Full Show PT 2: Monday, November 24, 2025 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – November 24, 2025 [Vault]

Full Show PT 2
Pionaire Podcasting

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into real-life listener dilemmas and candid, often funny team introspection. The hour centers on a listener named “Julie” grappling with an arranged marriage rooted in her Indian-American background, followed by the team’s “Relationship Report Card” segment, where Hoss faces honest (sometimes brutal) feedback from an ex-girlfriend. As always, the cast—Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and friends—keep things real, raw, and comedic.

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1. Arranged Marriage in the Modern U.S.

(Starts at 01:14)

Background:

• Julie (voice disguised, not her real name), 23-year-old daughter of Indian immigrants, shares her experience navigating the pressures of arranged marriage in contemporary America.

Key Discussion Points & Insights:

• Cultural Pressures:

  • Julie’s Indian parents believe that her “prime age” for marriage has arrived after college, and continue to make “suggestions.”
  • Quote: "I've reached that prime age of 23 and get married." – Julie [01:44]

• How Arrangements Happen Today:

  • Parents and family friends introduce possible matches—“suggestions” rather than enforced choices.
  • Julie was not interested initially. Changed her mind when she learned a candidate earned $150-160k/year.
  • Quote: “I’m a little shallow. I’m not afraid to admit that.” – Julie [02:37]

• Exploring Compatibility:

  • She and the candidate share similarities and get along over email/IM, but have never met in person (meeting is planned soon).
  • His lack of relationship or romantic experience (no dating, kissing, drinking, or sex) raises Julie’s concerns & suspicions.
  • Friend (jokingly and problematically) asks him if he’s gay during a chat.

• Red Flags or Cultural Norms?

  • Hosts discuss whether lack of experience = red flag (“rainbow flag” joke) or if it’s just conservative upbringing/prioritizing career.
    • “I don’t necessarily think that’s an indication that he’s gay… For a lot of gay people, they go out with people [of opposite gender] to cover up what they’re doing.” – Show member B [06:15]
  • Julie herself is culturally Indian but personally Americanized, open about partying and having previous relationships.
    • Her plan: When they meet, she’ll come clean about her sexual history in person.

• Audience & Call-Ins:

  • Callers offer varying takes—from “maybe he’s just waiting for an arrangement” to more biting criticism (“gold-digging slut” caller; show pushes back).
    • "She isn't honoring her beliefs if she's a gold-digging slut." – Caller Debbie [12:44]
    • Show member stands up for Julie’s right to be concerned: “I think she’s absolutely in the realm of right, of being concerned that this guy’s never had any interaction whatsoever. I would think that's weird too. I don’t care what culture you’re from.” [13:50]

• Insightful Culture Talk:

  • Another Indian-American caller, Rick, reframes arrange marriage as “parents introducing you to someone”—not all that different from other minority communities or traditional parental pressure in America.

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Notable Quotes

• “That red flag doesn't necessarily have to be the rainbow flag.” – [07:15]
• “In their culture, it’s spoken. In other cultures, it’s just understood or implied.” – [12:21]
• On the ‘arranged’ system: “If you meet someone online or whether you meet someone in school or if your parents introduce you to someone, what difference does it make?” – Rick [10:50]

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Segment Timestamps

• Arranged Marriage segment begins: 01:14
• Discussion of candidate’s lack of experience: 03:32–07:30
• Cultural commentary and call-ins: 09:29–14:25

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2. Relationship Report Card: Hoss Under Fire

(Starts at 16:35, main segment resumes at 16:35 and again at 29:42)

What is “Relationship Report Card?”

• Hoss contacts his ex-girlfriends on-air for feedback, aiming to self-improve and learn why his relationships went wrong.
• “They will brutally be honest with you… tell you what you did right, tell you what you did wrong, and then… you have a little bit better idea how to be better for the next person.” – Host [16:49]

Key Discussion Points:

• Rachel: The Long-term Ex

  • Relationship timeline: Junior year of college through April of this year; on-and-off since; attempted reconciliation.

  • Problems according to Rachel:

    • Immaturity & Heavy Drinking:
      • “He drinks quite often. He goes out a lot… like a lot, a lot…” – Rachel [20:48]
      • Drinks around five days a week; sometimes drinks to excess.
      • Hoss avoided taking Rachel out with friends, creating suspicion about priorities.
    • Lack of Sweet Gestures:
      • “He could have done, like, nice things… I got care packages from his mom, but him, himself—nothing.” – Rachel [22:42]
      • Example: When he overnight-mailed her license, he included no note.
    • Impatience:
      • “He gets agitated kind of easily with me… he just needs to be more patient and be nicer and considerate.” – Rachel [26:08]

  • But…

    • “He’s a really nice guy... a very good kisser.” – Rachel [26:38]
    • Physically attentive and a “best friend,” but still emotionally unready.

  • Takeaways:

    • Immaturity, lack of effort at distance, impatience—not uncommon issues for young men, say hosts.
    • Hoss’s humorous yet defensive reactions: “I’m sucking my thumb.” [25:19] “All he heard today was that he’s a good kisser and he’s good in bed.” [26:44]

• Deeper Dive: Hoss’s Relationship Patterns

  • Hosts encourage examining all past relationships, as people “end up fighting about the same thing… breaking up over the same thing.” [30:33]
  • Hoss reveals limited dating history: Only three serious girlfriends (the show renames them Virginia, Allison, Alicia).
  • Honesty Bomb: Hoss, sometimes not 100% faithful, admits discomfort. (“How many of those three relationships were you completely, 100%... faithful?... This is where I don’t want to talk about it.” [33:41])

• Hoss’s Pining and a Messy Email

  • Reveals regret and lingering feelings (notably for “Allison”).
  • Drunkenly emailed his love to her—unaware she’s engaged to a (former) friend.
  • Email is discovered by fiancé (possibly intentionally shown) and awkward fall-out ensues; “She IMed me saying it was the sweetest thing she ever got.” [46:00]
  • Show notes the power of unresolved feelings and suggests she may be “using Hoss as hand in her relationship” [44:48].

