Full Show: PT 3 Tuesday, November 4 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show - Full Show: PT 3 Tuesday, November 4 [Vault]

Date: November 4, 2025
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Jeff, and others

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show brings the signature mix of humor, real talk, and listener participation. The cast delves into several engaging topics: the power of Olympic athlete montages in storytelling, a listener’s plea for relationship advice after infidelity, a candid interview with CNN’s Dr. Sanjay Gupta about sleep issues and medication, and a lively debate about whether teenagers should babysit. The show maintains its playful, authentic tone while also providing moments of heartfelt reflection and practical takeaways.

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Major Segments & Discussion Points

1. The Art of the Olympic Montage

[01:29 - 06:18]

Theme:
The cast jokes about the Olympic Games’ shift from being about athletic competition to being dominated by emotionally charged athlete montages.

Key Insights:

• These montages are now a staple of Olympic coverage, aiming to make viewers emotionally invested in the athletes.
• The team parodies this format, creating a funny mock-montage about Jeff Dollar’s imaginary Olympic journey, escalated with increasingly absurd achievements.

Notable Quote:

• “It's the gripping stories to get you invested in the... because you want to be cheering for that person... And you need to know that when they were six years old is when they first broke their legs in some kind of random accident.” — D [01:41]

Memorable Moment:

• Jeff’s Olympic montage featuring accomplishments like “gold medaling in Cold Stone Creamery flavor picking” and his journey through “BlackBerry Biathlon.”

  “Just the mention of his name, Jeff Dollar echoes gold medal greatness in a multitude of sports.” — F [03:20]

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2. Listener Dilemma: Can a Relationship Recover from Rock Bottom?

[06:19 - 25:18]

Theme:
A listener (“Jason,” voice disguised) shares his story of repeated infidelity in his long-term relationship. He wonders if anyone has made such a relationship work after “hitting rock bottom.”

Key Insights & Discussion Points:

• Jason’s girlfriend lied about a business trip, secretly traveling to the Virgin Islands with a coworker and leaving revealing notes.
• Despite his deep love for her, he’s uncertain whether trust can ever be restored.
• The hosts and listeners discuss whether it’s possible to rebuild trust after significant betrayal.

Notable Quotes:

• Bert: “I want to actually try to find somebody listening to your situation going, you think yours was bad? Here's where mine was at. I stayed in the relationship and maybe give you some insight on exactly what happened.” [13:29]
• Jason: “She's the love of my life. I mean, there's no doubt that I'm in love with her so I don't know if this will work out or not.” [12:01]
• Jeff: “It's not only him. Like, she has to be prepared that anytime he says, let me look in your briefcase, she has to let him, no matter what.” [20:01]

Listener Calls:

• Kimberly ([16:36]): Shares a story of her husband’s infidelity and drug addiction. She stood by him for her children, and after many years, he turned his life around.
• Patrick ([18:26]): Worked through suspicions and a breakup with his now-fiancée. The process of rebuilding trust took months, showing it can be done but requires effort from both sides.
• Jackie ([20:47]): Describes a complicated relationship involving infidelity and broken trust, but ultimately says she’s glad she stayed, even if the relationship remains work-in-progress.

Cast Reflections:

• The group largely advises Jason to move on, expressing skepticism that trust can truly be rebuilt given the lack of remorse shown by his girlfriend.
• The segment is punctuated by humor and resignation.
  “A lot of love to give, man… And you should get a puppy or a goldfish.” — B [23:47]
• Memorable humor: The hosts rattle off a string of old proverbs (“A stitch in time saves nine”; “Don’t take a wooden nickel”) as they wrap up.

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3. Medical Spotlight: Sleep, Pills & Real Rest with Dr. Sanjay Gupta

[27:39 - 45:36]

Theme:
CNN’s Dr. Sanjay Gupta is brought on to talk candidly about sleep disorders, reliance on prescription medication, and the societal consequences of “quick fix” sleep solutions.

Key Discussion Points:

• Addictiveness of Sleeping Pills: Newer medications (like Lunesta and Ambien) are intended for short-term use, but dependence (physical or psychological) can still develop.
• Physiological effects: These drugs depress neurotransmitters, quickly initiate sleep, and usually don’t cause grogginess if used properly.
• Side effects: Rare cases like “sleep eating” on Ambien, and the surprisingly high recreational use among teens and young adults.
• Alternatives to Medication: Emphasis on improving “sleep hygiene” (blackout curtains, steady schedule, limiting pre-bed stimulation, etc.) before seeking prescriptions.
• Dangers of Sleep Deprivation: Links to chronic illness, memory impairment, and weight gain.
• Provigil & Stimulants: Questions about the safety of drugs that keep people awake (e.g., for shift workers or students); Dr. Gupta cautions about unknown long-term effects.

Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Gupta: “None of them are designed to be taken lifelong...They’re supposed to get you through periods of your life when you’re having difficulty sleeping, but then you’re supposed to come off of them.” [29:37]
• Dr. Gupta: “Lack of sleep...your cortisol levels are different than the average population. They have a likelihood of developing more chronic diseases such as sleep apnea, pulmonary diseases as well, and heart disease...” [41:21]

Listener Questions:

• Susan ([36:44]): Asks for advice on ending her dependency on Ambien; Dr. Gupta suggests gradual tapering.
• Aaron ([38:21]): Notes high schoolers are often seeking Ambien for recreational use, highlighting growing prescription drug culture among youth.
• Call about Provigil ([42:52]): Raises concerns about using “wakefulness” drugs as a workaround for poor sleep.

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4. Debate: Should Teenagers Babysit?

[45:38 - 56:46]

Theme:
Inspired by a family debate, Bert takes a hard stance against hiring teenage babysitters, seeking stories to convince his wife that it’s a bad idea.

Key Discussion Points:

• Cast Banter: Lively, funny exchanges about their own teenage babysitting or babysitter experiences.
• Bert’s argument hinges on the risk of emergencies and teenage immaturity. Others counter that many teens are responsible, have training, and nothing catastrophic happened on their watch.
• Listener Calls: A mix of stories, ranging from harmless teenage mischief (sampling alcohol, inviting a boyfriend over) to true horror tales:
  • Alicia ([50:15]): Her sister became pregnant with her boyfriend while babysitting—with the kids present.
  • Jenny ([51:03]): Used to drink from the liquor cabinet while babysitting but never endangered the kids.
  • Sonya ([52:39]): Babysitter locked herself out with a toddler still inside; minor but anxiety-inducing.
  • Jolly ([53:49]): A 15-year-old sitter gave vodka to a 2-year-old, causing alcohol poisoning and ongoing medical issues.
  • Sarah ([56:02]): A 15-year-old babysitter’s negligence led to the house burning down.

