Full Show PT 3: Monday, March 30 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Monday, March 30 [Vault]

Aired: March 30, 2026
Main Hosts: The Bert Show cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & Co.)
Featured Guest: Lady Gaga

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show is a lively, unscripted mix of celebrity interviews, cultural commentary, and comedic debates. The main highlight is an energetic and open interview with Lady Gaga, who shares her journey, creative process, and personal philosophies. The team also dives into entertaining offbeat topics like "Things Men Over 30 Shouldn’t Do" and eye-popping stories of "objectum sexuality" (people in romantic relationships with objects), all delivered with The Bert Show’s trademark humor and authenticity.

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Key Sections & Discussion Points

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1. Lady Gaga Interview: Candid, Bold, and Purposeful Artistry

[01:04 – 18:34]

The Real Lady Gaga: Hustle, Style, and Obsession

• Arriving from Tour: Gaga opens up about life on the road and sleeping in fishnets, highlighting the grind of touring life.

  "We got right on the bus from the show. I fell asleep in my fishnets... rolled off the bus this morning.” — Lady Gaga, [01:49]

• Work Ethic & Origins: She attributes her discipline and fearlessness to her early days hustling in New York, playing shows, go-go dancing to fund demos, and relentlessly self-promoting.

  “I was so fearless and wanted it so bad. And now it’s great because I get to do what I love every day... whenever I get on that stage and see those fans, it’s like, bang. It’s like eight cups of coffee.” — Lady Gaga, [02:23]

• Creative Control & Perfectionism: Gaga insists on being hands-on, describing herself as "bossy" but purpose-driven in her art.

  “You could say I’m a control freak or you could just say that I’m not a lazy pop singer.” — Lady Gaga, [04:26]
  “I spend every dollar that I make on iTunes... on my music and my show because I don’t care about buying fancy cars and condominiums.” — Lady Gaga, [04:32]

• Conflict with Label Conventions: She notes her rare creative freedom and trust with her label (Interscope), contrasting herself with artists who are more controlled by their record companies.

  “The label showed up, and they said, all right, Gaga, let’s see what you did. Right as it went to air… but they trust me… Listen, I’m not trying to teach Picasso to America, I just want to do something different.” — Lady Gaga, [06:02]

Building Her Show and Identity

• Indulgent Purchase: Her first “selfish” spend was on a custom-built bubble piano, a creative piece for her show.

  “That bubble piano—when I told everyone how much that piano costs before I built it, they were like, you are on drugs.” — Lady Gaga, [07:05]

• Loyalty to Her Roots: Gaga recounts returning to NYC’s Lower East Side and how her local community has celebrated her ascent rather than shunned her.

  “I went home and I was welcomed with open arms by my friends... it’s a new story and a new vibe.” — Lady Gaga, [08:12]

Art vs. Criticism

• Not ‘Selling Out’ to Pop: Gaga’s move into pop was intentionally radical for the downtown music scene.

  “Pop is like the antithesis of all things cool… what if I did a pop show that these rock and roll kids would want to go see?” — Lady Gaga, [09:06]

• Dealing with Hate: Candidly, she embraces criticisms and isn’t apologetic for her bold persona.

  “A lot of it’s true, the negative things that they say. They say I’m pretentious, and I am… They say that I’m disgusting, and I’m quite disgusting, and I’m okay with that.” — Lady Gaga, [10:39]

Responding to Detractors (Spencer Pratt Drama)

• Grace Under Critique: When played a segment of Spencer Pratt critiquing her (“if you dress like a fool…”), Gaga remains poised and dismisses the drama with optimism.

  “He’s entitled to his opinion… If I cared about what Spencer Pratt thought about my fashion... I would be foolish.” — Lady Gaga, [13:41–14:17]
  “You have to empower people in your life that you know will teach you things. You have to stay focused on those people close to you that believe in what you do.” — Lady Gaga, [14:17]

Fan Connection & Public Perception

• Emotion with Fans: Gaga gets candid about tearful moments and gratitude for her audience.

  "I love my fans so much. You don’t even—I cry on stage like a child." — Lady Gaga, [15:01]

• Challenging Stereotypes: Dismisses the idea that she must be a self-destructive rock star and reinforces her dedication to her craft.

  “It is much more important to me to do a good job and have a great show than to have a bunch of models at a table in a nightclub. I’m just not that girl.” — Lady Gaga, [15:33]

Notable Light Moments

• Learning to Walk in Stilettos: Gaga credits bar dancing for her ability.

  “It’s a good thing I’ve been dancing on bars for years.” — Lady Gaga, [17:52]

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2. Things Men Over 30 Shouldn’t Do

[19:56 – ~30:18]

A hilarious, rapid-fire conversation inspired by How I Met Your Mother and Esquire magazine’s list of “59 Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30.”

Notable Rules & Quips

• No beer pong, no futons, no ‘Velcro’ wallets after 30.

  “If you’re old enough to go to a bar and you’re like, hey, I got this round. I’m like, excuse me. What was that? Hold on, let me seal it back up…” — Radio Host, [26:05]

• Retire the college gym shorts and old concert/Greek shirts.

• No sideways baseball caps or talking about skateboard tricks.

• Don’t nickname your bong, or “own a bong bigger than your arm.”

• Naming Your Junk:

  “You should not name your unit. And at all. At all.” — Radio Host, [26:50]

• No yelling out “Are you ready to rock?” unless at a concert.

• Don’t hold weekly roommate meetings, make up a personal gang sign, rock the jersey number ‘69’, or wear biker shorts/baggy jeans.

