Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, November 25

Summary

The Bert Show: Full Show PT 1 – Tuesday, November 25, 2025

Main Theme

This episode of The Bert Show dives into a real-life twin-swap dating dilemma, centering on a caller, Amanda, who considers stepping in for her twin sister on a first date with the sister’s interested coworker. The cast unpacks the ethical, emotional, and comedic sides of the situation, invites listener opinions, and rounds out the morning with a heartwarming segment about quirky family holiday gift-giving traditions. The tone is playful, curious, and honest, with the hosts balancing empathy, jokes, and lively debate.

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Segment 1: The Twin Swap Dating Dilemma

[01:02 – 23:59]

Key Discussion Points

• Amanda’s Scenario:

  • Amanda’s twin has a boyfriend of a year but is also interested in a new coworker.
  • The boyfriend is away with family for Thanksgiving; the coworker asks the twin out during this time.
  • Amanda considers going out with the coworker, pretending to be her sister, since they’re identical twins.

• Initial Reactions:

  • Hosts react with disbelief and amusement.
  • Ethical concerns are immediately raised.
  • Amanda admits the plan is “just for fun” and something they've never done before.

• Logistics and Risks:

  • Amanda and the panel discuss the likelihood of work conversations tripping her up.
  • They propose strategies for avoiding workplace discussions, e.g., “Let’s not talk about work” as a date rule.
  • The group speculates about possible fallout: what if Amanda falls for the guy? What if physical intimacy happens?

• Moral Debate:

  • The cast and callers hotly debate: is this cheating by the twin with the boyfriend? Is it just funny or genuinely wrong?
  • Amanda claims it’s not, arguing the boyfriend isn’t being physically betrayed.
  • Several hosts and listeners disagree, citing deception and emotional involvement as crossing a line.
  • Notable exchange:
    • Show Panelist 2 (08:47): “If a twin goes on a date with a guy in place of a woman who is involved, is the woman who’s involved technically cheating?”
    • Show Host (Birch) (09:06): “Yes. Yes, because…she knows the portrayal of her...and she’s not doing anything about it.”
  • Listeners join in, with Andrea calling the situation “so cheating”…“because she, the girlfriend, knows her sister is going out with this guy” ([12:10]).

• Risks, Consequences & Comedy:

  • Panelists riff on increasingly ridiculous scenarios:
    • Amanda embarrassing her sister at work by getting wasted
    • The twins’ possible “different kissing styles” confusing the coworker
    • “Try to get pregnant and come back with a child” as a comic exaggeration ([13:20])
  • They agree one date is mischievous, but doing it more than once “starts to get weird.”
  • Amanda shares she had fun, but was nervous. She admits the guy is a “really good kisser,” but maintains the boundaries were clear ([20:28]).

• Resolution Attempts:

  • Amanda reveals her sister is unsure about continuing; she might have to “pinch hit” again for a second date.
  • The group urges caution, with Panelist 3 saying, “She’s got to come clean and be the twin. She can’t go on the first two dates with this guy” ([21:56]).
  • Amanda says, “your twin comes first” and she wouldn’t jeopardize their relationship for a guy, even if tempted ([25:29]).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On boundaries:
  • Show Host (Birch) [05:57]: “On a first date, a guy is so eager that you could set any limitation you want…”
• On the absurdity:
  • Show Host (Birch) [12:40]: “This is such a ridiculous scenario. I love it.”
• On the experience:
  • Caller Amanda [19:03]: “I went out with him…It worked. I didn’t…I told him the rules and it completely worked.”
  • Caller Amanda [19:33]: “We didn’t talk about work…Except at the very end…he kissed me in the parking lot. Like, he leaned in to kiss and then we wound up making out for, like a minute.”
• On aftermath:
  • Show Host (Birch) [20:03]: “So she’s going into work today, and so is he, and he thinks he made out with her on Friday.”
  • Caller Amanda [20:28]: “He was a really good kisser…but as far as I’m concerned, he’s for my sister.”

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:02 – 14:07: Twin-swap dating dilemma, ethics, and planning the ruse.
• 16:27 – 25:06: Amanda’s update after the date; listener/host reactions and further dilemma discussion.
• 20:28: Amanda discusses the kiss and her feelings about the coworker.
• 21:56 – 23:40: Should Amanda go on a second date for her sister?

---

Segment 2: Quirky Family Gift Traditions

[25:06 – 34:21]

Key Discussion Points

• Bert’s Story:

  • Bert describes his wife’s aunt sending her $5 for Christmas every year since childhood ([26:38]).
  • The cast shares similar traditions — $10 bills, cash increments matching a child’s age, gifts tapering off but tradition enduring.

• Listeners Chime In:

  • Danielle: $5 and socks every Christmas — “everyone could use an extra pair of socks” ([28:39]).
  • Another caller: Aunt Marie, 89, gives $5 with an eccentric flair (gold lamé pants and martinis) ([29:17]).
  • Emily: Grandmother gives $5 for birthdays, even as family has expanded ([30:09]).
  • Jennifer: Receives a silver dollar taped to a card — “have to chisel it off because she’s a tape fanatic” ([30:50]).
  • Amanda’s fiancé’s grandmother gives McDonald's gift cards for occasions ([33:19]).

