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- [00:01]
Commercial Announcer
This episode is brought to you by Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels and music are made for each other. They share a rhythm in the craft of making something timeless while being a part of legendary nights. From backyard jams to sold out arenas, there's a song in every toast. Please drink responsibly. Responsibility.org, jack Daniels and Old no. 7 are registered trademarks. Tennessee Whiskey, 40% alcohol by volume. Jack Daniel Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee.
- [00:26]
Advertiser Voice
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- [00:58]
Podcast Host
At New Balance, we believe if you.
- [01:00]
Advertiser Voice
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- [01:05]
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- [01:10]
Podcast Host
Because when you're not worried about doing things the right way.
- [01:15]
Advertiser Voice
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- [01:18]
Podcast Host
And that's what running is all about. Run your way@newbalance.com Running.
- [01:26]
Emily, do you promise to love Steven in sickness and health for as long as you both shall live? I do. Stephen, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed. With this ring.
- [01:38]
I thee wed.
- [01:42]
Now, Emily.
- [01:46]
With this ring. Let's look at the stats. I've got the facts. My money like Lizzo. My pockets are back, homie. I'm epic. Don't be a wap, dog. It's a yarmul. No cap. Look at the grass. Look at my charts. You're blowing money on strippers and cars. You going to prison. I'm on television, dog. No one knows who you are. Keep hating on me on the Internet. My comment sectional Wolf, Jerry and I make raps on compound interest. Y' all live with your parents. Nikki, take some notes. I just did this for fun. All my people, download this. Let's get a Billboard number one. This ain't rap.
- [02:14]
Skeptical Commentator
The same money, cars and clothes.
- [02:17]
Podcast Host
Alrighty, folks. So we are now aware of tiktoks that are talking about marriage. And this can't be good. And so my producers have delved in and brought me the worst of the worst for me to critique.
- [02:28]
Relationship Realist
I am not on marriage. I am not on anyone who has figured out how to make that thing work for them again. Everything's not for everybody. Monogamy's for you.
- [02:39]
Podcast Host
It's not for me.
- [02:40]
Relationship Realist
I realize this. I know this now. And it's like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I realized I spent so much time lying and trying to be somebody that I wasn't for the sake of somebody else. Complete and utter time wasted. When I could have just been exactly who I am, said exactly what I want, exactly how I'm rocking, exactly how I'm not, and then waited for those people to gravitate to me.
- [03:06]
Podcast Host
Yes. I mean, the worst thing in the world would be for you to, you know, put your desires aside on behalf of another person. That'd be just terrible. To become a better person on behalf of another person, you know, that would have been just absolutely awful. By the way, I mean, interesting jewelry choices, dude. And that's a hat. That's a hat. I mean, like Kevin Costner in Yellowstone or Neo talking about polygamy, who knows? He's not crapping on monogamy, he's just saying that there's nothing wrong with being a complete piece of crap who sleeps with multiple women at the same time. You know, when it comes to him being terrible. Yes. Also, what's up with the wives?
- [03:40]
Skeptical Commentator
What's wrong with you?
- [03:42]
Podcast Host
Can we put a spotlight on the women who agree to demean themselves this way?
- [03:46]
Feminist Critic
I know the TikTok shakes are going to come from my neck, but I don't really believe in marriage. Not in modern day at least, because I would say that the majority of the time it doesn't work out. And even when it doesn't end in divorce, it ends in absolutely hating and resenting each other towards the end of life. The reality is that in most marriages, women get the short end of the stick. Like women are the ones who have to sacrifice their careers, their health, their well being to take care of their husband and the children. And in modern days, a lot of women are still working at the same time as doing all of that other stuff that has always been an obligation for women.
