Full Show PT 3: Monday, December 29 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Monday, December 29 [Vault]

Episode Date: December 29, 2025
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting / The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & others)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into real-life relationship drama with a listener calling in for advice on a complicated betrayal involving her husband and his (their) best friend. The cast and listeners weigh in on issues of trust, boundaries, and how alcohol can influence honest confessions. The latter half of the episode switches gears into funny and alarming "Home Alone" stories, where parents (and some listeners) recount moments when loved ones—kids and pets—were mistakenly left behind. The tone ranges from compassionate and serious during the relationship dilemma to light-hearted and self-deprecating during the parenting mishaps segment.

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Key Segments & Insights

1. Listener Drama: The Husband, The Best Friend & The Confession

[00:58 – 16:48]

The Dilemma Unpacked

• Lisa, a listener, shares:
  • Married to her husband for two years, together for six before that.
  • Both husband and Lisa share a mutual best guy friend (also the best man at their wedding), inseparable for years, never any prior romantic indication.
  • During a recent birthday night out, the friend became intoxicated, confessed his long-standing love for Lisa, said he always compared every woman to her, and claimed he "should have been" with Lisa.
  • The incident ended with the friend refusing to let Lisa leave the car until he kissed her forehead (she protested), with her husband coming to the car and Lisa disclosing everything immediately.

Notable Quotes

• Lisa on the betrayal:

  “It’s hard to kind of have a guy friend who won’t ever hit on you... he was somebody who never, ever hit on me whatsoever.” (02:46)

• Bert on the friend’s confession:

  “Let’s just say something crazy... that you end up falling in love with the best friend. Now, I want to put you in the situation of your husband telling his friends why he lost his wife... they're all gonna go, you’re a moron for keeping the guy around in the first place.” (07:40)

• Co-host’s skepticism about the husband’s reaction:

  “He just keeps telling me to get over it. I’m overreacting. He just had too much to drink... I don’t believe that.” (06:25)

Key Questions Raised

• Should Lisa trust her gut reaction (discomfort, avoidance of friend), or is her husband’s dismissiveness valid?
• Is it "normal" for men to brush off such a confession as drunken nonsense?
• Should Lisa (and her husband) confront the friend, and if so, how?

Bert Show Team & Caller Advice

• Hosts and callers express:
  • The friend’s lack of prior girlfriends and his constant presence is, in hindsight, suspicious (04:10+).
  • Most agree: Alcohol "lowers inhibitions," it doesn't manufacture new feelings ("Your true feelings are coming out" – Bert, 10:39).
  • Husband’s reaction—downplaying the situation—is unusual and troubling.
  • Several suggest Lisa and her husband confront the friend together, as a united front, but that the husband's priority should be Lisa's feeling of safety.
  • Lisa should be honest with her husband about her discomfort, insist that boundaries be respected, and if necessary, step back from the friendship permanently.

Memorable Analogies and Pop Culture References

• Co-host references the "Love Actually" unrequited love storyline (15:09) to express sympathy for the friend’s feelings, but maintains that boundaries are now necessary.

2. Parenting Fails & Home Alone Mishaps

[19:58 – 27:43]

Host’s Story

• Bert:
  Tells a story where he, his family, and their dog are frantically packing up after Thanksgiving in Charleston.

  “We were about 200 yards down the road when I look in the rearview mirror and there’s my dog in the middle of the road, looking at me like, ‘How about me, y’all?’” (20:59)

• Uses this to prompt listeners: have you ever left a kid or pet behind by accident?

Funny and Harrowing Listener Calls

• Field Trip Gone Wrong:
  A caller’s sister was left at a highway rest stop on a field trip because each of two buses thought she was with the other (21:53).
• Mall Mix-Up:
  Large family leaves an 8-year-old at the mall on Black Friday, realizes at lunch that someone’s missing (22:52).
• Gas Station Confusion:
  A mom and dad each think their young son is in the other car—to find out, four miles into their trip, that he’s been left behind at a remote gas station (23:49).
• Baby Left on Car Roof:
  New mother, prepping for a winter doctor’s visit, sets her baby (in carrier) on the roof of the car, almost drives away before realizing (25:40).
• Coats on the Baby:
  During a party, caller was a baby and had coats piled on top of her, parents went home without her (27:16).

