Full Show PT 3: Thursday, January 29 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Thursday, January 29 [Vault]

Date: January 29, 2026
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & the entire Bert Show Cast

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Episode Overview

In this episode, The Bert Show delivers a lively mix of serious discussions and humor around two major topics:

1. The ethical, legal, and emotional implications of STI disclosure, centering on a listener’s experience discovering a partner had genital herpes.
2. Listener stories about the revelations and sometimes unexpected outcomes of pre-marital counseling—covering everything from relationship dealbreakers to shocking advice from counselors.

This episode is marked by candid caller stories, spirited banter, and thought-provoking debates, with the hosts and listeners sharing personal experiences, advice, and the occasional burst of laughter.

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Segment 1: The Genital Herpes Disclosure Debate

(00:00 – 11:34)

Background

• Abigail shares her story: She ended a relationship after discovering her boyfriend hid that he had genital herpes, feeling it was “irresponsible” not to disclose this before intimacy.

Key Discussion Points

• Responsibility to Disclose STIs

  • Bert opens: “She was just relaying a story to us ... completely irresponsible of him not to tell her ... I don’t know who could argue with that.” (00:01)
  • The cast concurs that disclosure is a basic expectation in intimate relationships.

• Caller: Jesse’s Perspective

  • Jesse, on a voice disguiser, shares she contracted herpes after five weeks of dating and her boyfriend also did not initially know (due to misdiagnosis).
  • Jesse: “You have to request for a genital herpes test ... they draw blood and you have to give them permission ... I actually talked to his doctor ... that’s the only reason I actually believe it.” (01:10–02:17)

• Morality and Character

  • Abigail (later): “If you continually have relationships with people and you don’t tell them about this ... it’s pretty wrong and pretty immoral ... You’re putting [them at risk] ... It’s something that stays with you for the rest of [your] life.” (03:02–03:56)

• Community Resources/Dating with Herpes

  • Discussion acknowledges people with the condition often seek relationships with others who have it: “There’s a website for people with STDs ... so they don’t have the self-consciousness.” (04:21)

• Transmission Questions

  • Bert: “Do you only catch that when the other person is having an outbreak?” (04:33)
  • The cast admits uncertainty but emphasizes the key issue is honesty.

• Principle of Common Courtesy

  • The group draws a parallel to being considerate with minor illnesses: “If you have something [contagious], you let people know ... Even for a cold, you warn people—you’re supposed to be even more upfront with something chronic.” (04:46–05:56)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert: “If I fall into bed together—‘Oh, you don’t want to go there cause I’ve got genital herpes’—may kill the mood, right?” (05:55–06:00)
• “He’s a serial ... herpist.” (08:48, 10:47)
• On Craigslist exposure: “You can put him up on that do not date list ... I absolutely think it’s justifiable to post something like that online.” (08:41, 10:42)

Legal & Reputational Fallout

• Posting online warnings: Abigail’s ex is featured in a "do-not-date" post.

• Bert: “If he’s done this to you, he’s done this to a slew of other women over the last few years.” (08:54)

• Discussion shifts to whether criminal charges apply and the impact on careers and public reputations.

• Abigail, grateful for the support: “Thank you so much for helping me … Thank god I have [internet] so I can listen to you when I’m traveling.” (11:24–11:33)

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Segment 2: The Surprises and Soul-Searching of Pre-Marital Counseling

(11:34 – 22:22)

Transition

• The show shifts to exploring if pre-marital counseling ever scuttled a relationship or brought up dealbreakers, prompted by Allison’s story—she and her fiancé have set a wedding date and planned everything, but are still pre-engaged while doing counseling.

Key Discussion Points

• Counseling Reveals Incompatibility

  • Stephanie calls: After extensive classes in Germany, a long-planned wedding still ended in divorce soon after—realizing "we had a lot of very different views." (12:16–13:05)
  • The counseling covered family planning, religion (Catholic/Baptist mix), and daily life expectations.

