Full Show PT 2: Monday, January 5 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Monday, January 5 [Vault]

Airdate: January 5, 2026
Main Theme:
This episode of The Bert Show, part of its signature blend of humor and authenticity, dives into personal stories, relationship drama, and listener call-ins that explore tough topics: the strain of serious couple fights, the boundaries of parenting while dating after separation, and the complexities of passionate relationships. With a rotating cast including Crash, Bert, Jeff, Melissa, Phil Turan, and callers, the show oscillates between laughter, serious debate, and emotional confessions.

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1. Marital Drama and the "Ghost Sighting" (Crash’s Story)

Segment Start: 01:36

Key Points:

• Crash recounts chronic relationship troubles with “Lady Crash”: intense arguments, frequent “trouble patches,” and a near-divorce.
• The story crescendos with a chilling personal experience—a sleepless, emotional week leading to what Crash believes might be a supernatural visitation in his home.

Discussion Highlights:

• Relationship Turmoil:

  • “Annually Lady Crash and I have troubles probably a good six times a year... All stemmed from that weekend... we were almost on the verge of just seriously walking out of each other’s lives.” – Crash (01:44)
  • The intensity and frequency of their conflicts leave both Crash and his wife on edge, barely sleeping and quick to think of separation.

• Supernatural Encounter:

  • Crash describes an extremely vivid episode where he sees a figure he believes is his wife outside his bedroom—only to find her actually asleep in another room.
  • “I was as close to I am right now to Melissa, which for you listening, is no more than two feet. I saw something, felt something, enough to make me frightened, enough to go into my closet and load this gun, which I have never touched since.” – Crash (06:40)
  • The team debates possible explanations: extreme sleep deprivation, emotional stress, genuine paranormal event, or connection with his recently deceased nephew.

• Psychological Impact:

  • The episode left Crash deeply disturbed; he underscores that he's never used the gun again and remains affected by the experience.
  • “I can't tell this story without getting chills.” – Crash (10:51)

Memorable Quotes & Moments:

• “Is it possible that you were so delirious from not getting enough sleep that there was nothing in the house at all?” – Host (07:22)
• “I'm more crunchy than y’all; I believe in this stuff. But you saw what you saw.” – Host (08:32)
• Callers contribute interpretations: possible message from the afterlife, unresolved grief, or “the soul of Lady Crash reaching out.” (09:16+)

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2. Parenting & Dating: Listener Call “Sandy” Sparks Heated Debate

Segment Start: 13:41

Key Points:

• Sandy, a 34-year-old separated mother of two, faces backlash from the hosts and callers over her dating choices—regularly bringing different men to her home, sometimes overnight while her children are present.

Discussion Highlights:

• Sandy’s Justification:

  • Feels entitled to an active dating (and sex) life post-separation; claims discretion about intimacy in front of her kids (ages 5 and 7).
  • “I’m sure [my husband] is getting his needs satisfied, too... I don’t see the big deal with having somebody over a few times a week and have a few drinks and talk... and obviously, you know, we get it on. I’m human, I have needs, for crying out loud.” – Sandy (13:54)

• Hosts’ and Callers’ Objections:

  • Primary concern isn’t about her sex life, but rather the exposure of young children to a series of men and what values or sense of stability this models.
  • “If you’re parading a different guy out of your bedroom every other week and your kids know that Mommy is sleeping with a different guy every couple of weeks...you're scarring your kids.” – Host (18:24)
  • Fears expressed around childhood confusion, security, and even potential safety risks ("how do you know these men won’t harm your children?") – Caller Sharice (20:32).

• Gender and Double Standards:

  • Sandy accuses the hosts of chauvinism, but the team asserts they’d react the same if the roles were reversed.
  • “If your husband was on the phone and he was doing the exact same thing, I’d say the same thing to him. So I don't know how that makes me a male chauvinist pig.” – Host (16:53)

• Role Modeling and Responsibility:

  • Bert: “As a parent, you’re a role model...it’s your responsibility...don’t drag your kids into your own drama. You’re a mom now.” (25:01)

• Practical Suggestions:

  • Suggestions for Sandy include arranging for kids to stay elsewhere when dating, being more discreet, and prioritizing children’s well-being.

Memorable Quotes & Moments:

• “If you think you are not doing permanent damage to your children, you are so in denial. And you’re acting so selfishly.” – Caller Laura (22:27)
• “There’s no argument here. You are flat out wrong, and your husband is right. You are absolutely wrong.” – Host (24:09)
• “Give your kids to your husband.” – Melissa (25:28)

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3. Relationship Arguments: Phil & Mary Kay’s Fiery Romance

Segment Start: 28:42

Key Points:

• Phil Turan’s relationship with Mary Kay is scrutinized; their frequent, sometimes vicious arguments become a springboard for a debate about whether fighting early in a relationship is normal or a red flag.

Discussion Highlights:

• Fighting as a Sign of Passion or Doom?

  • Melissa: "In the early stages…you’re passionate…so your fights are over the top. I think you’re going to marry her." (31:05)
  • Host disagrees: “If you're fighting like cats and dogs in the first four months…big time red flag that this thing is not gonna work.” (31:42)

• Phil’s Perspective:

  • Downplays the intensity (“Not as bad as we make it out to be...We’ll start drinking and then argue about stupid things.” – 30:01).
  • Explains that he prefers relationships over being single/not interested in “playing the radio card” for casual dating – (32:42).

• “Reenactment Therapy”:

  • Phil tries to resolve relationship doubts by reenacting an argument with a woman in a bar who resembles Mary Kay (hilarious and awkward role-play ensues).
  • “I want to explain my side...and take it from your point of view…here’s what happened…‘Seriously, what the is your problem?’” – Phil (39:14)
  • The over-the-top cursing provokes laughter and mockery from the team, but Phil insists he never speaks to Mary Kay that way in real life.

