The Bert Show: Full Show PT 3 – February 6, 2026 [Vault Episode]

Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & others)
Date: February 6, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show delivers the signature mix of personal anecdotes, relatable debates, and candid listener calls. The main themes revolve around family party etiquette (specifically kids’ birthday parties), wedding cold feet and social expectations, and an open, expert-led conversation on “sex-starved marriages.” The hosts engage with listeners and each other in a humorous, heartfelt, and honest tone, exploring the awkward nuance of life’s milestones and relationships.

Key Discussion Points and Segment Highlights

1. The One-Year-Old's Birthday Blowout & Etiquette Dilemma

(00:00–11:02)

• Bert’s Reluctance: Bert recounts arguing with his wife Stacy about throwing elaborate parties for young kids, recalling, “No guy wants to do that. Please don’t put my friends through that.” [00:14]
• The Party Plans: Despite his skepticism, Bert finds himself co-hosting a massive first birthday party for his son Hollis, complete with a pool, moonwalks, and hired entertainment, joining houses with his neighbor.
  “It is encompassing two homes together. … She’s bringing in the whole deal.” [01:39]
• Listener and Co-host Views:
  • Cassie jokes about the slippery slope: “What about, like, sixteen? When they each get their brand new Range Rover Hummer?” [03:30]
  • Bert recognizes the event’s importance to Stacy and aims to be supportive, stressing that sometimes “my reasons of being uncomfortable…are inconsequential.” [02:24]
• Invitation Etiquette:
  • Bert asks for advice about inviting friends—especially those without kids—to such events, not wanting guests to feel obligated or excluded.
  • Cassie shares a humorous anecdote: “If you don’t want to attend, increase your gift price range by 20 bucks and we’ll forgive you…afterwards, I’m going out for beer and stronger drinks…” [04:44]
• Listener Calls:
  • Amanda and Chandra discuss how parent-friend etiquette often means sending invites but not expecting everyone to come.
  • Angela, an entertainment professional, thanks Bert for “keeping us in business” with over-the-top parties and reveals children’s birthday parties can cost from $1,100 up to $10,000. [10:10-10:58]

Notable Quotes:

• “I just should have shut up, you know...” – Bert [00:23]
• “If Hayden had it, she wants her second son to have the same thing.” – Kristin [02:58]
• “Parents like you keep us in business.” – Angela (caller, party professional) [09:58]

2. Cold Feet Before a Wedding – When Anxiety Means More

(11:02–21:46)

• Is it Cold Feet or a Red Flag?: The hosts discuss the fine line between “cold feet” and genuine doubts about marriage.
• In-Call Counseling with Brenda (voice disguised):
  • Brenda, whose wedding is the next day, confides she’s questioning the marriage: “I really don’t think he’s the right guy for me…just little things…” [13:43]
  • The panel discusses the social stigma of canceling a wedding last-minute vs. divorcing a short time later.
  • Listeners call in with real-life experiences—Karen regrets not listening to her doubts, having “little question marks” for months leading up to her wedding and now facing divorce. [16:49]
  • Another caller, Sarah, relays how supportive family is ideal: “Every single person in my family … told me before my wedding, if I didn’t want to get married, then I didn’t have to.” [18:08]
• Advice and Empathy: The group encourages Brenda to prioritize long-term happiness over short-term embarrassment.
  • “You’re talking about the rest of your life here.” – Bert [19:17]
  • “It’s much better to do it before the ceremony.” – Kristin [15:37]

3. Sex-Starved Marriages – Open Phones with Expert Michelle Weiner Davis

(21:52–40:47)

Introduction to the Topic

• The discussion is anchored by author and marital therapist Michelle Weiner Davis.
• Statistic: Marriages with sex fewer than 12 times a year are considered “sex-starved;” “one in five marriages” falls into this category. [22:13]