• Hosts’ Analysis

  • Open, honest group reflection; not shying away from uncomfortable truths or painful introspection.
  • Segment is equal parts therapy, comedy, and catharsis.

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Notable Quotes

• “When I was 24 years old, there weren’t too many relationships I had where I wasn’t screwing around. I’m not proud of it, but…” – Host [34:23]
• “You always want what you can’t touch. That might be it.” – Hoss reflecting on an ex [38:24]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Relationship Report Card setup: 16:35
• Rachel’s Feedback (“the Exes”): 17:20–27:00
• Hoss’s Relationship History & Patterns: 29:42–34:00
• Hoss’s “Drunk Email” Saga: 35:00–47:00

---

3. Memorable & Funny Moments

• Cultural Humor:

  • “That red flag doesn’t necessarily have to be the rainbow flag.” [07:15]

• Honest Admission:

  • Julie’s clear-eyed self-description: “I’m a little shallow. I’m not afraid to admit that.” [02:37]

• Report Card Awkwardness:

  • “I’m sucking my thumb.” – Hoss [25:19]
  • “All he heard today was that he’s a good kisser and he’s good in bed.” [26:44]

• Show Humor:

  • “She is sexual Chick Fil A… When’s the only time you want a waffle cup fry? Sunday afternoon when they’re not open. But you can’t have it… that’s all you wanted.” – Hoss/Hosts riff on the allure of the unavailable [38:47]

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4. Conclusion & Episode Flow

This episode offers an honest look at culture, dating, and the messiness of young adulthood. Julie’s story provokes real debate about arranged marriage—its modern forms, immigrant American identity, and generational values. Hoss’s “Report Card” provides raw, revealing relationship lessons, showing the power (and pain/fun) of self-examination. Add in witty banter, punchy moments, and open calls, and it’s an episode that feels both universally relatable and intensely personal.

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For Listeners:

If you want to hear:

• Candid takes on arranged marriages in the U.S. (from multiple generational and cultural perspectives)
• Brutally honest relationship self-examination
• A balance of empathy, humor, and “keeping it real”

Don’t miss:

• Julie’s first-person arranged marriage story (01:15–14:25)
• Rachel’s on-air relationship “report card” for Hoss (17:20–27:00)
• Hoss’s confessions and the “drunk email” saga (35:00–47:00)

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This summary skips advertisements and non-content banter to focus on the show’s most substantial themes and discussions.

Transcript

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Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Flu season is here, and our pharmacies have you covered with a free flu shot with most insurance plans. Plus, it's cough and cold season. And now through December 2nd. Stock up on all the season's essentials and get ready for relief with discounts on items like Mucinex, Cold and Flu, Kickstart, Mucinex, Fast max products, Vicks, Dayquil and Nyquil combo pack. Alka, Selso, Airborne and Afrin offers end December 2nd. Restrictions apply, and offers may vary by location. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. The Birch show yes, arranged marriages still happen. I mean, they happen right here in this country. Julie is a Burt show listener. Not her real name. She's going through the process right now with her parents. Hey, Julie.

[D]

Hey.

[B]

Hi.

[C]

You're on the voice disguiser. Nobody can recognize your voice.

[A]

Okay, that's good.

[C]

All right, where do you want to start? Because as I'm reading your email here, there are a couple of different levels. So why don't I just throw it back to you and you just take it where you want to start?

[A]

Okay, well, ever since I graduated from school, I got my undergraduate degree, my parents have been forcing me or telling me that I should get married. I've reached that prime age of 23 and get married.

[C]

All right, let's stop right there. Let's stop right there. You're at the prime age of 23 years old, and it is time to get married.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Okay, now, your parents are from this country or from another country?

[A]

They're from the same country.

[C]

They're from here.

[A]

No, no, no. Not from here. From where this guy is from.

[D]

Can you tell us what country that is or are you not comfortable doing that?

[A]

Let's just say they're from India.

[C]

India. Okay, go ahead.

[A]

Okay. So they believe I should be getting married. And then, like, over the summer, they threw a couple of guys that they had heard about to me, and I was like, no, no, no. I've been, you know, very adamant about saying this is not what I want. And then finally, within the past month, this other family friend, who knows of another family whose son is looking to settle down. So I actually agreed to this because my mom told me how much he makes and I was like, oh, you know what? I'm a little shallow. I'm not afraid to admit that. And so I just started talking to him through emails.

[C]

O how much money are we talking about that this guy was making per year to get you attracted to him?

[A]

About 150 to 160k.

[C]

Okay. You're just being honest.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I'm being honest.

[B]

How old is he?

[A]

He's 27.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Okay, so you weren't into the arranged idea until they're like, hey, this guy makes 160,000. You're like, well, maybe this arranged thing's not such a bad idea.

[A]

Let's just give it a go and I'll set my mom up for a while too and get her off my back. Okay, so there was actually an initial attraction because we have similarities. We actually got along.

[D]

Yeah, he makes money and you like to spend it. So that could be one similarity.

[A]

Yes, that was one similarity. But I told him exactly how I was and he was fine with it. And we only talked through emails or instant messenger. Like we talked on the phone maybe a couple of times. And when it was on the phone, was there actually a comfort level? But within the past week, I found out that he's never dated anyone, not even just slept around throughout college, never engaged in having sex. He's never even had a first real kiss or anything. And he had no desire throughout college, high school, being a. Not even a two minute relationship in middle school that most of us experience.

[B]

Okay, so he has zero experience with women whatsoever. Is he, Is he completely socially awkward when you're talking to him and you know, emailing and instant messaging and stuff?

[A]

No, he seems to be completely fine and down to earth and relax and chill. It's not that he seems out of place or feels like he's a little bit sheltered. It's not that at all. Like he's. He'll go out with his friends, mostly with our guys that he's talked about. And he doesn't drink, but he'll hang out with his guy friends at bars.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I'm just kind of a little concerned. And my friend who's usually sitting next to me when I'm talking to him online, I left the computer for a second and she asked Him, Are you gay?

