Transcript

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Jeff (1:06)

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Melissa (1:35)

Cap Apply the Bird show all right, Jeff.

Jeff (1:38)

Quote unquote Nicole is on hold and ready to go. Do you want her to tell her story or do you want to tell her story first?

Melissa (1:45)

The short version is this. She is doing something to her husband. She is stealing. She has stolen something that her husband has worked very hard for and she's holding it for ransom. And he doesn't even know. He has no idea that she's the one who stole. She knows it's stolen. He knows it's stolen. But she is confused.

Kelly (2:05)

You said he didn't know.

Melissa (2:07)

No, he knows that it's stolen. He doesn't know that his wife, for better or for worse, the woman who took his hand like a year ago in marriage and said, I will support you and love you forever. She has stolen something that he has worked as ass off for the past year to get.

Kelly (2:24)

Summary

The Bert Show – Episode Summary

Podcast: The Bert Show
Episode: 10: Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, February 10 [Vault]
Date: February 10, 2026

Overview

This episode centers on two primary themes:

A listener’s marital drama involving deception and financial control.
An unsettling but frank discussion about the prevalence of young women and girls experiencing inappropriate advances from older men, particularly during babysitting jobs.

The show features hosts and listeners candidly sharing stories, reactions, and advice, maintaining the show’s signature blend of humor, authenticity, and empathetic debate.

1. Marital Drama: Nicole and the "Stolen" WaveRunners

Timestamps: [01:35]–[17:27]

Key Points & Flow of Discussion

Setup:
- “Nicole” calls in (with voice disguised) to share a secret she’s been keeping from her husband: she has “stolen” his WaveRunners and is holding them for ransom after he was late on the first loan payment.
- The hosts clarify the backstory: Nicole’s husband worked nine months to save half the money for two WaveRunners, financing the rest, as per an agreement between them.
Nicole’s Perspective:
- She expresses frustration that her husband “acted like a little boy” with the purchase and failed to consider her wishes for a cruise.
- Explains her course of action—taking the WaveRunners and lying about bank repossession—was justified to “teach him a lesson” about responsibility.
Hosts' and Listeners’ Challenge:
- The hosts (Kelly, Jeff, Melissa, Stacey) question Nicole’s logic, pointing out her husband honored the agreement fully, and her subsequent actions constitute deception and manipulation.
- Jeff: "He did everything that you guys agree to. Everything." [09:27]
- Multiple listeners call in, universally condemning Nicole’s behavior as manipulative, unfair, and damaging to the relationship.
Nicole’s Defense:
- Insists her “subtext” was clear: her husband should prioritize adult, family-oriented spending, and “pick up on that.”
- Nicole: “Yeah, but there’s a subtext there. He needs to pick up on that.” [09:31]
Memorable Quotes & Moments:
- Kelly: "You need to realize you're not his mother." [10:00]
- Listener Felicity: "For her to even assume that listeners would even remotely agree with this woman is ludicrous." [11:42]
- Nicole’s reluctant admission: "I thought. Yeah, I didn't think that he would." (When asked if she only agreed thinking her husband would never save the money) [13:21]
Conclusion:
- The cast cannot find a single listener in support of Nicole; the consensus is strong that her actions constitute betrayal.
- Jeff, closing: "We could talk to you for the next hour, and nobody would say what you're doing is right." [15:59]

2. Open Phones: Inappropriate Behavior Toward Girls and Babysitters

Timestamps: [18:35]–[32:27]

Context:

Prompted by a prior story about men being jailed after (unknowingly) having sex with underage girls misrepresenting their age, the conversation shifts to the topic of young girls, especially babysitters, being subjected to unwanted advances or outright abuse by older men/fathers.

Hosts’ Discussion:

Stacey: Shares a personal story of being made uncomfortable by a father while babysitting, emphasizing the vulnerable position of young sitters.
Jeff: Observes, "Plus you want the money too. So you're thinking, you know, if I just shut up about it, is it that bad?" [21:43]
The cast agrees these experiences are both far too common and rarely shared openly.

Caller Stories (selected highlights):

[23:24] Sarah: Tells of being hit on by a married man at the gym, then discovering he was the father of her babysitting clients.
[24:27] Charlotte: As a young teen, stopped spending time at a friend's house because her friend's father was "touchy feely."
[25:04] Kristen: Recounts a 40-something dad making inappropriate comments and touching her leg, prompting her to quit babysitting for the family.
[25:58] Tori: Babysat for a family with unruly kids; the father would drive her home drunk and try to hit on her. At 15, she had to drive herself home to feel safer.
[29:05] Stacy’s Caller: Her sister, at age 14, had a two-year affair with a church deacon; the church and family failed to respond appropriately.
[31:02] Carol: Babysat for a family where the 50-year-old father drunkenly crawled into bed with her when she was 13; terrifying her into never babysitting again.

Panel Reactions:

Kelly: Emphasizes that girls in these situations are victims and are often disbelieved or made to feel responsible.
- "Most women, I would be shocked to find one woman in some scenario... hasn't had an adult male be inappropriate to her at some point." [27:15]
Stacey: Notes the “testing” pattern—adults start with comments and escalate as they sense opportunity and lack of resistance, especially given girls’ inexperience and deference to adults.

Tone:

Candid, raw, deeply empathetic, and at times, heavy. The hosts balance seriousness with compassion and a sense of solidarity, especially in affirming that these experiences are not the fault of the young women involved.

Notable Quotes & Moments

Nicole’s Rationalization:
- "There’s a subtext there. He needs to pick up on that." [09:34]
Host Pushback:
- Jeff: "That is not the agreement that the two of you made." [09:52]
Listener Outcry:
- Felicity: "For her to even assume that listeners would even remotely agree with this woman is ludicrous." [11:42]
On Babysitting Dangers:
- Kelly: "Most women, I would be shocked to find one woman... hasn't had an adult male be inappropriate to her at some point." [27:15]
On Patriarchal Excuses:
- Callers: Share shock, anger, and, in many cases, reports of inaction by families, churches, and communities—highlighting cultural failures to protect girls.

Key Takeaways

Nicole’s Story:
- Resonated as a clear violation of trust and partnership; every caller and host found her behavior indefensible, serving as a cautionary tale about manipulation, respect, and communication in relationships.
Babysitting Stories:
- Sparked a groundswell of honest, often harrowing accounts of the dangers many young women face from predatory or inappropriate older men, and the persistent cultural issue of girls being disbelieved or blamed.
Show’s Tone:
- Real, humorous when appropriate, but unafraid to confront serious, sensitive topics head-on, allowing listeners and hosts a space to share, reflect, and be heard.

Timestamps for Reference

Marital Drama/Debate with Nicole: [01:35]–[17:27]
Babysitting/Appropriate Behavior Discussion: [18:35]–[32:27]

The Bert Show once again leverages listener calls, group dynamics, and unfiltered real talk to navigate both the humor and heaviness of daily life, relationships, and growing up.