe like an old bitch.” (01:58)
• The bit peaks in a mock crime scenario with Joe and Frank improvising dialogue as if one were about to murder the other.

2. School D.A.R.E. Programs, Anti-Smoking Ads, and Growing Up Afraid (09:44–12:29)

• They recall graphic anti-smoking campaigns, D.A.R.E. programs, and dramatic classroom demonstrations with straws to simulate emphysema.
• The hosts reminisce about classmates with medical devices related to smoking or genetic disorders.
• Frank: Describes Sorority philanthropy related to cystic fibrosis and the "breathe through a straw" empathy exercise.

3. Madison Square Garden Show: Jitters, Reflection & Exhaustion (12:36–30:48)

• The trio opens up about their recent live show at Madison Square Garden.
  • Frank: “Thank you for everyone that came and, and has watched and shared and posted and blah, blah, blah. Reality is, we were able to do that because of every single person.” (13:35)
  • They recount the nerves, adrenaline, and awe at the sheer scale of the venue. Both talk about moments of anxiety and even near-tears before and after the event.
  • Joe reveals he almost vomited from anxiety before going on stage (15:36).
  • The experience at the after-party—feeling like a wedding reception, having to greet everyone, and being too drained to party hard.
  • The hosts reflect on the emotional aftermath: feeling numb, then unexpectedly moved to tears by fan-made social posts the next day.
  • Joe: “After the show was over, like, I... just sat on the couch and I just like, couldn't talk. And it was just me and Ahmed at one point... I was just sitting there and it was such a weird feeling.” (29:07)

4. 90s Childhood Memories: Fast Food, Books, and Toys (34:38–69:09)

• Frank describes rewarding himself post-tour with an epic fast food binge that included Burger King and Taco Bell (24:04).
  • “Of fast food burger joints, number one is Burger King. Of Taco Bell's, Taco Bell's number one.” (26:09)
• Goosebumps, Captain Underpants, and Scholastic Fairs:
  • Nostalgic talk about feeling the ribbed covers, smelling “book diarrhea,” and trading at book fairs (51:53–55:56).
  • Joe: “Do you think that Goosebumps would be successful if their books weren't ribbed for her pleasure?” (55:28)
• School Supply Throwbacks:
  • Nostalgic enthusiasm for book socks, reading logs (often forged), and memories of their mothers’ perfect penmanship.
  • “You want people to have better handwriting, hit them with a yard.” (60:26)

5. School Days—Teachers, Lunchrooms, and Chalk Dust (69:09–82:44)

• Hilarious accounts of the intimidating cafeteria staff, mean but memorable teachers, and the near-prison conditions of old school buildings, complete with cages and iron handrails.
  • “She dead ass was like the mitochondria of that school—the powerhouse of the cell, baby.” (72:17)
• Cleaning chalk erasers in a “hotbox” of dust—a special, generationally unrepeatable experience.
  • “We were six years old, hot boxing school, miners school, chalk!” (77:02)
• Discussion veers into whether or not chalkboards are bad for you (“They were just basically waterboarding us with chalk fumes”—82:11) and comparing the grittiness of chalk versus the sterility of whiteboards.

6. 90s Toys Showdown: How Many Does Gen Z Recognize? (65:20–69:09)

• The hosts quiz Prisco (born 1997) on iconic toys: Kid Pix, Moon Shoes, Skip-it, Sock'em Boppers, Hit Clips, Furby, and more.
  • Amusing confusion between Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots and Sock ‘Em Boppers leads to, “The difference between sock em boppers and Rock Em Sock Ems...” (66:27)
• Delight in reliving commercials and jingles for now-defunct toy brands. Wild reactions to product names (“Kid Pix is crazy, dude.”—45:49)

7. Generational Gaps & Absurd Nostalgia (Throughout)

• Understanding differences in school, childhood, and toy culture between the late 90s, 2000s, and today.
• Poking fun at each other's reference points, gaps in knowledge, and collective memory (“Am I crazy for thinking that's a horrible example?”—36:29).
• Bittersweet reflection on the impact of teachers, both formative and traumatic, and how schooling shaped everything from handwriting to life lessons.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Frank: “If I smoked cigarettes, which I haven't and I won't, I'd want one of those metal tins.” (01:32)
• Joe: “Nothing better than smoking... when you know you're about to be shot in the head—pull out a cigarette and talk some shit.” (04:41)
• Frank: “Of fast food burger joints, number one is Burger King. Of Taco Bell's, Taco Bell's number one.” (26:09)
• Joe (on MSG): “After the show was over... I just sat on the couch and I just like, couldn't talk... it's never like this after a show. Usually it's like, alright, cool, that was nice... we were just all dead silent.” (29:07)
• Discussion on Goosebumps books:
  Frank: “Do you think that Goosebumps would be successful if their books weren't ribbed for her pleasure?” (55:28)
• On forging reading logs:
  Frank: “You know what my approach was for the reading logs? I would have my grandmother who...” Joe: “As long as you forge from the beginning, you can't go wrong.” (59:50–60:06)
• On old school smells:
  Joe: “I feel like back in the day, I would walk into a library and I'd be like, yo, it smells like diarrhea. But, like, good, good.” (56:01)
• On stern teachers:
  Frank: “Whatever happened to women of a certain era that could scream with bass?” (71:03)
• On cleaning erasers:
  Joe: “There was a machine. It was louder than the German teachers... you would clean it in there. The entire room is covered in chalk.” (77:44)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:39 – Start of main episode and Sherpa season banter
• 01:41 – Discussion of classic smoking aesthetics and metal tins
• 04:43 – Role-playing a movie standoff and “coolness” of on-screen smoking
• 09:44 – Graphic cigarette warnings, anti-smoking campaigns, and D.A.R.E. memories
• 12:36 – MSG recap: nerves, build-up, and the emotional aftermath
• 15:36 – Joe confides about almost throwing up before showtime
• 24:04 – Frank’s post-tour fast food feast; Burger King vs. Taco Bell
• 34:38 – Personal, emotional impact of performing at iconic venues
• 51:53 – Goosebumps books, Scholastic Book Fairs, and classic school supplies
• 60:00 – Penmanship, reading logs, and old-school discipline
• 69:09 – School cafeteria memories, lunchroom chaos, and “asylum” conditions
• 77:02 – Cleaning erasers as “hotboxing school chalk”; unique school rituals
• 82:44 – Debate over dusty chalkboards vs. whiteboards, the “grit” of school days
• 84:11 – Joking about appealing to boomer demographics (“teachers should beat kids!”)
• 85:03 – Show wrap-up and social media plugs

---

Tone and Character

• Humorous, irreverent, and occasionally dark: The episode is filled with playful banter, mock arguments, and exaggerated storytelling.
• Nostalgic and reflective: Humor is balanced with genuine appreciation and emotion, especially regarding their Madison Square Garden milestone.
• Relatable and self-deprecating: The hosts poke fun at themselves, each other, and their shared generation, making it welcoming for any listener with 90s roots.
• Conversational and loosely structured: Tangents abound, mimicking the organic way friends would actually reminisce about their past.

---

For New Listeners

This episode is a quintessential Basement Yard experience—equal parts ridiculous, nostalgic, and surprisingly heartfelt. It’ll resonate whether you grew up in the 90s or just love hearing grown men crack each other up about pop culture, school traditions, and growing into adulthood. There are bits of genuine insight, especially when the hosts discuss the scale and emotional weight of performing at Madison Square Garden, but the real draw is in the barrage of punchlines and sharp observations about the quirks of their shared childhoods.

Skip the ads; dive into a masterclass on 90s sentimental chaos!

Transcript

[Joe Santagato]

When it comes to gifting, everyone on your list deserves something special.

[Frank Alvarez]

Luckily, Marshall's buyers travel far and wide.

[Joe Santagato]

Hustling for great deals and amazing gifts.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you don't have to. That means your mom gets that cashmere sweater, your best friend that Italian leather bag. Your co workers unwrap their favorite beauty.

[Joe Santagato]

Brands, and your nephews the coolest new toys.

[Frank Alvarez]

Go ahead. A price is this good, you can grab something for yourself too.

[Joe Santagato]

Marshalls, we get the deals. You gift the good stuff.

[Frank Alvarez]

Shop [e-mail] or find a store near you. Welcome back to the basement.

[Joe Santagato]

Welcome back to the basement yard.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, we're in. We're in. We're in. Shaggy coat season, aren't we? Wearing throw over fleeces, aren't we? It's a Sherpa. It's a Sherpa. It's Sherpa season. It's Sherpa time.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is that like, full? Like. Oh, I thought it was a quarter zip. I thought you were really giving into being white. She's got a full. She's got a full. And she's got a full diaper.

[Joe Santagato]

She's got a secret hole.

[Frank Alvarez]

Secret. Pretty common for, you know, sweatshirts and stuff like that.

[Joe Santagato]

I love when you can pull stuff out of a secret pocket. You're like, here you go.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll be honest with you. I love wearing, like, suits and like, sports coats as they were stupidly called for some reason. No, no, no sports involved blazers because I love the feeling of pulling something out of a jacket pocket.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it just felt cool. It's just always just like, here you go.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I cigarette. I never. Sure if I smoked cigarettes.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, my God, it'd be so much cooler now.

[Frank Alvarez]

If I smoked cigarettes.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, my God, I'd be so cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. Yeah. If I smoke cigarettes, which I haven't and I won't.

[Joe Santagato]

Me neither.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would want one of those metal books, the metal tins.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, that, like, old school white used to have.

[Joe Santagato]

I would roll my own and be like, yeah, I roll my own. No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, you would, you would. And you'd be like, I got like a. Like, it's like a. It's a special tobacco that I got from a fucking underground bodega in Brooklyn.

[Joe Santagato]

No, no. Or I would smoke it out of a pipe like an old bitch.

[Frank Alvarez]

I knew someone that smoked tobacco out of a pipe fairly frequently. It requires a lot of cleaning. You'd be surprised. Like, you need to clean like, the corn.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm out. I don't want to have too much of that too much?

[Frank Alvarez]

Too much.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, I'm smoking tobacco. I need to clean it. I know it's in there.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what a long pipe that you can hold? Like.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, like I'm Albert Einstein.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just like. But it needs to be corn cob pipe.

[Joe Santagato]

What does that mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

They make corn cob pipes?

[Joe Santagato]

Same question.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a type of pipe.

[Joe Santagato]

Should I say.

[Frank Alvarez]

Again, you're asking for information that I don't have. You've already had.

[Joe Santagato]

You had.

[Frank Alvarez]

I said corn cob pipe.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

What does it look like? Corn cob pipe.

[Prisco]

It does kind of look like a corn cob.

[Frank Alvarez]

It does. It's not actually you can make a pipe out of corn cob, but it's.

[Joe Santagato]

You could turn anything into a pipe. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You remember people that were smoking? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are cool.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I want the fucking long circular fucking.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you want like a. Like a long pipe that like. Like, racist British men would smoke and then just be like, you're not getting into my college.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. You know what?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't mind the.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay, that long one.

[Frank Alvarez]

The long, crazy long one is a bit much.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that's a. That one's fine.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, we don't know. We don't have context for how long that is. It also said wizard pipe, which I will say if I could smoke and just have it and then just support the bottom of it.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, see, now we're getting into my.

[Frank Alvarez]

Kind of shit when we're getting into colors.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Get out. When it's like, you know, like, purple and pink. It needs to be wood, and it needs to be wood.

[Joe Santagato]

See, I would. I would. I would smoke that pipe.

[Prisco]

He was crazy. He was gonna say.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, what was I gonna say? Suck that pipe.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's gonna be something. You'd suck that pipe until there was nothing left.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Also think just lighting a pipe. You know what. You know what it is? Like cigarettes.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's cool.

[Joe Santagato]

That, like, when you're. When someone's. You know what I love when someone's about to be murdered and they're like, just. They're just going to smoke as a.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, but not scared. Like now chill.

[Joe Santagato]

They're like, all right, I'm getting shot. Kind of like, all right, you. You know what I mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

That from what's. I mean, I remember in the Mask, which we've already discussed, is a cinematic piece of history, when Reggie Kathy's character, like, when he's about to go, was it Reggie Kathy? I think it was, but. And his boy, he got shot, and they think that Mass did it. And he's like, here, here, here, let me light a cigarette. And he likes it and just falls out his mouth.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I don't smoke, and I. I really think it's bad for you. It is. But right before you're about to die in, like, a super dramatic way.

