Full Show PT 2: Monday, February 9 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Monday, February 9 [Vault]

Date: February 9, 2026
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting

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Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into the dynamics of making bold life changes in pursuit of love—especially women moving cities to find the right partner—and transitions into a discussion about the tricky etiquette and emotional minefields of attending (or not attending) destination weddings. In a third act, the group explores the perils of gossip among friends, breaking down how to handle toxic friends who don't keep secrets and stir up drama.

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Segment 1: Moving Cities for Love

(00:00–10:56)

Main Discussion

• The cast references a storyline from the "Sex and the City" movie, where Jennifer Hudson's character leaves her hometown for New York City solely in pursuit of love. Bert connects this to his friend's real-life experience of leaving Dallas for Seattle to find a husband—and succeeding.
• The team muses on whether moving for love is a good tactic.
• Listeners call in and share their stories of moving to Atlanta (or elsewhere) to find love—with many happy endings.

Notable Quotes & Caller Highlights

• Bert (Host) [00:38]:
  “She had always thought, you know, Seattle would be a really great city to live in… Maybe she saw something on TV and just, for whatever reason, thought, I bet my man's in Seattle.”
• Bert [01:52]:
  “That's where the men are. And if you did that, did it work for you?”
• Bert [03:17]:
  “I think it's sort of like applying the secret too. It's like just telling the universe what you want.”
• Tony – Caller [04:14]:
  “I came to Atlanta right after a bad breakup, and I didn't come saying specifically, you know, I'm coming for a guy, but I knew in my heart… My husband was here. And… we’re getting married in November.”
• Rachel – Caller [05:10]:
  “I grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah… thought, you know what? My future is in Atlanta. I just had that feeling inside. And so I moved here and met a guy, and five years later, we got married…”
• Janice – Caller [06:34]:
  “She literally spun the globe and said, okay, am I gonna move to New York or Atlanta?... We met at a Waffle House, and we've been together for 10 years.”
• Crystal – Caller [07:37]:
  “I moved from Macon after a bad relationship to find somebody, and I did. I’m getting married July 19th… I was leaving a Target one day, and this guy... runs me over... then he asked me out for coffee, and we’ve been together ever since.”

Insights

• Many callers affirm that relocating with the hope of finding love can work out.
• The cast discusses whether anyone would actually admit they moved specifically “for a man,” agreeing there’s still some stigma or embarrassment.
• Humorous touch: Unexpected meet-cutes—like nearly being run over at a Target—are part of the charm.

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Segment 2: Destination Wedding Dilemmas

(11:06–23:40)

Main Discussion

• Susan, a listener, is struggling with the financial burden of attending her brother’s destination wedding in Aruba.
• The cast and callers debate etiquette, fairness, and possible solutions (e.g. splitting costs, getting extra jobs, or having frank family conversations).

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Susan – Caller [11:31]:
  “Basically, my brother… has decided to go off and get married in Aruba, which is probably the most expensive Caribbean island to go to. …It would cost myself and my husband about $3,000 to get there.”
• Bert [12:58]:
  “That is a lot of money. I mean, you shouldn’t have to go into debt to see your brother get married.”
• Bert [14:07]:
  “If the word on the street is that he’s getting $30,000 for the wedding, is it inappropriate to go to your brother and say I would really, really like to attend your wedding, but I just can’t afford it?”
• Caller Advice [21:09]:
  “If their schedules allow, I think that both of them should get part time jobs because if the wedding’s in the fall, they have enough time to earn the cash.”
• Bert [22:52]:
  “Well, you’ve got three options. Either you find another way to get income, you sit your brother down and tell him what’s going on… or you just tell him you can’t go.”

Insights

• The cast explores modern vs. old-school wedding etiquette, recognizing that destination weddings frequently exclude guests due to unavoidable expenses.
• The consensus is that communication—even though uncomfortable—should be the first step before drastic sacrifices.
• The conversation is practical but empathetic; the group supports Susan’s wish to be there but validates her financial reality.

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Segment 3: The Problem with Gossip

(23:57–33:54)

Main Discussion

• The hosts reflect on a dilemma: how to handle a friend who is a “hardcore gossiper.”
• Discussion about whether to confront the gossiper, warn the person being gossiped about, or avoid both.
• One host recounts their experience of informing the gossiped-about friend, which backfired when the two confronted the gossiper—and she (the gossiper) then lashed out at the whistleblower.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Cassie [24:28]:
  “It’s not like the fun type of gossip… It’s like hardcore, you know, gossip about like, I mean, serious heavy stuff.”
• Bert [25:46]:
  “The advice was go to the person spreading the gossip. But we both realized that it’d backfire. ... Having that kind of confrontational conversation, it’s just not in your nature.”
• Cassie [27:01]:
  “Then the gossiper has now called me and read me the riot act.”
• Bert [33:31]:
  “I’ve said this a million times. That we really do not evolve from the ninth grade.”
• Kristin [33:39]:
  “It really is ninth grade stuff. ... Cut out the negative energy, let it go. Because you know what? People who hold on to negativity, it’s them wasting their energy on it, not me.”

