Caller - Catherine (2:06)

That is part of it. Yeah.

Burt (2:07)

Are those the most hardcore in the.

Caller - Catherine (2:09)

Pretty much, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, and when you mentioned like no dancing in the fellowship hall and stuff like that, it's like they parents aren't exactly the hardcore Southern Baptist, but when it comes to the alcohol they're pretty strict on that.

Burt (2:25)

So it really is sort of a classic example of if you're under our roof, then you got to live by our rules type deal.

Caller - Catherine (2:30)

It's. It's that. And also, I know it's. I know it's a mixture of stuff. Like, I was talking to my dad, and I was like, what were you doing at my age? And he goes, that's exactly why I'm not letting you go out.

Melissa (2:43)

The answer you wanted.

Jen (2:44)

Yeah. Because, like, oh, I had fun and I was able to party, but you can't, which is.

Caller - Catherine (2:50)

And I said, oh, you're so fair. And, you know, alcoholism does run in my family. My mom grew up with an alcoholic father, and it was a bad, bad situation for her. So I can understand where, like, why they're coming from, where they're coming from. But I take it very personally because I feel like they're showing, like, they're telling me I'm irresponsible and that I'm going to go out and do something stupid or something.

Jen (3:15)

I do feel bad also, because you're the oldest, that they're putting so much pressure on you, because I do think that once your siblings get to that point, they're gonna lax a little bit.

Melissa (3:24)

They won't care.

Caller - Catherine (3:25)

Yeah, they always do. Yeah, my siblings can get away with murder right now. And I'm like, punish them.

Jen (3:31)

Yeah. I think they're. I think they're trying to treat this taking it more seriously than it should be.

Burt (3:36)

Is there a chance you could do, like, a don't tell, don't, don't ask, don't tell type deal? Like, you spend the night out for a couple of nights or a night or whatever, you go do what you want to do, and then you come home totally sober, and even though they sort of know what you did, it's unspoken and nobody gets hurt.

Caller - Catherine (3:53)

That's what I was kind of thinking about doing, is going out with a friend that, you know, they know and all that stuff and being like, yeah, I'm just gonna spend the night at her house, and we're gonna just hang out or we're gonna go out dancing. I mean, they don't really know what that means because they old.

Jim (4:08)

So what would be your perfect 21st birthday?

Caller - Catherine (4:14)

I don't know, like, just getting out. Because just being in Atlanta, just getting out, you know, I don't want to be, like, puking my guts out. That's no fun. But, you know, be able to go to the bar and, like, show my ID and be like, yeah, I'm 21. What now?

Melissa (4:29)

You want to go to the cheetah class on Saturday?

Caller - Catherine (4:33)

That would be fun. But you have to be 21 for that. Do you not?

Burt (4:35)

You do.

Melissa (4:36)

When's your birthday?

Caller - Catherine (4:38)

8808.

Jim (4:41)

It's your golden version.

Caller - Catherine (4:42)

So I want to. Yeah, that makes it even worse. It's like, I want to celebrate, like, it's a cool day, too.

Burt (4:48)

Have you, you have had drinks before?

Caller - Catherine (4:51)

Can I plead the fifth on that?

Burt (4:53)

Okay, so you have.

Melissa (4:57)

Have you been drunk before?

Jen (5:01)

Yes.

Caller - Catherine (5:01)

Fifth Amendment. Right again.

Burt (5:03)

We'll just go ahead and assume things here. Well, assume so the real. So what is your question? Like, how do you get around your parents that day?

Caller - Catherine (5:11)

Yeah, they're. They're just being so, like, it's. I was not even. Well, it's semi close to my birthday and they're already saying, well, you're not gonna go out. And I can't believe that you think you're gonna go out and get smashed and you're gonna do this and you're gonna do that.

Jen (5:25)

That's not fair. They're not being fair. I think that, you know, they're giving you a hard time because they, they're coming from a place of fear. Well, no, they're coming from a place of fear. And you're their first kid to reach 21. So again, I think it's harder on you. And I'm wondering whether it's the night of your birthday to go out or to kind of dodge them a little bit because I'm afraid that they're going to start making plans for you on your birthday.