• Listener Feedback and the “Drama Cycle”:

  • Callers support Phil, suggesting that fighting is "normal" in some relationships, but that if you're discussing it publicly, you're probably already worried.
  • “I have a couple friends…without that kind of drama, they wouldn’t be together.” – Caller Lisa (35:18)
  • “If you’re having a conversation on the radio about it, that means you’re more concerned about losing it than keeping it.” – Caller Michelle (36:17)

Memorable Quotes & Moments:

• “Did you have to interrupt him to borrow a tampon?” – Jeff (33:54)
• “You want to be the Obi Wan to Luke.” – Phil, to Bert about dating advice (34:42)
• “I was definitely…a total ass because, I mean, I was working on the same kind of station in Washington, D.C.…doing stupid things with women that I had no intention of being with for the rest of my life. Loved it. I'm bummed I see you having that opportunity.” – Bert (34:10)
• "You look like a [blank] over there." – Phil, in argument reenactment (40:43)
• “I swear to God, I’ve never cussed like that at Mary Kay. I swear to you on the tattooed cross on my ankle.” – Phil (41:15)

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4. Notable Listener Calls & Open Lines

Throughout the Episode:

• Multiple callers (e.g., Sharice, Laura, Michelle, Omar) provide frank opinions on the main topics, often with personal context (from being single moms to relationship veterans), underscoring the communal "real talk" ethos of The Bert Show.
• Strong emotional and sometimes confrontational exchanges, especially around parenting, contribute to a cathartic and interactive show dynamic.

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5. Tone, Language & Style

• Tone: Unfiltered, conversational, brash, and emotionally candid.
• Language: Reflects real talk-radio style; banter and humor offsetting heavy debates.
• Dynamic: Constant interplay between co-hosts, laced with sarcasm and empathy.

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6. Key Timestamps/Segments

• Crash's marital “ghost” story: 01:36 - 12:00
• Sandy & parenting/dating ethics debate: 13:41 - 26:53
• Phil & Mary Kay relationship arguments: 28:42 - 43:08
• Listener validation for fighting in relationships: Throughout, esp. 35:13, 42:31

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7. Memorable Quotes (with Attribution and Timestamps)

• “I can’t tell this story without getting chills.” – Crash (10:51)
• “If you’re parading a different guy out of your bedroom every other week and your kids know that Mommy is sleeping with a different guy every couple of weeks...you're scarring your kids.” – Host (18:24)
• “You have to be a parent first, over your sexual urges, over everything else.” – Caller T.C. (26:16)
• “In my world, I'd rather be in a relationship than be single, and I'm happy about getting hit.” – Phil Turan (33:15)
• “I was definitely...a total ass...doing stupid things with women that I had no intention of being with for the rest of my life.” – Bert (34:10)
• “If you’re having a conversation about it on the radio, that means you have a concern with it. So you’re probably gonna want to work to fix it.” – Caller Michelle (36:17)

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8. Overall Takeaways

• The Bert Show leverages humor, openness, and tough love to unpack complicated realities: marriage and its crises, parenting after separation, and the fine line between passionate love and unhealthy conflict.
• Even the most outrageous or difficult listener calls are approached openly, prompting both raw advice and entertaining banter from the cast.
• The show’s strength lies in creating a shared, judgment-free (yet challenging) space for people to laugh, vent, and reflect on life’s messy moments.

Transcript

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[Host (Crash)]

The Birch Show Crash. Yo, take it away from here, my friend.

[Crash]

Oh, where should I begin? Well, I mean, you guys know that annually lady Crash and I have troubles probably a good six times a year.

[Host (Crash)]

Six times a year?

[Crash]

Yeah.

[Phil Turan]

Yeah.

[Crash]

Well, you know, there's always.

[Host (Crash)]

Are you rounding down a lot?

[Crash]

All right, 16 times a year.

[Jeff]

Do you define trouble as multiple nights at the same hotel or like are the single night?

[Crash]

No one weekend counts as one trouble patch. It comes in little groups, you know, like little vacations.

[Jeff]

So just the one night getaways, those are.

[Crash]

Those are just bumps in the road. Yeah, yeah. Those are just. Yeah.

[Melissa]

Where does leaving your wedding ring in a tip jar to strip club.

[Phil Turan]

Is that.

[Melissa]

Is that a trouble patch or is that just a bump in the road?

[Crash]

It's one of the bigger bumps in the road. Yeah. Yeah. Other than that little trouble patches. Well, this all stemmed from that weekend that I was talking about in Fort Lauderdale when Lady Crash and I had a really rough time coming home and I was at a funeral. Well, we hosted an engagement party for her sister that weekend, that Saturday, and went off without a hitch because I was faking the whole thing the whole time. Lady Crash. And I knew we were almost on the verge of just seriously walking out of each other's lives. In fact, I went so far as to see my lawyer on the following Monday.

[Host (Crash)]

Now, was there one thing that happened over the weekend that made you think, okay, this is it. This is the straw that broke the camel's back.

[Crash]

Just another one of those nights where we both got into one of those really violent, alcohol filled fights where we both just attack each other and then our family, and before you know it, we're attacking each other's gods. You know, it's just like. It's just the most obscure reasons to argue. And we figured it out. And I just got to the point where I'm like, you know what? It gets like this too much. What if. What if it all does fall apart? Here I am, you know, I'm a new homeowner, and things are getting a little bit better for me here at the station. I go, I got to protect myself financially. So I went and saw my lawyer. Well, while this is going on, Lady Crash and I have not slept. She's in the guest room, I'm in the master bedroom. But literally, we're tossing and turning, none of us are eating. We're both very upset. We realize that, oh, my God, this is like the worst it's ever been. So I kid you not, I slept for maybe one hour, two hours tops, for six days in a row. I mean, I was at the point where your head is aching, your muscles are sore, your eyes are so red you can't physically wake yourself up. Well, probably on like day seven, I'm laying in the master bedroom of our house, and I'm sleeping on my stomach, and I hear a knock on my door in the bedroom. And I lean myself up and I look to the left and there's Lady Crash standing there. And I said, hey, you know, come on in if you, you know, you want to just sit in the bed or you can't sleep or whatever, come on in the bed.

[Jeff]

And didn't you just say she was lying there?

[Crash]

No, no, she was in the Guest room. Oh, she was in the guest room. Yeah. We weren't sleeping together. We were, you know, separated in the bedrooms. So I see her standing in the doorway, and I'm like, come on in if you want. It's okay. Let's not fight, you know, Sit down. No response. So I get up. I'm standing up, and I start walking towards what I think is Lady Crash. And this figure moves around the side of the stairwell. I go to the top of the stairwell. Now I'm within inches to where maybe Melissa and I are of this figure. I'm in clear view of it. I can see it, but I can't make out the face because it's still a little dark. It starts to walk down the stairs, and I'm talking. Where are you going? What's the matter? Are you okay? Talk to me. And then from this top of the stairs, you can look off to your right into the guest room. And the door was open, and there's Lady Crash laying in the bed, sleeping.

[Melissa]

Oh, God, I have chill bumps everywhere.