- [04:32]
Podcast Host
By the way, you want to talk about the major. And indoctrination. The indoctrination of women into the belief that marriage is a patriarchal institution for the betterment of men and for the vicious harm of women is one of the stupidest things ever conceived. Truly one of the dumbest things ever. What marriage does is it forces a man to trade his polyamorous instincts in favor of a commitment to build and defend. That's a pretty major sacrifice by men because women are instinctively not built the same way. Biologically speaking. This is just rote biology. Rote evolutionary biology. Men are programmed to have sex with many, many different partners. Women are programmed to have sex with fewer partners because of course, women bear children and that means they have to be a little Bit more careful, historically speaking, until the birth control bill about whom they chose to mate with. And so what tied a man down to the woman such that he would actually defend his offspring and protect her? What would actually do that? That was what the marriage deal was. That's what it was. So it is a series of commitments made by both parties. But the idea that women are happier if they're single, like, I'm just waiting for any data, like one shred of data that demonstrates this is the case, because that is not what the data show at all. What comes with polygamy, from what you've.
- [05:49]
Polyamory Advocate
Seen, the responsibility that comes with polygamy, right, is being the caretaker of two, three households, having to manage three women's multiple finances, fully lifestyle, children. That's a lot of responsibility that I don't think when men talk about polygamy today or any type of poly, they're just thinking about their sexual pleasure. And I don't think that people really understand the whole concept. Like it's deeper than that. You gotta be well off to even subscribe to that lifestyle for it to make sense for you at least.
- [06:18]
Podcast Host
Gotta be well off. It's a rich man sport.
- [06:20]
Polyamory Advocate
Yeah, powerful man sport for sure.
- [06:23]
Podcast Host
This sort of very, shall we call it, a traditionalist view of polygamy in which you are the head of a household and you have multiple wives and they all live on your farm together. I'm going to say that that's not what most people are doing when they engage in quote, unquote polygamy because it's illegal and you will go to jail at some point. Isn't it important for children to know that their father and their mother are the partners in their life and that there are no other partners who are sort of like hanging on to the side? You're going to be our side piece. Polygamy is not good people. It does not work. Historically speaking, polygamy is tribally based. Polygamy is interpersonally vicious. It does not tend to work out particularly well. I mean, when you read the Bible, it's funny, people are always like, oh, there's polygamy in the Bible. Yeah. And it works out horribly. Hey, read the book of Genesis. Every polygamous situation works out horribly in the book of Genesis. Like literally all of them.
- [07:16]
Advertiser Voice
Marriage is a matrix programming. You don't own your partner the way we have known. Marriage is a damn matrix programming. Many people think that marriage equals ownership of someone. And this is exactly why most of humanity suffers. This is why we have so much Toxicity in relationships because majority of people live under illusions. The illusion of control, the illusion of possession, the illusion that people belong to us. So let me break it down to you. You don't own anybody. Not your partner, not your kids, not your friends, not even your husband or wife. Life, every soul belongs to itself. Nobody is your possession, and nobody is meant to control you either. That's Matrix programming. That's patriarchal. You don't own and you're under an illusion. Now, two people can choose to be in a relationship. Beautiful. If it's coming from integrity, love, harmony, amazing. But the second that you think you possess them, you're asleep. And under the illusion of the Matrix. And this is why marriage, the way it's been designed, is part of the Matrix. Because.
- [08:13]
Own you now, and people confuse that with love. But true love is not possession. Love is freedom.
- [08:18]
Podcast Host
Okay? Love is commitment. That's what love is. This idea that love is, is freedom. Well, no, because then you are free to do whatever it is that you want to do at the expense of the other person. When we talk about ownership, okay, it is mutual ownership. That is the idea of marriage. That's why there is a contract in which the parties owe obligations to one another. I know that we want to remove this to sort of the romantic love angle, but the reality is that marriage histor was a contract. It was a contract between two parties who are mutually agreeing to form a relationship with one another in which they, yes, had obligations to one another. Because, again, love and duty are reliant on one another. There can be no love without duty, nor should there be duty without love. Presumably, these are. These are the same thing. This is why probably the best song about love ever written is actually from the musical Fiddler on the Roof, where Golda and Tevye, they have not really discussed marriage in terms of love. Because for the vast majority of human history, by the way, people really didn't think in these terms about marriage. And it's a beautiful song because Golda and Tevye are singing to one another. And Golda finally comes to the conclusion that if you live with someone for 25 years, have children with them, make house for them, build a life with them, then, yeah, that's what love is called. That seems to me a much better version of love than whatever pop song is spilling into your ear. Okay.