[D]

Oh, boy.

[A]

And I was. I yelled at my friend, and I was like, oh, my God, I can't believe you did that.

[D]

Don't ask him that. What did he say?

[A]

He didn't say anything. That was a thing I told him. I'm sorry. That wasn't me. That was my friend. And usually if I were to approach a guy and say, hey, are you gay? And if they weren't gay, they would become a little defensive.

[C]

All right, let me ask you this question. I guess I've got a couple of questions for you based on that. He has never dated anybody, never gone out with a girl, never had a drink, really hasn't done anything outside of the box at all. You thought that. Where was the indication to you at that point that he might be gay? I'm not tying the two in together.

[A]

He's never had the desire to actually go. When he said he never had the desire to ask a girl out to date a girl to do anything, that kind of gave me an inclination. Okay, maybe there's something that he's keeping. Either he's a sex addict and he doesn't want that out and he's going out with lots of different girls, or he's just not into the girl.

[B]

Well, my Julie, my first, you know, being gay myself, my first instinct when you talked about that is not. That's not an indication that he's gay. Like, for a lot of gay people, they want. They go out with people to cover up what they're doing. Like, I have never. None of my friends, including myself, have ever been, you know, like you said, never gone out with anybody. I went out with guys in high school, and I went out with guys in college. I knew who I was, but I was covering it up. All my guy friends, they went out with girls, you know, until they were able to be out on their own, and then, you know, they were able to do their own thing. So I don't necessarily think that's an indication that he's not into girls. It just could be that he's never been comfortable enough in that arena. And if he's 27 making, you know, almost $200,000 a year, then obviously he's been spending a lot of time also building up his career. Yeah, I mean, that's my first thoughts. You don't think it's a red flag for anything, though, that he's 27, he's never had the desire to even kiss a girl? I don't necessarily think that it's not a red flag. But I just. That red flag doesn't necessarily have to be the rainbow flag.

[C]

Okay, now, we're talking about a different culture here.

[D]

Very nice.

[C]

We're talking about a different culture here too. So, Julie, let me ask you this. In the culture that you're talking about, is this commonplace where guys don't go out with women, they don't kiss women, they don't smoke, they don't drink. Obviously you haven't had sex.

[A]

Well, I'm from the same culture, and I've engaged in all of those activities. And my parents probably don't know that I've had sex, but they know that I've worn out with other people. I've had their boyfriends. I go out clubbing, I drink. I don't know if they've known us most before, but they know pretty much everything else.

[C]

Does he know that you've had sex?

[A]

He asked me explicitly, and I was. I was a little concerned to tell them online that, yes, because I would never want to put that in writing, but I. When he's actually planning on coming here to see me in about four weeks. So I'm gonna tell him in person.

[B]

Mm.

[C]

Did you the piece of this that I'm missing also? Maybe I just zoned out for a second. Have you met him face to face yet?

[A]

No.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I have not met him face to face. Only pictures have been exchanged.

[C]

It's gonna be interesting to hear about that first exchange when you guys are face to face, because obviously it's much easier to communicate when you're on a computer or when you're on a phone. And it's a totally different situation when you're face to face to see if there's. Cause you're saying now there's no social awkwardness at all. But I wonder if it's going to be there when you guys meet face to face for the first time.

[D]

I think you need to take advantage of that face to face meeting and just wear shoes that totally don't go with the rest of your outfit. And if he calls you on that, then, you know, if he doesn't say a word. Kaching, you got yourself $150,000, man.

[B]

Yeah. It's too bad that Barbara Strans tonight, because that could have been there first. See if he accepted the invitation.

[C]

Julie, let me put you on hold for a second. I'm gonna take some calls, then we'll come back to you. I just don't want to put everybody on the voice disguiser at the same time. Okay?

[A]

Okay, thanks.

[C]

Hold on.

[B]

It's really hard to understand what she's saying on it today. I think it's because she's got a normally like high pitched voice probably.

[D]

I can try to adjust it, but.

[B]

No, don't worry about it.

[D]

It's pretty close.

[C]

You could turn it off right now. We're gonna take other calls.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Different Julie. Hey Julie, good morning. You're on Q100.

[A]

Good morning. I was just thinking that maybe the reason why he's never dated or had the desire is because ultimately he knows going to arrange something for him. I mean, I don't think it sounds like he's gay to me. Sounds like he's probably just a really good guy who he obviously has worked hard to make a lot of money. Maybe he's been more interested in that. She ought to be happy about that. She likes money, she said so. Maybe he just knew that it was going to be arranged. So why doesn't she just kind of take it from there and see if he's a great guy like he says he is.

[C]

These arrangements, I wonder. We'll get Julie back on here in a second. But these arrangements don't sound like the traditional arrangement where mom and dad pick somebody and you are going to marry them. It just sounds like to me like they've made very strong suggestions. Which doesn't sound so different than a lot of, a lot of different houses or homes and families in our country.

[B]

But I think definitely, because I think especially if he comes from wealthy parents. I think wealthy parents want their children to marry other people. Wealthy kids. I just wonder if the difference is Julie can't go outside that. I mean your parents can suggest something, but if you go outside, I mean, she could be disowned by the. I mean, I don't, I don't know how that works, but I think it's probably a lot more strict for her to make a choice of their suggestions.

[C]

Hey, rick, you're on Q100.

[A]

Hey. First of all, people like Julie, they give a bad name to arranged marriage. I'm an Indian and I know here arranged marriage, this term used to be historically pretty strict, but. But now it's not like that. It's simply your parents are trying to, you know, if you meet someone online or whether you meet someone in school or if your parents introduce you to someone, what difference does it make? There's no strict obligation for her to marry this guy. They're simply introducing her to people of the same community, which could be typical of any minority who would probably like for their children to marry within the community. And that may be a little extreme to some people, but typically minorities would do that. But they're not forcing Julie to really marry this person here. And secondly, this guy, I want to find out when did he migrate from India? Because if he has recently done that, there's still a lot of conservative societies in India which do not view having sex before marriage or you know, stuff like that very openly. And this guy may really just be too academically involved or like everyone said, building up his career so he never really had the opportunity. Not because he's gay. It's just we're punishing this guy for being a sincere, decent guy and not being a slut like she would expect him to be.