Notable Quotes:

• Bert: “To put the most precious thing in your life in the hands of a teenager. Man, I know it's been done a trillion times over the course of history, but I just can't do it. I just absolutely can't do it.” [56:23]
• G (caller): “Don’t ever hire a child to watch your children. It's unfair. Because this little girl, she looked at me like… she's so sad… I'm supposed to feel bad for her because she's still a kid?” [55:12]

Memorable Humor:

• After several failed attempts to find a “shocking” story for his case, Bert exclaims, “So far, Bert, your theory sucks,” as the cast jokes about the survival of the kids as the only outcome that matters. [50:54]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Olympic montages:
  “Once Jeff Dollar tasted Olympic greatness, his ego was hungry for more.” — F [03:48]

• On infidelity:
  “It's not only walking out the door, but... every little tiny thing that happens... in the back of your mind... And I just don't know. So you have to have the energy to be able to handle it and work through it.” — D [19:39]

• On sleep medication:
  “We're a quick fix society and we are subjected to the marketing, there's no question. But I think too many people in this country probably jump to the pill first before trying things that might be a little easier.” — Dr. Sanjay Gupta [30:49]

• On babysitting fears:
  “Can I see your CPR card?”... “Here’s how babysitter happened in our neighborhood: Hey, Dollar, you going anywhere this afternoon? All right. Make sure Josh doesn't set himself on fire.” — E [47:32]

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Timestamps Cheat Sheet

• Olympic Montage Satire – [01:29 — 06:18]
• Listener Infidelity Dilemma – [06:19 — 25:18]
• Dr. Sanjay Gupta Interview: Sleep/Medication – [27:39 — 45:36]
• Teen Babysitter Debate – [45:38 — 56:46]

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bert Show walks a fine line between humor and heartfelt advice. From lampooning Olympic storytelling to navigating the serious pain of betrayal, to investigating our society’s relationship with sleep (and the pills that promise it), and ending on a passionately one-sided debate about babysitters, the show is quintessential Bert Show: real, witty, and consistently engaging. Even on tough topics, the cast’s camaraderie and openness make for a relatable and entertaining listen.

Transcript

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[B]

You're on the Burch show. We brought this up. I meant years ago. The Olympics now have nothing to do with the competition. For the networks, it's all about the personal stories with the athletes.

[D]

It's the gripping stories to get you invested in the, you know, because you want to be cheering for that person that's going down, you know, on their skis, down the dangerous slopes. And you need to know that when they were six years old is when they first broke their legs in some kind of random accident. And they spent their whole childhood trying to get their legs back together. And, and then once they did, they got on their skis. That's the only thing they wanted to do when they were healthy. And then they built themselves up and then somehow something else tragic happened in their lives. And then something else tragic happened in their lives. But they are on top of that mountain and they're gonna go down and they're gonna win that gold.

[B]

Our boy from Cumming, Georgia here, Ryan Levier, he and his mom put on gloves and they go from house to house cleaning homes when he's a child so they can afford money for his training. Then he breaks his back during his Olympic trials. You know, same story here locally and.

[E]

You can hear the montage for next Olympics. And he arrived in Torino ready to take home the gold, silver or bronze. But a last minute team replacement prevented him from taking home the medal. This is, will this be his year?

[B]

Same thing. You see it every 10 minutes if you're watching any of the Olympic covers. So to celebrate that, this week we are all putting together our winter Olympic montages and Jeff's is today.

[E]

Yeah, I am a multi medal winner, as you can imagine. And I really, and I really like the sound of hearing my own name. So I took those liberties when I wrote this. I haven't even heard it yet, so I hope it's funny.

[F]

The 2006 multi sport Olympic hopeful, Jeff Dollar.

[G]

Jeff Dollar.

[F]

Jeff Dollar. Jeff dollar.

[B]

Jeff Dollar.

[H]

Jeff Dollar.

[F]

Just the mention of his name, Jeff Dollar echoes gold medal greatness in a multitude of sports. Jeff Dollar first became known in the 02 Winter Games when he gold medaled in cold stone creamery flavor picking. It was Jeff Dollar's friend Tracy McPherson who first tasted his heavenly concoction mint.

[D]

Ice cream, double oreo fudge.

[B]

Are you kidding me?

[D]

This is a gold medal blend of tastes if I ever tasted one. Jeff Dollar is a genius.

[F]

Once Jeff Dollar tasted Olympic greatness, his ego was hungry for more. He quickly made plans for the 04 Summer Games. All the hits Q100 program director Dylan saw him warming up for one of his two 04 events, BlackBerry Biathlon.

[A]

Honestly, Jeff was un at every station event.

[F]

He just stood in the corner with.

[A]

His back to the crowd practicing type pocket, ring, look, respond quicker than anyone.

[B]

I've ever met over and over.

[A]

He was so focused, didn't actually talk to anyone. He just BlackBerry amazing.

[F]

Jeff brought the gold home from Athens in this event, handily defeating Japan and Brazil. He didn't have as much luck in his second event though, and failed to meddle at all in hosting. Even Jeff will tell you that his performance was not his best.

[E]

My only practice ground was the nightclub vision. I didn't even think of trying my craft anymore.

[D]

Anywhere else.

[E]

So when I got to the Olympics, I was nervous. I was in a new venue. I wasn't used to working with other DJs.

[F]

Upon his return to the States, he vowed to capture the gold. His next chance, winter 06. He was further motivated when P. Diddy began to taunt him.

[A]

I will drink Buddy Love under the table.

[B]

No, you didn't.

[G]

No, you didn't dance him. I will out party. He will be.

[A]

I will put him to bed. I'll tuck him in. I do this for a living, sir.

[F]

Jeff spent most of 2005 training first at Vision.

[E]

If you're gonna get drunk as hell tonight, put your hands in the air. If you're gonna have a story to tell tomorrow, put your hands in the air. And if you're not gonna remember the.

[G]

Story cause you're drunk as hell, make some noise.

[F]

And then at Turner Field, I saw.

[B]

Him at several games. He was really, really great. I had no idea which cap the ball was under. He me with the tool race plus the way he stressed your and home of your Atlanta Braves. It made me feel like I really own the team.

[F]

Jeff spent Saturday's Vision and every Braves home game honing his craft. By fall of 2005, he knew he was ready. He sailed through the preliminaries, and while a brief cold in early January scared him, now he's in Torino and he's ready to take home the gold.

[E]

Italy.

[G]

Let me hear you make some.

[F]

Jeff doll. Multisport gold medalist.

[B]

Very nice.

[C]

Bravo.

[B]

Very nice. You're on the Burt Show. Listen, it's the Burt Show. We have a Burt show listener on the line right now on the Voice disguiser. We're gonna call him Jason. Very nervous to come on because he wants to make this work with his girlfriend. She has given him basically every opportunity to leave this relationship and done it in sometimes very cruel ways. So I think our initial response is going to be a natural one. And it's going to be one to say, you got to get out of this thing, dude. You got to get out. But I'm more curious if we can actually find virtual listeners that have hit rock bottom. I mean, just rock bottom with their boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, husbands, and stayed in the relationship. And it actually worked out in the end. Like, maybe because he's so committed to making this work, you can give him some hope. And I'm hoping it's not a dangerous thing to do. I don't even know if we'll get any calls on it. Okay, let's at least hear him out. Hey, Jason. Good morning.

[H]

Hey, what's up, guys?

[B]

Hi. You're on the voice disguiser.

[H]

That's good, that's good.

[B]

All right, go ahead and detail for us the relationship, how many years you guys have been going out and some of the kind of infractions that have gone on in the relationship, because you really do. And reading your email, you have. I mean, if it's me, I'm out the first time. But you have stayed in time and time and time again.

[H]

That is right. I've been with this girl, say, I don't know, about two and a half, three years, and she's loved my wife, I'll admit that. And we've had some rough times recently, but we came across a situation where she went on this business trip. She's in sales and she's not a very good salesperson. So she was excited about this opportunity. So she tells me she goes on this business trip and she leaves. She kisses me goodbye and I don't hear from her for about two or three days. And of course I get a little worried. I look in the kitchen, I find it kind of strange that her briefcase is still there. And I thought she should have taken her briefcase on the business trip. So me being a little nosy, I go in there and kind of take a peek and there are all these brochures for like Virgin Islands, and there's these little sticky notes attached to them saying, I love you. I can't wait to see you. I can't wait to see you in a bathing suit. Of course, I'm getting a little curious about at this point, trying to figure out what's going on. So I call her boss and go, listen, there's a way to get a hold of so and so in Houston because that's where she told me she was going and her boss told me that she's not in Houston. She took an eight day leave of absence to go to the Virgin Islands. And so it turns out, like, do you have to know who she went with? And he told me that another co worker took an eight day absence as well.

