Podcast Summary: Ben Reacts To Woke TikTok's: Bad Marriage Advice (The Ben Shapiro Show, Dec 6, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this episode, Ben Shapiro breaks down and critiques various viral TikTok videos featuring “woke” perspectives on marriage, monogamy, polygamy, sex work, and gender roles. Through direct playbacks and biting commentary, Shapiro addresses what he sees as cultural misunderstandings and distortions of the institution of marriage, especially as promoted in online spaces. The episode is heavily focused on rebutting the so-called "anti-marriage" talking points popular among social media influencers, providing traditional, data-driven, and often sarcastic counterpoints.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reactions to Anti-Marriage Rhetoric on TikTok

• Ben’s Premise: Shapiro starts by warning listeners that TikTok is rife with “the worst of the worst” when it comes to relationship and marriage advice. He positions himself as the corrective voice to these viral trends.
  • “We are now aware of tiktoks that are talking about marriage. And this can’t be good.” (02:16)

a. Personal Fulfillment vs Sacrifice in Marriage

• Relationship Realist TikToker:
  • Argues monogamy isn’t for everyone and advocates for uncompromising authenticity instead of making sacrifices for one's spouse.
  • [02:27] "I spent so much time lying and trying to be somebody that I wasn't for the sake of somebody else … I could have just been exactly who I am."
• Shapiro’s Response:
  • Sarcastically dismisses the idea that self-sacrifice in marriage is negative.
  • [03:05] "The worst thing in the world would be for you to ... put your desires aside on behalf of another person. That'd be just terrible."
  • Tone: Mocking, highlighting what he sees as selfishness over personal growth.

b. The “Marriage is Bad for Women” Claim

• Feminist Critic TikToker:
  • Claims marriage is oppressive, leaves women with the “short end of the stick,” and asks women to sacrifice career, health, and well-being.
  • [04:32] "In most marriages, women get the short end of the stick … still working at the same time as doing all of that other stuff."
• Shapiro’s Response:
  • Strongly refutes, citing biology and history.
  • [04:32] "The indoctrination of women into the belief that marriage is a patriarchal institution for the betterment of men ... is one of the stupidest things ever conceived. Truly one of the dumbest things ever."
  • Argues marriage is a contract balancing evolutionary drives for societal good.
  • [05:48] "What marriage does is it forces a man to trade his polyamorous instincts in favor of a commitment to build and defend."

2. Discussions on Polygamy and Polyamory

• Polyamory Advocate TikToker:
  • Acknowledges polygamy is more responsibility than pleasure and only feasible for the wealthy.
  • [06:18] "Gotta be well off. It's a rich man sport."
• Shapiro’s Take:
  • Views modern polyamory/polygamy as unserious and unstable, especially in terms of family and child-rearing.
  • [06:22] "Isn't it important for children to know that their father and their mother are the partners in their life … Polygamy is not good people. It does not work."
  • [07:16] "When you read the Bible … every polygamous situation works out horribly."

3. The “Love is Freedom, Not Possession” Trend

• Matrix Critic TikToker:
  • Marriage is described as “Matrix programming,” equating love to freedom rather than obligations or ownership.
  • [07:16] "Marriage is a damn matrix programming … you don't own your partner … nobody is meant to control you."
• Shapiro’s Rebuttal:
  • Counters romanticization of total freedom with the idea that love and mutual obligation are inseparable.
  • [08:18] "Love is commitment. That's what love is … love and duty are reliant on one another. There can be no love without duty, nor should there be duty without love."
  • Cites "Fiddler on the Roof" as a more grounded concept of love built through life and shared experience.

4. Polyamorous Marriage & Child-Rearing

• Polyamorous Spouse TikToker:
  • Illustrates how polyamory allows for extreme interpersonal freedom within marriage.
  • [10:45] "I can say and do and be anything I want to be with my husband and he loves me anyway."
• Shapiro’s Critique:
  • Points out the absence of children in these polyamorous lifestyle discussions.
  • [11:14] "No one ever discusses kids. It's all about the sexual pleasure that you and your partner are having with multiple other partners ..."
  • Questions longevity and seriousness of such arrangements.

