Full Show PT 2: Thursday, November 20, 2025 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Thursday, November 20, 2025 [Vault]

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode of The Bert Show blends the show's signature humor, relatability, and authentic storytelling across a series of themed segments exploring technology's impact on breakups, a heartwarming "pay it forward" charity drive inspired by Oprah, and classic Atlanta traffic misadventures. Hosted by Bert, Melissa, Hoss, Jessica, and others, the hosts connect with listeners over real-life drama, emotional healing, community impact, and local flavor, bringing listeners into their world with candid stories, lighthearted joking, and a sense of genuine camaraderie.

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Social Media, Breakups, & Digital “Drive-Bys”

(Starts ~01:33)

Key Discussion Points:

• MySpace and Relationship "Stalking": The group discusses how MySpace has replaced the old "drive-by your ex’s house" method for monitoring what ex-partners are doing after a breakup.
• Confessions & Gender Differences: Melissa and Jessica recount the compulsion to check up on exes online, joking about how "every girl has it in her" (02:29), while Hoss suggests this may be more common among women but notes it cuts across genders and relationships.
• Comic Escalation: Jokes about exes running into each other while "stalking" (02:41-03:17).

Notable Quotes:

• “MySpace has replaced the drive by...for some reason, the stalker comes out in you.” – Melissa (01:49)
• “There's got to be times... where they run into each other stalking each other.” – Hoss (02:43)
• “Your binoculars click when you look at—you guys?—‘What are you doing here?’ ‘What are YOU doing here?’” – Melissa & Hoss (02:49-02:56)

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Listener Jessica’s MySpace Spy Heist

(~03:30–~13:30)

Key Discussion Points:

• Backstory and Motivation: Jessica had a serious relationship end with cheating; she hadn’t moved on from the emotional fallout.
• The Spy Operation: Jessica creates a fake MySpace profile to friend her ex and access his private blog (03:54-04:05).
• The Setup: She discovers the blog isn’t about her; then, pretending to be the fake profile, she flirts with him, arranging a date that she has no intention of attending.
• Friends’ Involvement & The Sting: Jessica's friends go to the restaurant to witness the ex get stood up and text her play-by-plays (“the eagle has landed”—09:29), observing him waiting and growing more desperate.
• Aftermath & Emotional Reflection: The segment ends with Jessica acknowledging the satisfaction she got (“Oh, hell yeah. I felt so victorious. I was like, oh, this is glorious.” 11:59) but also notes she deleted the fake page and claims she’s over continuing the prank.

Notable Quotes:

• “I made up, like, a whole fake page and...requested him to be my friend.” – Jessica (04:02)
• “He asked this girl out to dinner...so I just thought it’d be funny, you know, that he goes there and gets stood up.” – Jessica (07:31–09:20)
• “It is crack. It’s total crack...I’m sure he has 500 girlfriends. He had two when he was with me.” – Jessica (11:28)
• “The lure of MySpace...is that you can’t just dabble in it. Now you’re behind enemy lines…” – Burt (13:05)
• “I promise you...if we ended up calling her back in two weeks, that she has done something else to spy on him.” – Burt (13:52)

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Pay It Forward: Oprah’s Challenge and Community Impact

(~16:40–34:46)

Key Discussion Points:

• Oprah’s Audience Giveaway: The show replays audio from Oprah’s $1,000 challenge (17:27–17:59, 36:27–36:59): each audience member is given $1,000 and challenged to do something extraordinary for others with it.
• Birch Show Listeners Christy & Casey’s Story: Christy O’Connor and Casey Osborne, who attended Oprah, enlist The Bert Show’s help to maximize impact back in Atlanta, focusing on helping "My Sister’s House," part of Atlanta Mission (18:23–20:42).
• Community & Kroger Partnership: Kroger teams up to allow shoppers to “round up” purchases, rapidly snowballing donations. Listeners and their families make special Kroger trips just to participate: “I got to the counter, and before she could even say anything...I was like, I want a pamphlet.” – Jessica (21:35)
• Outpouring of Support: The segment is filled with stories of the community banding together, testimonials from listeners, and emotional calls about how the funds are making a difference (30:11–31:06).
• Results Revealed: Over $60,000 is raised in two days. The hosts and guests are overwhelmed by the success (32:16–34:17).

Notable Quotes:

• “We said this over the last couple days that we have a community here, Bert show. Community, that is so unique to any radio station I’ve ever worked at before.” – Burt (20:42)
• “I am totally proud. Thank you very much. And my boyfriend...got a little excited, so he went to Kroger, too.” – Jessica (22:38)
• “The number, as of midnight last night...Kroger and Q100 listeners have donated $60,313 to My Sister’s House.” – Burt (32:42)
• “Mission accomplished with an A6. $60,000 in 48 hours based on your efforts.” – Burt (34:03)

Timestamps for Key Charity Segments:

• [16:42] – Oprah’s challenge setup
• [18:23] – Interview with Christy & Casey about the project
• [27:11] – Jim Bass (Atlanta Mission) explains what makes My Sister’s House unique
• [28:31] – Bruce Lucia (Kroger President) discusses logistics and success
• [32:16] – Fundraising total revealed

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A Listener in Need: How to Get Help from My Sister’s House

(~29:56–31:15)

Key Discussion Points:

• Real-Time Impact: A listener named Jessica calls in, recently single with two daughters, seeking info on how to get help from My Sister’s House.
• Direct Guidance: The show gives the shelter's contact info and promises to connect her directly off-air.

Notable Quotes:

• “I don’t have family around here, and I need a place to help me out. I recently became single, and I have two little girls, and I’m a young mommy trying to do what’s right.” – Jessica (30:17)
• “Let me put you on hold, and we’ll get you in the right hands.” – Burt (31:13)

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Atlanta Traffic Initiation: Hoss’ Bagel Run Adventure

(~39:09–54:12)

Key Discussion Points:

• Meet Hoss: New producer Hoss (from Charlotte) is tasked with morning bagel duty, testing his claims that Atlanta traffic isn’t any worse than Charlotte’s.
• Directions & City Banter: Long fuss about Charlotte’s population, Atlanta’s infamous traffic, and the allegedly simple route to the bagel shop.
• Hoss Gets Lost: Hoss quickly gets lost returning, ending up miles from his target, calling in for help (“I think I’m lost... I’m somewhere over, like, by Georgia Tech.” – Hoss 49:58), with the team cracking jokes and giving scattershot directions.
• Navigation Comedy: Listeners and hosts debate the best route home, describing Atlanta’s confusing signage and road layouts.
• Meta-Joke: “Let’s send him 20 West because I like the chance that he could end up in a different state.” – Hoss (53:35)

Memorable Moments:

• “He doesn’t even have the bagels yet...Do you or don’t you have the bagels?” – Melissa & Hoss (50:30)
• “I’m about to go under a bridge with a bunch of lights and it’s kind of scary.” – Jessica (52:04)
• “What's the quickest way to get back?...Let’s send him 20 west because I like the chance that he could end up in a different state.” – Hoss (53:23–53:35)

Timestamps for This Segment:

• [39:09] – Introductions and bagel challenge explanation
• [49:05] – Hoss’ call-in after getting lost
• [52:01] – Hoss reveals he’s passing Freedom Parkway, team gives rescue advice

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Overall Highlights & Memorable Quotes

• Technology and Love: The show dives into the very 2000s theme of using social media as a tool for healing—or petty revenge—after relationships implode.
• Community Charity: The “Pay It Forward” challenge captures the heart of the show, centering listener participation, generosity, and the power of a radio station to mobilize action.
• Camaraderie & Comedic Chemistry: The constant banter, jokes at Hoss’s expense, and the hosts’ willingness to share awkward or vulnerable moments maintain a light, relatable tone.
• Listener Engagement: Repeatedly, listeners’ stories and live call-ins are woven in, underlining the show’s connection to its community.