Notable Quotes

• Bert, laughing at the near-miss to leave the dog:

  “We were this close to leaving our dog behind in Charleston.” (21:02)

• Caller on her baby nickname, after nearly driving off without her child:

  “Needless to say, that’s how we gave her the nickname Ding Dong, because she is completely dingy.” (25:45)

• Co-host, commiserating with parents:

  “If there is more than one vehicle, you just assume if you don't see them, they're in the other car. And they're not. They're somewhere else.” (27:09)

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• [00:58] – Lisa introduces her dilemma with her husband’s best friend
• [03:39] – Friend’s love confession detailed
• [05:03] – The "kiss on the forehead" and husband’s discovery
• [06:25] – Lisa questions if her husband's response is “normal”
• [10:39] – Bert: “Your true feelings are coming out [when drunk].”
• [15:09] – Pop culture analogy to "Love Actually"
• [16:10] – Advice on confronting the friend as a united front
• [19:58] – Start of “Home Alone”/Parenting mishaps segment
• [20:59] – Bert’s “forgot the dog” story
• [21:53] – Listener: Sister left at rest stop
• [22:50] – Little Tommy left at mall
• [23:49] – Gas station: son left behind
• [25:40] – Baby left on roof of car
• [27:16] – Baby under coats at a party

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Conclusion & Takeaways

• Relationship Segment:
  The cast and listeners universally agree: alcohol reveals underlying truths; trust and boundaries matter deeply in friendships that straddle genders; and partners should prioritize each other's feelings of safety and discomfort above all. The husband's dismissive stance is almost unanimously criticized.

• Parenting Mishap Segment:
  The second half is punctuated with relatably hilarious and heart-stopping stories of forgetfulness under pressure—reminding parents everywhere that mistakes can happen, but they're usually survivable and, in time, become funny family stories.

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Memorable Moment

• Bert’s summation on the “drunk confession” phenomenon:

  “If Jen and I or Melissa and I go out and we get really drunk, at no point in the night am I gonna say to them, I have always loved you, because I don't.” (10:39)

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Tone:
Fast-paced, friendly, honest, occasionally irreverent, always empathetic—typical of The Bert Show’s trademark “real and funny” brand.

For Listeners Who Missed It:

• You’ll get validation if you believe drunken confessions matter.
• You’ll laugh as the parenting segment turns classic #fail stories into communal comfort.
• If you have ever worried about boundaries in close friendships, or doubted your worth as a multi-tasking parent, this is your “you’re not alone” reminder.

Transcript

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[Bert Show Host]

The bird show.

You really do want to believe that. I mean, if you only have a couple of people, let's be honest in your life that you can truly 100% trust. And you want to believe one of those people is your best friend, Right. You want to believe that your wife is safe around your best friend. Well, we're going to call Birch show listener Lisa here and she's got herself in a situation with her husband and her husband's best friend and she has just thrown all the three of them back and she wants to get Burt show community help. So let me give phone number out first here. 404-741-1005. Hey, Lisa.

[Caller Lisa]

Hey, guys. How are you?

[Bert Show Host]

Okay. How are you? Kind of feeling bummed for you.

[Caller Lisa]

Yes. It's such an honor to be on your show, though.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

Oh, thank you.

[Caller Lisa]

I love you guys.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

Wow.

[Bert Show Host]

Was that being sarcastic?

[Caller Lisa]

No, I love you guys, but I'm really nervous about sharing this problem. It's nerve wracking being on the radio.

[Bert Show Host]

Well, just in reading the email, I can understand how like, just how betrayed you felt, you know?

[Caller Lisa]

Yes. Well, the story in a nutshell is that my husband and I have been married for two years and we dated for six. So we have a really secure relationship. And we've had a mutual best guy friend for about five years who was even the best man in our wedding. We were all three inseparable and we would hang out interchangeably. I would go out with him by myself all the time.

[Bert Show Host]

Can I interrupt for just one second here just for a little clarification? You said this was a mutual friend.

[Caller Lisa]

Was this somebody both of our best friends. We met him at the same time and we just all three clicked.

[Bert Show Host]

So you wouldn't say like your. Your husband was a better friend and brought him into the relationship. You met him at the same time?

[Caller Lisa]

Yeah, we met him at the exact same time. But my husband and him kind of became just more like best buddies and would go off together and I would go off with him by myself too, when my husband traveled for work.

[Bert Show Host]

Okay.