Caller - Catherine (5:48)

I have a feeling that's what they're going to be doing. My dad's brother is already like, yeah, you're going to come to our house. And I'm like, oh, yay.

Jen (5:57)

So it might be a case where after your birthday you may just have to postpone it for a day or two and then spend the night with a friend.

Burt (6:03)

404-741-Q100 I wonder if they're not setting this hardcore rule down on you also to set an example for the rest of the family, younger siblings, totally what they're doing. Yeah. But there, here's why I like just going somewhere else. Then if they know, but they don't know, and your brother and sister don't see it and your parents don't see it, even though they know what was going on, I don't see how that hurts.

Jim (6:28)

Doesn't sound like they're gonna be that cool.

Caller - Catherine (6:29)

I was wondering if that's what I should do, just kind of not be around. But then, you know, they're still gonna know. They're still gonna give me a hard time. But I guess it's easier to put up with their mouths than.

Jim (6:40)

That'S a tough place to be because they do have some say. Cause you're still living with them.

Burt (6:45)

Hey, Therese. Good morning. You're on Q100.

Caller - Catherine (6:48)

Good morning. I just want to say to her, I'm 23 and I didn't really celebrate my 21st birthday the way I wanted to. And if I could, I would totally take it back in a heartbeat and celebrate it to the fullest. Because that's something you're just going to regret one day because you only turn 21 once. That's your one shot at, you know, just going crazy. But not like, you know, don't do anything stupid.

Caller - Nikki (7:10)

But you get to actually drink your.

Caller - Catherine (7:12)

Limit and you get to have fun. And if you have great friends who will watch you, it's just a great time. It's not something stupid.

Jen (7:20)

Well, I do think though, I mean, I. I have Southern Baptist friends.

Jim (7:24)

So.

Jen (7:24)

You talk about guilt trip. It is a guilt trip. Like you're going to be. They're going to talk to you. That's why I think they're going to plan something on your birthday. I think they are going to force it to where you don't get to do anything on your birthday like you want. But Jen brought up a great point about you still living with your parents. Now, you said you'll be out of there in a few months.

Caller - Catherine (7:41)

Right, but not by my birthday.

Jen (7:43)

Well, I understand that, but when are you going to be out?

Caller - Catherine (7:46)

Probably around September, October.

Melissa (7:49)

Do they know you're leaving yet?

Caller - Catherine (7:51)

Yeah, they know. I just got a job way, way across town and it's impossible for me to commute. It's about an hour and a half commute one way every day. So it's a really bad commute.

Jen (8:02)

And I understand the 21st birthday and that's your last chance to blow it out, but I do think that in the back of your mind there's a consolation. I think that once you move out, then you may be able to, you know, kind of have another, maybe another celebration. I know you're looking at it, but she's got a Southern Baptist family that she lives with. And I'm telling you, you gotta do.

Melissa (8:20)

It on your 21st.

Burt (8:21)

Yes. Even if it's not day, it's gotta be slow. It's like 48 hours, 72 hours.

Caller - Catherine (8:25)

Especially if it's straight eights too. I think that's so awesome.

Jen (8:29)

Well, it depends on if you're willing to lie to your parents, that's the, that's the thing right now. If you're willing to lie to your parents is the only way you're going to get away with it.

Burt (8:36)

I'm torn between thinking that I have to say the role modeling thing to do, and then the way I really want you to handle it.

Melissa (8:44)

You talk as the guy whose voice is burned out from drinking and partying.

Host (8:47)

It is.

Burt (8:48)

There are certain milestones in your life, you know, that you look back on fondly or not fondly, but it was that day, that experience, you know, and 21 is one of them.

Jim (8:57)

It definitely is.

Burt (8:58)

And good or bad your parents want to take that away from you. I don't know. I say just stay away from them for the day and do it the way you want.

Jim (9:05)

Well, if they plan a party for 8-808- you know, at midnight, 8 7, you're gonna turn 21.

Melissa (9:12)

So that's when you go out.

Jim (9:13)

Like, could you do anything that night before? So say your birthday falls on a Saturday, Just hypothetically. I don't know what day it falls on, but if you went with them to the party and then the night before the party, spend the night with your friend.

Caller - Catherine (9:26)

I didn't think about that.

Jim (9:28)

That's really good point right there.