• Panel’s Reflections:

  • The sentimental value and symbolism are universally appreciated.
  • Panelists note older relatives' reliable penmanship, punctuality, and careful saving of crisp bills for gifts.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Show Host (Birch) [26:38]: “Is that commonplace?”
  • Show Panelist 1: “That’s cute.”
• Show Panelist 3 [27:31]: “It’s the sentimentality of the whole thing.”
• Show Host (Birch) [29:06]: “I mean, really, there’s wisdom in that [the socks].”
• Show Host (Birch) [31:11]: “You ever notice how grandparents are never late either? I mean, that thing is gonna be there on time. They are never, ever, ever late.”

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 25:06 – 34:21: Family holiday gifting traditions; listener stories; cast’s sentimental and humorous observations.

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

• Playful, warm, and inclusive: The show effortlessly shifts from comedic takes on outrageous dating scenarios to the relatable comfort of family traditions.
• Ethics vs. Entertainment: The twin predicament blends genuine moral debate with the show’s trademark wit, generating both laughs and thought-provoking moments.
• Relatable nostalgia: The family gifts segment spotlights the quirks and warmth of family customs, inviting listeners to celebrate the small, silly things that bind us together.

---

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is quintessential “Bert Show”: funny, real, and rooted in genuine curiosity about human (and family) quirks. If you’ve ever wondered about hypothetical dating disasters, debated what counts as cheating, or found comfort in your own family’s oddball traditions, this episode is a must-listen. The cast’s banter and listener call-ins keep things lively yet honest, striking a balance that leaves you thoughtful—and probably texting your sibling or grandma.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Birch]

The Birch Show Good morning, Amanda. You are on the Birch show and you are on the voice disguiser.

[Amanda]

Hi.

[Birch]

Hi. How are you?

[Amanda]

Good. How are you doing?

[Birch]

Okay. You are not the twin with the boyfriend. You are the twin sister.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Birch]

Okay. I don't even know where to start.

[Amanda]

Well, I mean, it's mine. Yeah. But my sister has been. She's been going out with this guy for about a year. She's going off with her boyfriend for about a year, and she's going home to his family for Thanksgiving and they live in Charlotte, so she won't be here for Thanksgiving. And just I guess recently she's this guy at work that she's been. She's been kind of, you know, she really likes. And, you know, she's not really sure what she's. What she's gonna do, what she's. She's, you know, she's been talking to this guy and she really, you know, she likes him. And he finally asked her out. Buddy asked her out over the Thanksgiving holiday.

[Melissa]

Okay, so to go on a date. Not to go.

[Amanda]

No, to go on a date. Like to go like the day after.

[Birch]

All right, so one sister being involved with a guy for a year would be at Thanksgiving dinner with a family, while the other. This would obviously be you. You would be out with the new co worker.

[Various Callers]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

And the new co worker one is like a first date. So there aren't a lot of, like, it's not like you have to do some big studying up thing, right?

[Amanda]

No, no. And, you know, and, and she has already agreed to go out with him because she just got like fostered in front of him. And when he asked her out, she said yes. And, and, you know, he asked her for Friday and she's never going to be here.

[Birch]

So now how long has she been working with this guy? Because if it's been any amount of time at all or they've had any.

[Amanda]

He works in the field and G. Works in the office.

[Commercial Announcer]

Okay.

[Amanda]

So they were, you know, they know each other. They've been working together, you know, for, like, I guess I think it's been a while. But I don't think that they, you know, know each other, you know, that well. But he doesn't know that she has a boyfriend, so why are you so.

[Birch]

Eager to help her out? I mean, she's. I mean, this obviously isn't the right thing to do. She's in a committed relationship.

[Amanda]

When she. When she told me that, during that, I said that I should do it because I just. I didn't think it would be funny.

[Melissa]

Entertainment.

[Amanda]

Well, I mean, we never. We've never did something like this.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Amanda]

I always thought it would be just hilarious to do.

[Jeff]

And now this is your chance because you're obviously available here in Atlanta to take out guy number two. And she can. And then you could report back to her as a sister, you know, the objective outsider point of view. Man, this is a great guy.

[Birch]

He.

[Jeff]

He held the door open for me. You. And he would insist that he wouldn't even let me buy him a, you know, a thank you dessert for me slash you after the meal.

[Melissa]

Right. Now, have you gone through in your mind what you're gonna do when work conversations come up? Because you're gonna either have to brush up on.

[Birch]

Well, that's easy. That's easy. That's an easy one to take care of.

[Commercial Announcer]

Just.

[Melissa]

I don't wanna talk about work.

[Birch]

Yeah, look, when I'm outside of work, I just don't really like to talk about it. Can we talk about something else?

[Amanda]

Cause that's my sister's problem.

