The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Friday, January 9 [Vault]

Date: January 9, 2026
Podcast: The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)

Main Theme Overview

This lively episode kicks off the new year with the Bert Show cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & co.) bringing listeners into their world of relatable real talk, humor, and honest takes. The two key themes are:

• How Much Are We Spending on Dates These Days? A revealing (and sometimes jaw-dropping) look at the current cost of going out, including all the hidden prep expenses that stack up for men and women both.

• Relationship Privacy: Where’s the Line? A candid discussion, anchored by listener calls, about trust, snooping on partner's messages, and why some people just can’t stop themselves from checking voicemails, emails, and more—even when they know it's wrong.

Throughout, Bert and the crew mix frank listener call-ins with their trademark laughs, personal stories, and spirited debates about modern love and dating.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What Are People Actually Spending on Dates?

- Listener Call-ins: Ranges and Sticker Shock [(01:45–14:58)]

• Bert poses the survey question: What did you spend on a date last weekend? He's shocked by recent data and wants first-hand reporting from listeners.

• Most callers report spending between $25 and $60 for a typical dinner or movie date:

  • Movie + snacks: $25 (Michael, 02:23)
  • Six Flags + dinner: $33 (Kyle, 04:28)
  • Meal and movie: $45 (Rod, 04:54)
  • Stepping up: “Average is anywhere from 55 to maybe 60.” (Rod, 05:11)

• Epic outlier: Greg recounts a huge night out (haircut, mani/pedi, new outfit, multi-venue party) totaling $525! (Greg, 05:38–06:34)

  • “I can’t have no girl look better than me. I’m sorry, I can’t do it.” (Greg, 06:10)
  • His girlfriend, Tanya, joins: "I'm worth it." (Tanya, 07:47)

• Hidden costs: Clothing, beauty treatments, drinks, valet, car detailing, and even parking or bathroom tips are factored into the true price of impressing a date.

- National Survey Statistics & Gender Breakdown [(09:41–11:41)]

• Bert cites a national average: “The average that most people are spending on a date now is $300.” (Bert, 09:45)
• Women reportedly spend $295 (hair, clothes, beauty) before they even go out. Men’s reported average is $310, including prep and the date itself. (Bert & Kristin, 10:30–10:47)
  • “That has got to be a first date average.” (Kristin, 10:52)
• Memorable:
  • “You guys need a raise for sure.” (Bert, 01:45)
  • “Falling in love: priceless.” (Bert, 02:49)

- The Price of a Drink [(12:00–14:58)]

• “Why does a drink in Atlanta cost what it does in New York?” (Bert, 09:12)
• Markups: A bar manager says liquor’s “general 30% markup” (William, 12:09). Another caller counters from CA: “Top shelf is a 300% markup!” (Jenna, 13:24)
• “Don’t you wish everything was negotiable? Now knowing it’s 300% markup…” (Bert, 13:53)
• Social pressure means guys “pay anything” on dates, sometimes at the cost of financial sense.

2. Privacy vs. Trust: Why Are We Checking Our Partner’s Phones?

- Listener Confessions: Snooping Habits & Motivations [(16:47–30:25)]

• Bert reads a confession:
  “I just wanted to know if there’s anyone else besides me who checks her boyfriend’s messages on his cell phone and he doesn’t know it... I do it faithfully, at least five times a day, maybe more if I’m bored.” (Listener email, 17:00)

• Some listeners admit hacking into their boyfriend’s multiple email accounts, checking voicemails, and even creating files of correspondence. (19:13–20:00)

  • “Honey, I am too good I can access all three accounts: Work, Home, and Yahoo.” (Listener, 19:13)

• Why the snooping?

  • Insecurities fueled by past cheating admissions (Carla, 25:44–28:54)
  • Lack of communication and wanting to fill information gaps
  • Some cite “control” or even “addictive excitement”
  • Others say they’re driven by “ego” or a need to prove a partner wrong

• What’s the downside?

  • “I think for some women, it is a matter of control in which they’re not getting communication they want... but if you’re at the point where you’re breaking into someone’s voicemail or email, you’ve got to question yourself—that’s a vicious cycle.” (Kristin, 21:25)
  • “It would be so exhausting to live with that kind of distrust all the time.” (Bert, 21:47)

- Are Relationships Worth Saving If There’s No Trust?