[Joe Santagato]

Nothing better than smoking.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's kind of sick.

[Joe Santagato]

That's the time to do it. When you know you're about to be shot in the head. Pull out a cigarette and talk some shit. Like, just be like, you know, your mother was a. Like, you know, like, that's what. That's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Christ.

[Joe Santagato]

So.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right.

[Joe Santagato]

So about to shoot me.

[Frank Alvarez]

So can we make. Can we make an agreement?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

If I have to murder you, I'm.

[Joe Santagato]

Gonna talk so crazily to you. Really? With a cigarette in my mouth?

[Frank Alvarez]

I wasn't gonna say. I'm saying, like, I'll bring the cigarettes and the murder and the murder weapon, and you just smoke. Maybe bring the mask.

[Joe Santagato]

They have to be my cigarettes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you need to pull them out.

[Joe Santagato]

Or you have them on the table like they're yours, and I just take them from you because, like, that's how ballsy that is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pretty. And it's just like, I know what's happening right here. And you grab the cigarettes and you. You do that thing that they do.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Where they hit it. And then you take. Are you taking one out or are you taking, like, several?

[Joe Santagato]

Just one. Really? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

And then I'm tossing the thing back and just being like.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then how are you gonna. Be honest. How are you gonna do it? Are you smoking it like this? Are you smoking it like this? Are you smoking it like. I don't know how many ways you could smoke something. Are you smoking it like this?

[Joe Santagato]

No. No. I think I would just smoke it regular. And then the last one before I'm about to talk shit, like, I'll smoke it regular like this. In the last one. I'll kind of just do this.

[Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, so you're gonna be a wise guy about it. Yeah. You're a smart piece of shit about it. Well, then I'm not even gonna give you the satisfaction. You'll be dead before you lit the thing.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I mean, you should. You should, because I. I will say stuff that will hurt your feelings.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you're trying to. All right, hold on. So let's. Let's. Let's role play this a little bit. Okay. Acting yard.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, we've already gotten through what would happen in the entire situation.

[Frank Alvarez]

I am going. I'm Here to kill you. My name is. Give me. Give me a scenario.

[Prisco]

Frank.

[Frank Alvarez]

My name is Frank. Get the D20 out. We're gonna roll this thing. All right. And you. I'm gonna get you because you found out you were on the Epstein list or something crazy. Wait, what? What?

[Joe Santagato]

You found out that I was on the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, so I'm gonna kill you for it.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

And who are you?

[Frank Alvarez]

Frank. Yeah. All right, now.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cigarettes right here. You ready?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Can they be closer so I don't have to get up?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, you can pretend we're closer. Okay. Okay. And action.

[Joe Santagato]

What year is it?

[Frank Alvarez]

This kid pulled out a revolver.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. He's sharpening a bow, and he is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I have a revolver, dude. Come on. That's the coolest gun to use in handguns, man.

[Joe Santagato]

I would like to. Have you ever shot a revolver?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Santagato]

It's scary.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it kicks your butt, bro. Really?

[Joe Santagato]

Handguns are way scarier than.

[Frank Alvarez]

The other.

[Joe Santagato]

Ones are scary, but they're harder to shoot is what I meant.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, so it's scarier in, like, if.

[Joe Santagato]

You'Re going to shoot one, like, at a range.

[Frank Alvarez]

At a range. At a range. Let's make that very clear. Yeah, but I have a gun.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Yeah, you do. So well, you got to make me believe that you're actually going to kill me. You're not going to say anything.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm going to kill you. Is that what you want? You want me to spell it out for you? That's what Joey would do. Joey would do that. He'd be like, it is not super apparent right now that you're actually going to be murdering me. First of all, that sounds like you, bro. I need to know where you sit right. Right now. Like, tell me about how you're feeling in this moment right here. That's you. So, like, I'm going to kill you. And you're like.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay. When you say you, like, like, it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really depends on your definition of you kill is subjective. Yeah. Honestly, we kill on. Logically, I don't think you can kill.

[Joe Santagato]

Because I've already killed myself emotionally.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because, like, I am just kill himself. Yeah. I am internally dead. So, like, what you are killing is really. It's just a shell.

[Joe Santagato]

It's just a shell. You're right. You're right.

[Frank Alvarez]

So just. Just pantomime how you're grabbing the cigarettes. What kind of cigarettes, too. Because that's a big part of it.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know. The harder the better.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. Like, American natural. Is that one of them?

[Joe Santagato]

It's American spirit.

[Frank Alvarez]

American spirit. Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

American Naturals. American Big Naturals, I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are Those the size 36Ds you got in there?

[Joe Santagato]

You got any Big Naturals for me? That's how. That's how much we don't smoke.

[Frank Alvarez]

Walking to a deli.

[Joe Santagato]

Can I get a pack of the Big Naturals?

[Frank Alvarez]

Big naturals, size 22F.

[Joe Santagato]

You got any Triple D Big Naturals?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

How you doing, buddy? Can I get a Gatorade? Bacon, egg and cheese? Let me get a pack of the Big Naturals.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fat Naturals right next to. Right next to the condoms. The fat Naturals you got right there.

[Joe Santagato]

No, no, no, no, no, no. The big. Yeah, yeah. No, red pack.

[Frank Alvarez]

Red pack.

[Joe Santagato]

The big oily Naturals. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, the big oily one.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sweet. How much?

[Joe Santagato]

Forget it. Forget it, dude. How about, like, in Europe, when you go buy cigarettes, there's, like, dead people on them.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, they're not very subtle with their messaging.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, that's good.

[Frank Alvarez]

I agree.

[Joe Santagato]

Because, yo, if you're gonna get the packaging and you're gonna look at someone being like, dude, I'm literally dead. Yeah. And then you're like, yeah, I know. And you're gonna.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I've never. I've never seen them firsthand, but I have seen people post pictures where it's like. It'll be like, I bought these cigarettes. Let's make sure we all call them the same thing over there in London.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Guys.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, guys, this is in 2025.

[Frank Alvarez]

What are you doing in 2025? That's what you're using? Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

I feel like we're just trying to get away.

[Frank Alvarez]

Nice try. Okay. We see what you're trying to do.

[Joe Santagato]

Very nice.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but. And it's like a picture of, like. Like. But we had that, too. Remember all those Truth commercials? And it was like, the guy that had the.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, fuck.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's it called?

[Joe Santagato]

The Speaker.

[Frank Alvarez]

You. No, no, but there's, like, the. You know what I'm talking about. It's got, like, a hole esophagus.

[Joe Santagato]

Like Ezema.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, that's a disease.

[Joe Santagato]

I think that's disease you get.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but it's like a good tracheotomy. Tracheotomy. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. And he would, like, like. Those are fucking terrifying commercials.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, man.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, and so it was like.

[Joe Santagato]

Talking with, like, a. Look like a taser kind of. How did those work?

[Frank Alvarez]

I imagine they go off a vibration because, like, you can't. You remember we played basketball with someone.

[Joe Santagato]

That had that bro kid in my Middle school had that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude. We played basket. There was a kid that would, like, not frequently. Kid is, you know, kind of rough. Like, he was probably in his mid-20s when we were, like, 18, but, like, he had. He came to, like, 48th and played basketball with it a couple times.

[Joe Santagato]

Wait, so maybe I'm thinking of that kid. Was that. Was that a Hispanic kid?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, Hispanic.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, so I thought that was middle school, but yeah, I remember that.

[Frank Alvarez]

He must.

[Prisco]

He must have hit you with the sickest N1, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

He was kind of nice.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I mean, I can't do it.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, we're not gonna make it.

[Prisco]

No, we can't do that.

[Joe Santagato]

But he was. He legitimately was, like, a decent basketball player. Yeah, but he barely, like, he couldn't, like, really, like, talk. Yeah, obviously. But I don't think that it was not one of those things that you kind of like.

[Frank Alvarez]

He didn't talk, but he definitely had, like.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I think that was probably just, like, a thing from birth or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know where it came from, but he definitely had it.

[Joe Santagato]

He definitely had enough cigarettes to.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, it could happen at any point. I had also be. Secondhand smoke. You never know what would happen in his household.

[Joe Santagato]

Do you remember in. In. In school where they would do, like, the day or program, whatever, and I remember them talking to us about emphysema, and they, like, gave us a straw.

[Frank Alvarez]

Straw.

[Joe Santagato]

Try to breathe. Like, that's what it's. I always think about that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cystic fibrosis apparently feels the same way, too.

[Joe Santagato]

What is that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. But I remember there was a sorority on our campus that, like, their. Like, everyone had, like, a.

[Joe Santagato]

You needed to have philanthropy.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, stop. It was, like, one philanthropy that they, like, were, like, the most dedicated to and did a lot of time with.

[Joe Santagato]

Got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ours was St. Jude. Theirs was the. I don't remember. I think it was just called the Cystic Fibrosis foundation, but same thing. It's like they're like, breathe through the straw, and that's what they feel like breathing all the time.

[Joe Santagato]

Terrible. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's crazy. Well, MSG was fun. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

There's no real good way to pivot out of that.

[Frank Alvarez]

How do we pivot from cystic fibrosis to Madison Square Garden?

[Joe Santagato]

It's gonna be tough. Dig out of the hole. Yeah, I guess. We're.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're.

[Joe Santagato]

How long are we a week out?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, we can change by the time they see this.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, yeah, but we're exactly a week.

[Prisco]

This is exactly a week.

[Frank Alvarez]

Exactly a week. Ago today we were. Does it feel like. Check.

[Joe Santagato]

Does it feel closer or further? Oh, like it happened longer?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, it feels pretty recent.

[Joe Santagato]

Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

For me. Yeah. What about you?

[Joe Santagato]

It feels a little like. It felt like a while. I think that day was just so long that I'm like, that day was very long. Yeah. We had got to mishear, like noon.

[Frank Alvarez]

And some of us sooner than others because they forgot what time noon was. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Met thought noon meant 11. I'm not even going to try and figure out how you get there. He's 31 anyway. Yeah, but that was such a crazy thing, man. We did Madison Square Garden.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was wild. First of all, thank you for everyone that came and, and and has watched and shared and posted and blah, blah, blah. Because the reality is we were able to do that because of every single person.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But it was also like, I. I'm going to be honest with you, I cannot. I'm so excited to never hear. How do you feel about msg, the.

[Joe Santagato]

After party ever again. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because, like, it was such a difficult thing to comprehend and like, in the moment. Because, like, as you were saying, I think in the episode before, like, that had come out on Patreon, like, it was. You're excited for the structure of the day and being busy because it's just going to make the time pass a little bit better. There was so much going on and so much that, like, we had to do both, like actively doing stuff and just kind of waiting around as things were happening that it was hard for the time to not move quickly. Like, I was like, oh, I got here at noon. And then I was like, oh, fuck, it's seven o' clock already.

[Joe Santagato]

I just like, I don't know. That was, that was a wild day. Because I remember like, during soundtrack when you. When we first walked out there, they didn't have the seats on the floor set up yet. And you're just kind of looking around at all the other seats and you're like, holy shit, there's going to be so many people here. And they haven't even set up the chairs yet. So once they set up the chairs, then I was like, dude, did we actually sell this out? Like, I was like, what the. Because it goes up so high. I've been there so many times for Rangers games.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I'm like, bro, this is a lot of people.

[Joe Santagato]

But you're right.

[Frank Alvarez]

When we first went there, we were standing in under like what is technically the court or the rink, depending on what sport. You know, you. You are more familiar in Madison Square Garden with. But. And, like, you just see the seats around. But then when they put down the seats and I stood on stage and I saw those seats, I was like, dude, like, that. That is a lot of people just there on the floor. And then when you just do this, you're just like, holy. It was a lot, and it was electric.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, man. Did. I didn't even tell you this. I told Greg, and he's like, I'm so glad you didn't tell me that. But when Ahmed was on stage, I thought I was gonna throw up. Like, not even from nerves, but, like, for me, I like the anxiety that you feel right before you go on on stage is not, like, nerves. It's more of just like, I'm anxious to go. And we had been there all day, and I was just ready to, like, start the show.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Because I didn't want to just sit there and just keep, like, you know, whatever. So I just wanted to go. And then a med was on stage. I know he's, like, halfway through his set, and I was like, why? Like, my throat feels like it's closing right now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh.

