Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, April 8 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, April 8 [Vault]

Date: April 8, 2026
Hosts & Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Brittany, Melissa Carter, Jen, Tracy, and others
Episode Theme:
A lively and at times heated dive into the realities and perceptions of working mothers, gender roles at home and in the workplace, evolving family expectations, and personal stories of complicated parental relationships. The cast and listeners share authentic opinions about what parenthood "should" look like, the guilt that working parents—especially mothers—face, and the shifting cultural landscape of parenting and partnership.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Motherhood Penalty and Workplace Discrimination

[02:02]

• Bert opens the discussion highlighting research that shows a significant pay gap—not just between men and women but particularly between mothers and women without children.
• Study cited: Mothers are 100% less likely to be hired than childless women, are ranked as less competent/committed, and offered on average $11,000 less in salary.
• Bert: "Mothers were consistently ranked as less competent and less committed than non moms." [02:17]

Heated Listener Opinions:

• Alicia (caller) expresses an extreme, traditional view: "I don't think women that have kids should be working at all." [02:38]
• Criticizes working moms for putting children in daycare, and says women's dedication "should be" to their children.
• Responds harshly when challenged about single mothers: "Well, then you should have been more careful." [04:09]

Cast Reactions:

• Brittany: "I think it's disgusting." [02:44]
• Melissa Carter laughs at Alicia’s arguments: "That's hilarious." [03:04]
• Jen: Challenges the logic with follow-up questions and points out nuances (single parenting, loss, divorce).

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2. Internal Struggles of Working Mothers

[05:02]

• Tracy, who is expecting, opens up about feeling guilty and wondering if she's "less of a mother" for not staying at home.
• Bert empathizes, recalling his wife’s pain over the same dilemma.
• Melissa Carter discusses fear of losing personal identity to motherhood:
  "My fear of being a mother is I lose my identity ... I don't want to have to trade off being Melissa Carter to being so and so's mother." [05:59]

Gendered Guilt & Double Standards:

• Tracy: "Is a man going to feel that way? Has a man ever thought to himself, like, am I less of a dad because I have a job?" [05:50]
• Bert: Generally, no, men do not face the same type of guilt.
• Melissa Carter: "...it's unfair that women have to go through that mental process and men don't ... they can have everything. They can have their identity, their job, a higher salary and kids. And a woman doesn't have that as easily." [06:27]

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3. Changing Gender Roles and Co-Parenting

[06:49]

• Jen: Acknowledges generational change; first era with reproductive freedom affecting women’s choices.
• Predicts co-parenting will become the norm, shifting future "battles" to shared roles among parents.

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4. The Realities of Dual-Income Households

[07:40]

• Ty (caller) offers a practical take: "For most families that have children, they're finding it. Both members of the families have to work just to make ends meet."
• Notes that if extras are wanted, it’s usually to benefit the kids.
• Emphasizes actual economic necessity, not luxury, as the reason most parents work.
• Describes balancing family work roles: "One job is more important to keep than the other one is ... So that parent winds up doing more of the 'parenting'—PTA meetings, picking up kids, etc." [09:03]

Is It Honorable If Dad Is the Main Caregiver?

• Jen asks male cast if stay-at-home dads are respected ("Is that an honorable thing...?") [10:17]
• Most say yes, though there's some joking about teasing.
• Tracy is honest about her own discomfort if her husband took primary caregiving: "I think that would make me feel even worse ... it already bothers me." [10:53]

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5. Listener Calls & Broader Perspectives

[12:41]

• Chris (caller, voice disguised): Both he and his wife work; admits guilt never disappears, and extreme opinions like Alicia’s aren’t helpful.
• Suggests “if you can have a parent in the home, you should,” but acknowledges reality is more complex.

Responding to Criticism:

• Melissa Carter & Jen: Defend their right to comment as women navigating professional choices, even if not mothers.
• Melissa: "But it's also true that from your perspective as a man, you don't understand where we're coming from as women ... that's where our comments stem from." [13:52]

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6. Small Town Bar “Affair-for-Hire” Story

[17:11]

• Radio recounts a wild story from a lakeside bar: A local regular wants to pay someone to have an affair with his wife so she would be "at fault" for their breakup, thus saving face in their close-knit, judgmental town.
• Plan involves paying someone $125/week to woo his wife until an affair can be established.
• Burt: "This is the equivalent ... of making it so difficult for the woman ... she ends up breaking up with you ... he's too much of a coward to start the divorce." [20:54]
• The cast is a mix of shocked, amused, and horrified by the elaborate ruse.

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7. Second-Chance Family Dates & Dating Gamesmanship

[24:53]

• Ty shares success after canceling a date due to work and discovering the rescheduling unexpectedly piqued the woman's interest.
• Jen: "Her friend ... means they were talking about it." [26:44]
• Lesson: A little unavailability can sometimes help in the dating world.