• Insight: Living Together Isn’t Knowing Everything

  • “We lived together for four years ... We kind of thought we knew ... but apparently, we didn’t.” – Stephanie (13:08)
  • Bert: “Fascinating that you lived together for four years ... and [counseling] was almost like the catalyst.” (14:14)

• Identifying Relationship Dynamics

  • Bert shares personal experience with pre-marital tests that highlight personality types—“who the spender is, who the saver is ... you can just identify them before you get into the marriage.” (14:46)

• When Counselors Advise Against Marriage

  • Ann Margaret’s story: Her counselor advised not to marry, based on a single argument about wedding invitations!
    • “She pauses really long and she’s like, honestly, I just don’t think you two need to get married. And we’re, like, both shocked ... We just had an argument about the invitations.” (16:30–16:45)
  • They ignored the advice, married anyway, and report things are “just peachy.” (17:34)
  • Bert: “Maybe her tactic was—that’s how marriages work—to make you so defiant that you prove her wrong.” (17:43)

• Counseling as Gatekeeper

  • Rebecca notes it’s actually “required for Catholics ... they told me 40% of the people that come in end up not getting married by the end of it.” (18:05–18:47)
  • “It is amazing how much you don’t know ... even after six years together, living together for most of it before we got married.” (18:49–19:09)

• Changing Over Time

  • Discussion: Even things you think are settled (like religion/kids) may shift as years go by. (19:47–20:05)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Counseling confrontation: “They basically told me that I was part of a cult religion and that I really had no business marrying a Christian.” – Melissa, a Buddhist engaging in Christian premarital counseling (20:12–20:36)

• “Are you having one of those cultish Buddha weddings?” – Bert, tongue-in-cheek (21:10)

• “I didn’t realize the counselor could, like, be the judge and jury at the end ... This is the first time I’ve heard of counselors actually going, ‘This is never going to work.’” (21:26–21:38)

• On red flags: “He can tell you to keep a budget and talk about the kids ... but eventually enough of those flags go up ... writing’s right here ... just don’t do it.” (22:09–22:22)

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Final Thoughts & Tone

Language & Tone:
The episode is unfiltered, often irreverent, empathetic, and always real. The cast balances sensitivity (especially around health disclosure) with their trademark humor and camaraderie. Listeners’ stories are treated with respect, but there’s a consistent undercurrent of banter and comic relief that defines The Bert Show’s style.

Most Memorable Moments:

• The “serial herpist” joke (10:47–10:50)
• Bert flipping disclosure on its head: “If I fall into bed together—‘Oh, you don’t want to go there cause I’ve got genital herpes’—may kill the mood, right?”
• The shock of counselors bluntly telling couples not to marry after seemingly minor disagreements.

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Key Timestamps

• 00:00–11:34: Stories and debate around STI and genital herpes disclosure—morality, legality, and “outing” partners online.
• 11:34–22:22: Pre-marital counseling stories—unexpected revelations, advice to split, and how relationship dynamics shift.

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This episode shines in blending authenticity with tough topics, offering valuable perspectives on honesty, consent, and the unpredictability of relationships—all with The Bert Show’s signature warmth and wit.

Transcript

[A]

The third show. We have been talking to Abigail here. I'm not even exactly sure what to ask you guys to call in for. I don't even know that Abigail was calling up for advice. She was just relaying a story to us that she'd been going out with this guy for a while, and they've been intimate with each other, and she just thinks it was completely irresponsible of him not to tell her that he had genital herpes before they had any kind of intimate relationship. And I don't know who could argue with that.

[B]

Right? I think, yeah, it's incredibly fit. But maybe it's good to bring up the topic because it is your responsibility. If you do have some kind of chronic condition that you could pass on to someone else, then it is your responsibility to tell them what they're getting into long before the opportunity to pass it on to them. I mean, because that. That is so offensive now.

[A]

What. What Abigail has told us is that she split from the guy. She's like, I don't want any part of this. Too much drama. He wasn't honest with me. We got some people calling up saying, wait, you're being too harsh.

[B]

Because he wants them to stay together, so he's still pursuing her to stay in the relationship.

[A]

Jesse, you're on Q100.

[C]

Hey, Bert, how are you?