[Joe Santagato]

So I, like, went back to the green room, and I just, like, drank some water, and then I was just like, all right. Like, I'm like, I'm good. And then we were just, like, walking out.

[Frank Alvarez]

See, I was very much so anticipating it. And, like, you know, like, there are very few shows beforehand that I like, you know, I kind of, like, get. Like. I sit down or I like, you know, like, get into, like, a. Like a squatting position almost. For that one, I felt like I needed to get my legs under me.

[Prisco]

And.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then the moment we walked to the steps, it was just like, you got it. Like, it just, like, a switch for me just went on. And then it felt like just the rest of the show. Like, it was obviously because, as you had said in anticipation of it, if I had sit there and really, really tried my best to digest the weight and the massive scale of the situation, it was gonna fuck me up, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

And also, I saw, like, the pictures from, like, all the way back when you could see everything. I was like, bro, if I saw this picture before we went out, probably shit my pants, dude. Those seem so much bigger from back there.

[Frank Alvarez]

I fucking. It. It doesn't make. Like, I've seen videos and the pictures that, you know, Jimmy and Zach did, and forgive me for forgetting Zach's cousin's name, Farrah. I see those, and I'm just like, what? Who. Who's that? Like, who. What is going on here? Like, there was a sense of just, like, when you see it at that scale, it completely fucked me up. And then the video that Mikey put together at the end, I was just like, holy shit.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it was a lot of frames, dude. That was a lot of slow motion.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was slow motion. And that fucking. I'm gonna tell you something right now. If anyone here that is watching this, and I hope you all get this opportunity, if you want it, to perform on a scale that size. Get confetti.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, you gotta get confetti.

[Frank Alvarez]

Gotta get confetti. That confetti was a paid actor, let me tell you, because it went off perfectly and it fell perfectly.

[Joe Santagato]

And I. The guy before was like, you guys got a lot of confetti? And I was like, really?

[Prisco]

He said, we got four times the normal amount of confetti.

[Joe Santagato]

Did he say that? I mean, I didn't. I didn't. It was two grand, I'll say that. $2,000 to have confetti. We didn't pick how much confetti. Like, do you want confetti? And I was like, how much is it? And I took it. And I was like, yeah.

[Prisco]

Oh, I thought Greg put in some kind of, like, request.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I was like, confetti or no confetti? I was like, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I wouldn't be surprised if on the back end, Greg was just like, I. For, like, what's their normal amount? And I said, double it. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if he did that. There was a point when that confetti was falling that I looked out. I was like, oh, I can't, like, couldn't see anything. Not that I could really see, because those lights were intense.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like, I really couldn't see, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

Also, when I, like, was introing you to do poetry, and it. It was a blackout. It was a blackout. I didn't move because I was like, I can't. I. I will fall. Like, I literally, like, was. Usually I just start walking towards you and we pass each other, but I was like, I'm gonna wait until the light comes on because I legitimately am gonna kick over one of these lights up here. Like, I was like, oh, shit, I can't see anything.

[Frank Alvarez]

When I told.

[Joe Santagato]

Excuse me.

[Frank Alvarez]

When Francisco said, like, put your lights up, I was standing backstage and I looked out, and I saw all the lights in the dome. And I was just like, holy shit. Like, that place, for, like, a split second was, like, lit up. Yeah, it was nuts, man. And then, I don't know if you felt this way, we had an after party. Thank you, Red Bull. That was a lot of fun. We really appreciate it. But I was so spent from the whole day that I was like dragging. I got there and I immediately down like a tequila soda. And I was like, I need to wake up.

[Joe Santagato]

I didn't drink anything when I was there. I got there and I was like. Because I was thinking about how fun that would be. And Rebel was like, super helpful with like, helping like pick out a place. And they got a photo booth and all this. So, like, they're awesome. But when. When I was walking in to the party for the first time and I saw everyone turn around and look at me, I was like, oh, God, this is just gonna have to be like. Like a wedding. Like, you gotta say hi to all the guests.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that's exactly what it was.

[Joe Santagato]

Like. It took me an hour to get to my mom. Dude, Dude, I was trying to get my mom.

[Frank Alvarez]

I literally, when we walked in, cuz, like, the way the place was, it was like a little ramp.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then like, there's people on the sides of it, the bars right here. And then there's people basically all around the inside and the outside. So, like, I did have to do that where I had to like stop and say hi to everyone.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, but bro, you know me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh youh went right to the back. Well, I want to stay pretty late. Like you say most people were gone.

[Joe Santagato]

I stayed until 1:30.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, the people that were left because I left maybe like 25 minutes after you. The people that were still there, it was just like, we need to let these people have their night. They're clearly trying to have a night. Like, yeah, I looked over, There were certain people that were just like, get after it. And I was like, good for you, man. I told you both this, but it's a funny story to share for people, but when I walked in, I recognized, I would say, like 70% of the people. But there was also some people that I didn't recognize. But I could see them, like, talking to, like, you know, the picky boys or I could see them talking to your mom or like. So I knew that they were people that were like, in the realm of like, oh, they were invited in some capacity. I might not know them, but I know that they should be here.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

There were certain people that I saw and I was like, there's no reason these people should be here.

[Joe Santagato]

There. There was some people that like, worked at like, WME or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not even that. I'm just Saying people that, like, clearly, like, saw that there was a party, a party, and, like, just got in line with our friends and family and just made it in.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, well, you know, it happens.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I mean, whatever. There was some dude that came up to me, and he was just like, dude, dat me up. He's like, dude, I swear to God, you look like you do a podcast. You do a podcast now we're at our after party. So I was like, yeah, all right. Yeah, I do, man. He's like, cool, cool. What's your guys's name again? And I was like, oh, you're serious. You know, like, I thought he was fucking around.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And he was like, yeah, do. What do you guys. I've seen your face all over in that moment.

[Joe Santagato]

He's probably like, does this guy think he's the most famous guy in the world?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I don't know. You're probably. No. The kid was, like, afraid of his own shadow. But, like, I was like, yeah, you're serious? He's like, yeah. I was like, yo, you're at our after party. Like, we just. We just did a show at Madison Square Garden. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. So apologetic. He's like, I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. He like. You know how, like, Roger Rabbit, when he says something dumb, he's like, no, no, no. And he's, like, smacking himself in the head with shit. I do not know that. Never seen who Framed Roger Rabbit. That was 20 years ago that I saw that. You should watch it. It's incredible. Yeah, but he was, like, doing that. I was like, it's all right. You know, I just.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who are you here with? You know, and. Right.

[Joe Santagato]

Most likely had a good time, though. Like, after the first round of hellos, then I was like, all right. Like, now I can kind of, like, just chill and have a conversation. But, you know, it was.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was just.

[Joe Santagato]

It was a good thing. I mean, I'm glad that we had that, because I wanted to see everyone afterwards because we had a. Before the show, we had, like, our friends and family in this room where they do the press conferences, which is pretty cool. But then, yeah, I just wanted to see everyone after. I thought it was cool, but I was definitely, like, exhausted, and I think, like, I slept, like, 11 hours. Two days later, I think that's when I caught back up. And then also, Mikey got sick. Greg got sick. Like, I think it was, like, the stress of that day, and I just. Being like, oh, we're done. And then your immune system's like, me too. And then you just get sick.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Because it kind of. I felt like I didn't feel sick, but I definitely felt so drained, like, physically drained, that I was just like, oh, man. Like, I don't think I realized how long. Like, in the uber home, that was like the first time I feel like I breathed all day. Like, I took a real breath.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Yeah, that's definitely how I felt. Like I felt like a sense of relief. Like.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

The next morning I only slept, like five hours. I woke up and I woke. But I woke up, like, refreshed immediately.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And yeah, I was tired, but I felt good. I also. I did. Oh, I did have Burger King and Taco Bell the next day. Because I was just like, tours done.

[Joe Santagato]

In the same meal.

[Frank Alvarez]

Come on, brother.

[Joe Santagato]

Me come on? Yeah, Me come on? Yeah, you come on.

[Frank Alvarez]

I came on.

[Joe Santagato]

Is it the same?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Santagato]

So what was breakfast?

[Frank Alvarez]

Bagel.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, so you had a bagel and.

[Frank Alvarez]

Then for lunch and egg and cheese.

[Joe Santagato]

You had a bacon, egg and cheese for breakfast?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, I did.

[Joe Santagato]

Lunch was a Whopper. And what else?

[Frank Alvarez]

Whopper Chicken fries. Frank onion rings.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay, now we're gonna. Was there a soda?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, of course it was.

[Joe Santagato]

You're leaving stuff out here.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fountain. Coca Cola, baby.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay, so we had a Whopper. We had onion rings. We had. We had a. Yeah. What kind of.

[Frank Alvarez]

So it was a 5,000 calorie day meal. Like, day meal. It was a 5,000 calorie day.

[Joe Santagato]

And then. And then dinner. You're like, might as well run it up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

And then.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then.

[Joe Santagato]

What was that?

[Frank Alvarez]

That was Taco Bell.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, yeah. I'm saying, was it something supreme?

[Frank Alvarez]

It was so. No, it was. You're going to fucking.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm going to like it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, you are. Two cheesy gordita crunches. No Baja sauce.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay. What the fuck is Baja?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like their spicy ranch.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I thought that was like some Mountain Dew.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I don't like it.

[Prisco]

Baja Blast.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's Baja Blast. Close enough. And then a Crunchwrap supreme meal with a starry, which is Sierra Mist, and it comes with a taco Supreme.

[Joe Santagato]

What is a Taco Supreme?

[Frank Alvarez]

Just a taco. Just like a hard shell taco.

[Joe Santagato]

So you had like four tacos?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Yes, I did. Listen, man, I felt, you know, like after all of that and like, just did msg, I was just like, I'm just gonna fucking indulge. And how did I indulge?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

On some fast food. Listen, I've said it before. I'll Say it again. Of fast food burger joints, number one is Burger King of Taco Bell's. Taco Bell's number one.

[Joe Santagato]

Gotta.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's it.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I ride hard for what I like.

[Joe Santagato]

On the Taco Bell. Like, Taco Bell's at the top. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I ride for my mother. Effin people.

[Joe Santagato]

Careful. But, yeah, that's a. That's a big day. It's so funny.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's just like there was such a sense of, like, holy, like, Because I do remember last year, someone coming up to us at Radio the Scent doing Radio City is crazy.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is still insane. And then there was a representative at Radio City that came up to us and said, like, next year, the Garden. Right. And like, our mentality, at least I think I could speak on your behalf, was just like. Okay. You know, just like, mine definitely was where I was just like, all right. And then now having, like, looked back on that, and then just like the two years of touring in its entirety, I was just like. Like, I felt like I could breathe, you know, like, because it's, you know, it has its difficulties and it has its stuff like that. And then, like, all the planning that goes into it and, you know, like, I spoke with Francisco, the three time Slam Poetry of the Year winner, and he shared with me, like, those poems are stressful to him for him to write.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So, like, gone through all of that, and then on the back end, just coming out of it, it's just like.

[Joe Santagato]

So you felt like there was a weight lifted off of your chest?

[Frank Alvarez]

Without a doubt.

[Joe Santagato]

And then you put.

[Frank Alvarez]

I put a five tacos on top.

[Joe Santagato]

He's like, you know, I feel like this weight lifted off my chest. And then I. And then I put an IV of Baja sauce in me. Hell, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, no Baja sauce. You know the law. No Baja sauce. I absolutely did. You know, listen, man, I am just trying. Did you cry? Did I cry afterward?

[Joe Santagato]

Like, maybe not that night, but, like, another night before it?

[Frank Alvarez]

I did.

[Joe Santagato]

Before msg.

[Frank Alvarez]

Before msg. I had some emotional moments with Becca. You know, actually that's not true. Becca wrote a very sweet post for me that, you know, just kind of like, looking back on tour and what it is.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, you said poster. I was like, what?

[Frank Alvarez]

She wrote me a poster? No, that.

[Joe Santagato]

That.

[Frank Alvarez]

That definitely made me cry. Just, you know, kind of looking.

[Joe Santagato]

That was after. No, that's after.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what I'm saying.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, that.

[Joe Santagato]

That guy. But before you.