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8. Brittany’s Complicated Relationship with Her Mother

[31:05]

• Brittany describes growing up raised by her grandparents and struggles with her emotionally distant biological mother.
• Visits lead to repeated patterns of discomfort and emotional distance. Despite feeling unwelcome, Brittany has matured enough to detach emotionally and accept her mother’s limitations.
• Burt: Empathizes, discussing “lowering the bar” for parents, and when it becomes unhealthy to accept their hurtful behavior.
• Brittany: "I think my mom ... I've just gotten to the point where I'm like, I accept anything you're gonna do at this point and you can't. Whatever." [36:53]
• Jen: Praises Brittany's mature perspective: "You're the grown up and she's the child." [37:39]
• The group reflects on the sadness of parental relationships that never fully mature but also on the power of boundaries and acceptance.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Alicia (Caller): "I don't think women that have kids should be working at all." [02:38]
• Melissa Carter: "My fear of being a mother is I lose my identity ... and women have to have, have to make that choice." [05:59]
• Ty (Caller): "For most families that have children, they're finding it. Both members of the families have to work just to make ends meet." [07:47]
• Tracy: "For me, there has been times where I wonder if there's something, if I'm less of a mother because I'm choosing not to be at home." [05:04]
• Brittany: "I've learned to deal with her a lot better. That's basically what I learned from this visit is that I personally have grown up a lot, even if she hasn't." [32:08]
• Jen (to Brittany): "You're the grown up and she's the child." [37:39]
• Burt: "It's not acceptable anymore. Ye, like just 'cause they're your parents, it's just not acceptable for them to hurt you." [36:53]

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Segment Timestamps

• [02:02]—Motherhood penalty and Alicia’s extreme views
• [05:02]—Tracy’s reflecting on working mom guilt
• [06:49]—Jen on generational shifts in gender roles
• [07:40]—Ty calls in about income realities and flexible roles
• [10:17]—Do men get respect for being stay-at-home dads?
• [12:41]—Voice disguised “Chris” on mutual work guilt & progress
• [17:11]—Radio’s lakeside bar story: hiring someone to have an affair
• [24:53]—Ty’s successful date and the power of rescheduling
• [31:05]—Brittany’s honest recounting of visiting her distant mom

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Tone & Style

The tone is frank, open, sometimes raw—oscillating between fiery debate and supportive empathy. The cast balances genuine humor and real, difficult feelings, delivering authenticity and relatability for listeners grappling with similar familial, career, or parenthood dilemmas.

---

This episode is a must-listen for anyone curious about the evolving meaning of family, modern challenges for mothers, and the messiness at the heart of both workplace and personal relationships.

Transcript

[Burt]

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[Burt]

pay gap between mothers and childless women that we've been talking about. It's actually bigger than the pay gap between women and men. We also found out this morning that researchers found that the mother was 100% less likely to be hired when she applied for a position against a childless peer. Mothers were consistently ranked as less competent and less committed than non moms. And when they were offered a gig, $11,000 a year less is what they got offered than the woman that didn't have kids. Alicia says this is all stupid anyway because mom shouldn't be working. Hey, Alicia. Good morning.

[Alicia]

Yeah, this is not gonna win me any friends with the feminist movement, but I don't think women that have kids should be working at all.

[Brittany]

I think it's disgusting.

[Alicia]

It's disgusting when people have kids and at six weeks old, they put them in daycare for strangers to raise them. Why should men be forced to change their roles? That evolution has created for thousands of years as protector and provider so that women can have it all.

[Melissa Carter]

That's hilarious.

[Alicia]

Excuse me?

[Melissa Carter]

I said that's hilarious.

[Alicia]

Well, you know, that's just how I feel. I've seen women. I have seen co workers have to leave suddenly in the middle of important deadlines because their kid is sick. I'm not getting extra time off work because my dog has to go to the vet. You know what? Pay attention to your child, because that is where your dedication should be.

[Jen]

Do you have children?

[Radio]

What if it was a. I'm sorry,

[Burt]

do you have children?

[Alicia]

No, I don't. I chose not to have children.

[Radio]

What if it was a family situation where. Let's say. Let's use Tracy and Scott as an example, and let's say Tracy, they had an agreement that Scott would stay home with the kids, but Tracy would work 9 to 5 and have a regular office job. Is that okay?

[Alicia]

Yes. If there's a parent in the home with the child, I think that's fine. But when everybody wants work so they can have a nicer car or better house and have some. And have their poor child being raised by strangers, and then they wonder when the kids in a. When the kid's older and a teenager who is his child.

[Tracy]

But what if you're a single mother?

[Brittany]

Well, then you should have been more careful.

[Melissa Carter]

You should have been more careful.

[Burt]

Seriously.

[Melissa Carter]

Wow.

[Radio]

You should have been more careful about what?

[Alicia]

Not having a kid.

[Tracy]

Then what if you're not finding a widow?

[Radio]

No, not the widow. But what if your husband left you?

[Alicia]

Well, actually, I am a widow. Unfortunately, I didn't have children before he died.

[Radio]

But what if, like, what if your husband left you and you're a mom and you. I mean, is there. Are there any exceptions to the rule?

[Alicia]

Well, you can go to court and take care of things that way, but

[Burt]

I mean, there's absolutely, there is absolutely no circumstance where there shouldn't be one of the parents in the home with the child.

[Alicia]

No, there are always, there are always going to be circumstances where you don't have to, you, where you can't have one parent in the, in the, in the home. But I'm saying when women have a choice to get pregnant or to have a career, I think they should choose the child over the career.

[Burt]

Tracy, what do you got? I mean, you're about to have a child.