• Callers describe staying in relationships (and planning to marry!) men who cheated or lied repeatedly, rationalizing with “people can change.”
  • “I believe people can change. And hopefully I’m right.” (Peaches, 24:18)
• Others say it’s a trap: “You cannot trust this guy. You do not have trust. But you’re gonna marry him anyway?” (Bert, 24:10)
• “Is it really worth it? There’s millions of people out there.” (Stephanie, 29:47)
• Candid co-host reflection: “You get deeper into it... check it once, then you start to get obsessed about it.” (Kristin, 24:52)

3. Friend-zoned Love: Should You Confess Your Feelings?

- Pete’s Dilemma & Panel Advice [(31:55–51:39)]

• Listener Pete calls in: Best friends with a woman for 5 years, tried dating, didn’t work, has always been in love with her; she doesn’t treat him romantically, he feels like “the shoulder to cry on.” (Pete, 32:06–34:23)

• Pete asks: Should I finally confess my feelings?

• Co-hosts discuss:

  • Is he being manipulated or taken advantage of? (“Doormat” theory)
  • Is friendship even possible once one person is in love?
  • Should you risk the friendship for a shot at something more?
  • Kristin: “You have to be honest and tell her. …If you’re at the point where you can’t be just a friend, you have to walk away.” (Kristin, 40:16)
  • Bert: “If you can’t go back to being friends... when the timing is right, just go for it. The relationship is over anyway.” (Bert, 43:42)

• Caller stories: Some warn “don’t do it!” (Kenya, 40:34); others share happily-ever-after tales (Jennifer, 47:22).

• Humorous moments:

  • “What you should do… form a collage of a giant picture of her head… have her accidentally discover that in your house. And then if it doesn’t work out, then you kill her.” (Bert, 50:51—jokingly referencing romcom tropes)
  • “Every time he hugs her, he’s thinking about going in for the kiss but he doesn’t. …Can you see the painful embrace, like she’s giving him, like, just a hug goodnight and he’s smelling her hair?” (Kristin & Bert, 47:04)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

The Cost of Dating

• Greg (Caller):
  “I spent like, $60 on my manicure and pedicure alone… The grand total was roughly $525.” (06:34)
• Tanya (Caller):
  "I'm worth it." (07:47)
• Bert:
  "You guys need a raise for sure." (01:45) "Falling in love: priceless." (02:49)

On Trust & Snooping

• Anonymous Listener:
  “I do trust him, right? … I’m just nosy.” (17:00)
• Kristin:
  “If you’re at the point where you’re breaking into someone’s voicemail... you’ve got to question yourself. That’s not — that’s such a vicious cycle.” (21:25)
• Stephanie (Caller):
  “It just completely disgusts me that women don’t have enough self-confidence in themselves to just say, is it really worth it? There’s millions of people out there.” (29:47)

On the Friend Zone

• Kristin:
  "He looks at you differently. He treats you differently, he talks to you differently. There is a look, a look in his eye that we know, and she knows it." (43:14)
• Bert:
  “Every minute that he is with her, there’s the chance that that could be the night that they make out.” (46:14) “He hears, ‘Hey, can we go to the library? … Maybe you can touch my boobs.’” (46:31, referencing romantic hopefulness)
• Kristin:
  “You have to be honest and tell her ... It’s not a true friendship. There’s not a balance there.” (40:16)

Noteworthy Segments (with Approximate Timestamps)

• Average cost of a date—listener call-ins: 01:45–09:45
• Extreme date spending confession: 05:38–07:54
• National dating cost stats & gender breakdown: 09:41–11:41
• Drink markup discussion: 12:00–14:58
• Snooping segment—listeners share habits: 16:47–30:25
• Pete’s friend-zone dilemma and audience debate: 31:55–51:39

Tone & Style

The Bert Show maintains a mix of irreverent humor, direct personal honesty, and empathetic listening. The hosts aren’t afraid to poke fun at themselves or their callers but always create space for emotional nuance and let listeners steer the conversation with real stories. Authenticity, relatability, and comic timing run throughout.

Summary Usefulness:
This detailed recap provides all the surprising statistics, the humor and vulnerability of both hosts and callers, and the realities of modern dating, relationships, and self-worth dilemmas. You’ll get the episode’s core emotional beats even if you missed all 60+ minutes, from the price of cocktails to the price of trust.