[A]

Good. You're on the voice disguiser.

[C]

Awesome. Okay. I didn't want to say that she should stay with him because I think it's really shady that he didn't tell her. But what I was going to tell you is I actually have genital herpes. And I found out after dating my boyfriend for about five weeks, because it takes about five weeks before you get the first outbreak. And we. When I found out, I asked. I went to him and I was like, hey, is there something you didn't tell me? And he was like, no, honey, I promise. You know, And I believed him because, you know, he's a very sincere guy, and he was just as shocked as I was about the whole thing. Turns out he had had his first outbreak, went to the doctor, and they didn't catch it. They didn't test him for that. They just gave him some antibiotics and him on his way.

[D]

So he believe that story. I'll say this. You have to request for a genital herpes test because they draw blood and you have to give them permission to.

[E]

Draw your blood and what.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

I do believe it because I actually talked to his doctor because we went back to get him retested. For it. And he's like, oh, well, we didn't test him for it last time because it didn't look like an actual outbreak. It looked like something else. So we gave him the antibiotic. That's the only reason I actually believe it, because, believe me, I was.

[D]

I was.

[C]

It sounded sketchy to me.

[A]

Is it just like a pimply type deal? Like razor burnish, like a blister?

[C]

It's really. It really sucks, I'll tell you that. And I never wish it upon anybody.

[A]

There's just one.

[C]

And if he didn't. If he had the audacity to go about sleeping with her without, you know, without telling her, that's rude. So definitely you should leave him for that. But I'm just saying to the people who, you know, find out that they have it and then, you know, the person who gave it to you is just genuinely surprised and maybe go talk to their doctors if they said they've been tested before.

[A]

Do you get it?

[D]

19 years. 19 years. In fact. He knew. He knew he had it because he got it from an ex girlfriend that he's actually still friends with. I've met her. And the funny. It's not funny. But the odd thing is, is that he. He was married before and you know, he. Obviously they didn't use protection before they got married. Their marriage lasted 14 months. And when he told her he had it is after she called it from him and had an outbreak. That's horrible. And I think that in itself there's a lot about someone's character and integrity. Now, everybody makes mistakes, you know, and everybody makes poor judgments at times. But if you know, you have something and you continually have relationships with people and you don't tell them about this, it's. It's pretty. Pretty wrong and pretty immoral. And you're putting. It's something that stays with you for the rest of life. Now, had he to told me at the beginning, I could have made an educated decision. I don't know if I would have stayed with him. I don't know if I would have broken up him. That's not why I'm doing it. I'm doing it because he lied and he knew that he had it and he deliberately chose not to tell me, even though we used protection and even that my doctor said it's not 100% because there's a lot of body fluids that are exchanged and just. Even the touching of, you know, the top of your genitals to someone can give that to you.

[B]

Yeah. And I think the Key word you said earlier was criminal. You know, because I do agree with that. My sister had a friend who. Two friends who got married. And one of the reasons that their relationship was strong is because they each had herpes. Like they. They actually started dating.

[A]

Herpes brought them together.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, because there's some people that will only date somebody that has herpes if they have it. So they don't go through this.

[D]

I told him there was a website for people with STDs. He should go on that. Dating website.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, yeah. So they don't have the self consciousness of what they have and have to have that awkward conversation. If they know the other person has it, then that's not an issue.

[A]

Do you only catch that when the other person is having an outbreak? Or as soon as you have sex, you're pretty much. You got it. Do you know?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Do you know, Abigail?

[B]

I'm assuming outbreak, obviously, but I don't.

[A]

Know about the point of this.

[E]

Like, the point we're. So we're debating the herpes and the severity of it and how it's caught and transmitted. Whatever the point of this is, he lied about having it to her. And it's like it's common courtesy if any one of us walks in here, if we come in. Because now we have the rule that if we even have half of a cough, the rule is that we call in sick or be glared at the.

[A]

Entire cause we're in an airtight studio.

[E]

Cause the germs just sit on top of all of us. Like we've, you know, our intern staff, we've sent them home or at least out of the room for being sick. It's common courtesy if you have something where have, you know, where it could spread to someone else. Especially like working with Burt, like if I had a cold.