[B]

So you started putting it all together.

[H]

Yeah, I finally just figured it all out. Of course I'm a little angry at this point. I don't know what to do.

[D]

A little angry.

[B]

A little angry.

[E]

I'm a little annoyed. That's kind of a little bit of a thorn on my side. But other than that, I love her.

[H]

Yeah. So if I confront her and she didn't really give me any really good reason about what she did, Other than she was sorry and she felt stupid about it, of course. Big part of me wants to take her back and big part. And big part of me says, you know, dude, what are you thinking? Move on with your life.

[B]

Did she give you any indication this was just a kind of a physical thing with this guy, or do you think that she's emotionally wrapped up in him?

[H]

I think she's emotionally wrapped up in him. I think so.

[B]

What makes you say that?

[H]

I don't know. I think, I guess the letters I found or the little post it notes I found and the. In a briefcase kind of going back and forth between the two.

[B]

So these weren't just post it notes from him eager to hang out with her. They were also from her telling him how excited she was to be hanging out with him.

[H]

Exactly.

[D]

So she still. Is she still seeing this guy?

[H]

I don't know. I really don't know at this point. So she told me she's not. But at this point, I'm not sure if I can believe a word she says. She says she wants me to come back, but I don't know.

[D]

At what point do you. At what point do you think you can believe what she's saying? Because I think that's always the issue when cheating happens.

[H]

That's the thing. I really don't know. I really don't know. I guess my question. I know the obvious question everyone's gonna say is that is gonna. Yeah, get out, dude, come on.

[I]

Right?

[H]

You never get. You're never gonna trust her again every time she goes out. So, you know, go for a walk or anything like that, you know, you're gonna question where she is. So just get out now.

[B]

Is this the first thing that's happened in the relationship that you have not been happy with? Or. Let's talk about the last three years.

[H]

Yeah, there have been some other things, but I prefer not to disclose that. But yeah, there have been other things. I've questioned my trust about her in.

[E]

In the realm of infidelity.

[H]

Not infidelity. I believe that she was 100% faithful to me during that time because for the past, I guess six or seven months, I guess she's been doing this. I knew something was up. I just couldn't. I just couldn't figure it out.

[B]

Without saying too much and, and just paraphrasing his email, it has been three years where he feels like. And if I am mistalking here, I'm misrepresenting you. Just, you know, Jason, say something. Okay, but according to your email, it's like three years of her just taking advantage of you and your kindness time and time again in a couple of different areas and you not feeling like you're getting a lot back but you, for whatever reason, can't break away.

[H]

Yeah, that's correct.

[D]

So it's not a balance. I mean, it's hard to. To know how harshly to react since we don't know the rest of what's going on but. So it's never been a balanced relationship.

[H]

I don't believe it has. Of course, you may hear another story. I mean, there's always two sides to the story which is like, I don't want to be the guy who says that my side is the only side.

[J]

And so why do you want to stay with this woman?

[H]

I don't know. I guess sounds as cheesy as it sounds. She's the love of my life. I mean, there's no doubt that I'm in love with her so I don't know if this will work out or not. That's the reason. I guess what I'm trying to figure out that have there actually been success stories where relationships have gone through this and they actually move forward to fossil and successful marriage or whatnot?

[E]

Have you equated the balance of having being with the love of your life versus a life of misery?

[H]

Yeah, I hear that all the time. I hear that all the time.

[E]

Like, so when you do that, when you do the math or whatever, is it worth it to spend a significant portion of your time? Because let's say you have a talk with her and she says, you know what, you're right and she breaks it off with this guy like you're not going to recover like tomorrow everything's not going to be okay. Like, you're going to have to spend, you know, x number of weeks or months or years getting over this and then once you're completely over it, always in the back of your mind is the doubt she's gonna do it again. Is that, is that worth it? Is that how much you love her?

[H]

I don't know.

[E]

Are you prepared for that?

[B]

Well, here's what I kind of want to stay away from because as you can imagine, most people right now are calling up saying, you got to get out. And there are a hundred different reasons that you've probably already gone through your, your mind on that you should get out. She's never going to show you the respect that you deserve if she can do this and not show as much remorse as you think she should show she's Gonna do it again. Those are the calls that are coming in.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

What I want to try to do is I want to actually try to find somebody listening to your situation going, you think yours was bad? Here's where mine was at. I stayed in the relationship and maybe give you some insight on exactly what happened. If it worked out, great. If not, then you'll know what your future is going to be.

[H]

All right, let's do it. I'd love to hear those stories, Bert.

[J]

Don'T you know, of a marriage that survives something pretty.

[D]

It.

[J]

Like a pretty intense affair?

[B]

Yeah, I don't know if you're allowed.

[J]

To talk about it. That's why I was sort of dancing around.

[B]

Well, I told you about the one last week, which is all. It's just almost similar to this one where dude goes to Vegas, falls in love, quote, unquote, with a stripper in Vegas, goes back home with a stripper, goes back home to his wife in Dallas and says, you know, I need to go find myself. I need to go. I don't know, I'm gonna go to Costa Rica for a couple of weeks just to see if I can find myself. I'm so confused about where I am in my life. And she's like, all right, go do what you got to do, you know, I mean, if this is really what you have to do, spend some time by yourself. Go ahead. So she finds out later that he ends up going down to Costa Rica with this stripper and spends like a month with her. Kept calling back to Dallas saying, haven't found myself just yet. I need another week. So it ended up being like four or six weeks down in Costa Rica. He flies home. She finds out and stays in the relationship for the sake of the kids and fast forward a couple of years, the relationship is fine, at least on paper. What it looks like publicly is that they're together, and they both say that they're happy. Now, I look at a couple like that, and I'm like, if I'm her, I'm out. There's no way I could ever get over that. But they stayed together, and at least in their case, publicly, it's all worked out.

[J]

Did he come home, your friend, and confess the whole thing, or. She had to discover it.

[B]

She found out while he was.

[J]

I think there's a difference there. Like, I feel like with. I'm sorry, what's your name again that we were calling you?

[B]

Jason.

[J]

Jason. I feel like if your girlfriend came back or. And confessed it to you without you, like, snooping and Finding it and, like, busting her or whatever, I feel like there might be some sort of ounce of hope there.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[J]

Like, if she was like, I made the biggest mistake of my life, please forgive me, blah, blah, blah, like, there.

[H]

Would be, like, she feels that way. I mean, to be honest, first. First thing she said was she got mad at me for going through a briefcase.

[D]

Yeah. So many things happen in a relationship, you know, like, even we talked to intern error before about outside forces you can't control. I mean, and this. I'm talking about more minor infractions in a relationship, but you can't control the outside forces that come in. But the people in the relationship better react in the appropriate way. That's what destroys a relationship, is the reaction, not the actual event that may have occurred.

[E]

Oh, no. I think sometimes it's having another naked man on top of your wife.

[D]

Well, like I said, minor infractions. That's the case with this one. I don't know.