[C]

Thank you very much. We appreciate the call. Yeah, it really doesn't sound so different to me than what happens in our traditional culture. Also, like, I think what Rick was saying is there are social classes in India also and your parents would prefer you to stay in the same social class. It doesn't sound so different here.

[B]

Maybe in their culture it's spoken and in other cultures it's just understood, it's just implied. I do think it's interesting though, he said he's curious about this guy and when he. And how conservative he is in those values. Because the how he's act or how he's chosen to be in his social life could have everything to do with this arrangement.

[C]

We'll get her back on in just a second. Hey, Debbie, you're on Q100.

[A]

Hey, this girl isn't serious about her culture. She shouldn't judge it up against this poor guy. He's honoring his beliefs. And obviously she isn't honoring her beliefs if she's a gold digging slut.

[D]

Come on. We were all thinking it, but we didn't say it out loud.

[A]

Yeah, well, somebody had to say it out loud. And she just, she thinks that he's gay because he isn't interested. She doesn't want to go with her parents. She's obviously against her culture and she's not honoring anything. I mean, she really should take a look at herself and her self worth because if she's admittingly a gold digger, what does that say about her and other women that can't respect a man who wants to save it for somebody who's special?

[C]

I am going to reiterate what I said before where I don't think it's so different than a lot of different families in our country where if A guy's making 150 or $160,000. Your parents want you to go out with that guy because you are going to be secure financially. I, I don't think it's that crazy.

[B]

But I disagree with her. I don't think that there's no reason for concern. I mean, it would be a concern to me if my parents wanted me to go out with a guy who had never had any actual interaction with a woman in 27 years on this planet. I would be concerned. And no, I don't think she's a slut because she's had, you know, she's had, you know, sex before or whatever. Like, I think that's pretty harsh. I, I think that she's absolutely in the realm of right, of being concerned that this guy's never had any interaction whatsoever. I would think that's weird too. I don't care what culture you're from.

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Plus is on the hot seat. He even admitted this morning he's nervous about this.

[D]

I don't like this at all.

[B]

Anybody, anybody I think would be nervous about talking to an ex you know about. And it's all about you. It's all about, you know, how you were in the relationship.

[C]

And this is what Relationship Report Card does. Relationship Report Card is painful because you have to confront the people that used to be your boyfriends or girlfriends and they have to, they will brutally be honest with you, tell you what you did right, tell you what you did wrong, and then by the end of the conversation, you have a little bit better of an idea how to be better for the next person. All right, so who are we going to be? Who is Rachel? Exactly when did you guys date? And as you remember it, how did you guys break up? And how did it leave off?

[D]

Let's see. We dated from, I believe, junior year of college up until recently.

[C]

What college was that, by the way?

[D]

Appalachian State University. Go Penguins. You know it? Home of the Penguins. Yeah.

[B]

Is that really your mascot?

[D]

No. Mountaineers, I think. Yeah, the Mountaineers. But yeah, we dated junior year of college through about April of this year. Yeah. And it's been kind of on and off since like she just recently came down like maybe a month, month and a half ago. Right when I moved down here, she came to stay for a weekend. So we, we broke up just because we were just at different points in our lives. Did you let her stay in that crime ridden neighborhood you call home? I did not. I did not. But yeah, we broke up. Come keep me safe. Keep me safe.

[B]

Answer the door, honey. Answer the door.

[D]

Keep me safe from the weird man in the door. Make dog sound. Hey, somebody's at the door. I don't want to watch tv. What?

[A]

Just get it.

[C]

Haas told us this morning Somebody randomly came to his door last night, knocked on the door, some big dude. Hoss opens up the door and said. And the guy says, hey, can I watch some TV with you? Haas says, no, I got to go to work. Closes the door, and obviously the guy was, like, looking over his shoulder, like, getting ready to rip him off.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So there's this lore between the two of you guys that obviously you can't break completely free of.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So there's been a lot of breakups and reconciliations. Breakups. Reconciliations.

[D]

Exactly.

[C]

Hey, Rachel.

[A]

Hi.

[C]

Good morning. How are you?

[A]

I'm great.

[C]

Well, you understand what we're trying to do with Hoss here?

[A]

I think so. He just called me really quick and kind of said, but I don't really. I'm not really sure he wants to.

[D]

Know why you don't love him.

[C]

That's not it at all, really. What we are trying to do is make Hoss more secure and a better boyfriend. Be it for you eventually or for somebody else, whomever that's going to be. So he's taken a good, hard look at his past relationships and really, really, really wants brutal honesty from you about what made him a good boyfriend and what things he could improve on.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Why don't we start with the things that he can improve on, and if we have time, we'll get to the good stuff.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

I guess one of the problems that we have was that he was. I think. I mean, he's only 24, so I guess guys don't mature that fast.

[D]

But, you know, before you get into this, I would like to start this out by saying a lot of girls are really, really hesitant to critique someone, especially someone they still have a relationship with. So. So I want to thank you. I don't know how you set her up, Hoss, but she seems more than excited to share with us what would make you a better person. So whatever you said to her, that's really great. So anyways, go ahead, Rachel. What's wrong with him? By the way, thank you for your openness. It's really refreshing after some people actually care about the ones they're about to rip.

[C]

This is constructive criticism. This isn't ripping.

[A]

Okay. Like I was saying, I think he had hit an immaturity problem. He's not as mature as I would want somebody to be.

[C]

Give us some examples of that. That immaturity.

[A]

Well, he. He drinks quite often. He goes out a lot. And. And that's not. I mean, I don't have a. I don't have a Problem with that. But it's just a lot. I mean, like, a lot, a lot.

[D]

In a 30 day month, how many nights is. Is Hoss drinking?