Melissa (9:31)

Well done, Jen. Hobby.

Jim (9:32)

I do hungover on her birthday in partying.

Burt (9:35)

But the problem is if she feels.

Jen (9:36)

Like hungover on her birthday, she feels.

Burt (9:37)

Terrible on her birthday.

Melissa (9:38)

Then doesn't matter.

Jim (9:39)

It's only a couple hours because it'd be midnight till 2. So she can't hit the ground running too hard. Right.

Melissa (9:45)

Unless she's at a house party first. And then she goes and flashes the idea at midnight, but it doesn't matter.

Jim (9:48)

Well, you have to be careful.

Melissa (9:50)

Your hangover's an hour and 45 minutes long.

Jim (9:52)

That's true, that's true. Yeah. You have to be careful with how much you do. But I mean, at midnight that would sort of mark the day. It would, you know, do the whole clock strike midnight thing. Go walk up to the bartender, walk up to the police officer and be like, look at my ID. I'm really 21. Cause that was my favorite part was going up to the bouncers of the clubs. That wouldn't, you know, would never, you would never even try with a fake id. And going up to those and having them flash the flashlight on it and look at it, front, back, the other side, you're like, ha, that really is me.

Caller - Catherine (10:21)

Let me in.

Jen (10:22)

Well, and your parents will never Think about that. Like, if you spend the night with somebody the night before, they will never consider the fact that you're going out.

Melissa (10:30)

I gotta just be careful with that story. Because when we were in college, we went to visit a friend at a school in Albany on his 21st birthday, and his girlfriend thought it would be funny. So she left the bar, like, a half hour early and went to the next bar we were gonna be at at midnight and said, hey, I wanna let you know that my boyfriend's coming up. This is what his name is, and he's gonna have a real legal ID. Today's his 21st birthday. Confiscate it.

Ad Voice (10:54)

No.

Burt (10:54)

Oh, hey, Jack.

Melissa (10:56)

And the bouncer goes, okay, that'd be really funny. And she goes, okay, we'll be there in a half hour. Please don't forget, please don't forget, please don't forget. And the guy's like, no problem. So then she goes back to the party. We all think it's funny. Well, he goes on break or moves to the back door and relays the message to the next bouncer, but didn't completely understand it. And this bar was famous for having a paper shredder right by the front door.

Burt (11:18)

Checked it up.

Melissa (11:18)

So what the second bouncer heard was, hey, when Burt Weiss comes up, that's a fake id.

Jim (11:23)

Shredded. Oh, no. And it was his real ID on his whip.

Melissa (11:29)

And it was like a Friday night, so, you know, no new license until Monday morning.

Jim (11:34)

That sucks.

Jen (11:35)

Terrible.

Melissa (11:36)

Wouldn't let him in. Nothing.

Burt (11:37)

Hey, Allie, you're on Q100.

Melissa (11:39)

Have fun.

Caller - Catherine (11:40)

Hey.

Caller - Nikki (11:41)

I was calling to let the girl know that I think that she should just be honest with her parents.

Melissa (11:47)

No way.

Caller - Nikki (11:47)

And no.

Caller - Catherine (11:49)

Well, I was in the same situation.

Caller - Nikki (11:50)

When I turned 21, and my parents. You know, I grew up with alcoholism, right? In my family, my parents are really against drinking. My dad's actually a rehab counselor, so he's very adamantly against drinking. And honestly, I just told them, you know, I'm not going to bring alcohol into your house. I'm not going to be disrespectful of you. And I just think that it went over way better than if I would have lied to them about it, because it would have been a lie that would have had to go on for years because they never would have changed and I would have had to continue to lie.

Burt (12:18)

Little white lie.

Jen (12:20)

Well, I just think that. I think, yeah, I think when you have conservative parents and you're the oldest and you're the one, they're going to cut their Teeth on. When it comes to discipline, I just don't know if you. I don't know.

Burt (12:30)

I personally, I think I would take the. The few days afterwards and start partying rather than the day before because it's all. It will always be on her mind that night, even come midnight. She knows she can't really let loose because she's gonna see her parents in a couple of hours, whereas she waits a couple of days and she can really have.

Jim (12:47)

But it's not on her birthday. That's the cool part about turning 21, is it's on your birthday.