Insights

• Addressing gossip is always a risk—with the real possibility of friend group fallout, “Mean Girls” style.
• The show debates whether it’s more important to protect someone from malicious gossip or to maintain neutrality to avoid conflict.
• The conclusion: sometimes losing a toxic friend is preferable to being complicit in their behavior. The group shares practical wisdom about boundaries and mental well-being.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Start Time | Highlighted Topics | |-----------------------------------------------|------------|---------------------------------------------------------| | Moving cities for love | 00:00 | Personal/literary examples, caller stories | | Best/worst reasons to move for relationships | 03:17 | Manifestation, “the secret,” friend success stories | | More caller stories—unexpected meet-cutes | 06:32 | Waffle House encounter, Target incident | | The generational angle | 10:37 | “Mrs. Degree,” college, changing social expectations | | Destination weddings—money and etiquette | 11:06 | Susan’s Aruba conundrum, family support, etiquette | | Etiquette, solutions, consensus | 14:07 | Splitting costs, what’s fair, family dynamics | | Possible solutions/call wrap-up | 22:52 | Communication, options, self-sacrifice | | Navigating gossip and toxic friend groups | 23:57 | Approaches to gossip, friend loyalty, risk of blowback | | Fallout from confronting gossip | 27:01 | Getting “read the riot act,” relational consequences | | Final thoughts on friendship/gossip | 33:31 | Letting go of negativity, lessons learned |

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Tone & Language

The conversational tone is upbeat, relatable, occasionally irreverent, and peppered with humor. The cast isn’t afraid to tease one another or poke holes in social conventions, but there’s persistent empathy—especially for callers. Celebrations, commiserations, and casual banter are woven throughout, creating a sense of inclusion and camaraderie.

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Memorable Moments

• “She was either destined to die that day or to fall in love. Right?”
  • [08:39], Bert, on the caller nearly being run over in a Target parking lot.
• “Our grandmother’s generation would have said that’s the reason they went to college, to get their Mrs. Degree.”
  • [10:37], Kristin.
• “We really do not evolve from the ninth grade.”
  • [33:31], Bert, summarizing the perennial nature of drama within friend groups.

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This episode is packed with audience participation, practical (and sometimes cheeky) advice, and showcases The Bert Show’s signature blend of authenticity and humor, making the show as much about real talk as it is about entertainment.

Transcript

[A]

The Bird Show. So we were all at the Sex and the City premiere, a couple. And I'm being very, very careful about giving out important details of this movie, but there was one storyline there that I focused on because I had a friend that sort of went through the exact same thing. And I'm wondering if this is a good technique to find a man or not. Jennifer Hudson's character, I'm not giving anything away here, specifically moves to New York City to find love. She comes from St. Louis. That's where she grew up. And didn't have any luck dating in St. Louis. So she decides, you know what? If I'm gonna find a good man, it's gonna be outside my own city. And she gives up everything and she moves to New York City just in hopes to find a man. All right. I had the same thing happen to a friend of ours in Dallas. She's about, I guess, at that time, 26, 27 years old, and had lived in Dallas for a while. And priority number one for her was to fall in love and get married and have kids. That's just the way that's what she wanted. It wasn't happening for her in Dallas, so she gave up everything. And she had always thought, you know, Seattle would be a really great city to live in. Maybe she saw something on tv, but she had never been to Seattle before, really. Maybe she saw something on TV and just, for whatever reason, thought, I bet my man's in Seattle.

[B]

Pointed at the map and said, that's all I wanted.

[A]

Pointed at the map, and she moved. She picked up within weeks.

[B]

Really.

[A]

She picked up, left her life behind in Dallas and moved to Seattle.

[C]

That's funny.

[A]

And found a man and got married and has two kids right now.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

So I am curious if there is.

[C]

Any someone called that destiny. Burt.

[A]

I know. I wasn't gonna go there, but we can. But I'm wondering if anybody has done that or do it.

[C]

I mean, if there's anybody in Atlanta right now who moved here because they were in another city and decided Atlanta is where my future exists.

[A]

That's where the men are. And if you did that, did it work for you? Still looking.

[C]

The ratio of women to man is 47 to 1 here.

[D]

Well, it could be a situation where somebody was outside of this region and decided they want a Southern man, you know, or something about Southern men. Or maybe even saw a character in a movie and thought, you know what? He is the type of guy I want. And so this being a major city here in the south, that's why they moved to Atlanta because they want a good Southern man.

[A]

Or I'm wondering if we'll get more calls from women that know other women that left Atlanta and went to another city looking for a good man and found them there and couldn't find them here. Maybe because there is a theory. There is a theory, it's a business theory that you burn all bridges behind you when you're looking to make a change everything you, like, burn the village so there's no safety net at all. And it forces you into coming out of your box all the time. Like, there's nothing to fall back on. Like, when you move to Seattle from Atlanta and you know nobody, you have no family, you have no job, you have one goal, and that is to find a man, and that is priority number one. And you leave everything else behind that you're so uber focused on, that one thing that in my friend Jean's case, it was completely successful.