[Jen]

That's what she's worried about, is the work conversation.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I think you should jack with her. I think you should. I think you should go out with him on Friday and then spend the entire time telling him that historically, on the second date, you become the biggest sex freak ever in history, man. All kinds of stuff. And then make up random things like, say, you know, whatever food your sister hates. Be like. You know what my favorite. The most romantic thing a guy ever said did to me was he sent me three pounds of calamari. I love calamari. Like, if that. If she hates it, just jack with her.

[Birch]

So you've suggested I'll go out on the date, but your sister's not so hot on the idea.

[Amanda]

Actually, she kind of. She was kind of going for it for a while. She's kind of sold on it a little bit. Like, you know, she doesn't know what to do about, you know, going on with him because she really wants to, you know, follow him. And she doesn't know how to, like, back out of it without really. Without seeming like she's not interested. And so she's kind of. She's sort of on the fence about it. Like, I'd say she's about 20% into doing it. I just want to figure out how I can convince her to do it.

[Birch]

How to push her over the edge a little bit. Because you really want to do this.

[Melissa]

I know. I think you do need to get the work 101 from her, because even if you're not talking about, like, the actual projects they work on at work, there will be people. References that will come up about, you know, Bob in accounting or, you know, Greg that works two cubicles over from her. And, you know, like, there will definitely be work references that'll come up. And if he'll be like, oh, yeah, you know, like Greg's family and that a crazy story.

[Birch]

You're going to be like, yeah, you see this? Here's the deal is that on a first date, a guy is so eager that you could set any limitation you want on a first date. So she could immediately go in the car and she can go, look, I just want to set this one parameter right off the bat. No references to work whatsoever. Okay? Let's just try to make sure this thing has legs without us doing the easy thing and talking about work and a guy because he we're so eager to please and be accepted on that first date. Buy it like that.

[Melissa]

You don't think he'll bring up anybody at all?

[Birch]

Because she can go anytime during the day. That's the rule.

[Jeff]

That's true.

[Birch]

I mean, this is cake.

[Melissa]

That might help your sister be into it.

[Jen]

Now, you said she's only 20% into it. Is that what you said?

[Amanda]

Yeah, she's like. She was kind of, you know, she was kind of going for it, but.

[Jen]

Then she was like, is there any other reservation besides the work conversation?

[Amanda]

I also think that she's afraid, you know, I mean, she's just afraid that if she, you know, that she's just afraid that I'm gonna screw it up sometimes, somehow.

[Birch]

Well, there are some potential potholes, for sure. Let me put you on hold for a second.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Birch]

And this might not have been a situation you were thinking about, but Hoss won't put our caller on hold, so I will just tell you that Wendy says that what if. Need the voice Disguiser back on.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Birch]

What if you start. What if you fall for the guy?

[Jen]

Oh, yeah.

[Birch]

I mean, what if you guys have some amazing chemistry because you've already taken the office out of the scenario and you guys have to talk about real things, and before you know it, you're falling for this guy. You can do nothing about it? Zero.

[Amanda]

I don't know.

[Jeff]

I mean, that's funny.

[Amanda]

I don't know. I doubt that would have happened. I wouldn't do that to my sister, though.

[Birch]

There's a possibility.

[Jeff]

But if you.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I mean, I would never do that.

[Jeff]

Do you have. Are you seeing anyone?

[Amanda]

No.

[Jen]

Okay, so she's. Tell me about this other guy.

[Amanda]

Oh, yeah. She's been dating him for about a year, and I. You know, she's. I think, like, in the last, you know, couple of months, like, you know, she's. She really does. She loves. She loves him and she's been with them for a long time, but she just. Maybe, you know, maybe this guy. I think the guy at work is sort of like, you know, kind of getting her to realize that the guy that she's with isn't. He's not that great.

[Jen]

All right.

[Birch]

Okay. So it's more than a flirtation.

[Various Callers]

Yeah.

[Birch]

This thing is getting. It's getting to the point where they're. They're. They're gonna make a decision.

[Amanda]

I think. So.

[Jeff]

Now, here's a. Here's the. I wish we had that girl who was on her way to philosophy class on with us yesterday, because here's a pretty deep question.

[Birch]

Hey, I'm pretty good at philosophy. Let me help you out. Okay.

[Jen]

Failed it. How many times?

[Birch]

Three times. Logic. Three times.

[Jeff]

Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, the Dao of Bert. All right, if a twin goes on a date with a guy in place of a woman who is involved, is the woman who involved technically cheating?

[Birch]

Yes. Yes, because she is portrayed. She knows the portrayal of her, but she's not. Is happening, and she's not doing anything about it. So technically, you are your sister.

[Jeff]

So what is she doing? My question is, what acts that take place that evening would constitute cheating?

[Melissa]

Just going on the date.

[Jeff]

Why. Why is that cheating? Because the sister, the twin Tweedledee, is gonna be up in Charlotte with the boyfriend. Right?

[Melissa]

Right.

[Jeff]

So she's not. No matter what happens, if you get a kiss at the end of the date, the involved sister didn't kiss. I know a person playing the role of the involved sister that's like. Is an actress who has. Did. Who was the actress who had that love. See, with Billy Bob Thorne, Was it Halle Berry?

[Birch]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Okay, so she had that hot. If either of them were involved, were they cheating as they were acting?