[B]

All right, Jason, I'm gonna put you on hold. We're gonna take some calls from people that say that you should stick it out. But I want you again to know that 98% of the phone calls that are coming in are saying, this is never, ever gonna work.

[H]

Okay, I feel that way, too. I really do. But let's see those calls.

[B]

Hold on a second, please.

[E]

Let me hear those calls, please.

[B]

Good morning, Kimberly.

[G]

Hello.

[B]

Weave us a tale.

[G]

Okay. My husband and I actually started out as high school sweethearts. And at this point, we've been together for almost 13 years. But for probably 11 years out of those 13 and two kids later, he cheated on me. He got hooked on methamphetamines. He would leave and stay gone for days, even weeks at a time. Finally, it came to a point where it had to be, for me, a choice between him and my children. So I chose my children and kicked him out. But I still still stood by him to get him through the drug addiction and everything. We've gotten back together. We've been together for a year now, and things couldn't be better.

[B]

Really?

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

That's a real love right there, man. Cause seriously, I guess maybe my love's superficial or whatever, but, man, he was screwing around for how long?

[G]

You know, off and on. I think that I actually caught him three times for over about 10 years. And, you know, about a year ago, and this may well be a year ago, we got back together, and he's. I mean, done a complete turnaround. He's not on drugs. He's not talking to any of those people anymore. I mean, he's all about his children and his family, and he does exactly what he's supposed to do every day. I don't have to worry when he walks out the door anymore. It's a good feeling. It did take a long time to get over that, though. It's not going to be an overnight thing, and he's going to go through ups and downs for a long time.

[B]

The obvious question to you is the same one that I think Jen just asked is, like, why did you decide to stay in it? What did you see in this guy?

[G]

I love him. And I guess the time that I spent in the relationship, and I guess it helped that I had children with him, but, you know, if I didn't have the children with him, I don't know that I would have stuck around as long as I have, but I just love him.

[B]

All right, so you say hold on.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Thank you, Jesus.

[D]

Hold on. With warning, though, it's gonna take a while.

[B]

Hey, Patrick. Good morning.

[A]

Hey, what's up, guys?

[E]

Hey, Mev.

[A]

Basically, I thought that he should stick with it. My fiance and I, we've been together for almost three years. There were a couple of three times maybe that throughout that time I had my suspicions that maybe something was going on, but I could never prove it. And then we started working together and worked together for about a year, and she started kind of hanging out with this guy that we worked with, but it wasn't ever, like, for extended periods of time. It was just like going out to dinner and hanging out. And I addressed it. I was very like, I'm not approval of this at all. And we broke up actually because of it. And we were separated for about a couple of months. And then we ended up kind of working it out, talking it out, got back together. And of course, the biggest issue is the trust factor. You know, can I trust her? We spent a few months basically not. I wasn't, like, keeping tabs on or anything, but, like, I was like, okay, can I trust her? Can I trust her? And it just started working its way up. And now we're engaged to be married. So it can work, but it's just gonna take time. And if she's willing to gain the trust back, that's gotta be at least half the equation. She's got to want to get the trust back.

[B]

You don't even sound like he's got that right.

[D]

Yeah, because. Yeah, I think the warnings from both are coming from. Because I don't think we're even talking about the little things. It's not only walking out the door, but I know in my. For me, it would be every time the phone rings, every time. You know, like just every little tiny thing that happens in the back of your mind. And I just don't know. So you have to have the energy to be able to handle it and work through it. And I don't know. I would be the type of person that could do that.

[E]

It's not only him. Like, she has to be prepared that anytime he says, let me look in your briefcase, she has to let him, no matter what. Hey, let me see her email. For no reason. He could have no reason. But she has to be able to say, sure, hey, let me look at you.

[D]

Because that one time she says, why? Then it's the suspicion.

[E]

Hey, let's listen to your voicemail and speakerphone. Like, she has. She has to be okay with that.

[B]

I would not be able to get over, like, you know how I think guys look at this stuff physically and women look at it emotionally. Just the thought of him, like Jeff said before, being on top of my wife or them walking down the beach, and I don't. I can't remember where he said Saint Barts or whatever. Together, hand in hand. Just the physical picture of that. Oh, women think that stay in my mind so much that I. I couldn't get over that.

[J]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Good morning, Jackie. You're on the Burch show all the hits. Q100.

[G]

Hi, how are you?

[B]

Good. All right. Everybody was telling you to get out, but you stuck it out. And you're glad you. And you're glad you did.

[G]

Yeah, definitely. I mean, there's me and my boyfriend, been together for, you know, a little over two years. And actually going into the relationship, he was actually engaged, so already started off as, like, a rocky point. He ended up getting married while we were together. They have a little girl together, you know, and he was like, you know, I'll come back and get annulment. And so, you know, right off the bat, I was, like, completely hurt, you know, he was like, he's like, I'll come back. You know, just. It was. It was crazy. And so while he was gone on his honeymoon, this is like. People are like, you are crazy. I wasn't faithful. And he found out, and, you know, so kind of like a both situation where we were both kind of, you know, questionable. And even to this day, I mean, he forgave me for everything, but yet he still, you know, throws things in my face. Checks my phone, does all that.

[B]

Hold on a second. So hold on a second. So this dude, this guy was engaged to another woman, screwed around with you on that woman, you screwed around on him, and he's forgiven you?

[G]

Well, yeah, but, no, I trust him as far as not cheating on me. Even though, yes, he did go and get married. I mean, he had a little girl, you know, they came back, got annulment, everything like that. But, yeah, exactly.

[H]

I'm like, well, do you.

[G]

I sit by your side through the whole divorce thing. I've been by your side through everything, and yet you still. I'm like the big bad guy, you know?

[D]

The feeling I have right now is, you know, when you were, like, in science class, and there's 10 minutes left in the period, and you just know. You know what? They're gonna keep talking, but I know that it's almost done, so I'm not gonna listen. I mean, no offense, but, yeah, I don't. I could recall a thing she said.

[J]

It sounds too exhausting. It just. I mean, to me, for Jason, it just sounds like a life of struggle and turmoil and questions and love of her life just untrust and. Oh, it just sounds exhausting.

[B]

Jason, we can find more calls to say, you know, that the boyfriends or the girlfriends or the wives. Husbands were screwing around and they stayed together, you know, and they're still together three years later. You know, I want to be the kind of person that admires that kind of strength, but I'm not. It just feels to me like you're just kind of a pushover.

[H]

Yeah, I'm trying to feel that, too.

[D]

I think if it's, again, about the reaction, like Jen said, if her reaction was completely different and she came to you first, or she said, you know what? I totally regret this. Please, let's figure out how we can make it work. And it goes back to what Jeff said, then she would be glad to let you see her phone, glad to let you see your briefcase. Look, I will do everything I can to make this up to you, and then maybe you can work it out because you both are willing to make something of it, but I'm not sure that that's the case.

[B]

Like, dude, you sound like you've got a lot of love to give, man. A lot of love. And you should get a puppy or a goldfish. Yeah, but it doesn't sound like one of those. It doesn't sound like she doesn't deserve your love. I mean, you've shown her for three years now how much you love her. And she's disrespected you for three years. She doesn't deserve it.

[H]

You're right, guys.

[D]

And one of the. One of the things yesterday on the women's panel that came up. Infidelity came up. Or, you know, and. And we talked about creating an environment in which it's okay for. And it wasn't even infidelity. There was some. Another issue that came up on the women's panel, and it brought up creating your own environment of acceptance. Like if you. You know, that's where in a. Relate. I mean, relationships are complicated. You either stand up for yourself or you compromise. And in this case, like, if you. If she's not regretful and you make it okay for her not to be regretful and you stay and you put up with whatever, then you've created an environment where she can take advantage of you again and it's going to be okay, you know, like, yeah, there.

