The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Thursday, January 29 [Vault]

Date: January 29, 2026
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & the entire Bert Show Cast

Episode Overview

In this episode, The Bert Show delivers a lively mix of serious discussions and humor around two major topics:

1. The ethical, legal, and emotional implications of STI disclosure, centering on a listener’s experience discovering a partner had genital herpes.
2. Listener stories about the revelations and sometimes unexpected outcomes of pre-marital counseling—covering everything from relationship dealbreakers to shocking advice from counselors.

This episode is marked by candid caller stories, spirited banter, and thought-provoking debates, with the hosts and listeners sharing personal experiences, advice, and the occasional burst of laughter.

Segment 1: The Genital Herpes Disclosure Debate

(00:00 – 11:34)

Background

• Abigail shares her story: She ended a relationship after discovering her boyfriend hid that he had genital herpes, feeling it was “irresponsible” not to disclose this before intimacy.

Key Discussion Points

• Responsibility to Disclose STIs

  • Bert opens: “She was just relaying a story to us ... completely irresponsible of him not to tell her ... I don’t know who could argue with that.” (00:01)
  • The cast concurs that disclosure is a basic expectation in intimate relationships.

• Caller: Jesse’s Perspective

  • Jesse, on a voice disguiser, shares she contracted herpes after five weeks of dating and her boyfriend also did not initially know (due to misdiagnosis).
  • Jesse: “You have to request for a genital herpes test ... they draw blood and you have to give them permission ... I actually talked to his doctor ... that’s the only reason I actually believe it.” (01:10–02:17)

• Morality and Character

  • Abigail (later): “If you continually have relationships with people and you don’t tell them about this ... it’s pretty wrong and pretty immoral ... You’re putting [them at risk] ... It’s something that stays with you for the rest of [your] life.” (03:02–03:56)

• Community Resources/Dating with Herpes

  • Discussion acknowledges people with the condition often seek relationships with others who have it: “There’s a website for people with STDs ... so they don’t have the self-consciousness.” (04:21)

• Transmission Questions

  • Bert: “Do you only catch that when the other person is having an outbreak?” (04:33)
  • The cast admits uncertainty but emphasizes the key issue is honesty.

• Principle of Common Courtesy

  • The group draws a parallel to being considerate with minor illnesses: “If you have something [contagious], you let people know ... Even for a cold, you warn people—you’re supposed to be even more upfront with something chronic.” (04:46–05:56)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert: “If I fall into bed together—‘Oh, you don’t want to go there cause I’ve got genital herpes’—may kill the mood, right?” (05:55–06:00)
• “He’s a serial ... herpist.” (08:48, 10:47)
• On Craigslist exposure: “You can put him up on that do not date list ... I absolutely think it’s justifiable to post something like that online.” (08:41, 10:42)

Legal & Reputational Fallout

• Posting online warnings: Abigail’s ex is featured in a "do-not-date" post.

• Bert: “If he’s done this to you, he’s done this to a slew of other women over the last few years.” (08:54)

• Discussion shifts to whether criminal charges apply and the impact on careers and public reputations.

• Abigail, grateful for the support: “Thank you so much for helping me … Thank god I have [internet] so I can listen to you when I’m traveling.” (11:24–11:33)

Segment 2: The Surprises and Soul-Searching of Pre-Marital Counseling

(11:34 – 22:22)

Transition

• The show shifts to exploring if pre-marital counseling ever scuttled a relationship or brought up dealbreakers, prompted by Allison’s story—she and her fiancé have set a wedding date and planned everything, but are still pre-engaged while doing counseling.

Key Discussion Points

• Counseling Reveals Incompatibility

  • Stephanie calls: After extensive classes in Germany, a long-planned wedding still ended in divorce soon after—realizing "we had a lot of very different views." (12:16–13:05)
  • The counseling covered family planning, religion (Catholic/Baptist mix), and daily life expectations.

• Insight: Living Together Isn’t Knowing Everything

  • “We lived together for four years ... We kind of thought we knew ... but apparently, we didn’t.” – Stephanie (13:08)
  • Bert: “Fascinating that you lived together for four years ... and [counseling] was almost like the catalyst.” (14:14)

• Identifying Relationship Dynamics

  • Bert shares personal experience with pre-marital tests that highlight personality types—“who the spender is, who the saver is ... you can just identify them before you get into the marriage.” (14:46)

• When Counselors Advise Against Marriage

  • Ann Margaret’s story: Her counselor advised not to marry, based on a single argument about wedding invitations!
    • “She pauses really long and she’s like, honestly, I just don’t think you two need to get married. And we’re, like, both shocked ... We just had an argument about the invitations.” (16:30–16:45)
  • They ignored the advice, married anyway, and report things are “just peachy.” (17:34)
  • Bert: “Maybe her tactic was—that’s how marriages work—to make you so defiant that you prove her wrong.” (17:43)

• Counseling as Gatekeeper

  • Rebecca notes it’s actually “required for Catholics ... they told me 40% of the people that come in end up not getting married by the end of it.” (18:05–18:47)
  • “It is amazing how much you don’t know ... even after six years together, living together for most of it before we got married.” (18:49–19:09)

• Changing Over Time

  • Discussion: Even things you think are settled (like religion/kids) may shift as years go by. (19:47–20:05)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Counseling confrontation: “They basically told me that I was part of a cult religion and that I really had no business marrying a Christian.” – Melissa, a Buddhist engaging in Christian premarital counseling (20:12–20:36)

• “Are you having one of those cultish Buddha weddings?” – Bert, tongue-in-cheek (21:10)

• “I didn’t realize the counselor could, like, be the judge and jury at the end ... This is the first time I’ve heard of counselors actually going, ‘This is never going to work.’” (21:26–21:38)

• On red flags: “He can tell you to keep a budget and talk about the kids ... but eventually enough of those flags go up ... writing’s right here ... just don’t do it.” (22:09–22:22)

Final Thoughts & Tone

Language & Tone:
The episode is unfiltered, often irreverent, empathetic, and always real. The cast balances sensitivity (especially around health disclosure) with their trademark humor and camaraderie. Listeners’ stories are treated with respect, but there’s a consistent undercurrent of banter and comic relief that defines The Bert Show’s style.

Most Memorable Moments:

• The “serial herpist” joke (10:47–10:50)
• Bert flipping disclosure on its head: “If I fall into bed together—‘Oh, you don’t want to go there cause I’ve got genital herpes’—may kill the mood, right?”
• The shock of counselors bluntly telling couples not to marry after seemingly minor disagreements.

Key Timestamps

• 00:00–11:34: Stories and debate around STI and genital herpes disclosure—morality, legality, and “outing” partners online.
• 11:34–22:22: Pre-marital counseling stories—unexpected revelations, advice to split, and how relationship dynamics shift.

This episode shines in blending authenticity with tough topics, offering valuable perspectives on honesty, consent, and the unpredictability of relationships—all with The Bert Show’s signature warmth and wit.