[Crash]

My first thought is, there's someone in the house. Now, I purchased a gun about a year ago. I've never touched it. I've never fired it. I've never even put it anywhere within my grasp. I have a procedure, though, that I have already made up. I ran into the closet. I slammed the door and lock it. So I'm safe in there for a second. Take the gun out of the holster. I load five bullets into it. It's one of those guns that doesn't have a hammer on it. It just automatically fires. There I am with a loaded handgun. My heart is racing. Something is in my house. And I kick the door open, and I start to patrol the house. Now, my first thought is to make sure that Lady Crash is okay. So I go by her bed. Now, granted, we're almost on the verge of a divorce here. We're hating each other. We're fighting. We're not sleeping. I'm like this. I lean down at the side of her bed with a loaded handgun. She wakes up looking at me, breathing heavy. And the first thing I say to her is, sh. She thinks I'm gonna plug her.

[Melissa]

Oh, my God.

[Crash]

I'm like, someone's in the house now. I mean, I'm shaking. I have goosebumps. I'm freaking out.

[Phil Turan]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff]

Are you more. I think if you're gonna go after Lady Crash, you're more of a smotherer.

[Bert]

Instead of a gun, a pillow, or.

[Jeff]

A grocery store bag.

[Host (Crash)]

And I think, you also know that if you're gonna go after Lady Crash and you're gonna kill her, it's a spike through the heart, right?

[Phil Turan]

Or a silver bullet.

[Crash]

I gotta catch her when she's sleeping on the ceiling.

[Melissa]

Oh, my God. So what is she looking at you with, like, the fear of God in her eyes?

[Crash]

Yeah, she's wigging out. But here's the weird thing about it, is when I give her the shush shine or whatever, I get back up. I'm afraid to go down the stairs because I don't know what I saw, where it came from, but I was as close to I am right now to Melissa, which for you listening, is no more than two feet. I saw something, felt something, enough to make me frightened, enough to go into my closet and load this gun, which I have never touched since, and start patrolling my house. Something was there. So much to the point where I did not go back to sleep the next night. I broke down physically and emotionally and cried for an hour, screaming at the top of my lungs to Lee. I don't know what I saw. What have I seen?

[Host (Crash)]

Is it possible that you just were, like, so delirious from not getting enough sleep that there was nothing in the house at all? Or do you really think that there was something in there?

[Crash]

That's the only thing that I can rationalize is I was so sleep deprived and in the middle of maybe my first starting to get a good night's sleep and was in the middle of a dream and heard a noise or the air conditioner kicked on, and then just kind of reality in my dreams were mixing together. But when I stood up, I was awake. I don't sleepwalk. I've never slept, walked before. I stood up and approached this figure and was awake. Awake enough to where it made me get and load that gun. So at that point, I was already awake.

[Jeff]

Where were you the day before? Like, the day leading up to that? Like, what were you doing? Did you have any events? Was it a weekend?

[Crash]

I had a couple of Arab friends in town. We were sucking on a hookah pipe. But other than that, I mean, were you at an event?

[Jeff]

Were there a station? Or were you at the station? What day of the week was it?

[Crash]

No, but I know it was a work day because I came to work the next day. So, I mean, it might have been like a Tuesday or a Wednesday. I think it was Tuesday because I saw my lawyer, I think, on Monday. So it was that night. So it was like, Monday night, Tuesday.

[Jeff]

Could you have brought an intern home with you but forgotten, like in your backpack or something.

[Crash]

No, I normally leave them either in the trunk or the basement.

[Host (Crash)]

Now I'm just crunchy enough to believe in this kind of stuff, you know? And I know because, you know, your rational mind wants to say, okay, I must have been sleep deprived and I was in an emotional state. But, you know, you saw what you saw.

[Crash]

I saw something because, I mean, when I first leaned up in the bed, I had to have woken up to approach this thing and talk and whatever. So by the time I got up, I was awake. And it was enough. It scared me enough. I was close enough to it, I felt its presence to make me go get a gun. I mean, why else would I just run into the room and load a handgun that I've never touched before?

[Jeff]

That's crazy. Maybe the antifreeze that lady Crash put in your beer didn't have the same effect. She thought it would just made you crazy.

[Host (Crash)]

Hey, Laura, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Good morning, guys.

[Host (Crash)]

Hi.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Hey, Crash, have you ever thought that it might be your nephew reminding you that life is really short?

[Melissa]

Oh, my God.

[Crash]

Somebody had mentioned that to me. Somebody had mentioned because my nephew recently passed away in a car crash a couple of weeks ago in Miami. And that's when we were returning from his funeral. Some people said it could have been that. Some. I also talked to some lady who told me that it could have, actually. And that's why I came up with the soul part. It was the soul of Lady Crash reaching out to me, saying something like, you know, let's give this a shot. Let's not give up so easy. Like. And then. Then of course, I really start going off on random thoughts. Where I live, you know, in downtown, is where the old steel mill used to be. You know, maybe why my house is built on, like, some sort of a site where somebody was killed or something. I don't know what it was. But now every single event that happens in my house, whether it's a board shifting or a plate move or something, I think something is in the house. In fact, I didn't have the alarm armed that night. And that was the other first thing that I did. If I was sleepwalking and if I was in this whatever state I was, I was awake enough to arm the alarm, thinking whatever was walking down the stairs has to leave through a door. Once it opens a door, it'll set off the alarm and I'll know something is there. The alarm never went off.

[Host (Crash)]

Now, you said you were close enough to It. You're two feet from Melissa Carter, so you were that close. What did you see? Was it a vision of your nephew?

[Crash]

No, I thought it was Lady Carter Crash. She normally wears, like, these little tank tops and little nighty short types of things. So from the bottom half, I couldn't see, like, from the knees down. So, like, I got a vision from the knees to the head, but the face was blurred because it was turning and walking down the stairs as I approached it.

[Host (Crash)]

That's wild, man. That is wild.

[Bert]

I'm still thinking about Lady Crash waking up with you and that gun.

[Crash]

You know what? She barely remembers anything. When I woke her up the next day, she was like, yeah, I remember you coming in. Are you all right? With someone in that? Literally, as if nothing had happened. And I am to this day. Still. I can't tell this story without getting chills.

[Jeff]

I still have all the information because, remember, we were gonna broadcast from that haunted house out in Douglasville, and y' all chickened out. I still have, like, they are still. Like, would you want them to go to your house and do a thing like, see if there's ghosts and stuff there?

