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Birch Show Host
The Birch show we have been building a healthy little dating dictionary here because the problem part of the problem with dating is especially when you're in a city like Atlanta, you have so many different people coming from different parts of the country that the nomenclature S a T word.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
That's a big word.
Birch Show Host
Thanks. The the definitions for dating terms can be different. Hooking up is the classic example.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Yeah, hooking up is the first one we put on our dating dictionary. And for for me, I always heard hooking up as you had sex. I mean, first and foremost, where everybody else in the room hooking up was just making out. So if somebody said, oh, I hooked up with her last night, I thought you had sex with her last night. And everybody else's, they either kissed or made out or whatever. So because I'm in the minority, when we started our Burt show, Dating Dictionary, hooking up is the first term, and that is defined now first, you know, like, finally defined as just making out.
Birch Show Host
And these are defined based on your phone calls. Like, we get a general feel of what you guys want to go with with these. And that's what we put into the dating dictionary. Right, the ones that we've covered already.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
So hooking up means making out. Another one was seeing each other. What does that mean? It means that you are pre exclusive. So you're not exclusive with each other yet, but, you know, seeing each other. Same with dating. If you're dating somebody, you're pre exclusive, but if you define it as being in a relationship, that means that you are exclusive with each other. We also had to define the basis. So I guess when you're out there hooking up, you know what you're doing. First base, kissing, making out. Second base is anything above the border. Third base is anything below the border. And then home run, of course, is sex. And the last time we put something in the dating dictionary was the term on a break, which we defined as a trial separation. But you are able to see other people. However, you cannot have sex with those other people.
Birch Show Host
You can make out, but. And then hook up.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
You can hook up. In our dating dictionary, hookup, which means making out, but you cannot have sex with them.
Birch Show Host
So there's a whole bunch of these terms that we go through from time to time. Which ones do you guys want to tackle today? Or. Let's just focus on one.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
What do you got?
Birch Show Host
We got on the table, still hanging out together, fooling around. Just my MySpace friend. Friends with benefits, or best guy friend.
Birch Show Female Contributor
I think that the most ambiguous ones are at the top of that list. What is those first three again?
Birch Show Host
We had talking, hanging out, and together.
Birch Show Female Contributor
I think hanging out.
Birch Show Host
All right. Hanging out.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Okay, what was your vote?
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Best guy friend.
Birch Show Host
You mean MySpace friend?
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
No, best guy friend.
Birch Show Host
My best guy friend.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Because I'm curious about that one.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
My confusion of that would come from, like, if a girl has a best guy friend and he's gay, no worries. But if a girl says, oh, yeah, that's my best guy friend, and you start to date her, I would be very curious to. What a woman defines that is. Cause I think a guy would have a problem with a girl having a best guy friend.
Birch Show Host
That to me. Okay. And you can define the first thing that comes to.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Go ahead.
Birch Show Host
404-741-1005 so what is best guy friend?
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
First thing that came to mind for me was Will and Grace. Grace's relationship with Will.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Right.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Which was non threatening because Will was gay.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Right.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
But what if you don't have like what if you have.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
But you have to factor in though C. You have to make sure like we have in the definition. Can he be an ex boyfriend? Because some. My best guy friend. Oh we dated but now we're just friends and he's my best guy friend.
Birch Show Host
Is there a time element that plays also like if he has been your best guy friend. Guys have never hooked up.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Right.
Birch Show Host
Best friend never, ever, ever, ever hooked up. Are you allowed to keep that best friend even though it's somebody from the opposite sex?
Birch Show Female Contributor
We should ask Phil because I imagine Phil gets the role of best guy friend a lot.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Jen Fallon strikes me as the type of person who has a lot of.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Best and they're probably her ex.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Boyfriend, best guy friend.
Birch Show Host
All right. Jessica says here's our starting point. Jessica, good Morning. You're on Q100.
Caller/Listener
Good morning.
Birch Show Host
Hi.
Caller/Listener
My best guy friend is a guy that I previously dated and had sex with who is my backup in case I ever break up with my current boyfriend.
Birch Show Host
Really? So it has nothing to do with anything platonic. Really? This is your backup sexual.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Do you refer to. Go ahead.
Caller/Listener
We're still friends. As in like if I have a boyfriend we are strictly platonic and we're still close friends. But if I break up with boyfriend then it becomes more than platonic.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
But does your boyfriend know that he is that you have a best guy friend? Maybe not.
Birch Show Female Contributor
He's her on deck.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Better.
Caller/Listener
Well, he knows that I have a best guy friend, but he doesn't know the history.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
So this guy. Yeah, I think Jen nailed it. This guy's in the bullpen. So if things become tiresome, you just.