[B]

I don't know what she's gonna have to do to you to prove to you that she really didn't want to be part of this, you know?

[H]

And I'm not trusting you right now. Okay, so it's like that.

[J]

It's that whole saying where it's like, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

[B]

Right?

[E]

And that other old saying, There's a sucker born every min.

[D]

Don't take a wooden nickel.

[B]

What?

[E]

That's a good one.

[D]

That's the most important one.

[E]

A stitch in time saves nine.

[B]

You know what they say. Early bird catches the worm. Jason, that's our advice to you, my friend.

[H]

All right.

[F]

Milk.

[E]

He does everybody good, my friend.

[B]

Good luck, dude.

[G]

All right, thanks, guys.

[H]

Appreciate it.

[B]

See you, man. Listen, it's the vert show.

[E]

Dude.

[B]

Did you order the new iPhone 17 Pro? Got it from Verizon.

[E]

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[A]

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[B]

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[D]

Get the new iPhone 17 Pro, designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever. Plus a new iPad and Apple One. No trade in needed. Offer ends November 5th with a new line on Unlimited Ultimate Best 5G Tours. Route Metrics the United States, 2020, 25. All rights reserved. Additional terms apply for all offers. See verizon.com for details.

[I]

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[B]

Sanjay Gupta from CNN joins us right now. Hey Sanjay.

[A]

Hey guys. How you doing?

[B]

Good. How are you?

[A]

I'm doing well. Thanks for having me.

[B]

The last time I saw you, we were holding the camera for each other, taking pictures with Bono.

[A]

Yeah, that's a pretty good intro, isn't it?

[B]

Isn't it?

[A]

We were hanging out with Bono.

[B]

We were hanging out with Bono. Yeah, it was only for three seconds, but yeah, we were together with Bono. Hey Sanjay, I'm glad you're joining us this morning because man, I am a prime example of somebody that fell into the marketing trap. And maybe you can give me more of a medical opinion on this. But you know, I'm watching these Lunesta commercials over the last couple of months and over the last, over the same amount of time, the last couple of months, I have just been having the toughest time sleeping. Like there's not a stupid amount of stress on me. I'm not Upset at night, thinking of anything really important. My mind just wanders from topic to topic to really superficial topics. And I haven't been able to sleep, I mean, probably two, three hours a night. And when you get up at 3:30 in the morning, you have to kind of be on your game. In a job like this, I'm willing to do anything to get like at least six hours of sleep. So when Lunesta came on and they said, look, you can use our sleeping pill, it's non addictive, you can use it long term, I got all excited about it. I went on the Internet, I did my research on it just to make sure it was true. Then I talked to my doctor about it. My doctor says, you know what, for your case, don't worry you're taking half a pill. It's only one and a half milligrams rather than the three that it comes in. He says, go ahead, do what you gotta do. So I started doing that and I guess I've been on it for about six weeks now. And from time to time I try to sleep without the Lunesta and it's not even a possibility. I don't get a wink of sleep.

[H]

Wow.

[B]

So I guess my first question for you, and then we're gonna talk more here about your special coming up, is, are these pills really addictive? And if they are, how can they market themselves as not being.

[A]

Well, you know, and there's lots of different pills out there. So, you know, I don't want to speak generally for all the sleeping pills, but, you know, a lot of them now, especially the ones that have come out most recently, are less addictive. When I say less on purpose, because none of them are designed to be taken lifelong. I mean, that is not the purpose of them. They're supposed to get you through periods of your time periods of your life when you're having difficulty sleeping, but then you're supposed to come off of them. It sounds like you, Bert. You know, let me just say a couple things. One is that morning anchors tend to have a difficult job no matter what. I don't mean to bum you out here or anything, but it is just you guys have the hardest job in the world of actually trying to maintain some sort of sleep schedule. Schedule, because the body's not designed really to be awake and asleep at these sorts of hours. Your cortisol levels are different. Lots of things are telling your body you should be asleep when you're actually awake and vice versa. So it is hard for you, which is why sleeping pills Maybe your doctor said that this might be an okay alternative for you. I take it you tried all the different things like blackout curtains for your house, for your room where you sleep, things like that, the good sleep hygiene, as they say.

[E]

Nitrous oxide.

[A]

What's that?

[E]

He has nitrous oxide balloons in his room. He uses those.

[A]

But, you know, just things like that before you go to the sleeping pills. We're a quick fix society and we are subjected to the marketing, there's no question. But I think too many people in this country probably jump to the pill first before trying things that might be a little bit easier.

[B]

What does long term use mean? Is that four weeks? Is that six weeks? Is that six months?

[A]

It usually means months as opposed to years and months as opposed to weeks. So they're not real specific in terms of long term, but long term, it could be up to six months, maybe even a little bit longer.

[E]

Dr. Gupta, how does Lunesta or Ambien or what's the other one? Isn't there a third one on the market?

[A]

There's Restoril. There's a few others out there.

[E]

How do they like, what changes do they do in your body that allow you to fall asleep?

[A]

You know, you have these neurotransmitters in your brain. You guys are asking good questions, which basically, you know, fire and they conduct signals throughout your brain, give you a certain level of wakefulness. What these medications typically do is sort of decrease the amount of neurotransmitters, either by the number or by the way that they actually work. And that's some of the differences in the different types of medications. Some of them actually take away some of the neurotransmitters and some of the medications make those neurotransmitters less so effective. And that's basically what happens. The key to these medications, what makes them different than generations past, is that they come into your body, work right away, and then when they're done working, they're out of your body. So they have what's called a very short half life. So they don't, they don't make you groggy. They're not supposed to make you groggy the next day like a Valium water or some of the older generation medications.

[J]

What are some of the warnings they give you when you get on a medication like that?

[A]

Well, you know, it's interesting for the most part, they talk about some physical side effects, like you might have dry mouth, you might have headaches. Sometimes people get nausea or vomiting. What's been Fascinating lately, and you guys have probably heard about this, is that one of the medications, Ambien has come under some criticism recently for a very small study from Minnesota talking about the fact that in your brain, the area where you sleep and the area where you eat, those areas of the brain are kind of close together. So people are having these bizarre sort of sleep eating episodes while on Ambien. This one woman who actually, you know, completely asleep, walked down the stairs, went to her oven, turned it up to 500 degrees, cooked a meal, ate it, went back upstairs, and the next morning accused her housekeepers of stealing her food. She had no recollection of this happening at all. And it's rare. You know, the majority of people listening who ever taken a sleeping pill are not going to have these sorts of of problems. But there are some side effects to, you know, with any medication you got, you gotta sorta be concerned about.

[B]

Ambien may be a little bit of a different deal too. Cause actually I saw this on CNN yesterday, but the volume was down, so I don't know if it wasthis was part of your report or not. But like, people are using Ambien now as almost like a recreational drug where their sex is better, where they like the high of the Ambien, they're not using it to go to sleep, but they like the dizzy feel that it gives them. So it's very dangerous that way also, right?

[A]

It is. It can be. It can be for some people. And what's striking to me as we're working on this special, Bert, as we travel around the country, is the number of young people that have started taking sleeping pills regularly, even in high school, even in grade school. That's a bit concerning. And I don't know if it's actually for sleep or to some extent there's this recreational component to it. But obviously that's concerning. I mean, we never took any. I mean, it was unheard of for someone who was a kid, when I was a kid, to take a sleeping pill. That's just. It sounded kind of crazy.