[Birch]

No, because the assumption is in acting, you know, it's somebody that is playing the part of somebody, whereas here you think it's the actual person he doesn't know.

[Jen]

I want to know. Going on what Jeff just said. Are you gonna kiss the guy at the end of the night?

[Amanda]

I mean, maybe. I mean, that's part. That's part of what I think is gonna be fun, is gonna be going on a date with someone you don't even really care what happened. Like, I won't care whether or not it goes well, or, like I won't care if he likes me or. That's the fun part about it.

[Jeff]

You should do all sorts of crazy things. Let him go up your shirt and stuff. Like, before the appetizer even gets to the table.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

What if she did? What if she slept with him on the first date?

[Birch]

Would you ever tell your sister if you slept with this dude? Would you ever tell him?

[Amanda]

Oh, my. I would never. I would never sleep with him.

[Melissa]

What if he's, like, the hottest guy you've ever seen ever, and you don't ever have to claim it because it's not you?

[Jeff]

I think you should. Yeah. You should do all sorts of crazy things, like. And imagine the stories that'll go around the office. Oh, my God. You won't get. She didn't even let me get into the restaurant. She just said, let's just do it in the car. I'm doing it in strange places.

[Jen]

I think everything they just said is why your sister's only 20% too.

[Amanda]

I was gonna help her.

[Birch]

Amanda, hold on one second. I don't need the voice discussor. Hey, Rob. Go ahead.

[Amanda]

Hey, it's. Yeah. It's cheating right from the beginning.

[Jeff]

How?

[Amanda]

It's deceitful. You're purposely and willfully deceit. Absolutely. That's totally cheating.

[Birch]

Totally. Totally.

[Jeff]

But it's funny, right? How is it cheating? Like, the woman who is involved in a relationship is not doing anything wrong.

[Birch]

But it's assumed that person.

[Amanda]

Yes, she is. She knows about it and she's a playing partner in it.

[Jeff]

So what?

[Amanda]

Absolutely.

[Jeff]

She's not cheating. She's not emotion getting emotionally involved. She's not getting physically involved. She's not sharing intimate secrets. I don't think it's cheating.

[Birch]

It totally is.

[Melissa]

It wouldn't be cheating if she told this guy at work, hey, I know you want to take me out, but I'm Involved. Why don't you take out my sister? You know what I mean?

[Birch]

Like, because he's assuming he's going out with her.

[Commercial Announcer]

Thing to do.

[Birch]

Hey, Andrea. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Various Callers]

Good morning.

[Commercial Announcer]

Good morning.

[Various Callers]

I love your show.

[Birch]

Thank you.

[Various Callers]

So do we, all the time.

[Birch]

Yeah. There are times where I really love it, too, and right now is one of them.

[Jeff]

Yeah. We love our show and we love our listeners.

[Various Callers]

I have to say, this is so cheating. It is cheating.

[Amanda]

No, it's not.

[Various Callers]

It is cheating. I'm gonna tell you why. Because she, the girlfriend, knows that her sister is going out with this guy.

[Jeff]

Yes.

[Various Callers]

And her feelings are involved with that. With her boyfriend.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Various Callers]

She's got feelings with this. With this man, and she's getting her sister to portray her. He's betraying this guy.

[Birch]

This is such a ridiculous scenario. I love it.

[Various Callers]

It is. It's crazy. I've never heard anything like it. And as a sister, I don't have any sisters, but if I was the sister, there's no way I go for this.

[Birch]

I know. We gotta figure out a way to talk her into it.

[Jen]

Send that 20% up to 100%.

[Jeff]

The sister is obviously nervous because she thinks that, like, she's nervous, number one, because she likes the guy. But what if the sister falls for him? I think that's probably what she's nervous about. 2. It's just a weird. But there is no harm that could come from this.

[Birch]

That's not true. Plenty could come.

[Melissa]

What if she got wasted drunk, and then all of a sudden, around the office, the sister is known as the wasted drunk.

[Birch]

Yeah. If she embarrasses her sister, I think.

[Jeff]

She should try to get pregnant. I think she should try to get pregnant and then just have the sister show up, like, 10 months later with an infant at work. What do you mean? You didn't know?

[Amanda]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff]

Or she should come in as the sister to work, like, in 10 months and just start nursing the child in front of the guy and go. Well, I'm gonna go.

[Amanda]

Please.

[Jeff]

Yes, sir.

[Birch]

Or, my hope is that he has a twin brother and his twin is going out with Amanda's twin.

[Commercial Announcer]

Aha.

[Birch]

There's a cruel twist of fate. All right, so, Amanda, right now, we don't have anybody calling up that's really giving you solid advice on how to get your sister to do this. But we. I gotta be honest with you. I sure hope it happens.

[Jeff]

The Birch show.

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[Melissa]

Whoa.

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[Birch]

Wow.

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[Birch]

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[Birch]

All right, so Amanda, we got to get back to her. How do you. How do you end up being two places at the same time?

[Jen]

It's easy when you have an identical twin.