Burt (12:53)

That's true. Hey, Nikki, you're on Q100. You'll be the last call. What's up?

Caller - Nikki (12:56)

Hi. Morning. Just a few comments. I'm a mother of a 21 year old and he compromised that position way before his 21st birthday. She's already pled the fifth, so therefore she's already have two. I would not compromise the respect that she has for her parents. You know, enlighten them, go out with them on your birthday, plan it the weekend before, plan it the weekend after, but don't compromise the respect.

Jen (13:23)

Well, it can't be the weekend before because she won't be 21.

Caller - Nikki (13:26)

Well, I mean, don't.

Jen (13:27)

Don't you think as a parent though.

Caller - Nikki (13:29)

21 in the past? Neither.

Jen (13:30)

Well, don't you think as a parent though, a 21 year old is an adult?

Caller - Nikki (13:34)

Oh, definitely, Definitely. I wish mine actually was 18 of an adult, but, you know, sometimes it takes longer. But I just think that, you know, don't enlighten them, don't go the weekend after then, you know, I don't know.

Jen (13:49)

I don't know if enlightening them is the proper word. I think she's just saying giving in to them.

Burt (13:53)

She says it's more respectful if you don't that day just because your parents said you shouldn't.

Jen (13:58)

I know, but a 21 year old, I just, I really think that some parents need to, you know, lighten up. I do.

Burt (14:03)

I think we need your help on this.

Host (14:06)

My mom actually went out with me.

Jen (14:08)

On my 21st birthday.

Burt (14:09)

There's an option.

Melissa (14:10)

I was there in vision.

Jen (14:12)

Yes.

Melissa (14:12)

And I remember walking in and because I was working that night and it was like, hey, it's Wendy's 21st birthday. I'm like, happy birthday, Wendy.

Burt (14:19)

Oh, is that the night you woke up with me Mom? You hooked up. I remember you coming and telling the story.

Melissa (14:23)

I'm in love with Wendy's mom.

Burt (14:26)

So, Captain, we gave you a couple of different things. You can chew on there.

Caller - Catherine (14:29)

All right. I appreciate it.

Jim (14:30)

Good luck.

Jen (14:30)

Good luck. Happy birthday.

Caller - Catherine (14:32)

Thanks.

Burt (14:33)

What do you think you're gonna do?

Caller - Catherine (14:36)

I don't know. I'm probably gonna have to spend a night with a friend.

Melissa (14:41)

Hold on.

Burt (14:41)

Let me just take one more quick call. Mindy, go ahead. You're on Q100.

Caller - Catherine (14:45)

Hey, guys. Good morning.

Burt (14:46)

Good morning.

Caller - Catherine (14:47)

I just wanted to tell her that I'm the mother of five daughters. I have three adult daughters who did a lot of stuff that I never found out about until later. And you only have one chance to celebrate your 21st birthday, and I think you should just go out and do it. Your mom and your dad are going to love you no matter what.

Burt (15:05)

The Birch show.

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Burt (16:11)

Melissa pointed out an email or an article to me yesterday that hit close to home because me and intern Carl were talking about this very thing just a couple weeks ago.

Jen (16:21)

Yeah, I mean, it's an article about how weak. We'll just say how weak our children have become because it's almost like we're coddling. We're too protective. We don't want our children to, you know, experience anything.

Jim (16:32)

Too bad.

Jen (16:33)

It's to the point sometimes where we don't want them to experience competition because we don't want somebody to feel bad if they win or lose. So it's a whole article about just how weak our kids are getting and how weak our young songs are getting.

Burt (16:43)

It's probably the single biggest argument or the most argument that my wife and I have most often with our five year old Hayden is me feeling like she's babying him and she thinking that I come down too hard on him or I push him too hard. Intern Carl going through the same thing.

Intern Carl (17:04)

Yeah, I go through the same thing. I have a five year old boy too and I also have two girls, so it's three women in the house. My wife spends a lot of time with my son because I'm always at work or whatnot and so I'm always going through that. She's doing real good. It's took a long, she's come a long way. But when he was first born, it's just a, it's always a power struggle.