[A]

I would say maybe five days out of the week. So I guess 20 days out of the month.

[C]

20 out of 30 days. And you say when he has a drink, he drinks to excess. So it's not just going out and having a beer.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

All right, so. And when he was. When he was drunk like that, did that. Did that cause friction in the relationship?

[A]

No, it wasn't. It wasn't really that. But when I came up, like, I would come, you know, every other weekend or so, and we wouldn't go out. Like, we wouldn't. We wouldn't do that. And he said that it was because he had already been doing that all week. So, you know, he wanted to spend time with me and not go out. And so it's kind of weird because I was like, okay, why would he want to go out every day but he doesn't want to go out with me? You know, it's kind of. So it's kind of strange. I don't know if you know what I'm saying, but it kind of looks like I don't want you to come out with me, like, and be with all my other friends, you know, and.

[D]

My thing was that, you know, being in the business that we're in, we're usually done by noon.

[C]

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Because this. This actually is not a forum for you to respond.

[D]

Oh, it's not? Okay, so I'm just supposed to sit here?

[C]

Yes, this is a forum for you.

[D]

I want to come back.

[C]

These were her perceptions of maybe why the relationship wasn't as strong as it could be. So you just take it in, and then over the next 24 hours, you can absorb it all.

[D]

Okay, I'll marinate on it.

[C]

All right, so we have the drinking thing. All right. What else could have made him a better boyfriend?

[A]

He could and he does. You know, and boys are different than girls. He could have done, like, nice, nice things. Like, sweeter things sometimes. Like, okay, this is an extent. He knows this example. We've talked about this one. Like, I was in college for two years, and after he graduated, and he never sent me anything. Nothing. The whole thing. I got care packages and stuff from his mom, like. Like a bunch of the times she would send me stuff. But him, himself, and even I left my license or my something in the bar one night, and he. He mailed it to me. He Overnight mailed it to me, and he didn't even put a nice little, hey, here's your license. It was just a license. My license inside of an envelope. And he mailed it to me, but didn't even write anything.

[C]

I don't think you're so. I don't think you're so different from most 24 year old dudes. So don't. Don't feel like you're getting beat up.

[A]

No, that's. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. A lot of guys, I wouldn't think, but I would do a lot of nice things. I'd always send them like e cards and text message and send him cards and stuff. And then he would never send me anything. And so that would know when I'm far away and we don't really get to see each other. It would kind of upset me, you know.

[C]

But this is good stuff. This is good stuff to hear. I mean, she's saying, look, you're partying a little bit too much when I weren't around, when I wasn't around and you didn't have time for me and then you weren't like more considerate. You didn't do any. You didn't go above and beyond. Is that what you're saying?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, and that's. And that's. I know that he's a boy and a guy and y' all don't really think about that stuff as much, so I would try to, you know, not think about that.

[B]

But I think her use of boy is interesting that she thinks of you as a boy.

[A]

And I tried to change that. I tried to say guy. After I said boy, I was like, oh, I should probably not say that.

[D]

Thanks, Rach.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Do you think deep down inside he's capable of love?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, he's a good guy. I really like him and he's really funny and he's my best friend, but I just think he might need a little bit more time just to think the same, you know, about me.

[D]

So did he take care of your needs physically?

[A]

Oh, God, yes. He's very.

[B]

Hoss is now in a fetal position.

[D]

I'm sucking my thumb.

[C]

It looks like somebody just kicked him in that area.

[B]

Well, instead of that area. Is Hoss a good kisser? Can you answer that?

[A]

Oh, yes, yes, he's a very good kisser.

[D]

Is there anything there that needs improvement?

[A]

No, no, he's. He's very. That wasn't a problem. That. For me, that wasn't ever a problem.

[D]

Giddy up.

[B]

I was just praying, right? Like, oh, God, Go.

[C]

Let this be over.

[D]

Mommy, take me home.

[A]

God.

[B]

I know I haven't talked to you.

[C]

In a while, but you know what?

[B]

This is one time I'm trying to.

[D]

Click my heels right now. Take me somewhere else.

[C]

All right, Rachel, give us one more thing that Hoss could work on with his next girlfriend, or if the two of you guys decide that you're gonna get back together for ninth or 10th time, that he can make it better this next time.

[A]

I guess be. I think maybe be more patient. He gets. Sometimes when he gets agitated. He gets. He gets agitated kind of easily with me, I guess, because we've been together. We were together for so long, so he. I think that he just needs to be more patient and be nicer and considerate. That's. That's all he. But he's a good guy. He really. I don't want to end on this is what you need to do. No, he's a really nice guy.

[C]

Well, don't you worry, because the only thing that he heard today was that he's a good kisser and he's good in bed.

[D]

Everything else is perfect.

[C]

I think that's really good stuff there. There's got to be something going on between the two you guys, because you keep getting back together.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, there's something there.

[D]

Yeah, there is. I mean, and we've had conversations over the past couple of weeks and stuff like that, but I'm just. I'm just really confused right now. I don't know really what I want to do with my life and everything, and I just moved down to a new city and stuff like that, so I've got. I've got some thinking to do, but, I mean, she's an awesome girl. I love her to death. And, yeah, like I said, I'm a great kisser. So that's all he got out of it. You didn't say that. She did. Yeah. The Birch Show. Oh, hey. Welcome to gift wrapping. Whoa. So we Saldana.

[B]

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[D]

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[B]

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[D]

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[D]

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[B]

In fact, Wrap up my old phone too for my aunt Rosa. Forget that. Aunt Liz will be jealous.

[D]

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[C]

All right, hoss. How you doing today, dude?

[D]

I'm good, man. I'm good. I'm kind of nervous. I'm very nervous.

[C]

If I was in the hot seat like you right now, I'd be nervous also.

[D]

I. I just. I don't know what to say. I mean, this is what I'm about to say right here has never been released to anybody except for this person. And it was only like a month ago.