• Eat Oreo cookies in ‘stages’ only in private—never on a date.

• No sunglasses-on-the-back-of-the-head; take the day off for a concert with caution.

(Caller comments and playful banter make this segment a fan favorite for listeners who love the hosts’ chemistry and humor.)

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3. Objectum Sexuality: Loving the Inanimate

[31:50 – 41:43]

A segment that’s part spectacle, part social commentary, The Bert Show dives into the world of "objectum sexuality"—people who are romantically or sexually attracted to objects.

Key Features

• Recap of Good Morning America segment: Introduction to objectum sexuals, people who claim emotional/fetish relationships with things like the Eiffel Tower.

  “When other teenagers were dating each other, I was dating a bridge.” — Erica Ifill, [32:39]

• Notable Case 1: Man in Love with a Volkswagen Beetle
  Edward Smith describes his affection for his car “Vanilla,” and even shares poetry about their relationship.

  "Vanilla beetle of 74, your creamy body I adore. Flesh and metal overwhelm, man and car become one." — Edward Smith, [36:19 & 41:16]

  Show reactions range from shock to disbelief to laughter:

  “If you believe in reincarnation, this guy came back as that car. That’s hell. Oh, what did you do in a previous life?” — Radio Host, [36:55]

• Notable Case 2: Helicopters and Celebrity Vehicles
  Smith claims he had a “relationship” with the Airwolf helicopter from the 1980s TV show:

  “She’s got a sleek sensuous tail that almost looks like a dolphin... In 1991 she crash landed...I was so glad to meet her.” — Edward Smith, [38:13]

• Notable Case 3: Woman Married to the Berlin Wall In a satirical reading, the hosts share a letter from a woman who claims the Berlin Wall is her husband, with dramatic narration about their "marriage."

  “We eventually were married on June 17, 1979. No, you weren’t in Berlin on that day. I took my husband's name. That is Berlin Wall in German, which is my husband's first language.” — Radio Host, [39:48]

Show’s Reactions

• The cast veers between stunned silence and explosive laughter; Lady Gaga herself reacts:

  “I don’t get it.” — Lady Gaga, [41:09]
  “I’m speechless.” — Chumba Casino Announcer, [41:11]

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Memorable Quotes

• Lady Gaga:

  “You could say I’m a control freak, or you could just say that I’m not a lazy pop singer.” [04:26]
  “Pop music is like the antithesis of all things cool… what if I did a pop show that these rock and roll kids would want to go see?” [09:06]
  "A lot of it's true, the negative things that they say. They say I'm pretentious, and I am… They say that I'm disgusting, and I'm quite disgusting, and I'm okay with that." [10:39]
  “I cry on stage like a child.” [15:01]

• Host on Over-30 List:

  “You can’t pull an all-nighter after 30 anymore...crash on a friend’s futon...coin your own nickname. Can’t do that at any age.” [21:12] – [22:13]

• Edward Smith (Car Lover):

  “I must admit—she’s my lover. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.” [35:24]

• Lady Gaga reacting to objectum sexuality:

  “I don't get it.” [41:09]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Start | End | |--------------------------------------------|---------|---------| | Lady Gaga Interview | 01:04 | 18:34 | | Things Men Over 30 Shouldn’t Do | 19:56 | ~30:18 | | Objectum Sexuality (Loving Objects) | 31:50 | 41:43 |

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Tone and Takeaways

• Tone: Playful, irreverent, authentic, occasionally boundary-pushing. The hosts foster a “we’re all friends hanging out” vibe that makes the audience feel included in the banter.
• Lady Gaga: Genuinely open, witty, and bracingly honest about her creativity and self-image.
• Cultural Commentary: Mixes light-hearted debate (the Over-30 list), with a willingness to dive into the offbeat (“objectum sexuality”) while never losing its comedic edge.

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For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

This episode is a classic example of why The Bert Show has such loyal fans: a blend of true celebrity insight (Lady Gaga’s candid interview), deeply relatable debates, and wild, jaw-dropping tales from the corners of pop culture you rarely see elsewhere. It’s equal parts real talk, comic relief, and “wait, did that really happen?”

Transcript

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[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Get it. The Bird Show. What a thing to do.

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

Jen, come on.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

I was trying to be your wingman, Gaga. We're in the halls for the last two hours or whatever and I've been doing a show with these guys for four and a half hours. And you walk in the door and 30 seconds before that she tells me I have some big leaf in my teeth.

[Lady Gaga]

That's not nice.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

It's a setup, man. She could have told me that at 7:30.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

It wasn't a setup.

[Lady Gaga]

Was it a lie or true?

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

No, it was true. He really did have stuff in his teeth. But I didn't see it until just when you were walking in the door.

[Lady Gaga]

But I would say that's very nice of her, isn't it?

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

See?

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Yeah, but she could have told me four hours ago. Now it's stuck in my nail.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

I didn't see it before.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

How are you today?

[Lady Gaga]

I'm all right, thank you very much.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

You just drove in from Florida, huh?

[Lady Gaga]

Yes, we got right on the bus from the show. I fell asleep in my fishnets.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Nice. Okay.

[Lady Gaga]

And then I rolled off the bus this morning.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

That'll leave some good marks.

[Lady Gaga]

Yeah, it's rock and roll.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, we've done. Yeah, we've. I think all girls have done that before. You wake up with the pantyhose marks, but the fishnets, that's extra special.

[Lady Gaga]

You have to.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Is that how is that how your schedule is?

