Full Show PT 3: Friday, March 13 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show — Full Show PT 3: Friday, March 13 [Vault]

Date: March 13, 2026
Featuring: Bert (Host), Melissa, Jeff, Jessica, Gina, Chris, Jennifer, and callers

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of The Bert Show dives into the hilarious world of “As Seen on TV” products and infomercials, with the cast sharing their own experiences (both triumphs and disasters) with these infamous impulse buys. The conversation flows into aggressive retail upselling tactics, awkward sales encounters, and a segment on “motivation by humiliation” where resolving to lose weight is given a public twist. Comedic anecdotes, listener calls, and candid confessions keep the laughs rolling while reflecting on relatable everyday struggles.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Infomercials & “As Seen on TV” Product Confessions

[00:31–11:36]

• Snuggie Commercial & Reactions

  • The show opens with a dramatic reading of the iconic Snuggie commercial, immediately sparking laughter and nostalgia.
    • "I love ‘As Seen on TV’ store because that is the one." — Melissa [02:05]
  • Listeners and cast recall their own Snuggie experiences, including failed attempts to find them due to popularity.

• Product Fails & Wins

  • Laundry Folder: Melissa bought the shirt-folder after seeing a commercial but found using it more hassle than folding by hand. [02:08–02:54]
  • Language Learning: Host discusses skepticism over “learn Spanish in one hour” infomercials, with the group agreeing Rosetta Stone is reputable but expensive.
  • Pet Egg (Foot Manicure Tool):
    • Gina, a caller, swears by it: "I absolutely love it. It worked." [06:18]
    • Jessica recalls a White Elephant party etiquette disaster with the Pet Egg: "She scraped it on her foot… then announced that it works really well and gave it back to the rightful owner." [07:13] (cue group disgust)
  • Ove Glove: Multiple cast members vouch for its effectiveness as an oven mitt with fingers. [06:41–06:51]
  • Shark Super Steamer: Caller Kai slams it as a “big fraud”—not efficient, difficult to use.
    • "That thing sucks. You have to get so up on it… more time than with a toothbrush." — Gina [07:47]
  • Abs Belt: Melissa bought the “vibrating ab belt” and calls it a waste: "You're just pretty much getting yourself hot for no reason." [08:33]
  • Aqua Globes: Chris, an enthusiastic caller, rates them as legitimately helpful for plant watering: "The Aqua Globe's awesome. The Ped Egg's awesome. The Snuggie...sleeves are so huge." [09:43]
  • Chia Pet: Discussed as a perennial temptation—mostly for gag gifts.
  • Miracle Tanning Cream: Hilarious tale of a caller’s dad turning himself purple before a vacation: "He applies the tanning cream all over his body, and instead it turned him purple." — Chris [10:42]
  • Quick-fire opinions on other products: George Foreman Grill = divided. Oreck vacuum = “sucks.” Slider maker = “absolutely sucks.” [11:20–11:24]

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2. Retail Upselling & Pushy Sales Experiences

[11:53–20:03]

• Melissa's Books-A-Million Aberration

  • Tells a story about enduring a relentless membership sales pitch while buying an audiobook, despite saying no multiple times. She humorously describes the encounter as a duel: "There was a pause there for, you know... sweat beading on our foreheads and twitchy fingers on what we were gonna do." [14:31]
  • Final straw was being offered unwanted magazine subscriptions in addition.

• Aggressive Sales Linked to the Economy

  • Host connects the rise in intense sales tactics to poor economic conditions and commission-based pressure for employees.
    • "I think this has everything to do with the economy." — Host [15:06]
    • "I've had a guy say... 'What, you don't like saving money?'" — Host [15:19]
  • Jessica and Melissa agree this is a common annoyance across retail and phone sales.

• Callers Confirm Retail Realities

  • Gina: Former Books-A-Million manager confirms sales quotas on cards/magazines—failure risks termination.
    • "They have to do a certain percentage. And if they don't, they will get fired." — Gina [16:15]
    • Melissa responds: "I'll go to Barnes and Nobles or Borders before Books-A-Million now." [16:42]
  • Nikita: AutoZone employee explains “checkout challenge” and pressure to upsell regardless of purchase amount.
    • "We have what we call checkout challenge. ... If we don't sell enough during the period, then they threaten our job." — Gina [19:32]
  • The cast sympathizes with employees, blaming corporate rather than front-line staff.

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3. Motivation by Humiliation — The Bikini Weight Loss Challenge

[20:10–25:55]

• Concept Introduction

  • Jennifer, a listener, volunteers for “motivation by humiliation”: she’ll have before photos taken in a bikini, with the threat that if she doesn’t lose 30 pounds by July 1st, the pictures will go public.