Key Issues Discussed

• Is It All About Kids?
  • “It does not matter…low sexual desire in either spouse can hit a marriage at any point in their life.” – Michelle Weiner Davis [22:59]
  • Scheduling sex can feel unromantic, but “planned spontaneity” ensures intimacy continues. [24:53]
• Listener Calls:
  • Caller #1 (Sarah): “My husband wants it every day and I could live without it. … Is there a medication or something?” [25:46]
    • Michelle: Women sometimes aren’t familiar with their own bodies or may have unresolved issues; suggests self-exploration, communication, and, if necessary, therapy. “Just do it…the Nike philosophy,” she quips, as sometimes arousal follows action. [28:47]
  • Caller #2 (Carrie, voice disguised): Female caller older than her husband; “haven’t had sex in over a year…married in October…still haven’t consummated our marriage.” [29:48]
    • Michelle: Reminds listeners this dynamic isn’t uncommon and urges direct conversation, possibly ultimatums, and seeking professional help. “You need to tell him that he either has to go to a doctor or to a therapist with you or you're out the door.” [33:37]
  • Caller #3 (Pam, late 20s): Married less than a year, has to initiate, faces regular rejection, ready for divorce. [34:46]
    • Michelle: Suggests “give him an ultimatum,” recommends her book and website, notes that action can be more powerful than words to spark change in some marriages.
      “You need to start not being quite so dependable and predictable.” [38:25]

Notable Quotes:

• “So many times a person with low desire thinks, what is the big deal? It's just sex. When in fact, it's much more than that. … It's really about feeling close and feeling important.” – Michelle Weiner Davis [38:08]
• “You’re just like a doormat, and very often when women get through to men through action rather than words, men start to wonder, ‘What is she feeling?’” – Michelle Weiner Davis [38:25]
• “Just have me on. I’ll be your regular and I’ll fix those sex marriages.” – Michelle Weiner Davis [40:27]

Notable Moments & Quotes by Timestamp

• On Parties:
  • “She's bringing in the whole deal for a one year old.” – Bert [01:56]
  • “It was a letter…‘If you don’t want to attend, increase your gift price range by 20 bucks and we’ll forgive you.’” – Cassie [04:44]
• On Pre-Wedding Doubts:
  • “I really don't think he's the right guy for me. Just little things…” – Brenda [13:43]
  • “Little question marks in my head. That's how it felt for a while.” – Karen (Caller) [17:47]
  • “You’re talking about the rest of your life here.” – Bert [19:17]
• On Sex-Starved Marriages:
  • “Low sexual desire in either spouse can hit a marriage at any point in their life…” – Michelle Weiner Davis [22:59]
  • “I could live without it…Please hurry up.” – Female caller [26:59]
  • “We got married in October and still haven’t consummated our marriage.” – Carrie [30:07]
  • “Just do it…the Nike philosophy.” – Michelle Weiner Davis [28:47]

Timestamps of Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------|---------------| | 1st Birthday Party Dilemma | 00:00–11:02 | | Cold Feet Before a Wedding | 11:02–21:46 | | Sex-Starved Marriages w/ Michelle Weiner Davis| 21:52–40:47 |

Tone and Style

The show’s tone is witty, light, and self-aware, balancing comedic banter with genuine empathy during listener calls. The cast’s authenticity and relatability shine especially when they tackle sensitive or awkward topics with both humor and heartfelt honesty.

Useful Takeaways

• It’s okay to throw big parties if it makes your partner happy—but don’t guilt your friends into coming.
• Feeling “cold feet” before a wedding is common, but persistent doubts signal something deeper; trust your gut.
• Sexual desire gaps are common and gender-neutral; open, honest communication—and sometimes taking action beyond words—is key to resolution.
• Stigma from societal expectations (parties, weddings, marriages) shouldn’t override personal boundaries or happiness.

For more resources on relationship concerns, visit divorcebusting.com (the guest expert’s website).

This summary covers all central discussions and notable interactions, skipping ads and intros/outros.