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Timestamps – Quick Reference

• Social media & ex-checking stories: 01:33–13:30
• Oprah’s challenge recap: 16:42, 36:27
• "Pay It Forward" with My Sister’s House: 18:23–34:46
• Listener seeking help: 29:56–31:15
• Atlanta traffic & Hoss’ lost adventure: 39:09–54:12

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Tone:
Playful, honest, empathetic, and sometimes irreverent, with a warmth that embraces both caller vulnerability and the group’s own flaws and comic mishaps.

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Conclusion:
This episode exemplifies The Bert Show’s blend of humor, real emotion, strong listener bonds, and community service. Whether lampooning digital-age heartbreak, celebrating unexpected generosity, or getting (hilariously) lost in Atlanta’s urban sprawl, the cast invites listeners to laugh, care, and act alongside them.

Transcript

[Melissa]

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[Burt]

This is the Birch Show. A couple of weeks ago we ended up talking to, we're going to call her Jessica. And I think she represents a lot of you guys. My space has changed everything. You know, and before you used to have to do the drive by to find out exactly.

[Melissa]

MySpace has replaced the drive by because if you have been in a relationship and you get broken up with and you get that power sucked out, you know, away from you, then for some reason the stalker comes out on you and you decide that you have to know what they're doing and exactly why they left and making sure that are they with somebody else? Do you know who they're with? I mean, why did they leave you? I mean, because I loved you and you didn't love me. Who do you love? Why did you leave? I don't understand. I'm gonna do a drive by. And now MySpace just makes it as easy as you being able to check up on them like every single day, every single hour. I've never done it.

[Burt]

Of course not. Yeah, you've never done that. Yourself. I mean, you're, of course, just something.

[Jessica]

Really knowledgeable, really knowledge a girl.

[Melissa]

And every girl has it in her.

[Hoss]

Now, I'm guessing in. I'm guessing there's a pretty good chance, because this is definitely more of a girl thing than it is a guy thing, even though guys do it. But it's more of a girl thing, I think, than a guy.

[Burt]

I think the drive by, the whole.

[Hoss]

Stalking, stake it out thing. There's got to be times I would guess in rel. In lesbian breakups.

[Melissa]

Oh, God.

[Hoss]

Where they run into each other stalking each other.

[Melissa]

Your binoculars click when you look at.

[Hoss]

You guys.

[Melissa]

What are you doing here? What are you doing here? Never mind.

[Hoss]

Couple of girls break up, right?

[Jessica]

I hate you.

[Melissa]

Don't leave me.

[Hoss]

So, like, you're watching her front door through your binoculars as she walks, like. And then she goes to hide in the bushes, and she's, like, right next to you. She's getting closer and closer as you're.

[Burt]

Looking through the binoculars, the face gets larger and larger and larger in the.

[Melissa]

Eyesight, and you both have, like, the. You know, the military camouflage paint on your face with the bush out of the. And you realize you've seen each other, so you run to leave, and you get to your car, and each of you have slashed tires already.

[Burt]

Yeah, this was Jessica, or at least 60 seconds of it. A couple of weeks ago, I looked.

[Jessica]

At my ex boyfriend on Monday. Now I almost wish I didn't, because I thought that he'd be, like, desolate. Like, not have a job, have a hundred kids by now, but he's actually doing better than I thought he would. But he has a blog on there.

[Melissa]

And it's like, you have to be his friend to read it.

[Jessica]

And it's about one of his ex girlfriends. So I made up a page and requested him to be my friend.

[Burt]

You made it up?

[Jessica]

Yeah, I made up, like, a whole fake page, and there's no way you.

[Burt]

Can dabble in his MySpace page. I mean, if you think you're just gonna go in there and read one blog, you're out of your mind.

[Jessica]

Well, it's the only blog that's private. Is the one about an ex girlfriend. All the rest of them are open.

[Burt]

I'm like, I don't care about any of that.

[Jessica]

I just want to read that one.

[Burt]

Jessica, I want to do something. I want to put you on hold too, because I think it would be fun to talk to you every day after you read another page. So that was a couple of weeks ago, and now that we're going to be talking to her a little bit more consistently. I think we got to get a little bit of history of the D who broke up with who. Why? There's this slight obsession going on, or at least curiosity as to what's going on. Hey, Jessica.

[Jessica]

Hey, good morning.

[Burt]

How are you?

[Jessica]

Good morning. I'm great, except for I've been listening in the past few days. You're like, there's this girl that's gonna come on, and she's totally obsessed with her ex. I'm not obsessed at all. Okay, okay, this is what.

[Hoss]

Hold on.

[Jessica]

I called a couple weeks ago because someone was talking about spying on their boyfriend or something like that, and this. I'm the girl whose boyfriend cheated on her. And he was like my everything. Like, he was my first every. Every, everything. So. What?

[Melissa]

No, I just said. Right.

[Burt]

We're just confirming with you.

[Jessica]

So I didn't do the cheating. I didn't do the cheating.

[Burt]

She came on. She came on here looking for a fight today.

[Melissa]

I know I didn't do it.

[Jessica]

No. Okay. No. So. And it's. I mean, it's been a couple years, and so, of course, I was on MySpace and I looked him up, and I was expecting him to be like, you know, still doing the same job he was doing, like, hating his life, like, everything, you know? So I look him up, and he seemed like he was doing okay. And I was like, oh, whatever. So I'm looking on his page, and I wanted to read one of his blogs, but I couldn't because you had to be one of his friends to read it. And so I was like, damn. Like. And it was about his exes, and I'm one of his exes, and I assumed it really was about me, but I still obviously had to see it. So I was talking to one of my friends, and she was like, hello. She's like, fake MySpace page. Hello? And I was like, no, I can't do that. You know? And she was like, well, if you don't do it, I'm going to do it. I want to read it. I was like, okay, I'll do it. So we find some girl on MySpace who clearly doesn't care what people think about her, you know, or butts hanging out and her boobs are out. And she just is like, you know? So anyway, so we make up this page, and my friend goes in and she spruces it up, and she sends all these random friend requests to these random guys and slutty girls. And once we got enough friend requests, she called me and she's like, okay, send it. So I sent him a friend request and he accepted it. So as soon as he accepted it, I raced in, I read it really quick and I copied it and I emailed it to the friend who was helping with the page. And it wasn't about me at all. It was just stupid. It was rude. But the thing that pissed me off about it was that when we were together, he was one person. And when I caught him cheating on me, he was a totally different person. Like, I walked into his house and caught him. It was like that I showed up at the house, we were going to talk, and obviously he didn't know I was coming over. When he walked out of his room, his demeanor and his voice and everything was different. And in talking to the girl that I caught him cheating on me with and his other ex girlfriend and stuff like that, I realized that I didn't know who he was at all.

[Burt]

You mean like, he had a different life or he was just a serial cheater type guy?