• Relatable Body Image Moments

  • The group shares moments when they've realized they need to lose weight, highlighting the vulnerability and humor in such wake-up calls.
    • "You guys ever had...one defining moment...it's either a picture or you can't get into a chair..." — Host [22:08]
    • "Or when the stomach hangs over the jeans..." — Jennifer [22:22]
    • "When I couldn't fit into my high school cheerleading uniform anymore..." — Jessica [22:36]

• Jennifer's Motivation & Plan

  • Planning to lose weight for her fall wedding: "I'm getting married in Mexico, so I don't want to look like a little beached..." — Jennifer [21:44]
  • Committed to losing weight: "Because I'm going to lose it. That's right. It's not even going to be an issue." — Jennifer [26:18]
  • Honest self-assessment: admits to never really sticking with diets before, but hopes the humiliation angle will work.
  • Host raises the stakes, joking if she fails, her bikini pictures could be put on a billboard near her house.

• Group Support & Humor

  • Melissa, Jeff, and the team encourage Jennifer, emphasizing accountability while poking fun.
    • "We're sweet now, but Dan will be mean in July, painted on the side of your house." — Jessica [26:04]
    • "Here's why: If you don't reach your 30 pound goal, the pictures...are going up on our website..." — Host [26:01]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You're just pretty much getting yourself hot for no reason.” — Melissa, on ab-belts [08:33]
• "There was a pause there for, you know... sweat beading on our foreheads and twitchy fingers on what we were gonna do." — Melissa, describing her Books-A-Million sales standoff [14:31]
• "Like, what part of no are you not picking up on here, the N or the O?" — Host [18:01]
• "If I say no, let it go." — Jessica, proposing a retail customer slogan [18:46]
• "When I couldn't fit into my high school cheerleading uniform anymore..." — Jessica [22:36]
• "Because I'm going to lose it. That's right. It's not even going to be an issue." — Jennifer, on the weight loss challenge [26:18]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Infomercial Product Talk & Listener Reviews: [00:31–11:36]
• Snuggie, Chia Pet, Pet Egg, and other product deep-dives: [01:20–11:01]
• Aggressive Retail Sales Experiences: [11:53–20:03]
• Books-A-Million Story and Call-ins on Retail Pressure: [12:05–19:50]
• Motivation by Humiliation — Bikini Photos Weight Loss Challenge: [20:10–26:26]

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Tone and Style

True to The Bert Show’s "real and funny" billing, the tone throughout is self-deprecating, lightly sarcastic, and welcomingly candid. The cast pokes fun at themselves and each other, keeps the mood upbeat, and encourages listener engagement both on-air and off.

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Summary

This episode is a laugh-packed, highly relatable trip down the rabbit hole of As Seen on TV products—celebrating the best, roasting the worst, and commiserating over marketing letdowns. The second half offers a frontline perspective on retail up-selling, with both empathy for overworked clerks and no-nonsense advice for customers. It finishes with the launch of a bold "motivation by humiliation" weight loss challenge for a listener, complete with public accountability and trademark Bert Show wit. If you've ever bought (or mocked) a ridiculous product, dodged a store credit card pitch, or struggled to keep a resolution, you’ll find yourself in this episode.

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Transcript

[Melissa]

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[Jeff]

Help is always ready before, during and after your stay.

[Melissa]

We've planned for the plot twists so

[Jeff]

support is always available because a great trip start starts with Peace of Mind

[Host]

the Bird Show Here is the commercial I think you were talking about here Melissa. The Snuggie commercial.

[Snuggie Commercial Narrator]

You want to keep warm when you're feeling chilled, but you don't want to raise your heating bill. Blankets are okay, but they can slip and slide and when you need to reach for something, your hands are trapped inside.

[Melissa]

I know.

[Snuggie Commercial Narrator]

Now there's the Snuggie, the blanket that has sleeves. The Snuggie keeps you totally warm and gives you the freedom to use your hands. So now you can hold the remote or read a book in touch. Total warmth and comfort. Use your laptop without being cold or enjoy a snack while staying snuggly warm. Snuggie is made of ultra soft, thick, luxurious fleece with oversized sleeves so you can move your arms and use your hands and still be wrapped in warm. Super large one size fits all so you can stay warm from head to

[Jessica]

toe even if you are obese.

[Snuggie Commercial Narrator]

And with Snuggie you can get up and still stay warm.

[Host]

You know Jeff mentioned this that this is the time of year where you start seeing all these infomercials and they were bombarding you with a couple of weeks ago right before Christmas, right? So it seems like we do this at least once a year where we ask you guys if you bought into the infomercial and you bought one of these products, give us a call right now and let us know. Did it meet the hype of the commercial or does it just totally suck? Like it was a total waste of time because all the commercials, they all make these products look like they are so state of the art. And they do what commercials do, they sell them. Then you get them to your house and they absolutely suck half the time. So which ones did you guys buy and give us a review. 404-741-Q100 I love as seen on TV

[Melissa]

store because that is the one.