- [09:39]
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- [10:46]
Polyamorous Spouse
YT was my polyamorous husband and I say to each other, the monogamous couples wouldn't understand. Part 1 My husband's away on a work trip and today I casually mentioned that no one on my roster is in town either. Literally responded with I'm sorry, your lovers aren't home. And then of course said poly people problems. While some couples are out here arguing over who liked their Instagram photo, Lamore has taught me anything. It is truly that I can say and do and be anything I want to be with my husband and he loves me anyway. Only is he sad that he's gone, but he's also worried that my lovers are gone.
- [11:14]
Podcast Host
So one of the things that you find in all of these videos is that no one ever discusses kids. It's all about the sexual pleasure that you and your partner are having with multiple other partners and all the rest of it. So the question is why you bother having a relationship with that person at all? Really. The purpose again, of marriage is to Build a household together. That is the actual purpose of the thing. Which is deeper than just whatever sexual relations you're having with your various lovers on the side. By the way, I'm going to go with. The time arc on this relationship is not going to be particularly long because if you're 60 and you're still doing this. I have doubts. Let me put it that way. Serious, serious doubts.
- [11:49]
Marriage Opponent
I just really. I really wish women would stop getting married. And there's always a conversation that's being had around, like, SW and how, like SW sets women back and how it feeds into the patriarchy. And just because a woman chooses to participate in it doesn't mean that it's not still harmful and doesn't mean that it's empowering. And that's a whole nother conversation. But if we're going to say that about sw, I think this is my little opinion that's probably going to make you mad. But I feel like the same can be said for a marriage. Marriage is an antiquated idea that I believe oppresses women and in refutable, unrefutably has a history, an origination in the oppression of women.
- [12:33]
Podcast Host
No.
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No.
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Marriage Opponent
We are trying to continue to get something to work that is so, like, so flawed from its inception. And it's not gonna work.
- [12:53]
Podcast Host
Since you did not know the word irrefutably, then I'm probably gonna take your risk. What is sw? Producers. Clue me in.
- [13:02]
Yeah, sw Sex workers. We're using acronyms now. I didn't. I had no idea what that was. Okay, so saying sex workers is bad for society, which is true. Sex work is bad for society. It makes men worse, it demeans women, it devalues sex, it devalues relationships. It is bad. Comparing that to marriage is insane. Meanwhile, the sort of ahistorical notion that marriage is purely a cram down on women, it's a way to harm women. That is just wrong. It's not true. It's a way to preserve and protect women. That is what marriage was for. I know that we now live in a modern society in which women feel incredibly safe, which is great. That's wonderful. I'm glad that we built this civilization. That is a wonderful thing. But historically speaking, and in many parts of the earth right now, women, particularly single women on their own, are not safe. And especially single women with kids are not safe and their kids are not safe. And what marriage does is it clues everyone into the actual higher value. That is what marriage does. It is a protective mechanism for women. It's insane to pretend that it's anything else.
- [13:57]
Skeptical Commentator
These are four reasons why you should reconsider marriage. Let's get it. One, look at the numbers, bro, your family and friends. The up to date divorce rate in America is 56 with 80 being filed by women.
- [14:09]
Podcast Host
And you know.
- [14:12]
So first of all, that is not true. 56% of people getting married do not get divorced and 56% of marriages do not end in divorce. So he's looking at old stats. Number two, when you look at divorce stats, you have to look at how many people who are getting married get divorced, not how many marriages end in divorce. Because people get divorced multiple times. Let's say I get married once, married my whole life to my wife with the help of God. Like that. That's the, that's the plan. Okay, let's say that somebody else gets married five times. What? That means that five out of six marriages end in divorce, okay, but actually they're only like me and this other dudes. That means that actually only one of us is screwing up marriage. So those stats tend to be a little skewed.