[Birch]

Now Amanda's sister is the One that has a boyfriend that she's been seeing for about a year, but now she's also interested in one of her co workers. So she told us this story last week and that we thought, there's no way that she's going to be able to pull this off. Good morning, Amanda. You are on the Burt show and you are on the Voice Disguiser.

[Amanda]

My sister has been. She's been going out with this guy for about a year. She's going out with her boyfriend for about a year, and she's going home to his family for Thanksgiving, and they live in Charlotte, so she won't be here for Thanksgiving. And just, I guess recently she's this guy at work that she's been. He likes them, and. And he finally asked her out, but he asked her out over the Thanksgiving holiday.

[Birch]

All right, so one sister being involved with a guy for a year would be at Thanksgiving dinner with a family, while the other. This would obviously be you. You would be out with the new co worker.

[Various Callers]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

And the new coworker one is like a first date, so there aren't a lot of. Like, it's not like you have to do some big studying up thing, right?

[Amanda]

No. And, you know, and. And she has already agreed to go out with him because she just got, like, fostered in front of him. And when he asked her out, she said yes.

[Jeff]

And.

[Amanda]

And, you know, he asked her for Friday, and she's never gonna be here.

[Birch]

So why are you so eager to help her out? I mean, she's. I mean, this obviously isn't the right thing to do. She's in a committed relationship.

[Amanda]

When she. When she told me that story, I said that I should do it because I just. I just think it would be funny.

[Birch]

So the last time we talked to her, she had talked her sister into doing it. So this was gonna happen this weekend.

[Amanda]

Voice Disguiser, please.

[Birch]

Ready to go, Amanda.

[Amanda]

Hi.

[Jeff]

Hey.

[Birch]

How are you?

[Jeff]

Good.

[Amanda]

How are you?

[Birch]

Good. Hold on one second. Okay.

[Jeff]

Is that on?

[Birch]

Yeah.

[Commercial Announcer]

No.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Birch]

Sounds sort of like it did last week. You guys wanna make predictions on what happened this weekend before we talk to her and find out?

[Melissa]

She likes him and she's ticked that she pretended to be the sister.

[Jen]

Yeah. Something in her voice is not right. So something didn't happen. Right. Maybe they didn't go out at all. Maybe it didn't. It fell through.

[Jeff]

I'm with Melissa. I think the sister canceled it.

[Birch]

And I was gonna go with Jen. That. That's why I asked the question last week. Like, do you guys have. You Know the same flavor in guys. Because I had a feeling this was gonna happen also. Amanda. All right, so what happened over the weekend?

[Amanda]

I went out with him.

[Birch]

You did go out?

[Amanda]

Yeah, and it worked. Like, he. I didn't.

[Melissa]

We.

[Amanda]

I told him the rules and it completely worked.

[Birch]

I know that.

[Amanda]

We didn't talk about work. We didn't. We only talked about my family and stuff. And, you know, which was easy because I know her whole, you know. You know, I know her whole life, so it was fine. Except. Except at the very end, uh.

[Commercial Announcer]

Oh.

[Jen]

What?

[Amanda]

Well, I had told him that we were not gonna kiss or anything like that, but at the very end, he kissed me in the parking lot. Like, he leaned in to kiss and then we wound up making out for, like a minute.

[Birch]

Hey, you earned it.

[Melissa]

Have you told your sister about that part?

[Amanda]

Yes, I had to.

[Birch]

What'd she say?

[Amanda]

She was a little mad at first, but, I mean, what was I supposed to do? I didn't know what to do.

[Melissa]

So she's going into work today, and so is he, and he thinks he made out with her on Friday.

[Jeff]

That's awesome.

[Melissa]

So she has to pretend like they've already hooked up?

[Amanda]

Yeah. I mean, yeah.

[Jen]

Now, did that change anything for you? For him? Like, did you like him more now or are you just doing it because it was. Just want the situation, you know?

[Amanda]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know what else to do. But, I mean, he's a really good kisser. It wasn't hard work at all.

[Birch]

Now, what's going to be funny is if she ends up kissing him. I mean, two twins can have two totally different styles in kissing.

[Melissa]

Sure.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Birch]

This guy's going to be like, she's kind of. She freaky. She can mix it up.

[Melissa]

Do you guys have the same size boobs? Did he touch your boobs?

[Birch]

No, it was 60 seconds.

[Amanda]

Oh.

[Jeff]

Well, she said not everybody moves as fast as you do, Bobby.

[Melissa]

She said they made out in the parking lot. I didn't know how long she said it was for.

[Birch]

60 seconds.

[Melissa]

Oh, I didn't hear that. I thought they made out in the parking lot for, like, a while.

[Birch]

Hate to grab and run, but I gotta do what I gotta do.

[Jeff]

Save that.

[Birch]

So she's going into work today, and, I mean, there's a good chance, like, this guy corners her in, like, a closet or whatever today because he's already made out with her.

[Amanda]

I don't know. I also made a date with him for Thursday.

[Jeff]

For your sister, though?

[Amanda]

Well, yeah. I mean, yeah, for her.

[Jen]

What happened with your Sister and her boyfriend. Weren't they about to break up?

