The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Monday, December 15 [Vault]

Overview

This episode of The Bert Show spotlights the generational clash over pop culture—what music, TV shows, and concerts parents once forbade their kids from enjoying. The crew, joined by callers, share personal stories and reflect on why those "taboo" forms of entertainment were thought to be so shocking at the time. Later, the conversation pivots to nostalgia for old concert T-shirts and ends with a playful segment about the best and worst pickup lines. Throughout, the cast keeps the tone light-hearted, irreverent, and relatable.

1. Forbidden Entertainment: What Parents Wouldn’t Allow

[00:33 – 13:17] Main Segment

Key Points & Insights

• Generational Shock: Hosts discuss how every generation has their version of forbidden music or TV—Britney Spears for today’s teens, Madonna for their parents, Elvis and the Beatles for grandparents.
• Notable "Banned" Content:
  • MTV: Many parents thought it was too inappropriate, even though current MTV is considered far more risqué. (Deanna & Amanda, [02:31–03:14])
  • Songs: Salt-N-Pepa’s "Push It," Samantha Fox’s "Naughty Girls Need Love Too," and Wang Chung’s "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" all make the list for being misunderstood or overtly sexual. (Amanda [03:22], Tia [04:08], Deanna [06:12])
  • Shows: Nickelodeon’s "You Can’t Do That on Television"—banned for green slime "looking like snot" and for using words like "shut up" and "fart." The Smurfs and The Cosby Show were also forbidden in some homes for wildly different reasons. (Deanna, [04:53], Guest Caller, [05:31], Amanda, [05:51], Lisa [07:52])
• Cultural Misunderstandings: Some bans stemmed from rumors (e.g., Kiss standing for "Knights in Satan’s Service") or misconceptions about lyrics and content.
• Reflections on Generational Shifts: The hosts contemplate how each generation overreacts to popular culture and how the cycle will likely continue, joking about what will offend them when they're older.

  "Every generation does this and we're going to get crotchety and old and conservative and I just wonder what is it going to take to offend us?" — Frank [12:37]
  "By the time we're 80, I'm convinced everybody's going to be walking around naked..." — Charles [13:00]

Memorable Quotes

• "My parents wouldn't let me watch MTV." — Deanna [02:31]
• "My mom would freak out whenever that 'Everybody Wang Chung' song came on..." — Deanna [06:12]
• "My mom would not let me watch Nickelodeon's 'You Can't Do That on Television' because the green slime looked like snot." — Deanna [04:53]
• "I was not allowed to watch the Smurfs because their magic made them demonized..." — Lisa [07:52]
• "I grew up in a rather racist family, and my parents did not want us watching a successful black couple [The Cosby Show]." — Guest Caller [05:31]

Listener Call-In Highlights

• Callers describe the tapes and shows they were forced to burn or sneak, including Def Leppard, Hardy Boys, and even cartoons.
• Frank and Amanda recall the shock value of "2 Live Crew" and Dire Straits, joking about how banning music only boosted its popularity.

2. Nostalgia: Classic Concert T-Shirts

[15:57 – 20:56] Second Segment

Key Points & Insights

• Signature Tees: The cast and callers reminisce about prized concert T-shirts—Debbie Gibson, New Kids on the Block, Hootie & The Blowfish, Tina Turner, Poison, Def Leppard, Foreigner, and Kiss, to name a few.
• Revival Trend: Frank shares news of Trunk Ltd., a Santa Monica company reissuing licensed classic rock tees for up to $300, noting the rising trend of "retro" in fashion. (Frank [16:07])
• Gender Surprises: Charles is surprised that women are just as likely as men to keep old tour tees.
• Caller Stories:
  • New Kids on the Block 1988 tour tee ("NTOTB, baby!") — Deanna [17:19–17:25]
  • Debbie Gibson Electric Youth tee, cherished despite no longer fitting — Melissa [18:14]
  • Bands like Poison, Def Leppard, Foreigner, Kiss ("Kiss Army"), and Van Halen prompt stories of adolescent rebellion and sentimental value.