[Caller Lisa]

So the situation is that we trusted him with our lives because of, you know, it's hard to kind of have a guy friend who won't ever hit on you. And he was somebody who never, ever hit on me whatsoever. Well, a couple months ago, it was my husband's birthday and we all three went out like normal. And this best friend had way too much to drink, so I had to drive him home. And my husband followed in his car. Well, the entire way home, out of nowhere, the best friend began to cry. And the entire drive, tell me how much he was in love with me. He's always been in love with me. There would never be anybody else for him because he'll compare everyone to me and that it killed him to watch us get married. And it should have been us because he knows we would have been happy together.

[Bert Show Host]

Oh, boy, such a betrayal. And this was the best man in the wedding?

[Caller Lisa]

Yes, he was the best man. We wouldn't have had anybody else for the best man.

[Bert Show Host]

And he said from day one he was in love with you?

[Caller Lisa]

Yes, well, I was.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

My question is, as you've been talking, like you've all three hung out, you've all three hung out. And I was going to ask, has he ever been in a serious relationship since you've met him? Because, I mean, he. It is kind of, I mean, odd that he would not have bring a double date, a fourth person into your relationship. I mean, he's always hanging out with you guys, right?

[Caller Lisa]

He has never had a girlfriend since I've known him. He's always kind of been just a. A loner. And I think that he comes across way too needy to girls. So he's just never been able to get a girlfriend.

[Bert Show Host]

And he never at any time over the last two years gave you any indication at all that he was attracted to you?

[Caller Lisa]

Never. I. I swear he never did anything inappropriate ever.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

In outwardly.

[Caller Lisa]

I never saw any signals. And I've become pretty keen to signals over the years because of other circumstances with guys. So that's why my husband really loved and trusted this person.

[Bert Show Host]

I don't know what the advice could be here. I mean, what can you do? I mean, it's over.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

I'm curious on what happened afterwards. So he, you know, you're driving his car home because he's drunk, he professes his love for you. You drop him off and drop off the car. You get in the car with your husband, and then what happens?

[Caller Lisa]

Well, what happened when I pulled in the driveway that made it worse is he wouldn't let me out of the car until I let him kiss me on the forehead. And I did not want him to do that. So I was arguing with him, and my husband came up to the window and said, what's going on in here? And that's when I jumped out of the car and got in my husband's car and I told him everything that happened.

[Bert Show Host]

So the timing on this thing was almost like a soap opera where you let this guy kiss you on the forehead, and just as he does, your husband shows up to the side of the car to see it.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

No, she didn't let him.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

And what?

[Bert Show Host]

No, she did. She did let him.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

Yeah. What do you mean by he wouldn't let you out of the car?

[Caller Lisa]

He kept saying, no, don't go. Don't go yet. And he was holding my wrist.

[Bert Show Host]

Yeah, Just that whole drunk. You've been a situation like this, someone's drunk, they want to talk.

[Caller Lisa]

But, yeah, it was just really, really awkward, and I wanted just to get out of there.

[Bert Show Host]

So really, what's your. What's your question then for advice? Because it seems this is going to be pretty slam dunk.

[Caller Lisa]

Well, my question is it's kind of twofold. I want to know if my reaction's normal because now I just can't even face him at all. And my other question is, is my husband's reaction normal? Because he just keeps telling me to get over it. I'm overreacting. He just had too much to drink and it was just the alcohol talking, which I don't believe that you told.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

Him everything that happened between the two of you?

[Caller Lisa]

Yes.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

Okay.

[Bert Show Host]

And your husband said, this is not a big deal. Just get over it?

[Caller Lisa]

Yes. And I don't know if that's normal for men to do that. I don't understand.

[Bert Show Host]

That one wouldn't be normal in my house. Oh, no, that's it.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

So he's really in denial about his best friend.

[Caller Lisa]

Yes. And they've hung out since, but I refused to be involved in that. And the best friend invited himself over to our house. And so I ran and hid in the bathroom, which I know is childish, but I just couldn't bring myself to face him since the ordeal.

[Bert Show Host]

All right, the one thing I want to focus on here, because we're gonna need some kind of focus here. 404, 741, 1005. Is the husband's reaction to all this? Because in this whole complicated relationship, this. That to me, seems like the strangest part of the whole thing that he's saying, eh, not a big deal. Let's keep hanging out with him. He was drunk. Not his true feelings. That just seems a little off to me.

[Caller Lisa]

Right.

[Bert Show Host]

I understand why you would feel uneasy. I don't. It seems a little dramatic to run into a bathroom.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

I don't want to see him.

I can understand.