[Amanda]

No. Well, I mean, they're going to, but they didn't on this weekend.

[Birch]

Okay.

[Amanda]

She doesn't know what to do about.

[Jen]

That, so she's going on a date on Thursday with this co worker.

[Amanda]

I guess she has to.

[Birch]

So if she can't make it, you have to pinch hit again on Thursday.

[Jen]

Oh, gosh, no, you can't.

[Melissa]

She wants.

[Birch]

Why? Because if she starts, like, jacking with this guy, then all of a sudden it compromises work.

[Jen]

Well, no, I. Well, she's got to come clean and be the twin. She can't go out the first two dates with this guy. More's gonna happen.

[Jeff]

One date is fun. Two dates is starting to get weird. Like, by the third date, they could end up naked and stuff. And then it's all sorts of like. Then it's like, did that mole move?

[Birch]

Did you tell her she has to go out with him on Thursday night?

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Birch]

Does she already have plans with her boyfriend?

[Amanda]

I don't know, but she wasn't very thrilled about that show.

[Jeff]

Ain't gonna work, though. Especially if you tell her what a good kisser he is.

[Melissa]

I want to talk to her after she has to go to work.

[Birch]

I know, right?

[Melissa]

I think that's gotta be so uncomfortable.

[Birch]

So are you stepping out of this thing now, or. If she comes back to you and says, look, I don't want to mess this up, will you go out with them on Thursday? Would you. Would you go?

[Amanda]

I don't know. It was really fun, but I was so nervous the whole time.

[Jen]

I bet you were.

[Jeff]

Yeah. She can't. She can't do it because, like, the. The sister will never allow a second date to happen. Because if they made out when that wasn't supposed to happen on the first one, then it becomes like, it's going to be so odd being around somebody who thinks they made out with you.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Birch]

And the rule. The rule thing. Because the only pitfall we saw in this was that if they started talking about work, Amanda here would have no idea what he was talking about. So she immediately had to go into the date and say, look, absolutely no talking about work. You can do that on the first date. The second date, then it starts to get a little weird. You can only do that for so long.

[Jeff]

See, now the rule on the second date has to be no talking about what we talked about on the first date. Okay? Now here's the rule. All we can talk about is work.

[Birch]

All right, Amanda. Maybe we'll check back with you guys, on Thursday morning to find out what the situation is, if your sister's gonna go out with this guy or she's gonna ask you to go out with him again.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Birch]

All right, we'll talk to you later.

[Melissa]

I want to know if. Are you interested in him for yourself? Like, if their sister was out of the picture, you go on the date with this guy, would it be something that you would be into?

[Amanda]

I mean, he was a great kisser, but I don't know. I mean, it's just. I don't know if I could ever, you know, have to tell him what we did.

[Jeff]

But maybe you never have to, because maybe you could go out with him, or your sister could go out with him Thursday, and let's say she doesn't hit it off with him. Then she could say, look, I want to introduce you to my twin sister.

[Birch]

That's right.

[Jeff]

And then set you up with him. And he would have no idea.

[Melissa]

Good idea.

[Birch]

That's great.

[Jeff]

Thanks.

[Birch]

You understand what Jeff is trying to say?

[Amanda]

Yeah. If she wasn't interested in him, I would totally go out with him.

[Birch]

So this could work out again very, very well. So what you need to do is make sure that your sister is. Stays with her boyfriend and is happy so you can go out with dude the night after the Thursday date.

[Amanda]

Oh, my gosh. I don't know.

[Birch]

Oh, no. That gets complicated.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Because. Yeah. I mean, does your. Is your sister really like this guy, you think?

[Amanda]

I think she does. I don't think she would have let me do this if she didn't.

[Melissa]

But he might be the one kind of. I mean, as we discussed, she's kind of cheating on her boyfriend.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

So I think you should have first right of refusal.

[Trusted House Sitters Advertiser]

Oh, my God.

[Melissa]

He might be your soulmate. Oh, my God.

[Birch]

Was there seriously, like, any kind of chemistry between the two of you guys?

[Amanda]

I mean, I really. I mean, I really liked. I really thought he was really nice. I thought he was super sweet, and he was a really good kisser, but other than that, like, he's. As far as I'm concerned, he's like. He's for my sister.

[Jen]

Your twin comes first.

[Amanda]

She says she doesn't like them that much.

[Melissa]

But the twin has a boyfriend.

[Amanda]

I know, but she likes this guy.

[Jen]

Don't ruin the relationship with the twin over the guys. Come on.

[Jeff]

I'm so confused right now. The Birch Show.

[Birch]

This seems. Doesn't even seem odd to me, but because I come from a family that isn't, like, healthy like your families, that anytime I see anything that happens on Stacy's side of the family. I'm always a little bit curious as to if this happens in healthy families or is this just a typically Stacy side of the family type thing? And I have noticed, and she's even brought it up to me also, that Stacy has an aunt that every year since Stacy was, like, born, has given Stacy $5 for Christmas. Every single Christmas. And the Christmas card came yesterday. And this is a grown woman. I mean, the family is doing pretty well for each other. She's 36 years old now, and. And this aunt has given the $5 in the Christmas card every single year.