[D]

Yeah, I. I can't imagine her saying anything saying that, though, when she meets people. Like, if you went on a date and you're like, oh, so what brought you to Atlanta? Love. I wanna find love. I wanna get married.

[B]

Whoa, hey.

[A]

Okay, well, maybe it's at the next table, but it's not right here.

[B]

But, I mean, I think it's sort of like applying the secret too. It's like just telling the universe what you want. But, Melissa, didn't you tell us about a friend of yours that said, I will be married within the year? And she didn't even have a boyfriend or anything at that point, but she sure enough met somebody and was married before the end of that year.

[D]

Yeah, there was a friend of ours who. That exact scenario. She had done the Landmark Forum, though, so it's very secret. Ish. And she felt that that was the case. Now, whether that. I mean, as far as I know, she's still married. As far as I know, she has at least one child with him, if not more. But by the end of that year, she found the guy and she got married to him and she had children with him.

[C]

Really?

[A]

So if you know a woman that has moved to Atlanta or you're that woman specifically looking for a guy, and you just left everything behind, has it worked out for you? Or do you know, do you have a friend that specifically moved to another city just looking for a guy, did it work out or not? Good morning, Tony, you're on Q100.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

Hi.

[E]

I love your show.

[A]

Thank you.

[E]

I came to Atlanta right after a bad breakup, and I didn't come saying specifically, you know, I'm coming for a guy, But I knew in my heart.

[F]

My husband was here.

[C]

Mm.

[E]

And. And we're getting married November.

[D]

Congratulations.

[C]

Getting married in November.

[A]

So you met a guy.

[E]

Yep.

[A]

And it's all worked out just the way you thought it would?

[E]

Pretty much. It was hard getting there, but when I found him, I was like, yeah, that's one. And it totally was.

[A]

Really? And it worked out?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Congratulations.

[A]

I think you guys are gonna find a pattern here, and I thought we might.

[D]

Well, I mean, it's. No, she did not specifically move to Atlanta for a man. She just came here after a bad breakup, so.

[A]

And said that she thought in her heart her man would be in Atlanta. And it worked. Hey, Rachel. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[E]

Good morning.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

Hi.

[E]

I grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah, and right when I graduated from high school, I thought, you know what? My future is in Atlanta. I just had that feeling inside. And so I moved here and met a guy, and five years later, we got married, and we've been married for a year and a half.

[D]

So when you knew your future was in Atlanta, what about Atlanta? Did you know? Had you ever been here before?

[E]

I've never been here before.

[F]

I just.

[E]

I mean, just like you guys were.

[F]

Saying, I just looked at the map.

[E]

And Atlanta, here I come.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

So no friends, no family, no job, and Atlanta just stood out, and you moved and everything's worked out.

[E]

Yeah, I moved and figured things out along the way.

[B]

Great.

[D]

Congratulations.

[B]

That's amazing.

[A]

People must have been telling you, and your family must have been telling you in Utah. You out of your mind. You just don't move across the country on a whim.

[E]

Oh, yeah, they were. They thought I was out of my mind completely.

[A]

It's worked out.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Congratulations.

[G]

Thank you.

[A]

I still don't think we found one person here that specifically moved with just a guy in mind. Like, did she move here with just looking for a man in mind?

[C]

It might be tough to get people to admit that they're gonna say that I moved here because. Whatever. But I think you're gonna have a hard time getting people to say, I came here to find a man.

[D]

Yeah. Cause, I mean, her future would, I'm sure, incorporated her family.

[A]

Hey, Janice, you're on Q100.

[E]

Hi, Bert.

[F]

Hi, Melissa and Jan and Jeff.

[C]

Hey, what's up?

[A]

Hey.

[F]

I have been married to a girl for 10 years, and she literally spun the globe and said, okay, am I gonna move to New York or Atlanta? And she Says, for some reason, I wanted to move to Atlanta. So she moved to Atlanta. We met at a Waffle House, and we've been together for 10 years.

[D]

See what the Waffle House does for you? So she had physically spun a globe and narrowed down where she was going to move?

[H]

Yep.

[F]

She was in a bad relationship, and she said she was tired of the women in Seattle. And she said for some reason she wanted to move to Atlanta. And actually, when she was packing up, she went to a psychic, and the psychic told her, she said, you're going to find somebody in Atlanta that finishes your sentences, and you guys are going to be together forever. And so she said that was like the icing on the cake. So she moved here. We met at the Waffle House, and we've been together ever since.

[D]

Very nice.

[A]

Congratulations on the story. Thank you for calling.

[E]

Thanks. Bye.

[A]

And there's plenty more like that. Hey, Crystal, you're on Q100.

[E]

Hey.

[G]

Hi.

[E]

I moved from Macon after a bad relationship to find somebody, and I did. I'm getting married July 19th.

[B]

Congratulations.

[A]

It's not as romantic as it's still in Georgia, but still. You moved from Macon to Atlanta specifically to find a guy?

[E]

Yes. And you would not believe the way I met him.

[A]

Okay. At Waffle House.

[E]

I was leaving on no, but I did hear that. That is funny. I was leaving a Target one day, and this guy pulls out in his.