[Jessica]

I think that. Oh, definitely different life. I mean, he never cursed around me. He never even as a joke. He was never like, shut up. Like, he was always very kind and gentle and sweet. And I just found out the complete opposite from the girl that he was cheating on me with. So when I read it, like I said, it just pissed me off because I was like, he's so rude, you know? So anyway, he starts writing this girl, and, you know, he's just riding her and just flirting with her and being a total idiot. And so I write back to him because I'm like, he's such. He's so stupid. He's such an idiot. So I'm running back to him and I'm being like a dumb girl. Like, oh, this is so funny. Oh, you're so cute. Oh, I don't like guys because they're losers, you know, Just like that. And he totally, like, ran into the whole thing. So this is not even a day of emailing. Not even a day goes by, he asks this girl out to dinner, and I'm like, okay. So he asked me where I like to eat. I was like, wherever you like to eat. And so I just thought it'd be funny, you know, like that he goes there and he gets stood up. And so I'm just laughing about it. And I tell my friends and they're like, somebody has to see this, you know? And they were like, someone has to see this. I was like, no, it's just funny, you know, It's a Little stupid, you know, whatever. And so my friend was like, no, we're going down there. So my friend and her husband ended up going down to the restaurant that. That he was supposed to meet this girl at.

[Burt]

Where did you. Where did you guys send them to?

[Jessica]

I don't really want to say just because, you know, I don't want to give too many details, but it was. It was. It was a restaurant.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Jessica]

And. And the time that he said he would be there, my friends were sitting there in the corner, and I described them to him because they had never met him before. And they send me a text message, and they're like, the eagle has landed.

[Melissa]

And I'm like.

[Jessica]

And anyway, so I'm just sitting there laughing the whole time. They keep calling me and are like, oh, this is so pathetic. Like, he's sitting in the corner playing on his BlackBerry. And they're like, check the email. Check the email. Because he keeps playing on his BlackBerry. So I go and I check the girl's email, and he's like, here's my number. Feel free to call. Doesn't even say, hey, are you running late? Hey, you want to reschedule? You know, Which I was like, cool. So anyway, we just keep laughing. They were there for at least 45 minutes, and they had to leave before he left. And they said that every time someone walked in the door, like, he would perk up. You know, he'd look around like, hey, hey. You know, and the girl never showed up.

[Burt]

So you're just jacking with him at this point.

[Melissa]

What, so now you're just surprised he stayed that long?

[Jessica]

Oh, no, no, no. They left at 40. They left, like I said, after 45 minutes, and he was still there. And they said it took them a while to pull out of the parking lot. So anyway, we were just, like, laughing, and everybody just thought it was the funniest thing ever. So then I checked the girl's email later, and he sends her another email.

[Burt]

Saying what?

[Jessica]

He wants to reschedule.

[Burt]

Oh, really?

[Jessica]

Yeah, he was like. He just kept saying, you know, hey. He said he waited until a certain time. And so I called my friend, and I was like, how long are you guys there? What time did you leave? They last for, like, five, 30 minutes after the time that he said he was there. So obviously he wanted to play it off, like, you know, oh, I didn't wait too long, you know, and he was just like, you know, feel free to call me. You know, maybe we can reschedule. And I wrote back, and I was like, oh, I forgot.

[Burt]

So are you still toying with him now? Like, is he still sending.

[Jessica]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because, I mean, because it is crack. It's. It's total crack. Like, I don't really care about what he says to anybody else. I. I'm sure he has 500 girlfriends. He had two when he was with me, you know, So I don't really care who he's dating. And it's not that I want to get back to him at all. It was like the dating Antichrist, you know, like update. I just did it on my own.

[Burt]

But there is some. I can understand the satisfaction out of it, though, especially if the guy screwed around on you. Even though it's years later just being able to get back with him or to him in just a little itty bitty way.

[Jessica]

Oh, hell yeah. I felt so victorious. I was like, oh, this is glorious. This is the greatest thing ever. We wanted to, like. I was telling my sister and she was like, you should replace all of the girls pictures with your face. And I was like, yeah. But then I said, not, because then.

[Burt]

He gets the upper hand.

[Melissa]

Yeah. When's the last time you checked the page?

[Jessica]

Oh, I erased it the day that I did it.

[Burt]

Oh, come on. I don't believe that.

[Jessica]

No, I swear to God. Well, there is something, but I can't really say.

[Melissa]

Oh, you can't start that. What do you mean?

[Burt]

Yeah, you can't do that. You can't do that.

[Jessica]

His page is private now.

[Burt]

His page is private it now?

[Jessica]

Yeah, well, because he. He kept writing the girl, like, hey, let's hang out. What do you want to do? Let's reschedule. What's up? What's going on? Let's, you know, like, hey, whatever. And I mean, I bet I could have rescheduled with him at least two or three more times because he sounded desperate, you know, But I just realized it was. It was crack. I don't really care what he has going on in his life now that I know that he's such a loser.

[Burt]

Well, you know, he was a loser back then, too. I don't. I don't think that you can stop this. Like, this is the. The lure of MySpace is that you can't dabble in it. Like, now you're behind enemy lines, and with that power, I don't think that you could just absolutely stop it. It would be intoxicating, Totally intoxicating. Again, even if you have no intention of ever going out with this guy.

[Melissa]

Ever again, but you have access to knowledge.

[Burt]

Right. You know, and knowledge is his power for sure.

[Jessica]

So my knowledge that there was never a girl showing up was definite power. And it was all the satisfaction in the world because like I said, he cheated on me. Bastard. And oh sorry. He cheated on me and it broke my heart and I haven't seen him in years or anything like that. I mean, he was totally apologetic and blah blah, blah blah blah, you know, but still, all I could do then was cry.

[Burt]

I would almost make a bet with you guys right now for a hundred dollars that I would never pay off that if we ended up calling her back in two weeks that she has done something else to spy on him. I just want to check back quickly with you in two weeks because I guarantee you that you cannot, you cannot resist going back in there and finding out what he's up to.

[Jessica]

Okay?

[Melissa]

I'm telling you, I wouldn't blame you. I think you played it brilliantly.

[Burt]

It is the it's the modern day drive by is what MySpace is now you really should.

[Melissa]

It's so much more convenient.

[Burt]

Total this is the Birch Show. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest. For Albertsons and Safeway. Flu season is here and our pharmacies have you covered with a free flu shot with most insurance plans. Plus it's cough and cold season and now through December 2nd. Stock up on all the season's essentials and get ready for relief with discounts on items like Mucinex, Cold and flu, Kickstart, Mucinex, Fast Max Products, vicks, Dayquil and Nyquil combo pack, Alka Seltzer plus also airborne and Afrin offers end December 2nd. Restrictions apply and offers may vary by location. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Melissa]

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[Burt]

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[Melissa]

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[Burt]

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[Melissa]

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[Burt]

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[Melissa]

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[Burt]

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[Melissa]

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[Burt]

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[Melissa]

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[Burt]

Nicotine is an addictive chemical. It wasn't that long ago. In fact, it was just Monday. But in a lot of ways, it feels like it was three weeks ago when Oprah Winfrey made this challenge to everybody in the in studio audience.

[Jessica]

You know, over the years, I've given away cars and houses and my favorite things. And I can honestly say that every gift I've ever given has brought at least as much happiness to me as it has to the person I've given it to. And that's the feeling of I want to pass on to you. I want you to have that feeling this season. So here's what I've done. Instead of going to a lot of.

[Melissa]

Companies as I've done in the past.

[Jessica]

And asking them to sponsor my favorite things and give them to you, I went to just one sponsor, bank of America, and I asked them to help me do something that I've never done before because I thought this was a very good idea. I really do think that it's the best gift that I can give this audience. So everyone here today is getting the chance to do something really extraordinary for others. Okay.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jessica]

So you will each go home with $1,000.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Jessica]

$1,000. Okay. And that money, here's the challenge for that money. This is what you're going to do. You're going to open your heart, you're going to be really creative, and you're going to spend it all at once on one stranger or spend a dollar on every person.