[Melissa]

That's cute.

[Birch]

Is that commonplace?

[Amanda]

So cute.

[Birch]

Yeah, that is commonplace.

[Jeff]

I had a grandmother who sent me like 10 bucks or something, like every year for Christmas or my birthday. I don't remember which one. Maybe both. But it was just like, you know, first of all, when she was a child, $10 was a week's pay. So that was huge.

[Various Callers]

And.

[Jeff]

And then when I was like 6, 10 bucks was a big deal to a 6 year old. I mean, you know, you could buy a lot of now and laters with 6 bucks or 10 bucks, you know what I'm saying? And then I became 10, and 10 bucks is still kind of a big deal. And then I got to be 15, and then 10 bucks doesn't really go into the new car fund that make that big of a dent, but whatever. And then by the time I'm 18, doesn't really fill the gas tank once. And then when I'm 25, it's almost like. But you're not even gonna say anything because it's just something that she's been doing since you were four.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Birch]

It's the sentimentality of the whole thing.

[Melissa]

Oh, absolutely.

[Birch]

Like Hoss was telling us, it's funny how these traditions kind of translate through your entire life, because Hoss, who's not in the studio this morning, but every Christmas he has to go get his picture taken with Santa for his grandparents.

[Melissa]

Oh, that's right. And he's 24 and his brother's 21, and they still have to go do it.

[Birch]

I mean, they don't even. The grandparents, I don't think even demand it. It's just kind of like it's part of tradition. So even though he's technically an adult now, still holds the same tradition.

[Melissa]

My birthday was in October, and yet again, my now 90 year old grandmother mailed me ten $1 bills. Yeah. Every year. And it happened like I got a dollar when I was, you know, $2 when I was 2, $3 when I was 3, 4, 5, 6, and it just stayed at 10.

[Birch]

I think the same thing happened with Stacy on her birthday because the same aunt used to do that for her birthday, too, and it tapped out at 10. Yeah, but she still gets the 10 bucks.

[Melissa]

But they're always 10 $1 bills just so I don't spend it all in the same place.

[Jen]

Right.

[Melissa]

So cute.

[Jeff]

So you take it all, the tattletales and tip ten different answers.

[Amanda]

Hell, yeah.

[Birch]

Hey, Danielle, you're on Q100.

[Various Callers]

Hi, I was just calling it.

[Commercial Announcer]

Great.

[Various Callers]

I have an Aunt Connie, and every year it gives me $5 on a pair of socks. I'm 25. My brother's 30. We get it every year. And I'm engaged now. And last Christmas, my fiance got a pair of socks and $5, too.

[Melissa]

Awesome family.

[Various Callers]

So now she's extending the warmth. Yes.

[Birch]

What is the significance of the socks?

[Various Callers]

I don't know. She just says everyone could use an extra pair of socks. That's the logic.

[Trusted House Sitters Advertiser]

So true.

[Birch]

I mean, really, there's wisdom in that.

[Melissa]

You can't argue.

[Birch]

Good morning, Chris, you're on Q100. Good morning, yellow.

[Various Callers]

Hello.

[Birch]

Hello.

[Various Callers]

How are y'?

[Amanda]

All?

[Birch]

Good, thank you.

[Various Callers]

Yeah. I have an aunt Marie. She's 89 years old. I am now 33. Every year for my birthday and for Christmas, she sends me my $5. The same woman. Like I said, she's almost 90 years old. Now. She will come to Christmas dinner wearing gold Lemay pants and a pink shiny shirt with about 4 inch pumps on. She drinks what she knows as her bombs, which are gin martinis. And I thought I just lived in a very eccentric family, that we had this nut Aunt Marie, who always gave us five bucks. But apparently I'm not alone.

[Birch]

No. The phone lines are lit up with people that have to go through the same tradition every single year. And $5 seems to be just about the common denominator. Hey, Emily, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Jen]

Hi.

[Various Callers]

Hey. Longtime listener, first time caller.

[Jeff]

Thank you.

[Various Callers]

I have an aunt, sorry, a grandmother that gives me $5 every birthday. And my husband's great grandmother gives out $5 for birthdays and. And usually, like, her son has to chase us with a checkbook afterwards because she thinks that's a lot of money still, right?

[Birch]

Yeah. Well, back in the day, I mean, five bucks was that.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Birch]

A hell of a lot of money.

[Jen]

And if she's giving that to every grandchild or every great grandchild, I mean, it's not just you that you're get. You know who's getting the five bucks. So she's divvying out however much, taking.

[Birch]

The Social Security check.

[Jen]

She's all, leave her alone.

[Birch]

Hey, Jennifer, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Various Callers]

Good morning. Every birthday, I get a silver dollar taped to a card.

[Jeff]

Oh, now that's cool.

[Various Callers]

You have to, like. I mean, like, get a chisel to get this tape off. Because she's like a tape fanatic.

[Commercial Announcer]

Right?

[Jeff]

Do you save all of them?

[Various Callers]

No, usually they're in my daughter's piggy bank. Because my daughter actually gets cash for her birthday.

