The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, January 27 [Vault]

Podcast: The Bert Show
Date: January 27, 2026
Host: Bert and the Bert Show Cast (Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy et al.)
Main Theme:
This episode delves into modern perspectives on marriage, the difference between love and legal/ceremonial commitment, personal transformations and relationships, and debates whether public proposals (especially on Valentine's Day) are meaningful or cliché.

1. Marriage: Is It Necessary? [00:00–08:53]

• Introduction of a Newsweek Editorial (00:03):

  • Melissa brings up an editorial by Bonnie Eslinger, “To Love, No To Marriage,” where Eslinger, a 42-year-old woman, decides she doesn’t need marriage to validate her long-term relationship.
  • Her boyfriend’s family expresses surprise and pressure about the lack of marriage; Eslinger questions the social expectation.
  • “I don’t think that I need a piece of paper, in her words, to prove that we love each other.” (Melissa, 00:53)

• Generational Differences (01:28–03:36):

  • Discussion about how the stereotype is that women always want marriage, but Eslinger, and others, challenge that.
  • Kristen wonders if younger women feel the same way or if age affects this.
  • “We're looking for like the female George Clooney... I will never, ever, ever, ever get married.” (Bert & Kristin, 02:18–02:23)
  • Abby and Cassie (20-something women) express they’re open to the idea but don’t see marriage as necessary, especially after witnessing divorces in their families.
  • “My generation was skeptical of marriage because all of our parents are divorced... so what makes us think that ours are going to [work out]?” (Cassie, 03:13)

• Younger Listener Calls In (03:38–05:05):

  • A 21-year-old female caller echoes: “To me, like, marriage is a piece of paper.” (Caller, 03:38)
  • Discussion about whether children of divorce are less interested in marriage.

• Effect of Marriage on Appearance (03:33–05:05):

  • Light-hearted jokes emerge about how marriage ages people.
  • “Marriage ages you. Like, in dog years.” (Tommy, 04:53)

• Examples of Long-Term Unmarried Couples (05:05–06:06):

  • Caller Julie shares her parents have been together for 33 years without being married.
  • “Every time they work through their fights and stay together, it’s because I guess they really love each other.” (Caller, 05:18)

2. Relationship Expectations & the Realities of Commitment [06:06–12:42]

• End of Relationship Due to Differing Marriage Expectations (06:23–07:04):

  • Bert recalls a story where a woman ended a relationship because her boyfriend didn’t believe in marriage; she had always dreamed of marrying.

  • “She dumped the guy. It's just not for me.” (Bert, 06:22)

• Key Insight: Compatibility Matters Most (07:04–07:34):

  • “The more important thing for a couple is what… makes sense to them.” (Kristin, 06:23)
  • Compatible perspectives on marriage (or lack thereof) are crucial for relationship longevity.

• Public vs. Private Commitment (07:34–08:53):

  • 25-year-old caller says she doesn’t want marriage, especially not a church wedding; views marriage as a Christian institution.
  • Crew counters this, noting marriage occurs across religions; the caller admits she’s only gone to church weddings.

3. Commitment, Promises & Affairs [08:53–12:02]

• A Difficult Call: The Mistress Perspective (08:53–10:38):

  • Barbara, a caller, admits to being in a year-long affair with a married man who refuses to make future promises.
  • Hosts note his inability to commit to either woman.
  • “He’s already shown you he can’t make a commitment because he couldn't to his wife.” (Kristin, 09:58)
  • “If he does, he’s gonna leave you for somebody else.” (Cassie, 10:11)

• What’s the Difference Between Commitment and a Promise? (10:38–11:17):

  • Bert defines commitment as a vow to be together for life.
  • Tommy jokes: “There's no difference between a commitment and a promise if they're coming from a person who lies.” (Tommy, 11:00)

4. Reflections on Marriage & Divorce Across Generations [11:42–12:42]

• Lingering Effects of Divorce (11:42–12:02):

  • A new generation skeptical of marriage due to seeing their parents’ divorces: “It’s really kind of unique because those divorced parents came from a generation… who stayed together.” (Melissa, 11:42)

• Memorable Quote on Long Marriages (12:02):

  • Bert shares: “We never fell out of love with each other at the same time.” (12:02)
  • Group ponders how this cyclical dynamic could be both sustaining and depressing.