[Lady Gaga]

Yes. And it has been for over a year now, a year and a half.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Is that the one thing that you weren't expecting when you started, you know, like, in the industry? Cause you've been doing music for a while, but now we're talking mainstream stuff.

[Lady Gaga]

Well, actually, to be honest, I was quite disciplined on my own in New York. Yeah. So I used to play shows once or twice a week. And then when I wasn't playing shows, I was hustling record labels or I was doing showcases or I was making flyers, or I used to go, go dance to make extra cash to pay for demos and things. So I always, like, was so fearless and wanted it so bad. And now it's just great because I get to do what I love every day. And of course, I get tired once in a while. I'm a human being. Whenever I get on that stage and I see those fans, it's like, bang.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Lady Gaga]

It's like eight cups of coffee.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Is it easier for you now, actually, than it was when you were in New York doing the whole go, go, moving, hustlin'.

[Lady Gaga]

It's not easy waking up every morning thinking how you can please your fans. I mean, I'm quite obsessive, actually, about the show. And I want everyone to have a good time and leave with vomit on their shirts.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Is that the sign of a good time right there? Nobody leaves the studio until we all

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

have vomit on our shirts.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

That's how we know if it's a

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

good interview or spinach in our teeth.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Right.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Well, you create shock art performances is what it's being called.

[Lady Gaga]

I don't think that it's particularly shocking. I guess it's other people that think it's shocking. It's just. It's a complete visual with the fashion and the dance and the music. That's all meant to represent my lifestyle in New York.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Do you have a stylist, or is this, like, your personal style? Is this the way you always dress?

[Lady Gaga]

This is my personal style.

[IXL Announcer]

I like it.

[Lady Gaga]

And then the show, I design some of the pieces. Some of the other pieces are inspired by other designers or made by other designers. But the overall concept, that's me and the house, which is about five to six young friends of mine. They're all about my age, and we're all really bossy, and we make.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

You labeled yourself as bossy.

[Lady Gaga]

So I'm a little bossy.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

A little bossy or like, do you have to have control of all this? Are you sort of like a control freak?

[Lady Gaga]

You could say I'm a control freak, or you could just say that I'm not a lazy pop singer. I like that.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

I like that. Would people around you, would they label you as high maintenance because you're such a perfectionist?

[Lady Gaga]

No. Well, I am a perfectionist, but I'm not. Something that's very important to me on my team is that everybody is kind to one another. Everybody appreciates one another. Everyone plays a part on that stage, and everybody knows that I like things to be done in a certain methodical way, but it's just because I really care. And to be completely honest, the show is quite complicated. So it's like, if my mannequin is not lit properly with my bubble piano and my bubble dress, it's like, yes, of course. I got upset because I spend every dollar that I make on itunes and everywhere else on my music and my show because I don't care about buying fancy cars and condominiums. So I take it very seriously.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Are you a yeller? If the bubble wreck's not working, are

[Lady Gaga]

you like, I'm not a yeller. The only time I've ever yelled is when my sound is bad. Cause when you're standing in front of 3,000 people and you can't hear yourself. Excuse me.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

That's all right. It's not loud.

[Lady Gaga]

But that is, like, the worst. And I just. That is. You'll just hear me.

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

Why?

[Lady Gaga]

But, you know, I'm not a diva at all. You know, I'm a pop singer who knows how to make a show off both a beer and a champagne budget. So, like, I'm a real chick, and I really love what I do, and it's all about my fans.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Is the rest of the industry. Do you think it's just sort of like it's boring?

[Lady Gaga]

It's not that. It's. I think that there's some really remarkable artists, and I think that there's artists that do care about their show and all those things. But I do think that some artists are perhaps victimized by their labels, and they don't have the relationship that I have with Interscope, which is amazing. I mean, we designed that entire American Idol performance and never told anybody what we were going to do in front of 20 million people. So the label showed up, and they said, all right, Gaga, let's see what you did. Right as it went to air. I mean, as far as they knew, I could have gone on stage with, like, a tampon string strapped on my back saying, happy birthday. They don't know, right? They don't know, but they trust me and they, they trust that my pop sensibilities as well as my abilities as an artist. Listen, I'm not trying to teach Picasso to America. I just want to do something different.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

So it's Lady Gaga on The Birch Show. Q100.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

So what is the most selfish, indulgent thing that you bought with your first check?

[Lady Gaga]

My bubble piano.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Yeah, it all goes back into the

[Lady Gaga]

show, that bubble piano. When I told everyone how much that piano costs before I built it, they were like, you are on drugs.

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

What are you thinking?

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Where do you go to have a bubble piano built? Like, what do you Google search to find that?

[Lady Gaga]

I have very, very smart young friends that are artists. And I just, I say, you know, we sit, we sit down and I say, I want to make a piano entirely inspired by this dress. And I showed them a photo of the Hussein Chilean dress and I said, let's make it light up. And we need to have reflective materials in it so that it produces light when it's on the stage. And that's it. And then we built it.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

That's an artist oriented. That is so cool.

[Lady Gaga]

It's great. But that's like when you say to me, is it easier now? It's not easier because of course all the. My schedule's more difficult, you know, all of that. But what is easier is that when I have a creative dream in my room at night, I can wake up and I can make it a reality.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Now, you were just talking about coming up in the Lower east side in New York City. Is it impossible for you to play there now? Like, do you have like a million groupies who all say, I knew her when?