Burt (17:26)

It's a tough world out there and I don't know what the compromise is, but it's tough, you know, And I think we're raising this kid and I think Hayden is a really sensitive kid and I want him to have that, but I also want him to be able to turn on a switch if he needs to, to stick up for himself. And I'm just not seeing. And the bottom line is he gets to spend a hell of a lot more time with Stacy during the day because she stays home with the kids than I do. So he's got more hint of her influence and we just can't see eye to eye on it, man. And I don't know what the compromise is.

Intern Carl (17:58)

Hey, we need to have a vent, me and you, bro. We need to have a vent now we just need to vent, man. Because my kid's the exact same way now. He takes after his mom, which is she's real, she's a sensitive lady and my son is like that. So I'm just always at him, you know. Cause like you said, man, it's a crude, cold world out here and you know, you just want to make sure your son is ready to handle all the ignorance that Don Mommy has put to us.

Jim (18:21)

Well, I want to be able to ask you about the difference between your son and your daughter because I think you'd have to prepare all of them and I know it's more acceptable for a girl, you know, for, you know, we gotta teach our boys to be strong, but I think you gotta teach all of them to be strong. But as a non parent, can you give us a specific example of what you're taught?

Burt (18:43)

You mean where we struggle on him being selfish?

Jim (18:46)

Yeah, I thought the argument would be over.

Burt (18:47)

Okay. Well, one is how to handle when other kids are like pushing Hayden around.

Jim (18:52)

So he's on the playground.

Burt (18:53)

He's on the playground. Somebody's taking his stuff or whatever. I have tried to teach him that. You warn the kid that, look, if you push me, I'm gonna push you back. If you take my stuff, you can't take my stuff. Where Stacy is. Avoid a fight at all costs.

Jim (19:09)

Let it go.

Burt (19:10)

Let it go. That would be one thing. Even in smaller things also, like the way that he competes. Like, we had this talk a couple of weeks ago. I want to teach Hayden how to be a good loser. Sometimes I let him win, sometimes he's got to lose. She believes he's got to win all the time. You got to build his confidence. And I'm like, no, sir, that's right.

Intern Carl (19:30)

Not going to win every time, buddy.

Jim (19:32)

Right.

Jen (19:32)

Well, and I agree with Jim because, well, I think that there's an idea that all women feel that way, which I don't think all women feel that way, you know, about how they all want their sons to be sins or whatever. I do think that you have to prepare men and women for the world because women are competing, women are playing sports. Women need to know how to win and lose. And women also know. Need to know too, because girls pick fights too. And women need to be able to say, I'm gonna kick your butt if you. If you touch me one more time.

Burt (19:58)

Let me give you another great example. Here's another great example. So I'm trying to teach him now. If he wants something really badly, he's got to start doing chores for it. I mean, he's five and a half years old now. So it's. Now it's time. So he wanted this speed racer steering wheel that makes all sorts of like screechy brake noise sounds if you move it to the left. And you can hear it accelerate if you move it to the right. And he was stoked about it. He's been watching Disney. They force feed that he had to have it. He had to have it, Dad, I gotta have it. So I'm like, okay, if you really want this, here is a list of five things that you can do around the house. Or let's put together a list of five things that you can do in order to earn that right. So I leave the house and I come back and one of the chores that he had written on his list is help mommy shop. Man, what kind of chore is that? Help mommy shop. So mommy went shopping and Hayden, like held the bag or something like that, and they went store to store. And I'm like, no, it's about Picking up the trash. It's about, you know, cleaning his toys.

Jim (20:55)

Putting his room back together.

Intern Carl (20:57)

You know what? I got one, too.

Jim (20:59)

So you think she's just too soft on him?

Burt (21:01)

All way too soft.

Intern Carl (21:02)

And that's exactly. That's a real good example, because.

Burt (21:07)

Help mommy shop, my son, man.

Intern Carl (21:09)

Like my wife, she. She combs her hair in the morning, gets them all together for the most part because I'm out real early. I came to the house, my son one day, said, daddy, are you going to do my hair? I said, do your hair? You mean like a hairdo? Do your hair? That's. That's the term my wife uses. Come here. Priya. That's my daughter's name. Let me do your hair. I said, no, buddy, you don't use that term. You let me. You kind of comb your hair, brush your hair or pick your hair. You don't do your hair. You know, just certain things. And the thing is, the thing is, dad, we have our ears up on these type of things, you know, like my wife, she had no idea. Oh, I didn't know.