Memorable Quotes

• "I still got my Skinner T shirt, man." — Charles [18:47]
• "My husband insists upon keeping his jacket from this Kiss concert he went to when he was 8 years old." — Deanna [19:33]
• "When you were a kid pretending to be Kiss, if I couldn't be Peter Chris, I wouldn't play along." — Charles [20:00]

3. Pickup Lines: The Good, the Bad, and the Hilarious

[21:03 – 27:32] Third Segment

Key Points & Insights

• Role Reversal: The hosts ask women to share pickup lines they've used, revealing that women use them too—but with a playful, sometimes self-deprecating twist.
• Examples from Callers and Hosts:
  • "Pull my finger" (Adrian, [21:30])
  • "Do I have parmesan cheese on my face?"—used after a night in Buckhead to catch a guy’s attention (Caller, [21:53])
  • Talking about astrology signs, reciting beer can creeds (Allison reciting the entire Budweiser Creed as a line, [26:43])
• Observations on Male Perception:

  "If you're just friendly to a guy, they think I'm convinced flirting with him... I'll be friendly with guys and they'll totally misinterpret that." — Frank [23:36]
  "Every girl in my zip code digs me. It's hard for me to go out of the house." — Charles [24:13]

• Modern Moves: Tricks like borrowing a phone to get someone’s number are dissected—some find it clever, others creepy.

  "I just think that would be creepy. I'd be like, ooh, you freak. Get away." — Amanda [25:48]

• Cynical Wisdom:

  "Every single relationship starts with deceit in one way or the other." — Frank [26:30]

Memorable Quotes

• "Your eyes are like...pools of tar." — Frank's worst-ever pickup line [21:04]
• "Do I have parmesan cheese on my face?" (successful bar pickup) — Caller [21:53]
• "I've memorized the Budweiser Creed...I'll go up to a guy that's drinking Budweiser, take the can out of his hand and recite the whole creed to him." — Allison [26:43]
• "That's impressive." — Amanda (to Allison, [27:23])

4. Notable Moments, Jokes & Running Themes

Standout Humor

• Comparing David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar to “50-year-old Tiffany and Debbie Gibson” still fighting (Charles, [10:09]).
• Repeated nods to how every old trend or moral panic seems silly in hindsight, and how each generation dooms itself to repeat them.

Nostalgia & Authenticity

• Deep dives into collective memories (TV, music, fashion) draw laughter and a sense of solidarity.
• Hosts frequently poke fun at themselves and each other, adding warmth and relatability.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:33 – Parents’ Pop-Culture Bans Begin
• 02:31 – No MTV! Caller stories
• 04:53 – Nickelodeon’s Green Slime (“You Can’t Do That on Television”)
• 05:31 – The Cosby Show and racism in the family
• 06:12 – Misunderstood Song Meanings (“Wang Chung,” “Turning Japanese”)
• 07:52 – Smurfs and "demonized" magic
• 12:37 – The cycle of generational outrage
• 15:57 – Fashion throwback: classic band tees
• 17:19 – New Kids on the Block concert tee call-in
• 18:14 – Debbie Gibson Electric Youth tee call-in
• 21:03 – Best/worst pickup lines (segment begins)
• 21:53 – “Parmesan cheese on my face” pickup tactic
• 23:36 – Guys misreading friendliness
• 26:43 – Budweiser Creed pickup line
• 27:04 – End of main content

Conclusion

This episode leverages nostalgia and humor to bond listeners and hosts over shared experiences of "forbidden" media and cultural taboos. Through candid stories and playful banter, The Bert Show gently mocks the overprotectiveness of past generations, delights in pop culture memorabilia, and teases out the genuine awkwardness of pickup lines. The energy remains upbeat, authentic, and inviting—making it the perfect morning escape.