[B]

You did a very interesting kind of self test on yourself also where you stayed up 30 straight hours and realized that's the kind of effect that sleep deprivation can have on you. Can you tell everybody about that?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. It was interesting. I wanted to sort of put it to the test myself and as a doc, you know, I mean, we went through residency training and you have a lot of people who have problems with that while they're, you know, in terms of lack of sleep. But I Wanted to see. You know, I flew the 747 simulator, which is just like flying a plane. I mean, it is an amazing simulator. I did it out at NASA and in San Francisco, and then I basically sleep deprived myself for 30 hours and did it again after having gone through all the instruction and all the training. What was remarkable to me is when I came back in 30 hours later, I was obviously tired, but I was kind of like charged up to do this, you know, this pretty cool simulator thing again. It was amazing how many of sort of the just takeoff sequences and things like that that I sort of had memorized and thought I had down pat that I had forgotten or I just couldn't recall as quickly. Certainly not quickly enough to be flying a plane safely. And also just the mechanics of it, you know, keeping the nose sort of flat and level as I'm cruising across the horizon at 600 miles an hour. I was having a harder time just doing that. I really had to exercise some effort to do that. And I think it just shows, you know, people drive on very little sleep. You have 80 to 100,000 crashes a year because of drowsy driving people. It's not a drop of alcohol. There's been concerns about pilots and doctors as well, you know, as I mentioned.

[B]

Yeah. There's the irony in the whole thing, Dr. Gupta, is that I think in your industry, it's notorious for these interns to be staying up, I mean, for 30 straight hours, or doctors, 30 straight hours.

[E]

It's a good thing they're not landing.

[B]

A plane and doing procedures on people, too, you know. Yeah.

[A]

You know, and, you know, the honest, honestly, you know, having been in this medical industry for a long time, you know, it's one of those things where I don't see. I haven't seen the consequences, you know, the bad sort of outcomes as a result of lack of sleep. I just haven't seen that. But certainly you worry about it every single day. And, you know, it's part of the reason the nation as a whole has tried to restrict work hours for residents. And, you know, when I was a resident in neurosurgery, you know, working 100, 110 hours a week was. Was not uncommon. And now, you know, the federal law, national law says residents can work no more than 80 hours a week. And it's targeting this very issue.

[B]

Couple of questions coming in for you. Boy, Susan can speak for me here. Hey, Susan.

[H]

Hi.

[G]

Hi. Good morning, everybody. I have to say that, first of all, I am addicted to Ambien. I Think I've been on Ambien probably about a year, two years, and now I'm doing Ambien cr. And just yesterday I called up and was like my pharmacist to make sure that I had another refill. I need to get off of it. My sleep is not great. And now I'm trying to figure out if it's more of a physical addiction or if it's really just a mental addiction, because I cannot sleep, quote, unquote, without it. So what are the best recommendations, Dr. Gupta, that you could recommend to kind of get myself off of it, Feel refreshed. Because I don't even feel refreshed anymore, even after taking and the ncr.

[A]

That's an important point right there. So it sounds like it's probably not working as well for you as it once did. You're not supposed to develop an addiction to this medication, which I'm not saying that you haven't, but it's physically not supposed to be addictive, nor are you supposed to develop that much of a tolerance. How much are you taking?

[G]

I'm just taking one.

[A]

I think 10 milligrams.

[G]

I think it's more.

[H]

10 milligrams. What?

[A]

10 milligrams?

[G]

I think it's 10 milligrams. Is it? Yeah, I think it's 10 milligams.

[A]

One thing you could try doing in a lot of of people do with all sorts of medications is just sort of trying to wean yourself down. So some of those 10 milligram tablets are scored, you know, so you can actually break it in half. And you may want to just do that and start trying to take progressively lower doses and see if you can get yourself off that way. Sometimes with any medication, either for mental or for whatever reason, they are hard to come off of. If you wean yourself off of it, you might have much better loss.

[G]

Okay, thank you so much. Good morning, everybody. Have a good day.

[D]

Good morning.

[B]

Thanks, Susan. Aaron with a comment also Good morning, Aaron. You are on with CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta.

[G]

Hi. I was just calling to say I graduated last year from high school, and I just heard a comment that he made about younger people starting to get into all these sleeping pills. And I just remember everybody was looking for Ambiens all the time. It's so popular now with high school.

[A]

Why was that? Was it they wanted to sleep or was it more of the recreation?

[G]

No, they were taking it. They were skipping school. I mean, I skipped school a lot myself. Skipping school and sleeping all the time. Popping them in at 10 o' clock in the morning and just staying up all day, you know, just feeling it, you know.

[B]

Yeah. I could tell you because I was taking Ambien before I was taking Lunesta. And before you go to sleep, what it does is it kind of gives you this almost buzz, like, drunk, like feeling. You're almost stoned on it, where your balance isn't quite right and you're almost in this, like, high, almost dreamlike state before you go to sleep. And you can force yourself to stay awake and continue that high or you can go to sleep on it.

[E]

I think kids are just lazier these days. And now when they skip school and they get some drugs, they just want a nap.

[D]

Well, no, I mean, I agree with Burt, because when I was on dialysis, that messes up your sleep pattern. And so I was prescribed Ambien to help me get a consistent sleep when I was sick.

[C]

And.

[D]

And that was the joke before I would fall asleep is the fact of how I was acting and loopy and drunk and acting stoned and all this stuff right before I went to sleep. And it was. I can see what the draw is to that drug because it is a fun feeling before you go to sleep.

[J]

Dr. Gupta, you said earlier in the conversation that a lot of people jump to these pills quickly without doing some of the other things that can help you get to sleep. What are those other things?

[A]

Well, you know, they talk about things like a good sleep hygiene. And it's funny, even as I talk about that, people are like, ah, it's not going to work for me. And then it's sort of amazing when you talk about things like getting all the distractions out of your bedroom, setting your thermostat between 66 and 70. For you guys who have to go to bed earlier, getting blackout curtains so you can really knock any visual light stimulation into your eyes, which can keep you awake, things like that. The reason I bring them up is because every sleep specialist we talked to said, you know what? You got to use that because it works. Works for the vast majority of people. Now, other things, you know, in terms of, you know, if there are particular concerns or worries that you have, writing those down, sometimes recording those. Even we had. We have a woman that we follow along in our sleep special who is a total skeptic of all these types of techniques. And we got her on a sleep schedule that ends up working very well for her. She has two kids. She works in a busy ENT clinic. She has lots of concerns and worries at the end of the day and then she's got to cook meals for her kids at night and everything. Just a busy life. But now she's sleeping seven to eight hours a night and she's pretty pleased with it because of some pretty simple non medication related techniques.

[B]

Dr. Gupta, long term, when you're not getting eight hours of sleep, let's say you're just getting six or you're getting five, what kind of effect does that have on your body?

[E]

We don't want this answer, especially here in this room.

[B]

I know, right?

[A]

It is remarkable. I will tell you. Lack of sleep. One of the interesting things is we found that nobody really knows why exactly we sleep, but we do know that what happens if we don't sleep enough, and that is that, for instance, somebody who's chronically sleep deprived will have a higher likelihood of being overweight because their cortisol levels are different than the average population. They have a likelihood of developing more chronic diseases such as sleep apnea, pulmonary diseases as well, and heart disease, which I'm not trying to bum you guys out here, but these are some of the things related to lack of sleep. Also, just the whole process of sleep. I mean, this whole idea that you have these days, activities. We're having a conversation right now. And when you sleep tonight, you're going to lay down the memories into your brain in some sort of way that you can retrieve those right now if you're not getting enough sleep. You may remember this conversation a couple of weeks from now, but probably not a few months from now because your body just isn't able to to restore and retrieve those memories as well because of lack of sleep. So there's all sorts of different physical and mental effects from the lack of sleep.