Jim (21:43)

Do.

Intern Carl (21:43)

I didn't know. Just like Jen and Melissa looking at me crazy. As far as.

Burt (21:47)

What difference does it make if he does his hair?

Jim (21:50)

I don't know he's going to do his hair.

Intern Carl (21:51)

I just think that we just have our ears up more so for.

Jim (21:54)

For, you know, just two feminine things.

Intern Carl (21:57)

Exactly.

Burt (21:57)

It's not even feminine things to me. It's just things to make him more firm.

Jen (22:02)

Well, yeah. I think the thing that bothers me is more so than that, you know, semantics is just the whole idea of the winning, losing thing and that the discipline and not taking responsibility for actions and not being able to stand up for yourself there. I don't think there's anything worse than. And I do think that stereotypically it's guys, but I think it's girls, too. I mean, I'm not a big fan of weak women, you know, as well as weak men. But if you can't stand up for yourself in a fight and as a kid and, And a lot of people don't feel, you know, fighting is wrong, whatever. But you know what? You get into scuffles. And if, you know, because in our house, it was, don't start the fight, but you always finish that fight. And it was girl or boy, we had to do that.

Jim (22:39)

And there's so much.

Burt (22:40)

And one of the things I think.

Jim (22:41)

And stuff now, I mean, you hear about it all the time that kids are so mean. I mean, we were mean in middle school. But I think that they're even more mean now.

Burt (22:48)

It also. And this is probably unique to young boys also, but I'm a little sensitive to. He's a small kid. I mean, I'm 5 4. His mom is 5 1. He's never gonna be a tall kid.

Host (22:59)

And.

Burt (22:59)

And you could start to see it now in his class how much smaller he is. And it is tough for smaller kids. They get picked on first. It's just like survival of the fitness, you know? And if you're a good athlete, that's sort of the great equalizer. And in looking at my kid right now, that's not his strong point. So I'm trying to teach him that there are going to be times where kids are going to pick on you just because you're the smallest and there's something that you got to do about it. And his mom is like, let's negotiate. Let's have an embargo. Embargoes don't work.

Jim (23:29)

Let's sit down and have a talk about it.

Burt (23:31)

Good morning, John, you're on Q100 yellow. John, good morning. Crystal, you're on Q100.

Caller - Catherine (23:41)

Hi, good morning.

Caller - Nikki (23:42)

Burt Show.

Melissa (23:43)

Good morning.

Caller - Catherine (23:44)

I'm actually. I was a single mom for five years, and I had two boys. They were 1 and 3 when I got divorced. And I just got remarried last October, and they're 6 and 8. And I had to be so overly sensitive about. I didn't want my kids to be mommied. Like, I wanted them to be strong and be boys and be able to go out there and not have a mom that babied them and everything else. But my younger son, who's 6, is one of those really sensitive types. And I had to teach him that, you know, he would not stand up for himself on the playground or anything else. And it got to the point where it was like, once I explained to him that he needed to stand up for other people. That's what worked for him. Like, he was very, very good about, you know. Now if you see somebody else getting picked on because he is that sensitive kid, then he'll want. Then he'll totally stand up for them and be aggressive and everything like that, because to him, it was a pause.

Jen (24:43)

I think you bring up a great point, because I do think for dads, too, you have to know what you're working with, because I don't think that a sensitive man is a sensitive man just because he's around his mom a lot. I think some men just genetically or whatever are sensitive types. And I think for some fathers, you can do some damage by being too hard. Like there's a. I mean, and it's gotta be tough for dads. Cause there's a delicate balance of not being hard enough and then being too hard. And I think what, you know, she knew what she was. She had a child and she recognized she had to work differently with that particular child. You know, it may not work with every kid to say you have to stand up for other people, but for hers it did. So I do think for some dads, you are too tough without the women having nothing to do with it, you know?

Intern Carl (25:27)

Yeah, I totally agree with that. Because just knowing you really have to get to know your. Your son if you're gonna be that type of dad, because it's definitely a balance. And like. And for what you said, my daughters, they're not the sensitive type. My daughters, you know, they. If you take something from them, they may swing on you. You know, they're not that tight.