[B]

But when you French kiss, you need to know, right? Because you often start the morning, though.

[E]

Because then he'll take it home and give it to one of his kids and then it'll be trapped in his house until the kid turns 18.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Well, the difference with this is that some of these are crazy chronic conditions like herpes, where you have it and you will always have it, you know, so much more severe than a cold. And then there are worse STDs that could take your life.

[E]

But that's what I'm saying about the common courtesy is when you have something as insignificant as a cold, if you.

[A]

Come in for a hug for me and I have a cold, I'll say to you, wait, you don't want to do that. I have a cold.

[E]

Exactly.

[B]

If I feel like I fall into bed together. Oh, you don't want to go there because I've got genital herpes.

[A]

But, hey, this may kill the mood, right?

[B]

There's something I gotta show you.

[A]

Good morning, Allison. You're on Q100.

[C]

Hey. Yeah, I have a friend who was recently diagnosed with herpes. And that's kind of like a tragic story in itself. Just because she got it from the guy that she lost her virginity to at a one night stand.

[D]

Oh, no.

[E]

She has been game on since day one.

[C]

And, like, the third person she was with was one of my best male friends. And so he was flipping out and he was just like, oh, God, I might have something. But, like, it turns out that he. She obviously got it from him, and he's claimed that he doesn't have it. He never had it. And she's a whore because she's sleeping around.

[A]

Oh, wow. The very first time.

[C]

And so, like, when she was telling me about it, like, she, like, was like, she's like, well, you are aware that if he gets it, he's probably not going to talk to you anymore. And she's just like, well, what are you saying? He's gonna hate me for the rest of my life. And I was just like, well, yeah, you kind of gave him something uncurable. I mean, that's gonna affect the rest of his life. So you have to understand that even though you didn't do it on purpose, he's gonna be upset about that.

[D]

And she just couldn't take that.

[C]

It, like, slipped out on me, like, screaming, like, I see who my real friends are. I was like, I'm not saying I don't want to talk to you. I'm just saying you can't be mad at him if he doesn't want to talk to you.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Abigail, let me ask you this, because I'm sure you've done the research on it. Have you. Have you found out if you can press charges in a case like this?

[C]

I've.

[D]

I've actually kind of looked around. I didn't contract it from him, but the only thing that I could do is I could go. He. Like I said, he's a dentist, and I wasn't his patient. He had it before he got his license. The only thing I could do is I could possibly report it and I could, you know, file a complaint. I don't want to ruin the guy's career, but I don't want. I think that it's completely unfair that any potential person he would date, he probably wouldn't tell them. And I think. I don't know what it is that can do. In fact, my friend just text messaged me on my Miami cell phone. It just came in after I guess, two hour delay and she said that there's actual posting about him on Craigslist under the general community in Miami. I haven't had a chance to look at it because I'm in the Bahamas and you know, my air card is, you know, my Internet connection is here and there and everywhere. So. But I don't know if that itself is going to fix it. I don't know who would have done that other than the ex girlfriend that, you know, sent me the text message. I mean, this is a recent event, so.

[F]

Wow, you can put him up on that do not date list.

[A]

Yeah, you can. I mean, it sure seems. I know you don't want to ruin the guy's career and everything, but if he's done this to you, he's done this to a slew of other women over the last few years.

[D]

I mean, his first life. She was a lawyer. She quit. It was so devastating to her that she had a mental breakdown because she couldn't believe. And she was South African as well. She couldn't believe that he would risk her. I mean, they took a vow. He would risk on her health and put her. Exposed her and not tell her. And that's not. It's not just like he's. She's the only one. I know, I know at least three people that I said, okay, if you want to even continue trying to move forward. And I kind of tricked him. I said, okay, we can work this out. But there are conditions. Number one, you have to tell everyone you slept with before me that you have genital herpes. They have to have the right to know so they can go get tested.

[E]

Hey, Abigail, they got a picture of him up on Craigslist.

[A]

Yeah, we're all looking at his picture right now up on Craigslist.