[C]

Don't. Don't reveal that just yet. I'm not going to, but the deal with relationship report card is this and askmen.com is one of my favorite websites. And it just so happens that they kind of have the same philosophy that we do. And if you go there, it actually tells you that men should actually really take a good hard look at their last 10 relationships. And I think this probably goes for women also. You take a really good hard look at your last 10 and do some real soul searching and find out where it all started to go wrong.

[B]

Well, I think that you find in your relationships that if you don't face certain problems or issues either with your. Usually with yourself, then you get into the same patterns in every single relationship. You end up fighting about the same thing or you end up breaking up over the same thing. And so that's kind of why relationship report card. I mean, we had a lot of listeners who, when we started this who were like, you know what? I just can't get out of this rut. I date the same kind of people. I just don't understand why I can't get into a more evolved relationship. And so we kind of take a hard look at it and see exactly what the pattern is.

[C]

What we do is we ask you to supply us with a whole bunch of names and phone numbers of your exes and then we put you on with them one by one throughout the week. And then by the end of the week, you have a pretty good snapshot. Because like Melissa said, kind of like this, there's a common thread in between all the relationships. Sometimes it's gotten pretty intense. Like, remember that one girl that had like the drinking problem?

[B]

Mm, that's right. Oh, I remember that.

[C]

She didn't even realize it. And all of her boyfriends were like, yeah, man, you just drink too much, party too hard. And that's it. She didn't realize until the end of the week and it got really, really serious. So we thought we'd put Hoss under the microscope. And he gave us a couple of different phone numbers of exes that we will call later in the week. But he doesn't have 10 exes to even call.

[D]

No, only, I think I've only. I've only dated three girls. I mean, all three girls have been. I mean, there have been long term relationships. Like the last one I just got out of was a three year relationship. The one before that was two and a half years. And the one before that I think was a year, year and a half. Now you're counting that girl on the show that invited you upstairs. Oh, she a girlfriend or is she just. She was just a random woman on.

[B]

His last show that he was.

[D]

What's her name? The co host begins with an M. Madison.

[C]

Oh, yes. Yeah. That was a one night type deal.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Right.

[D]

So this is. That's not awkward.

[B]

Not a relationship, so to speak.

[D]

Right. That's like you might be able to do that same deal with no undies over here.

[B]

Dude, it's a bet. I have to fulfill the bet. It's not like I'm trying to.

[D]

I'm just saying you're lucky it's not an 11 week football season or else awesome to have you all sorts of ways.

[B]

Dude, I'm still married. What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? That's not funny at all.

[D]

Hey, bet's a bet.

[C]

Initially you said no pants. I really thought you. Or no underwear. I thought you were talking about Melissa, because this is, this is commonplace for her. So this is a little bit of a different snapshot than what we've been painting of you because while you've been having a great time here in Atlanta. I think you were the one that said he's kind of like a serial monogamist.

[B]

Yeah, but it sounds like those relationships were further apart.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And there's times in betweens where you've been. Yeah.

[D]

The year, the year, year and a half deal was like sophomore year at high school.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

The two, two and a half year relationship was like senior to like freshman sophomore year at college. And then the, the last one was pretty, pretty recent. I mean it was just. It was. The last one was right after the. The two and a half year one. Out of this three months after, how many of those three relationships were you completely, 100%, no holds barred, no, no, no question whatsoever. 100% faithful in God. This is where I don't want to talk about it.

[C]

00 Scoot around on every girlfriend you've.

[D]

Ever had, but the ex girlfriend doesn't know. Yeah.

[B]

This last one doesn't know.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, well, she doesn't have to know. I mean we're gonna get her on later in the week, but I mean it's not like you have to confess.

[B]

To her because we're really asking them the question. So we're not asking you questions in front of them. We're asking them.

[D]

This makes me so freaking nervous. I can't. Well, maybe you should have kept it in your pants. That's where it goes wrong for me.

[B]

I think you really do learn something about it. And the cool part about us doing this with you is that we all get to learn more about you.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And listeners get to know you a little bit better by know, you know, getting to hear from Your exes.

[C]

Sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes that's a bad thing. How old are you?

[D]

24.

[C]

Yeah, I. I'd have to be honest with you and say the same thing. Like, when I was 24 years old, there weren't too many relationships I had where I wasn't screwing around. Yeah, I'm not proud of it, but.

[D]

Dude, I can do. I can do stunts. I can act like an idiot and do all these types of things. That doesn't bother me at all. But this right here is just freaking me out.

[B]

Welcome to the vert show.

[C]

Beeping A real thank you.

[D]

Oh, God.

[C]

What now? You have given all of those phone numbers of the X's to producer Tracy.

[D]

I've only gotten in touch with one. One of the three. Tracy. I'll find him. You don't have to do that. Just give her names. I'm trying to get in touch with the other two. One I can definitely get in touch with. The third one is the one that. That might be the hardest one to get.

[C]

Why?

[B]

Because you don't want to talk to her?

[D]

Well, because.

[B]

Enough that she doesn't want to talk to you?

[D]

Well, yeah, I might have made a. Made a big mistake about a month ago, and she's pretty much cut off all ties. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Is this the one you told us about in the poster meeting?

[C]

Is this the one you're gonna tell us about today?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know where to start. You want me. Just lay it out there. Why don't you start the day. The day you met her.

[B]

Which one is she, though?

[C]

Settle in, get comfortable, cut off your underwear and tell us where it all started.

[D]

How long?

[B]

This is the last one, right?

[D]

No, this is the one. This is the two and a half year relationship. Not the previous one or the recent one? Well, we. We dated in sophomore year of high school, and I just. I got out of relationship, like I said earlier, a couple about a year before. And this was the person that I had lost my virginity to. Well, me and her had a. Had a pretty serious relationship and everything. So I started dating this girl. Well, her name is. I don't know if I should even say her real name. We'll say her name's Allison. Why don't we call her Virgin? Yeah. All right, let's call her Virginia.

[C]

Is she here in Atlanta?

[D]

No.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

No.

[B]

So this is girlfriend number one.