[Jeff]

There is a full store of it, right?

[Melissa]

Oh absolutely, because it wasn't this year but a couple years ago. Do you remember the commercial for the it'll help you fold your laundry thing where it's like, flap, flap, flap. Like is this plastic thing I sort of do. Yeah, I got that. This will help with my laundry. Because I never worked retail. You can tell the people that worked retail and those that didn't because the ones that work retail can fold those clothes and towels like that. And I just. I botch it every time. And so I bought one of those things and it works. But it's one of the. But the thing is, though, you're taking this big, huge. It's the size of a. I don't know what, like two serving trays. And then you're having to fold each shirt with that. And after a while you're like, I'd rather just have the wrinkled shirt than deal with this. But I did. I got the fold, fold a shirt thing.

[Host]

There's one infomercial that I keep seeing that is really attractive to me, but I just don't know how it's possible because I go down to South America quite a bit. I love it down there, but my Spanish sucks. So every time I travel down there, it's always a struggle. Always a struggle. I'm ordering food. I probably had cow's tongue three times last week and didn't even know it.

[Jessica]

So you bought a Spanish speaking person off the television?

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Jessica]

That's cool.

[Host]

Actually. Right off of Beaufort Highway. So I'm gonna get right into the car and there's an infomercial of how you can learn Spanish in one hour. Right. How the hell is that possible? But they're selling it so well that I'm like, maybe I should get my hands on this thing in one hour. You can learn Spanish.

[Jeff]

No way.

[Host]

I don't know either.

[Jessica]

You should buy it and try it.

[Jeff]

I have heard the Rosetta stone works and they sell that on tv, but that's not one of those, like, asthma seen on TV. But Rosetta Stone's expensive.

[Melissa]

It's real expensive.

[Jeff]

Yeah, it's 300 bucks or something. I mean it. I was like, whoa, we have to speak another language.

[Host]

Really?

[Jessica]

We've got the Rosetta stone one for Spanish if anyone wants to borrow it.

[Jeff]

Oh, yeah.

[Host]

Oh, really?

[Melissa]

Did it work?

[Jessica]

But I haven't even used it yet.

[Jeff]

See, that's the thing is you have to be diligent to, like, stick with it even after spending the money on it.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Host]

So this can be about any item that you bought. Not the Snuggie. It doesn't have to be the Snuggie or whatever, but anything you bought off an infomercial could be that George Foreman Grill. I know. Some people love that thing. Others think it just absolutely sucks.

[Jeff]

I want to know about that mini burger thing we mentioned earlier, because that

[Jessica]

thing was the slider maker.

[Jeff]

Awesome. Yes.

[Jessica]

I'll tell you what they're doing with that thing.

[Melissa]

Probably that's yelling at you.

[Jessica]

They're putting all the stuff in there for the sliders. Then they're putting. Put it in the oven. And then what you don't see is the intern going to Ted's Montana Grill, buying a platter, sliders bringing it back in. Then they sliding them in. It's a secret oven. They take out the thing, and they put in the professionally made ones.

[Jeff]

I'm telling you, it looks cool.

[Host]

Hey, Meg. Hey.

[Gina]

I was just gonna tell you that my friends and I have been watching the Snuggie infomercials for, like, the past month, and they are hilarious. And they're actually sold out everywhere.

[Jeff]

No way they're that rare.

[Gina]

We tried to call, like, as a joke a couple weeks ago, and they are sold out.

[Host]

Okay, that's hilarious.

[Jennifer]

Hilarious joke there.

[Melissa]

That's the greatest invention ever made. I love to stay warm, and I've been looking for that for the longest time.

[Jeff]

Has anyone seen it with a Falcons logo on it?

[Host]

Yeah, that's probably next. They're probably working on trademarks right now.

[Melissa]

Absolutely. Has anyone ever owned a Chia Pet? I mean, they're around. They've been around for 50 years, or it seems like.

[Host]

Yeah, we got them for Hayden, I think a couple of years ago, I

[Melissa]

owned one, but I work fine. Every year. I almost get it, and then I don't. I'm like, I don't want to be the door. We almost bought that one Simpson head Chia. Like, the Scooby Doo.

[Jessica]

We almost bought the one that the cat that grows the pet grass at the Cat can eat. Because we were really thinking, Goo Goo doesn't vomit enough in our own home. So if we could, you know, have her puke even without going outside to eat the lawn, it'd be cool.