[Lady Gaga]

No, it's. I went home and I was welcomed with open arms by my friends and they're very cool. It's like I go home and they close the bar down and, you know, I DJ or whatever and it's just like, it's a good time. And we're able to really celebrate the fact that kids all over the world want to be a part of the scene that we created in that neighborhood. And that feels really cool. It's like it's a new story and a new vibe and everybody down there just lives for music and fashion. And it's just. So this is a beautiful thing. I really think all you need is love and art and your friends.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

You know, this picture that you're sort of painting of this club scene and the Lower east side is so different from the pop world that. Did you have any kind of inner struggle at one point going, well, if I do that, if I go into the pop world, I'm sort of. I feel like I'm selling out to myself.

[Lady Gaga]

Actually, it was the opposite.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Yeah.

[Lady Gaga]

I thought to myself, what could I do that would be so radical in this innately radical neighborhood? I could sing pop music. Pop music is like the antithesis of all things cool. If you're a hipster, right? If you're a hipster, it's like, ugh, the industry. And I hate it. And it's plastic, and me and my spikes are gonna deflate your fake boobs. Like, it's so punk, you know? And I thought, what if I did a pop show that these rock and roll kids would want to go see? And it was always my intention to crack the pop market.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Yeah.

[Lady Gaga]

And it was always my intention to give everybody the flu.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Did anybody along the way go, look, you're just. You're hitting this from the wrong angle. There's just no way that this is going to work.

[Lady Gaga]

Everybody.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Yeah.

[Lady Gaga]

I got dropped from, like, record labels. My parents were, like, saying Hail Marys. You know, everyone was like, this is a little theatrical, but isn't really that what showmanship is all about? You know, some people might really hate me, but I don't think that vanity is a bad thing. I think it's something that can really make you know exactly who you are and love yourself. And I want my fans to love themselves.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

You said that there are some people that might hate you. Are you having a tough time at all with any kind of criticisms that have come your way?

[Lady Gaga]

You know, to be perfectly honest, a lot of it's true, the negative things that they say.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Like what?

[Lady Gaga]

Well, they say that I'm pretentious, and I am quite pretentious about my work. And they say that I'm disgusting, and I'm quite disgusting, and I'm okay with that. It's like, I'm not a squeaky clean individual.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Good for you.

[Lady Gaga]

And it's like,

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

what's your definition of disgusting?

[Lady Gaga]

I don't know. I'm just saying, you know, I don't even know what that really means, but when I hear that word, it's not something that I wouldn't necessarily not associate with myself.

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

That's awesome.

[Lady Gaga]

So I'm just kind of like, okay, you know, it's. But I don't think. I think that there would be something very wrong with me and with this whole project and my music if everybody in the world thought that I was like a little doll because I'm a Real girl. I'm a real girl with a very strange name who makes art, and that's it. And I'm sorry that people aren't used to that, but I'm not going anywhere.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

I don't think you're sorry at all. Sorry. Not even a little bit. We had this dude, Spencer Pratt, on with us a couple of days ago. And you know, this is the guy from the Hills, right? Do you know who this dude is?

[Chumba Casino Announcer]

We can say no.

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

You can say no.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, we called it before she came in.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Have you heard of the Hills? It's a show on mtv.

[Lady Gaga]

Of course, yes.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Okay. This guy is. He's the lead dude on the show, and he was on the other day and Wendy had read some comments that he made about you in the tabloids, and she asked him about it. And I want to play you his comments because while you're saying that in some cases you agree with what they're saying. I think in a case like this, you're probably not.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Hold on.

[Lady Gaga]

She's choking.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

She's already gagging on the coffee.

[Lady Gaga]

She hasn't even heard it yet. What's his name?

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

His name is Spencer Pratt, and he's got. His wife, Heidi has just put out her first name. Heidi. Okay, now it's ringing a bell.

[Lady Gaga]

Well, because she sang my song Fashion, she did her own version of it.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

That's where the beef originally started. Because Heidi was supposed to sing this song.

[Lady Gaga]

I wrote this song.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Lady Gaga]

And a long time ago, I wrote it for the Sex and the City movie.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

But he was on with us and

[Chumba Casino Announcer]

he was telling us.

[Lady Gaga]

I was excited when she did it. I thought, oh, God, the reality's television star.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

He thinks that his wife is more talented than Beyonce and Madonna and Britney Spears. So when your name came up, these were the comments that he made about you.

[Spencer Pratt (quoted)]

I just can't get over that she's like, new pop icon of the world. I'm not trying to hate. I like, just dance. It's a good song. You know, Poker Face is a good song, but people acting like she's like the new Britney Spears. It's like Britney's still in the game. So I don't even know why this girl gets so much attention and press, but hey, I guess if you dress like a fool and have crazy, ridiculous haircuts, people start paying attention.

[Lady Gaga]

That's quite a statement to make about his wife, which is very nice of him to say, but I think it's lovely that he's so supportive of her. I mean, I don't to Be perfectly honest. It's like, I don't want to say anything bad about anyone, but I think that when you're an artist or when you're a public figure, you should be a gentleman and be a lady. I don't say bad things about other people, and I don't think that other people should. He's completely entitled to his opinion. And if he thinks I dress foolish, then he thinks I dress foolish. If I cared about what Spencer Pratt thought about my fashion more than I cared about what Jeremy Scott thinks of my fashion, I. I would be foolish.

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

Okay.

[Lady Gaga]

It's like I'm just. The truth of it is, you have to empower people in your life that you know will teach you things. And I have to stay focused on those people close to me that believe in what I do. He's completely entitled to his opinion, and he's completely right in his opinion. And I think it's wonderful that he's so supportive of his wife. You know, I just think it's silly to have, like, beef with people. I'm sure he's very nice.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

You seem like such the rebellious rebel. You don't even. You're not even a good rebel because you're so cool.

