The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, November 11
Date: November 11, 2025
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Bert Show Cast
Episode Theme: Authentic laughter, real-life dilemmas, and lighthearted fun—this episode dives into parenting conundrums, office time-wasting confessions, and a Pride tradition full of playful mischief.
Episode Overview
This episode captures the essence of The Bert Show's style: blending humor and compassion with candid listener calls and quirky team banter. The main focus is “Crystal’s Dilemma”—a mother questioning whether to let her young son wear his favorite (sparkly, "Princess"-labeled) shirt to his first day of kindergarten. The episode also features a stroll through distracting office websites and the show's annual "Smear the Straight" event in honor of Atlanta Pride.
1. Listener Dilemma: Should Crystal Let Her Son Wear a "Princess" Shirt? (00:50–22:24)
Background
- Crystal calls in seeking guidance: Her five-year-old son wants to wear his favorite black, sparkly "Princess" t-shirt to his first day of kindergarten—a hand-me-down from his big sister. Crystal worries about judgment from teachers, students, and other parents, while her husband thinks it’s not a big deal.
Discussion Highlights
Parental Concerns
-
Crystal:
- Wants to spare her son potential embarrassment or teasing.
- Feels conflicted as her son is deeply attached to the shirt.
- “It's like throwing your favorite teddy bear away. Okay, he's attached to it.” (03:44)
-
Hosts' Initial Reactions:
- Jokes about altering the shirt, making it “ghetto off-center print.” (03:04)
- Debate around whether the issue is the word "princess" being for girls.
Expert Opinions
-
Steve, Assistant Principal:
- Stresses first impressions matter—more for teachers and staff than kids themselves.
- “Perception is so much in the school system…it really can set up some things for later on, perception wise.” (05:15)
- Believes parents set the tone, cautioning about possible long-term judgments.
-
Tara, Social Worker/Child Development:
- Emphasizes the shirt as a security object for the child.
- Suggestion: compromise by letting the boy bring the shirt in his backpack or wear it under another shirt.
- “What if we bargained with him...you can have it with you, but maybe you pick a special brand new shirt?” (09:13)
-
Mandy, Listener & Mom:
- Agrees on possible compromise—layering the shirt under another to allow comfort and support the child’s sense of control.
- “Layers are totally in style right now. Don't be a booger.” (10:56)
-
Scott, Listener:
- Recommends channeling the love for sparkles: “Let him pick up some sparkles and make him a little more masculine one…”
Deeper Concerns and Self-Reflection
- Are Crystal's Fears About Her Son…or Herself?
- Jody, listener: “I think you're more worried about what people think of you as a parent than the child.” (15:12)
- Others: Wearing a princess shirt is not the biggest thing he’ll get teased for in life; lesson in autonomy and resilience.
The "Let Kids Be Kids" Argument
- Some hosts and callers suggest, ultimately, it's a small thing—a child should be allowed their choices, especially when they're so young.
Counterpoint: Long-Term Social Impact
- Kim, High School Counselor:
- Warns that kids do remember such details even years later, possibly fueling teasing into middle or high school.
- “He will forever be that child who wore the pink shirt on the first day of school. These kids grow up together… it really can stigmatize them.” (16:38)
Where Does the Show Land?
- Divided: Some hosts say let the kid wear it, others—especially after school staff calls—caution against it for the sake of future discomfort.
- Crystal leans toward steering her son away from the shirt, considering the feedback but valuing some of the gentle compromise solutions.
- Memorable Quote:
- “Let it, let him wear it. Even though in ninth grade one of his friends at school could find that picture?” (21:50)
Key Segment Timestamps:
- The dilemma begins: (00:50)
- Assistant Principal Steve weighs in: (05:15)
- Child Social Worker Tara suggests a compromise: (09:02)
- Listeners debate Crystal's real motivation: (15:10)
- High School Counselor Kim warns of long-term impact: (16:36)
2. Lighthearted Segment: Websites That Waste Your Office Time (24:42–35:20)
Setup:
- In a lighter segment, the crew and listeners swap stories about the websites and games that derail productivity at work.
