The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Monday, December 29 [Vault]

Episode Date: December 29, 2025
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting / The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & others)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into real-life relationship drama with a listener calling in for advice on a complicated betrayal involving her husband and his (their) best friend. The cast and listeners weigh in on issues of trust, boundaries, and how alcohol can influence honest confessions. The latter half of the episode switches gears into funny and alarming "Home Alone" stories, where parents (and some listeners) recount moments when loved ones—kids and pets—were mistakenly left behind. The tone ranges from compassionate and serious during the relationship dilemma to light-hearted and self-deprecating during the parenting mishaps segment.

Key Segments & Insights

1. Listener Drama: The Husband, The Best Friend & The Confession

[00:58 – 16:48]

The Dilemma Unpacked

• Lisa, a listener, shares:
  • Married to her husband for two years, together for six before that.
  • Both husband and Lisa share a mutual best guy friend (also the best man at their wedding), inseparable for years, never any prior romantic indication.
  • During a recent birthday night out, the friend became intoxicated, confessed his long-standing love for Lisa, said he always compared every woman to her, and claimed he "should have been" with Lisa.
  • The incident ended with the friend refusing to let Lisa leave the car until he kissed her forehead (she protested), with her husband coming to the car and Lisa disclosing everything immediately.

Notable Quotes

• Lisa on the betrayal:

  “It’s hard to kind of have a guy friend who won’t ever hit on you... he was somebody who never, ever hit on me whatsoever.” (02:46)

• Bert on the friend’s confession:

  “Let’s just say something crazy... that you end up falling in love with the best friend. Now, I want to put you in the situation of your husband telling his friends why he lost his wife... they're all gonna go, you’re a moron for keeping the guy around in the first place.” (07:40)

• Co-host’s skepticism about the husband’s reaction:

  “He just keeps telling me to get over it. I’m overreacting. He just had too much to drink... I don’t believe that.” (06:25)

Key Questions Raised

• Should Lisa trust her gut reaction (discomfort, avoidance of friend), or is her husband’s dismissiveness valid?
• Is it "normal" for men to brush off such a confession as drunken nonsense?
• Should Lisa (and her husband) confront the friend, and if so, how?

Bert Show Team & Caller Advice

• Hosts and callers express:
  • The friend’s lack of prior girlfriends and his constant presence is, in hindsight, suspicious (04:10+).
  • Most agree: Alcohol "lowers inhibitions," it doesn't manufacture new feelings ("Your true feelings are coming out" – Bert, 10:39).
  • Husband’s reaction—downplaying the situation—is unusual and troubling.
  • Several suggest Lisa and her husband confront the friend together, as a united front, but that the husband's priority should be Lisa's feeling of safety.
  • Lisa should be honest with her husband about her discomfort, insist that boundaries be respected, and if necessary, step back from the friendship permanently.

Memorable Analogies and Pop Culture References

• Co-host references the "Love Actually" unrequited love storyline (15:09) to express sympathy for the friend’s feelings, but maintains that boundaries are now necessary.

2. Parenting Fails & Home Alone Mishaps

[19:58 – 27:43]

Host’s Story

• Bert:
  Tells a story where he, his family, and their dog are frantically packing up after Thanksgiving in Charleston.

  “We were about 200 yards down the road when I look in the rearview mirror and there’s my dog in the middle of the road, looking at me like, ‘How about me, y’all?’” (20:59)

• Uses this to prompt listeners: have you ever left a kid or pet behind by accident?

Funny and Harrowing Listener Calls

• Field Trip Gone Wrong:
  A caller’s sister was left at a highway rest stop on a field trip because each of two buses thought she was with the other (21:53).
• Mall Mix-Up:
  Large family leaves an 8-year-old at the mall on Black Friday, realizes at lunch that someone’s missing (22:52).
• Gas Station Confusion:
  A mom and dad each think their young son is in the other car—to find out, four miles into their trip, that he’s been left behind at a remote gas station (23:49).
• Baby Left on Car Roof:
  New mother, prepping for a winter doctor’s visit, sets her baby (in carrier) on the roof of the car, almost drives away before realizing (25:40).
• Coats on the Baby:
  During a party, caller was a baby and had coats piled on top of her, parents went home without her (27:16).

Notable Quotes

• Bert, laughing at the near-miss to leave the dog:

  “We were this close to leaving our dog behind in Charleston.” (21:02)

• Caller on her baby nickname, after nearly driving off without her child:

  “Needless to say, that’s how we gave her the nickname Ding Dong, because she is completely dingy.” (25:45)

• Co-host, commiserating with parents:

  “If there is more than one vehicle, you just assume if you don't see them, they're in the other car. And they're not. They're somewhere else.” (27:09)

Timestamps of Key Segments

• [00:58] – Lisa introduces her dilemma with her husband’s best friend
• [03:39] – Friend’s love confession detailed
• [05:03] – The "kiss on the forehead" and husband’s discovery
• [06:25] – Lisa questions if her husband's response is “normal”
• [10:39] – Bert: “Your true feelings are coming out [when drunk].”
• [15:09] – Pop culture analogy to "Love Actually"
• [16:10] – Advice on confronting the friend as a united front
• [19:58] – Start of “Home Alone”/Parenting mishaps segment
• [20:59] – Bert’s “forgot the dog” story
• [21:53] – Listener: Sister left at rest stop
• [22:50] – Little Tommy left at mall
• [23:49] – Gas station: son left behind
• [25:40] – Baby left on roof of car
• [27:16] – Baby under coats at a party

Conclusion & Takeaways

• Relationship Segment:
  The cast and listeners universally agree: alcohol reveals underlying truths; trust and boundaries matter deeply in friendships that straddle genders; and partners should prioritize each other's feelings of safety and discomfort above all. The husband's dismissive stance is almost unanimously criticized.

• Parenting Mishap Segment:
  The second half is punctuated with relatably hilarious and heart-stopping stories of forgetfulness under pressure—reminding parents everywhere that mistakes can happen, but they're usually survivable and, in time, become funny family stories.

Memorable Moment

• Bert’s summation on the “drunk confession” phenomenon:

  “If Jen and I or Melissa and I go out and we get really drunk, at no point in the night am I gonna say to them, I have always loved you, because I don't.” (10:39)

Tone:
Fast-paced, friendly, honest, occasionally irreverent, always empathetic—typical of The Bert Show’s trademark “real and funny” brand.

For Listeners Who Missed It:

• You’ll get validation if you believe drunken confessions matter.
• You’ll laugh as the parenting segment turns classic #fail stories into communal comfort.
• If you have ever worried about boundaries in close friendships, or doubted your worth as a multi-tasking parent, this is your “you’re not alone” reminder.