[Tracy]

I mean, I don't agree with her, obviously, because I'm choosing to have a career, too. But I will be completely honest and say I don't think. I mean, for me, there has been times where I wonder if there's something, if I'm less of a mother because I'm choosing not to be at home. I mean, I'm going to choose to work and I mean financially, I have to continue working and career wise, I think I'd be bored if I stayed home all the time. But then it's like you read all these mommy blogs about, like, you know, all the things, the playgroups that they do and all the things that they're doing with their kids during the day, and you do wonder, like, am I less of a mom because of that

[Burt]

boy, did Stacy struggle with that? She struggled with that thought because she thought that she was going to work when we had Hayden also. And she, she had tremendous feelings of guilt about going to work and having Hayden in daycare or whatever.

[Tracy]

But it goes along with the same argument. I mean, I don't think a man, I mean, is a man going to feel that way? Has a man ever thought to himself, like, am I less of a dad because I have a job?

[Burt]

I'm sure there are some, but as a general rule, no.

[Melissa Carter]

And, you know, and women have to have, have to make that choice. I mean, on the other end of what Tracy said, I mean, Katie and I have had this conversation. My fear of being a mother is I lose my identity. Like, I don't, you know, the fact that I'm considering being a mother is one thing, but I don't want to have to trade off being Melissa Carter to being so and so's mother. In all honesty, I'm, I just, I have a hard time with that and

[Radio]

heaping that stress on top of the stress you're already feeling for the digital transition.

[Melissa Carter]

I'm telling you, I mean, I've only got a couple days, but anyway, so I do, I think for Women. I think it's unfair that women have to go through that mental process and men don't, because men don't have to lose their identity, lose their job. They can have everything. They can have their identity, their job, a higher salary and kids. And a woman doesn't have that as easily.

[Burt]

It's another conversation for another time. I don't entirely agree with that.

[Jen]

And I think it's changing over time. I mean, if you think about it, and we've talked about this on the air before, like, I mean, most of the homes that we grew up in were very traditional gender roles still. My parents are very traditional gender roles, their grandparents. I mean, this is really the first generation of women that has always grown up with the potential of birth control, with the potential of not having to have children.

[Radio]

Hear that, Tracy? Birth control.

[Jen]

But you know what I'm saying. I mean, I think that it. We can, we can expect change, but it's not going to happen overnight. And it's not going to happen just in one or two generations of people to completely change the mentalities about all of it, but it is changing. I don't think that we're stuck in the 1950s anymore, but I also think in 50 years from now, it's gonna be a whole lot different. I think there's gonna be a lot more co parenting. And that's where I think the battle is gonna be between men and women with children and men and women without in the workplace.

[Burt]

Here's Ty and he says we're missing the point entirely. Go ahead, ty, you're on Q100.

[Ty]

Hey, how's it going, Burcho?

[Burt]

Thanks for calling, man.

[Ty]

I appreciate it. Yeah, I mean, honestly. And I'm gonna digress a little bit because I heard one of the other women that came on that did not have any children, you know, kind of looking down her nose a little bit at those of us that do, you know, and her, I definitely think she was missing the point, thinking that people were working, you know, dual income families just so that they could have nicer cars and things of that nature. She's clueless. I think that for most families that have children, they're finding it. Both members of the families have to work just to make ends meet. And also believe that, you know, if you're wanting things extra, usually it's for the kids. You want them to be able to play sports, you want them to be able to, you know, go to a nicer school, you know, that type of thing. And I definitely don't see a problem with that. But my original point was that goes back to the fact that that generally speaking, men are making more money than women are for the same job. And a lot of this role can get reversed within families, and I've actually seen it happen. But for the most part, with both couples working together, they actually have to figure out which member of the family is a making more money, who has the insurance, Is there a specific job that requires travel and base the decision basically making like a disposable job. One job is more important to keep than the other one is. So that parent winds up doing more of the I'm going to the PTA meetings or, you know, picking the kids up from school and having to leave work early and that type of thing, going to the doctor's appointments. You know, with myself and my wife, we actually have a little bit more of a comparable income. So we kind of both do those things. But like I said, I've seen the roles reversed. Where it was actually the woman was really the sole bread winner in the family, and even though the husband worked, he was the one actually having to take off and do most of the stuff just because her job was. It was more important to the family for her to keep her job.

[Burt]

All right, Ty, hold on one sec. For us, got to get to other costs. I think it's a general rule, though. It's the woman that's gonna. She's running out.

[Jen]

Question for the guys in the room.

[Ty]

Yes.

[Jen]

Is that an honorable thing for a guy to do? What's in your mind if he's the one? Like, say you guys have a married friend's married couple, got a kid, wife makes more money, guy picks up the slack and does more of the parenting. Is that an honorable thing to you, or do you look down on him?

[Radio]

Honorable. I think it's honorable.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Radio]

I would think it's cool. I would make fun of him, but I would think it's cool.

[Tracy]

They would.

[Ty]

Like.

[Radio]

I would call Mr. Mom and stuff.

[Tracy]

If I were being honest, though, if Scott didn't work from home, like, if his job physically was not at the house and he was the stay at home father and I was working, I don't think I'd like it.

[Burt]

Really?

[Radio]

Why?

[Tracy]

Because I think that would make me feel even worse. Like I was. I'm not. Let me say, for the record, I don't think my feelings are correct. I'm just saying that this is how I feel. That for me, I think I would feel bummed and upset that she needed him more than she needed me. And that she, like, it already bothers me.