[F]

Little sports car and runs me over.

[E]

And I'm, like, sitting there screaming at him, and he rolls down the window and he apologizes. And then he asked me out for coffee, and we've been together ever since.

[B]

He almost ran over you?

[C]

What made you decide to say yes to the coffee?

[F]

I had just been so stressed out.

[E]

I live with my best friend and.

[F]

Her boyfriend, and I was so tired.

[E]

Of, like, sitting there with them all the time, being all cutesy with each other. So I was like, okay, well, I'm.

[F]

Just gonna go, you know, just do something.

[E]

And when I met him, I don't.

[F]

Know, something just told me to go.

[E]

Out with him, and here I am.

[A]

She was either destined to die that day or to fall in love. Right?

[C]

Well, he didn't kill me, so I will at least go to Starbucks with him.

[A]

Christina, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[F]

Good morning, guys.

[A]

Hey.

[E]

Hi.

[F]

I actually moved from San Francisco to Atlanta last May because the men I were. I was dating in California just weren't ready for something serious.

[E]

And I was so packed up my.

[F]

Stuff, came here and figured this would.

[H]

Be a good place.

[F]

It was Affordable, cost wise, job wise. There was plenty of jobs. And I ended up, actually, I'm Greek, and I was looking for somebody specifically.

[E]

Who was Greek as well.

[F]

Greek American or, you know, just some. Something Greek. And I actually met somebody who was from Greece here.

[C]

Oh, wow, that's cool.

[E]

Yeah, so we.

[F]

We've been dating for six months, and so far, so good. But that was the purpose of me moving. And when I told my friends and.

[E]

Family that, you know, yeah, I have.

[F]

A good job in California.

[E]

Yeah, I have a good life, but.

[F]

There'S something missing, and I'm not finding what I'm looking for here, so I need to go after what I want. And there's more Greeks on the east.

[E]

Coast than they're on the West Coast.

[F]

And I just didn't want to live in New York. I wanted someplace warm, someplace affordable. So here I am.

[D]

I'm just imagining her going through the research for it, like in some report or magazine that lists the most affordable cities, and she narrowed it down to those cities, and then she just kind of put a star by Atlanta and did more research. So here you are.

[F]

Well, there's a lot of Greek churches here, for one. So that guy told me, okay, if there's three Greek churches in the metro area, that means there's probably Greeks here, and there's an abundance of South African.

[E]

Greeks and a lot of Greeks who.

[F]

Are going to school here.

[C]

At least you're not specific about what you were looking for.

[A]

I'm trying to pigeonhole yourself here.

[C]

And their name needs to rhyme with baklava.

[A]

You know, we could have done this for another 20 minutes. Calls from. Moved here because I was unhappy with the men in Houston. Moved to Atlanta, married now Minneapolis to Atlanta, found my man.

[B]

Our grandmother's generation would have said that's the reason they went to college, to get their Mrs.

[C]

Degree.

[B]

Yeah, that's what Dee Dee always says, is they went to get their Mrs. Degree.

[A]

So I don't know what the message here is, but again, we could do this for another 20 minutes from people saying they specifically moved to Atlanta looking for a man, and now they're married Southern boys.

[D]

Yeah. And the women here talk about there's no good men in Atlanta. People are moving over because all the.

[C]

Girls from Houston are taking them. All the girls from Seattle are taking them.

[D]

Seattle.

[A]

The Bird Show. You want to see your brother, your sister get married, but they start throwing up all these financial obstacles for you, and at one point, you just got to go, I can't do this. I can't do It. And that's where Susan's at right now. Good morning, Susan. You are on Q100.

[E]

Good morning, guys. Help me.

[A]

Okay, what's going on?

[E]

Well, I'll give you the CliffsNotes version. Basically, my brother, in order to make his life easier, has decided to go off and get married in Aruba, which is probably the most expensive Caribbean island to go to. And right now, it would cost myself and my husband about $3,000 to get there. So we're a very frugal people.

[A]

$3,000 is a lot of money to anybody.

[E]

I mean, we have not been on a vacation since we've been married, except we did one of those free timeshare things where we had to go listen to a timeshare. You know, I mean, that's the kind of people we are. So I don't know what to do.

[A]

So it's gonna cost you three grand. And have you talked to your brother about it yet, or are you calling, asking now how you should handle it with the family?

[E]

Well, yeah, kind of. Because the thing is, like, when I got married, you know, there was always that person that, you know, had a problem with whatever decision you made, and I don't want to be that person. And I want to be the person calling him and causing him more stress, you know, like, you know, I don't want to be the whiner, because apparently we're the only ones who have problems coming up with $3,000.

[G]

Right.

[C]

You're the only ones vocalizing it.

[A]

Right.

[C]

But right now, when it costs you 100 bucks to fill up your gas tank, everybody. Everybody's running into a problem coming up with a few grand.

[E]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, we can put it on our credit card, sure. But, I mean, I don't want to pay 10% of $3,000 for, you know, the next six years.

[A]

That is a lot of money. I mean, you shouldn't have to go into debt to see your brother get married.