[Melissa]

It doesn't matter to me.

[Jessica]

There is so much you can do with this challenge.

[Burt]

So Christy o' Connor and her sister Casey Osborne were. Did I have that right? Yes. Were in the in studio audience for Oprah and they got that thousand dollars and they happened to be Birch show listeners also. So when they got back to Atlanta, kind of asked us to get some help for them to make that thousand dollar stretch. And it just has taken off from there. Which was Oprah's original idea, obviously.

[Melissa]

Correct.

[Burt]

So you guys got to be feeling pretty good about things that have happened so far.

[Melissa]

We're feeling fantastic.

[Burt]

I mean, keep in mind this thousand dollars was just that before they walked in here. But even before we started with you guys, you had already raised a good amount of money.

[Melissa]

Yeah, we had. We had searched out some sponsors and people that were really interested in doing this for us and just, you know, really behind it 100%. So that was a big help.

[Jessica]

Help too.

[Burt]

So we turned around and we went to our friends over at Kroger who have always been big time supporters of the Birch show and Q100. And I know Tammy and I know Bruce personally, and Tammy and I have had conversations on the phone and they just have like these hearts of gold. So we went to them first to ask them if they would help also. And immediately the folks over at Kroger signed on and embraced this idea. And within 24 hours, Kroger had somehow some way passed the word to everybody within the organization. And now if you go into Kroger, you just. If you're going to buy anything at Kroger, it doesn't matter what register you're at, they're gonna ask you if you want to round up. And that's all based on what Christy and Oprah have done over the last couple of days. And we have been taking calls for the last couple of days now from people saying, I went, I went, I took my kids, my co workers went down. So it really has kind of like just been this amazing groundswell of support.

[Melissa]

It definitely has. I thought it was so cool because I went to Kroger, I did my little part, and Melissa's been 14 times, but I've only been once. But I went to ask them to pay it forward. And at my Kroger, they had a flyer already out there on the cash register. The cashier behind the counter knew exactly what I was talking about when I said that I wanted to make a donation to my sister's house. And when they, when she keyed it in, in the little number where she had to key it into their system, it actually came up as pay it forward on the thing. So I just thought you guys would think that was cool that, you know, it started with you guys going to Oprah. And it just. It trickles down that whole way. I mean, it's just so cool how, you know, it's just like you guys started it in motion. And with Kroger on board, the momentum has just been building and building and building. But with you guys on board, too, we couldn't have done it without you. Not at all. So many people have called and said, is that you and your sister that are y' all doing this show? Is that what you did? And it's just been fantastic. And if it had not been for both of you guys, we would have never, ever gotten so far. It's been absolutely amazing what we have done so far.

[Burt]

Well, we said this over the last couple of days that we have a community here, Burt show. Community, that is so unique to any radio station I have ever worked at before, that when they understand who we're trying to help out in the case of Burt's big adventure, they understand that Marsha's graduation, be it Hurricane Katrina, kids that need backpacks, or mothers and their daughters over at my sister's house, if they understand who they're helping, they just come through for us every single time. So while you guys are giving us credit, it really has. It's all about the listeners.

[Melissa]

Oh, definitely. It absolutely is.

[Burt]

Good morning, C.J. you're on Q100.

[Jessica]

Hey, how are you guys doing?

[Burt]

Good. How are you today?

[Jessica]

I'm great. I just want to say that based on what Bert just said, you guys, the Burch show could rally behind anything. And I guarantee you that you're going to have success just because we're so loyal to you guys. So whatever you guys decide to do, we're going to support you.

[Melissa]

First of all, don't give us that much power.

[Burt]

Right?

[Jessica]

Within reason. Within reason.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Burt]

We will definitely take advantage of that if you let us know that you.

[Jessica]

Don'T follow us anywhere connected. You know, Oprah, you know, you know, she's got some clout, but the fact is, you guys, we just really support you guys. But I heard about this on Wednesday, and I'd just been to Kroger, like, four times on Tuesday. I was a little irritated. But I had to go to Kroger yesterday, and I totally forgot. I went home, I got into bed, and I was like, crap. So I run out, I go back to Kroger, and that's my girl. I picked up anything, Something random. I think it was like, steaks or something. I don't even need steaks. But I got to the counter, and before she could even Say anything. Before she could ask me, I was like, I want a pamphlet. She was like, okay. She couldn't find the key. I was like, you know, it's on sister's house. Just go ahead, click it. Just click it. Click the key. And I calculated just so that my total was like 601, that I paid it for 99 cents. Aren't you guys proud?

[Melissa]

I am totally proud. Thank you very much.

[Jessica]

You're welcome. And actually, my boyfriend came over and saw my receipt, and he was like, you paid it forward? And I was like, of course I did. And he got a little excited, so he went to Kroger, too.

[Burt]

Thanks, C.J. appreciate it.

[Melissa]

Part of the snowballing process.

[Burt]

Yeah, I think this is really kind of like, has always been Oprah's intention with this pay it forward type thing, that it doesn't take a lot of money and it doesn't take a lot of time to make a tremendous, tremendous amount of change.

[Melissa]

You know, it does. And I think that was, you know, Jen Hobby hit on the nose the other day. This was part of her challenge. I'm giving you $2,000 or thousand dollars a piece. What can you do with it? Can you do it small?

[Jessica]

Can you do it big?

[Melissa]

What is your goal? And our goal was to make it huge. And why did you guys pick my sister's house? Well, actually, we started with my. My son goes to a school here in Gwinnett county, and we started with the Project Overcoat that they do. So we called the school while we were in Chicago and said, who does Project Overcoat? How can we get to them from them? We got to Atlanta Mission Atlanta. When I talked to the people at Atlanta Mission, we said, we want to do something that helps children. Atlanta Mission said, well, we have these facilities. They put me down to the children's shelter. Then we got with Laquisha. So it was just one thing after another. We started really large, and we tried to make it a little bit smaller, and it just. It. We couldn't believe where we got to and how many shelters they had and what all they did. We knew Atlanta Mission was large, but we didn't understand exactly how large they were and what type of an impact they had around here. So it just. It snowballed once we found them and we told her what we wanted to do to help. When I was talking to her on the phone from Chicago, I could just feel her crying, that she was so excited that we had chosen their organization. So I'm sorry. Anyway, so she just was telling me how happy they were and that no one else had ever done anything like this for them. So they immediately just got the ball rolling, trying to give us names and numbers of who we should contact, things that they could do on their end to help us. And that was how it started. And how long ago were you all sitting in Oprah's audience? A week ago yesterday.

[Burt]

Wow. Yeah. I mean, it happens quickly. This was the point she was making. I mean, you can make tremendous amount of change in a short amount of time.

[Melissa]

Right.

[Burt]

And that's what you guys have done. This My sister's house focus also was a little bit more personal for you, too, right? You had a dream.

[Melissa]

Yeah, my dream was to always have my own children's shelter. And so when we were able to take my sister's house and just really snowball it, I said, this is where we're supposed to be. This is perfect. And we went down there yesterday and spent about three hours with it, you.

[Jessica]

Know, and looking at it and the.

[Melissa]

Children and the moms, I was like, this is just awesome.

[Burt]

Yeah, it's an amazing place. We've been talking about them for days now, and their success rate is so much better than most places around the country also. It's just. It's a phenomenal, phenomenal place.