[D]

Are you serious?

[A]

Totally serious.

[D]

Has he got black hair?

[A]

He sure does. Kind of a broad guy.

[C]

He's about.

[D]

The funny thing is he told me he was five' eleven. He's not five' eleven. He's barely five' ten. You know, maybe even just five nine.

[E]

But it's gotta be.

[D]

Yeah, he's kind of broad and he's got big arms and you know, he's got kind of a big nose.

[E]

It says man's name no offense, Burt.

[D]

I'm sorry. He's doing nothing.

[A]

Just because you have a big nose doesn't mean you have genital herpes. I just want everybody to know that.

[E]

Hey, Abigail. It said. It gives his name and then it says, a local dentist here in Miami knowingly had genital herpes when he and I engaged in sex. He is a 46 year old man who has had herpes for several years. He waited until after we were broken up to let me know. Now I have it too. In all caps. Beware of this man. It was posted at one o' clock this morning.

[A]

I absolutely think it's justifiable to post something like that online.

[B]

Because he's a serial.

[F]

He's doing it.

[E]

Yeah, he's a serial. Herpist.

[B]

Herpist.

[D]

You know, I think it's okay to post this picture.

[B]

Yeah, Pictures up there.

[A]

I absolutely think it is. Yeah, I really do.

[B]

Well, I.

[F]

Send us the link.

[B]

It is an interesting debate in the future about criminal charges for people who pass on serious illnesses to other people.

[A]

I'd be surprised.

[D]

I know his dental website address.

[A]

Well, you've got plenty to add to that website. I'd be seriously surprised if this wasn't already a court case.

[B]

It has to be, because.

[F]

He'S a repeat offender.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, Abigail, thank you for spending some time with us. Appreciate it.

[D]

Thank you so much for helping me, you guys. I mean, I love your show. You guys are wonderful. And, you know, thank God I have it.

[C]

Sometimes I get an Internet connection so.

[D]

I can listen to you when I'm traveling.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

The Fruit Show. So we were just talking to Allison, who said it's all lined up. Just a formality at this point.

[F]

Yeah, she's gonna get married. They've already got a wedding date. They've got the church book, the reception plan. She's coming to Filene's and getting in a little bit early to find her wedding dress. But they're not officially engaged yet because they're going through some sort of pre engagement counseling.

[A]

So my question is this. Has anybody done the same thing? And then after you met with the counselor or the priest or whatever, you just decided this is never going to work? Just three days ago, we thought we were perfect for each other. And I don't even know who you are. Good morning, Stephanie. You're on Q100.

[D]

Good morning, guys.

[B]

Hey.

[D]

I went through these classes. We actually had our wedding planned in Germany. His family were. They were German. So we had all this planned. Actually went through the classes And I knew immediately, oh my God, this is not, this is never going to fly. So we went ahead and got married and were divorced in eight months.

[F]

So what was it about the counseling that made you feel like this is so not right?

[D]

Well, they take you to, I mean, you go to. I don't even remember exactly where we were. It's been, you know, several, several years ago, but we had to spend the night and you, you sleep in separate rooms and they do like all day classes and they give you all these different tests and just different questions on what you agree on about how to raise family. And it's just a very intense two day thing. And I just knew that we had a lot of very different views, so.

[A]

And none of that was discussed before you went in there?

[D]

Well, I mean, I don't know. We lived together for four years, so we kind of thought we knew when you're someone with someone that long, you think you know what's going on, but sure, apparently we didn't because it didn't. Didn't go over so well.

[F]

So what I'm just curious, like the specifics, like what kind of ways to raise the family? Like, was it like a spanking conversation or was it like a religious difference?

[D]

More religious, I think. Yeah, he was Catholic and I was Baptist, so I was actually going to the convert. And nothing against them, I just, it just wasn't the way I was raised. So it was kind of weird for me and I just kind of freaked out at the end there.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And was it. Could you sort of like slowly feel during the whole sessions that it was slipping away and so there really didn't have to be just one person approaching the other one. You just both sort of knew that this is never going to work.