[B]

Dr. Gupta's special is on CNN March 26th at 10 o'. Clock. And it's going to attack all of these issues. Do you have to take off real quick or can you take another couple of questions?

[A]

We can take a couple questions.

[B]

You don't have a brain surgery to do?

[A]

Actually, I'm running into the hospital here, but go ahead.

[E]

Well, first question, currently I'm on Ambien. Can you get me a prescription to.

[A]

No prescriptions over at the Burt Show.

[B]

Good morning, Ken. You are on the Burt show with Sanjay Gupta.

[A]

Good morning, everyone. Hi, Dr. Gupta. I was wondering about the use of Provigil as opposed to doing sleep products like Ambien and Monesta.

[B]

Now we have to explain what that is because that's what the doctor just gave me and I haven't tried that yet that is something that's supposed to stimulate you in the afternoon, right. To keep you awake.

[A]

Keeps you awake. It's a go drug and they've been using it for a while. They tested it in the military for some time for pilots who had to stay up for a long time, cross Atlantic flights, things like that. It's a different premise altogether, Ken. We're talking about keeping people awake as opposed to getting them sleep. And it's an interesting question. I mean, this has been a philosophical as well as a medical question. If we don't really know why we sleep in the first place, is it possible to just keep people awake? And there's a lot of studies being done on people who take this Provigil drug sort of chronically who are just staying up for 72 hours at a time and then maybe getting a night of sleep. And we just don't know the long term effects of that as of yet. You know, for me, it strikes me as one of those things where you sort of guess that probably isn't going to be good for you. We don't know exactly why, but it just strikes me as something that's probably not going to be good for you. So I'm personally staying away from it.

[B]

What my doctor told me, because I mean, Sanjay, obviously when you're not getting enough sleep, then you're tired during the afternoon. So what I was doing was I was taking diet pills to keep me up during the middle of the day just to get me through meetings. And my doctor recommended this drug, the one that our listener was just talking about it. But he said there's going to be a steep price to pay for this because, I mean, you're keeping your body up all day at a very high speed and then you're knocking it out at night.

[A]

So yeah, it's an interesting problem and we just don't know. I'm always a little reluctant to sort of criticize or endorse anything without knowing the long term results. But yeah, again, you know, there's gotta be some restorative effects of sleep on our body that we need. And that's important as kids, it's important as adults. The pro vigil might be something that's, you know, the context came up is what about, you know, college students who are studying for exams? What if they want to staff for 72 hours studying? I don't know. You know, are they going to be able to remember those things as well if they've never had a chance to actually lay down those memories? I'm just not sure.

[B]

March 26, 10 o'. Clock. The name of the show is Sleep. Right?

[A]

That's it. We spent a lot of time coming up with that title. That's what we came up with.

[B]

We love having you on. We really, really do. Whenever you have a special on or you just want to stop by Dr. Goop to please, please call anytime.

[A]

I appreciate that. Anytime, Bert. Talk to you guys soon.

[B]

And we'll also put a link up to the website, over to CNN and the specifics on your show.

[A]

Great. Appreciate it.

[B]

All right. Have a good day. Up for it.

[A]

All right. If you can.

[B]

All right. Thank you.

[I]

This is the Burt Show.

[B]

This is the Burt Show. So my wife and I have been having this debate about babysitters with our three and a half year old since he was like six months old. And because my wife was a teenage babysitter back in the day, she feels like it's perfectly fine to have a teenager watch our child. And I have stood my ground on this one and I have planted in firmly on it. And I will not give.

[J]

Did you never babysit?

[B]

I did.

[J]

You did babysit. But you wouldn't.

[B]

Part of the reason why I'm saying that teenage babysitters aren't responsible is because I was watching tv.

[E]

Hey, Chip, come over here. Have you ever seen a stone four.

[B]

Year old blowing smoke in the car? His face. Here is what I would like to do and I know that it's not fair. Okay? I could do this one of two ways. I could take calls on both why teenage babysitters are fine and calls on why you should stay away from them. I'm not looking for that. I am looking for shock treatment for my wife. Because I will not budge. I'm not even open to the debate of having a teenager watch our child. I am closed, closed, closed, closed.

[D]

You were robbing Hayden of the opportunity to have a crush on a teenage babysitter. Angela Bass.

[B]

He'll get that somewhere.

[D]

Columbia, Tennessee. My brother had the biggest crush on Angela Bass. She took good care of him.

[E]

Dude, remember Lisa Watson? I didn't so hire. He's not even gonna remember.

[J]

I'm still friends with my babysitter.

[D]

Of course you are.

[B]

It's the potential. It's a Hobbyville, right? It is the potential that something can go wrong with the teenage babysitter and they are not equipped mature wise to take care of your kid.

[J]

They take classes on that, dude.

[B]

Oh, man.

[E]

No, they don't.

[B]

Come on. Nine, ten of the teenage babysitters.

[J]

No, they take classes. There's babysitter courses. I took CPR. Look, there's a babysitter's club that will.

[B]

Certify you 90% of the teenagers just because I was.

[D]

I was a.

[E]

Here's how babysitter happened in our neighborhood. Hey, dollar, you going anywhere this afternoon? All right. Make sure Josh doesn't set himself on fire. It's not like. Can I see your CPR card?

[B]

There might be teenagers that are taking those classes, but 90% of the teenagers that are watching your kids have not taken those classes. So what I am looking for is support in my debate with my wife. I want to hear stories.

[D]

It's one sided.

[B]

It is totally and completely one sided. All right? I am looking for stories of how your. How the teenage babysitter totally screwed up her responsibilities. Because things can happen too fast. Too fast. I mean, with a child, things can go wrong in a millisecond. And a 14 year old, I believe a 15 year old is not equipped to deal with that situation. My wife does not believe that's the case. She was a great babysitter. She's just like Jen hobby here.

[E]

Well, of course.

[B]

She was everything.

[E]

She was a great, you know, like, I'm sure Jen thinks she was the perfect babysitter when she had kids. But you know what? Nothing went wrong. But you don't know how you would have reacted if that kid tumbled, you know? Well, you would have had your CPR card and your emergency numbers on the laminate around your neck. But the youngest teenager.

[D]

Yeah, I babysat. Nothing happened. One time, I mean, two little boys and I, and they survived. The parents came home and they're still alive. And I felt that was a badge of honor for having to babysit again because my kids freaked me out.

[B]

A little late to be finding out then.

[D]

I wasn't 14, I was more like 17.

[B]

So we had the girl that lives next door to us, Dana, watch Hayden a couple of different times. She's at that point, I think she was 16 or 17 years old, but her mom was literally 50ft away. And I was still not comfortable with that because even that even having the parents that close, things can go wrong so fast. So I have really kind of put my foot down. And when this issue came up on Desperate Housewives, we started the debate yet again this weekend. And I just want stories from people that I can compile this tape and I can actually play it for my wife so it never, ever, ever comes up again because I will not allow it.