[Lady Gaga]

Well, I am. You know, I'm just who I am.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Yeah.

[Lady Gaga]

You know, I'm my music and I'm my show. That's it.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

And it's obviously working because you're sold out here. You're sold out all over the country.

[Lady Gaga]

It's very exciting. Wow. I love my fans so much. You don't even. I cry on stage like a child. Oh, that's cool.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

That's awesome.

[Lady Gaga]

I keep crying.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Lady Gaga on The Birch Show. Q100.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Do people expect you to be like, this hardcore rocker when they first meet you and then they meet you and they're like, this girl has so much confidence in herself. And when she performs, do you get that reaction? Like, people are like, why isn't she, like, tearing stuff up and throwing fits and going crazy because of all this paparazzi attention.

[Lady Gaga]

Oh, you mean, like, why aren't I self destructing? Yeah.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

I think that's what people, like, really first expect.

[Lady Gaga]

Well, I think that what. What the press does is they, in an attempt to humanize artists, try to highlight their flaws, make artists and celebrities look weak because they're in such a position of power. I don't really think I'm all that powerful. I just make music just like, you guys are on the radio. This is my destiny. This is your destiny. So it's like, it's just I think about how you think about things and I don't totally agree with you. I think a lot of people think I'm a ridiculous mess. It's very nice of you to say, and sometimes I am a ridiculous mess, and sometimes I'm not. And it's like at the end of the day, it is much more important to me to do a good job and have great music and a great show than to have a bunch of models at a table in a nightclub. I'm just not that girl.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Can I ask a superficial question? How did you learn to walk in 6 inch stilettos?

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Because I was a burst.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Question. I was just about to ask that.

[Lady Gaga]

Well, I think it's a gift.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

So too.

[Lady Gaga]

But, you know, it's so funny because when I played with the Pussycat Dolls. I'm so sorry.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

You're blowing up.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Oh, that's your alarm. Because that's the same alarm. It's your BlackBerry.

[Lady Gaga]

Just dance. Then you really would have crucified me. When I played with Pussycat Dolls in Europe, I had a much smaller stage in the front of the arena. And one night my creative guy comes to me and he's like, gaga, tonight we can't. We've got to either use your backstrap or. Or your screens. And I said, why? He said, well, if we use both the backdrop and your screens, you're only gonna have three feet of stage. But if you get rid of one of them, you'll have almost four. So I looked at him and I said, I think we should use both. And he goes, but Gaga, how are you gonna dance? And heels on three feet of stage? And I said to him, well, it's a good thing. I've been dancing on bars for years.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Good point. That's part of your destiny.

[Lady Gaga]

And it's true. Don't downplay anything in your life. Cause, you know, maybe I never thought that when I was getting dollar bills shoved in my panties at clubs that it would ever repurpose itself, but it did.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

It's Lady Gaga on the Birch show on Q100. Really enjoyed our time with you. Thank you for hanging out.

[Lady Gaga]

I'm gonna spin my records.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Yeah, we're spinning them every six minutes on this radio show.

[Lady Gaga]

That's very kind. Six minutes every six.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

That's the only thing we play here.

[Lady Gaga]

Atlanta's gonna throw tomatoes at me.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Hey, congratulations on all the success.

[Lady Gaga]

Thank you so much.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

It's around for a while.

[Lady Gaga]

Thank you.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Can't wait for the show.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Well, good luck. It's gonna be a great show and thanks for joining us. We appreciate your time.

[Lady Gaga]

Thank you.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

All right, Lady Gaga. Get it the Bird Show.

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[Mike Barlow]

This is Mike Bolow of Lexicon Valley,

[Bob Garfield]

and I'm Bob Garfield. Are you one of those people who sometimes uses words?

[Mike Barlow]

Do you communicate or acquire information with, you know, language?

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

Hey, us too.

[Bob Garfield]

So join us on Lexicon Valley to chew over the history, culture and and many mysteries of English, plus some lice cracks.

[Mike Barlow]

Find us on one of those apps where people listen to podcasts.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

I'm not a big watcher of How I Met yout Mother, but this was circulating around the Internet a couple of days ago. And this is a scene from that TV show, and it came up about things after 30 you just can't do. And it's a conversation within the show that's based over about five minutes. So it's a little choppy to listen to on the radio, but I think you'll get the gist of what we're looking for here.

[Narrator or Radio Host]

Berta List is something that came into being around the time I turned 30. When we were in our early 20s, every time we had a party, that beer bong came out. And around the time we turned 30, same thing. Of course, in our early 20s, the next day would go like this. But by the time we were 30, the next day would go like this. Then one day I realized there was only one person in the world that I could relate to. Detective Roger Murtaugh, played by Danny glover in the 80s noir masterpiece Lethal Weapon, known for his oft quoted catchphrase, I'm

[Spencer Pratt (quoted)]

too old for this stuff.

[Narrator or Radio Host]

He said, I'm too old for this stuff.

[Mike Barlow]

It's sad to admit, but as you get older, there's just certain things you can't do anymore. That's why I have this list. So I never make the mistake of thinking that I can still pull an all nighter or eat an entire pizza in one sitting. Or hang posters on your wall without frames.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Riggs, I'm too old for that stuff. All right, so they're starting to. They're starting to put a list together right there. You can't pull an all nighter after 30 anymore. Also on the list that we didn't get to, at least on the show, was get ear pierced. If you're a guy after 30, shouldn't do that. Crash on a friend's futon.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Or own a futon.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Or own a futon. I don't even know where you'd go to get one. Do laundry at your mom's house. Oh, my God.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Where was the. Was this from the TV show or has this come up somewhere else? About the unframed posters on the wall.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

That was right on the.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

That was just on the clip.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

On the clip.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

That one's like, no thumbtacks to put up artwork.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

So we'll put the list together. And this is really for guys. Like, if you're doing this after 30, maybe it's time to just reevaluate. And I'll read some of these from Esqu magazine, because a while ago they put together 59 things a man should never do past 30. And there are some good ones on here also. Like. Like coin your own nickname.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Can't do that at any age.