[Birch]

How much is she getting?

[Various Callers]

She gets anywhere between five to fifteen dollars a birthday. Just whatever I guess my grandma has in her wallet. She just puts out all of it in her card, and I get the silver dollar tape.

[Birch]

You ever notice how grandparents are never late either? I mean, that thing is gonna be there on time. They are never, ever, ever late.

[Jen]

Oh, that's rude. It's rude to be late and to forget birthdays. Well, they're old.

[Jeff]

What else do they have going on? Everything's just a countdown to the next occasion.

[Birch]

You gotta fill out that Publisher's Clearinghouse thing.

[Jeff]

Right, but that's the occasion that's. They wore that.

[Jen]

Always been that way, though. Yeah, that generation's always been that way. They're the ones that still in their house somewhere, have the. Whatever you call the little desk that pulls out so that they can write their letters. Yeah, I mean, yeah, they've always been that way.

[Birch]

Probably took the ca from underneath the mattress to put it in the car, too.

[Melissa]

And if you notice that grandparents always have much better penmanship than the grandparents or our generation. Like, they all write very well.

[Birch]

When's the last time you actually wrote an entire letter?

[Jeff]

Not a card.

[Birch]

It's hard to look at an entire letter.

[Jeff]

My handwriting is worse now than it was when I was in. Probably high school. Cause I think it was in college when I started using word processors for everything. And then eventually computers and laptops, whatever. But, you know, you had to handwrite everything in school. And I had great handwriting that. Now I.

[Jen]

And I always feel more pressure if I'm gonna write, you know, if. If I address anything to an older relative, I feel more pressure to have better handwriting.

[Melissa]

I don't think I can even remember all the letters in cursive.

[Birch]

I know. You know, what I'm doing these days is like, I go half printing, half cursive.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Birch]

It's like, you know, like people that, you know, that speak two different Languages, when they're really mad, they break into the other language. That's how my writing is now. It's half all capitals and the other half is all cursive.

[Jeff]

You know what I'm saying?

[Melissa]

It's really weird if you wrote Spanglish half capitals and half cursive.

[Jeff]

You know what else grandparents do that's neat is they will never send you an old beat up $all Chris. Like they'll save. They'll find like if they get a brand new bill has changed. Like they set that aside and said, this will be good for Jennifer's birthday.

[Jen]

Before that was taped together though, talking about the tape, you know, like that one that maybe they accidentally ripped. You know, for some reason, my grandmother.

[Jeff]

Would have walked that into the bank and said, I've got some damaged currency. Think I'm supposed to turn this in with you and then get a new one.

[Birch]

Hey, Michael, you're on Q100.

[Amanda]

Hey, guys. I just want to let you guys know I have something better than money.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Amanda]

My fiance's grandmother sends gift cards to McDonald's every single occasion.

[Commercial Announcer]

Cute.

[Birch]

How much?

[Amanda]

Usually it's five to ten dollars, depending on which kid she's sending it to. But she sends it all in bulk to my fiance's mother or my mother in law, I guess, and she disperses them out to all the kids. It's four different kids.

[Birch]

That's awesome. And $10 at McDonald's goes a long way.

[Amanda]

Yeah, it does. Especially. Thanks. I have a 4 year old as well, so that's always great for him. He gets a lot of happy meals.

[Birch]

Awesome.

[Jeff]

See, that would actually be a cool present to get as an adult.

[Birch]

Mickey D's.

[Jeff]

Right? Like if you got a McDonald's. McDonald's gift certificates. Cause when do you think about, you know, like, I never think about going to McDonald's. Like, it's like I'm gonna go to McDonald's. Like, I never make an occasion of going to a fast food restaurant. It's always something like, oh, I'm starving. Let me swing through here and get a fries and a coke, you know what I mean? But like, if I had gift certificates.

[Birch]

It would be there all the time.

[Jeff]

It'd be an occasion.

[Melissa]

Well, whoever's got Jeff and secret Santa.

[Birch]

Now we know the Birch show.

[Commercial Announcer]

Oh, hey.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant]

Welcome to gift wrapping.

[Jeff]

Whoa.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant]

So is Saldana.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant 2]

Hey, can you wrap these, please?

[Birch]

Wow.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant]

IPhone 17s.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant 2]

You splurged at T Mobile. You can get four iPhone 17s on them. The new center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. It's the perfect gift for everyone.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant]

I'm the worst. I only got my mom a robe.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant 2]

Well, it's better than socks.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant]

So I have to trade in my old phone, right?

[Gift Wrapping Assistant 2]

No at T Mobile there's no trade ins needed when you switch. Keep your old phone or give it as a gift.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant]

Incredible.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant 2]

In fact, wrap up my old phone too for my aunt Rosa. Forget that. Aunt Liz will be jealous.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant]

Sounds like my family drama.

[Birch]

Oh, I got it.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant 2]

I'll give it to my abuela. I'll take reindeer paper with hey where are you going?

[Jeff]

To T Mobile.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant]

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[Birch]

Contact us.

[Gift Wrapping Assistant]

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