[Frank Alvarez]

You said before I had some moments.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I had all tour to be you know, really honest. Like, there were some moments, you know, because of the weight of it all and the. Just like the enormity of it all and, you know, the. The Taco Bell of it all, you know, it was just so much.

[Joe Santagato]

There was just so much like, did you cry? Baja moments. Yeah, you were.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can I share?

[Prisco]

Good.

[Frank Alvarez]

How you were after the show?

[Joe Santagato]

One word.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I mean, emotional is the word.

[Joe Santagato]

Silent.

[Frank Alvarez]

That. That's the word too.

[Prisco]

I walked into the room after and I went, oh, yeah, it is so quiet.

[Frank Alvarez]

You got. You got emotional for a second.

[Prisco]

For a second.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because, like, for a second. For a second. Relax for a second.

[Prisco]

No, because it's like, I understand you guys getting super emotional, but I walk into the room and it was so quiet. I went, oh. And I just sat in between you guys and we're just. Which is funny because living in it.

[Joe Santagato]

After. After the show was over, like, I. We went back to the green room and I just sat on the couch and I just like, couldn't talk. And it was just me and Ahmed at one point. And Ahmed was like. I think he was crying because he had his hands like this. And I can kind of hear, like, him breathing a little heavy. And I was like, he was probably crying and I was just sitting there and it was such a weird feeling. And it's never like this after a show. Like, usually it's like, alright, cool. That was nice.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whatever.

[Joe Santagato]

And we were just all dead silent. Yeah, like, after it is like, yo, that was crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

After I would say the VAT, like 99% of the shows, we're tired and we're trying to eat and we're trying to go to sleep. Like, that's what it is. But there was. There was definitely more of. Like, you could hear a pin drop in that room.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it was very quiet.

[Frank Alvarez]

And Joey, like, you were. I think, like, I came up to you and I was like, you all right? And he was like, da. And I was like, okay, he's.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I was. I was definitely like processing. Like, I wasn't like, emotional yet.

[Frank Alvarez]

Process.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, I wasn't emotional yet. But then the next morning I was in bed and I watched some fucking tick tock from some fucking asshole who. Who was videotaping me when the confetti was falling. And they like wrote some and whatever. And then I saw some comments of people saying just like, really nice stuff. And then I was just like, oh, God. And it just. That's when it actually came out. And I was just like crying, like, legitimately in my bed, like, Damn, dude. Like that happened yesterday. But that's it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like I said, another day at the office. Can a white boy cry a little bit? God damn. Well, come on, keep going. Keep going while you're at it.

[Joe Santagato]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

Keep going. What? How else is it hard to be a white boy? Come on, white boy.

[Joe Santagato]

Come on, little white boy.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was, it was insane. You know all the people that have been posting on social media, like that tick tock algorithm, it works like overtime. Like once you watch one.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh my God, there was like a bunch of them.

[Prisco]

You're anxious. Yeah, you're, you're doing, you're massaging the mic a lot.

[Joe Santagato]

My bad, my bad.

[Prisco]

You're good, you're good. I'm just making sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, is this good?

[Prisco]

Yeah, just, just.

[Joe Santagato]

Am I fucking this up?

[Prisco]

Dude, actually are just, you know, just trying to do my job over here.

[Frank Alvarez]

I appreciate it.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm sorry.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, no, there were, there were job now I gotta start again. Sorry. Nah, there was.

[Joe Santagato]

Wait, are we editing that out?

[Prisco]

No, we don't have to.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. Oh, you're gonna keep my double, my double.

[Prisco]

Well, now people should deserve.

[Joe Santagato]

Don't call it that.

[Prisco]

Well, yeah, people deserve to have that now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, no, they don't deserve to have it. I mean. Have what? I'm making it worse. Like there were a lot of like people just like, you know, like there were several that I saw that were just like someone's face hysterically crying and then they turn the camera and it's the confetti going off and like that. And I think that's like, if I could be non jokey me for sec. I think one of the things that I consider us to be very lucky with is like, I really do feel like we shared that moment with the people that put us there. Like the people that sat in the seats, the people that came to any of our shows, the people that haven't been able to make it to the shows. Like that is really a testament. Like us getting that opportunity is a testament to like doing it with those people. And like they feel emotional about it and it is emotional because we, we've kind of like shared that with them. Am I crazy for thinking that?

[Joe Santagato]

No, like, I think I, I've said that before. I think at the end of some shows, maybe that was like the first year of tour. But it's interesting because it feels like, yes, these people are like fans of our show and stuff like that. But also the things that they say that people have said to me or said to you or that I See, online, there's, like, a care in there. Like, in the way that they're supportive. And what they're saying is, like, you know, I'm just so happy for you guys, and I'm so proud of you guys for doing this thing and whatever. And that feels different, you know? Cause, like, I'm fans of people and, like, I guess in ways I'm like. But I'm not proud.

[Frank Alvarez]

But you'd never tell Noah Kahan that you're proud of him. That's a weird thing.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm not proud of Noah Kahan.

[Frank Alvarez]

Aaron Judge, I'm proud of you. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

You know, like, because, I mean, I don't know, that's. It feels like a different thing, but when people say that, it's like, I.

[Frank Alvarez]

Could feel that it feels more personal. Absolutely.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it does.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I think it's because, like, I.

[Joe Santagato]

Am proud of you, Noah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You too, Aaron.

[Joe Santagato]

A dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

Also, I. I announced on stage that he won his third mvp.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. And then I.

[Frank Alvarez]

It.

[Joe Santagato]

My friends thought I was serious, because I was like. And Aaron Judge is here, actually.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that would have been bananas.

[Joe Santagato]

Boss was like, bro, I don't know. You doing the garden? Anything's. Nothing's off the bus. Fair.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is fair. But I. I think it's because, like, the way in which, like, the road and the path that has brought us to that stage has been just kind of like, a bit of transparency. Like, we're on the show and we're kind of being ourselves and just bullshitting as normal people. So, like, it's easier for people to connect with that. And maybe. I mean, maybe that's, like, when you look at, like. And this is not me. Taken away from people that have, you know, found their way in other forms of art, whether it be acting, theater, tv, you know, music. But, like, you're getting a polished version of them and whatever you like them in. So, like, if we use, like, give me your favorite movie. Okay. Okay, sure. Shawshank Redemption. I was gonna make a joke, you bastard, but trolls 2. I was gonna say Django Unchained.

[Joe Santagato]

You know, it's crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a great movie.

[Joe Santagato]

No, actually, my favorite movies. Inglourious Bastards.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, well, you. You said you don't consider.

[Joe Santagato]

Don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Drama. I mean, it is a drama, but trying to do a tragedy is what you consider it.

[Joe Santagato]

Right?

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like, if you see Brad Pitt's a bad example. But, like, if you were to see Christoph Waltz, you wouldn't say, like, I'm proud of you, you know, because, like, you're getting just a version of the character that you like. So like the fact that it's us and we're doing it together, it's pretty cool.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Prisco]

Am I wrong for thinking that was a terrible example?

[Joe Santagato]

It's a horrible example.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, I thought. Cuz I didn't know. I thought it was really bad example. Why is that a bad example?

[Prisco]

Because like, it's not as much emotional connection as like.

[Frank Alvarez]

But that's what I'm saying. Like there are people that. Certain people here that feel a huge connection to Inglourious Basterds.

[Joe Santagato]

Right, right, right, right. I do like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, but you know what I'm saying, like if fucking like Jennifer Lawrence wins best Actress, it's like they're doing that, but like when someone sees them, if they're like, I'm proud of you. It's like, oh, you're just saying you're proud of the like the performance and the character. Not like you don't really know the person. Like it's us on that stage, you.

[Prisco]

Know, Better closer, but better not there.

[Joe Santagato]

Heating not there.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just.

[Joe Santagato]

Different actor.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think I'm making great sense and that's all. I know what you're saying at the.

[Joe Santagato]

End of the day, I know what you're saying, but I think it's just because people have been along for the journey. I don't necessarily think it's like, like if people knew Jennifer Lawrence when she like first started doing like a theater or a play. Like those people being like, I'm proud of you. And it feels like we've just like, it was a slow thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did I not say that before when I said like it's about the journey led us to that stage.

[Prisco]

Well, right, but then, but then you went like, oh, if this random insert, random celebrity.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't mean.

[Joe Santagato]

Hey, right, right, right, right, right.

[Frank Alvarez]

Enough.

[Joe Santagato]

I didn't think you were going to say that.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was so funny.

[Joe Santagato]

Am I crazy for thinking that's a horrible example?

[Frank Alvarez]

Hey, guess what? I appreciate transparency, the honesty and the criticism. I don't appreciate that part of it. I appreciate all the. But stroke my ego, please.

[Prisco]

I got you.

[Frank Alvarez]

You saw how Joey was doing that two hander before. Do that to my ego.

[Joe Santagato]

I do it with one hand. I don't know if that's better or worse.

[Frank Alvarez]

But.

[Joe Santagato]

You know, the moment that we did have on the stage at Madison Square Square Garden was all speaking another square, square space, which this podcast is sponsored by.

[Frank Alvarez]

Such a fucking pro. Dude.

[Joe Santagato]

Is a Squarespace is a website where you can build your Website. Okay, so if you're gonna build a website, you have E commerce business, or you make content, or you have anything that you want to show off to people, you need a professional looking website because it is your first impression. People are gonna come to your website, they're gonna trust you or they're gonna go, this doesn't look too good, I'm out. You know, so you want it to look professional. Squarespace is gonna help you get that up and running and give you all the necessary tools to make sure that it's functioning and you can tell where all the people are coming from, where the traffic is and how to increase your traffic. And you have all your analytics all in one place. And like I said, can build your website and run your website through Squarespace. We do that for all of our websites. We use Squarespace. So for anyone out there that would like to use this, you can head to squarespace.com basement and you will save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain using that code basement. Okay, again, that is squarespace.com basement and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain when you use that code basement. But like I said, Squarespace is the platform that we use for all of our websites. So get out there and get to it. This podcast is also sponsored by BetterHelp, which is online therapy. BetterHelp has been a sponsor of ours for many years. But if you want to get into therapy, which I suggest that everyone should be in it, honestly, I think that it's done wonders for me. And, you know, it's not always like, you know, every session is this thing where you're talking about something dramatic and you're crying and it's, you know, I think that people, that's kind of their view, but it is just very helpful to have a third party that you can kind of just talk to. Very transparent, transparently. You don't have to worry about this person sort of using that against you or whatever. They're your therapist. It's, it's, it feels good to let go of a lot of stuff like that. So I suggest everyone is in it. And BetterHelp, they make it very easy to onboard with a therapist. You could do so in just under 48 hours and you can switch from therapist to therapist to find the right fit for you, because that is like the most important thing in my opinion. But yeah, so this is like a great thing. If you want to get hooked up with one of their 30,000 therapists, you can do. So. And this, you can get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp. BetterHelp.combaseMyard okay, so that is BetterHelp spells B E T T E E R h e l p.combaseMyard to get 10 off. All right, so if you want to jump into the world of therapy, there's your sign.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are you done?

[Joe Santagato]

Yep.

[Frank Alvarez]

You want me to talk now? You want me to talk about my things, right? How about I tell them about Patreon? Is that what you want?

[Joe Santagato]

That's kind of.

[Frank Alvarez]

You want me to tell them about patreon.com the basement error where they can go up and they can sign up for. For our. Our Patreon service, where if they sign up for that first year, they get weekly episodes one week in advance? Is that what you want? Or do you want me to tell them about. If they sign up for that second tier Joey, they get exclusive episodes every single Friday so they can start and end their week with the basement yard. More of us. Is that what they want? Is that what you want? You forced me into a thing here. Oh, and let me guess. You want me to tell them that if they go to this, the web URL and a web browser and go to patreon.com the Basement Yard, and sign up using that HTML code, that they're gonna be able to fucking save some money. I'm gonna tell them about that because I want these people to save money because I'm gonna tell them that if they use the smart apps, these tech overlords are gonna take extra money from them. So if they go and they go to a web browser, they save themselves some money signing up for patreon.com such a basement yard. That's what I'm gonna do, Joe.

[Joe Santagato]

Such an interesting approach.

[Frank Alvarez]

Approach to what?

[Joe Santagato]

You said web browser back there.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what it is.