Any age.

[Lady Gaga]

Yeah.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

That's not over 30, Skipper.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Use a wallet that's fastened with Velcro.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

That's true.

What about own a bong?

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

Isn't that such a good vibe? I really have no opinion on that one. Jen.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

The room goes silent for a reason.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Seriously, how about, like, own a bong banger than your arm?

How about just own a bong? How about.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Seriously, you shouldn't have a name for your bong either after 30 in college.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

The eliminator from Beakers or PVC Pipes.

Or there's some people.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

You should get yourself a professional one if you're gonna have one.

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

You've got the money.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Now go get a really nice fancy arty glass one from a festival.

Isabelle, some people in this room have a lot of disclaimers on that one.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Isabelle, give us a little hint here. If a guy over 30 years old is doing this, he could pretty much put himself on the not getting any list.

[Caller or Listener]

He cannot take you to hang out with his friends while they're all playing beer pong. After 30.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Beer pong after 30 has gotta go away. It's a sad day.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

I think there's an exception if you.

What about golden tea?

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

No, I think that's made for people. Golden tea is for older.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Golden tea is where beer.

It's like the replacement for beer pong.

Yeah.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Beer pongers sticking with the beer pong and sticking with the bong. Beer bonging after 30 is on this list.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

What is that?

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Oh, like funneling. Oh, yeah.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

No.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Good morning, Heather. You are on Q100.

[Caller or Listener]

Good morning. I don't think guys over 30 should hang on to the old concert shirts. I think they should give those up.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Or Greek letter shirts.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Yes. At some point you do have to let those.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Now if they go to the concert though, like on Tuesday night.

I know you're proud that you were in SAE back in the day, but it doesn't mean anything when you're 30.

I would much rather see a guy in a concert shirt than that. Or their old gym shorts. If they decide that for some reason. Because guys for some reason will hang on to those gym shorts.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

The one where one of those things is going to escape and you're not going to know.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

It's going to be a little breezy. Yeah. I don't know why you hold on to those.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Good morning, Q100. Hey, Martha.

[Caller or Listener]

Hey, good morning. How are you guys?

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Good things that guys over 30 just can't pull off anymore.

[Caller or Listener]

Okay. If you're not physically active, playing sports like you're in the high school championship is not a good idea.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

We talked about this guy. The softballers that are taking it way too hardcore. Agree.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Kickballers.

Come on.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Dodgeball. No sex this week. I've got a dodgeball championship on Saturday and I need to be focused.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

If you are holding practices for your

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

kick tournament, just go to the bar. You're just holding the focus so you can get.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

How about this? And we'll. We'll put the. The exception will be on anyone who's getting paid for it. But like wear full uniforms to participate in a sporting event.

Yeah.

Like if you're in a recreational fast pitch softball league and you're wearing the spikes, the pants, the cup, the shirt and the hat.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

The little stirrups. Yeah, right there. And you've got your batting glove.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Right? Your lucky glove.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Your lucky batting glove there. Yeah, that's another.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

How about have a trunk? Unless you're coaching your kids having a trunk with a bat bag in it.

Well, a trunk full of all exercise equipment.

Like you open it up and there's

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

like, I do have a bat bag. I'm guilty of that.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

How many bats do you have in it?

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Like, four. And I justify it because I think, oh, well, there's gonna be some people that show up to the field that

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

don't have a bat.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

But these are ones I've had since Little League. I just can't let them go.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

There's one Wiffle bat in there.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Hey, Judy. Good morning.

[Caller or Listener]

One thing that guys should not do after 30 is wear Velcro fastener tennis shoes.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

And by 30, do you mean 5?

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Anything? Velcro, I think, out the window, right? We're building a reoccurring theme here.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

With Velcro. No, Velcro wallet.

If you're old enough to go to a bar and you're like, hey, I got this round. I'm like, excuse me. What was that? Hold on, let me seal it back up. Good. Now nobody can get into it.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

It says lightning bolt or op on

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

carrying an Ocean Pacific wallet at 40.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Good morning, Amanda. Things a guy over 30 just shouldn't be able to pull off anymore.

[Caller or Listener]

Guys over 30 should not wear a baseball hat sideways or talk about skating skateboard tricks.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, fair enough.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

You can't go to a skateboard park after 30 unless you're there.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Unless you're dropping off your kids, waiting

for your kid to finish a stunt

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

on the esquire list. Over 30, no hacky sack. You should not name your unit. And at all. At all. But it says his name plus Junior. So, like little Jeff. Jeff Jr.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

That's why. That's why I just stick with thunder.

[Spencer Pratt (quoted)]

Stick.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Shout out a response to. Are you ready to rock?

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Unless you're at a concert. That's fair.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos. Any photo?

[Edward Smith]

No.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Nobody gets them. Right. How about making up your own gang with your own gang signs? Seriously?

You know somebody's made up a gang. Yes, everthirty.

Yes. I can show you pictures of them.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Seriously, what's your gang sign?

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

They live on your favorite. It's like.

You're kidding.