[D]

Yeah, I think we both knew that. But like I said, we had so much planned and it was in Germany. I mean, all my family, we'd already bought tickets. You know, we were, I mean, we were going, it was done. And we never in a million years dream that we were not going to really like each other after it was over.

[B]

So fascinating that you lived together for four years, went through counseling, and that was almost like the catalyst. And then marriage was so different. You know, I'm fascinated by that.

[D]

We lived together. We were in Florida, in St. Pete, and I don't know, we had a lot of friends. We were always doing fun stuff and you know, it was. Life was pretty much a big party, I guess. And then when we moved here to Georgia, it was, you know, we didn't have our friends. And it was really just him and I, and we really, I guess, didn't know each other at all. So it was pretty disappointing.

[A]

Well, thank you very much for calling. Appreciate it.

[C]

No problem.

[D]

You guys have a great day.

[B]

You, too.

[A]

Stacey and I, it wasn't necessarily pre marriage counseling, but we went to a place in Dallas where we took different personality tests, and it was specific for marriage, telling you who was strong in what area, who was weak in the other area. So you go into the relationship knowing, for instance, who the spender is, who the saver is. Unfortunately, we're both spenders, and you can just identify them before you get into the marriage. And I think it did help us. Didn't change anything, but it sure did identify it.

[B]

Right.

[E]

Good morning.

[A]

Q100.

[D]

Hi.

[A]

Hi. Who's this?

[C]

Ann.

[D]

Margaret.

[A]

What's going on?

[D]

Ann Margaret, how are you?

[B]

Good.

[F]

I love a double name.

[B]

I know. I love it.

[E]

Let me guess. You're from the South.

[D]

I'm very much from the South.

[A]

Our neighbor is Mary Charlotte. I love that. Isn't that great? What's up?

[D]

We actually went to premarital counseling, and the counselor told us not to get married.

[A]

Why?

[D]

We had gone. Well, my husband had been married before, so he felt like we needed to do this just to kind of get anything out in the air that needed to be, you know, just in case. And so, you know, we set up this premarital counseling, got a reference through our church, only went a couple times. And I felt like the. The counselor just wanted to kind of get to know us. So we spent a couple sessions, just, you know, the first session, we talked about me and my family and my background. The second session, we talked about him and his family and his background. And so then the third session, we go in, and we just had an argument about the invitations. And so we went into the session. She goes, what do you guys want to talk about today? And we said, well, actually, we just had an argument about the invitations. You know, what's your take on it now?

[E]

Did you say, actually, we'd like to speak about the invitations, or did somebody say, yeah, I'll tell you what I want to talk about. I want to talk about the GD invitations, and I want to talk about calligraphy versus just regular block print. Anybody else want to talk about that?

[D]

Well, basically, we kind of just looked at each other, and we were like, well, actually, we just had an argument. We want your take on it. And so we went through the whole deal about it, and, you know, we're both Very calm. And she pauses really long and she's like, honestly, I just don't think you two need to get married. And we're, like, both shocked. We're like, really? We just had an argument about the invitations. It's not like we hate each other or anything. And so then she goes into this whole thing about, you know, he doesn't have a stable job and I'm not going to have a stable job, and we're going to get a divorce in six months, so we just need to hold off on our wedding. And I'm six months prior to getting married to this guy, and so I just cry the whole hour. And then we walk outside and I go, do you still love me? And of course he said yes. And I said, will you still marry me? And of course he said yes. And we never went back.

[A]

And you're married now.

[D]

We've been married a year and a half and everything's just peachy. And we got the invitations that we wanted.

[B]

So maybe her. Was it a she or he?

[D]

It was a she.

[B]

Maybe her tactic was that's how marriages work, like, to make you so defined. Oh, you don't think we're going to be able to get married? Oh, we can still get married. Like, you know, like. Well, I don't think you should get married because, you know what? He's in an unstable job. You're not going to get a job. You're going to be divorced. Who cares? And probably has a better success rate of marriage. And her clients because she makes them mad.

[A]

It's not that uncommon. Right. Rebecca, what's up?

[C]

Hey.

[A]

Hi.