[Joe Santagato]

You said. Oh, smart apps. That was another one.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a smart app.

[Joe Santagato]

That's so bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's bad about it being a smart app? What's it bad about some.

[Joe Santagato]

Bad about it being a smart app. What's bad about it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Was it bad about it? Yeah. Oh, man. Web browsers. Am I right?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I was gonna say you opening up a conversation.

[Frank Alvarez]

Am I right, kids? Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

What were you saying?

[Prisco]

Just giving a tad bit of unk status.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I could be unknown.

[Joe Santagato]

You could be Who's. Who's older than that pop og I could be.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, gee, Unk. I think that's Shannon Sharp, right? Are we talking about him yet?

[Joe Santagato]

What is Your hands pulled back. Yeah. What are you talking about?

[Frank Alvarez]

Didn't he?

[Prisco]

I think he was acquitted. I could be making that up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

What is he. I didn't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Quick little. Go to. Go to your favorite web browser and Google him. Joe.

[Joe Santagato]

My favorite. My search.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ask Jeeves.com.

[Joe Santagato]

Damn. What happened? ATX.

[Frank Alvarez]

Jeeves. I think it's still around. But actually like a dog shit. Like Bing. No offense. Bing.

[Joe Santagato]

Why saying it's so hard?

[Prisco]

I don't know what this.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's just.

[Joe Santagato]

Wait. You don't know what Axe Jeeves is?

[Frank Alvarez]

You've never heard of Ask Jeeves? Yeah. We're all.

[Prisco]

How do I spell it?

[Joe Santagato]

Jeeves.

[Frank Alvarez]

Try to spell it.

[Joe Santagato]

It's Jeeves. It's spelled Jeeves.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, gee.

[Joe Santagato]

It's Jeeves, not Jeeves.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's just ask.

[Prisco]

It's just ask.com now.

[Frank Alvarez]

They got rid of Jeeves. They got rid of Jeeves. That's a cat.

[Prisco]

I think it's a link.

[Frank Alvarez]

They got rid of G. Oh, that's kind of disrespectful. Can you still ask Jeeves?

[Prisco]

So what do I do?

[Frank Alvarez]

Ask.com. where's Jeeves? Go say where's. Where's Jeeves from? Ask Jeeves. Ask.com.

[Joe Santagato]

Ask the Jeeves.

[Frank Alvarez]

Where it. Where is Jeeves? Where is Jeeves? Jeeves?

[Prisco]

This. What is this?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a.

[Joe Santagato]

It's a Wooster and Jeeves.

[Frank Alvarez]

Worcester and Jeeves. Jeeves went and hung out with somebody else. Wooster.

[Joe Santagato]

Type in Axe Jeeves and then go to Google Images. We gotta find Jeeves.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't.

[Joe Santagato]

Wait.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was. He was an old white British. Go to the butler. Go to. I believe you are this inept. But click on that.

[Prisco]

This.

[Joe Santagato]

No. Yes. And just type in Axe Jeeves.

[Frank Alvarez]

If it just rewrote the website. You're typing in the website. Type in Ask.

[Joe Santagato]

Yes. Go to.

[Prisco]

Your instructions are very.

[Frank Alvarez]

There he is. Oh, he's getting a back massage from someone.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whoa.

[Joe Santagato]

What's going on?

[Prisco]

Whoa.

[Frank Alvarez]

Jeeves. Why everyone stopped asking Jeeves? Speak for yourself. Me and Jeeves get asked all time. This was.

[Joe Santagato]

What was that? His gun jammed.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is what people asked before they asked. Fucking dumbass chap.

[Joe Santagato]

GPT. That was Jeeves.

[Frank Alvarez]

That Jeeves was a human.

[Prisco]

Look.

[Frank Alvarez]

Go to the left. All the way to the left.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. That's what the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, look. They literally just said what I said out on that.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, wow. Why is it butter yellow?

[Frank Alvarez]

That was the Internet back in the day, baby. That was the Internet color back in the day.

[Joe Santagato]

So this was like A search engine. You would just type like. Like anything you like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Jeeves. Why the hell is ants fucking so hot?

[Prisco]

Right?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. He saved it.

[Prisco]

He did. But why would you. Like, what did Jeeves answer anything?

[Joe Santagato]

Like, it was like, Google.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was like, google it. He wouldn't be like, hey, it's me, Jeeves. I got an answer for you.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, but they had a mascot.

[Frank Alvarez]

Be that fuck.

[Joe Santagato]

Clippy. Microsoft Word.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, baby.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Do you know him?

[Prisco]

Clippy?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, we should do it. What's going on? Hold on. We should do it.

[Joe Santagato]

You know what pics is?

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you know pics?

[Joe Santagato]

Is that what it's called?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, it ain't. What pics?

[Prisco]

I don't want to Google kid pics.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, oh, yeah, that's better.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's with an X, which. I don't know, 1x, not 3x'. Not 3x's.

[Joe Santagato]

Type in kid pics with an X. One word. Be careful. We could run out of here. Kid picks like this. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Now we're talking about. That's a wild reaction.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're looking at kid pics. I know. Take it easy, dude. So there is a whole. I just realized there is a whole generation of stuff that we experienced as a kid that Ant didn't. We can do an episode. Look.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. You never had kid pics.

[Frank Alvarez]

You never had kid pics. So look, look, look.

[Joe Santagato]

You see?

[Frank Alvarez]

You see the circle? That was when you blew it up.

[Joe Santagato]

So, like, you would draw stuff on here, right? And then you. And then.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's even late, though. That's. That's a more. We need the more primitive kid pics. That's the first picture.

[Joe Santagato]

Go to RGB Rules.

[Frank Alvarez]

No. Yeah. Yes, it is. But also red, green, blue.

[Prisco]

It's red, green.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, hey, but rgb, she. She ruled by definition.

[Joe Santagato]

She did. But if you would do this, you would draw that, right? Then you would take a bomb and you would click and it would do.

[Frank Alvarez]

This bomb, and it would stick it down in my. Go to YouTube.

[Prisco]

I think I faintly remember this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Kid Pigs, bro. You don't know. This is not even a joke. You were born 97, right?

[Prisco]

Yes, sir.

[Frank Alvarez]

We were playing with Kid Pics, the computer game.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

When you were born, man.

[Joe Santagato]

That's a bad name for a company.

[Frank Alvarez]

They clearly didn't have benefit of foresight on their end.

[Joe Santagato]

Kid Pix is crazy, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just go. Go, like Google, go to YouTube and just type in kid picks. Dynamite. Bad. I don't think kid pics that are dynamite.

[Joe Santagato]

Type in kid pics that are so dynamite.

[Frank Alvarez]

Go.

[Prisco]

Am I.

[Frank Alvarez]

My favorite app. Kid Pics. Kid Pics.

[Joe Santagato]

And it's dynamite.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would use it every day. My kid pics.

[Joe Santagato]

There wasn't a day that I could.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wake up without kid. Every day in school, I'd go to the computer. Imagine being a teacher at that point in time and just being like, hey, we're going to do something in school today. What is it? Get on the computer. I've got kid pics for you. What is this? Go down kid pics 4. No, 2004 is too late, baby. I don't know if we're gonna find no that one.

[Prisco]

These videos are all 17 minutes long.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that's.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, there's a 430. You don't need to do the whole thing, but scrub through it. Scrub a dub dub. Find that fucking.

[Prisco]

There's an ad.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, fucking advertisement.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now they want free plugs.

[Joe Santagato]

Crazy, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Look at this, baby.

[Joe Santagato]

This is kid pics.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is kid pics. Look.

[Joe Santagato]

You can have a stand.

[Frank Alvarez]

Would make. They would make sounds like. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

And then you do straight lines.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're just narrating. Look at that.

[Joe Santagato]

Look at the hands, dude. Ding dong.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that was a big dong. I forgot about that. There was multiple ways to erase, and.

[Joe Santagato]

One of them was a ding dong.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then this. And then it would open. Be like, yo, my shit is gone. Yeah. And they would do shapes and look. I love this. Yeah, the gay. The gays color.

[Joe Santagato]

Come on, man.

[Prisco]

I'm not kidding. I thought the doorbell rang.

[Frank Alvarez]

We don't have judge. Like, this is when.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, don't get Frank started.

[Frank Alvarez]

When companies were playful. No, but like, look at how.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, go back. When they erase. I need to see how they erase again. That one's ass.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was so ass's balls.

[Joe Santagato]

That was so ass's balls.

[Frank Alvarez]

Go back, go back, go back. Here we go. Watch this. Watch. Oh, that's not a good one. Well, I saw a cross on there. The hell was that?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that was kind of freaky, bro. That one was whack. I don't even want to see this.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm disgusting. If I don't see the dynamite, I'm gonna be.

[Joe Santagato]

I need to see that, man. Goddamn dynamite. Did they bury the dynamite? Because they know we want to see the dynamite.

[Prisco]

I think there's.

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Santagato]

Go back. There was a circular one that was circle. That was this. This.

[Frank Alvarez]

Go to. No, I think they drew that.

[Joe Santagato]

No, this is another one. It's like a bomb that comes in. Boom. And it erases. That was kind of cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's up. My eyes give kids. Yeah. If anyone suffered from some form of.

[Joe Santagato]

Epilepsy, there will be no picks left.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do they have kid pics? The computer game we have to. Yeah. Available today.

[Joe Santagato]

Make sure you say the full.

[Frank Alvarez]

See if they have it. Because I remember I'd go home and I'd open Microsoft Paint and it was so dumb. It'd be like, oh, I can draw with a pencil.

[Prisco]

So can I play with kid pics with a X today?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, don't say that.

[Joe Santagato]

Don't write that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just write kid pics 20, 25.

[Joe Santagato]

I can't. I mean, listen, there's a lot of.

[Frank Alvarez]

I see. Why. Why do they do this to us?

[Joe Santagato]

I hate the name of this company.

[Frank Alvarez]

Likely refers to the VTech. Kill kid pics.

[Prisco]

3D.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, try that.

[Joe Santagato]

Don't 3D.

[Frank Alvarez]

Kid pics.

[Joe Santagato]

Don't do.

[Frank Alvarez]

So this is probably the new 15 day trial.

[Prisco]

I did realize clicking on that could have been also.

[Frank Alvarez]

What website is this? Machia.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I. This feels.

[Frank Alvarez]

This feels like we're Kid pics. I don. It's the website. It's the official website.

[Prisco]

No, I've been. My mom has been caught with this before. Social Security things.

[Frank Alvarez]

Your mom's been caught with kid.

[Prisco]

That was. That was not good.

[Joe Santagato]

We're never. What is she getting caught with?

[Prisco]

Like, she's given her Social Security.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I got scammed stuff. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it happened to my mom too.

[Prisco]

Kid pics.

[Frank Alvarez]

But there were so many. So you don't know. So you don't know about. Go to Clippy.

[Joe Santagato]

Type in Clippy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Clippy. You don't know Clippy from Microsoft Word? This little invasive bastard. I'd be trying to put something in word art. You don't know Clippy, bro.

[Prisco]

I see. I've seen this.

[Frank Alvarez]

And he would pop up and he'd be like, looks like you're making a poster board. Let me tell you about this. Like, dude, I'm just trying to write the scientific method.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, I've. I've, like, I've leaned on Clippy like a few times in my life.

[Frank Alvarez]

Be honest with something. Be really honest with something. When you were in like middle school or high school, do you ever plagiarize?

[Joe Santagato]

Be honest, bro. I would say 68% of my entire academic career was not me. Okay?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, when I got to college, they had like the web, like portals that like you had to upload your paper to. And they would come back and be like, you're good or like you're not. But I Remember in sixth grade, I did a paper and I'm not kidding, it was the Wikipedia entry. Just copy and paste it to the paper. Like, not even sixth grade. You think you're so smart. I mean, the teacher's gonna look at.

[Joe Santagato]

And be like, what?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I didn't get caught for it. What? Yeah, so she was like, what?

[Joe Santagato]

Who was your sixth grade teacher?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not gonna say her name.

[Joe Santagato]

That was 141, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it was.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that checks.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was the same one that called me disgusting.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, you discussed me in a sixth grader.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, because I had told her, like, the reason I miss a month of homework is because my grandfather.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, you are disgusting, though. But she's not supposed to say that.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I did. My grandfather did die.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. 10 years prior.

