Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, November 25 - The Bert Show

Transcript

Commercial Announcer (0:00)

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Birch (1:02)

The Birch Show Good morning, Amanda. You are on the Birch show and you are on the voice disguiser.

Amanda (1:08)

Hi.

Birch (1:09)

Hi. How are you?

Amanda (1:10)

Good. How are you doing?

Birch (1:11)

Okay. You are not the twin with the boyfriend. You are the twin sister.

Amanda (1:19)

Yeah.

Birch (1:20)

Okay. I don't even know where to start.

Amanda (1:25)

Well, I mean, it's mine. Yeah. But my sister has been. She's been going out with this guy for about a year. She's going off with her boyfriend for about a year, and she's going home to his family for Thanksgiving and they live in Charlotte, so she won't be here for Thanksgiving. And just I guess recently she's this guy at work that she's been. She's been kind of, you know, she really likes. And, you know, she's not really sure what she's. What she's gonna do, what she's. She's, you know, she's been talking to this guy and she really, you know, she likes him. And he finally asked her out. Buddy asked her out over the Thanksgiving holiday.

Melissa (2:10)

Okay, so to go on a date. Not to go.

Amanda (2:13)

No, to go on a date. Like to go like the day after.

Birch (2:18)

All right, so one sister being involved with a guy for a year would be at Thanksgiving dinner with a family, while the other. This would obviously be you. You would be out with the new co worker.

Various Callers (2:33)

Summary

The Bert Show: Full Show PT 1 – Tuesday, November 25, 2025

Main Theme

This episode of The Bert Show dives into a real-life twin-swap dating dilemma, centering on a caller, Amanda, who considers stepping in for her twin sister on a first date with the sister’s interested coworker. The cast unpacks the ethical, emotional, and comedic sides of the situation, invites listener opinions, and rounds out the morning with a heartwarming segment about quirky family holiday gift-giving traditions. The tone is playful, curious, and honest, with the hosts balancing empathy, jokes, and lively debate.

Segment 1: The Twin Swap Dating Dilemma

[01:02 – 23:59]

Key Discussion Points

Amanda’s Scenario:
- Amanda’s twin has a boyfriend of a year but is also interested in a new coworker.
- The boyfriend is away with family for Thanksgiving; the coworker asks the twin out during this time.
- Amanda considers going out with the coworker, pretending to be her sister, since they’re identical twins.
Initial Reactions:
- Hosts react with disbelief and amusement.
- Ethical concerns are immediately raised.
- Amanda admits the plan is “just for fun” and something they've never done before.
Logistics and Risks:
- Amanda and the panel discuss the likelihood of work conversations tripping her up.
- They propose strategies for avoiding workplace discussions, e.g., “Let’s not talk about work” as a date rule.
- The group speculates about possible fallout: what if Amanda falls for the guy? What if physical intimacy happens?
Moral Debate:
- The cast and callers hotly debate: is this cheating by the twin with the boyfriend? Is it just funny or genuinely wrong?
- Amanda claims it’s not, arguing the boyfriend isn’t being physically betrayed.
- Several hosts and listeners disagree, citing deception and emotional involvement as crossing a line.
- Notable exchange:
  - Show Panelist 2 (08:47): “If a twin goes on a date with a guy in place of a woman who is involved, is the woman who’s involved technically cheating?”
  - Show Host (Birch) (09:06): “Yes. Yes, because…she knows the portrayal of her...and she’s not doing anything about it.”
- Listeners join in, with Andrea calling the situation “so cheating”…“because she, the girlfriend, knows her sister is going out with this guy” ([12:10]).
Risks, Consequences & Comedy:
- Panelists riff on increasingly ridiculous scenarios:
  - Amanda embarrassing her sister at work by getting wasted
  - The twins’ possible “different kissing styles” confusing the coworker
  - “Try to get pregnant and come back with a child” as a comic exaggeration ([13:20])
- They agree one date is mischievous, but doing it more than once “starts to get weird.”
- Amanda shares she had fun, but was nervous. She admits the guy is a “really good kisser,” but maintains the boundaries were clear ([20:28]).
Resolution Attempts:
- Amanda reveals her sister is unsure about continuing; she might have to “pinch hit” again for a second date.
- The group urges caution, with Panelist 3 saying, “She’s got to come clean and be the twin. She can’t go on the first two dates with this guy” ([21:56]).
- Amanda says, “your twin comes first” and she wouldn’t jeopardize their relationship for a guy, even if tempted ([25:29]).