Burt (25:43)

You know, they're cut you arms.

Intern Carl (25:45)

Oh, yeah, they're just not having it. But my. So he's a little bit more, you know, more easygoing. And so, you know, he's just more sensitive. So that's why I'm just at him all the time.

Burt (25:54)

Good morning, Sharona, you're on Q100.

Caller - Sharona (25:56)

Good morning.

Jen (25:57)

Hey.

Caller - Sharona (25:58)

Hi. I am a single mom as well, and I just wanted to tell you a story that happened at an indoor playground. I'm not going to name the restaurant, but my child came running to me and he. He was. He's a boy and he's, I think three at the time. And he said, mommy, you know, some little boys not letting me up the stairs. He was, you know, complaining. You know, it's hard for me as well, being a single mom. And I don't have a male influence. His dad is not involved in the picture at all. And so I said, well, what you do is you go up to him and you just tell him to get out of your way. And he said, well, he's, you know, really, really big boy. So I went and I watched and he started walking up the stairs. And I said, go ahead, tell him. And he. He looked at him and the kid looked at him and kind of shoved him. And I just stood there, I didn't say a word. And I just watched my son. I was like there for the muscle. I was a backup, you know. And my child said. He said, get out of my way now. And the little boy was so taken aback, he just, he got out of the way. And my son shoved past him and went walking on up.

Burt (27:01)

It's like your proudest moment right now.

Caller - Sharona (27:05)

He says, I don't, I don't mind main bullies. He said, mommy, he said, if they hit me one time, I'm gonna hit him back.

Burt (27:10)

Okay?

Jen (27:11)

Yeah. And I think it was probably smart for her to stand back instead of being the mom and rushing up to.

Jim (27:15)

Him, because I think the result of over momm is hard to reverse. You know, I mean, there are a lot of kids that are over mommy and they're like not potty trained for super, super long times. And they, I don't know, I just think that there's like, there's really long term effects of that. You know, kids not being able to spend the night at a friend's house by the time they're in the fourth grade because they've never been away from mom and dad or. You know what I'm saying? So it like the over mommying early is gonna have. Or over parenting, I guess I should say. But it does seem to have a tendency to be more the moms. But I'm sure there are dads that do it too. Just got longer term effects. I mean, I remember being a kid and having people that couldn't come for sleepovers or whatever because they had to be at home with their mom.

Jen (27:58)

Well, I mean, that has effects as adults. You can tell people, I mean, we talk about mama's boys all the time, but you can tell people who were overly mothered as adults because there's still that dependency on something. And then sometimes they translate it from their mom to you.

Burt (28:13)

This article that Melissa sent me yesterday was from an author of a woman that wrote a book. And her research was done because she had kids that were in college and she noticed all these college kids couldn't cope with what was going on in school. And she started doing research on exactly why. And it turned out that most of the kids that were dropping out were raised by these helicopter parents that were always on top of them and always just sort of like making sure everything was okay, making sure they were in a league where there were no winners and no losers and the playing field was even for everybody. The kids got out in the real world world. They were at two semesters at Tennessee and they couldn't handle it anymore.

Jen (28:53)

And she, you know, one of the things they also talk about are just like scrapes and bruises. Like a kid that's growing up with no cuts, no broken arms, no anything. Are these, these adults that just are unable to handle situations like birth said. And it is. I mean, you gotta let them get cut. You gotta let him have a scab, you gotta let him have a scar, you gotta let him have a broken arm.

Jim (29:11)

You got. I mean, and it's like the reactions to those things too, because I have lots of friends that are young parents or whatever, and some of them will, you know, run over and, oh, my gosh, she just fell and take care of her, whatever. Other ones are just like, clap. And they're like, good job.

Burt (29:25)

Yay. You know, the most stressed out you'll ever be as a parent is watching your kid on a playground, right? Because it's so damn dangerous. But you got to let them fall off the monkey bars. You got to let them fall off those things. And you could see it happening before it happens. Oh, yeah, go ahead, take your lumps, boy. But here it comes.

Jim (29:42)

Some of my friends, when their kids fall down, they go, safe.

Ad Voice (29:47)

The bird show.