[Bert Show Host]

I can understand it, but I can understand it.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

I think running into the bathroom is. I mean, I think she just got out of the room that he was in, which, you know, happened to be a bathroom, and she got under the tub and covered herself in towels.

[Caller Lisa]

I don't like it.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

I think that's okay.

[Bert Show Host]

Now, your husband. Now, I want to fast forward here and take a peek at the future here. Okay.

[Caller Lisa]

Okay.

[Bert Show Host]

Let's just say something crazy. Let's just say it totally. I mean, totally out of the box thinking here that you end up falling in love with the best friend. Okay. Now I want to. I want to put you in the situation of your husband telling his friends why he lost his wife. They're all going to go, you're a moron for keeping the guy around in the first place. He gave you all the warning signs years ago.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

And.

[Bert Show Host]

And the fact that she fell in love with him is only your fault for keeping the guy around.

[Caller Lisa]

Right. And one of the problems is the best friend has never acknowledged that this even happened. And that would help me if he would acknowledge it.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

Of course not. I mean, now he's sober. He couldn't acknowledge it when he was sober before. So are you expecting to change now?

[Male Co-host/Caller]

No way. I could never look at a friend of mine the same way.

[Bert Show Host]

Me neither. It's over. Hey, Tonya.

[Caller Lisa]

Hi. How are you?

[Bert Show Host]

Good, thank you.

[Caller Lisa]

I just wanted to drive home again, the alcohol point. He probably wouldn't have come onto her had he not been intoxicated. And what I want to know is, why did the wife. Why did the wife drive him home and not the husband?

[Bert Show Host]

That's a legitimate question. Why were you driving him home?

[Caller Lisa]

Because my husband had his work truck there, and so he was following me in his work vehicle, and he didn't want me to have to drive It.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

I. I still am. The problem I have in my mind is just that I can't believe that the conversation didn't come up between you and your husband about the fact that here's your best friend that only hangs out with you. And there was no. I just. I know that in a relationship, if we were hanging out with just one person all the time, we would question, why aren't they dating anybody? You know, like, why are they always hanging out with us? Why don't, you know, like, we would encourage them?

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Did they ever bring a four. Did he ever bring a fourth person, like, to do a double date ever?

[Caller Lisa]

No, never.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

See, I. That.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

See that?

[Advertiser/Announcer]

I can't get over that.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

Yeah, it's a flag to me.

[Bert Show Host]

Hey, Sean, you're on the Burke show on all the hits. Q100. Hi.

[Caller Lisa]

Hi. You know, I've been that drunk guy before where you just, you know, he has to have a lot of respect for. For your relationship because, I mean, being the best man at your wedding and all this time, he's never said anything. And then in this moment of weakness, he, you know, he reveals his feelings for you. It's. I feel bad for him.

[Bert Show Host]

I feel bad for him because.

Would you trust him around your wife?

[Caller Lisa]

And he knows he was rejected, so he's not going to bring it up again.

[Bert Show Host]

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

[Caller Lisa]

You brought it up to him and kind of reassured him that he's not an idiot for feeling the way that he is. But let him know that it can never happen.

[Bert Show Host]

Why are you guys trying to comfort this guy?

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Because the guy that just called, he was that guy.

[Bert Show Host]

Yeah, exactly.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

But it doesn't.

[Bert Show Host]

Now, here's the.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Here's the two things. One, when you drink that much, what happens? Are your not standards lowered, but are your.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

It's the inhibition thing.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Are your inhibitions lowered or are your true feelings coming out?

[Bert Show Host]

Your true feelings are coming out. If Jen and I or Melissa and I go out and we get really drunk, at no point in the night am I gonna say to them, I have always loved you, because I don't.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Right. But you would tell us maybe secrets or something that you normally wouldn't.

[Bert Show Host]

Could happen for sure because it would.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Be like something that, you know, oh, my God, I've been meaning to tell you this, or I've been afraid to tell you this, but it's something that's truthful that you're revealing.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

If I don't care how, if I am sloppy drunk, I'm still not gonna sleep with A man.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Okay.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

I mean, the thing is, don't create. Say that it doesn't, it doesn't create something that wasn't already there. I mean, we've all been in the situations, but it's usually if I've confessed my love to somebody, it's like to an ex girlfriend or, or to someone I am dating or, you know, it's never somebody who I never had feelings for.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Right.

And then the second thing I was going to say is, and this might be way too soap opera, you know, like 1980s Dallas Dynasty, Falcon Crest type, General Hospital twist. Yeah. But let me ask you this. Is there any chance, and I'm asking in the room, I'm not asking Lisa on the phone, is there any chance that there's something going on between the husband and the best friend? So that when this comes up from the woman, the husband. And the husband's like, oh, he doesn't love you because he loves me.