[Radio]

It's not that she needs him, it's just that he's the available one.

[Tracy]

Yeah, I know. I mean, it already bothers me because since he does work from home and I get to work so early that he is going to be the first person she sees every single morning. And that already bugs me.

[Melissa Carter]

I do think it, I mean, in the scenario where if one parent is not as available as the other. It does. I do think that makes an influence on the kid, but I'm. But from a more extreme case, how

[Radio]

does that feel, Traci?

[Melissa Carter]

No, no, no, not necessarily Traci' because he's working from home and she's working. And I do think that with Tracy and Scott, it's going to be. It's a different scenario than what I'm thinking of. I'm talking about the dad or the mom. Either way, that works all day long. That has gone, you know, works that 18 hour day and the other parent is there 24, seven for that child. That does influence that child. And the child sees the parents differently and has a different bond with the parents differently. And that's why when Jen brings up co parenting, I hope for that so that every child can be equally as bonded with their mother and father or whatever home they're a part of. In my home, it will be two mothers. Then it just being one parent overly there for the child and the other one always gone.

[Tracy]

And I think we're fortunate because of the hours that I, you know, that my job requires where I can get here so early and then, you know, halfway through the day, typically I'm done or I can be working from home. So he'll have her in the morning and then as soon as I get home, that's when he'll shut the door and he'll start working. And then I have her all throughout the afternoon. So it will be like a co parenting thing. But if it were him doing most of the parenting, I think I'd feel bad about it.

[Burt]

Good morning. Chris wants to be on the voice disguiser. Go ahead, Chris.

[Chris]

Yeah, I just, you know, I'm married, kid in the oven, one's here and we both work. We're workaholics. You know, we have a guilt. We are great parents in some respects and the guilt never goes away. And I just think that, you know, what the caller said, I think she was very extreme. She knows she was extreme. She was conceding, you know, in certain situations you should change it. But for Melissa and Jen, I mean, I'm not trying to attack you. You guys don't have kids. I think you guys respect that. You know, it's not necessarily fair for you to comment, but in the end, change is good if change is for an improvement. And, you know, no one should go back 50 years. I think to progress, people should get paid what they bring to the table. I mean, if they bring value and you, you're more productive than someone else, you'd hope, you know, that's how you get paid. But that's not how it works. And life isn't fair. And we should still try and change. But there's no question, if you can have a parent or a family member in the home to raise the kids versus not you should. You just should. If you can, you should. And I think that's what she's saying. And I think when you start attacking someone for having opinions, that is, you know, I want the mom to be in the home or whatever, I just don't think that's fair to do. And I don't. I don't think. Especially when you'll have kids. And that's all I wanted to say.

[Melissa Carter]

Well, I appreciate that. I mean, it's true. Jen and I don't have children. But it's also true that from your perspective as a man, you don't understand where we're coming from as women. You know what I mean? So our opinion is coming based from that study, talking about how it's done in the workplace and at home. And Jen and my decision in our minds, as well as Tracy's, about having a family and the decision making we have to make on whether to have children because we're all three professional women. And I think that's where our comments stem from.

[Jen]

Well, my comment towards that woman was towards a woman who also didn't have kids.

[Melissa Carter]

That's true.

[Burt]

And she.

[Melissa Carter]

That's true.

[Jen]

I mean, I'm confused on where he's coming from on that.

[Burt]

And she felt very strongly.

[Jen]

She felt very strongly about it, but she didn't have kids anyway. Whatev.

[Radio]

The Birch Show.

[Burt]

Deleteme makes it easy, quick and safe to remove your personal data online. At a time when surveillance and data breaches are common enough to make everybody vulnerable, it is easier than ever to find personal information about people online. Having your address, your phone number, family members, names just hanging out there online, it's all pretty scary stuff, right? With Delete Me, you can protect your personal privacy or the privacy of your business from doxing attacks before sensitive information can be exploited. Look, I'm online all the time and it freaks me out that my info is out there. Take control of your data. Keep your private life private by signing up for Delete Me now at a special discount just for you guys. Get 20% off your delete me plan. When you go to JoinDeleteMe.com Bert use the promo code Burt at checkout. That's JoinDeleteMe.com Bert. Enter the code Bert B E R T at checkout.

[Weight Loss Advertiser]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like one minute its carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then, even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wobi pill and the Wobi pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit fourhers.com Bert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F-R-H-E R S.com Bert for hers.com Bert weightless by hers is not available in all 50 states with go registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A S get started and learn more including important safety information with GO Clinical study information and restrictions. Visit borhurst.com@energy trust of Oregon we know

[Brittany]

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[Radio]

So I was hanging out on Saturday night and I went up to the lake alone because Jessica was doing a girls weekend. So I was by myself and I went to a bar by myself. It's okay though. And there was a.

[Burt]

It wasn't sad.

[Jen]

There's nothing wrong with.

[Burt]

Were you the guy at the end of the bar?

[Melissa Carter]

Depends on what bar you're going to by yourself?

[Radio]

Yeah, no, it was. Yeah, well, you guys have been there. It's just a little bar on the lake, you know, so whatever.

[Brittany]

I like that one.