[Melissa]

Yeah. Like, Bert gave the statistic earlier that the, like you said, the success rate of my sister's house, which is, you know, like they were saying, part of the Atlanta Union mission has a 60% success rate. And then, like Bert said, well, that's, you know, six out of ten. That doesn't sound as impressive as it would when you look nationwide. 30% is the average nationwide. So 60%, anybody who's successful is enough. But with my sister's house, they have above average success, and they have a program. We took caller. You know, we've taken calls from listeners who are graduates of my sister's house for the past several days, and every single one of them says it does work. They were. And the one word they used was patience. They have the patience with me when I came in those doors to get me where I needed to go. And each one of them that we talked to, successful one's getting her master's degree. Another one is, you know, everybody's, you know, in a professional job and been able to be reunited with their children and raise their children. So my sister's house, obviously, is doing the work that is necessary.

[Burt]

Hey, Jim. This is Jim Bass. He is the chief program officer for Atlanta Union Mission. Hey, Bert, how are you today? I'm doing well. How are you? Great, man. What are you guys doing there differently than other places maybe around the country to make the success rate so. So kind of it's astronomical, really. Well, Atlanta Union Mission is faith based. I think that makes a difference. We have a spiritual 12 step program. We have, you know, like staff that really has a Christ loving heart. I think that makes the difference. By the way, we have six ministry centers at Atlanta Union Mission and we serve over 900 people every day, 365 days out the year. We provide food, clothing and shelter. You must have been overwhelmed the last couple of days when you heard that these guys were going to be helping you out. I could feel the energy coming from Christy and Kelsey. They're doing a God sized job. We cannot do this by ourselves. Yeah, there was a momentum and there is just a passion that they have and you just want to get behind it, you know? Absolutely. So again, thank you to you guys for coming to us. So we could help you in any way that we could.

[Melissa]

No, you guys have been amazing. I can't believe how quick you turned it around. Emailed Tracy. Next thing you know, Tracy's calling me. Yeah, there it went.

[Burt]

She's usually on the computer playing solitaire. So when an email comes in, usually.

[Melissa]

It pops right up checking out X's on MySpace, you know, that kind of thing. Oh, somebody likes me.

[Burt]

Bruce Lucia is here also. He is the president. I said he was the owner and I'm sticking with honor of Kroger. And he and his family, they really do. I mean, they walk the walk. They are involved in so many different philanthropic organizations around Atlanta. And Bruce, I just have to tell you, man, I mean, for you to embrace this idea with 100 and what is it, 34 stores, a little over 130 stores. 130 stores here in Atlanta. It is. That's a giant machine. And as I said yesterday, I think when you have an organization that big, sometimes it's tough to get stuff done quickly because the, the, the machine is just so big. But that certainly has not been the case with Kroger. Well, I appreciate you saying that, but first I want to say, Christine Casey, congratulations. What you've done is just phenomenal. And what you're doing for my sister's house is just top flight. And this town is such a giving community. And Burt, when you guys do get behind something, it's obvious this city reacts to it as they have today. And we're so proud to be part of this. And when you called Tammy and said, what do you think about this. And then Tammy called Ted, our advertising manager, and then she called me, and I said, yeah, let's try this. Let's see how we can help. And it's been a lot of fun, and we're raising some money, and we're going to give you a little total here in a little bit. But I think your goal to start with was a little over $5,000.

[Melissa]

I was happy with that.

[Burt]

Yeah. 5,000. And, Bert, you said 25,000. I was a little bit more ambitious. Yeah. I thought, you know, what if we could get $25,000 in just a couple of days, I think that would be a pretty amazing feat. Well, we want to beat both those numbers, but what we need to do. To do that is go ahead and extend. We were going to raise today till noon. We're gonna extend till midnight. Okay. Okay. And I think that's important that we do extend to midnight. Thank you. Thank you. And I'm proud of our customers because they really come through. And I'm proud of our associates, because to put this together this quickly was the job that they did, and I thank them for doing it. And Ted did a wonderful job, and I'm just proud of our whole team. So listen to what Bruce is saying. So you don't have to rush out or stop at Kroger this morning on your way into work. You can now wait till this afternoon or tonight also, because we're expecting.

[Melissa]

Or be like me and go this morning, go at lunchtime and go at dinner because you need breakfast. And then you eat your breakfast, and, oh, I don't have lunch stuff. And then you go and. Yeah, that's. That's the Melissa way of Krogering.

[Burt]

Good morning, Jessica. You are on Q100 in the bird show. Hi.

[Jessica]

Hi.

[Melissa]

Good morning.

[Burt]

Good morning.

[Jessica]

I was wondering how I myself could join the. The. My sister's house.

[Burt]

What do you mean by join my sister's house?

[Jessica]

How. How could a mother and her daughter get help from that organization?

[Melissa]

What, to be part of the program?

[Burt]

To be part of the program? Is that where you are in your life right now?

[Jessica]

Well, I just. I. I don't have family around here, and I need a place to help me out. I recently became single, and I have two little girls, and I'm a young mommy trying to, you know, do what's right.

[Burt]

I imagine you're kind of like, in. It's a panic mode at this point. You know, you're looking at your kids and wondering how we're going to make.

[Jessica]

It through the day not. Yes. And, you know, make. The biggest thing is making the right.

[Melissa]

Decisions, you know, making the right choices and making it.

[Jessica]

Yes.

[Burt]

You know, Jim, how.

[Jessica]

How does she live the life that they're used to?

[Burt]

Sure. How does she contact my sister's house? Burke. This is the numbers. Area code 404-367-2465. And as for Angie Stevenson, she's a shelter coordinator. She will help her.

[Jessica]

All right.

[Burt]

Hey, Jessica, I'm gonna put you on hold, and we'll get that phone number to you because it's probably pretty difficult to jot down right away. So let me put you on hold, and we'll get you in the right hands.

[Jessica]

Okay, thank you.

[Burt]

Okay, hold on. And those are the people that you guys are helping.

[Melissa]

That's awesome.

[Burt]

I mean, that's what's been going on the last couple of days, and that's.

[Melissa]

What we're here to do. So that. I think that's just great.

[Burt]

Well, we weren't going to do this, but we decided just a couple of hours ago that instead of waiting till tonight and telling you guys what the total is, nobody in here knows the total except Bruce. And it is written on this piece of paper right here what the total has been over the last 48 hours. I promise you, nobody in here knows.

[Melissa]

Nobody knows.

[Burt]

Nobody knows. I have no idea. Melissa doesn't know. Jen, Nobody in here knows except Bruce. Okay, you guys want to know?

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Burt]

Yes. I'm, like, nervous to open it up. Like, I feel like the dude at the Academy Awards. I think that's a better idea.

[Melissa]

The winner is.

[Burt]

I think it's a better idea. No, me. All right, All right. Your goal was how much?

[Hoss]

5,000.

[Burt]

5,000.

[Melissa]

Anything.

[Burt]

Now, I got to be honest with you. I was ambitious, and I said $25,000. I said, if we could do that in 48 hours, that would be pretty impressive because that's a lot of people going through Kroger. So I thought maybe I was going to overshoot, and I was wrong. The number. As of midnight last night, Kroger and Q100 listeners have donated 60,000. Wow.

[Melissa]

Wow.

[Burt]

$313 to my sister's house.

[Hoss]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jessica]

That is.

[Burt]

That is the change that you guys made with your $2,000.

[Melissa]

Oh, that is so awesome. Thank you so much.

[Burt]

Oprah's suggestion and Oprah's gift to you of $2,000. You guys have 30 times that and made it $60,313. Congratulations, you guys.

[Melissa]

Thank you so much. And that's just from the total from midnight last night.

[Burt]

That's just from last night.

[Melissa]

And we're going till tonight at midnight tonight. So thank you.