[Bert Show Host]

I don't know.

It's a little far.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

That's a little too far fetched.

[Bert Show Host]

Hey, Lisa, all the other calls on the line are basically saying you can't use the alcohol as the excuse. This is the guy's. Hey, Melissa. Yes, yes, go ahead, Melissa.

[Caller Lisa]

I just cannot believe that people are calling in saying this is all based on alcohol.

[Bert Show Host]

Right.

[Caller Lisa]

I was in this exact same situation.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Really.

[Caller Lisa]

My husband's best friend and his wife used to come to our house. We spent weekends with them. Every weekend. We were the couple that always hung out. They were at our house one time for a Super bowl party. The husband was rubbing on me, touching me in a very. When they left, I said something to my husband. He said, oh, he didn't mean it. You'll fight tomorrow and apologize. The guy called me and he was like, look, I'm embarrassed, you know, it shouldn't happen. I crossed the line. I said, you know what? It's fine. I understand. You know, we were all drinking. And he said, you know, but you sure did feel good.

[Bert Show Host]

Oh, no.

[Caller Lisa]

I didn't tell my husband. I thought it would go away. I said, I told him on that it was inappropriate. Then he would try to get me alone at his house or my house. And I finally got to the point where I didn't want to be alone with him.

[Bert Show Host]

Yeah.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

And this.

[Caller Lisa]

And my husband went out of town and the guy knew. And he showed up at my house drunk, trying to get in, telling me he was in love with me. He was going to leave his wife and come to find out the guy had been having an affair. With another girl in another state.

[Bert Show Host]

Right.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

Of course, this guy, I mean, there's a.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

That was just because of the alcohol.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

I mean, like, if this guy was just attracted to her and one night he got drunk and said, you know what?

[Bert Show Host]

I.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

You know, but he said he was in love with her. And this, the fact that he's never dated anybody, he's never brought a date to them, and he has been jealous of this guy's life this whole time. He has wanted her for a long time. He is in love with her. And I don't know many men who'll say they're in love with somebody sober, let alone when they get drunk.

[Bert Show Host]

Right.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

And so, I mean, this is pretty serious.

[Bert Show Host]

Like, I could almost. I mean, in my house, the relationship with this guy would be done. But I'm just trying to think a little bit bigger than that. Like, if he didn't say the words I love you, and he just like, put his hands on you or tried to kiss you, and then the next morning said, look, it was the alcohol. And then maybe somehow, some way, I could see how your husband would be like, ah, he was just being an idiot. But the whole, I have loved you from day one, no, sir.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Well.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

And you almost feel bad for the guy. And the only reason I say this is because of that scene in Love actually that we were talking about earlier when we were prefacing Lisa's story. There is a scene in that movie, if you've ever seen it. It's Keira Knightley and she is in love, gets married, and the best man in the whole scenario is filming the wedding and he doesn't the wedding video because it's all of her and it's him being in love with her and zooming in. And finally at the end of the movie, he tells her he's in love with her, but that he will never, you know, that he'll never tell her again. It was just one of those things. Yet. And at the end of that movie, you feel bad for the guy. So I almost feel some sympathy for your husband's friend because he is. It's unrequited love. He will never. He will never get in response what he feels for you. But. But I cannot understand your husband being in denial of the entire thing being okay with it.

[Bert Show Host]

Yeah, you gotta let this guy go.

[Caller Lisa]

Should I approach him about what happened and confront him on it?

[Female Co-host/Caller]

What else do you plan to do?

[Male Co-host/Caller]

I think you approach your husband and you say, look, I gotta be honest with you. It bothers me that you're not more bothered by a man who has the potential of being alone with me in the future, professing his love since day one to me.

[Bert Show Host]

You know what the bottom line here is also, is if you tell your husband you're not comfortable around this guy, then your husband, as your husband, has to respect that. And, okay, my priorities are my wife. I gotta protect the family here. Buh. Bye.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

If I. If I'm with a girlfriend and a friend comes over and she goes running into the bathroom and locks the door, I mean, I think as a girlfriend, it is my responsibility to figure out why and make sure that doesn't happen again, you know?

[Caller Lisa]

Right.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

And I think if you guys approach the friend, you have to do it as a couple, like, if that's a good idea. I think if you're gonna sit down and talk to him, you guys have to be the united front.