- [14:48]
Skeptical Commentator
10 to 15% of couples, right, they stay married unhappily just to keep the family afloat. You know, a secret, a keeper.
- [14:53]
Podcast Host
You know, I have a question. Why is that the biggest problem in the world? Seriously. This notion that all of life is about your temporary joy as opposed to building things that actually matter is poison. It's absolute poison if you have kids and you're unhappy in your marriage. But if your marriage with your partner makes sure that your kids have a stable home, you should stay with your partner. You should, barring physical abuse, barring some sort of tremendously exigent circumstance. You have kids now and kind of this selfish notion that the main goal in life is to find your personal pleasure or happiness. That's actually where true lifelong unhappiness stems from. Sometimes sacrifice on behalf of more important good is where happiness comes from.
- [15:36]
Skeptical Commentator
Business owners, six figures, millions, right? A lot of y' all meet y' all wives after y' all success was already made, right? So guess what? When she divorce your ass, right? Because look at the stats, right? When she divorce your ass, she's walking away with half of your ass assets and money just for having a meow between her legs and looking pretty. She didn't work for this, so she wasn't with you shooting in the gym before your success. Don't marry her.
- [15:55]
Podcast Host
All that can be solved with a prenuptial agreement. I mean that sort of stuff is a real Concern for presumably people who bring a lot of assets to marriage. You can have a prenup. Okay, that, that does exist most likely.
- [16:04]
Skeptical Commentator
In the first three years, Right. The sex is still good. You know, she's doing things for you, things of that nature. Right. But guess what? When you're falling, it feels like you're flying into reality. Hits all that shit slows down eventually in most cases. Again, look at the stats. I ain't making up numbers. Man lie, woman lie. Numbers don't.
- [16:20]
Podcast Host
There is truth to the idea that early relationships do not totally resemble later relationships. That of course is true. If you're lucky, and thank God I'm lucky this way, then you still have a wonderful sex life. And that's true for, I think most married couples. Actually, the statistics show that married couples are more sexually satisfied than single people. By far. It is not close. But if what you're saying is that the beginning of a relationship does not resemble a relationship 20 years in, of course that's true. That doesn't mean that the relationship 20 years in is somehow deficient or bad. It means that it has changed and deepened and broadened and become actually a profound part of your life in a way that, like, I married my wife when I was 24 and she was 20 and we. We didn't know each other nearly the way that we know each other after almost 20 years of marriage and four kids. And I love her a lot more now than I did then because I know all of the situations, I know all the sacrifices we've gone through, I know all the things we've built together. I know our kids, right? Would I sacrifice all of that because I want, you know the feeling that you have like the first time you hold hands. No, that's silly.
- [17:15]
Skeptical Commentator
Not almost every married man I know that been made for 10 plus years. They always tell me, don't do it, bro. You know, jokingly, with a little smirk, a little laugh. But let me tell you something, bro, every joke has the truth behind it. Like a hating off, right? Come on, bro, you got to tighten the up and think with your brain. You know, the head up here and not the head down there.
- [17:33]
Podcast Host
Okay? Anecdotal evidence is not good evidence. And also, why don't you go talk to single men and see how happy they are. They really, really happy. And that ain't what the stats show. We've talked a lot about single women in this particular video. Single men are not happy. Their stats are awful. They have higher rates of suicidality, they have higher rates of poverty. They have higher rates of drug and alcohol abuse. They have higher rates of loneliness. It's as though we exist in a vacuum in which if marriage is not perfect, the alternative is the perfection of singledom. And that isn't true. The alternative is loneliness. The alternative for a huge majority of people is a sense of meaninglessness. Like, yes, you were built to need another human. That is true. And that's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. Alrighty. So, as always, don't listen to Tick Tock when it comes to your life advice, because the people on Tick Tock are idiots. And you know that because they're posting on Tick Tock generally. Unless it's this TikTok.
- [18:34]
Commercial Announcer
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- [18:37]
Podcast Host
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- [19:02]
Commercial Announcer
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