The Bert Show [Vault]: Full Show PT 2 – Wednesday, December 10, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode delivers The Bert Show's signature blend of honest conversation, empathy, and sharp-witted humor. The show is divided into two primary segments:

• A deeply personal call from a listener, Mandy, exploring the emotional fallout of nearly having an affair at a work conference.
• A lively roundtable about "socially acceptable rudeness" that listeners face in everyday life, from remarks about diet to intrusive questions about pregnancy and relationships. The tone is candid, sometimes playful, and often direct, focusing on real-life dilemmas and social observations.

Segment 1: Mandy's Dilemma – The Near Affair (01:36–15:02)

1. Mandy’s Confession and Context (01:36–03:47)

• Mandy shares her story: married for 10 years with a child, she feels attracted to a co-worker at a conference and, after drinking, ends up talking to him for hours.
• Initial conversations are innocent, covering movies and work. However, under the influence, they talk about sex (03:38).
• Mandy apologizes the next day, still embarrassed, and receives reassurance from the coworker.

Mandy (03:38): “Well, we just got to talking about sex.” Jen (03:46): “But nothing happened physically?”

2. The Hotel Room Incident (04:05–06:14)

• At another party, after dancing together, Mandy accepts the coworker’s invitation to his hotel room. She is now sober and intentionally goes up.
• They kiss briefly before his roommate interrupts. Mandy stops things from escalating further, feeling unsettled by his persistence.

Mandy (05:02): “We just...we kissed for a little bit, and then his roommate came in, thank God. But he was really persistent about taking it further. It just was really bugging me.”

• The Bert Show crew challenges Mandy’s expectations about the encounter, explaining how her actions might be interpreted by the coworker.

Bird (05:24): “You know why that is, don’t you? Because he's a guy and you appeared to be easy.”

3. Aftermath and Mandy’s Emotional Struggle (06:14–09:16)

• The next day, the coworker is distant, which hurts Mandy’s feelings. She’s not considering telling her husband but wants an apology from the coworker for how things ended.
• The hosts express skepticism and push Mandy to reflect on her own choices and motivations.

Jen (07:13): “First of all, you’re married... your ego is so bruised and now you demand an apology from him when you shouldn’t have been doing anything that you did in the first place.”

• Mandy struggles with feelings of shame, regret, and a desire for closure, leading the hosts to analyze her reasoning and hold her accountable.

Bird (07:37): “So your question, being a new cheater, is: is there a rule of etiquette? Like, once this occurs, does he owe you an explanation or an apology?”

4. Audience and Crew Weigh In (09:36–12:33)

• The show takes calls from listeners, who are blunt in their criticism:
  • Liz: Mandy is “starving for attention. She’s pathetic.”
  • Todd: Mandy owes her husband an apology for emotional and physical infidelity.
• Jen and Jeff provide tough love, urging her to focus on her marriage rather than the coworker.

Jeff (12:00): “I don’t think that the co-worker... you should ever speak to him again. I think you drop him like a bad habit and you sit down and have a heart to heart with your husband.” Jen (12:32): “You’re putting too much importance on this man. It is feelings about your husband that is bothering you, not feelings about this guy.”

5. Resolution – Hard Truths and Advice (12:33–15:02)

• The consensus is clear: Mandy needs to address the issues in her marriage, not seek closure with the coworker. She is gently admonished to move on, be honest with her husband (if appropriate), and seek support.
• The segment wraps with a reflection on what constitutes cheating or an affair—whether emotional or physical—and whether Mandy’s actions rise to that level.

Jen (13:17): “Turn the tables. If your husband came to you and said, ‘Well, first of all, she kissed me, but I kissed her for about five minutes and I just need closure...’ I don’t think you would be very happy about that.” Jeff (14:38): “Is that adultery definition? Oh, absolutely, it’s adultery. But an affair to me is having feelings and emotions for a person in an ongoing relationship behind your partner’s back.”

Segment 2: Socially Acceptable Rudeness (17:51–24:36)

1. Diets and Lifestyle Shaming (17:51–18:30)

• Discussion opens with frustrations about people evangelizing extreme diets (e.g., low-carb, vegetarianism).
• Melissa talks about people pushing alcohol on her despite her medical issues—a microcosm of broader social pressure.