[Caller Lisa]

That's a good idea. I hadn't thought of that one.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

But your husband, you got to talk to your husband ahead of time, because you can't go in there on a united front and you be 100% and your husband be at, like, 60.

[Caller Lisa]

Right.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

It's got to be 200% from both of you. And you just say, I'm sorry. You've been a great friend. You've been a really great friend, but this is now really awkward for us, so. And you phrase it like, so I think we're gonna have to take a break of being friends, and then it'll just fizzle out.

[Caller Lisa]

Right? I can never hang out with him alone ever again.

[Bert Show Host]

No, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Wow. I'm sorry you're going through this. God, that's like. You feel like you have this, like, bubble going on. It just bursts.

[Bert Show Host]

Terrible, terrible.

[Caller Lisa]

Well, thank you so much for your time.

[Bert Show Host]

Yeah, sure. I mean, you got to call us in a couple of weeks and let us know how this all works out.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Okay?

[Caller Lisa]

Okay, I will.

[Bert Show Host]

Okay. Good luck.

[Caller Lisa]

Thank you. Take care.

[Bert Show Host]

You too. Bye.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Thank you, Lisa.

[Caller Lisa]

Bye.

[Bert Show Host]

The Bird Show. Hey, everyone. Ed Helms here, and hi, I'm Kal Penn, and we're the hosts of Irsay, the Audible, and I Heart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?

[Female Co-host/Caller]

You know what?

[Advertiser/Announcer]

I can see you as Mr. Darcy.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

You got a little Colin Firth.

[Bert Show Host]

Okay, that's really sweet. I appreciate that, but are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett. Here, listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree.

[Bert Show Host]

Zoey, this thing weighs a ton. Drew Ski, lift with your legs man.

Santa. Santa, did you get my letter?

He's talking to you, Bridges. I'm not that.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Of course he did.

[Bert Show Host]

Right Santa, you know my elf Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list and elf. I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T Mobile. You can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies, right Mrs. Claus?

[Advertiser/Announcer]

I'm Mrs. Claus much younger sister and AT T Mobile there's no trade in needed when you switch, so you can.

[Bert Show Host]

Keep your old phone or give it as a gift.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

And the best part? You can make the switch to T mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes.

[Bert Show Host]

Nice. My side of the tree is slipping. Kimber. The holidays are better. AT T Mobile switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us with no trade and needed. And now T Mobile is available in US cellular stores with 24 monthly bill credits for well qualified customers plus tax and 35 device connection charge credit sending balance too. If you pay off earlier, cancel financing agreements. 256 gigs830 eligible for in a new line 100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes fees required. Check out 15 minutes or less per line. Visit t mobile.com looking for a last minute gift for your people? You know your people, that weird bunch of friends and family that you love dearly. Well, here's an easy idea. Oregon Lottery Holiday Scratch. It's because your people, they're the ones that amidst all the holiday crowds and endless notifications, help you find the fun. Which calls for a little gift that brings big cheer. Oregon Lottery Holiday Scratchets. You know where to find them. Grab some today must be 18 or older to play lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only. Want to upskill in one of the most effective ad channels out there? With ACAS Ads Academy, you can learn everything you need to plan and run podcast advertising campaigns completely free. Whether you're new to audio or ready to sharpen your skills, our self paced.

[Caller Lisa]

Courses fit your schedule and finish with.

[Bert Show Host]

An industry recognized certification. So if you want to grow your expertise and stand out in a competitive.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Industry, head to go.acast.com forward/academy.

[Bert Show Host]

I need some honesty. Some Honesty from parents. I want to know if you guys have ever had a true to life, home alone experience. Luckily, it wasn't with my boy Hayden. He's two years old. This was with the dog. This. We went down to Charleston for Thanksgiving and we brought the dog and we met our family down there and everything. And you know that there's this panic that comes over you when you got to hit the road on a day that's a busy travel day around the country, when you know there's going to be other people on the roads, right? You want to get out of there as early as you can, right? So it's like 9 o' clock and we're starting to panic already because we know we're going to hit traffic all the way from Charleston back to Atlanta. So rushing, running around, trying to get the baby, get all the baby stuff, get the dog, get the dog stuff, let the dog out to go to the bathroom before we get in the car. Cause it's gonna be five hours in the car. All right, so we all pile in the car. Finally we get going and we're about 200 yards down the road when I look in the rear view mirror and there's my dog in the middle of the road, like looking back like, how about me, y'?