[Radio]

But it's, it's a very, you know, the small town neighborhood vibe of the whole thing. So while you don't really have friends, like kind of everybody's familiar, you know what I mean? Like, it's like a small town bar, you know, you know, everybody, whatever. So there's like these regulars who I couldn't even tell you their name, but they're definitely like fixtures at the place. Yes, they're all probably like 30, 35 years old. I think they, you know, kind of fix boats and jet skis on the side type of deal. The kind of guy you can go up and give like 60 bucks to and go, hey, man, engine sounding weird, you know, can you. Whatever. And they'll tear the whole thing apart and give it back and go, hey, not only did we get it fixed, but we've revved it up. You can now go 170 on your jet ski. And if you push this button, it'll shoot flames. You think that's the greatest. You know what I mean? Those type of guys, right? So go dogs. Yeah. So they're all hanging out and they know I work in radio down here. So they call me Radio for. Either because of the Radio thing or because of Cuba Goody Jr. And they say that movie.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah, you got to remind me of that too.

[Radio]

So the guy says, hey, Radio. Yeah.

[Melissa Carter]

Oh, that's funny. You push her on a shopping cart around.

[Radio]

So I'm hanging out there and I'm talking to a couple people I do know and I somehow end up in a conversation with one of these guys and he tells me a story that I fully think he was joking and like not serious, but found out by the end of it, which was only like a 15, 20 minute conversation. By the end of the conversation, there's no doubt in my mind that he was completely serious. He has thought this out and he wants to execute this plan.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Radio]

Got married about two years ago. Sick of his wife, but he loves her. Just doesn't want to be married to her anymore. He's just not into it. Right?

[Burt]

He loves her, he's just not in love with her.

[Radio]

Yeah, whatever. So he's like, you know, he spends over amount of time prefacing the story with, I gotta understand, I've known her since I was 21. And he tells the whole story about how they ended up Married, Right. But he wants to end it. But the problem is her family. And she has a very big family and a lot of influence and a lot of people. Now he would be completely ostracized, run out of town.

[Jen]

Do they have children?

[Radio]

Shit, no kids, I don't think. But he would be completely run out of town should he file for divorce.

[Jen]

He would never fix another Jet Ski ever again, right? Not in this town, not on this lake.

[Radio]

That would be the end of it. So here is his plan, okay? And he is actively. Well, the drunk him was actively putting this plan into motion, okay? He would like to hire someone to have an affair with his wife.

[Brittany]

What?

[Burt]

For what reason?

[Radio]

Because then it's her fault and he wouldn't be ostracized.

[Melissa Carter]

So she would still.

[Radio]

No, she'd be okay. I asked him that.

[Burt]

This is.

[Radio]

She'd be okay because she has an influential family who already doesn't care for him. So they would understand, okay? And they would almost feel bad for him.

[Burt]

This is the. This is the equivalent of when you're dating and you make it so difficult for the woman that you're going out with to be around you that she ends up breaking up with you because you're too. He's too much of a coward to start the divorce. So he is setting her up.

[Melissa Carter]

He's trying to shake me the bag. He's trying to save his reputation.

[Radio]

Yes, I asked him that. I said, well, aren't you. Just tell me you're just looking for the easy way out. Why don't you just start being a pain? Look around the house. Whatever drives her nuts, you know, like whatever it is, if you, you know, just stop flushing the toilets. Just start doing stuff that you know. Cause you lose her mind and she's like that. You don't understand. And then he would overly explain, over explained the family situation where she has such a big network of friends and family and all this stuff.

[Jen]

So like, that was so exciting too. When he married into it, he was like, God, this is the greatest ever set for life.

[Radio]

Jackpot.

[Jen]

Her family's wealthy and influential and she knows everything, everyone.

[Burt]

And it was only two years ago. It went from there to this.

[Melissa Carter]

This is horrible.

[Radio]

So apparently sometime in the last few months he has seen a television show or a movie or something like this with some similar plot line and is convinced he could do it. He is.

[Jen]

Does he want you to do it? Radio?

[Radio]

No.

[Burt]

He asked you to sleep with his wife. You think you do it. I mean, you were alone.

[Radio]

Well, I, I asked him enough questions. Because I thought, you know, it was like, I thought he wasn't serious about it, but he has. As soon as he found someone who's willing to do it, he's got a part time job lined up. It's a construction gig. The guy will pay him 125 a week to work like two nights to move sand, literally. And he will give that 125 bucks a week to pay for the guy to go, like, take his wife out.

[Burt]

How much is he charging for that

[Radio]

to do all the stuff? 125. That's how much you get paid.

[Burt]

You said a week.

[Radio]

Yeah. So however long it takes for there to be a full fledged affair.

[Burt]

So this is three years.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Melissa Carter]

Bank on this road was, dude, she's a little tough to crack. So it's gonna take me a little longer.

[Burt]

So for 125 bucks a week, he's

[Radio]

already got the job lined up to do it. And his buddies over there, like, you know, they're all talking except for one of them who's the most drunk, every now and again would lean in and go, he's serious, you know.

[Melissa Carter]

Damn. Really?

[Jen]

So he had he approached the guy yet?

[Radio]

He doesn't know. That's what, that's why he started talking to me.

[Jen]

The guy doesn't know.

[Radio]

He asked if I knew anyone in Atlanta who might be interested in the gig.

[Burt]

I think maybe he was recruiting you

[Radio]

because they live in.

[Jen]

That's what I'm saying.