[Host (Crash)]

They can do real readings and they bring in all the equipment and all that.

[Crash]

Yeah, but what if. See, I always thought about that. But what if that makes the ghost mad? Like, I didn't get hurt. I wasn't approached. I was. I mean, I was frightened, but I was. And, you know, here's what's another freaky thing. The whole time I was doing this, the. The breathing, the hair, standing on edge, the excitement, I actually stopped for a second and took my pulse, and it was no more than 80. It was almost as if I was frightened yet wasn't frightened. Is that freaky you have?

[Host (Crash)]

I think it's freaking. All of that pandemonium that you stop taking off.

[Crash]

Well, I was just so scared. I sat on the edge of the bed, and there's. You know, you feel your heartbeat, whatever.

[Jeff]

And I'm saying, looks for. All right, you got a second hand there, ghosty? Tell me when 10 seconds is up.

[Crash]

Don't make fun of me, man. This is dramatic.

[Jeff]

Don't count out loud. It screws me up.

[Crash]

The bird show.

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[Host (Crash)]

All right, let's get Sandy on the phone here now. Hey, Sandy. Hey, I have a feeling, and I want to warn you going into I think you're gonna get beat up pretty badly here and I frankly can't understand why you can't see your husband's position.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

No, I don't get it at all. I really don't. We've been separated over a year now. Now, of course we haven't gone through the divorce. We were married eight years and we do have two kids. But I mean, my goodness, you know, I live at home with the kids. He's got his own apartment. We have separate lives. We are in counseling. But still, I'm 34. I'm a female, you know, and I obviously have needs I've got to satisfy. And I'm sure he's, you know, getting his needs satisfied too. So, you know, I don't see the big deal with having somebody come over a few times a week and have a few drinks and talk and wait until the kids go to bed. I mean, my God, I'm 34 and obviously, you know, we get it on. I'm human, I have needs, for crying out loud.

[Melissa]

So what's your husband's problem with the whole situation?

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Well, in a nutshell, what happens is occasionally we might have A few too many. And every so often, and not very often, somebody may fall asleep here. And the kids see it the next morning and I just tell them it's one of mommy's friends. And obviously it got back to the ex and he's raising a big stink about it. And I just. I think he should get over it. He's being a real jerk and a control freak.

[Host (Crash)]

All right, let me ask you just a little history of the family here. How old are the kids?

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

I have a five year old and a seven year old.

[Host (Crash)]

Five and seven. And you were married how long we.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Were together eight years.

[Host (Crash)]

Eight years. Okay. And you've been separated by a year. And how often is this happening where you bring a new guy back into the house and he ends up leaving the next morning in front of your five and seven year old?

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Well, I have someone over every week, but it's not like that person spends the night every week.

[Jeff]

Same person or different people?

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Well, different people. I don't want to get too tight with anybody.

[Host (Crash)]

So you're bringing a different guy in every week. And how often do your kids know that there's somebody in the house?

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Well, they see it every week. They know Mommy's got to have friends. Like I said, I don't want to hook up with just one person again. I'm past that.

[Host (Crash)]

Is there any hand holding, kissing, any kind of intimacy at all in front of the kids?

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Well, just a little bit. Not that much. I mean, you know, I'm pretty good about that. We may hold hands or something, but that's about as far as it goes. And they know they're just friends.

[Host (Crash)]

And you can't understand that your husband's position on this is that you're sending some pretty nasty messages to your kids.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

I disagree. What I feel like I'm doing is I'm showing them that you can have more, you know, more than one friend. And I don't want them to get too attached to just one person, you know, in the event that person decides to just go away. So I'm just trying to be flexible.

[Host (Crash)]

I think that this is the kind of behavior that will scar your kids forever. How do you like that? I think it's that serious.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

I agree. I think you're being a male servant as big. I don't understand.

[Host (Crash)]

If your husband was on the phone and he was doing the exact same thing, I'd say the same thing to him. So I don't know how that makes me a male chauvinist pig.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Just, it sounded like a male point of view.

[Bert]

No, I'm just, you know, I have mixed feelings about it because, you know, the, I don't know, maybe it's the frequency of it, maybe that is bothersome to me. But then again, does Sandy have to be celibate until the children are 18?

[Host (Crash)]

I have no problem with the sex part of this. Look, if that's what you want to do and you want to have sex with a different guy every week and that's the way that you want to.

[Jeff]

Live your life, that's how you roll.

[Host (Crash)]

That's how you roll. That's fine. I just. The problem I have is doing it in your house with the kids there and watching these, the kids watching different guys every week or every other week coming out of your bedroom. That's the part of this whole thing that bothers me. It's not the sex part. Do what you want. You're scarring your kids.

[Bert]

And I'm just, and I totally agree. I do think that what you expose to your kid, it's tough, it's tough. But I'm wondering, what is the alternative? Like, where can Sandy go?

[Host (Crash)]

I don't know, go to a hotel for an hour.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Do you know how much child care is these days?

[Melissa]

Here's a.

[Host (Crash)]

Do you know how much psychologists are these days?

[Melissa]

What do you think that it is scarring on them? Like, as a dad, like, what would that say to your kid?

[Host (Crash)]

Think of the mixed messages.

[Melissa]

What is it teaching your kid? Like, what are they going to be? What's the impression left on them? I'm kind of confused on that.

[Host (Crash)]

Well, it seems to me that if you're parading a different guy out of your bedroom every other week and your kids know that mommy is sleeping with a different guy every couple of weeks, that they're. Every week, every week, they're still pretty attached to dad. They're really attached to dad at this point. How do you explain that to a five year old that mommy's holding hands and kissing somebody that's not my dad, and she's doing it every week with a different guy. They're 5 and 7.

[Jeff]

And doesn't it make sex trivial?

[Melissa]

Hmm.

[Bert]

I guess for me, though, it's like it's, you know, again, I have mixed feelings. But I also think, though, that their father's probably doing the same thing, but he just doesn't have the burden of having the children right there in front of him.

[Host (Crash)]

The sex part of this, again, doesn't bother me. Doesn't bother me at all. It's the showing the kids the sexual part of it that's bothering me, I'm livid. I'm so pissed. I'm really livid.

[Jeff]

You're steamed.

[Host (Crash)]

I'm steamed.

[Bert]

Coming out of his ears.

[Jeff]

Steamed coming out of your ears.