[Burt]

Think about. I mean, when you guys think about $60,000, think of all of the women that are going to be at my sister's house. Think of them just like Jessica was on the phone, having no place to turn with their children in their car, if they even have a car walking into those doors. And all of those families that you guys helped out with, just that $2,000, that's just awesome. We are.

[Melissa]

We can't even speak right now. So thank you so much, everybody that has gone into Kroger and donated. Just. Oh, thank you so much. Kroger have been fantastic. Thank you.

[Burt]

Thank you very much.

[Melissa]

Thank you to all your executives. Thank you, everybody in the stores for going in and buying stuff for your. All your associates.

[Jessica]

Like I said, you know, promoting this.

[Melissa]

And really getting behind it. Thank you, Burt. Show.

[Jessica]

You guys are just the best.

[Melissa]

I swear, you're awesome.

[Burt]

You guys made some serious change. If this is what Oprah wanted you to do, I'd say mission accomplished with an A6. $60,000 in 48 hours based on your efforts. Congratulations, you guys.

[Melissa]

Thank you so much, Bruce.

[Burt]

Again, big thank you to you. The deadline has now been extended to midnight tonight at Kroger. And once again, I want to tell you guys, this is no sales promotion that we got involved in. This is just something we were hoping you guys would do is stop by Kroger and just round up. And you guys have done that to the Tunis. $60,000 in two days. That's amazing amount of money.

[Melissa]

Unbelievable. Congratulations.

[Burt]

That's like 5 cents at a time, 10 cents at a time, 15 cents at a time. It's amazing. Congratulations.

[Melissa]

Thank you. Thank you so much.

[Burt]

Hey, Candace. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Jessica]

Yeah, I just wanted to say, I mean, I went to Kroger, and I really didn't know how many times I'd go to Kroger because I already needed to go.

[Melissa]

I didn't realize how many times I.

[Jessica]

Go to Kroger in the past three days.

[Melissa]

I've been there like three times.

[Jessica]

And I just was thinking, wow, my little 13 cents here, my 18 cents there, my 90 cents there. I did not believe it was going.

[Melissa]

To be that high.

[Jessica]

You guys did a great job. Great job.

[Melissa]

Thank you. I'm very impressed.

[Jessica]

Oh, my God.

[Burt]

Anybody that went into Kroger over the last 48 hours or will continue to go in till midnight tonight can feel the same way that Christy And Casey can, because all of you guys had a hand in that.

[Melissa]

Absolutely. This was a community effort. This was not just Casey and I. We could not have done this. It wasn't for everybody here. And once again, Oprah's right. She said that you can make change in a very short period of time. You can. Why does that woman never get it wrong? I don't know. She never gets it wrong. Over the years, I've given away cars.

[Jessica]

And houses and my favorite things. And I can honestly say that every gift I've ever given has brought at least as much happiness to me as it has to the person I've given it to. And that's the feeling I want to.

[Melissa]

Pass on to you.

[Jessica]

I want you to have that feeling this season. So here's what I've done. Instead of going to a lot of.

[Melissa]

Companies as I've done in the past.

[Jessica]

And asking them to. To sponsor my favorite things and give them to you, I went to just one sponsor, bank of America. And I asked them to help me do something that I've never done before because I thought this was a very good idea. I really do think that it's the best gift that I can give this audience. So everyone here today is getting the chance to do something really extraordinary for others. Okay.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jessica]

So you will each go home with $1,000.

[Melissa]

What?

[Jessica]

$1,000. Okay. And that money.

[Melissa]

Here's the challenge for that money.

[Jessica]

This is what you're gonna do. You're gonna open your hearts, you're gonna be really creative, and you're gonna spend it all at once on one stranger or spend a dollar on every person.

[Melissa]

It doesn't matter to me.

[Jessica]

There is so much you can do with this challenge.

[Burt]

Here. Bird show.

[Melissa]

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[Burt]

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[Melissa]

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[Burt]

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[Melissa]

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[Burt]

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[Melissa]

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[Burt]

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[Melissa]

So that means a half day. Yeah.

[Burt]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Melissa]

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[Burt]

Hoss.

[Melissa]

Hoss.

[Burt]

Hoss. How you doing, dude?

[Hoss]

What's up, man?

[Burt]

What's going on?

[Hoss]

Everything's good.

[Burt]

Everything's good. For those of you that haven't been properly introduced to Hoss yet, Hoss is.

[Melissa]

Our new Phil Tyranna. He is going to be out on the streets and doing all kinds of stuff. And he is a new producer for the Bird Show. Just joined us from Charlotte just a.

[Burt]

Couple of days ago. When he started his MySpace page, which is Hoss Bert show, there was what, one person on it? I think it was Jeff, maybe Jen Hobby. Also two people.

[Hoss]

It's actually very sad to look at a MySpace page that only has two friends. It's very sad to look at.

[Burt]

Even Tom denied me as a friend. There are 976 friends now on Hoss's MySpace page. I'm kind of a big deal now. You really are. You're bigger than life, Hoss.

[Hoss]

Exactly.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Hoss]

Ron Burgundy, he's so out of here. He's like whatever.

[Burt]

He was so humble. Three days ago, the same guy that wouldn't come out of his apartment had no friends. Did you go out again last night? No, I actually slept. You did? Yeah. Because it was a busy, busy, busy weekend for you. It was. It was.

[Melissa]

It was a Monday. So he's got to have one reset day and then the weekend starts again Tuesday.

[Hoss]

Yeah, exactly. He actually had a day over the weekend that ended with him standing in the living room of a fraternity house somewhere on the Georgia Tech campus all alone at 6am welcome to Atlanta.

[Burt]

I did.

[Hoss]

I did.

[Burt]

Pathetic. But we love it. So, Hoss, you said to us a couple of days ago, because people are complaining all the time about the traffic in Atlanta, that you didn't think it was really that much worse than it is in Charlotte. Like, what's everybody making a big deal about?

[Hoss]

Yeah, I mean, Charlotte has the same. I mean, well, not the same amount of people. I think Charlotte has like 3 million people.

[Burt]

I want to think 2 or 3 million people. Is it that much for Charlotte?

[Hoss]

I want to think like at least 2 million. Maybe a million.

[Burt]

That's a genuine question that I just asked because. Listen to my voice. I didn't realize it was that big.

[Hoss]

Yeah, I mean, it's. I mean, it's pretty big city, but.

[Jessica]

Yeah, I think it has, like, at.

[Burt]

Least 2 million people.

[Jessica]

So what? How many people does Atlanta have?

[Burt]

Well, it depends. If you read that sign there on. On Peachtree in front of the bank.

[Melissa]

It'S almost 5 million.

[Burt]

Yeah, it'll be 12 million by the end of today, but almost 4 million. I mean, four and a half million.

[Melissa]

I think it's.

[Hoss]

Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is approaching 5. I don't know why you hate that sign, but I think it really is.

[Melissa]

Closer to five signs.

[Burt]

Not accurate. Changes by a million every hour.

[Hoss]

No, it doesn't.

[Burt]

There will be 19 million people in town by the end of today.

[Hoss]

You sure you're not looking at, like, the clock? There's 1232 people here. Just afternoon.

[Burt]

Now, you. I mean, you may be living in a bit of a vacuum here because the times that you're out on the road aren't the times that the traffic's generally pretty bad here?

[Melissa]

Yeah, because, I mean, our schedule. One of the perks of being up so early is the fact that we don't have traffic coming into work this early in the morning. And then when we get off, and then we have meetings, whatever. Let's say it's, you know, noon 1 o' clock and we leave here and there's no traffic there.