[Host]

Hey, Gina. Good morning. You're part of the bird show. Hi.

[Gina]

Hi.

[Melissa]

Hey, what'd you buy?

[Jessica]

I bought.

[Gina]

Actually, my husband kind of got it for me as a joke for Christmas, but it was the pet egg.

[Host]

The pet egg.

[Gina]

The pet egg is like a foot thing.

[Host]

Say again?

[Gina]

It's like a foot thing that kind of helps you manicure your feet.

[Melissa]

That's right. Takes the dry skin off.

[Host]

Okay.

[Jessica]

The manicure egg.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

You have that, too?

[Host]

I have that.

[Jeff]

And the Snuggie oh, my gosh.

[Host]

No wonder why you don't have any money.

[Melissa]

Well, the ped egg was really inexpensive. Yeah, I didn't. I used it once and that was it.

[Host]

How about you, Gina? Did you love it? Would you recommend it?

[Gina]

I absolutely love it. It worked. We got it at the as seen on TV store.

[Jeff]

I love that.

[Jessica]

I got, I gotta say, an etiquette thing with the pet egg, which seems so obvious. It will seem so obvious to everyone in this room, but we went to Jessica and I went to a white elephant Christmas party, and my gift was the pet egg combined with the of glove, which, by the way, the almost

[Melissa]

bought the O glove, too.

[Jessica]

The OV Glove is great.

[Jeff]

I have an OV glove. You and Jessica gave it to me.

[Melissa]

Does it work?

[Jeff]

It does.

[Gina]

It does.

[Jeff]

It works pretty good.

[Jessica]

It's an oven mitt with fingers.

[Host]

Oh, it makes perfect sense.

[Jeff]

That's cool.

[Melissa]

That's one of those things.

[Host]

Like, why didn't I think of that?

[Jessica]

So anyways, we gave somebody, as the white elephant gift the pet egg in the oven glove, and he decided to keep it because it was such a cool thing. But another woman at the party opened up the pet egg and began using it.

[Host]

Oh, no.

[Jessica]

So you're scraping it on your foot and the dead skin shavings fall inside there.

[Jennifer]

Gross.

[Gina]

Gross.

[Jessica]

And then announced that it works really well and gave it back to the rightful owner.

[Host]

I can't do that.

[Melissa]

She peed on it. Did he not give it back?

[Jessica]

He tried to. And she's like, no, you can keep it. Of course you can't use someone else's shaving device.

[Host]

Hey, Kai. Good morning. You're part of the birch show violation.

[Gina]

Hey, how are you? I got that shark super steamer. You know, like, that thing is supposed to work on the water and the steam and you can blow all the dirt off and. Yeah, that's a big fraud.

[Host]

I don't know that.

[Melissa]

I know that one.

[Gina]

Wasted all my time. I bought it thinking I could clean my kitchen floors with it real good and get the crevices in the bathroom. That thing sucks. You have to get so up on it to do it. And it's more time trying to get, like, one spot than it would take you to clean it with, like, a toothbrush. Like, that thing sucks.

[Host]

So the super steamer. Don't get that. There was the one a couple of years ago, that little vibrating belt that you put around your waist.

[Melissa]

I had that.

[Host]

You have that one also?

[Melissa]

I did have that in my.

[Host]

That was supposed to.

[Melissa]

It came from that store Give us your credit card. I didn't sign up to eat.

[Host]

People were supposed to contract your abs like and you're supposed to get these sculpted abs without ever doing a sit up at all. And I thought 12 times.

[Jessica]

I gotta go get that thing.

[Melissa]

Didn't work.

[Host]

But we talked about it on the air and everybody called up and said, that thing sucks.

[Melissa]

What a waste of time for that ab heating belt. It was supposed to like sweat off the pounds. I had that too. Didn't work. You're just pretty much getting yourself hot for no reason.

[Host]

Hey, Chris. Good morning. You're part of the bird show. What's up?

[Chris]

What's up guys? I actually buy like everything off tv. I have the aqua globes. I bought a bunch of those for gifts and I actually have some in the house. And I have a little smooth away hair thing. And I have a snuggie and I have a pet egg.

[Jessica]

What's an aqua glove?

[Chris]

Yeah, it's actually what you do is you, you fill it with water and you put it in your plants. So when your plant breathes, the oxygen actually goes up in it and releases water into the plant. So it waters your plant for you.

[Jeff]

Dude.

[Host]

Okay.

[Chris]

And they're actually really cool. I actually work at a store, we sell all this stuff and I get like 30% off of it. So it's. I get all of it, like really, really dirt cheap. And it's all cool as crap.

[Jessica]

Are you hiring? Because Wendy needs that part time job.

[Host]

Forget about five paces. This is the place you need to be. Right here.