Birch Show Host
Bring this dude in.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
You get late in the game with your current boyfriend and you're like, you know what? This isn't working out. You can make a quick change.
Birch Show Host
So I mean the, the, the obvious definition would be if it's a best guy friend, it's just somebody that you confide in, somebody that you cry on their shoulder. You're saying we got to scrap that definition. This really all has to do with just. I mean it's really friends with benefits. Isn't It.
Caller/Listener
Well, I. I like the definition because he. Because my. My best guy friend is the front of my shoulder. You're my best friend until I break up with my boyfriend, and then it's friends with benefits.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
See, I knew that with the best guy friend. The reason you have to justify this is my best guy friend is I knew that it would have to have something to do with being an ex because I think there's probably more best guy friends that are out there that women have actually dated, but it just didn't work out, or it wasn't passionate or whatever, but wanted to keep them around.
Birch Show Host
This one's gonna. I can tell by the calls already coming in. This one's gonna be tough to define, but.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Yeah. Couldn't it be, though, that you've known this kid since you were like 2 years old and grew up together and you really could be completely platonic?
Birch Show Host
I guess it could be, but.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
But according to guys, aren't you hanging around till you have sex with somebody?
Birch Show Host
Yeah, like, I mean, but if you've.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Been friends since childhood and say you were next door neighbors and your families are all still friends, whatever, couldn't you be the best guy friend?
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Do you have a best guy friend, Jen? Hobby.
Gift Wrapping Segment Host
Mm.
Birch Show Host
Mm.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
I think that's why I think this is the one we needed to find. Because I think if somebody has a best guy friend, I think it's dangerous.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
I mean, she does and she came clean with what he is.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Everybody. Hey, Jen Fallon, come in here and just answer the question. Do you have a best guy friend? And what was your previous relationship with him? And I guarantee you it's an ex boyfriend.
Birch Show Host
Hey, Elizabeth, you're on Q100. Hi.
Gift Wrapping Segment Host
Hi.
Caller/Listener
A best guy friend to me is basically the guys that, you know, you enjoy their company, but they weren't really that cute. Cute enough to date, but you knew if you weren't dating anybody, you kind of fall back on them to go out and have a good time and not have to, you know, sleep with them or kiss them or do anything. And it's, you know, they were just a lot of fun because, you know, I mean, easy to get stuff out of them.
Birch Show Host
So this is not a guy that you would have sex with even if your first string starting boyfriend went away?
Caller/Listener
No, no, not at all. Because it's just, you know, that you can go out and have a good time with them and there aren't expectations at the end. Even though you know they like you, you don't have to like them. And that's just, you know, that's how all my guy friends have ever been. And yeah, they're a lot of fun, but you know, I'm married now. I don't talk to any of my guy friends, but it's just easy to go out with them and not have to have any expectations.
Birch Show Host
Well, I think it makes a pretty powerful statement if you lost your best guy friend when you got married.
Caller/Listener
Well, my best guy friends, you know, I mean, it's hard to have a husband and hang out with your guy friends because that kind of looks bad to your husband.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
You think?
Caller/Listener
You know what I'm saying?
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
That's why we're defining it.
Birch Show Host
Yeah, we're trying. Anyway. Jen Fallon.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
Jeff, can you repeat your question? Cause I only heard half of it.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
It's a two part question. I'll give you part number one. First, do you have a best guy friend?
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
I do.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
And prior, is he gay?
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
No, he's not.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Okay, so prior to him being designated best guy friend, did you date?
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
We did.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Thank you.
Birch Show Host
All right, so generally, but I will.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
Say my best guy friend, prior to him, like before I met this guy, was my best guy friend from high school. Never ever dated him.
Caller/Listener
Never thought of kissing him.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
Was disgusted by the thought of kissing.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Him because he was not cute enough to date.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
He was just the guy that had all girlfriends. Like he was just.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
But you swapped him.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
You swapped him married now, but you.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Swapped him for a better looking best guy friend.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
Well, he. When my best guy friend from high school started dating this current girlfriend, the one he's married to now, he kind of dropped off the face of the earth and I started hanging out with my new one.
Birch Show Host
Isn't it as a general rule, because Stacy had one of these guys also, that at one point or another, if you have a best guy friend, you try to do something more, but when you do, you realize that he's more like a brother to you than he really is. Like going to be a boyfriend with my current one.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
Yes. My last one. We never tried anything.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
The difference is, I think between women, it, it varies on how far they went to find out. Some women just made out and some had sex with them to find out that this wasn't what, you know, we're better off friends. But there's a. I do believe there's a history with most best guy friends.