Swear to God. It's this.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

It's like your A. Okay type deal.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

It's. I'll find pictures.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

But it's what it's supposed to spell.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

I don't think it spells anything. I think. I think they just all agreed to do it in a picture once, and now they all do it all the time. And I might be doing it wrong, but they would live on Wendy and Bert's favorite website.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Oh, yeah, Hot chicks with boosh tags.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Yep.

[Lady Gaga]

Love that.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Also on the Esquire list, choose the number 69 as his jersey number. I mean, come on, guys. That is an instant showstopper. If you're with a woman. Come on.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, you shouldn't even be wearing a jersey.

Whoever's on the phone, you agree with all these.

[Caller or Listener]

Yes, If a guy has a jersey

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

with the number 69 on it.

[Caller or Listener]

Also, if you're over 30, you're not in shape. Lose the biker shorts.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

The biker biker shorts. They are just never sexy at all. They're never flattering on anybody.

I would say also the over baggy jeans if you're over 30, like, you can't overdo.

The baggy jeans are the pull down ones that are like, down to like 2 inches below your waist.

Yeah.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Here's one on the Esquire list that I don't agree with. I think you're at any age, this is still okay. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Oh, that's cool. You ever have to let that go?

If you do it, that's okay.

I don't think it applies. If you can do it in private, then I think you're okay. Like an Oreo cookie. Now if you're out, if you're over at, you know, first date, you go over to a girl's house and you're waiting in the kitchen while she goes and freshens up and she comes in and you're trying to make a triple deckle dribble stuff, then I wouldn't blame her for judging you.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

On the Esquire list. Publicly greet friends by shouting, what's up, you whore? Hold his lighter up. At a concert.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Nobody does that anymore. It's all cell phones.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Where Converse All Stars with a tuxedo organize a party bus.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

No, that's okay. Bachelor party or something like that. That's cool. What about dudes who, when they go indoors or whatever, they just put their sunglasses on the back of their head?

Hate that. Don't ever do that.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Nobody should do that.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

The back of your neck also. Whatever. Seriously.

How about take the day off of work for a concert? Jimmy Buffet's here tonight. I'm taking the day off.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

I don't know that I can agree with that one.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

No, I don't know that I can agree with that.

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

There's some things that you should be

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

able to do that are still fun.

I think there's a. I think before 30, you take the day of the concert after and you're hungover the day afterwards.

No, the thing is over 30, you're gonna. It's harder to recover. So okay than you do.

Right. But I'm talking about the day of the show. Hey, Jimmy Buffett's here. I'm taking the day off.

[Narrator]

Tailgating at noon.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

What's up, Parenthood?

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

You're on the Birch Show. Tyler redick here from 2311 Racing. Another checkered flag for the books. Time to celebrate with Chumba. Jump [e-mail] let's Chumba.

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[Alex Canceroitz]

Hi, this is Alex Canceroitz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on air contributor to cnbc. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

[Mike Barlow]

This is Mike Barlow and of Lexicon

[Bob Garfield]

Valley, and I'm Bob Garfield. Are you one of those people who sometimes uses words?

[Mike Barlow]

Do you communicate or acquire information with, you know, language?

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

Hey, us too.

[Bob Garfield]

So join us on Lexicon Valley to chew over the history, culture and many mysteries of English, plus some rice cracks.

[Mike Barlow]

Find us on one of those apps where people listen to to podcasts.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

And if you have kids in the car, we say that after 8:30 is more the adult show right here. So you definitely do not want your kids listening to this part right here.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

We just don't want to explain it because it's almost inexplicable for adults to hear.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Yeah, we almost can't. We can't figure this out either. But if you missed it last week, here's a little bit of the Good Morning America segment from last week about people that are attracted to objects. And after we played it, a whole bunch of you guys called, oh, that's tame. You said, oh, no, no, no, no, we can do better than that. But this was the original segment on Good Morning America.

[Narrator]

We all see beauty in objects. The symmetry and sleekness of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

[Erica Ifill]

Her structure is just amazing. It's a stark beauty with angles and curves, this contrast.

[Narrator]

But what if the beauty we saw in objects were something much deeper, like True love.

[Erica Ifill]

When other teenagers were dating each other, I was dating a bridge.

[Narrator]

36 year old Erica Ifill is part of a small group of people who call themselves objectum sexuals or os, where their intimate life revolves around objects, not people.

[Erica Ifill]

We feel an innate connection to objects. It comes perfectly normal to us to connect on various levels. Emotional, spiritual, and also physical for some.

[Narrator]

She says she didn't choose this life. She was born this way. And while she has normal friendships with humans in her eyes, love lies in objects.

[Erica Ifill]

My intimacy involves a lot with smell and with touch, even with hearing and just my sight.

[Narrator]

We reached out to medical experts.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

I think it's all serious. But yeah, she was attracted to airplanes and bridges and there's an emotional and a physical connection. She's like doing bridges now.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Was this the one with the Eiffel Tower?

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

That's the Eiffel Tower woman.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

She had the commitment ceremony with the

Eiffel Tower and did the Eiffel Tower right on. Somewhere, somehow.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

So you guys tipped us off that there's, there's way more freakier stuff than that. And of course producer Sean knew exactly where to find it.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

You know, Sean sent emails when she was editing this, I think. Did you get copied on him too, Burp where she was freaked out.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Yeah.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

And you know, if you're freaking out Sean, you're doing a good job of freaking.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Producer Sean is quirky, man. I mean, she's quirky, quirky, quirky. So when something like yeah, makes her go, wow, that's weird, you really struck gold. You really struck gold. So here she found this about a guy that is in love with his car in all ways.