[Melissa]

I know that plant thing he's talking about, it's really cool. You don't have to water your plants.

[Jeff]

You just stick them.

[Chris]

They're like the cool thing. We could not keep them in stock at my work. And then I actually bought a Chia Pet too, just this Christmas. Because right after Christmas they're like eight bucks now. So.

[Host]

So the aqua glove you highly recommend.

[Chris]

The Aqua glove's awesome. The pedag's awesome. The Snuggie, the sleeves are so huge. The only thing I don't really like is a little smooth away thing. I bought it for my roommate. You like basically sand away your hair and it kind of sucks.

[Host]

Ok. Yeah, it doesn't say, that's not

[Melissa]

a ring at all.

[Jessica]

I just think that tagline kind of sucks sand away your hair And Lee, good Morning.

[Host]

You're on Q100.

[Chris]

Hey, good morning.

[Host]

How y' all doing? All right. What's up?

[Chris]

Yeah, the story I thought of is my dad, he purchased this it's like a miracle tanning cream. And what was so funny about it is, you know, he locked his way in the bathroom and, you know, made sure no one could use it. Because when you see the commercial, you see these models and they rub the tanning cream on and they're, you know, instantly tan. Well, it just so happened we were going on vacation, and so he's like, yeah, you know, I'm gonna save this cream for my vacation. Well, we get down there, you know, we've had flights and everything booked already. He applies the tanning cream all over his body, and instead it turned him purple.

[Jessica]

Oh, no.

[Melissa]

You're kidding.

[Host]

So the dude had to go on the beach purple?

[Chris]

Nah. What he did, he actually had to go to the bathroom and, like, more or less break off his skin.

[Host]

Oh, no.

[Jessica]

Well, he had to use that thing that sands away the hair off your skin. See, that's it. There you go.

[Chris]

That's right.

[Host]

See, that's the smart thing about the company is they would sell you some tanning stuff that makes you purple and then sell the antidote, also get you back to your regular skin color. And that's the miracle tanning cream. So unless you want to be purple, you're going for that look. I think I'd stay away from that one. The Total Gym, the review on that one liked it. The Oreck vacuum sucks.

[Jessica]

But what if you have to pick up a bowling ball with your vacuum cleaner?

[Host]

The slider maker people were calling saying, absolutely sucks. Also, oh, no. The Birch show.

[Jeff]

With VRBoCare help is always ready before, during, and after your stay.

[Melissa]

We've planned for the plot twists, so

[Jeff]

support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind.

[Melissa]

So this is a true story. This is something that I have actually experienced. I was in Florida for the holiday, and Katie and I, we always road trip everywhere. So we were coming back home. So we were headed back to Iblua.

[Jessica]

Even when you went to Japan, you road tripped.

[Melissa]

That's right. We. Yeah, because we had a special car that drove over the ocean. No. Anyway, so it was a plane pool. Yeah. Yeah. So we were coming back from Florida, and before we left town, we decided that we wanted to get an audiobook so that, you know, something to listen to on the way back because, you

[Host]

know, you don't want to talk.

[Melissa]

Yeah, well, I mean, we talk all the time. And so we decided. And she wasn't feeling well, so we decided to get an audiobook. We go into a bookstore. We're trying to find a bookstore where we Were just driving around. We found like, a Books A Million, I think was the. The chain that we found. So we went in, got, you know, picked an audiobook out. Fine. We're in line to. To purchase the item. And we noticed that the cashier behind the desk that was checking everybody out was asking everybody about, you know, the typical card. Do you have your Books A Million Shopper Savers card, whatever it's called, trying

[Host]

to push one of those cards on it.

[Jessica]

Books A Million club. Are you a member? You can save 10% today and every day.

[Melissa]

Hey, that is obnoxious on its own, but she is. Her spiel was probably four times longer than what Jeff had just said.

[Host]

And you can't stop them. They're like a runaway train.

[Melissa]

So Katie and I are standing there, and there's a guy in front of us. Poor guy who did the physical symbol of, no, I'm not interested. Like, just the whole kind of moving his hands around like, no, I'm good, I'm good. And she kept going and kept going. So Katie and I are making fun of the fact that the poor guy cannot get out of her spiel, you know, But I was prepared. I was like, oh, well, you know, at least I know that she's about to come at me with this. So I'm in. My turn. I go up, I put the audiobook down, ready to check out. She said, do you have your books, Millionaire Shop for Cash? And I was like, no, thanks, I'm not interested. And I'm good. Oh, are you sure? It'll save you 10%. And I'm like, no, actually, I'm really good. I appreciate it, but no, thank you. And then she said, well, let me tell you about it anyway. And then went into this spiel about. And I wish I could remember what you said, because it was almost like I was in an SNL skit.