[D]

Two. Oh, girlfriend.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Girlfriend number one you lost your virginity to, and then now we're talking about girlfriend number two.

[D]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Okay. So girlfriend Number one's Virginia. Who's girlfriend number two gonna be?

[D]

We'll call her Alice or Leisha.

[B]

Allison.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

Okay. We got that.

[B]

I think we got it. Virginia analysis are now.

[D]

Okay, so lost my virginity to Virginia, started dating Allison. All right. Me and Allison dated for about two years. And we never. We never. We didn't have any problems. We didn't argue a lot or anything like that. We broke up because she said that we moved too fast. And in two years. In two years, all we did was hold hands.

[C]

That was too fast.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, so you slept with Virginia, obviously, but you never were intimate with Allison.

[D]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

It's just she. She had never. She'd never made out with a guy before. Like, she had never done anything with a guy before.

[C]

And she was how old at this point?

[D]

17. Okay.

[B]

Did you guys kiss each other?

[D]

No.

[B]

Nothing.

[D]

Hands. Oh, man. Yeah. And I was like. Yeah. She broke up with me because we were moving too fast. Because I. I tried to give her a kiss.

[C]

In two years, you tried to give her a kiss and she broke up?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Are we gonna talk to her? Because I wouldn't. I wanna.

[D]

That's the one. That's the one. You can't come down on her, though, Bert.

[C]

No, I want to know her side of the whole thing. Because we're here in one side here. But I don't know.

[D]

No, I swear, I'm not. I mean, I'm not lying to you, but. Yeah.

[B]

It's a small town. North Carolina, too.

[D]

Yeah. So Bible Belt and everything like that. She ain't kissing nobody but family. I don't. I don't know about that, hoss. I just. The only other person touched my boobies was Daddy.

[B]

It's sick. Dude. What is wrong with you?

[C]

Save that, by the way.

[D]

So, yeah, so she broke up with me. Oh, yeah.

[C]

So for two years, you hang in there, she gives you nothing but kiss, and then she breaks up with you?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

No.

[D]

Not even kissing.

[C]

Yeah, just holding hands.

[D]

Holding hands, exactly.

[C]

That hurts.

[D]

So she broke up with me and we basically went our separate ways. But ever since then, I've always had feelings for her. And I don't know why. You always want what you can't touch. That might be it.

[B]

You were thinking about it by yourself for so long.

[D]

Seriously. You know what?

[B]

It is just kind of became routine to think about her when you're by yourself. He never fulfilled that ultimate chase.

[D]

Yeah. You know what it is? She is sexual chick fil A. When is the only time you want a waffle cup fry?

[C]

Sunday Afternoon when they're not open.

[D]

But you can't have it because they close. So she was closed. You couldn't have it. That's all you wanted.

[C]

It is so 17 years old, she breaks up with you, and you still have thoughts and feelings about her. For how long?

[D]

Up until right now.

[C]

Right now.

[D]

Right now.

[B]

So you dated the third girlfriend?

[D]

Dated the third girlfriend.

[B]

What are we gonna call number three?

[D]

We'll call her Alicia.

[C]

We got. Allison is number two. Alicia is number three.

[B]

And Alicia was for how long?

[D]

Up until.

[B]

But how long did you date her? Three years ago.

[D]

We need the baby years.

[B]

We need the baby book of names that they always publish and just have that handy when we need the fake name.

[D]

I've been fathered. That hoss is one of those people that names all their kids with, you know, names that start with the same first letter.

[C]

Gotta keep it simple, man.

[B]

It's confusing as hell.

[C]

So now she obviously has moved on with her life. So what has her dating history been since you?

[D]

She. She's dated a couple guys, and then we both went to the same college together, and we got drunk one night at a. At a party, and we ended up in the bathroom together, just talking about, you know, our relationship, stuff like that. Stuff that happened, you know, while we were dating.

[C]

That's where good college romance happens, right?

[D]

Exactly. And I was, you know, giving her grief about her breaking up with me because we never made out.

[C]

And this was years ago.

[D]

Years ago.

[B]

And you did something in the bathroom.

[D]

We did.

[C]

You did.

[D]

Yeah, we made out for the first time, and that's that. She had me hooked right there.

[B]

That's all you do was make out in the bathroom.

[D]

In the bathroom.

[C]

So now you can't stop thinking about her.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Now, is she going out with anybody, or was she going out with anybody at the time?

[D]

I don't think she was going out with anybody at the time. I called maybe. Maybe like four or five days later to actually just ask her out on a date because she was single, I was single. Let's make it happen. But when I take this beyond the restroom, but when I called, she was going out on a date with another dude. So I'm like, God. And then that. That ended up lasting for about a year, that relationship.

[C]

And who was that guy?

[D]

Just some dude. Yeah, just some random guy.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah. So. So we kind of broke off conversations again, and we'd speak to each other very rarely. But it was about three, four months ago. I got wasted one night and decided to send a drunk email to her and proclaim to her my love for. And how I still think about her all the time, how I still want to be with her. And you know, everything about this girl that just that she's somebody that I would want in a wife or something like that, in a serious relationship. Yeah.

[B]

So you told her you're basically. You told her she's the love of your life?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Wow. In an email.

[D]

In an email.

[B]

Now she's seeing anybody.

[D]

I didn't know until. Until she called me a couple days later when she was drunk. But she is engaged with my best friend.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

So we gotta back up.

[D]

You didn't know that. That's.

[C]

That's where the story gets a little muddy here. If he's your best friend.

[D]

Well, he's not a best friend. He's a good friend from high school, but we haven't really talked since. Okay, since high school.

[C]

And in guy's world, you can be best friend with a guy and not talk to him for a year and.

[D]

A half, you know?

[B]

You had no idea they were dating?

[D]

No.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[C]

Swear?

[B]

Question.

[D]

I knew that they were dating.

[A]

Okay, so you knew they were dating.

[B]

When you emailed her?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And you were trying to stop it. You didn't know that?