[Host (Crash)]

Good morning, Jacqueline. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Hi. I just wanted to say that she has been very irresponsible and she's teaching her kids no responsibility at all by doing this. If she wants to sleep around, that is fine, but I'm sure that, you know, send the kids to her husband's house for a weekend. Do it that weekend. Do it when your kids are spending the night with somebody in the family. Do it when your kids are not there seeing this. I mean, would you want your husband having woman after woman after woman coming in and your kids saying, oh, well, there was Susie and there was Deborah and there was all these different women. I mean, that is just has to be completely confusing your children.

[Host (Crash)]

You tell your kids that these are just different friends every week.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Right.

[Host (Crash)]

And they believe that when these guys are coming out of your bedroom, they believe it's just another friend that mommy had over.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Right. They never ask any questions.

[Host (Crash)]

The seven year old has asked you. How come the friend doesn't spend the night on the couch?

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Never. No.

[Host (Crash)]

I'm the only one that's upset about this. Maybe because I'm the kids.

[Jeff]

I'm upset. It's just that you got steam coming out of your ears and I like to mess with you.

[Bert]

No, I mean, again, you don't have to have children to understand the problem with it. I'm just trying to think of, you know, the alternative, you know, to give her advice on how to change it, you know.

[Host (Crash)]

Good morning, Sharice. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Hey, I just want to say, first of all, I love this show.

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Second of all, this woman, I'm so mad listening to her.

[Jeff]

I mean.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

First of all, you have all of these men coming in your house, you go to sleep, you don't even know what's going on. You don't even know these men. And having them around your children, what happens if he gets up in the middle of the night and go visits one of your children? You don't know them.

[Host (Crash)]

She's got a great point.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

I mean, how dare you? You're actually putting them in harm's way. You don't see it like that.

[Host (Crash)]

Yeah, take the sexual part out of the whole thing. You're right, that's a good point.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

I mean, you don't know them. You don't know what they've. Are you just exposing your children to a friend? Go out and have dinner? Do you. I mean, is it that important for you to get laid that you'll actually risk your children? Do you not watch the news? Yeah, I mean, I do. And they're not total strangers off the street. How long have you known them? Well, some of them. I've actually. You took the long answer through other people. Okay. Do you know their background? Do you know if there's any abuse that they've had that they may try to take out on your children? I mean, you are. Oh, my God.

[Host (Crash)]

So irresponsible. I hadn't thought of that angle.

[Bert]

Sandy, one thing that you said that really bothers me, that I do think that you are taking out on your children, that you are feeling yourself. Like you made the comment how you want to teach your children not to get attached to one person for very long just because your marriage didn't work. I still think you should teach your children, you know, commitment and longevity. You know, I just. That kind of bothered me a little bit.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Okay, well.

[Host (Crash)]

Well, we're not done. Hey, Laura, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[Jeff]

We're gonna keep kicking you off.

[Melissa]

I am on fire.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

I'm so mad. I'm shaking. I am a single mom. I was raised by a single mom. If you think you are not doing permanent damage to your children, you are so in denial, and you're acting so selfishly. I just. I can't believe that you think that what you're doing is fine. I just can't. I can't believe it. I'm appalled.

[Bert]

One of my best friends in high school, growing up, she and her. She had a twin brother, and they were, you know, two of my best friends. And their father was very abusive to their mother. They saw this as children, and he left and went across the country, and they were fine with that, you know, but still, when their mother started seeing someone, seriously, it bothered him a little bit. But the mother was very respectful on how it happened. Like, my best friend knew what was going on between the two of them, but they never showed anything in front of the kids, and he never spent the night over there. You know, it was, you know, they ended up getting married. You know, they ended up being together forever. But it's just. It's almost that there's a fine line because they wanted their mother to be happy, but they also, you know, like Bert said, you know, your parents are your parents. And even though the marriage doesn't work out, that's still their daddy. That's somewhere else.

[Host (Crash)]

You know, I'm gonna be even way more judgmental than that. I think what you're doing is so irresponsible, and the fact that you can't see what you're doing doing is so wrong. I think your husband should have the kids.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Wow.

[Melissa]

I think they know a lot more of what's going on than what you're giving them credit for, because you said they're ages 5 and 7. They know a lot more of what's going on. They may not be asking you questions because you said they don't ask about it. They may not be asking you questions, but they've got their own questions and their own minds about it, and they're probably really confused as to what in.

[Bert]

The world is happening.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Okay, well, you're just.

[Host (Crash)]

There's no argument here. You are flat out wrong, and your husband is right. There's no gray area. You are wrong. I'm sorry to sound that judgmental, but you are absolutely wrong.

[Jeff]

What do you mean by absolutely wrong?

[Host (Crash)]

Completely.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Okay, you know, what are your suggestions?

[Host (Crash)]

You know what? If you want to go and have sex, like I said, do what you gotta do. I mean, I don't think that's so safe either. If you're going with these random guys to different hotels and their apartments and stuff like that. Also, you don't know who these guys are. You have no idea. But, I mean, if that's what you want to do, at least keep it away from your kids. I don't have a problem with you going out and doing whatever you want. The problem I have is you are scaring your kids every time another man walks out of your bedroom or every time they see you holding hands or kissing somebody else on the couch, you're scarring your kids.

[Bert]

Yeah. I think that, you know, as a parent, you're a role model, and whether you like it or not, it's your responsibility. And the thing is, like, you have to take extra steps in order to protect those children. And. Yeah, I mean, it. It. I know that you obviously are trying to go out and you're doing it with a lot of frequency after your separation. But you know what? That's your thing. But, yeah, don't drag your kids into your own drama. You know, you're a mom now, so.

[Melissa]

It'S absolutely part of it. If it's absolutely something you have to do, give your kids to your husband.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

I'm not giving up my kids.

[Host (Crash)]

I think she means like, for the. I think she means, like for the weekend or for the night.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Oh.

[Jeff]

Or like at a neighbor or let them have a sleepover at friends or something.

[Bert]

And the thing is, don't let this be something that. I'm right, he's wrong, he's right, I'm wrong. Like, I think the problem with divorced parents is they're so mad at each other and they're so much like you're fighting constantly to prove the other one wrong, that the kids are the ones that are victims in it. You know, you both are still these children's parents. And you will be until the day you die. Both of you. And you're gonna have to figure out a way to work together in order to raise these children.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Okay?

[Bert]

And his. His. His concerns are valid. He's their father.

[Host (Crash)]

T.C. you'll be the last call. What's going on, man?