[Frank Alvarez]

Three. That's no, more. More like six. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

No kid pics for you, buddy.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's fine.

[Joe Santagato]

You want to. You want to get this one upset? Take away this kid pics.

[Frank Alvarez]

Come on. See? Why do you got to do that? Why you got to do all that, Joey? I just. There's so much with an X.1X. So, like, you didn't have a Goosebumps book?

[Prisco]

I had Goosebumps books.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, you gotta feel those.

[Frank Alvarez]

You had to feel, like, the ones.

[Joe Santagato]

That were, like, ribbed.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, but like, when Monster Blood or, like, the one with, like, the dad's, like, hand was on it, where it was like, stay out the basement.

[Joe Santagato]

The one that had, like, the purple goo. I'm like, oh, it's ribbed for her pleasure. Like, you kind of feel it in your hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like the one that was just like, say cheese or die. And it's like the Polaroid of just, like, the skeletons, and he's, like, cooking and like that. Yo, those were, like, trading cards back in the day. And I know you're thinking, yes, I've looked into ebay listings to get, like, OG first edition Goosebumps books.

[Joe Santagato]

You remember one when Captain Underpants was mad popular.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, that was a bit like, I read those books, yo.

[Joe Santagato]

I, like, bartered one at a Scholastic book fair once. I was like, yo, I only got, like, a dollar and, like, a eraser. Like, give me this book.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, back in the day, a dollar got you, like, a whole, like, Christmas season's worth of gifts for your family. Like, I remember I'd come home with that little white bag that looks like they're from the dentist. You know what I'm talking about?

[Joe Santagato]

I do.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I'd be like, all right, so I got Chris A thing of slime. I got Jessica and a rather.

[Joe Santagato]

All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

I got Mom.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, the slime.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. They would have little cups. Like, they were, like, little, like.

[Joe Santagato]

And, like, glittery kind of.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. They were hard. And they smelled so good, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't remember the stink of them.

[Frank Alvarez]

There was certain slimes that were stinky.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. They're like, wet and farty and stinky.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, geez.

[Prisco]

I read Goosebumps, and as soon as it said, oh, if you pick this thing, go to this page, I said, this too complicated. I stopped reading.

[Frank Alvarez]

Taking small direction was just a little too much for you.

[Prisco]

You could choose like I Choose your own adventure. Goosebumps.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Prisco]

If you went left, go to page 400.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. It literally would be like. You'd read five pages and it'd be like, you can either go to page 45 or you can go to page 6.

[Joe Santagato]

Just give me the monsters.

[Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, they were all over the place. They were. There were monsters everywhere.

[Joe Santagato]

R.L. stine. When I picture, I have no idea what that guy looks like.

[Frank Alvarez]

But you don't, dude. You don't know who R.L. what R.L. stein looks like?

[Joe Santagato]

I am. I don't know if I want to know. Do I want to know?

[Prisco]

What do you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hold on. Wait. Joey, close your eyes. Look up a picture of R.L. stine, and then look up a picture of some other random person. I guarantee he'll know who RL Style.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm sure he looks like how I think he looks like.

[Frank Alvarez]

He looks like R.L. stein, brother. Like, there's no way. And this is a look up RL Style.

[Joe Santagato]

Let's take a look.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know that he has sold more books than Stephen King?

[Joe Santagato]

Really? Yes.

[Prisco]

Oh, that's about right.

[Joe Santagato]

Is he in the intro?

[Frank Alvarez]

Am I bugging? He's in some of the shows where he's just like, I'm R.L. stein.

[Joe Santagato]

Robert Lawrence Stein.

[Prisco]

Stephen King looks like Stephen King.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, dude, talk about cocaine talk. Stephen King. Some of his books are fucking out there, brother. Why? Why do these guys look like the books?

[Joe Santagato]

You know what I'm saying?

[Frank Alvarez]

I guess, you know, like, you find that they get popular some way, and then you see them and you just.

[Joe Santagato]

Kind of like, type in Goosebumps Skeleton book.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's no say Cheese and Die.

[Joe Santagato]

Is that the one?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. You don't need to go through it. I know what it is. They were say Cheese and Die. There was type that in Goosebumps. Just go to Goosebumps covers and you'll see all the ones. And you'll be like, I'll tell you.

[Joe Santagato]

What I thought R.L. stein looked like.

[Frank Alvarez]

I stole one of these books from Lauren.

[Joe Santagato]

Lauren.

[Frank Alvarez]

Bet.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

LB's.

[Joe Santagato]

LB's.

[Prisco]

I don't know if this is what we wanted.

[Joe Santagato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why not? There was.

[Joe Santagato]

I remember there being a cover where there was, like, a skeleton on it. Or a mummy, maybe.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, there was a mummy book.

[Joe Santagato]

No, this isn't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Santagato]

Fucking guy's face.

[Frank Alvarez]

Say cheese or die. That's the first one. Look at it.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't like.

[Prisco]

It scares me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, that's not the one I'm thinking of. There was one where it was like a mummy or something and he was, like, looking like this, and I was like, that's what I think R.L.

[Frank Alvarez]

Stein looks like.

[Joe Santagato]

Like a mummy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, that's pretty. Pretty good. It is pretty good. Camp Jelly Jam. I remember that one that I don't.

[Joe Santagato]

Like when things are drawn like that, where it's like people are smiling really hard and their eyes are open. I don't like that. Goosebump. Freaks me out, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

So good.

[Joe Santagato]

Do you think that Goosebumps would be successful if their books weren't ribbed for her pleasure?

[Frank Alvarez]

No way.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't think.

[Frank Alvarez]

Absolutely not. No. A big part of. A big part of what made Goosebumps successful was, like, how much effort they put into the aesthetics of this, the rib, the ribbed. And like, also not even just that, but, like, the pages being, like, basically made of just, like, papyrus.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I. With it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, it. Like, you open that book and you smell it. Like, books aren't made with that no more.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I don't like this.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't like modern books.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, either. I miss when they smell like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, I love opening a book and just be like, I don't know if this was printed last year or in 1501. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Dude. I feel like back in the day, I would walk into a library and I'd be like, yo, it smells like diarrhea. But, like, good, good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, I'm not even book diarrhea. And I knew, like, when I walked into a library, I knew that it was the stinkiest, safest, safest place on her. Yeah. And then the librarian walked over. She smelled like.

[Joe Santagato]

Yes, she was a.

[Frank Alvarez]

She smelled. She's a mean.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mean person that could have had a dirty diaper, probably, but the love of books.

[Joe Santagato]

She was mean but good. We're dealing with books, my guy. We can't have someone soft in here.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like a Dewey Decimal System is about, bro. The Dewey Decimal system is not meant to be fucked with. And I don't do.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't. I don't guess. I'll never learn it.

[Joe Santagato]

Is it just decimals? What is the Dewey?

[Frank Alvarez]

Who's Dewey? Why does he have his own decimal system? And how do we, as the basement yard, get our own numeric system?

[Joe Santagato]

I just miss when books are fucking filthy bastards. They smell like money, kind of.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love. Dude, I love when people would slam a book down and it would just look like dust.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, and it was just an old, fat, stupid book that, you know, just like you. If you open that thing, you like, who had this?

[Joe Santagato]

Do kids still have textbooks?

[Frank Alvarez]

This is a great question.

[Joe Santagato]

That's a great, very disconnected question. But, like, do kids still have textbooks? Because I used to love textbooks, too. One of the best parts with, like, opening up and for whatever reason, I. Like, in high school, it was like, I'd be looking for, like, a famous person's name. Like, oh, is Brad Pitt Use this book? Like, I don't know anyone.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. I thought you were going to say, like, you open to, like, a random page and you'll find a funny picture and it'll be like, yo, turn to page 60. One second. It's like.

[Joe Santagato]

It's a penis.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, like a random dick drawn on page 14. This is part of being a child, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Handed down textbooks was so. It was like, socks, bro. You see how he just jumps there? Book socks. I remember a book sock.

[Joe Santagato]

Yo, you had books fire.

[Frank Alvarez]

Some of us. Some of us. Our mom had to do the fucking, like, cardboard paper, construction paper. Remember? They would be like, you have to cover your own book or you're in trouble. What is that? Fuck you. And it was the librarian who. I give her pass because she had a lot going on. That Dewey Decimal System's tough, but get the fuck out of here, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

Also you remember, like, there was a.

[Frank Alvarez]

Couple Asian kids, stationary, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

They had this, like, plastic wrap that was so tightly wrapped around this book. I was like, nothing's gonna get to.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not even just that. But it was like they put it on and then used, like, a heat gun.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. There was no bubbles, no nothing. It was, like, perfectly put on. I was like, yo, you fuck, what is this?

[Frank Alvarez]

It was crazy. It was honestly crazy. But, like, they were book socks. Love that. Which were basically. It was just spandex for a book.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. It was like. But sometimes you'd wear it as a do rag.

[Frank Alvarez]

Some of us.

[Joe Santagato]

I've done that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

I'd be like, yo.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then, and then what? What would you say instead? Do rag.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, this was in middle school.

[Frank Alvarez]

Gotcha. This was peak. You know, like Don Don Santagato. Yeah. Tego Santa Gato.

[Joe Santagato]

Nah. You know what it is like, back then, I feel like my Spanish and black friends were like, we really want to see you in a durag. So that, you know, did it give you waves? No, it did not.

[Frank Alvarez]

Didn't give you waves? No, your durag did not give you waves.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, man, the book socks. Man, those are great.

[Frank Alvarez]

Damn right, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

You remember reading logs?

[Frank Alvarez]

I, I. Let me tell you something.

[Joe Santagato]

My parents have never signed a reading log. That's what I'll say.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I, I mean, I've told you what my approach was, you know.

[Joe Santagato]

Great. This is great.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I mean, you know what my approach was for the reading logs is I would have my grandmother who.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, that's a bad one way.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's how I thought you were complimenting me, exploiting my demented grandma.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, I do respect that. I know that sounds bad game. I do respect the game.

[Frank Alvarez]

What were you thinking? I was, I thought you were going.

[Joe Santagato]

To say that as long as you forge from the beginning, you can't go wrong.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I, My thought process didn't go that far in fourth grade.

[Joe Santagato]

My mom has like incredible penmanship. Like, she has like this magical.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep.

[Joe Santagato]

My mom, like, you know, whatever. That's because they would beat them in school until they got it right.

[Frank Alvarez]

Absolutely.

[Joe Santagato]

Which stopped with us. So our handwriting is not as good.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's why. That is why our whole generation is sucks.

[Joe Santagato]

You want people to have better handwriting.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hit them with a yard.

[Joe Santagato]

Gotta let the teachers kick the shit out of their kids.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what's wrong. You know what's wrong with this country and the youth? They didn't get their ass whooped by their teachers.

[Joe Santagato]

Their teacher wasn't beating them with a yard score.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. That's why we appropriate. That's why we have failed. Who is. You think it's crazy that teachers were paid well and then beaten the shit out of our kids?

[Joe Santagato]

Listen, what, what do you, what do you think matters more? Perfect handwriting, penmanship or and like trauma or, or no trauma and bad handwriting? You tell me. You think you trauma, bro. Whatever you got. You probably, you know, you got a few screws loose when you get older and like, it's hard for you to make relationships because you were beaten by your teacher.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then teachers need a place to blow off steam.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. They got.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why in God's name shouldn't it be with their fists and children and their.

[Joe Santagato]

Children'S faces and children that aren't there.

[Frank Alvarez]

Exactly. And look at how good the handwriting was. You think my grandmother got good handwriting because her teacher was nice to her? No, it was because was afraid that she was going to gut her like a pig in school. Come on, guys. When I think back to, like, our.

[Joe Santagato]

Parents being like, oh, our teacher used to hit us, I'd be like, I would literally kill my teacher.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, if someone touched. First of all, if I went home today, oh, man. And one of my children said, like, oh, my teacher hit me with a ruler, bro, I'm coming with you. I'm driving my car through their living room.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, it's not gonna be a fun reaction.

[Joe Santagato]

It's crazy.

[Prisco]

My dad would. My dad would sign my homework so poorly that the teacher thought that it was me forging it. And then I would get in trouble, and then I would cry.