[D]

I'm just calling to say that, yeah, we had to go through the premarital. It's. It's required for Catholics to even be considered being married. And, I mean, we had an okay time with it. I mean, my counselor wasn't, like, really just saying that we shouldn't get married anything, but they also told me that 40% of the people that come in end up not getting married by the end of it. Wow, 40%. I don't know how accurate that is. And they're just trying to scare you, but that seemed like an awful high number. So I'm like, okay. I mean, they have you take a test and it's. Well, there was a couple options you could do, but we just did the one day, eight hour thing and. But it is amazing how much you don't know. I mean, I've been together with my fiance for six years, living together for most of it before we got Married. And there was still stuff. I'm like, really?

[B]

Like one example. I'm curious what comes out after you've been living together for six years. What could possibly be the topic that would make you think, hey, I didn't know that about you.

[D]

I mean, you would think these big things like religion and children, like you think, oh, well, we talked about it and we have, but I don't know if it's through the years you kind of change your mind on things, but then like all of a sudden you just realize, oh, really? You don't, you know, you don't want to be here because we just moved and he didn't want to have kids here. And I'm like, really? And it's just like, I guess it's things that you. I guess within the first year, someone meeting someone, you talk about it, but then it kind of gets pushed back because it's like, oh, well, we already talked about it. But then throughout the years you just realize, oh, well, that's probably changed.

[A]

Okay, well, I can understand the changing part.

[F]

Yeah. And I think that some things like religion become more important as you get older. When you're young, in love and first mate, you're like, oh, that won't matter.

[B]

Right. But then, especially if you want to build a family, that's when religion usually starts stepping up again because you want to. You usually start arguing about how you want to raise your kids. Then.

[A]

Alright, here's last call. Melissa, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[D]

Hi, how are you doing?

[A]

Good.

[D]

Yeah, I went to premarital counseling and that ended in January and they told us not to get married.

[A]

Was there one thing that they were pointing to or was it just a whole bunch of incompatibility?

[D]

We went to it through the church and I'm actually Buddhist and we've known this from the get go that we're spiritually different. And they basically told me that I was part of a cult religion and then I really had no business marrying a Christian.

[E]

Wow.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

A cult religion, that's bold.

[A]

You think so?

[B]

Isn't there more Buddhists around the world than Christians?

[D]

I'm not sure, honestly. I mean, it's not a float in.

[E]

The United States, but I think it's a close second.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, but yeah, I mean.

[E]

I certainly wouldn't consider it a cult.

[A]

No, of course not.

[C]

And I go to church with him.

[D]

And you know, I read the Bible with him to be, you know, supportive as I can. And I still want to learn a lot about it, but they didn't care.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So. And everything's fine now.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

We're getting married actually a week from Friday.

[A]

Are you having one of those cultish Buddha weddings?

[D]

No, I'm very open. And, you know, I actually. Weddings aren't as important to me, so I, you know, was doing the wedding because he wanted it. So we're pretty much doing a Christian wedding, and I'm fine with that. I think it's.

[A]

See, I didn't realize that the counselor could, like, be the judge and jury at the end of the thing. I thought that they sort of, like, asked me, you the questions and put them in front of you, and you sort of, like, made up your own mind. This is the first time I've ever heard of counselors actually going, this is never going to work.

[E]

Yeah, they make recommendations. Because what they do at the end of the counseling is they tell you on what and where you should work. Like you said, you and Stacy are both spenders. So he probably said during that meeting, all right, you guys got to watch it. Like, somebody's going to have to get better at keeping a budget, or else you all are going to be in debt in five years or whatever. Right? So he says that, but that's one red flag. But then let's say you want six kids, and Stacy wanted none. And let's say you thought you and Stacy should both work, but she thought the man took care of the family. Eventually, enough of those flags goes up with the guys.

[A]

Like, writing's right here.

[E]

He can tell you to keep a budget and talk about the kids, but then eventually, it's, like, out of fingers.

[A]

Yeah. He's like, ah, writing's on the wall.

[E]

Just don't do it.

[A]

Get it? The Birch Show.