[Host]

At what point did you finally just say, look, can I just tell you that you're wasting your time here?

[Melissa]

I said, I'm good. I'm really good, you know? And then she kept going and kept going, and fortunately, she's checking me out at the same time. But then she put. She slapped down on the table this list of magazines and told me that I also qualify for these magazines. Which magazine do I want? And I stared at her and I said, what? Did you just say what? And then she stared back at me and we. And there was a pause there for, you know.

[Jessica]

And then that music, the dual music.

[Melissa]

Yes, and so it's a showdown now. Yeah, exactly. And then I can't remember what. What broke the silence because there's sweat beading on our foreheads and twitchy fingers on what we were gonna do. If I was gonna sling my book at her, she was gonna sling a card and cut my throat. But, yeah. So she slapped my receipt down and I left without much more said.

[Host]

I think this goes along with the same conversation we had a couple of days ago about the mall kiosk about vultures that are overly aggressive this year. And I'm also hearing it on the phones now from time to time with phone solicitors, how they're more aggressive. And I think this has everything to do with the economy.

[Melissa]

Absolutely.

[Host]

I think that these paid on commission. And with every magazine subscription in your case, it is sold, or every phone solicitation that comes in. I've had a guy on the phone say to me when I said, look, I'm not interested. What, you don't like saving money?

[Melissa]

What?

[Jessica]

Oh, yeah, I've had that line used before. I understand it with the phone soliciting and trying to actually get you to physically spend money to purchase something. What I don't like is the. Would you like to save 10% by opening a car today?

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

And then I say, oh, no, thank you. I'm fine. Well, do you have our card? As a matter of fact, I do, but I'm just choosing to use my American Express because I really like Sky Miles because they would get me away from you.

[Melissa]

Well, you're already making a purchase. I mean, going on. What Jeff's saying is you already are spending money in the store and have been in the store. And the fact that. And I really wish it was so comical, it went on for so long that it became offense.

[Host]

All right, there may be a reason why they are forcing these on you. Good morning. Q100. Hi.

[Gina]

Good morning.

[Host]

How are you?

[Gina]

I'm good. How are you?

[Host]

Good, good.

[Gina]

I used to work for Books A Million. I was one of the managers, and the cashier actually have to. They have to do a certain percentage. And if they don't, they will get fired.

[Host]

If they don't do what? If they don't sell.

[Gina]

If they don't do the preferred customer cards and the magazine.

[Host]

Yeah, that puts. I mean, that really puts your. Your risk. Because if your employees get overly aggressive and you turn somebody like Melissa Carter off here, she's never shopping there ever again.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I will go to Barnes and Nobler Borders before I go to books a million now, because I don't want to have that anymore. Because it turned me off so much. No, I want.

[Jessica]

Yeah, but one of those also, they

[Gina]

actually charge more for their card.

[Melissa]

I understand that. But guess what? They asked me for the card. I say, I don't want it, or I do want it, and that's the end of the conversation.

[Host]

Yeah, let's let it go.

[Melissa]

At that point, a lot of the

[Gina]

cashiers will do it and. But you always have the ones that want to exceed because. Especially if the district manager's house out of that store or something. Because if they don't hear them offering it, or especially like the little. They have a stupid little. I don't work for the company anymore. But because we would have to do this to the cashiers, and it's embarrassing and it's so unfair because, you know, $20 for a year thing. And there used to be stuff that they could get or free stuff that you would get to sign up, and that was different. Or used to to be $10, but when it went to $20, the cashiers are putting.

[Host]

He's doing the same thing.

[Melissa]

Former employee.

[Jessica]

No, it's the same as Scientology. So once you're in, you're never really.

[Melissa]

I don't care about the discount and all this stuff. I understand what you're saying. But it's like if you can sense from the customer that they're not interested and they're giving you physical. That poor boy was giving these physical signals that I. I thought he was going to find. I don't know what he was going to do.

[Host]

Like, what part of no are you not picking up on here, the N or the O?

[Melissa]

It was so funny that Katie actually had physically leave us. And she was toward the door laughing because it was so ridiculous. Well, I used to work retail, and I can understand the whole credit card thing. I mean, we got extra money for giving out credit cards. The more credit cards, the more cash we got. We would get cash up front for giving out credit cards.

[Host]

I understand. But the bottom line, again, you're gonna lose the customer if you go over the Internet.

[Jessica]

Yeah, I'm not faulting. I don't think Melissa is either faulting the employee because I busted my ass. It was Eddie Bauer. You got the Eddie Bauer card? I got 10 bucks.

[Melissa]

Seriously, I've got cards to some places it's okay to ask me, but you, you know, let's have an inter. Let's have a personal interchange. And if you can tell that I'm saying no, then let it go.