Birch Show Host
Hey, Rachel.
Caller/Listener
Hey guys. How are you all doing?
Birch Show Host
Good, thank you.
Caller/Listener
Great. Right? So my best guy friend, we dated like five years ago and ever since then, none of his girlfriends like me and none of my boyfriends have ever Liked him.
Birch Show Host
All right. But you gave us a good piece to this puzzle, though, because what we're hearing time and time again, though, is guy friend that I used to date.
Caller/Listener
Yeah, we dated a long time ago, but we genuinely are friends now. Like, I can never see myself being with him in that way again, but we're genuinely friends.
Birch Show Host
What are we to take from all that?
Birch Show Female Contributor
I don't know. It's so confusing.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
If you're in a relationship. If you're in a relationship with a. With a girl, you. You don't want her to have a.
Birch Show Host
Best guy friend, because generally that means at one point or another, they have.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Hooked up, or he's on standby, as the first call taught us, or he's on standby for after you guys break up. And guys don't want to be looking over the shoulder.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Isn't that sort of from. If you take it from the guy's perspective, if you are the best guy friend, like the majority of guys, are they just hanging around to hook up, or do they really want a girl that's their best girlfriend that they're not sleeping with?
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
If you're calling him your best guy friend, then he wants to have sex with you.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Yeah. Like, if he's hanging out, spending as much time with you, you know, sending you emails or text messages or taking time out of his weekend to hang out with you or whatever, he's hoping he's going to crack in.
Birch Show Host
As a general show, as a general rule, I would say that's true. I mean, if it. I mean, if it came down to it, if I'm gonna have a friend, I mean, it's gonna be a guy or it's gonna be a woman. I enjoy hanging out with dudes more as friends. So if I was gonna have a best friend, it was gonna be a guy or it's gonna be a guy.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
But if there was a girl who called you, oh, that's Birdie. He's my best guy friend, then she probably.
Birch Show Host
I would hate that. I would hate that. I don't know why I would hate it. I would just hate it.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
I'm gonna start calling you my best guy friend.
Birch Show Host
Hey, James. Good morning. Here on Q100.
Caller/Listener
Hey, how you guys doing?
Birch Show Host
All right. What's going on?
Caller/Listener
Hey, I got kind of an interesting one. My best friend is actually my ex wife, and it was actually an ex girlfriend that pointed it out to me. A couple of years ago, she and I were dating, and, you know, I kept talking about my ex wife and everything, and she was my friend. And now she's not my best friend, but she finally proved to me that she was. Now I'm engaged to somebody else. So it was weird to her at first, but now we're all nice, one big family. And the thing is, her husband and I, we kind of get along, but she's actually. He's actually the guy that she left me for. So it's a weird. This is a really weird one. But I mean, you know, I'll be over at the house and stuff and we hang out a bunch and I've literally been there like 10:30 at night or whatever. He come home from work and he look at me kind of funny. But, you know, there's never any issue.
Birch Show Host
But there still is one common denominator, right? They used to be together.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
This is like a lesbian drama right there. I mean, because it is. Yeah, I. I don't know. That's. I'm not. Consider me selfish or consider me not a big person, but I just know I don't. I would not be in that situation. I would not be with somebody whose best friend is their ex lover. And I'm not best friends with my ex lover. And then we're kind of still all of one big happy family. What?
Birch Show Host
You know, so if we are drawing up a brand new dating dictionary, then we have to redefine this term because a best guy friend is generally somebody that you have already hooked up with.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Someone you had hooked up with, but now are platonic with, or just somebody you had hooked up with.
Birch Show Host
The first call was kind of an anomaly. Like, I don't think that's the rule.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Someone you had hooked up with or.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Used to be in a relationship with, but now it's platonic because you've both moved on.
Birch Show Host
Right. But the one constant is that you guys hooked up at one point or another. So there has to be another term that we have to come up with for the person that's in your life that you've never hooked up with before that is still considered a really good friend.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
It's getting confusing now. We're inventing words. Like, not only we're defining words that already exist, we're adding words.
Birch Show Host
Right. Go check out the dating Dictionary online at allthehitsq100.com the Birch show hi, this is Jonathan Fields from the Good Life Project, and today I want to talk to you about Boost Mobile. The holidays can feel like a blur. With lists and plans and trying to make everyone happy, simplicity can be its own kind of gift. Boost Mobile helps you keep things Easy with the $25 Unlimited plan that gives you unlimited talk, text and data for just $25 a month. No contracts, no trade ins. Just the freedom to keep the phone you love and focus on what really matters. Because peace of mind is something we could all use a little more of. Visit boostmobile.com to start saving today. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 per month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Oh hey.