[Advertiser/Announcer]

All?

[Bert Show Host]

Oh, no.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Poor guy.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

First.

[Bert Show Host]

No, I mean, it was only like, honestly, it was only like 150 yards and I could still see him in the back. But I mean, we were this close to leaving our dog behind in Charleston. So I want to know if. Is there anybody listening that's ever left an animal behind or even worse yet, has honestly ever left the house without your kid. You got on the road and you realized however far you are on the road, oh my God, we forgot our child back at the house.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

Still traumatizing for my sister. Wasn't my parents that did it, but she was on a field trip with like a church group or something. They had two buses and they were at a rest stop like, I mean, hundreds of miles from our hometown and hundreds of miles from the destination. They were going about midway. And one bus thought she was on the other one, vice versa. And so my sister was left at the rest stop and she had to call and they made it to the destination. So the buses didn't come back to pick her up. She had to call my father, who had to drive the hundred or so.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Miles to go pick up my sister.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

At the rest stop. And she sat in the, you know, the patrolman's office of that rest area and had and sat and watched TV for a couple hours till my father was able to get there.

[Bert Show Host]

They were gone hours before he realized it.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

Well, yeah. Yeah. And unreal.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

404-741-1005 I witnessed this last week at. I. I work at a restaurant in addition to this job. And on Friday, Black Friday at the mall. This family came in. There was about a party. It was a party of 18, and they had, like, nine kids with them. Halfway through the meal, somebody said, well, what did. What a little Tommy order? And everybody looks around. Where's little Tommy? They had left him at another mall when they had gone to get pictures with Santa.

[Bert Show Host]

Oh, God.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

They left him at the mall on Black Friday where all the people are. And they didn't realize it till halfway through the meal.

[Bert Show Host]

Oh, no. So they went. They drove to another mall, went in the mall, went up to have a meal, and then halfway through the meal.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

They realized that little Tommy.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

I mean, it's not funny, but it's. I'm assuming he's okay.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

First thing I did was laugh. I felt bad. But they found him. Everything was fine. He was sitting at the fountain just waiting for them.

[Bert Show Host]

Panic, man.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Poor kid. He was like 8 years old. I know. It was sad.

[Bert Show Host]

Good morning. You're on the Burt Show.

[Caller Lisa]

I had two kids at the time and an infant. And we were driving from Vermont to Houston, and we had two vehicles, and my husband and I were switching the kids, the boys off between cars because of entertainment purposes. And we pulled into a gas station and the boys were arguing about who was going to go with who. And I thought we had it all cleared up and we're driving down the road. My husband thought that my middle son, Nathan, who was 2 at the time, was in my car. I thought he was in his car. He was in the gas station about four miles back. I looked up and I saw in the truck that there was only one little boyhead. And so I started flashing the lights. Husband didn't see it. Ended up having to honk, pull over and run up there. And there's no child in the car. There's only one little boy.

[Bert Show Host]

Oh, the panic.

[Caller Lisa]

He's back there with those people. You know, those gas stations on the side of the road when you're traveling in the middle of nowhere where the people have no teeth.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Gas station people, yes.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

That sit in the chairs, leaned up against the outside wall and whittle.

[Caller Lisa]

Just look on his face. It was absolutely horrible.

[Bert Show Host]

It would take years to start laughing about it because you're probably so freaked Out.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

But it's the two car thing. The same with my sister. I mean, like, yeah, if you. Yeah. And you're in a rush, just like Bert said, if you're in a rush to get back on the road and you have two cars, man.

[Bert Show Host]

Good morning. All the hits. Q100.

[Caller Lisa]

This is Lauren. I had an experience like this once. It was actually my best friend's parents. We had gone out to Colorado on a family vacation and we had stopped at a gas station and go to the bathroom, and they left her in the bathroom. And we had the two car thing again with the CB radios. And we get about 100 miles down the road and they look at me and they're like, where's Brandi? And I was like, I don't know. I thought she was in the other car. And they radioed the other car and she's not there. And then they have to figure out what gas station it was that they had left her at. 100 miles back down the road.

[Bert Show Host]

Yeah, it's the two car thing. The two car theory again.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

Miscommunication between cars.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

That's breaker 190. Got a little dumpling in there with you.

[Bert Show Host]

Morning. All the hits q100.