[Burt]

So I haven't hit too much. Haven't hit too much at all. Okay, well, we want you at least to see some of it today. Maybe. I mean, it's not much, but maybe what we have, we would like you to sample. So we do need to send you out early this morning.

[Hoss]

Well, here's the thing is we've got. We've got some people coming into the studio, so as an effort to impress them, we would. You know, what we would normally do is just shoot right down to this restaurant down on Roswell Road called Goldberg's. Get a platter of, like, bagels and some cream cheese and some orange juice, and we just have it set out. And it's very hospitable. And they love that in Hobbyville. And that's what we do. You know, we learn that from Jen. We need to provide some tasty treats for our guests.

[Melissa]

And I already brought the linens and the.

[Hoss]

Yeah, right.

[Burt]

Jen started a bake sale a couple of weeks ago. It didn't go so well.

[Hoss]

Now, the problem is the.

[Jessica]

The.

[Hoss]

The deli that we normally go to is under construction right now, so. So we're gonna have to go to their other location. And it's only. According to MapQuest, it's only 14 minutes away.

[Burt]

Beautiful.

[Hoss]

So you should be able to leave now and get there, place the order, wait for the order, and get. Be back by how long? 8:30. I mean, that's an hour to go.

[Burt]

It's only 15 minutes. He should technically be 45 minutes, probably.

[Hoss]

But we'll give him 15 minutes in case he hits traffic.

[Burt]

There is no traffic. Traffic's not that bad.

[Hoss]

So we'll say 8:15, 8:45. And just so you know how you get there. And I've written these directions down because we know you have a problem.

[Burt]

Yeah. Now promise you and Jack with them on the directions.

[Hoss]

Absolutely not.

[Burt]

Right off a MapQuest, which always leaves you about a quarter mile short.

[Hoss]

These are. These are my directions because I looked at MapQuest to see how many blocks away they would leave him.

[Burt]

Right.

[Hoss]

But these are my directions. I know where this restaurant is, so, you know, I'll give them to you now, but they've written them down for you. Okay, he's gonna make a left out of the parking lot and then a left at the first traffic light.

[Jessica]

All right?

[Hoss]

And then another left. So left, left, left, right, on to 285 West. How's that looking this morning, Jamie?

[Burt]

There's no traffic anymore.

[Hoss]

Okay? Don't worry about it. You're gonna take 285 west until it reaches merges with 75, and you're gonna get on 75 south.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Hoss]

Another thumbs up, Jamie. No problem. 75 south. No problem.

[Melissa]

It's definitely not one of the worst intersections in the country that they listed yesterday in the paper, right?

[Hoss]

Yeah, don't worry about it.

[Burt]

I don't recall reading that.

[Melissa]

No. Okay, I didn't read it either.

[Hoss]

So you're gonna go on 75 south and you're. I mean, you're going down there maybe three miles. No problem. You'll get off at the Paces Ferry Road exit, pick up the bagels. And you know what? If you get frustrated on the way out there, which I'm sure you won't because there's no traffic. But if you get frustrated, just give us a call and I'll give you the directions back through Buckhead. No big deal.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I mean, the worst thing is, you know, a little rain on your windshield, maybe. Nobody.

[Hoss]

And the good thing is when it rains like this, everybody generally slows down a little bit. So it'll be easier. You won't have to worry about.

[Jessica]

It was smooth.

[Hoss]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

I absolutely hate you guys.

[Burt]

Why?

[Hoss]

Because you're gonna put me out in traffic.

[Burt]

Oh, God. It's not that bad. You said. Well, what time is it?

[Jessica]

What time is it?

[Hoss]

7:30.

[Burt]

7:30. Traffic's over. Yeah. Everybody in Atlanta gets into work at seven o'.

[Melissa]

Clock.

[Hoss]

And I think. I don't know, I'm not. I mean, I'm never on the roads at this time. But I know that if you go 285 Western and 75 south, you're gonna be going against the flow.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Hoss]

Probably Cool.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Hoss]

I'll pass those over to them.

[Burt]

Okay. It's not that bad. Don't worry about it.

[Melissa]

It really is the direction.

[Hoss]

It's comparable to Charlotte.

[Melissa]

It's not like he's trying to give you the wrong directions or something. That really is the directions.

[Hoss]

Okay, cool.

[Burt]

All right, so we'll see you about 8:15. All right. Okay, sweet. All right, man. See you. Bye. Bye. Have a good time. Adios.

[Melissa]

Make sure you have your phone so we can touch base.

[Jessica]

I got it.

[Melissa]

Okay. All right.

[Burt]

Is the battery charged? We kind of were stung by that. By the last guy.

[Melissa]

Actually is against the flow of traffic.

[Burt]

It is against the flow of traffic, so he should be fine.

[Melissa]

Pace is fairy.

[Jessica]

No problem.

[Burt]

What's up, Chelsea? How are you this morning?

[Jessica]

I'm doing well, how are you?

[Burt]

Good, thank you.

[Jessica]

I wanted to call and welcome Hosk to Atlanta. And I just wanted to say I hope he is on a lot because his voice is so sexy.

[Melissa]

Oh, my.

[Burt]

Most are calling in an email and saying he's got a Clinton Esque voice.

[Jessica]

Oh, it's just. I love it.

[Melissa]

Have you been to his MySpace page yet?

[Jessica]

I have not, because my Internet's been out, but it's killing me. I gotta see what this guy looks like.

[Melissa]

You gotta see his picture. I think you'll like him.

[Burt]

Yeah, there's a reason why he has almost 1000 friends already. Dude's gonna do just fine.

[Jessica]

Oh, man, it's. It's great. I. It makes my morning okay.

[Burt]

All right, cool. Thank you for.

[Melissa]

I appreciate it. Hands on the table and on the steering wheel now.

[Burt]

10 and 2. Keep him at 10 and 2.

[Melissa]

Yep.

[Burt]

Don't go past 3 o' clock and not before 9 o'.

[Jessica]

Clock.

[Melissa]

That's right. It's not quite 6 o' clock yet.

[Burt]

Go check out Hoss. He is online right now. We've linked on over to his MySpace page from all the hits. That's Q100 dot com. Good morning, Michelle. You are on Q100. How are you?

[Melissa]

Good.

[Jessica]

How are y'?

[Melissa]

All?

[Burt]

Good, thank you.

[Melissa]

Good.

[Jessica]

Well, I just wanted to call and tell you guys y' all are so mean for sending him out. I drive 15 miles to work every morning, and it takes me an hour.

[Burt]

Well, you obviously aren't using MapQuest, because MapQuest says it'll only take 15 minutes. Obviously not, so that's not our problem. And there's no traffic here. It's pretty. It's just about the same as it is in Charlotte.

[Jessica]

Oh, he is about to get the thrill of his life driving through this.

[Burt]

Thank you.

[Melissa]

I want to know how many people are in Charlotte, because it went from three to four to two to. I didn't know. I didn't realize Charlotte was that big.

[Burt]

I didn't think it was that big a city.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Burt]

And the population fluctuates in millions within minutes.

[Melissa]

Yeah. Now, did Charlotte make that worse traffic list yesterday?

[Burt]

I don't think.

[Melissa]

I don't remember seeing Charlotte. Okay, I was checking.

[Burt]

We'll see him back here at 8:15. Now, he can't hear us right now. You guys want to try to predict what time he gets back?

[Melissa]

He's not gonna be back before the show.

[Burt]

Not before 10.

[Melissa]

I don't think he'll be back before 10. I'll tell you, the traffic on the freeways that he's actually going like 285 west is really not that bad. It slows a little bit at Roswell Road. What's going to take him the longest is just to get to 285 from the Glenridge Johnson Ferry 400 area. He's going to take the longest.