[Burt]

Yeah, I think maybe same way I did this morning when the sun was beating on your face that way. And he sees an angel.

[Jen]

He's freaking me out, you know, be about to stop.

[Radio]

It would be really, really cool if you stop saying that.

[Burt]

I want to hide the way I

[Radio]

go on now, so save that. So, yeah, so he, he was asking

[Melissa Carter]

how uncomfortable Jeff's got, just trying to

[Radio]

tell a story about the redneck.

[Jen]

I think that's fascinating. And I wonder if he woke up the next day thinking that was the dumbest idea ever or the best idea.

[Burt]

No, he's probably thinking a radio guy in Atlantis, his net is way wide.

[Radio]

Yeah, well, he's not.

[Melissa Carter]

And your people wouldn't know that. The people that you know in the small town. So he needed an outside recruit.

[Radio]

Yeah, I don't think he is. I don't think he's waking up the next day. Because if you go by what his friend said, like, he's been talking about this ever since he saw the TV show or movie or whatever it was

[Ty]

that had it in it.

[Radio]

He's like, oh, my God. And like call his buddies and everything. And then the next thing they. They came down. They live like in Asheville, North Carolina or something like that. Next time they drove down on their. On their dret, ski trailer, fixing trip and make some cash money. The bird show.

[Burt]

In a situation like this, you only have one shot.

[Ty]

One shot, one opportunity.

[Burt]

So there Frank was going out this weekend, said she was hot.

[Jen]

He said she was banging, banging, sweaty.

[Burt]

This is how he was feeling driving over the restaurant. He's in the car and he's going over to the restaurant. He's getting all these feelings, he's nervous, and he's got one shot at this. If she's that good looking, they got one shot at him. Frank, when we talked to you on Friday, it seemed to us like you were gonna be just fine, man.

[Ty]

I appreciate it. And boss, if you're listening, it's not my fault I'm late. Jeff Strong, Army.

[Burt]

Sorry, boss. So what happened on Friday or Saturday night?

[Ty]

I had a. I had an appointment reschedule, and I didn't get home till like 9, so I rescheduled early in the day. And I called her, said, hey, you know, we're gonna have to do this at a later time. I'm sorry. She was really cool about it. You know, amicable, you know, everything's cool. Everything's cool. So I was like, well, I'll get back to you later on the week. We'll just do it sometime this week maybe. You know, we don't have to wait till Friday. Actually, she said that. She's like, you know, we don't have to wait till Friday. I was like, well, that's a good thing. All right. So I see her friend on the lake the other day, and she's like, no one ever really cancels on her. And I was like, well, sorry, Work.

[Radio]

It's a really good, great move on your part.

[Jen]

So it really was work?

[Ty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it really was.

[Burt]

It just works out nicely that way.

[Jen]

But it does work out nicely. That's a good move.

[Burt]

And she even acknowledged it.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah.

[Burt]

She even said, no one has ever done this. This is beautiful.

[Jen]

Well, no, she didn't say it. Her friend.

[Burt]

Oh, her friend did.

[Jen]

Her friend.

[Ty]

Which means they were talking about it.

[Radio]

Yes. That's what I thought.

[Burt]

Perfect.

[Jen]

Dude, you are lining this one up.

[Ty]

I got blocked by work, but it wound up working. Yes.

[Burt]

I'm very, very happy for you.

[Jen]

That's awesome.

[Ty]

I appreciate it. I mean, it's. Yeah, I think it'll be better in the end. I think.

[Melissa Carter]

And I like the fact that she responded by saying, well, we don't even have to wait till Friday, you know? So I didn't even.

[Ty]

Really? Yeah, I guess that is a good thing.

[Jen]

When are you gonna take her out?

[Ty]

Sometime this week. She called me last night, but I was already asleep and didn't get it till this morning.

[Melissa Carter]

You couldn't answer and he didn't pick up.

[Burt]

It's perfect. It's all lining up perfectly. Because now she calls, he's not available.

[Melissa Carter]

This is great.

[Ty]

Like Eminem at the shelter or wherever they were at in the bathroom. You guys were playing that song.

[Radio]

Well, make sure you're listening at 8:45 as we talk to Jada Pinkett Smith about the secrets of a good marriage.

[Ty]

8:45. I can do that.

[Radio]

All right, perfect. Because that's the next step. Clearly here, because she is definitely going

[Burt]

to want to marry you now, I think no matter what, come hell or hot high water, you have to. If you make a dinner date with her on Wednesday night, you can't cancel that one because. No, no, no, no, no.

[Ty]

Not at all.

[Radio]

And I feel strongly about that, too, but I'm not going to use an old man's phrase to indicate that. Make sure you don't take any wooden nickels on that date.

[Ty]

You got your six shooter.

[Burt]

All right, Frank. Good luck, man. You're fine.

[Ty]

All right, Stephen. You recognize my voice?

[Burt]

Who?

[Radio]

That friend.

[Ty]

He called me at like 8. He was like, hey, do you have a date tonight? And I was like, you really recognize that voice, didn't you?

[Burt]

Well, now you're a hero, dude. In your circle, you're a hero.

[Ty]

Yes.

[Burt]

Congratulations, man.

[Ty]

Later, guys.

[Burt]

Nice job, dude.

[Radio]

I was listening to the 5:30 club this morning. You might need an elder vention. Bert, you started out with get on the horn come hell or high water.