Gift Wrapping Segment Host
Welcome to gift wrapping.
Birch Show Host
Whoa.
Gift Wrapping Segment Host
So is Saldana.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
Hey, can you wrap these please?
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Wow.
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Gift Wrapping Segment Host
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Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
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Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
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Gift Wrapping Segment Host
Sounds like my family drama.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
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Birch Show Host
To T Mobile. The holidays are better.
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Birch Show Host
Q100 and the Birch Show Parents, teens. You guys aren't even on the same planet. Not even on the same planet. Brand new study out about promiscuity that we're gonna talk about. You parents are so incredibly naive about your kids.
Birch Show Female Contributor
It's not something you really want to know, but it's something you absolutely should know.
Birch Show Host
Yeah, we'll get into it more here in just a couple of seconds. But some of these are shocking. I mean, shocking how out of touch parents are. Let's talk about it in just a second. Equally shocking, Jen, hobby without pants on Monday morning.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Hey, don't you. Don't you throw my Marietta Blue Devils under the bus already. You don't know how they're gonna do tonight.
Birch Show Host
That could very well happen on Monday morning. As our strip football bet continues, we'll explain more about it between 7 and 7:30 this morning. So this survey works like this. You get a whole bunch of teens in a room together and you ask them questions about what's going on at parties, what's going on in their sex lives. Then you get a whole bunch of parents, not necessarily the same parents of these teenagers that, that answered the questions before. Understand? So it's not necessarily a correlate group.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Of parents, and they're not necessarily related.
Birch Show Host
Exactly. Okay, and here are some of the results. And I'll give the phone number out. 404-741-1005. And I'll also give this warning that normally we save this kind of stuff till after 8:30, but it has to do with teens. And that's why we're talking about it now, because generally teens get into school about 7:15, 7:30 or so. All right, so according to this study, that again, asked a whole bunch of kids, then asked parents, separate rooms. Have you ever kissed somebody? The students said 96% of them, almost 100%. 96% of these teens said yes.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Now, did they really get the teens all in a room or did they just go to their MySpace profiles and look at those really long obnoxious people surveys that says you can have a survey just like this.
Birch Show Host
Click here.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
And then there's like 42.
Birch Show Host
Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Have you ever smoked a cigarette?
Birch Show Female Contributor
How old are the teens on the study?
Birch Show Host
Just says teens.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Okay?
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
So in their 20s.
Birch Show Host
So it doesn't give a real average.
Birch Show Female Contributor
13 to 18.
Birch Show Host
13 to 18. Okay.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Okay.
Birch Show Host
Have you ever kissed somebody? The students, 96% of them said, of course we have kissed somebody. 96%. The parents think this about their own kids. That's 74%. 74. So three out of four, which to me isn't really that big a discrepancy.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
And I, and I, when I saw this, I. My thought was, and I said this off air that I think that I'm just surprised at the parents. Like my mom is 76 years old. I was born a little later than most people and in their parents Life. And she's 76, so I expect her to. Oh, well, you know, don't kiss somebody until you're. Whatever.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Back in my day, back in my.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Day when I walked to school both ways. But, but I think that the younger parents who are like the baby boomer generation, I'm surprised that they would be so naive. You would think they would be a little more. But I guess when it comes to your child, you still don't want to know what's going on.
Birch Show Host
I would tell you what, because of the way that I kind of ran around in high school and stuff like that. I think my answer, I think my attitude towards my son when he grows up is going to be more paranoid than less naive. Does that make sense? Like, I think he's probably going to be into more things than he might really be based on what I did in high school.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
I just know that. Yeah. If somebody said, is your teenage. Has your teenager kissed anybody?
Birch Show Female Contributor
Yeah, yeah.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
I mean, they probably kissed somebody before they became a teenager.
Birch Show Host
Well, we haven't even scratched the surface on this thing. Have you gone on a date? 93% of the students said, yeah, we've gone on a date. It's almost 100%. Only 68% of the parents think their kids have gone out on a date. So now we're starting to see a widening gap here.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Maybe they need that Birch show dictionary and just start defining these things.
Birch Show Host
You ever French kissed? 84% of the teenagers said, yup, we've swapped spit before. The parents said 43%.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
No.
Birch Show Female Contributor
That is so dumb.
Birch Show Host
You got to cut that in half. This. And there's no way my kid would have her tongue in the mouth of another boy. No way.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Ew, that's. That's just gross.