[Joe Santagato]

That's fire.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that's kind of. That's kind of.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, that's because your dad didn't get his ass whooped, probably.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

What he needed was a yardstick.

[Frank Alvarez]

Damn right. Your dad, Mr. Yellow. He did not. He did not get his ass whooped enough.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that's what he needed. But you know what else we need in this world? Or a frame.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

Or frames.

[Frank Alvarez]

Or have pictures of your grandparents.

[Joe Santagato]

You can have pictures of your grandparents and your favorite teachers who helped you in this life. But. Or frames.

[Frank Alvarez]

These are.

[Joe Santagato]

These are great gifts. I mean, the holidays are coming up, and I always suggest this to people. I think it's a great gift, especially for, like, a parent or a grandparent or whatever, you know, people you don't get to see often. But it's a digital frame that you can upload pictures and videos, too. And then it's kind of like a slideshow. So, like, we got one for my mom last year, and, you know, all the. My siblings and I, we kind of upload pictures to it. So she has it, like, on her nightstand. And then now they have kids and stuff, so she gets all these pictures. It's fairly nice, so it's really cool. It's an awesome gift. You can have unlimited photos and video. You can preload some of the photos before you ship it so she doesn't open it. It's like, oh, this is a picture of nothing. You can preload pictures into it. You can personalize it. There's a gift box included, so it's great. And for a limited time, you can Save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off of OR's best selling Carver mat frames, which was named number one by Wirecutter. You can use the promo code basement at checkout. So if you use that code basement at checkout, you're going to get 35 off. And that's our frames spelled A U R A frames.com and the promo code is Basement. Okay? This deal is exclusive to our listeners and frames will sell out fast, especially now that the holidays are here. So get your orders in now in time for the holidays and support the show by mentioning us at checkout. So again, Cody's basement, you're going to save 35 off at or frames.com it's a great gift, so enjoy. And we also have Brooklyn Bedding. Okay. Brooklyn bedding gives you high end mattress experience without the sky high price tag. Okay. There's nothing better than having a great mattress. Honestly. Sleep is a very important part of our all of our lives. So having the right mattress is very important and they're gonna, they're gonna do it for you. They handcraft every mattress in their Arizona factory. There's no middlemen, no gimmicks, just top tier quality, honest pricing. And yeah, they're gonna help you sleep at night. And it's important, I mean you're gonna lay on it every day. You're gonna want a high quality mattress. So they also offer a 120 night comfort trial. So you love it or they'll return it or swap it hassle free. So they're pretty confident that you will love their bed. But you can go to BrooklynBetting.com and use the promo code basement at checkout to get 30% off site wide. Okay. This offer is not available anywhere else. So that's brooklynbetting.com and the promo code is basement for 30% off site wide. Okay. So support the show. Let them know that we send you after you check out. But it's BrooklynBetting.com and that code is basement. Get that 30% off. Get yourself a nice bed for the holidays. How about that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, highly recommended. Got one of their beds. Incredible. What we just talked about. I have a question. Do you think like how much about like 90s culture do you know and not know, like if we were to pull up random like toys or items, would you like have no clue what they were?

[Joe Santagato]

If we pull up kid pics?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, they would have to, he didn't know kid pics, which was huge.

[Prisco]

They would have to have bled into the early 2000s at least.

[Frank Alvarez]

So like I can't think of it. If I were to give an example, would you know moon shoes?

[Prisco]

Yeah, but moon shoes.

[Joe Santagato]

What's the skip shit?

[Frank Alvarez]

Skip it.

[Joe Santagato]

That's a. Yep. That's a good name for it. You don't know Skip it.

[Frank Alvarez]

You don't know Skip it. Type in Skip it.

[Joe Santagato]

Skip to my loop.

[Frank Alvarez]

Skip it.

[Joe Santagato]

Skip it. That's I skip it toys.

[Prisco]

90S.

[Joe Santagato]

Yes. You never seen one of these Skip it. You put it around your ankle and it kind of just rolls.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then like you kind of go in a circle and you jump over it and you're supposed to see how many times you could skip it.

[Joe Santagato]

I wasn't good at the skip.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was never good at skip it. I was also never good at jumping rope. You know.

[Joe Santagato]

You know Bop it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah. You know, Bob, you know sock and boppers.

[Joe Santagato]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

Sock emboppers.

[Prisco]

Sock and boppers, the two robots.

[Frank Alvarez]

Those are Rock Em Sock ems. You don't know the difference. The difference between sock emboppers and Rock Em Sock ems. Rock Em Sock EMS does not Sock Em boppers. Sock emboppers is when you're bopping someone's sock and Bakum's Rock Em Sock EMS is Rockin Sock' Em Sock' em Rock Rock Ems.

[Joe Santagato]

Look, there's giant sock emboss.

[Prisco]

These were something else that I had.

[Joe Santagato]

It wasn't these off brand sock embopper.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think you remember the commercial soccer boppers. We could sock all day and bop all night. That was the real. I swear that was the real commercial.

[Joe Santagato]

That's insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was the real commercial between kid pics and that.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, what do we do?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean I'm not, I'm not. I'm not writing these adults that wrote and performed that jingle should be ashamed of the.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, the 90s are a wild west.

[Frank Alvarez]

These are just a way to just punch your friend in the face and pretend it didn't hurt.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it absolutely still hurt, by the way.

[Frank Alvarez]

Absolutely.

[Joe Santagato]

But you did, you did like, what was it? The sock up Rock Em Sock Em Bakam.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right. Okay. Oh, no, don't. Don't start looking at stuff, you know.

[Joe Santagato]

Polly Pocket.

[Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Don't piss me off if you didn't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

We shouldn't look at.

[Prisco]

Those are so popular. They transcend like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but see, here's the thing is I don't want to like, you start looking into this like I'd rather us pull it up and then like see if ant knows it or is it not a good full length episode.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know. But like, we're talking about it now.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, so if I were to say Betty Spaghetti, you know who we're rocking with?

[Prisco]

Is that Plato with coming out of the hair?

[Frank Alvarez]

No. Pretty close though.

[Joe Santagato]

I think you're thinking of like Chia Pets.

[Frank Alvarez]

Nope.

[Prisco]

No, that's plants.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you're literally. It's literally like Play Doh when they would like put it and then they'd like pull it down and it was like a barber section of Play doh.

[Prisco]

That's what I just said.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I said you're thinking of.

[Prisco]

Okay, I know that one.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hit clips. Who hit clips?

[Joe Santagato]

I thought you said clits hit clips.

[Prisco]

I didn't know that. In the 90s.

[Frank Alvarez]

Clits.

[Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would hope not. You were three at oldest.

[Prisco]

Barely know now.

[Joe Santagato]

What the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, my God. You don't remember hit clips?

[Joe Santagato]

I had no, dude, they were like.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is called 12 to 15 second versions of songs on like a miniature little like thing. And you could play it like that.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it was hit songs on little clips. Yeah. So it was little clips of hit song.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, they were hit clips.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, obviously you know what a furby is? Did you have a furby?

[Joe Santagato]

No, Never got into.

[Frank Alvarez]

I had a furby.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't like furbies in my house. They. Their eyes. I don't like it.

[Frank Alvarez]

They definitely had eyes, but like, their.

[Joe Santagato]

Eyes were so open. This is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, this look. I have so much to talk about, guys.

[Prisco]

These hit. These hit clips. These look. This looks old.

[Joe Santagato]

This is all this shit.

[Frank Alvarez]

What about yak back? Do you remember a yak back?

[Joe Santagato]

What's that?

[Frank Alvarez]

You definitely remember a yak back.

[Joe Santagato]

Yak back?

[Prisco]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

It was just like a voice recorder.

[Frank Alvarez]

But you could like talk to it. You could be like, hey, what's up? And then you could distort it to be like a robot. Like, hey, what's up?

[Prisco]

No, I don't know what this is.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was a pretty good like RFK Jr there. What did I just do?

[Joe Santagato]

Hey, what's up?

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't believe you didn't back. Oh, man.

[Joe Santagato]

What else? Did you ever have a yo yo?

[Prisco]

I could. Yo yo.

[Joe Santagato]

You can yo yo.

[Prisco]

I've walked a dog in my day.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I've never. A big walk with the triangle where.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was like the tick tock clock or something like that.

[Joe Santagato]

I did that one once and I.

[Frank Alvarez]

Was like, father, I knew someone that was like a legit world. Champion. Yo yoer.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, they have had.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know you're thinking no sex.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, they had sex.

[Frank Alvarez]

They have had. No, not with me. I know people that they've had sex.

[Prisco]

If you're the world champion in anything.

[Joe Santagato]

It'S got to be cool.

[Prisco]

You'll find somebody.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, yeah. Imagine girl like, ready.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can imagine. I mean, if you could pull someone being a world champion yo yoer, I imagine that's pretty difficult.

[Prisco]

No, you're the world champion.

[Joe Santagato]

There's got to be like, there's other people involved in the scene.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Prisco]

And you're the best.

[Joe Santagato]

You're the world champion.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you'll get me. Teach you how to walk the dog. Like, oh, you want me to bring you around the world, sweetie?

[Joe Santagato]

That's. I mean, that's what I'm saying.

[Prisco]

You're getting there.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't, I can't.

[Joe Santagato]

He's probably definitely making. As a world champion, you're probably. You got to be making at least a couple hundred bucks.

[Prisco]

Right? Right?

[Frank Alvarez]

A couple dozen bucks. Dude, let me take.

[Joe Santagato]

You ever.

[Frank Alvarez]

You ever play cat's cradle?

[Prisco]

Like jack?

[Joe Santagato]

Which one is that?

[Frank Alvarez]

The string?

[Joe Santagato]

That the. Yo, yo. Oh, oh, yeah, that thing. Yeah. What is that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. It was like an old time game. Speak it up. That our fucking. Our librarian taught us.

[Joe Santagato]

She taught us that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I remember she taught us that.

[Joe Santagato]

It was like shout out.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then it was.

[Joe Santagato]

But Ms. Martinez used to bark at us, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really? I'm not kidding. Whatever happened to women of a certain era that could scream with bass?

[Joe Santagato]

Yo, that's so true. Our fifth grade teacher, her. Her name, her last name was Schnitzer.

[Frank Alvarez]

There was, yo, there was. I can. I'm not even kidding. I can name five teachers in our elementary school that screamed with like the base of Barry White, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

Ms. Schnitzer was this old rickety, like, German. German woman. But she would let it go like a beast, dude. I remember reamed him one.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

And I was like, yo, she got hit the wall.

[Frank Alvarez]

She got me. I just wanted to go and play some kid pics.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And she was mad at me.

[Joe Santagato]

She was pissed.

[Frank Alvarez]

No. And then you remember Pogrebin Pokerman had some pipes, bro. This woman was like five foot zero. Yeah. And she could scream, my God, like the lead singer of guar.

[Joe Santagato]

She literally was like, yo, she was letting it.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I remember she got low with it.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, yo, Ms. Lynch, bro. There was a teacher, yo, I had a megaphone and she didn't need it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not convinced she was a real Person. She was. I'm telling you right now, thinking back on Ms. Lynch from our elementary school cafeteria. Yeah, she was created to be a lunch lady, yo.

[Joe Santagato]

She. She dead ass was like the mitochondria of that school.

[Frank Alvarez]

Powerhouse of the cell, baby.

[Prisco]

She.

[Joe Santagato]

She literally, like, she was like, in charge of the entire lunchroom. And it's like, yo, you gotta. You gotta really, you know, be that if you're gonna be. If you're gonna be in charge. And she had the whole fucking school listening.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know why?

[Joe Santagato]

Right? Because they could hear at all times.

[Frank Alvarez]

And you know why?

[Joe Santagato]

Right? Why?

[Frank Alvarez]

Probably got her ass kicked by her teacher.

[Joe Santagato]

Her teachers beat the shit, dog shit out of her.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dog walked her. And also, RIP. I imagine she was fucking 900 when we were kids. That was 30 years ago. I am. You have to also put yourself in that position. That lunchroom looked like it was built to be a fallout shelter. Shelter.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was brick.

[Joe Santagato]

Bricks.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm talking brick city. And all those. The. The. All the pillars and all the windows had cages on them. Literally, like, yo, this was a prison for little children. It looked like an insane asylum, yo.

[Joe Santagato]

And it was.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, I swear to God, it looked like the scene in Good Burger where they went to the insane asylum. Do you remember that scene, dude?

