Full Show PT 2: Thursday, November 20, 2025 [Vault] - The Bert Show

Transcript

Melissa (0:00)

Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line. But first. There, the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes. I don't know about you, but it feels like you can't go anywhere without hearing about GLP1 medications. I mean, it's like the topic right now, whether it's your group chat, if you're at brunch, or if you have that friend who lost a lot of weight and suddenly knows everything about GLP1s. But how do you know if GLP1s are actually right for you? That's the tricky part. Hers is making women's healthcare so much easier. They connect you with a real medical provider who helps you find the best plan for your goals and your budget. And if the medication's right for you, it's all part of doctor developed program with check ins, ongoing care and 247 support. No weird hidden fees, no memberships, just help that actually fits into your life. Whether you want to lose weight or grow thicker, fuller hair or find relief from anxiety, hers has you covered. Visit for hers.combert to get a personalized, affordable plan that just gets you. That's F O R h e r s.com Bert for hers.com Bert weight loss by hers is not available everywhere. Compounded drug products are not approved or evaluated for safety, effectiveness or quality by the fda. Prescription required. See website for full details, important safety information and restrictions. Actual price depends on product and plan purchased.

Burt (1:33)

This is the Birch Show. A couple of weeks ago we ended up talking to, we're going to call her Jessica. And I think she represents a lot of you guys. My space has changed everything. You know, and before you used to have to do the drive by to find out exactly.

Melissa (1:49)

MySpace has replaced the drive by because if you have been in a relationship and you get broken up with and you get that power sucked out, you know, away from you, then for some reason the stalker comes out on you and you decide that you have to know what they're doing and exactly why they left and making sure that are they with somebody else? Do you know who they're with? I mean, why did they leave you? I mean, because I loved you and you didn't love me. Who do you love? Why did you leave? I don't understand. I'm gonna do a drive by. And now MySpace just makes it as easy as you being able to check up on them like every single day, every single hour. I've never done it.

Burt (2:18)

Of course not. Yeah, you've never done that. Yourself. I mean, you're, of course, just something.

Jessica (2:24)

Really knowledgeable, really knowledge a girl.

Melissa (2:29)

And every girl has it in her.

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Thursday, November 20, 2025 [Vault]

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode of The Bert Show blends the show's signature humor, relatability, and authentic storytelling across a series of themed segments exploring technology's impact on breakups, a heartwarming "pay it forward" charity drive inspired by Oprah, and classic Atlanta traffic misadventures. Hosted by Bert, Melissa, Hoss, Jessica, and others, the hosts connect with listeners over real-life drama, emotional healing, community impact, and local flavor, bringing listeners into their world with candid stories, lighthearted joking, and a sense of genuine camaraderie.

Social Media, Breakups, & Digital “Drive-Bys”

(Starts ~01:33)

Key Discussion Points:

MySpace and Relationship "Stalking": The group discusses how MySpace has replaced the old "drive-by your ex’s house" method for monitoring what ex-partners are doing after a breakup.
Confessions & Gender Differences: Melissa and Jessica recount the compulsion to check up on exes online, joking about how "every girl has it in her" (02:29), while Hoss suggests this may be more common among women but notes it cuts across genders and relationships.
Comic Escalation: Jokes about exes running into each other while "stalking" (02:41-03:17).

Notable Quotes:

“MySpace has replaced the drive by...for some reason, the stalker comes out in you.” – Melissa (01:49)
“There's got to be times... where they run into each other stalking each other.” – Hoss (02:43)
“Your binoculars click when you look at—you guys?—‘What are you doing here?’ ‘What are YOU doing here?’” – Melissa & Hoss (02:49-02:56)

Listener Jessica’s MySpace Spy Heist

(~03:30–~13:30)

Key Discussion Points:

Backstory and Motivation: Jessica had a serious relationship end with cheating; she hadn’t moved on from the emotional fallout.
The Spy Operation: Jessica creates a fake MySpace profile to friend her ex and access his private blog (03:54-04:05).
The Setup: She discovers the blog isn’t about her; then, pretending to be the fake profile, she flirts with him, arranging a date that she has no intention of attending.
Friends’ Involvement & The Sting: Jessica's friends go to the restaurant to witness the ex get stood up and text her play-by-plays (“the eagle has landed”—09:29), observing him waiting and growing more desperate.
Aftermath & Emotional Reflection: The segment ends with Jessica acknowledging the satisfaction she got (“Oh, hell yeah. I felt so victorious. I was like, oh, this is glorious.” 11:59) but also notes she deleted the fake page and claims she’s over continuing the prank.