Birch Show Host
Not my kid. Yep, your kid Jen was the first.
Birch Show Female Contributor
What?
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
How old were you when you first French kissed?
Birch Show Female Contributor
Probably like 13 or 14.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Yeah, that's the same with me. Is it 13 or 14? Come on now.
Birch Show Host
There's somebody right now. There was a parent driving in that just heard you say that. That is shocked. That is like you were 13 when you had your first tongue kiss. They just about drove off the side of the room.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Yeah.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Don Jr. 14. I remember it. We touched braces.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Oh, say Don Johnson. Swear his name. And Mr. Mom. That was the name of the movie. And he choked me for sure. Yeah. I mean, Michael Keaton turns anybody.
Birch Show Host
It'll get you more frisky than Michael Keaton doing housework.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Remember Jessica made out during that movie he made with the videotape for his son when he was dying?
Birch Show Host
Oh, dude, that one is brutal. My life can't even joke about that.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
That's the first time I went up a girl's shirt during that movie.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Oh, my.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Oh, my God.
Birch Show Host
Just get out.
Birch Show Female Contributor
We've got three more hours.
Birch Show Host
A hickey. Have you received or given a hickey? 73% of the teens said yes, either given or gotten a hickey. The parents said, not my kid. They would never walk around with one of those hickeys. 28% of the parents.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
I just. I had this thought, you know, we have this whole bank of things for Birchill bets. I think the. The next loser of a Birch show bet has to receive a hickey in a prominent place on their neck as an adult.
Birch Show Host
I love that.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
And then all the remedies were the spoon in the freez.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
And you can get the hickey bite from your significant other, but you have to have it, like, for however long it lasts as an adult. And you have to get, like, three of them.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Right. Real red.
Birch Show Host
Yeah, you'll never feel more trashy than when you walk into the office with a hickey. So, you guys, the first hickey that I ever had was self inflicted. I was so posing in, like the seventh grade and wanted to come into school with a hickey. I wasn't even dating a girl at the time. And we had this little snake charming kit where I lived in San Diego that, you know, if you get bit by a snake, you're supposed to suck the poison out. So it's like a little mini plunger that if you're by yourself and you get bit by a snake, you kind of attach it to your arm and it sucks the poison out. I put the thing all over my neck.
Birch Show Female Contributor
That is hilarious.
Birch Show Host
And I walked in. Yeah, who's the man? Who is the man?
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
What he didn't notice is the plunger had, like two little dots where the fangs were. He's looking at him going, oh, my God. Did you get attacked by a snake in your neck?
Birch Show Host
Morning. Q100. Hello. We haven't even scratched the surface. Seriously, on this, on this survey yet. Is it Nika? Nika Nika, what's going on?
Caller/Listener
Nothing much. What's up?
Birch Show Host
You tell us you've called. What's up?
Caller/Listener
Well, I was calling to say that I'm not one of the parents who are naive to the situation. I do have a 19, 17 and 13 year old as nine, but I am very close with my boys and one of my sons were listening and he's like, God, those parents are really naive because we talk about condoms and sex and my boys are active and I've gone to purchase their condoms. I know what size they need. I'm very strict. It's like American Express card, jumping home without it type thing.
Birch Show Host
Listen to this. Nika, check this out. Because you're talking about contraceptives and stuff like that. One of the questions on the survey is, have you ever purchased contraceptives? 34% of the teens said yes. Yes, we have. The parents think their own teen, only 7%.
Caller/Listener
Oh my God, how naive.
Birch Show Host
I'm sorry.
Caller/Listener
I prefer to know what's going on in my son's life than not to know what's going on in their lives.
Birch Show Host
Good for you. Because if he's answering honestly to you, then I think that makes you pretty rare. Pretty rare. Especially when you look at the rest of the survey.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Because all I hear in my head is her sentence. I know what size they are and it's getting louder and louder and I.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Can'T get it out.
Birch Show Female Contributor
But it's realistic.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
No, it's not.
Birch Show Female Contributor
It is realistic.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
I mean, parents should know that.
Birch Show Female Contributor
But teenagers won't talk to their parents because they're afraid they're going to get in trouble for it. So instead they end up in like real life trouble, getting, you know, diseases or, you know, teen pregnancy or you name it, because they're too afraid to talk to their parents because they're afraid they're going to get grounded. But instead the alternative is, you know, the other things that are happening.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
And I think parents think that if you like, some parents probably heard that call and thought, well, it's because she's talking to them and because she's buying the condoms for them is why they're active. When I think parents are naive to think it's gonna happen anyway. It's gonna happen anyway. So either you protect your kid or you don't.