[E]

So if you're a parent who's got a 16 year old neighbor who has watched your kid 10 times and nothing's going wrong. And she actually cleans the house while you're out and sometimes even bakes a ziti and leaves it in the oven for you. No calls. But if you had a 16 year old watch the house, and during the course of that they burned down the garage, the kid locked himself in the bathroom with the tub running and she accidentally gave him adult medicine instead of kid medicine.

[B]

That's what we're looking for. Good morning, Alicia. You're on the Burt Show. Hi.

[H]

Hey.

[G]

My sister got pregnant when she was 15 while she was babysitting by the kid.

[E]

She was babysitting?

[G]

No, that was my sister. But the kids were there when she got pregnant.

[B]

Well, who did she get pregnant by?

[G]

Well, her husband now, but he was 19 and she was 15 and she.

[D]

Had a boy come over wash his baby.

[G]

She had a boy come over and she. Yeah, did the mask and got pregnant.

[B]

Got pregnant while she was supposed to be watching the kids.

[G]

Watching the kid.

[J]

Now the kids are alive, right?

[D]

The kids survive.

[J]

Not only did they suffer any sort of long term, not only were the.

[E]

Kids that she was watching healthy, but she brought a new life to the world.

[D]

What is so wrong with that?

[E]

So far, Bert, your theory sucks.

[J]

Next zero to one.

[B]

Good morning, Jenny. You're on the Burt Show. Hi. Hello.

[H]

Hello.

[B]

Hi. You're on the Voice Disguiser. Go ahead.

[G]

I used to go into their liquor cabinet and drink their alcohol.

[E]

Now, let me ask you a question, Jenny. Did you ever give the alcohol to the kids you were babysitting?

[G]

No, I did not go that far.

[B]

Don't be ridiculous.

[E]

02.

[D]

Bert, were the kids still alive when the parents got home?

[F]

Home?

[G]

Yes.

[B]

All right, how many kids were you watching and how old were they?

[G]

It wasn't just one set of kids. I mean, like we would babysit for the whole neighborhood.

[E]

So how many, how many kids died under your watch?

[G]

No kids died under my watch.

[J]

Did anybody break anything?

[D]

No, they were multitasking, Bert. They were having a keg party and babysitting the neighborhood kids at the same time.

[B]

How many kids are you talking about? You babysitting at the same time?

[G]

Normally it was just one family. So if they had two kids then. Two kids. I mean, if they only had one then. I mean, it wasn't like we had like five families.

[J]

Did you ever get busted for drinking their alcohol?

[H]

No.

[J]

Did the parents come home drunker than you?

[G]

That's happened more than once?

[J]

Yes, that was my experience. Was that the parents would come home wasted.

[B]

Well, that's the reason why you have a babysitter there. Somebody sober that can be with your kids. So while you come stumbling in, they spend the night, things are fun.

[E]

I was a teenager.

[J]

They still had to drive me home.

[E]

Yeah, My concern is I don't want. I don't want anybody who can't drive watching my kids because they're gonna have to drive if I have, like, if I have kids and I'm going out, I'm not planning on driving anybody when I get home. So there you go. Drive yourself home. Have a nice day.

[D]

Get on your bike. See you later.

[B]

Hey, Sonya.

[H]

Hey.

[G]

Why isn't that good a perfect reason why you should not get a teenage babysitter? All right, I got one from down the street. The mother was literally 50ft away. Fortunately, I came home early to find that the babysitter locked herself out of the house with my 2 year old upstairs still awake in her bedroom.

[E]

What was he doing?

[G]

I don't know. She was just out in the car.

[E]

And what was your kid doing upstairs?

[G]

Oh, just up awake reading her or playing with her games and sitting up in bed.

[D]

Was he still alive?

[E]

He wasn't cutting himself or anything?

[J]

It's a shame.

[G]

Unfortunately not. But you never know.

[B]

So the line of acceptance. If the kid lives, then what is she doing today?

[G]

Well, she's in school right now.

[D]

Is she smart?

[G]

Yes.

[D]

Okay.

[J]

Did she hurt herself? Did she impale anything? Did she break anything?

[G]

No. I guess it was too much to ask that the babysitter stay in the house.

[B]

So how old was the babysitter?

[G]

Seventeen.

[B]

Seventeen. All right.

[D]

And Bert, to answer your question for me as a babysitter, yes, it is a very important detail that the fact that the child is still alive when the parents die.

[B]

No, that's the only detail for you guys. So long as the baby is still.

[J]

Alive, we are 0 for 4.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

Hey, jolly good morning. You're on the Bert show.

[G]

I got you. I got you, Bert. Okay, you ready? Brace yourself. All right. I had a 2 year old, okay? I had a 15 year old kid vouched for by every person known to man, okay? Everyone was singing the little girl's praises, all right? I only had to go somewhere from 7 o' clock to 10 o', clock, 7 o' clock to 10 o'.

[H]

Clock.

[G]

This little girl, 15 years old for a 7 o' clock to 10 o' clock job. She brings vodka, vodka to my house and not only takes of it herself, but gives so much to my child that my child Becomes unconscious. She had to call the paramedics. And when I got home, I got home, I was arrested for child neglect.

[D]

No way.

[B]

How old is your child?

[H]

Two.

[G]

She was two at the time.

[B]

Oh my. How did she.

[E]

Did she come through it okay?

[J]

Is she okay?

[G]

No, no. She got blood alcohol poisoning. But I mean, she still has to go to the hospital regularly.

[D]

Really?

[B]

Is that right?

[G]

Absolutely. She gave my. My. It was so much. It was like. It's not water. You know what I mean?

[H]

You don't.

[G]

You don't drink that much yourself. Why would you give a 2 year old that much?

[B]

And how old was the 15 year old?

[G]

Surely she's been drinking long enough. She brought the liquor herself. Surely she pay attention to the amounts.

[B]

Unbelievable. Now, did you end up like, don't ever do.

[G]

I tell everyone I know on the street. I tell everyone I know. Don't ever hire a child to watch your children. It's unfair. Because this little girl, she looked at me like. She's so sad. I'm so sad I did this to you. And I'm supposed to feel bad for her because she's still a kid? Don't ever do it to them.

[B]

I'm wondering.

[G]

They have no idea what to do in case of emergency.

[B]

Like, legally, that wasn't even an emergency, but I mean, it turned into an emergency. But legally, like, like, can you even do anything about it? I mean, here you hired the person, so legally you can't even like sue a minor like that, right?

[G]

Right now I'm still trying to. I still have to go to parenting classes, you know, to maintain custody of my own child. Okay. Because the court found that it was so absurd for me as an adult to hire a 15 year old. Like, what were you thinking? Ma', am, I'll never think it again. And I encourage no one else to think it again.

[B]

This is the only call I have to play for. Stacey is right there. Hey, Sarah. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show.

[G]

Hi. I was calling to let you know that kids do not need to babysit for the simple fact that my brother was being watched by a 15 year old girl and caught the house on fire.

[B]

Oh, good God. How old was the teen babysitter?

[G]

She was 15.

[B]

15 years old. They're just not equipped. I mean, they're just so young, like to be. To put the most precious thing in your life in the hands of a teenager. Man, I know it's been done a trillion times over the course of history, but I just can't do it. I just absolutely can't do it. And there are very few things in my house that I won't bend on. But this is one that I just absolutely refuse to bend on. That's the end of that speech.

[E]

Thank you for that call.

[B]

So there you have it.

[C]

You're welcome.

[E]

House on Fire Burt on a soapbox.

[B]

So there you have it. This is the Burt Show.

[I]

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[B]

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[E]

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[J]

Nice.

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[E]

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