Melissa (18:30): "There are people that choose not to drink because they don't want to drink, and that should be okay...I think it's incredibly rude for people to associate drinking with how fun a person is and can be."

2. Pregnancy and Relationship Intrusions (19:01–21:48)

• Listeners call in about strangers touching pregnant women’s bellies and making unsolicited comments.
• Couples living together or married face endless questions: “When are you getting married?” “When are you having kids?”

Amanda (19:59): “Never fails...we sit down to eat dinner or we go out with friends, and they're like, ‘So when are you getting married?’” Sherry (21:01): "People constantly going, 'You gotta have a son. When are you gonna try for the boy?' Like it's a holy Grail or something."

• Jen points out the endless cycle of social pressure at every stage of life.

Jen (20:37): "If you're dating, they want you to get married. If you're married, they want you to have one kid. If you got one kid, they want you to have two..."

3. Body Comments and Double Standards (21:49–23:39)

• Callers highlight other rude comments: judging pregnant women’s weight, skinny-shaming, and gym rats commenting on people’s bodies.

Michelle (22:51): “It's absolutely not acceptable to make fun of someone...because they're overweight. But it's okay to say, 'Oh, you're just too skinny, you need to eat.'”

• The double standard about what’s considered “acceptable” to say cuts across weight and lifestyle.

4. Intrusive Personal Questions – Sexuality & Privacy (23:39–24:36)

• Phyllis calls out people who, upon learning she’s a lesbian, immediately ask intrusive questions about her sex life.

Phyllis (23:42): “But why is it when you tell somebody you’re a lesbian, they immediately think that it's okay to discuss your sex life?” Jen (23:56): “It's rude to ask anyone who is gay what they do in bed.”

• The segment closes with a comedic suggestion from Bird—handing out "gay brochures" to relieve curiosity.

Segment 3: The Phone Scam – "Fraud Department" Prank (24:46–30:08)

1. The Setup (24:46–26:00)

• Bird calls “Mary” with an elaborate ruse: pretending to be from her phone company’s fraud department, claiming her calls to an ex-boyfriend have raised flags.
• Bird further claims to have “listened to” her calls as part of the investigation.

2. Escalation and Reveal (26:00–30:08)

• The call turns increasingly invasive, with Bird referencing personal details and suggesting her family talks about her breakup.
• Mary grows panicked and angry, threatening legal action.
• Bird finally reveals it’s a prank for the show, much to Mary’s (and listeners’) relief.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bird (05:24): “Because he's a guy and you appeared to be easy.”
• Jen (07:13): “Why your ego is so bruised… when you shouldn’t have been doing anything that you did in the first place.”
• Liz, Caller (09:39): “This poor woman is absolutely starving for attention. She’s pathetic.”
• Jeff (12:00): “Drop him like a bad habit…sit down and have a heart to heart with your husband.”
• Amanda, Caller (19:59): “Never fails...they’re like, ‘So when are you getting married?’”
• Phyllis, Caller (23:42): “But why is it when you tell somebody you’re a lesbian, they immediately think that it's okay to discuss your sex life?”

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 01:36 – Mandy's Confession and Story
• 03:38 – Explicit Conversation at Conference
• 05:02 – Hotel Room Incident
• 06:14 – Emotional Fallout and the Desire for Closure
• 09:36 – Listener Feedback on Mandy's Dilemma
• 12:00 – Show's Advice: Fix the Marriage
• 13:17 – Turning the Tables: What If Husband Did This?
• 14:38 – What Counts as Cheating or Adultery?
• 17:51 – Socially Acceptable Rudeness (Diets, Drinking)
• 19:01 – Pregnancy/Relationship Prodding
• 21:49 – Body Comments and Gym Culture
• 23:39 – Intrusive Questions About Sexuality
• 24:46 – The Phone Scam Prank

Episode Tone & Dynamics

The Bert Show remains true to its reputation—funny and real, but not afraid to dig deep. Hosts and callers alike are blunt but often insightful, lending both entertainment and genuine wisdom to tricky personal and social situations. The use of humor, "tough love," and commiseration brings levity to serious topics, making the episode engaging and resonant even for first-time listeners.