5. Marriage as an Oppressive, Outdated Institution

• Marriage Opponent TikToker:
  • Argues marriage is “antiquated” and “oppresses women,” comparing it to sex work as harmful.
  • [11:48] "Marriage is an antiquated idea that I believe oppresses women and ... has a history ... in the oppression of women."
• Shapiro’s Dismissal:
  • Repeatedly, sharply says "No."
  • Refers to marriage as historically protective for women, especially in unsafe societies.
  • [13:01] "It's not true. It's a way to preserve and protect women. That is what marriage was for."

6. Viral Divorce Stats and “Why Men Should Avoid Marriage”

• Skeptical Commentators:
  • Cite inflated divorce rates, unhappy couples staying together, and financial risks for successful men.
  • [13:57] "The up to date divorce rate in America is 56 with 80 being filed by women."
• Shapiro’s Correction:
  • Debunks stat misuse around divorce rates.
  • [14:11] "That is not true. 56% of people getting married do not get divorced … those stats tend to be a little skewed."
  • Advocates for prenuptial agreements to address financial concerns.
  • [15:54] "All that can be solved with a prenuptial agreement."
• On Happiness and Sacrifice:
  • Shapiro rejects the notion that adults should leave “unhappy” marriages for temporary joy.
  • [14:53] "This notion that all of life is about your temporary joy as opposed to building things that actually matter is poison."
  • [16:19] "Married couples are more sexually satisfied than single people. By far. It is not close."
  • He describes his own enduring marriage as an example of how relationships deepen and become more meaningful.

7. Memorable Quotes & Commentary Highlights

• Ben Shapiro, on Marriage's Core:
  • [08:18] "Love is commitment. That's what love is."
  • [14:53] "Sometimes sacrifice on behalf of more important good is where happiness comes from."
• On TikTok Marriage Advice:
  • [17:32] "Anecdotal evidence is not good evidence. And also, why don't you go talk to single men and see how happy they are. ... Single men are not happy. Their stats are awful."
  • [18:14] "Don’t listen to TikTok when it comes to your life advice, because the people on TikTok are idiots. And you know that because they're posting on TikTok generally. Unless it's this TikTok."

Timestamps of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |---------------|-----------------------------------------------------------| | 02:16 | Ben introduces TikTok marriage discourse | | 03:05 | Shapiro critiques self-centered approach to relationships | | 04:32 | Debates on women and marriage "oppression" | | 05:48 | Biology and evolution in marriage contracts | | 06:18 | On polygamy and its pitfalls | | 08:18 | Shapiro: "Love is commitment. That's what love is." | | 10:45 | Polyamory lifestyle TikTok & Shapiro's concern | | 11:48 | Marriage compared to sex work, Shapiro rebuts | | 13:57 | Divorce rates and men’s financial risk arguments | | 14:53 | Sacrifice in marriage vs. personal happiness | | 16:19 | Sex and satisfaction in marriage | | 17:32 | Happiness of single vs. married men | | 18:14 | "Don't listen to TikTok for life advice" |

Notable Quotes (Speaker & Timestamp)

• Ben Shapiro (03:05):
  “The worst thing in the world would be for you to, you know, put your desires aside on behalf of another person. That'd be just terrible.”

• Feminist Critic (04:32):
  “Women are the ones who have to sacrifice their careers, their health, their well-being to take care of their husband and the children.”

• Ben Shapiro (08:18):
  “Love is commitment. That's what love is.”

• Polyamorous Spouse (10:45):
  “I can say and do and be anything I want to be with my husband and he loves me anyway.”

• Ben Shapiro (14:53):
  “This notion that all of life is about your temporary joy as opposed to building things that actually matter is poison.”

• Ben Shapiro (18:14):
  “Don’t listen to TikTok when it comes to your life advice, because the people on TikTok are idiots. And you know that because they're posting on TikTok generally. Unless it's this TikTok.”

Summary Conclusion

In this episode, Ben Shapiro fiercely challenges viral “woke” TikTok trends undermining marriage. He counters arguments about oppression, personal pleasure, and freedom with traditional, duty-based, and even biological perspectives, reinforced by anecdotes from his own marriage and data on relationship satisfaction. Shapiro’s tone oscillates between sarcasm, mockery, seriousness, and earnest personal reflection, driving home his belief that marriage—far from being a tool of patriarchy or an antiquated trap—is actually a time-tested institution that benefits both men and women, particularly when seen as a contract of mutual sacrifice and duty. He ends by urging listeners to disregard TikTok influencers as sources for life guidance, calling out the emptiness and superficiality of the advice he’s critiqued.