[Joe Santagato]

Yes, it looks exactly like that. And then when you go in the bathrooms, anything that was metal in that school, if there was a chip, you would realize this has been painted over.

[Frank Alvarez]

1 billion times with, like, red lead.

[Joe Santagato]

The reddest paint, dude, blood.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember I used to hate touching the handrails because my hands would smell. Yeah. Like just raw iron.

[Joe Santagato]

There's no way that paint. And then they would have any sort.

[Frank Alvarez]

Of health code, test and 0. 0. I'm not even kidding. It was like the paint was so caked onto these fucking handrails. It was like. And also the stairs. Cage. Cages. Cages, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

The stage.

[Frank Alvarez]

I haven't been in there. Can we go back?

[Joe Santagato]

I would love to.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would love to, like, do a video of us, like, taking a tour of our fucking elementary school.

[Joe Santagato]

I literally would chip into the handrail and just see. It would look like a jawbreaker, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, I couldn't tell if my hand smelled of raw iron or chicken. That's what that fucking place was like. It was incredible.

[Joe Santagato]

But that. That building could crank out a rectangle piece.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pizza.

[Joe Santagato]

Let me tell you.

[Frank Alvarez]

A rectangle pizza, baby. When that mystery ravioli came out, that was just 48 million ounces of sauce and one ravioli. You had a fine.

[Joe Santagato]

You had the power of the sun in the middle of that ravioli.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, you did. And then you had just the voice of all voices, Ms. Lynch, just bellowing out, yo, like crazy. I'm gonna put it in terms of. You'll understand. Pokemon on. Yeah. Loud dread. Like. Like this. She had the power on her that was just like, holy.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, bro, think about this. You're in a. What feels like an insane asylum surrounded by children. All the. All the windows have cages. You're eating a ravioli that is 1 million degrees in the center. So you're burning your mouth. There's a teacher screaming so loud into a megaphone that is peaking and cracking because her voice is so loud. And she's selling pretzels in the middle of the fucking lunchroom. And then you're getting a nosebleed. It's like, this was my life. Like, that was my life. Like, getting nosebleeds was, like, all the time.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh. And I know what you're thinking. Not hot pretzels. Maybe ice cold, sopping wet pretzels that were covered in the coarsest, biggest chunks of salt that you have ever seen.

[Joe Santagato]

The first few bites of those pretzels tasted like the cardboard box that they arrived in.

[Frank Alvarez]

Absolutely. And then the last three bites, if you made it that far, was basically just like licking a Himalayan pink salt lamp. Okay. And then you look around and there are children lined up everywhere.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

For whatever reason, because they would, like, stagger the lunch periods. Do you remember?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So like, we would get there as, like, third grade was getting ready to leave. So, like, we're on the line around the whole room and getting ready to get our food. And then third graders are just heckling us, walking in between. Just like you fifth graders are gay. We're just like. We're not gay.

[Joe Santagato]

Honestly, I forgot about all that. I have children lined up everywhere.

[Frank Alvarez]

I say, hear me out, because I know your mom used to work there. She probably has some connects still, right?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I imagine.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just get us in there to do a tour, have him follow us with a camera, and we just talk about.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm sure you remember every.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I'm not kidding.

[Joe Santagato]

It's like brand. They did a whole giant extension. Did you know that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Dumb, stupid leave building. I also hope they have those old school fucking doorknobs. Those are cool doorknobs. They were like, custom. They were like, this is back when we cared about stuff. Now what? Now what? You're gonna have a prefab door that you had a made in a factory in China because it's cheaper you bought.

[Joe Santagato]

It at Home Depot.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is all Shark Tank's fault.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. These were custom knobs. Custom knobs that said the name of the school and everything.

[Frank Alvarez]

Knobs, pics, and just screaming short little German women. Why were all of our teachers German? You want to hear something, Schnitzer, bro?

[Joe Santagato]

Do you remember? I mean, I know that you remember, but in. In that school that you would take one of your friends, not one of your friends, but they'd be like, all right, someone's got to clean the erasers. Because that's when you use chalkboards. There was a dedicated room in the building that was the size of this white thing here.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo. Not. Not a joke.

[Joe Santagato]

There was a machine. It was a. Louder than the German teachers. And you would turn it on and there'd be a thing that goes like this, like a brush. And then you would clean it in there. The entire room is covered in chalk.

[Frank Alvarez]

And there was no light, no ventilation, no light. We were six years old. Hot boxing school. Miners school. Chalk. Yeah. We walked out of there like fucking like I was. Rough day in the mines.

[Joe Santagato]

It was in my lungs and in my eyes and shit. I had another nosebleed.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, life was so simple.

[Joe Santagato]

I bled from my nose more than I. Than anyone who's ever done cocaine in their 20s.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And they would send the piece of shit kids like me and Joey to go down and do that. And then the cool kids that were three fucking levels ahead in reeving would get to use the big purple sponge on the board to clean the board while all the cool Asian kids have the cool stationary. And what do we have? Just fucking chalk lungs.

[Joe Santagato]

Send them down to the mines.

[Frank Alvarez]

Go clean the fucking chalk. The chalk erasers. And then they gave our poor art teacher a room under the stairs in the basement. Rip, rip, rip.

[Joe Santagato]

I remember the first day of class for. For that teacher, we. We drew the planets. That's the last thing I'll say.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, it's the last thing she probably heard too, because she died.

[Joe Santagato]

I love you. I was calling God there.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're not gonna say her name.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, no, we're not.

[Frank Alvarez]

What is wrong with school nowadays? I think. Listen, I know you. I know how the last 20 minutes.

[Joe Santagato]

Have been a blur.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know how, like, much you guys have rallied for getting rid of the Department of Education. So if I can make. If I can make. Well, you just talked about abolishing the Department of Ed.

[Joe Santagato]

My family lived off the Department of Ed. If you.

[Frank Alvarez]

If I can make one suggestion. I say make schools, like, only use schools that were built in the 1910s.

[Joe Santagato]

So the ones that are filled with.

[Frank Alvarez]

Asbestos, you can get them out. Sure. You can abate them, get kids back in there. Because there's a sense of just, like, you need personality in the walls. If you just go to school and you're like, oh, it's just, you know, a smart board. If I find out my kids learning on a whiteboard, I'm taking that board and I'm tearing it out.

[Joe Santagato]

Did you guys.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know you have.

[Joe Santagato]

We had this together, but, like, did you have. Did you ever use a chalkboard growing up?

[Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

So did you get to the point where I was like, okay, there's these new boards, and then in order to use the new boards, there was, like, this whole system where you had to go over and, like, click the.

[Prisco]

Yep.

[Joe Santagato]

I think about that all the time, and I'm like, oh, my God, this is, like, so cool. Where you had to, like, click the X here, then the X there.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

It's like, oh, now we can use this thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And they ended up sucking nuts.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, my God.

[Frank Alvarez]

They were not good.

[Joe Santagato]

It was basically like using an Etch A Sketch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. But I remember when we would do, like, handwriting, and it had, like, the wood block that had, like, the three metal things on it. You put the chalk in it and you drag it across.

[Joe Santagato]

That was my.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, bring chalk, chalkboard back. Why are we all like, dude, as someone that has written on a chalk, chalk. As someone that is written on a chalkboard and a whiteboard, I do not see the value in anything other than a chalkboard. Whiteboards are just too clean. Like, school needs to be gritty.

[Prisco]

I think you could upload, like, files and stuff.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, paper. Who cares? I mean, I do. Like, the. Like, is chalk bad? Like, I mean, it definitely took some life.

[Frank Alvarez]

I hope up. I hope up. Do you hope up? I hope not.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I hope up, yo. I hope up. I hope up and down.

[Frank Alvarez]

What happened to me?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I hope. I hope not. Yeah, not up. Look that up. Is. Is. Is board. Are chalkboards bad for you? Fear. Like, just Google that. Listen, I need you to understand something here, my friend, okay?

[Prisco]

Are chalkboards bad for you in your.

[Joe Santagato]

Order.

[Frank Alvarez]

If you eat them, how many.

[Joe Santagato]

Calories is a chalkboard? Why aren't they?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, like, it's not one of the things up there. And don't look at the AI Answer.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, it could be bad for you due to dust.

[Prisco]

It's more the chalk and the dust.

[Frank Alvarez]

So they were just fucking basically waterboarding us with chalk Fumes. They were gassing us with chalk fumes in this building?

[Prisco]

Yeah, the chalk dust.

[Joe Santagato]

That's the dust.

[Prisco]

It's the dust.

[Joe Santagato]

Which makes sense because I would get that chalk in my lungs, and I'm not gonna lie, I can't breathe.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would want to eat chalk, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

Hell, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just like the crunch of it.

[Joe Santagato]

Chalk and sawdust. Two of my favorites.

[Frank Alvarez]

Saw. We should go do a whole episode on the best types of dust. Chalk dust.

[Joe Santagato]

That's such a bad idea.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sawdust.

[Joe Santagato]

Stardust.

[Frank Alvarez]

Stardust. Angel dust.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, that's a good dust.

[Prisco]

Pixie.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pixie dust.

[Joe Santagato]

Pixie dust.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is that a thing?

[Joe Santagato]

That's a good one.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's pixie dust, kid? Pixie.

[Prisco]

I think it makes you fly.

[Joe Santagato]

It does.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you're talking Tinkerbell.

[Joe Santagato]

What about dust bunnies?

[Frank Alvarez]

But that's not a type of dust. That's a type of bunny.

[Joe Santagato]

No, dust bunnies are dust, aren't they?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but it's a collection of dust and a collection.

[Prisco]

You're thinking. You're thinking of slobunnies.

[Joe Santagato]

What's that?

[Frank Alvarez]

What?

[Prisco]

Slobbing these nuts.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, God. I got him. I got him.

[Prisco]

So good.

[Frank Alvarez]

To be fair. To be fair, he said what first. I just followed the what. So he got your slob and E nuts. I'm still not 100. Sure. Oh, slob on these.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I thought it was like a meme thing. Like, slobiny slob on these nuts.

[Prisco]

Got him.

[Frank Alvarez]

You didn't get me.

[Prisco]

Oh, that was good.

[Frank Alvarez]

You did not get me.

[Joe Santagato]

Thank you for that. What are you writing down even right now?

[Prisco]

Now the notes.

[Joe Santagato]

I can only imagine what that pad looks like at the moment.

[Prisco]

I have sucking pipe. Okay, Killing Joe, question mark. MSG recap. Ad. Kid pics, modern books, 90s toys.

[Joe Santagato]

So far it's been a full episode.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's been a great episode, honestly. One of our best.

[Joe Santagato]

It's definitely an interesting one. For sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're gonna get a whole new, like, demographic of people liking our show because we're the 90s pro teachers beating the out of people.

[Joe Santagato]

That's how we get the boomers.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what I'm saying.

[Joe Santagato]

We get the boomers by being like, yeah, teachers should beat kids. And then all of a sudden, we sneak in right after they. They turn it off to being like, hey, obviously you shouldn't be. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Next year we'll do shows, but just at senior living homes. You guys, why do all these kids have poor penmanship?

[Joe Santagato]

Why is Gen Z. They don't have jobs in their game.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, why? Why? Oh, what? They have purple hair now?

[Joe Santagato]

Just like you.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I had purple, purple hair when we were kids. Eisenhower. What? I'm just trying to relate to an older demographic.

[Joe Santagato]

Eisenhower? Dude, I don't know. All right, well, that was fun, I guess, but.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't guess.

[Joe Santagato]

Yes, you're right. It was fun. But anyway, thank you guys for making all the way through this episode. Frank, where can they find you?

[Frank Alvarez]

The Frank Alvarez everywhere, baby. And.

[Prisco]

And Prisco on Instagram.

[Joe Santagato]

He still.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're giving. Joey's giving you an inch of him every week.

[Joe Santagato]

I. You guys can follow me at the Joe Santa. God will go follow the show at the basement yard. And that is all. See you guys next time.

[Frank Alvarez]

Bye, babies. And Doug, here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Joe Santagato]

Uh, Limu? Is that guy with the binoculars watching us? Cut the camera.

[Frank Alvarez]

They see us. Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com.

[Joe Santagato]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Frank Alvarez]

Liberty Savings Ferry Unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.