[Host]

Hey, Nikita.

[Melissa]

Good morning.

[Host]

You're part of the Burt show? Huh?

[Jessica]

Your slogan. If I say no, let it go.

[Gina]

I'm sorry, guys. I'm up early and I'm just excited.

[Host]

That's all right.

[Melissa]

What's up?

[Gina]

I actually work at autozone and we have to do the same thing. We have what we call an AutoZone rewards card. We have that every couple, even if they were only supposed to ask if they spend $20, but we have to ask even if they spend $10.

[Melissa]

Well, it's okay to ask. That's the thing. It's okay to ask me, and I get the commission on the cards and everything, but don't spend literally five minutes, and I'm not kidding, five minutes explaining to me about the card when I'm telling you no three times.

[Gina]

You know, sometimes we have to do the same thing. Like we have what we call checkout challenge.

[Melissa]

The checkout challenge sounds exciting.

[Gina]

It's like an item of the quarter and we have to push it. It could be something that costs like $8 normally. It may cost like $2 now. And we have to ask. And if we don't ask and if we don't sell enough during the quarter or the period, then they threaten our job.

[Host]

You guys are becoming like drug dealers pushing your drugs on everybody else.

[Melissa]

I feel bad for the employees because, I mean, the threat of firing, if you don't do that, that's wrong.

[Host]

It puts tremendous pressure on because you

[Melissa]

can't pay that employee if you lose your customers. You know what I mean?

[Host]

The bird show. You having second thoughts here, Jennifer?

[Jennifer]

No, it's a little bit of both. I'm nervous. Yeah.

[Melissa]

Why are you nervous?

[Jennifer]

The whole swimsuit and then sit here.

[Host]

Yeah. This is. I'm telling you, I've had to do this twice now. I mean, we haven't officially called it motivation by humiliation, but when I've had to take these two pictures for our website and I knew I was going to be half naked on the. On the site. And look, there is no better motivator than when people are gonna be looking at you and you know they're gonna be judging you. You wanna look your best, right?

[Jennifer]

I'm gonna skip that extra trip to the cupcake shop.

[Host]

Totally. I mean, it's on your mind all the time. All the time. And we've been talking about this the last couple of days. New Year's resolutions are funny because they seem like such a great idea on January 1st, but for the most part, by January 20th, look at the gyms, right?

[Melissa]

They're hacked now.

[Host]

Hacked right now.

[Melissa]

But then in a couple weeks, they'll start dwindling. By February, they'll be empty again.

[Jessica]

It's like we were talking about that boot camp thing. That challenge a TV station to put a camera at boot camp because they were at boot camp, the first show of the year, and there's like, 50 people out there jumping Jackson doing their tire run. They put the same camera there on February 1, it's going to be, like, 30 people. March 1, 15 people. By April 1, it's going to be the trainer and, like, two of his friends.

[Host]

And it's the same thing year out, year in and year out with resolutions. You make the same ones every year, and. And you really need something different to make sure that you're going to be successful this year. And that's why we have offered up motivation by humiliation. And Jennifer here has great motivation because you're getting married this year, right?

[Jennifer]

Yeah, in November.

[Host]

Okay.

[Melissa]

Congratulations.

[Jennifer]

Thanks.

[Host]

Yeah, congratulations.

[Jeff]

That'll be a motivator. Anyway.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I'm getting married in Mexico, so I don't want to look like a little beached.

[Host]

Well, you're going to be fine. So you want to lose weight for the wedding, or are you more concerned about the honeymoon?

[Jennifer]

A little bit of both.

[Host]

Both.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Host]

Isn't the wedding generally, like, the motivating factor anyway, though?

[Melissa]

Like, pictures? Yeah.

[Jennifer]

I just came back from a wedding and I saw the pictures and I kind of hanging over the dress, and I was like, oh, this is gonna be the year.

[Host]

You guys ever had that, like, there's one defining moment where you realize, okay, I gotta start doing something. It's either a picture or you can get into a chair that you used to be able to get into.

[Jeff]

Or for a lot of women, it's their pair of jeans. When those jeans don't button anymore, you gotta.

[Jennifer]

Or when the stomach hangs over the jeans.

[Jeff]

Yeah. When you realize you got the muffin top going.

[Host]

Yeah. I think for guys, it's the love handle on the side of the jeans. Like, when it starts to. The jeans roll over a little bit on the side. You're like, okay, time to go.

[Jessica]

When I couldn't fit into my high school cheerleading uniform anymore,

[Gina]

I'll do it.

[Host]

So, Jennifer, here's how motivation by humiliation is gonna work. You came in here today knowing this, that we're gonna put you in a bikini, and you're gonna go with Tracy into another studio. You guys will be by yourselves, and she's gonna take pictures of you.