[E]

Right? Exactly.

[B]

Now, did they specifically plan it in Aruba so that it would be small?

[E]

Yeah, my brother is very afraid of confrontation, and they were having a hard time narrowing down the list.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

So he and his fiance said, oh, well, if we go to Aruba, the list is already narrowed. Forest and her parents said, oh, we'll give you all the money we were going to spend on a wedding here if you'll get married there, and we'll give you our condo that we have in Aruba for you to use. So they are getting everything covered and making money on the deal.

[A]

So essentially, how Much is your brother getting from his future in laws to do this wedding in Aruba?

[E]

Okay. The word on the street, I can not confirm is like $30,000.

[A]

30,000?

[E]

I mean, I don't know. That's just, you know, through the family rumor mill.

[A]

So.

[B]

So as of right now, how many people are gonna attend?

[E]

I think like probably 30.

[B]

And that's just relatives and that's just family members now. Have you talked to your parents about it? What do they have to say?

[E]

They would love to help me out, but currently they're helping my brother out with his bill because he's in real estate.

[A]

Well, let me ask you this, this seems like a pretty obvious question. If the word on the street is that he's getting $30,000 for the wedding, is it inappropriate to go to your brother and say I would really, really like to attend your wedding, but I just can't afford it. Don't ask him to pay for it. But if you know that he's getting 30 grand for having the wedding in Aruba, wouldn't he volunteer and just go, look, it's important for me to have you there.

[C]

But she said that's one of the first things she said is she doesn't want to be that person giving him another headache.

[A]

Well, do you want to be that person that just doesn't show up to your brother's wedding? Because it doesn't even sound like it's an option.

[E]

Well, there is a fallback plan, sort of. My sister is a flight attendant, so I could fly standby by myself and you know, sleep on a cot in my parents hotel room I suppose and save some money. But you know, I want my husband to go. I don't want to fly standby. I'm a teacher. So I'm going to have to get a sub because this is in the fall and I don't want to find standby to Aruba could take days.

[B]

Right.

[E]

You know, so I mean I could do that. That's like last case scenario. I would probably rather do that before like calling my brother and you know, being that family member. So I don't know. But I also don't really feel like, you know, at almost 30 years old I want to be camping out in my parents hotel room.

[D]

Right, well, and then you said the wedding's not until November.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

I wonder if there's another relative that would be going because I was thinking you could go by yourself and cut the costs in half. I mean, I know that's not the best plan ever.

[E]

Well, and then, but Then my husband's like, well, I don't want to end up going into debt for your vacation. I don't even get to go.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

I've said on the shelf also, like on your wedding day, that is like the one day in your life that you're allowed to be completely and totally selfish. I'm taking that back.

[C]

This is.

[A]

I mean, it's such. I mean, I think it's fair to say that you can be selfish on that day.

[C]

I mean, I think I understand where she's coming from, that she doesn't want to be a burden or a nuisance to him. I also don't think there's anything wrong with what Bert said about giving him the heads up and going, hey, I don't want you to be shocked when a month before your wedding you find out, I'm not going, but my husband, Joe and I, or whatever your husband's name is, we just can't afford to. To pull this off. I do think that's fair, but I think you have to sacrifice yourself on someone else's wedding day.

[D]

Well, and the reason I ask about November is because there may be a listener email that'll come in that'll say, well, can you do anything or sell anything between now and then to get the money?

[E]

Can I sell anything personally?

[D]

Because, I mean, it's four months. Four months about away.

[E]

I mean, yeah. I mean, I could sell my grandmother's diamond ring she left me, but I don't really. Well, I mean, want to do that? Yeah. My eggs.

[A]

Roberto, you're on Q100. What's going on?

[G]

Hey, how's it going? I know when I got married, my mother in law was very much into etiquette. And at the time she said that all hotel accommodations, things like that, were to be paid by the bride's family. So I don't know if that would. You're not buying a plane ticket.

[A]

That sure makes sense. That makes common sense to me. Like, if you're gonna be the one that says, look, I want to get married in Italy, and you want all your, your family there, then maybe in those costs is you have to pay for their hotel room there.

[G]

Exactly.

[A]

That makes sense to me.

[B]

It's pretty old school etiquette, though, because a lot of people have destination weddings now. A lot of people have, you know, nobody gets married in their hometown necessarily anymore, and everyone all lives there. Because I think a lot of those old etiquette wedding rules applied when you and your fiance were from the same hometown. And it Would be a rare thing for people to have to travel to get there. Now it's more common for people to leave home and then everyone travel back to the hometown to get married. You know what I mean?

[A]

That's a pain in the butt.

[B]

It's just like a. It's just kind of an old school etiquette thing.

[A]

Hey, kayla, you're on Q100.

[B]

Apply to people now.

[F]

Oh, I just want to tell you all I love your show. I listen to it every morning, and I've never been able to get on here.

[A]

Glad you did.

[D]

Now you're here.

[E]

Thank you. I was just gonna say, you know.

[F]

Her brother's getting $30,000. Of course he's gonna be able to.

[H]

Give her a little bit if it's.