Birch Show Host
That's a tough decision to make as a parent, but I think I'd rather go through the uncomfortableness of knowing the size of my son's condom than the uncomfortableness of him coming home and telling me that he got a Girl pregnant, that's for sure.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Or has a sexually transmitted disease I'll never get rid of.
Birch Show Host
Told someone you loved him or her? 68% of the teens. That even seems low to me because when you're a teenager, you love her.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Oh, my God. You were just. I'll never live without. We will be together forever. Forever.
Birch Show Host
And when. I mean forever, I mean like three weeks.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
What age is it when a girl writes on her notebook her first name and the guy's last name?
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Fourth grade.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
That early?
Birch Show Host
It's pretty early. Told someone that you loved him or her? 68% of the teens said, yeah, of course we have. 32% of the parents said, yeah, I'm sure my kid has watched an X rated movie. The teens said, 65% of them have said, yes, we watched an X rated movie. The parents, 25%. Not even on the same plane when.
Birch Show Female Contributor
I was growing up. That's such a boy thing. I think boys are introduced to pornography so early.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Agreed.
Birch Show Female Contributor
You know, like.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
But I did. I watched one as a teenager too. I do too. I've seen one.
Birch Show Host
So I was like some like old, old, old school. Like, I don't even know where Paul got his hands on it, but it was like an old 1968 porn where there was just a. I even remember back then thinking that someone hasn't landscaped in a while. Someone needs to do some topiary.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
I was actually in one when I was a teen.
Birch Show Host
Shut up.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Two hours and 58 minutes.
Birch Show Host
Take the personal day. Just go. Hey, Lori.
Caller/Listener
Hi.
Birch Show Host
Hi. How old are you? I'm good. How old are you?
Caller/Listener
17.
Birch Show Host
Okay, so you're coming from the teens angle on this.
Caller/Listener
Yeah. I think parents can be very naive just because they're. They really don't know. Want to know what their children are doing. I mean, I've had. I'm one of the few virgins in my group of friends. And it's just. It's not as a big of a. As much of a deal as it used to be. Like, it used to be this special thing. But kids today, it's not as important and a special. It's kind of like, oh, it's not a big deal. And they don't think about the consequences about doing that at such a young age. So I think parents think because it was such a. They think it's so special and have so much meaning that they think that their kids take that idea like they did.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
See, I think it's naive to think your parents had. I mean, that all parents, you know, thought that it was something to wait on too. Like I think that every teenage group has the. It's the idea that the parents think that everybody's so innocent, quote unquote. When I mean not every parent, not every parent was innocent when they were that age.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Right now are most of your friends that are sexually active, are they using protection?
Caller/Listener
They have. I don't know if I can say this on air. Not, not all of them. Like in certain cases, yes, but not a hundred percent of the time where I mean I've had a couple of my friends had. Had pregnancy scares because they thought they could get away with not using it that one time.
Birch Show Host
Right? Yeah.
Caller/Listener
And it's always that one.
Birch Show Host
Right? It's always that one time.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Oh well, you know what? It's okay. I mean the odds.
Birch Show Host
Odds of pregnant can't happen to me. Of course some more from this and it's going to get a little bit more graphic here. All right. So I just want to warn you that if you're driving around, you have kids in the car and you don't want to hear about this kind of stuff. Well, check us out in a couple of minutes. Received oral. All right. Teens say 61% have received. Their parents say 10%.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Totally different discrepancy there.
Birch Show Host
Little bit of a discrepancy there. Performed rather than received. The teens 51% said yes. We have parents thinking this about their own teen. Remember this is performed 1%.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Really?
Birch Show Host
My kid would never do that. Never, never, never.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Well, we've talked to teenagers that say that's a lot more common.
Birch Show Host
Yes.
Birch Show Female Contributor
And isn't seen as big of a deal as even one generation ago saw it.
Birch Show Host
Dawn, good morning. You're on Q100.
Caller/Listener
Good morning.
Birch Show Host
Hi.
Caller/Listener
Hey. I have a 16 year old and when she was 15 actually is when she asked me if she could get on birth control pills and I kind of lied to her to get the truth out of her because I know she is. She wouldn't tell me anything. I'm a very nosy mom. But I told her that there were two types of birth control pills. There was one that would clear up acne and then there was one that actually would stop you from getting pregnant. And that I had to know which one if she was active or not to get her the right pill. And she, she told me that she was active and that's how I found out.
Birch Show Host
Look at you, smart mom. This is the 16 year old version of what I did to Hayden and the dog just manipulated your kids to get the truth.