Favorite Distractions:
-
Solo Games & Classics:
- Collapse, Pop It, Bubble Wrap, Poppers: “Hours. I would play that for hours.” (26:10)
- Online Sudoku—confessed prowess and beginner’s struggles.
- Jumble comic page puzzles.
-
Unexpected Favorites:
- GwinnettCountySherriff.com – Mug shots, amusingly guessing offenses. “Try to guess what they did, then look to see what they really did.” (29:28)
- Oddtod.com—quirky cartoons and stories by an unemployed cartoonist.
- Uglydresses.com – Critiquing horrific wedding and prom dresses.
- WeddingBedding.com – “Rate how long couples will last based on their wedding pictures.”
- TelevisionWithoutPity.com – TV recap humor.
- Tabloid summaries (Unnamed website): “You don’t have to buy all the tabloids anymore.”
Memorable Quotes:
- “At least there's something to read. With others, it's like kicking a soccer ball up on a shoe for three hours.” (25:38)
- “If you recently got arrested by Gwinnett county and you're going right now, you're praying. Please, Jeff, don't say my name.” (31:09)
Key Segment Timestamps:
- Site distractions start: (24:42)
- “Pop It” fan confessions: (27:25)
- Gwinnett Sheriff mugshots: (28:51)
- “Ugly Dresses” and “Wedding Bedding” intros: (32:10–33:32)
3. Annual Tradition: "Smear the Straight" for Pride (36:07–48:53)
Background:
- The team marks Atlanta Pride with their twist on the childhood football game “Smear the Queer,” recasting it as “Smear the Straight.” Phil, the show's straight guy, is the running target, tackled by local gay athletes in celebration.
Event Details:
- Melissa Carter reports live from Piedmont Park.
- Participants: This year features members of the ADDA Gay Tennis League and the always-formidable Yogi.
Banter and Humor:
-
On traditions:
- “It’s tradition now on the Bert show…This was strictly a dude thing, smear the queer. At the time, we didn’t realize how politically incorrect it was…” (36:36)
- “So this year he just took his sweatshirt off, and now he's got a T shirt on that says, yum, yum. Get you some. That is handwritten on the T shirt. He's got four pink lays around his neck…” (44:13)
-
Live Play-By-Play:
- Phil is given a five-second head start and is chased across the field, tackled repeatedly, and given birthday spankings.
- Melissa: “He lost his hat in the process, and now he's getting birthday spankings from all the guys.” (47:26)
- Phil: “This game is officially retired and dies.” (48:47)
-
Joyful Energy:
- Emphasis on community, inclusivity, and fun to kick off Pride Week in Atlanta.
- “Happy Pride!” (48:16)
Key Segment Timestamps:
- Event setup and history: (36:07–44:28)
- Live action begins: (44:41)
- Phil’s play-by-play and aftermath: (47:05–48:47)
Notable Quotes & Moments
On Parental Dilemmas:
- “You control what your child wears at school.” – Steve, Assistant Principal (07:34)
- “It's a security thing for him.” – Tara, Social Worker (09:13)
On Office Time-Wasting:
- “If you recently got arrested by Gwinnett county and you're going right now, you're praying. Please, Jeff, don't say my name.” (31:09)
On "Smear the Straight":
- “He lost his hat in the process, and now he's getting birthday spankings from all the guys.” – Melissa Carter (47:26)
- “Happy Pride!” (48:16)
Episode Themes and Takeaways
- Parenting: Navigating the balance between protecting your child from possible hurt and allowing self-expression, with differing views on the role of parents in guiding versus controlling these choices.
- Community & Fun: The show leans into inclusivity and humor, using annual traditions and shared laughter to create a welcoming, uplifting environment—topped by a vibrant celebration of Atlanta Pride.
- Everyday Escapism: A lighthearted look at the mundane (and mischievous) ways people break up workdays, highlighting the value of shared guilty pleasures.
For those who missed it: This episode blends real parenting struggles, playful listener confessions, and community celebration. It’s full of empathy, sharp wit, and the easy camaraderie The Bert Show is known for—another charming, authentic morning with Atlanta’s favorite radio crew!