The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Monday, February 16 (2026)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show is a classic blend of humor, real-life dilemmas, and listener interaction. The three main segments of the show cover:

1. An elaborate plan to find a wife for listener Trey, sparked by his friend Joel, who preemptively sent out wedding save-the-dates.
2. A lively discussion on open marriages, using Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's relationship as the jumping-off point, with listeners sharing their own experiences.
3. A workplace debate about whether to hire the more attractive or more qualified receptionist, with calls and candid crew commentary.

Below is a detailed, time-stamped summary highlighting key moments, memorable quotes, and core discussions.

1. Trey’s “Save-the-Date” Bachelor Quest

Segment Start: 01:15

Premise

Trey’s best friend, Joel, is tired of hearing Trey claim “this is the year” he’ll get married. To force his hand, Joel sends out save-the-date wedding invites – for a wedding Trey hasn’t even set up (much less a bride for!).

Key Discussion Points:

• Joel’s Intervention:
  Joel signs Trey up for multiple dating websites and organizes a pseudo-“Bachelor” competition, involving screening and matchmaking. Joel jokes:

  “I’ve signed him up on Facebook, MySpace, Match.com, eHarmony, all of them.” (02:02)

• Trey’s Character:
  Joel describes Trey as the life of the party, the guy who’d be “twelve rows deep in a costume, wasted at 9 AM” at his kid’s game.

  “He’s a handful... It’s going to take a certain type of person.” (02:24)

• Trey Responds on Air:
  Having only just learned about the grand plan, Trey takes it in stride:

  “I guess it’s kind of escalated to this... No more procrastinating.” (06:26)
  He sets January 17 as his wedding date, under the show's supervision.

• Show Commitment:
  The cast debates if they have the attention span to follow this six-month-long story. Ultimately, they’re in, joking about who’ll play what role in the Vegas wedding.

  Host: “Does it have enough legs for six months, y’all?” (13:03)

• Women Call In Immediately:
  Amy, 33 and divorced, is one of several potential matches, intrigued by Trey’s humor:

  “I love hanging out with people who make me laugh... that’s what has piqued my interest.” (10:44)

• Criteria for Trey's Partner:
  Trey says he’s open:

  “I’m not particular. Just someone I can get along with, think chemistry.” (08:27)

Notable & Memorable Moments

• The “Bachelor”-style pitch for vetting possible brides.
• Joking about Trey's “chemistry over age” and his willingness to trust the process.
• Bert Show hosts discussing being groomsmen, bridesmaids, and officiants (“I’m an ordained minister, so actually…” – Jeff, 14:01).

2. Open Marriages and Relationship Boundaries

Segment Start: 15:45

Premise

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith reveal their open marriage agreement. The team unpacks the logic, psychology, and awkwardness that might result, transitioning smoothly into candid listener calls.

Key Discussion Points:

• Will & Jada’s Arrangement:

  “You don’t avoid what’s now... if it came down to it, then one would say to the other, look, I need to have sex with somebody and now I’m going to, and I’m not going to if you don’t approve of it.” (15:45, quoting Will Smith)

• Psychological Theory:
  Host speculates that having permission removes the temptation:

  “So the theory here is that if you offer [freedom], they never actually take you up on it.” (17:13)

• Parallel with Parenting & Boundaries:
  Jeff draws parallels with relaxed parenting about cursing, reducing allure through transparency.

• Listener Stories:
  Callers share their own “open” arrangements:

  • Caller #1: Approval for outside partners is required, but he’s never taken the opportunity because “it would still feel like I was cheating.” (21:37)
  • Caller #2: His wife gave him a “free one night stand card,” which he declined.

    “I gave it back to her because I care too much about her.” (22:35)

  • Caller #3: Had a list of approved women, acted on it once, but in hindsight regrets it.

    “At the time, yeah. But no, not now.” (26:31)

• Reflections on Gender & Double-Standards:
  The show notes most men don’t act on the “free pass,” questioning whether the offer in itself is a psychological deterrent.

Memorable Quotes

• “If you cheated or if you slept with somebody else, would you really tell your wife beforehand?”
  “Of course. She’s gonna find out anyway.” (21:49)
• “The bottom line is that you feel freer... temptation is not there anymore because you got the green light.” (22:01)
• “You just have to be careful about the offers that you make, right?” (28:04)

3. Receptionist Hiring Debate: Looks vs. Qualifications

Segment Start: 29:15

Premise

A listener email sets the cast into a debate: Should a company hire a more attractive receptionist with a good resume, or a more qualified but less attractive candidate?

Key Discussion Points:

• First Impressions:

  Jen: “That is your first impression... whether that’s a doctor’s office or a retail store, wherever it is.” (31:27)

• Industry Expectations:
  Stephanie, a caller who works in promotional staffing:

  “One of the qualifications is that you have to be an attractive person because what you look like is the first thing that people see.” (34:42)

• Image & Professionalism:
  The group discusses “polish” versus natural attractiveness; Jen and Katie (caller) agree grooming and presentation matter even more than innate looks.

• Discrimination Both Ways:
  Attractive Hannah shares that her looks sometimes make employers doubt her competence, forcing her to “dress down” at interviews:

  “Sometimes it’s hard to get the job even when you’re pretty or when you’re not pretty.” (38:29)

• Societal Critique:
  Amy, disappointed with the societal focus on looks asks:

  “Where are unattractive people supposed to go?” (41:14)

• Final Thoughts:
  Most cast agree that for a receptionist, looks/presentation may outweigh a minor gap in experience given the public-facing nature of the job, but presentation can be improved by anyone with the right effort.

Notable Quotes

• “Better looking people are better.” – Jeff, sarcastically (43:47)
• “It’s not necessarily who’s naturally more attractive... it’s just who presents themself the best and who can handle the job.” – Jen (43:10)

Episode Highlights & Tone

• Fast-paced, witty banter with a classic morning radio vibe: playful, honest, sometimes irreverent.
• Willingness to tackle awkward and nuanced relationship and workplace realities.
• Encouragement of callers to share personal stories, creating a sense of shared experience and authenticity.
• Showcases the everyday struggles and decisions facing real people, from dating to marriage to workplace dilemmas.

Memorable Closing Moment:

• Recurring jokes about who will play what role in Trey’s hypothetical Vegas wedding, ending with:

  “Better looking people are better.” (43:47)

Key Timestamps

• 01:15: Trey’s “Bachelor” plan introduced
• 04:43: Trey goes on-air, surprised and game for the wedding mission
• 10:44: Caller Amy expresses interest in Trey
• 15:45: Will & Jada’s open marriage sparks debate
• 22:01–27:48: Multiple callers share perspectives on open marriage “free passes”
• 29:15: Listener email about hiring a receptionist kicks off the looks-vs-qualifications debate
• 34:42: Staffing industry perspective on appearance and hiring
• 38:29: Attractive caller Hannah describes “dressing down” for interviews
• 41:14: Caller Amy questions the fairness of beauty standards in hiring
• 43:10–43:47: Hosts reluctantly agree they'd probably hire the more attractive candidate for a receptionist

Overall, The Bert Show delivers on its promise: honest, funny, and oh-so-relatable. Whether orchestrating a wedding for a bachelor or unpacking open marriage taboos and workplace biases, the crew never shies from real talk—or a good laugh.