Caller/Listener
That wasn't that was minor compared to the phone call I got from her school, though, later on I got. I mean, this was after she was on the field for a while and she was still dating. She's still dating the same guy. They've been together two years. But I got a phone call from the school. They said that they had taken up her boyfriend's cell phone and that they needed us to come up there because they had taken pictures with the cell phone during. And I didn't want to see them, but my or her father saw them, and he said they were worse than any Hustler book, anything that you've ever seen. He said they were everything.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
They were worse. Her father saw her sex pictures.
Caller/Listener
Not only her father, but apparently several of the teachers in the school.
Birch Show Host
I can't think of a worse nightmare as a parent. I can't think of.
Caller/Listener
It was terrible, but I felt bad. I mean, I know what she did was wrong and what he did was wrong, and it just broke her dad in my heart. But I would hate to, you know, know, being at her age, that my teacher saw that, too.
Birch Show Host
Oh, for sure.
Birch Show Female Contributor
Yeah. I was gonna say your worst nightmare as a teenager. Is that right?
Birch Show Host
I don't know. Maybe. I mean, if you had to choose your parents to see it or one of the teachers to see it, I'd.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Rather have teacher than my dad, for sure. But even though it broke their heart, you know, she knew that she was active and she knew she was dating this guy. And not that it made it any easier, but I just wonder if they had no idea. They thought everything was fine, and then they saw those pictures.
Birch Show Host
It has to be a little less shocking because she knew that her child was having sex, that she didn't know that at all. And then the pictures come in.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
If you're the dad, the.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Okay.
Birch Show Host
Yep. I don't know. I just moved to some Bahamian island. It's not even inhabited. I got me a rowboat and one fishing pole. Hey, Kelly. Good morning.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
You're survivor. Just trying to outlast.
Birch Show Host
Kelly is 13 years old. What's going on, Kelly?
Caller/Listener
Nothing much. Getting ready for school.
Birch Show Host
Thank you for calling. What's up?
Caller/Listener
Well, I just wanted to say that I think there's a lot of pressure because I've had people in my school do something like that, and I'm only 13. I'm only in eighth grade. And I guess, like, she's not really my friend, but I guess you could say she's my acquaintance. And I know that she had pressure from about five guys and eventually did it. But that eventually caused her so much, like, emotion that she had to drop out of school for about four months and homeschool.
Birch Show Host
Look, I'm not. I'm not gonna sit here as an older guy and say, you know what? You can make your own decisions. You have the choice to say no. Just say no. So that kind of social pressure at that age, I understand. It's so intense, and it really takes a strong kid to be able to stand up to that and say, I just can't do this.
Caller/Listener
Yeah.
Birch Show Host
So, like, you can't. I mean, you can't really come down on it. I get it.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Let me ask you a question. Do you think that the pressure would have been less intense had your acquaintance had an open conversation with her parents?
Caller/Listener
Probably her mom, actually. She said that as soon as she came home, she just spilled out to her mom. And that's the first thing she didn't tell the school. She told her mom before her mom actually told the school. And the person that she gave pleasure to what is in jail right now, he's in juby. But there's other reasons he's in it.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Okay.
Birch Show Host
How old was he?
Caller/Listener
He's 13.
Birch Show Host
13. Where did this happen?
Caller/Listener
This happened last year, probably second quarter, so around December.
Birch Show Host
Where did it happen? Did it happen at school? Yeah, it happened at school.
Caller/Listener
Yeah.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Are there any adoption agencies that specialize like in young adults? Like, I'd like to. Could I adopt like a 23 year old somebody just out of college so.
Birch Show Host
You don't have to do all this.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Yeah, somebody could just take care of me in my older years, but I don't really have to deal with.
Birch Show Host
Well, you want to have the child, then just give it away and then take. Take it back at 17, right?
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
Yeah. Well, yeah. If I could have a kid up until age like 6, then ship it.
Birch Show Host
Off to Malawi, see if madame, see.
Birch Show Co-Host (Male)
If Madonna can take it for a while, then pick it back up right after college.
Birch Show Host
There's so many more elements of this survey that I want to get into on Monday morning. We just scratched the surface. But the most shocking one, at least today were the performing and receiving ones. 51% of the team said yes, they have performed going down to Cancun. And only 1% of the parents think that about their kids. Man, this. I'm not gonna preach because I don't have a kid that's a teen yet. But it sure seems to me like when Hayden's that age, it's just all about talking about it and talking about and getting through those ugly, ugly conversations.
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Well, you know, and I don't have any children, but every one he's, you know, that you brought up. I've thought about when I was a teenager, what I did, and parents shouldn't be so naive because look back at what you did.