[Narrator]

For over 40 years, he had kept his lifestyle a secret, but he now felt that the time was right to explain it to the world. So he headed to Yelm, a small town in the northwestern state of Washington, to meet our first mephile. His name, Edward Smith.

[Edward Smith]

This is vanilla. She's a 74 standard beetle. And I named her Vanilla because it's kind of a sexy, sensuous name.

[Narrator]

Edward has never had an intimate relationship with another human.

[Edward Smith]

There's a certain sense of beauty. Everything about her is very sensuous to me. I enjoy holding her, I enjoy being part of her. And like this, this little area here, she's got like a certain curve to it. It really is perfect. I'll be doing this and it's almost impossible, you know, to resist her.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

He starts kissing.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

What's happening right now, right away.

[Edward Smith]

I must admit, she's my lover.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

What?

[Edward Smith]

I don't Think there's anything wrong with that?

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

What do you mean kissing her?

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

I think he's licking her. I think he's licking the hood of the car.

[Edward Smith]

Innocent affection right there from the beginning. And by the time I turned 13, the famous Corvette Stingray of 63 came out. And that car, oh my God, it was pure sex. It wasn't installed maybe a couple of years later that I got so excited looking at him that I would actually no way incorporate that visual and that fantasy into my master.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Oh, dude, now I really got nasty.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

What did he say?

[Edward Smith]

Vanilla beetle of 74, your creamy body I adore. Flesh and metal overwhelm man and car become one.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

What?

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

This is Myra esque haiku.

[Edward Smith]

When you're parked in my yard where my son sits freed from the light of day and dark I leave my loving seed.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Sell me

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

the car is begging. Put me on Craigslist.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Save me.

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

Somebody stop it. Please. Pass a tire. Somebody scratch me. Only gas should go in my gas tank. Not what he's putting.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

No, he's not. Damn.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

If you believe in reincarnation, this guy came back as that car. That's hell. Oh, what did you do in a previous life?

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

These people are obviously very mentally ill, right?

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

I don't know.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

They've been abused.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

You think? Yeah, I don't know about abuse because remember the last one we played? They said it's not an abusive situation.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

I'm curious though. Most are like him, where they have not been with anything else or anybody else.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

This is, I think, the same dude falling in love with a helicopter.

[Narrator]

I think Edward told us that he wasn't only attracted to cars, he found planes and even helicopters sexually alluring. One of his most intriguing claims was that he had made love to Airwolf, star of the 1980s TV series.

[Edward Smith]

Oh my God, 1986. At the time, it was like a dream. I was pretty much left alone to my own accord. And I just set my tripod up and took a picture of me kissing Erewolf because I figured, oh, why not? That's what I'm there is to pay tribute to her and love on her. And I got away with it. It's over with. It's done. I did it. And I'd be careful about doing that again. I've. I got a bit of common sense left in me. Really carried away. I love them.

[Narrator]

So did Anwolf have any orifices that you could sort of stimulate yourself?

[Edward Smith]

No, no, it's just the, the. The form and curve. She's got a sleek sensuous tail that almost looks like a dolphin. Of course, in 1991. Crash landed, killing all aboard and sounds like it, but she was in the midst of a rescue she destroyed. But I was so good to glad to meet her. Yeah.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

It's like he's widowed.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

I am so glad he wasn't on that plane with that pilot on Sunday because he would have not safely landed that plane.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

It's so freaky. You don't even know how to respond to it. Right.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Wow.

[Lady Gaga]

I mean, whoa.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

I just.

I don't understand the mindset.

I get it.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

This is a woman that married the Berlin Wall. And again, she says, this is my husband. His name's the Berlin Wall and he was born in 1961. And I expect you've heard of him. He's quite a celebrity. He lives in Berlin. She says that she used to live in a pharmacy or work at a pharmacy. Our husband's job was to divide east and West Berlin. He's retired now. She says we've been in love for many years. She writes, I was attracted to him ever since he was born. Yes, he's some years younger than me. But neither of us feels that this age difference matters. True love can easily transcend a few years. It was very much a long distance romance as neither of us likes to travel. She's talking about a wall.

[Radio Co-host or Producer]

The wall can't go anywhere anyway.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

It's not moving.

That makes it easy to pack.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

For much of the time, I had to make do with photos of him and of course, seeing him in newspapers and on television. But the distance between us only served to intensify our feelings for each other. Loco on our wedding. We eventually were married on June 17, 1979. No, you weren't in Berlin on that day. I took my husband's name. That is Berlin Wallen German, which is my husband's first language. Now, we have been together for many years.

[Edward Smith]

Yeah.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

Wonder what he took as a second language.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

We have been together now for many years, spiritually, if not physically. Like every married couple. We have our ups and downs. We've even made it through the terrible disaster of November 1989 when my husband was subjected to frenzied attack by a mob.

[Radio Co-host or Guest]

So she's talking about the dismantling of the burial. Yeah, the big celebration when people took hammers to her husband's.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

And then she writes, but we are still as much in love as the day we first met. We may not have a conventional marriage, obviously, but neither of us cares much for conventions. Ours is a story of two beings in love, our souls entwined for all eternity.

[IXL Announcer]

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[Lady Gaga]

I don't get it.

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[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

I don't. Yeah. It's so freaky. You don't even know how to respond.

[Edward Smith]

Vanilla beetle of 74, your creamy body I adore. Man and car become one.

[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

Listen, it's the vert show.

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[Radio Host (likely 'Bird Show' Host)]

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