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Hey. How's it going? Well, Melissa touched on what I was going to say, and you have to be a parent first, you know, over your sexual urges, over everything else.

[Host (Crash)]

Yeah, fine.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

If you're going to do it, take it outside of the house. But you cannot bring stuff like that in front of a child. And a judge will take your kids away from you for this irresponsible act that you're doing. That's something you have to look at, too. Okay.

[Host (Crash)]

All right, Sandy, we gotta go.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

All right.

[Jeff]

All right.

[Phil Turan]

Bye. Bye.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Thanks.

[Crash]

The Bird show.

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[Phil Turan]

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[Crash]

Podcast ads on Acast. Start today at go acast.com advertise.

[Host (Crash)]

We are so into Phil Turan, his head right now with Mary Kay and his relationship with Mary Kay that I was just telling these guys how we're so into your head about this relationship with you and Mary Kay.

[Phil Turan]

You don't say that.

[Host (Crash)]

He's like reenacting arguments with random women just to prove to himself that he wasn't wrong at the last fight that he was in with Mary Kay. This has started up again because I'm sure if you're listening this late, you don't listen like it's 6:15 in the morning. But Phil has been dating Mary Kay now for about four months and they're all exchanging the L word. And it comes out of his mouth very easily. In fact, go ahead and tell her right now that you love her.

[Phil Turan]

I do.

[Bert]

And they went to Vegas together. Took their big trip, you know, together.

[Melissa]

That was our first idiot's guide. Yeah, it was Idiots guide to traveling with his girlfriend.

[Phil Turan]

You'd be surprised how many of the idiots guides to traveling with a girlfriend or first time traveling in a relationship. How many are used? Yeah, you would be surprised. I literally made a list of them before I left and I took about four or five of those to heart the entire time.

[Host (Crash)]

Well, before we get too much off the subject here, they have kind of like this tumultuous relationship. Almost like they just are arguing all the time and they're fighting all the time. Usually it's alcohol and dude.

[Phil Turan]

Yeah, it's not. It's not as bad. It's not as bad as we make it out to.

[Host (Crash)]

See, this is Mary Kay talking now, speaking through Phil.

[Phil Turan]

I was gonna say, no, it's not bad as. I mean, we make it out to be. Our problem is we'll go out and we'll start drinking and the next thing you know we are arguing about the most stupid subject.

[Bert]

They're pretty vicious though. They can be. I mean, there was harsh words. Are said in those fights.

[Phil Turan]

Yes. And. And specifically, there was one fight where harsh words were spoken that I look.

[Host (Crash)]

At you tiptoeing now. You know, she's. No, I don't know. Than we heard the other day.

[Phil Turan]

I'll admit to you. Yes, it is. No, it's not. She didn't even hear any of this. She hasn't heard any of any of the breaks we've done about this.

[Bert]

That her friends told her something.

[Melissa]

She's joining the rest of the significant others by not listen.

[Host (Crash)]

She's listening and we like it.

[Phil Turan]

I just wanted to understand. I'm happy. I'm having a great time with Mary Kay. And yes, we do argue. And yes, there have been arguments where words were said that probably shouldn't have been said.

[Host (Crash)]

So we get into this debate the other day and Jen, hobbies of the camp that it's great. I mean, when you start off this relationship and you love each other so much and you're so passionate that those fights.

[Melissa]

Don't mock me.

[Host (Crash)]

I'm not. Am I putting words in your mouth? I mean, that's accurate.

[Bert]

But you're being dramatic about it.

[Melissa]

You're mocking me.

[Host (Crash)]

Go ahead, state your case.

[Melissa]

My case is that in the early stages of a relationship, you're passionate, you're head over heels. So your fights are gonna be passionate and over the top. You do have to be careful about what words you use during those arguments. But I think it's fine. I think there's so many trust issues and insecurities at the beginning of a relationship that you guys are fine. You're passionate, so you're passionately fighting. And I think that you're gonna marry her.

[Host (Crash)]

I'm in a different camp.

[Jeff]

Hold on. What was the last.

[Host (Crash)]

She said that yesterday.

[Melissa]

Yeah, yeah, I think he's going to marry her.

[Bert]

Did she say that on the air?

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

How long do you think the marriage will last?

[Bert]

Oh, come on. Forever. Anyway, so, Bert, your time. I mean, your turn. Oh, yeah, your time.

[Host (Crash)]

My take on the whole thing.

[Jeff]

You have 90 seconds for rebuttal, Mr. Weiss. Go ahead.

[Host (Crash)]

My take is that, look, the first couple of months of your relationship is the courting period. It never gets any better than the first six months. Yes, you're passionate about each other, you can't wait to see each other, but you're also on your best behavior. So if you're fighting like cats and dogs in the first four months of the relationship, big time red flag that this thing is not gonna work. And unlike Jen, who thinks that they're gonna be Married happily forever for the rest of their lives. I have now, given the relationship, I think we're down to 56 days and counting.

[Phil Turan]

Now. You're going up. Yesterday you said 55.

[Host (Crash)]

Yeah. The longer I talk to you, each and every conversation, that number changes, and it goes down like it started at 60 yesterday. And by the end of the conversation, I think it was at 50.

[Phil Turan]

I think by the time we get back from vacation, I'll be down to 12 days.

[Jeff]

I just want to know, because Jen is so certain they're going to get married. I mean, there's also, like, if you sat down and thought. I mean, you're Phil Tyranna from the radio. You know, you're Wild Bills. You're at vision. You know, you could be mounting as often as you want.

[Phil Turan]

What are you.

[Host (Crash)]

Did not nod in your head? No, no back and forth about Jen.

[Melissa]

I'm just saying that's such a frivolous reason for you to want to break them up.

[Jeff]

I don't want to break them up. I'm just saying, like, you're in this relationship that has so much tension and so much anger, and there are so many people that you can just tag it and forget about it. And so, like, are you gonna tap into that before you get married, or.

[Phil Turan]

I've never subscribed to that theory. I've never. I've never played the radio card. I've never.

[Host (Crash)]

Well, up until this point, you really didn't have an opportunity.

[Phil Turan]

Exactly.

[Jeff]

Not a ton of hot chicks up in Rome there, Philly.

[Phil Turan]

No, it's never been. I've never really thought about it. I've always. In my world, I'd rather be in a relationship than be single, and I'm happy about getting hit.

[Melissa]

I'm not getting hit, Jeff, you're the same way. If you were, you know, if you weren't married, there's no Jessica, and you're still single. You're not gonna. You're not gonna act like that either. You're not that kind of a guy. You're a relationship.