[Jessica]

It's the regular guys studio. But don't be intimidated by that.

[Melissa]

They won't Pay attention or say anything. They're very respectful. Don't worry about it.

[Jeff]

There's bikinis in there all the time.

[Melissa]

Right.

[Host]

And I'm assuming that those are pictures that you don't want to go public because you don't like the way you look right now.

[Jennifer]

Right? Right. Yeah, I don't want them. I don't want anybody to see those.

[Host]

Well, Tracy will keep those. She's gonna take pictures from your front, your back. I mean, she's not. These are not gonna be flattering photos. We're not gonna. We didn't hire a professional photographer. The lighting's not gonna be great. You don't want these going public.

[Jennifer]

Right.

[Host]

So we're gonna hold on to those. And now here's the real question for you. How much weight do you want to lose and by what date?

[Jennifer]

I want to lose about 30 pounds by. I say July 1st.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Host]

July 1st.

[Melissa]

She looked at me, and I feel a lot of pressure. Like I said, July 1st. I feel great, you know? That's a good amount.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. Six months.

[Host]

That's a workable number, right, Jen?

[Jeff]

I mean, I think so, but it's gonna take diligence, because at first, when you first get started, you'll definitely see a big change. I'll say, like, once you change your habits or eating habits and workout habits, whatever, you'll lose £10 in a hurry. And then it's that plateau that you have to get through.

[Melissa]

You know what I mean?

[Jeff]

And really sticking with it after that.

[Jennifer]

You know, My goal is to not only just work out, but, you know, change the way I eat because I pig out. I can eat a whole pizza, you know, for lunch. So I kind of want to change everything.

[Host]

This will stop that. I promise you that. Are you a yo yo dieter? Where you try? Not successful. You try. You're doing all right. Then it's not good. Then it's good.

[Jennifer]

It just don't work out at all.

[Host]

No.

[Melissa]

I had a girl.

[Jessica]

She's a no, no Dieter.

[Host]

I just never even really tried.

[Jessica]

Not so much.

[Jeff]

So do you know what to do as far as, like, eating goes and exercising goes? You kind of have a plan.

[Jennifer]

I had a trainer last year. Okay. And I just, like, end up and go into her. But this year, I. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna. She gave me a food log, and I'm writing down how many calories I'm taking in and what food groups to eat.

[Melissa]

I'm sure the first thing she says is, donate a whole pizza at lunch. I mean, that you know, I don't know. That may be. Or the cupcakes.

[Host]

Yeah, you probably want to stay away from those also. All right, so we're gonna do an official weigh in with producer Tracy. We won't mention publicly what the weight is because I know women are sensitive about that. But we will bring you in from time to time and find out how much weight that you have lost going up to that day. And you want to lose 30 pounds by July 1st?

[Jeff]

Yes.

[Host]

Okay.

[Melissa]

All right. And you're gonna do it.

[Jeff]

You're gonna feel so proud of yourself once you do it.

[Host]

And you're gonna do it with it.

[Melissa]

Absolutely. Oh, thanks, guys.

[Host]

Oh, you gotta do it.

[Melissa]

Absolutely.

[Host]

And here's why. So let's. Let's make it completely clear on why you're here and what's gonna happen on July 1st if you don't reach your 30 pound goal, then the pictures that you take today are going up on our website. We have public domain with them. So if we decide we want to put them in the ajc, we can put them in the ajc. If we want to put them up on a billboard, we can put them up on a billboard. That would be really close to your house. You'd have to go buy it every single day.

[Jennifer]

Oh, my God.

[Melissa]

We're sweet now, but Dan will be

[Jessica]

mean in July painted on the side of your house.

[Host]

That's right. So you are basically saying to us, do with this picture whatever you want.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Host]

If I don't lose the £30 exactly. You're okay with it?

[Jennifer]

I'm fine.

[Host]

Okay.

[Jennifer]

Because I'm gonna lose it.

[Melissa]

You're gonna lose it. That's right. It's not even gonna be an issue.

[Jeff]

What does your fiance say?

[Jennifer]

Oh, he told me not to come.

[Host]

He did?

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Cause he. He knows how I am. You know, I'll try for a little bit and then just kind of let it go. I don't do anything, you know, after it. So this is actually going to be the motivation, you know, because I know he said no. So I'm going to keep going so my picture's not up and vining somewhere.

[Host]

When is the last time he said, look, rethink this? Was it on the drive in this morning or was it like. It was. He's like, maybe you want to think about this

[Melissa]

still.

[Host]

Turn around.

[Jessica]

Get it?

[Host]

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[Melissa]

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[Host]

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