[F]

Really that important for her to be there.

[A]

I think you got. I'm with her. I think you have to, like, not ask for the money. But I. I mean, you're being completely authentic with him saying that. It's putting a tremendous financial strain on you. So if you tell him that, I don't see how he couldn't volunteer that cash to you.

[D]

Is it an older or younger brother?

[E]

He's older.

[D]

I mean, I think that's. I mean, I'm the baby.

[E]

That's why I don't have the money.

[D]

Because I think it's a more comfortable conversation if it's an older sibling and say, you know what? I just. I don't know if I can. If I can pull this off.

[A]

Do you get along with his fiance?

[E]

Oh, yeah, Very well.

[A]

So you guys are, like, tight?

[E]

Yes, probably tighter than my sister and I are, and I haven't known her that long.

[C]

Oh, you tell them both, then send them both down?

[A]

Yeah, I think so.

[D]

Do you think that anybody else, though, has said something to him? I mean, it can be just you that's having an issue with paying for the trip.

[E]

I don't know. My mom makes me feel like it's only me because I have a couple cousins, but their parents are paying for them, and they're older than me, and they don't have money, but their parents have money, so they're like, oh, we'll pay for you. So I kind of felt my parents would, you know, help me out. But why are you afraid to talk.

[B]

To your brother about it?

[A]

She says she don't want to be that pain in the butt.

[E]

Well, and he's. He's having. He's really stressed right now because he's a builder and things aren't going so well as you know, in the real estate world. So he's got a lot of stuff going on with that.

[B]

Are you afraid, Are you afraid that he's going to say, okay, don't come?

[E]

No, no, I definitely wouldn't say that. Like I said, he's very not confrontational. So he would. I just don't want him to. I don't want any more stress to him, basically.

[D]

I do appreciate that you. You're thinking about him, though, that you're hesitant to talk to him.

[A]

I think you got to sit him down. Hey, Brian, you're on Q100.

[G]

How y' all doing?

[A]

All right. What's up, man?

[G]

Everything. I just want to say that, you know, my cousin's getting married in Mexico actually next month, and they're having a destination wedding. I think it's just for, you know, it's more. When people have destination weddings, they have it just for themselves. They understand when family members can't come, most of my family aren't gonna be able to go. And he understands that if you have a, you know, wedding anywhere in the states here that people are able to go to and it's not as expensive, you know, it's not. It's harder to understand people not coming than, you know, spending thousands of dollars just to go.

[A]

Yeah. And he's saying it's implied also, like a destination wedding, you just assume that some people aren't going to be able to make it. But not your sister.

[D]

But yeah, that was your cousin. This is her brother. So I think it's a little different.

[A]

Just take one more.

[D]

Can't miss your brother's wedding.

[A]

One or two more calls. Hey, Tanika.

[E]

Hey, how are you guys?

[A]

Good morning. Thanks for calling.

[F]

Wonderful.

[E]

I love your show.

[D]

Thank you.

[F]

Yeah, I just have a really quick comment. If their schedules allow, I think that both of them should get part time.

[E]

Jobs because if the wedding's in the.

[F]

Fall, they have enough time to earn the cash.

[A]

It just seems like, I mean, to have to put yourself through that kind of stress. I don't know, but I think Debbie's on board with that also. Hey, Debbie.

[E]

Hey there.

[F]

I was going back.

[H]

I think it was Melissa that was saying, you know, get another job. She's got five months and it doesn't sound like she's got kids. So, I mean, go out and get a second job, work on the nights, work on the weekends. Her husband can do the same thing. They can get a job together and, you know, save up the money for the next six months, then it's not an issue.

[A]

So Strain. She should strain herself and get a couple of part time jobs to try to earn money to a wedding that she can't afford to go to.

[E]

Yeah, if she wants to go.

[H]

And she sounds like she really wants to go. She loves her brother, wants to be there, but she doesn't have the money. So this is the way to get the money. She earns it instead of waiting for somebody to turn around and give her a handout.

[D]

I mean, AKA she could split the difference and talk to her brother. But say, in the meantime, I'm going to try to do my best to get what I can, but you know, I may not be able to get the whole thing. But that's why I brought up it's four or five months away.

[A]

Is that an option for you?

[E]

It's maybe for me, but not my husband. He's getting ready to start his mba, so I mean, that's going to be his part time job.

[C]

What if you went just like, what if you got a job at the Cheetah and you could just do like a month?

[E]

Well, first I had to save up for the implants, but.

[B]

Susan, what about tutoring? You said you're a teacher?

[E]

Yeah, actually my husband and I talked about that before, but not for this. For money to pay off our student loans, not to pay for a trip to Aruba, you know, so, I mean, I guess that's something. But you have to find the people to tutor, which, you know, I don't really know how to go about doing that.

[A]

Well, you've got three options. Okay, here are the three options. Either you find another way to get income in order to afford it. You either sit your brother down and tell him what's going on in hopes that he volunteers, or you just tell him that you can't go. I mean, those are your three options.

[D]

That's all you got?

[A]

That's it. So pick door. One, two or three?