[Jeff]

There is no Jessica, and we're at this station with this city. I might need a hip replacement at this point.

[Host (Crash)]

Right.

[Phil Turan]

I'll tell you this. Nothing makes me more disgusted. I was in. I think it was vision or 1150 or somewhere. I was in the bathroom just hearing these guys bragging about all the. I'm gonna take this girl home and I'm gonna do her nuts. She's so easy. I'm supposed to get her done, get in the parking lot. That's Never been like, I hear that. And I just kind of.

[Jeff]

Did you have to interrupt him to borrow a tampon?

[Phil Turan]

What are you talking about? You'd be the exact same way, the exact same way if you were not with Jesky.

[Jeff]

You know it.

[Melissa]

I would buy it if it was coming from Burt.

[Phil Turan]

I would guess from Burt.

[Jeff]

Okay, Bert, would you like to sell it then?

[Bert]

I mean.

[Melissa]

Cause Burt was a player back in the day, and I bet he was a jerk.

[Host (Crash)]

I was definitely. I've told you guys that I was a total ass because, I mean, I was working on the same kind of station in Washington, D.C. i was in my early 20s, and I was really enjoying just, like, doing stupid things with. With women that I had no intention of being with for the rest of my life. And that was. I loved it. I loved it. I'm bummed that because I had such a great time in that. In that part of my life that I see you having that opportunity, and I guess I'm putting my thing onto you. Like, you're just. That's. That's cool that you're not that kind of guy.

[Phil Turan]

You want to be the Obi Wan to Luke.

[Host (Crash)]

Yeah, but that's not. That's cool. That's not who you're at. That's not your main.

[Bert]

But that's not even the reason we're having the conversation, because that's not the reason we think, you know, we're debating. Their relationship is his job, is the arguments they're having.

[Phil Turan]

And they're not as bad as that. Y' all make them out. And we, granted, we have gotten in some pretty heated arguments, but they're not.

[Host (Crash)]

Like, you guys are dropping the F bomb and stuff, man.

[Phil Turan]

That was the. Yeah, that was the one argument.

[Bert]

That's harsh and done pretty early.

[Phil Turan]

Yeah, it shouldn't have.

[Jeff]

How often have you called the cops or her? How often has a patrol carbon in front of your house with the lights on?

[Melissa]

That's never a good sign.

[Host (Crash)]

Good morning, Lisa. You're on all the hits.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

I just. I just want to let Phil know that the arguments that he's explaining that he's having with his girlfriend are totally normal in some relationships. I have a couple friend of mine. They love each other. They're totally happy, but without that kind of drama, they wouldn't be together.

[Melissa]

Oh, that's kind of like Crash and Lady Crash.

[Host (Crash)]

Yeah, they need that. They. I think he even says that, like, they need that in their relationship. Like, if things. I think Crash has come in here and said, when things get to a Mellow Point. And they're both pretty content. He'll do something to stir it up.

[Jeff]

They get nervous. They get nervous, like throw his wedding band in the tip jar of a strip club in Fort Lauderdale.

[Host (Crash)]

And that's no lie. He's in here today without.

[Bert]

He really. Yeah, he really threw his wedding in the tip jar.

[Host (Crash)]

Good morning, Michelle. You're on all the hits Q100.

[Bert]

Yeah, we got to talk about that sometime. Good morning.

[Jeff]

That's a funny sentence to say out loud.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

You guys have been a little hard on the ups and downs of the relationship.

[Melissa]

Thank you.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

I mean, you know, you can't throw it away just that easily. It's gonna be hard times.

[Host (Crash)]

No way. This is a sure indicator that it's not gonna be. I mean, they're fighting this early in.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

The relationship, but if you're having a conversation on the radio about it, that means you're more concerned about losing it than you are about keeping it.

[Phil Turan]

If we're having a conversation about on the radio, who's they are? I am.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

If the guy is talking about it. If you're talking about it, that means you have a concern with it. So you're probably gonna want to work to fix it than you will to throw it out.

[Host (Crash)]

Well, yeah, you have a concern about it because, I mean, you obviously brought in the audio that you brought in today.

[Crash]

Oh, right.

[Jeff]

I mean, Phil comes in every day and says, can we please talk about my relationship? I'm so torn about it.

[Host (Crash)]

He begs us to break them up.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Right.

[Bert]

But I want to hear more about these fake fights. Like you actually are reenacting fights.

[Host (Crash)]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

What is that?

[Bert]

I didn't know about that. What?

[Phil Turan]

So I grabbed my microphone the other night, went to a local bar, and found. Went to a table that approached a girl who looks a lot like Mary Kay, and I explained the situation to her, and I said, oh, you did.

[Melissa]

Not just throw that in there. That was a detail of the story that you did not need to throw in.

[Phil Turan]

Well, why?

[Host (Crash)]

It's okay for us.

[Phil Turan]

Yeah, I don't bad for you later on. I don't understand the problem with that, though. It makes sense. Coming up in the bit.

[Melissa]

Whatever. We'll recreate that argument later.

[Crash]

Okay.

[Phil Turan]

I don't understand what the problem with that is.

[Host (Crash)]

Not nearly as beautiful as Mary Kay.

[Phil Turan]

Yeah, she looked like her.

[Bert]

Great.

[Phil Turan]

And Mary Kay's awesome. And I love her more than a. Anyone know this girl's name?

[Jeff]

Was the girl at the bar hot?

[Phil Turan]

If she looked. Well, she was attractive. Yes, but she looked like Mary Kay. She had blonde hair.

[Jeff]

So Mary Kay is only attractive, not hot.

[Melissa]

She is hot.

[Phil Turan]

Oh, Jesus.

[Jeff]

I'm just asking because you brought it up.

[Phil Turan]

So I just wanna bit was such a good idea a week ago. It really, really was. I was laughing out loud when I was explaining it to people.

[Jeff]

I think Mary Kay's hot now.

[Phil Turan]

I do, too. I think she's gorgeous and I love her. I love Mary Kay, and I do. And I think she's gorgeous. I think she's hot.

[Host (Crash)]

So you approach this girl in a.