[Burt]

It's too old world school phrases and the course of three hours. Don't fight it.

[Jen]

Don't fight it. But we just all become our parents.

[Ty]

Don't say that.

[Burt]

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[Burt]

Brit, you're back.

[Brittany]

What's going on?

[Jen]

Welcome out.

[Burt]

You're in one piece, at least physically.

[Brittany]

It's like a rocking music bed. I really like that there. Hey, what's going on?

[Burt]

You tell us, man. This is gonna be stressful. For those that weren't listening the Friday you took off, just give a. I know it's a complicated family history, but if you had to do it.

[Brittany]

I wasn't raised by my mom. I was raised by her parents. And I was sort of in touch with her on and off my whole life. I've been a lot closer since I was about 18, 19 years old, but not. I've. I've probably only seen her half a dozen times since then, you know, and I'm 30 now, so the last time I saw her was in 2004, the summer 2004, I went and visited her and that went okay, you know.

[Burt]

What do you mean by okay?

[Brittany]

I think usually what happens when I go to see her is the first day goes fine, the second day goes fine. The third day we have some giant blow up fight and everybody's reduced to tears. And she says, I'm sending you home. And then somehow we work it out and the rest of the visitor, I'm sending you home.

[Burt]

Sounds so 7 year old.

[Brittany]

I got that again. This time it was good.

[Burt]

She threatened to send you home.

[Brittany]

No tears this time though. I have just, it's, I'm dismissing you,

[Burt]

I'm sending you home. It's like when you're at camp and you do something wrong, they send you home to your parents if you wear the school.

[Radio]

Yes.

[Brittany]

Yeah, I, I've learned to deal with her a lot better. That's basically what I learned from this visit is that I personally have grown up a lot, even if she hasn't. So I, I wish that it was a more exciting story. I wish I had some like huge, like this happened and then I said this and she said that. But it wasn't, it wasn't a great visit, but it wasn't a terrible visit. Nothing awful happened.

[Melissa Carter]

Was it about three days in when she was gonna visit home?

[Brittany]

It was, yeah, it always is. The thing is, you know, as soon as I got there, I knew she was real uncomfortable. She was really uncomfortable the whole time.

[Radio]

Well, she didn't even come to the airport to pick you up?

[Brittany]

She didn't come to the airport to pick me up. And I, you know, the funny thing is I got there to their house and I got out of the car and I went up and I was gonna give her a hug, and she turned around and walked into the house and I was like, what? Okay? And then I walked up to her in the house to give her a hug and she was saying something else and I'm like, can I hug you? And then she was like, oh, right. You know, she just doesn't know how

[Jen]

to do it at all.

[Brittany]

No, she doesn't know how to do it. And that's the thing, you know, she just, it just makes her real, real uncomfortable. And you know, the whole first day that I was there, she kept saying, well, you really shouldn't have come. You should have stayed home with me. I got a new dog, I got a new rescue dog. She kept saying, you should have stayed home with your dog and you should have done that, you know, And I don't know why you wanted to come here anyway, because you're just gonna be. And I'm like, are you trying to still convince me to not come because I'm here?

[Burt]

I mean, here's what you told us about your mom, is that. I mean, she's always been uncomfortable being a mom. She doesn't know how to do it. So if she didn't know I said this to you before, if she didn't know how to do it then, why would she all of a sudden know how to do it now?

[Brittany]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Well.

[Brittany]

And because of that, I think she's always been kind of uncomfortable with my interest in her. You know what I mean? Like, if she's uncomfortable with being a mom and I'm looking at her and going, be my mom now. Okay, do it. Which I'm not, but she feels like I am, and she doesn't know what to do. So, you know, the whole time I was there, she was really uncomfortable. She was very self conscious. She kept saying, oh, you probably hate our house. Every meal it was like, oh, you probably hate this food. And it was like.

[Melissa Carter]

It sounds like a combination of the. It was exhausting not wanting to be a mom and then still caring about what you thought, though. I mean, I think it's like this really weird mixed message.

[Brittany]

Yeah.

[Jen]

You know, to me, it sounds so alien life form that I'm fascinated by how in Bert's mom's life, like, there are a lot of people that think she's really normal, like in her career life and all of that kind of stuff.

[Burt]

Like her patients.

[Jen]

Like her patients. Patients.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Radio]

Oh, Lord.

[Jen]

Do you know what I'm saying? Like, but in your family life, I think she's so alien. So, like, is your mom in the same way?

[Brittany]

Like, she's. No, no. Nobody really thinks she's that normal.

[Burt]

I don't think. Well, what my mom has done, it's a little bit. That's a little bit misleading because my. In my opinion, my mom has surrounded herself with people just like she is. So if you're an alien amongst aliens and you're the normal one, okay, my

[Brittany]

mom has done that to a degree. But the thing is, she doesn't. You know, I used to think that there was a possibility she would come visit me here. And I. A lot of times I'll think, oh, I should take my mom this place. She would really like this. Or she. She'd really like to come and meet all my pets because she loves animals. But after being there, I don't think there's any way I'm gonna see her.

[Radio]

But you upset she is.

[Brittany]

She's not gonna come visit me at all. She. When people come, my stepfather has friends around in the area in the neighborhood and things. When they come over to the house, she goes upstairs, she doesn't want to talk to anyone.