[E]

Yeah, right now I'm leaning towards two. I think.

[A]

Sit them down and tell them. I think that's the best way to go. I think that if they're getting 30 grand for this wedding, I think if you authentically sit them down and go, this is just putting too much of a strain on me. You're a sister. He's gonna say, don't worry, I'll cover it.

[C]

If he says, I'll cover half if you can cover the other half. Is that fair?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, you may do that.

[E]

Yeah, I would do that.

[A]

I want to know what happens after you talk to him.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Good luck.

[E]

Thanks.

[A]

Those conversations are hard. But I want to put you on hold. I want to talk to you again. Will you call us back?

[E]

I sure will.

[A]

You're not going to have that talk with him, are you?

[E]

Yes, I am. I just don't know when.

[A]

The Birch show.

[B]

Do you remember when Jeff came on the air with us? It was maybe what, a week ago, and I think we talked about this fairly early, but he said he was struggling with how to handle a situation.

[C]

You know, in my circle, there's one person who I've kind of cut loose because they tend to gossip quite a bit and. And it just got fatiguing because every conversation you would have with this person, it would become. And it's not like the fun type of gossip, like.

[E]

Right.

[C]

Fun, light hearted gossip. It's like hardcore, you know, gossip about like, I mean, serious heavy stuff. You know how sometimes there's gossip like around the office, like who's dating who, but then there's gossip around the office, it's like heavier and deeper and all this other stuff and who's about to get fired and all that type of thing. This is really heavy stuff.

[D]

Things you don't want to know.

[C]

Yeah. And then it got to the point where I knew that the gossiper, the person telling the gossip was just making stuff up. And I knew because I knew other people in the group intimately.

[A]

And I'm like, now this is somebody within the group spreading rumors about others in the group or someone on the outside looking at it.

[C]

Yeah. If it's a big. I mean, make a big group. It's not like the tight knit. Not like, you know how you probably have a couple different circles of groups. It's one of the bigger groups in my world. And it's just like, you know what? Like, I know you like to gossip and stuff, but you're making up things now just for attention and you're taking stuff that could, you know, possibly be true and you're just making them hardcore. It just got nasty. So I was asking y' all for advice on whether I confront the gossiper or I go to the person who's being lied about and give them a heads up about the gossiper. And I can't remember what advice y' all gave me or what I decided to do at the end of that, but obviously it didn't work for hobby, so I'm glad I waited.

[A]

I think the advice was go to the person spreading the gossip. But we all. But we both realized that it'd backfire. Yeah. Or that's not you. Like you Having that kind of confrontational conversation, it's just not in your nature.

[B]

But I think we did talk about the fact that you would tell, or at least somebody in here said you would tell the person that was being gossiped about.

[C]

Hey, I just want to get you.

[B]

To know who you're dealing with here. Like, you might think this person is a good friend of yours, but they're not. Well, I had almost the exact same situation happen.

[C]

So glad you did this first. So glad. So glad that I haven't taken any action.

[B]

It kind of backfired because the gossiper had been. And this is more of an inner circle, but so closer to the person that was being gossiped about. I talked to the person who was being gossiped about and said, I just want you to know who you're dealing with with here. Here's what's been said. You don't know this, but this could potentially have a domino effect in a lot of different ways in your life. Here it is. And so this is what's being said. So then the person being talked about eventually went back to the person who was doing the gossiping, the gossiper. And then the gossiper has now called me and read me the riot act.

[C]

Why would you share this information with him? It was a conversation between you and I. Blah, blah, blah.

[A]

Why did gossip person being gossiped about go back to gossiper and say, Chen Hobby told me.

[D]

Yeah, this seems like they sold you.

[A]

Out because they sold you out.

[D]

It'd be like, I could see where you'd be upset at the gossiper and go and confront them. But I don't know if I would have called out who told me.

[B]

You might have to think there was any other way. Yeah, I don't think there was any other way to tell the story. I don't blame the person who was being talked about. Let's just put it that way. I don't blame them for including me in the confrontation because I think there was no other way for them to confront them to know.

[A]

So what happened when that person called you?

[B]

I got read the riot act and hung up on.

[C]

Oh, you got hung up on.

[A]

Damn. Not even a response.

[B]

I mean, there was a little bit of a conversation, but not much of it on my end. And I got hung up on.

[D]

She was, why do they have a right to be mad?

[B]

Well, that's what my question is.

[A]

I mean, is it my question or he. She. She felt like it was a breach for you or he to go to somebody else, and that's why they were Upset.

[D]

But if they were talking about that person and it was of a concern enough for you to go to the person being talked about, then the gossiper should realize that. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I don't know the situation, but if it was enough for you to be concerned.

[B]

You guys looking at me trying to figure out who it is.

[D]

No, if it's enough for Jen to be concerned than the gossiper saying something that shouldn't be said in the first place.

[B]

It was mean.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So I just want to make sure I'm following this accurately. There's. Let's create a person named Julie is telling you all sorts of stories about another girl named Samantha. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

You go to Samantha and say, I just want to let you know what Julie's saying.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Then Samantha goes to Julie, and then Julie circles back around and slaps you in the head. And Julie's the one who hung up on you. Right. All right.