Notable Quotes & Moments

On boundaries:
- Show Host (Birch) [05:57]: “On a first date, a guy is so eager that you could set any limitation you want…”
On the absurdity:
- Show Host (Birch) [12:40]: “This is such a ridiculous scenario. I love it.”
On the experience:
- Caller Amanda [19:03]: “I went out with him…It worked. I didn’t…I told him the rules and it completely worked.”
- Caller Amanda [19:33]: “We didn’t talk about work…Except at the very end…he kissed me in the parking lot. Like, he leaned in to kiss and then we wound up making out for, like a minute.”
On aftermath:
- Show Host (Birch) [20:03]: “So she’s going into work today, and so is he, and he thinks he made out with her on Friday.”
- Caller Amanda [20:28]: “He was a really good kisser…but as far as I’m concerned, he’s for my sister.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

01:02 – 14:07: Twin-swap dating dilemma, ethics, and planning the ruse.
16:27 – 25:06: Amanda’s update after the date; listener/host reactions and further dilemma discussion.
20:28: Amanda discusses the kiss and her feelings about the coworker.
21:56 – 23:40: Should Amanda go on a second date for her sister?

Segment 2: Quirky Family Gift Traditions

[25:06 – 34:21]

Key Discussion Points

Bert’s Story:
- Bert describes his wife’s aunt sending her $5 for Christmas every year since childhood ([26:38]).
- The cast shares similar traditions — $10 bills, cash increments matching a child’s age, gifts tapering off but tradition enduring.
Listeners Chime In:
- Danielle: $5 and socks every Christmas — “everyone could use an extra pair of socks” ([28:39]).
- Another caller: Aunt Marie, 89, gives $5 with an eccentric flair (gold lamé pants and martinis) ([29:17]).
- Emily: Grandmother gives $5 for birthdays, even as family has expanded ([30:09]).
- Jennifer: Receives a silver dollar taped to a card — “have to chisel it off because she’s a tape fanatic” ([30:50]).
- Amanda’s fiancé’s grandmother gives McDonald's gift cards for occasions ([33:19]).
Panel’s Reflections:
- The sentimental value and symbolism are universally appreciated.
- Panelists note older relatives' reliable penmanship, punctuality, and careful saving of crisp bills for gifts.

Notable Quotes & Moments

Show Host (Birch) [26:38]: “Is that commonplace?”
- Show Panelist 1: “That’s cute.”
Show Panelist 3 [27:31]: “It’s the sentimentality of the whole thing.”
Show Host (Birch) [29:06]: “I mean, really, there’s wisdom in that [the socks].”
Show Host (Birch) [31:11]: “You ever notice how grandparents are never late either? I mean, that thing is gonna be there on time. They are never, ever, ever late.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

25:06 – 34:21: Family holiday gifting traditions; listener stories; cast’s sentimental and humorous observations.

Overall Tone & Takeaways

Playful, warm, and inclusive: The show effortlessly shifts from comedic takes on outrageous dating scenarios to the relatable comfort of family traditions.
Ethics vs. Entertainment: The twin predicament blends genuine moral debate with the show’s trademark wit, generating both laughs and thought-provoking moments.
Relatable nostalgia: The family gifts segment spotlights the quirks and warmth of family customs, inviting listeners to celebrate the small, silly things that bind us together.

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is quintessential “Bert Show”: funny, real, and rooted in genuine curiosity about human (and family) quirks. If you’ve ever wondered about hypothetical dating disasters, debated what counts as cheating, or found comfort in your own family’s oddball traditions, this episode is a must-listen. The cast’s banter and listener call-ins keep things lively yet honest, striking a balance that leaves you thoughtful—and probably texting your sibling or grandma.