[Radio]

She's got social anxiety of some sort, right?

[Brittany]

Yeah, she does. Yeah, for sure. So she was just uncomfortable the whole time. And then she started saying things like, well, you just sprang yourself on us. Well, you just showed up here uninvited, you know. And I was like, well, I asked you if I could come. And she said, well, you know, you're my daughter. What am I supposed to say? Am I supposed to say no?

[Burt]

And I said did. Most of the words literally came out.

[Brittany]

Yeah. I said, well, you could have told me it was a bad time. If it's a bad time, you could have said that and I wouldn't have come. That's why I asked you in the first place. You know. But all of these things that she says, you know, in the past definitely would have really upset me, you know, telling me that I was there uninvited and this time I was just like,

[Melissa Carter]

yeah, whatever, because she's consistent with it and this like this defense mechanism and

[Brittany]

she never stopped the whole time I was there and she, she would be so uncomfortable. I actually spent a lot of time just hanging out in my room, just reading and doing other stuff, you know, and I would give her a generous amount of time every day to just be by herself.

[Burt]

Here's the problem, like you and I are going through sort of the same thing with our parents. Also. I haven't talked too much about it on the air just because it's so complicated and it just feels so 17 year old. But like I keep lowering the bar for my parents. Lowering it and lowering it and lowering it to a point to where like it's not acceptable anymore. Ye, like just cuz they're your parents, it's just not acceptable for them to hurt you. Or you can't lower it so much to where you're like, okay, go ahead, do it. That's just who you are. Go ahead and hurt me and my family.

[Brittany]

That's absolutely how I feel about my dad and I think my mom. I've just gotten to the point where I'm like, I accept anything you're gonna do at this point and you can't. Whatever. Well, you know, I don't know.

[Jen]

Does it hurt you? I mean, when she says things like this and, you know, like, that's where

[Brittany]

interaction happens in the past. If this were five years ago and I was there and she said something like, well, you just showed up here uninvited, I would have felt really bad. I would have felt like, oh, my God, I'm here and they don't want me here. But now I can look at her and see she's just really uncomfortable. She's just really self conscious, you know, she doesn't know how to act. She doesn't know what to say. She doesn't know what to do. It's not about me, it's about her, you know, And I can just go, okay, well, you need some time to yourself.

[Radio]

It's a really mature perspective.

[Brittany]

There's only.

[Radio]

So there's no place on this show.

[Burt]

Yeah, we would have known this was your take.

[Jen]

You're the grown up and she's the child.

[Brittany]

Well, and the sad thing is that, you know, I left and I could tell that she was sad when I was leaving, you know, and the whole visit, I was there and we didn't. We talked a little bit. We didn't really talk a ton. It was very. I mean, it was very superficial kind of visit. Like, we ate every day and we watched some tv and then I went home, you know, and like I say, I gave her a lot of time on her own every day. And I left and I saw a Twitter message from her when I got home that night that said, I don't know why, but every time the kid leaves, I cry. Or like I sob for an hour straight. It's like, well, that's really sad that she cried after I left. But why wasn't she more.

[Burt]

Well, she might.

[Melissa Carter]

That Jeff was saying is that she doesn't know how to interact with people when they're one on one in front of her.

[Burt]

It's almost so unfair to you that. That's a little bit like using a golf analogy. Like, you play 17 holes of golf and you suck, suck, suck, suck, suck. And then you play one hole where you do it just so well, and it keeps bringing you back. Like, you weren't even having fun for five days. It was awful. And then when you leave, you see pain in your mom's eyes. So all of a sudden you're like, well, I gotta.

[Brittany]

But at the same time, it wasn't terrible. It wasn't like I hated it. I wasn't that uncomfortable. Even though she was uncomfortable, I was like, well, I'm just gonna be here. And, you know, my stepfather is. We get along Fine. So I would just talk to him, and at least I can, you know, commiserate with him a little bit. And she did say one thing she said that was really funny before I left was that she told me that she had been lonely all week. Because usually her and I talk online every day. Huh.

[Burt]

So you're right in front of her.

[Brittany]

She told me that she had been lonely all week because we hadn't. She hadn't had me online to talk to you. I'm like, I'm right here.

[Burt]

Maybe you should have iMed her from the other room when you were sitting.

[Brittany]

Yeah, totally. So.

[Jen]

But, yeah, it wasn't terrible.

[Brittany]

It wasn't great. I think that probably from now on, at least for, you know, the next couple years, it's better for us to have, like, an online relationship. And if in another five years, I feel compelled to go visit her again or try to make it work out again, then I'll probably go visit her and see if anything's changed, you know?

[Melissa Carter]

And then you get to the point where you realize she's not gonna change. So you work out with each other.

[Brittany]

I don't know that she is. I'm not expecting her to at this point. I'm just leaving the possibility open. And I don't know, you know, like, I'm fine with it. I went. I did what I could do. I made my effort. And.

[Burt]

Yeah, you did what you could.

[Brittany]

Absolutely.

[Melissa Carter]

Congratulations.

[Burt]

If you. If you want to talk to Brittany, she's on after 10 o'. Clock. Or you can Facebook her also. Or you can go to our website at q100.

[Brittany]

Twitter me. Q100. Brittany. You can im me, you can call me on the phone.

[Burt]

The Burt Show.