[D]

Have you told Samantha about Julie doing that?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Awesome.

[A]

How's Samantha cutting off Julie?

[D]

Silent circle of gossip.

[E]

And I feel like I'm doing this.

[B]

My initial reaction to getting blasted was, okay, maybe I shouldn't have said anything. But then after getting hung up on and after the conversation, I'm like, well, wait, this was the person who was in the wrong in the first place. Why do I feel bad about letting them know what was going on?

[A]

I'm assuming that you made a decision in your head also that do is the person that's doing the gossiping. Is that a close enough friend to me that if I lose them, it's really gonna affect me, or what's the big deal?

[B]

Or if they're the type of person that can do that, do I really want them as my friend anyway?

[A]

So you must have said to yourself, okay, not a big deal if I lose this person. Plus, I'm protecting a friend, so I'm doing the right thing. Not a big sacrifice.

[B]

It's kind of what I mean. I think it is a sacrifice, but if they had the capability to do what they did and say what they said, damn, then I don't want them in my friend group anymore.

[C]

Have you started?

[B]

I don't know what she said. I want to know what Julie said.

[C]

Have you started to do the processing yet of this Julie person, the gossiper, what they're now saying about you?

[A]

Oh, they're destroying you behind the scenes here.

[B]

They're destroying you, I'm sure.

[A]

But, God, these are so mean. Girls.

[C]

And. Okay, hold on, because Burt brought this up and this was another thing that actually frightened me. But Burt brought this up using the same characters, the cast, in your world.

[B]

Okay, so Samantha.

[C]

Samantha's the one being talked about, being a gospel. When you went to Samantha, did she come back to you with anything like, oh, yeah, well, guess what? This is what she's been saying about you.

[D]

Cause Burt pointed out initially in the initial conversation.

[B]

In the initial conversation, I think it was shock, wanting more clarity about exactly what happened and exactly what was said, and then she was thankful.

[C]

But did she ever come back to you and say at any point, not maliciously, but say, funny, funny story. It's interesting you tell me that. Funny.

[B]

Did she bring up.

[A]

Yes, she did do that.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So this same girl is gossiping about everybody in the group.

[B]

The same person is.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, I think the thing is, though, a gossiper who has vicious gossip is doing that. That's how they live their life. You know, I think you're.

[B]

Because it's more of a concern with everyone else's life rather than your own. Yeah.

[D]

And they're not just gossiping about one person. Their conversation with everybody involves gossip about people.

[A]

I've seen this in groups before in social groups, too. And both. I think both are guilty of this. Men and women, that they all. Everybody hangs out, and everybody is so nice to each other's faces. But then when they're separated from the bigger group and they're in their sub packs, they all talk so much crap about each other.

[B]

I think everybody talks about everything.

[C]

The smaller circles talk about the bigger circles.

[A]

Then when the larger circle gets along, everybody's like, boyfriend, girlfriend.

[B]

I do think brother, sister is. I mean, everybody sort of talks about what's going on in everyone's life or. Or thinking about. Women love to overanalyze people's decisions. They make this decision, right, whatever. But it's never mean or vicious. And that's where, to me, it stepped over the line of, you needed to know that this is mean and vicious.

[C]

So would you have done the same thing over again?

[B]

I think now, looking back on it, even after getting blasted and hung up on and that relationship being over, I think I would because I place the value on the person who. Who was being talked about more so because I don't think that that person would do the same thing to anyone else. You know what I mean?

[A]

Are you tighter now with the person that was being gossiped about?

[B]

I mean, I don't think instantly. I mean, I think we're close anyway, so it wasn't that. It was just going To a song.

[D]

So we can ask her off air. Who is it?

[A]

What they say, let's gossip about the gospel.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's not, you know, the scenario or whatever or, like the advice that, you know, we were talking about with Jeff's whole situation before. But it's just that it's funny how it instantly became a reality in my life. And the decision I made was not to go to the gossiper. It was to go to the one being gossiped about.

[C]

And had I now, was there any concern. Because I'm asking you about. Was there any concern that the gossipers just taking nerds. Yeah. That the gossiper and the gossipee. So in your scenario, the Julie and the Samantha were closer than you and the other two, so that they would form an alliance against you and you'd be. And they would be like, form an.

[B]

Alliance, like a survivor.

[C]

It'd be like, oh, my God, she's crazy.

[B]

It would depend on everybody's situation. I didn't think so in this case, but certainly that could have happened. Absolutely. But it was just saying, like, if you go through with this, it's a major risk because you could lose one or the other or both.

[C]

You are my guru of gossip. Thank you for the knowledge you've given me.

[A]

I've said this a million times. That we really do not evolve from the ninth grade.

[C]

Only gossip.

[A]

We just don't evolve. I mean, it's all the same crap that we've been dealing with since the ninth grade now.

[B]

It really is ninth grade stuff. Yeah. So it's just one of those things. Cut out the negative energy, let it go. Because you know what? People who hold on to negativity, it's them wasting their energy on it, not me.

[A]

Hey, the bird show.