Birch Show Host
Right?
Birch Show Female Contributor
And I think that it's just so important for teenagers to know they're not gonna get in trouble for talking to you about it. Cause that's why they don' to you about it.
Birch Show Host
Rod the Birch show.
Gift Wrapping Segment Host
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Birch Show Host
Whoa.
Gift Wrapping Segment Host
So is Saldana.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
Hey, can you wrap these please?
Birch Show Co-Host (Female)
Wow.
Gift Wrapping Segment Host
IPhone 17s.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
You splurged at T Mobile. You can get four iPhone 17s on them. The new center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. It's the perfect gift for everyone.
Gift Wrapping Segment Host
I'm the worst. I only got my mom a robe.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
Well, it's better than socks.
Gift Wrapping Segment Host
So I have to trade in my old phone, right?
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
No AT T Mobile. There's no trade ins needed when you switch. Keep your old phone or just it as a gift.
Gift Wrapping Segment Host
Incredible.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
In fact, wrap up my old phone too for my aunt Rosa. Forget that. Aunt Liz will be jealous.
Gift Wrapping Segment Host
Sounds like my family drama.
Verizon/T-Mobile Advertiser
Oh, I got it. I'll give it to my abuela. I'll take reindeer paper with. Hey, where are you going?
Birch Show Host
The holidays are better.
Gift Wrapping Segment Host
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Podcast: The Bert Show
Date: November 19, 2025
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Bert Show Cast
This episode is a classic “real talk” Bert Show morning, centered around relationships, dating lingo, and the sometimes vast generational gap between parents and teens on the topic of sex and romance. The hosts bring their trademark humor and frankness to defining modern dating terminology (“dating dictionary”), address if men and women can truly be platonic “best friends,” and dissect a surprising study about parents’ misunderstandings around teen sexual behavior.
[01:33–14:16]
Terms Previously Defined:
Quote:
“When we started our Bert Show Dating Dictionary, ‘hooking up’ was the first term, and that is defined now—finally—as just making out.” – Co-Host (Female) [01:56]
[03:29–14:16]
Perspectives Shared:
Many women’s “best guy friends” may be ex-boyfriends or romantic backups.
“My best guy friend is a guy that I previously dated and had sex with who is my backup in case I ever break up with my current boyfriend.” – Jessica [05:22]
Other listeners argue a best guy friend can be someone who isn’t attractive enough to date and is purely platonic, though marriages often end such friendships:
The show’s general takeaway: Most “best guy friend” relationships, especially in adulthood, involve past romantic or sexual history.
Notable Back-and-Forth:
[17:01–36:00]
Survey Highlights & Segment Timestamps:
Kissing: 96% of teens say yes; parents estimate only 74%. [18:12–19:27]
Dating: 93% of teens; 68% of parents believe so. [20:26]
French Kissing: 84% of teens; 43% of parents. [20:43–20:53]
Many hosts recall their own early experiences. “How old were you when you first French kissed?” “13 or 14.” [21:10]
Hickeys: 73% of teens; 28% of parents. [22:09]
Buying Contraceptives: 34% of teens say yes; only 7% of parents think so. [24:29–24:48]
I Love You: 68% of teens say they’ve told someone; 32% of parents believe so. [26:07]
Watching X-rated Movies: 65% of teens; 25% of parents admit possibility. [26:52]
Receiving Oral Sex: 61% of teens; parents estimate 10%. [29:19]
Performing Oral Sex: 51% of teens; parents say 1%. [30:03]
Caller Dawn: Explains how she tricked her daughter into revealing sexual activity in order to get the right birth control, only to later be devastated (as was her husband) when nude photos were discovered at school. [30:20–31:59]
Caller Kelly, age 13: Talks about peer pressure at middle school and how her acquaintance felt so shamed after a sexual incident that she dropped out for months. [32:42–34:13]
Both hosts and listeners agree open communication is key—but uncomfortable.
The group agrees that fear of getting in trouble often keeps teens from being honest with parents, which can lead to real-life trouble: STDs, pregnancy, shame, etc.
“My best guy friend is a guy that I previously dated and had sex with who is my backup in case I ever break up with my current boyfriend.” [05:22]
“I know what size they need. I’m very strict: It’s like American Express card, don’t go home without it.” [24:29]
“I can’t think of a worse nightmare as a parent.” – Bert [31:43]
“If you’re calling him your best guy friend, then he wants to have sex with you.” – Co-Host (Male) [11:32]
For more candid insight, laughs, and honest talk about relationships and family life, tune in to The Bert Show daily.