[Caller Lisa]

Hello. Hey. This did not happen directly to me, but my very best friend gave birth to my godson in New Jersey in January. So when he was approximately two months old, she was getting him ready to take him for his doctor checkup, whatever thingy, and she got the car all ready, had him in the little carrier thing, goes outside, sets him up on the hood of the car, gets the feet ready, everything. Or on the roof of the car, rather. Gets in the car, puts on her seatbelt, cranks it up, puts it in reverse and turns around to look out the back windshield and realizes that he's not in the backseat.

[Bert Show Host]

Oh, my God.

[Caller Lisa]

She left him on the roof of the car in the carrier.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Oh, my gosh.

[Caller Lisa]

Needless to say, that's how we gave her the nickname Ding Dong, because she is completely dingy.

[Bert Show Host]

You'd be completely panicked as a parent. You'd be like, what kind of parent am I? You know?

[Caller Lisa]

Exactly. And in New Jersey in January. Can you imagine?

[Bert Show Host]

Nicole's on the hood. Nicole's on the hood of a car.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Oh, my God.

[Bert Show Host]

Oh, God.

Thank you.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

That'll happen.

Thank God she didn't drive off. That's like, what was. What's the Jack, Jackass, Punks or whatever. Yeah, they do. They did one of those where they had a fake baby on the top of the roof. But, oh, My God.

[Bert Show Host]

People were trying to flag down the car, and they were yelling at the guy. Good morning, Jennifer. You're on the Bert Show.

[Caller Lisa]

Hi. How are you doing?

[Bert Show Host]

All right, thank you.

[Caller Lisa]

Good. Well, when I was 16, I took a trip with my Spanish class to Spain. Madrid, Spain. And on the way back, we were all supposed to meet the taxis downstairs, and I was stuck in the. I was in the room packing, and I went down and all the taxis were gone. They'd already taken off to the airport.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

Now, did they leave Spain without you?

[Caller Lisa]

No, they were at the airport, and my teacher, he realized that I wasn't there. They also wanted to.

[Bert Show Host]

Damn lucky they didn't leave Spain without you.

[Caller Lisa]

I hardly had any money left.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

All these youth group trips, this will make you never want to be a chaperone on one of those things.

[Female Co-host/Caller]

Well, you just have to really be careful, because if there is more than one vehicle, you just assume. If you don't see them, they're in the other car and they're not. They're somewhere else.

[Bert Show Host]

Joyce, last call. Thank you for calling.

Hi.

[Caller Lisa]

How are you this morning?

[Bert Show Host]

Good, thank you.

[Caller Lisa]

Parents went to a party and laid me on the bed, and everyone proceeded to lay their coats on me. And they had a little too much to drink, went home and had to call them and say, you forgot your baby.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

As people started to pick up their coats, they're like, there's a baby under here, right?

[Caller Lisa]

All the time.

[Male Co-host/Caller]

Who's the first moron that threw their coat over you?

[Caller Lisa]

I have no idea.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

God, that's great.

[Bert Show Host]

Hey, the bird show.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Guys. Thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree.

[Bert Show Host]

Zoe. This thing weighs a ton. Drew Ski, live with your legs, man.

Santa. Santa, did you get my letter?

He's talking to you, Bridges. I'm not.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

Of course he did.

[Bert Show Host]

Right, Santa, you know my elf, Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list. And elf, I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17. And at T Mobile, you can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. Right, Mrs. Claus?

[Advertiser/Announcer]

I'm Mrs. Claus's much younger sister, and AT T Mobile, there's no trade in needed when you switch, so you can.

[Bert Show Host]

Keep your old phone or give it as a gift.

[Advertiser/Announcer]

And the best part, you can make the switch to T mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes.

[Bert Show Host]

Guys, my side of the tree is slipping. Kimber, the holidays are better. AT T Mobile, switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us with no trade in needed. And now T mobile is available in US cellular stores. With 24 month legal credits for well qualified customers plus tax and $35 vice connection charge credits and imbalance due if you pay off earlier. Cancel financing 256 gauge $830 eligible board in a new line 100 plus a month plan without our payments, taxes and fees required. Check out 15 minutes or less per line. Visit t mobile.com looking for a last minute gift for your people? You know your people, that weird bunch of friends and family that you love dearly? Well, here's an easy idea. Oregon Lottery Holiday Scratch. It's because your people, they're the ones that, amidst all the holiday crowds and endless notifications, help you find the fun. Which calls for a little gift that brings big cheer. Oregon Lottery Holiday Scratchets. You know where to find them. Grab some today. Must be 18 or older to play. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only.