Notable Quotes:

“I made up, like, a whole fake page and...requested him to be my friend.” – Jessica (04:02)
“He asked this girl out to dinner...so I just thought it’d be funny, you know, that he goes there and gets stood up.” – Jessica (07:31–09:20)
“It is crack. It’s total crack...I’m sure he has 500 girlfriends. He had two when he was with me.” – Jessica (11:28)
“The lure of MySpace...is that you can’t just dabble in it. Now you’re behind enemy lines…” – Burt (13:05)
“I promise you...if we ended up calling her back in two weeks, that she has done something else to spy on him.” – Burt (13:52)

Pay It Forward: Oprah’s Challenge and Community Impact

(~16:40–34:46)

Key Discussion Points:

Oprah’s Audience Giveaway: The show replays audio from Oprah’s $1,000 challenge (17:27–17:59, 36:27–36:59): each audience member is given $1,000 and challenged to do something extraordinary for others with it.
Birch Show Listeners Christy & Casey’s Story: Christy O’Connor and Casey Osborne, who attended Oprah, enlist The Bert Show’s help to maximize impact back in Atlanta, focusing on helping "My Sister’s House," part of Atlanta Mission (18:23–20:42).
Community & Kroger Partnership: Kroger teams up to allow shoppers to “round up” purchases, rapidly snowballing donations. Listeners and their families make special Kroger trips just to participate: “I got to the counter, and before she could even say anything...I was like, I want a pamphlet.” – Jessica (21:35)
Outpouring of Support: The segment is filled with stories of the community banding together, testimonials from listeners, and emotional calls about how the funds are making a difference (30:11–31:06).
Results Revealed: Over $60,000 is raised in two days. The hosts and guests are overwhelmed by the success (32:16–34:17).

Notable Quotes:

“We said this over the last couple days that we have a community here, Bert show. Community, that is so unique to any radio station I’ve ever worked at before.” – Burt (20:42)
“I am totally proud. Thank you very much. And my boyfriend...got a little excited, so he went to Kroger, too.” – Jessica (22:38)
“The number, as of midnight last night...Kroger and Q100 listeners have donated $60,313 to My Sister’s House.” – Burt (32:42)
“Mission accomplished with an A6. $60,000 in 48 hours based on your efforts.” – Burt (34:03)

Timestamps for Key Charity Segments:

[16:42] – Oprah’s challenge setup
[18:23] – Interview with Christy & Casey about the project
[27:11] – Jim Bass (Atlanta Mission) explains what makes My Sister’s House unique
[28:31] – Bruce Lucia (Kroger President) discusses logistics and success
[32:16] – Fundraising total revealed

A Listener in Need: How to Get Help from My Sister’s House

(~29:56–31:15)

Key Discussion Points:

Real-Time Impact: A listener named Jessica calls in, recently single with two daughters, seeking info on how to get help from My Sister’s House.
Direct Guidance: The show gives the shelter's contact info and promises to connect her directly off-air.

Notable Quotes:

“I don’t have family around here, and I need a place to help me out. I recently became single, and I have two little girls, and I’m a young mommy trying to do what’s right.” – Jessica (30:17)
“Let me put you on hold, and we’ll get you in the right hands.” – Burt (31:13)

Atlanta Traffic Initiation: Hoss’ Bagel Run Adventure

(~39:09–54:12)

Key Discussion Points:

Meet Hoss: New producer Hoss (from Charlotte) is tasked with morning bagel duty, testing his claims that Atlanta traffic isn’t any worse than Charlotte’s.
Directions & City Banter: Long fuss about Charlotte’s population, Atlanta’s infamous traffic, and the allegedly simple route to the bagel shop.
Hoss Gets Lost: Hoss quickly gets lost returning, ending up miles from his target, calling in for help (“I think I’m lost... I’m somewhere over, like, by Georgia Tech.” – Hoss 49:58), with the team cracking jokes and giving scattershot directions.
Navigation Comedy: Listeners and hosts debate the best route home, describing Atlanta’s confusing signage and road layouts.
Meta-Joke: “Let’s send him 20 West because I like the chance that he could end up in a different state.” – Hoss (53:35)

Memorable Moments:

“He doesn’t even have the bagels yet...Do you or don’t you have the bagels?” – Melissa & Hoss (50:30)
“I’m about to go under a bridge with a bunch of lights and it’s kind of scary.” – Jessica (52:04)
“What's the quickest way to get back?...Let’s send him 20 west because I like the chance that he could end up in a different state.” – Hoss (53:23–53:35)

Timestamps for This Segment:

[39:09] – Introductions and bagel challenge explanation
[49:05] – Hoss’ call-in after getting lost
[52:01] – Hoss reveals he’s passing Freedom Parkway, team gives rescue advice

Overall Highlights & Memorable Quotes

Technology and Love: The show dives into the very 2000s theme of using social media as a tool for healing—or petty revenge—after relationships implode.
Community Charity: The “Pay It Forward” challenge captures the heart of the show, centering listener participation, generosity, and the power of a radio station to mobilize action.
Camaraderie & Comedic Chemistry: The constant banter, jokes at Hoss’s expense, and the hosts’ willingness to share awkward or vulnerable moments maintain a light, relatable tone.
Listener Engagement: Repeatedly, listeners’ stories and live call-ins are woven in, underlining the show’s connection to its community.

Timestamps – Quick Reference

Social media & ex-checking stories: 01:33–13:30
Oprah’s challenge recap: 16:42, 36:27
"Pay It Forward" with My Sister’s House: 18:23–34:46
Listener seeking help: 29:56–31:15
Atlanta traffic & Hoss’ lost adventure: 39:09–54:12

Tone:
Playful, honest, empathetic, and sometimes irreverent, with a warmth that embraces both caller vulnerability and the group’s own flaws and comic mishaps.

Conclusion:
This episode exemplifies The Bert Show’s blend of humor, real emotion, strong listener bonds, and community service. Whether lampooning digital-age heartbreak, celebrating unexpected generosity, or getting (hilariously) lost in Atlanta’s urban sprawl, the cast invites listeners to laugh, care, and act alongside them.