5. “The Married Guy Challenge” and Relationship Metamorphosis [12:57–28:53]

• Revisiting the Married Guy Challenge (13:12–18:26):

  • Bert recounts a challenge: Married men are encouraged to (with permission) try to collect as many women’s phone numbers as possible to see if they’d now be more successful than when single.
  • One listener shares that after losing weight, his wife began urging him to take the challenge—almost pushing him out the door.
  • “She said, I have to ask myself why I'm not taking her up on the opportunity. So she was never really answering this question at all.” (Bert, 18:26)

• The Final Update: Wife Leaves After Weight Loss (19:28–21:35):

  • The listener writes back: his wife ultimately left him, citing a need to “explore her new self”; he did nothing wrong, but she underwent a personal metamorphosis after their shared weight loss.
  • “She said she realized that she just has a different outlook on life now… she wants to explore her new self, whatever that means.” (Bert reading, 20:48)
  • The hosts and listeners speculate about the psychology behind major weight change: gaining confidence, seeking outside attention, or feeling selfish.

• Listener Reactions and Theories (22:17–31:10):

  • Several callers (Liz, Katie, Jennifer, Sarah, Chelsea) suggest reasons for such splits after weight loss: revived self-esteem, increased outside attention, or guilt over infidelity.

  • “I want you to want to date other people... I'm starting to date other guys outside of the relationship, and it's just like I've fallen out of love.” (Chelsea, 27:53)

  • “Some people who believe that we're not naturally supposed to be monogamous anyway.” (Bert, 26:47)

6. Public Proposals and Valentine’s Day: Special or Cliché? [31:10–End]

• Is Valentine’s Day a Good Day to Propose? (31:10–37:56):
  • A listener plans to propose, but the cast debates whether Valentine’s Day proposals are romantic or just Hallmark clichés.
  • “It just seems so unoriginal.” (Kristin, 32:35)
  • Several callers share personal stories of Valentine’s or public proposals:
    • Christy: “My husband surprised me on the 15th instead of the 14th in front of all of my family, and I thought it was the best thing.” (Christy, 33:32)
    • Terry: “I got proposed last year on Valentine's Day, and it was such a surprise... he took me on a helicopter ride over Atlanta and proposed to me there.” (Terry, 35:05)
    • Tiffany: “My husband proposed to me on his birthday and said it was the best birthday present he could ever give himself. I think Valentine's Day is cheese.” (Tiffany, 36:34)
    • Multiple guests share both favor and opposition to Valentine’s proposals.
  • “The lesson you could learn here is that if you're gonna do it on Valentine's Day, it's gotta be so over the top that it offsets the cliche.” (Bert, 36:28)

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “I don’t think that I need a piece of paper… to prove that we love each other.” (Melissa, 00:53)
• “My generation was skeptical of marriage because all of our parents are divorced.” (Cassie, 03:13)
• “Marriage ages you. Like, in dog years.” (Tommy, 04:53)
• “She dumped the guy. It's just not for me.” (Bert, 06:22)
• “If he does [leave his wife], he's gonna leave you for somebody else.” (Cassie, 10:11)
• “We never fell out of love with each other at the same time.” (Bert quoting, 12:02)
• “She said she realized that she just has a different outlook on life now… she wants to explore her new self, whatever that means.” (Bert reading, 20:48)
• “Some people believe that we're not naturally supposed to be monogamous anyway.” (Bert, 26:47)
• “It just seems so unoriginal.” (Kristin, 32:35)
• “If you're gonna do it on Valentine's Day, it's gotta be so over the top that it offsets the cliche.” (Bert, 36:28)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Marriage debate and generational views: 00:00–08:53
• Affairs, promise vs. commitment: 08:53–12:42
• Married Guy Challenge / Relationship shifts after weight loss: 13:12–31:10
• Valentine’s Day proposals – cliche or cute: 31:10–38:43

Summary Tone

• Conversational, witty, and lively with the classic Bert Show authentic, no-holds-barred honesty.
• Humor punctuates serious topics, offering both levity and real talk.

Conclusion

Listeners are treated to an unfiltered dialogue on how societal norms about marriage are shifting, with younger generations questioning tradition, and callers courageously sharing their own unconventional stories. The episode also addresses how personal change can uproot relationships and explores if and how public romantic gestures—particularly on cliché holidays—can actually be meaningful or just cringeworthy.

Best for: Those curious about how modern relationships are evolving, and anyone looking for candid, laugh-out-loud insights into love, commitment, and how the times (and people) are changing.