[D]

I wasn't trying to stop it. I knew. I knew that they were serious, but I didn't know that they were going to be engaged. I didn't know they were engaged. That's honest. I didn't. I really didn't know that they're engaged, but I knew that they were serious and I figured that now was. Now would be the best time to. To let her know before she got married.

[B]

Because she's only serious with him because she doesn't know.

[D]

Going around in my head right now.

[C]

Did your friend find out what you wrote to her?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

When she opened up the email, he was right over her shoulder.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

How'd that work out?

[D]

For a minute.

[B]

Yeah. What did he do? Did he call you or.

[D]

No, I just found out. I just found this out, like Wednesday or Thursday of last week. Like, I sat there and had an instant message conversation with her, like, telling her, hey, listen, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you are engaged. You know, congratulations. But I had to let you know this is. I had to get this off my chest. I feel a lot better now. And she's like. Yeah, she's like. I'm sorry to say. She's like, but, well, his name's Brandon. We'll say his name's Brandon. She's like, Brandon was. Was looking over my shoulder.

[C]

All right, well, first of all, I don't believe that Brandon was looking over her shoulder. I believe that that's what she told you.

[D]

Yeah, I'm thinking so too, but I.

[C]

Think that she went and she told Brandon.

[D]

I'm thinking so too.

[C]

Exactly what you said.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Because then I'll get irritated if anybody's over my shoulder while I'm checking email and why are you gonna just be standing there just like, hovers.

[D]

What are you doing? Who'?

[C]

From Jeff's over Jen Hobby's shoulder right now.

[B]

Who's that screen name?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So at this point, did she cut it off with you?

[D]

I am her. You know, we had this conversation last week, and then I tried to IM her Friday night about coming on and talking with us and everything, and I was like, listen, I got a. I got a question. I got a favor to ask of you. It has nothing to do about, you know, what we've been talking about and everything like that. I'm not trying to do anything like that. Swear. But, you know, and just told her that whole situation, and she didn't. I am me back and just signed. Signed off right afterwards.

[C]

Now she's avoiding you.

[D]

Yep. So.

[B]

But I think. I think we should also talking to him, even though, I mean, I just find it interesting that even after she gets the email of love and commitment that she and her and her fiance talk about it, that she still is in contact with Hoss. How old is this girl?

[D]

Same age. 24.

[B]

24.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

To me, she may be using Hoss as hand in her relationship with guy with. What's his name?

[D]

Brandon.

[B]

Brandon.

[C]

Well, he was. Never mind.

[D]

What?

[C]

Nothing.

[B]

Oh, you're gonna.

[C]

I was gonna get naughty. Go ahead.

[D]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Well, my. My thought is from the girl perspective, it's flattering, I'm sure, to hear from her.

[D]

That's what she said.

[B]

And I'm sure she is. You know, it gives her, like, the warm, fuzzy feeling to, you know, think about that. And if boyfriend's been ignoring her maybe a little bit, maybe he hasn't been super attentive, you know, like he proposed, but maybe he's been screwing up or whatever, like, using this email and going, look, what I got, you know what I mean, is kind of giving her a little bit of hand in her own relationship.

[D]

I feel bad because, I mean, this is one of my friends. And, like, I didn't. I didn't. I wanted it, in a way, to get out just because I didn't care anymore if people knew. Like, I told some of my good friends before, but I just told him to keep it quiet, you know, don't mention anything about it. But, you know, once I sent. I sent her that email, I didn't really care anymore if it got out, but I. I didn't want it to get to him.

[C]

You brought the guy code, dude.

[D]

I know I should give up my man card right now, but, I mean, I. I didn't want him to know, but I guess I knew he was going to find out eventually. She sent me an, you know, an IM saying, you know, I was the sweetest, sweetest thing that she. That she's ever got before and everything. So I kind of felt good about that. But, like, I think we should all start calling her and just saying we've been in love with her for years.

[B]

I mean, I know that I grew up in Tennessee and you grew up in North Carolina.

[D]

I just. I heard about you, and I just want to let you know I'm in love with you.

[B]

I'm a volunteer. You're a Tar Heel, but we can make this work.

[C]

Is this one of the girls that we. We can or cannot talk to? So far, I don't.

[D]

I don't know if she'll go on the air. She's ignoring him. Yes. He doesn't know.

[C]

Okay, we gotta get producer Tracy on it.

[B]

You can convince anybody of anything. So the third girlfriend, Alicia, did she ever know about your feelings for Alison?

[D]

No.

[B]

Because you dated her. You dated Alicia while you still had feelings for Alison and probably. Were you dating Alicia when you. I don't know. I guess when you wrote that email, you weren't dating.

[D]

No.

[C]

The first girl that we're gonna talk to to do relationship report card is Virginia.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And she's gonna come on with us on Wednesday.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Okay, cool. And you will start to get a snapshot of what it was like for her and your relationship.

[D]

O. Not looking forward to this at all.

[B]

You're a sophomore in high school, though, right?

[D]

No, this was like senior year of high school.

[B]

Senior year of high school.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Still high school.

[C]

Still high school.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't know how much you can learn from a high school relationship.

[B]

And if you get crab, it's like, well, you know, it was high school.

[C]

And he's obviously matured since then.

[D]

So much pause. I just want to let you know that I've loved you since the moment I've met you. Even though all we ever did was hold hands. Feelings are muted.

[B]

Right here, buddy.

[C]

The bird show.

[D]

Oh, hey. Welcome to gift wrapping. Whoa. So we saw Donna.

[B]

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[D]

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[B]

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[D]

I'm the worst. I only got my mom a robe.

[B]

Well, it's better than socks.

[D]

So I have to trade in my old phone, right?

[B]

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[D]

Incredible.

[B]

In fact, wrap up my old phone too for my aunt Rosa. Forget that. Aunt Liz will be jealous.

[D]

Sounds like my family drama.

[B]

Oh, I got it. I'll give it to my abuela. I'll take reindeer paper with. Hey, where are you going?

[D]

To T mobile.

[C]

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