[Phil Turan]

Bar who is this girl who bears no resemblance to Mary Kay whatsoever. Matter of fact, I went and talked to a man. No, I walked to this girl and I explained to her. I said, look, I need some help because I have been getting in these stupid arguments with my girlfriend, and here's what I want to do. I want to take this situation and turn it around. I want to explain to you what happened and how I approached this situation. And I want to know if I reacted the wrong way, if I was too soft, if I let her walk all over me. I want to get another girl's. Because I appreciate Yalls advice, except for Burton, Jeff's and Melissa's. So, Jen, I appreciate your advice just.

[Bert]

As we'll tell them the truth. And Jen will sugarcoat it, and I do.

[Phil Turan]

But I'm tired of bringing my problems to y'. All. So I took my problems out there and I told the girl. I was like, look, and you'll hear this in the setup. Here's what happened. Here's how I reacted. Was I right or was I wrong? And I just wanted to get her reaction to see if. If Mary Kay acted, you know, if I was right about this situation.

[Host (Crash)]

So this is you talking to her as though she's Mary Kay?

[Phil Turan]

Correct.

[Host (Crash)]

Okay.

[Phil Turan]

And there's also the setup in here. Explain to the girl.

[Jeff]

Dangerous Mary Kay listening.

[Phil Turan]

Here's the situation. You look exactly like my girlfriend. And the reason I want to talk to you.

[Host (Crash)]

You might have lost her there.

[Jeff]

Well, if she was listening, she's not gonna hear the rest of it. So you're okay.

[Host (Crash)]

All right, here we go.

[Phil Turan]

Here's the situation. You look exactly like my girlfriend, and the reason I want to talk to you is because me and my girlfriend got in this asinine argument over the weekend, and you look a lot like her. So I would like to pretty much explain my side of the situation and kind of give you, like, the scenario of what happened and then take it from your point of view, like, how you would react. I'll Give you my reaction and I'll see how you react. Do you mind?

[Jeff]

No, it's okay.

[Phil Turan]

No. Okay. Okay, here's the situation pretty much. We're at a bar and you are talking to a couple of guys. And I approached you on this. Okay, seriously, what the is your problem? What the is going on?

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Are you serious?

[Phil Turan]

What the kind of question is that? Of course I'm serious. I take you out to the bar, we're partying, having a good time. I look up and you over here talking to a couple of guys. Who the are these guys? And by this point, her eyes are so big right now, she has no clue how to react to me.

[Host (Crash)]

So she's supposed to be playing the part of Mary Kay.

[Phil Turan]

Oh, sure.

[Host (Crash)]

All right.

[Melissa]

I think I'd be very mad.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Very, very pissed off.

[Phil Turan]

Now you know how I feel. Of course I'm pissed off.

[Host (Crash)]

You know what?

[Phil Turan]

Okay, great.

[Host (Crash)]

You know what?

[Crash]

Great, great.

[Host (Crash)]

You know what?

[Phil Turan]

What are you doing? If you ask me from across the bar, it looks like you're sitting there. Undress them. Are you having sex? And you're them into their eyes, aren't you? You are sitting there. You are sitting there them with your eyes, aren't you?

[Melissa]

Oh, my God.

[Phil Turan]

Okay, good. So no. So you got nothing. So you're gonna say nothing now? You were talking up pretty damn well these two over here. And you come over and I try to approach you. I need to be all quiet about it. What do you gotta say?

[Melissa]

I don't.

[Phil Turan]

I don't. Okay, well, that's what I thought. You know what? Really good, really good of you. You look like a over there.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Oh, holy.

[Host (Crash)]

No, mother.

[Phil Turan]

So how do you think I reacted?

[Melissa]

Insane.

[Phil Turan]

Don't think I was being too nice about it.

[Hers Weight Loss Advertiser]

Thank you.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Right, cool.

[Phil Turan]

Well, that's what I was checking. I appreciate your help.

[Host (Crash)]

Now, did you get the response you thought you'd get there?

[Phil Turan]

That's pretty much the same response Mary Kay gave me, so I guess I was right.

[Host (Crash)]

Is that any kind of, like, indicator at all of the fights that you guys really get into?

[Phil Turan]

I swear to God, I've never cussed like that at Mary Kay. I've never, ever cussed like that. I swear to you on the. On the tattooed cross on my ankle. I've never cursed it at Mary Kay.

[Bert]

On the what? He's not kidding about that. Have you not seen this?

[Host (Crash)]

Yeah, I've seen it.

[Phil Turan]

You've seen that?

[Host (Crash)]

The tattooed crossing my ankle.

[Phil Turan]

Hey, is that 10 JD bottle on my back?

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

And the 12 bag and natty Lightning, my Friend.

[Phil Turan]

And the black eye on Burt's face.

[Jeff]

Is that tattoo a gift from your ex girlfriend?

[Phil Turan]

No, it was a birthday present. It was a birthday present myself.

[Jeff]

Oh, okay.

[Crash]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Didn't somebody get you. Didn't an ex girlfriend get you a tattoo?

[Phil Turan]

We talked about it, but we never did.

[Jeff]

Oh, okay.

[Host (Crash)]

Hey, Omar. Hey, Good morning.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Good morning.

[Host (Crash)]

What's going on?

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Oh, I was just calling to support Phil and let him know that, you know, arguing is okay. Just a quick story. About a year ago, my wife was on the air with y', all, and we've been engaged for three years. And. Yeah, and everybody on there, except for Jeff, was telling her that it wasn't going to work out because we've been engaged for too long. And the reason we were engaged for so long is because we were arguing so much. But now we're happily married and have a kid on the way because we got all that stuff behind us. So I just want to let. No, let Phil know that, you know, arguing is okay.

[Host (Crash)]

Are you saying I hear is the only one that you should listen to on the show regarding your relationship? Is Jeff okay?

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Well, no, I wouldn't say that now.

[Jeff]

Omar, are you. I'm certain the kid is yours. It's on the way.

[Caller (Sandy and others)]

Well, if it looks like you, I'll be in trouble.

[Phil Turan]

No, but we have never actually argued like that. I just wanted to get this girl's opinion. If I just cursed at her for five minutes straight. Pretty much, that's about how it happened.

[Host (Crash)]

55 days and counting.

[Jeff]

Just a bit of advice. Nobody ever looks like your girlfriend unless she's in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue or a Victoria's Secret catalog.

[Phil Turan]

Okay, Information that would have been good about eight and a half minutes ago.

[Jeff]

Hey, I met this girl at Vision. She looks just like you and she was so cool.

[Crash]

Love you.

[Host (Crash)]

Not so much.

[Phil Turan]

Wrong thing to say, guys. The Birch Show.

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[Phil Turan]

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