[Burt]

He's supposed to be back here by 8:15. I wonder. Even if he gets to the highway by 8:15, and that's only, what, a.

[Melissa]

Quarter of a mile away, that's going.

[Burt]

To be the worst.

[Melissa]

I think the worst is going to be the first left out of our parking lot.

[Hoss]

Here's what I'm willing to bet happens, because. And I was just. I was talking to him or whatever, I went ahead and ordered bagels, But I'm thinking about it. We probably should have gotten lunch, huh?

[Burt]

Yeah, sandwiches.

[Hoss]

But did we even talk about his trek to the ATM when the DirecTV guy was at his house?

[Burt]

No, but we'll have him back on and he can relay the story, too.

[Hoss]

Funny as a little bit of a getting lost problem.

[Melissa]

That's why I don't think he'll be back before 10. A little bit of it between traffic and following directions in a city he doesn't know anything about.

[Burt]

Like, it may be 10 tomorrow.

[Melissa]

He should put breadcrumbs out.

[Burt]

It's the Vert Show. Christy, good Morning. You're on Q100. What's going on?

[Jessica]

Good morning, Vert Show.

[Burt]

How are you?

[Jessica]

Well, I was just calling to see if Haas is back, because he should be there in, like, four minutes, right? Yeah, we need an update on Haas.

[Melissa]

Definitely.

[Burt]

Yeah, that's not my clock. That's a MapQuest clock. And if you weren't listening earlier this morning, Haas, he's the newest member of the Bird Show. He's from Charlotte, from a little town outside of Charlotte called Stuckeyville or something like that. And he said that, you know, the traffic here is basically. Basically the same as it is in.

[Melissa]

Charlotte, because we've got reports that Charlotte's either 4 million people, 3 million people, one there. It's a fluctuating city that obviously has bad traffic.

[Burt]

So we sent him out to, what was it? Goldberg's? Einstein's. One of those places should have taken him, according to MapQuest, 15 minutes to get back to Q100, and we sent him out at 7:30. And let's find out where he is right now. Hey, Hoss. Yo. How's that Atlanta traffic, dude, I think I'm lost. Really?

[Melissa]

Oh, no. You don't have the bagels yet?

[Jessica]

Oh, yeah, I've got the bagels.

[Melissa]

Oh, you do? Okay. Oh, good.

[Jessica]

No, I'm just playing. I don't have the bagels. I'm somewhere over, like, by Georgia Tech.

[Hoss]

Okay, is that good or a bad thing?

[Burt]

Now, hold on a second. Now the Directions said. Do you have those directions over there, Jen? Because.

[Melissa]

No, they're nowhere around here. He may have missed the Paces Ferry exit. If he's down by Georgia Tech.

[Burt]

Yeah, Jeff Hos just called and saying that he's down at Georgia Tech.

[Hoss]

Yeah, he's not. Did he get the bagels?

[Burt]

He doesn't even have the bagels yet.

[Melissa]

Don't even have the bagels. Oh, well, he never made it over there.

[Hoss]

Do you or don't you have the bagels?

[Burt]

I do. You do have the bagels.

[Hoss]

Okay, so you've got. You got the bagels and I'm.

[Burt]

Yeah, I got the bagels.

[Hoss]

And when you got back on the highway.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Burt]

What.

[Hoss]

What highway did you get on?

[Burt]

75.

[Hoss]

Going which direction?

[Jessica]

North.

[Hoss]

There's no way you got on 75 north. You're going 75 south.

[Burt]

Dude, didn't you tell me. Didn't you tell me 75 south at first?

[Hoss]

75 south to get there, and then.

[Burt]

When you get home, you got back.

[Hoss]

Up if somebody tells you to go south to get there?

[Jessica]

I saw the sign. It said 70 north this way, and so I took that way. And how in the hell did I end up on 75 South?

[Melissa]

Jen Fallon the other day, Atlanta, man.

[Jessica]

All y' all signs are stupid.

[Melissa]

They don't tell you anything. The other day he told me that he was at Georgia Tech and he.

[Burt]

Was at Lennox Mall.

[Melissa]

So I think. He thinks everything is Georgia Tech. So don't believe him. He might be at Lennox right now.

[Burt]

This is the fanciest looking campus I've ever seen in my life. They have a Neiman Marcus here.

[Jessica]

Look at this.

[Burt]

Wow, an Abercrombie right in the middle of. Of the quad.

[Hoss]

I'm down here at the university. Let me go to the food court now. Gotta run over to Ralph Lauren and get a shirt.

[Melissa]

What road are you on right now, dude?

[Jessica]

Somebody help me. Try to get back.

[Burt]

Yeah, Massey's gonna do that. How does it get back?

[Melissa]

What road are you on right now?

[Jessica]

I'm about to pass about 248C.

[Melissa]

248?

[Hoss]

You're down by Phillips Arena.

[Burt]

Dude.

[Jessica]

Dude, I have no idea where I'm at. I'm about to go under a bridge with a bunch of lights and it's kind of scary.

[Melissa]

How many lanes are on the freeway where you are?

[Jessica]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. And then a HOV.

[Hoss]

Yeah, he's down into.

[Jessica]

I'm passing by Freedom Parkway, Carter Center.

[Burt]

What's that? Shit.

[Jessica]

All right, how do I get back now?

[Melissa]

What's really bad Is that when he turns around and takes the connector northbound?

[Hoss]

No, let's do it. Let's bring him home through down 20. Because if he's going to see the.

[Melissa]

Highway 20 to 285 and then wrap 285 around, you really want to set him up the west side perimeter.

[Hoss]

How's 20 looking?

[Melissa]

20 out 285, not that bad. Once he gets on 285 north heading up the west side perimeter, I give him at least an hour and a.

[Burt]

Half to get to 400.

[Hoss]

Just so you know, the old odd, the. The only people who call it the west side perimeter are traffic reports, right?

[Melissa]

Exactly. The west side of 285.

[Hoss]

Okay.

[Melissa]

The perimeter that goes around the side, the 285 that all a sudden says north, even though it's really going west? Yeah, Right. It depends on where.

[Jessica]

I see 20 right now.

[Hoss]

Get on 20. Which way?

[Melissa]

Take 20 west, Augusta and Birmingham.

[Burt]

One person, give them direction.

[Melissa]

West or east? Either way screwed.

[Burt]

What's the quickest way to get back?

[Hoss]

East, isn't it?

[Melissa]

Well, if he goes east, he's going to go out towards Conyers, and if he goes west, he's going to go towards Alabama.

[Burt]

Well, neither one. Neither one of those are a good way to get back to the radio.

[Hoss]

Let's send him 20 west because I like the chance that he could end up in a different state.

[Melissa]

So if you're a different state or.

[Hoss]

The ocean now, you're gonna go 20 west until you hit 285.

[Melissa]

So Birmingham. He needs to go toward Birmingham.

[Hoss]

Yes, 20 west.

[Melissa]

Why don't you just have him turn around and head up the connector and get on 400 northbound?

[Burt]

I think that's.

[Jessica]

I need answer. East or west? East or west?

[Burt]

Yes, West.

[Melissa]

West. West. Birmingham. Go toward Birmingham.

[Jessica]

Move over, people.

[Burt]

Go to Birmingham. Towards Birmingham.

[Jessica]

All right, I'm Birmingham.

[Hoss]

All right.

[Burt]

Call us in a couple of minutes.

[Melissa]

You guys realize what you've done to him, right?

[Burt]

It's the vert show.

[Melissa]

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