The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)
Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, December 10 [Vault]
Original Air Date: December 10, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode of The Bert Show serves up a blend of signature morning show mischief, spirited group games, personal confessions, and a deep-dive into a dramatic relationship dilemma submitted by a listener, all delivered in the cast’s trademark real, unfiltered, and humorous style. The cast—Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and more—deliver both laughs and candid personal insights, creating a relatable, entertaining, and occasionally heartwarming escape for listeners.
Key Segments & Discussion Points
1. "The Bra Unhooking Showdown"
[01:36 – 13:32]
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Inspired by classic '80s movies, Jen pitches a playfully awkward contest: who among the show's men can unhook a bra the fastest, replicating the legendary pressures of youthful dating.
- Teams are divided: Crash & Melissa, Jen & Jeff, with Mandy as the real sport, volunteering her back-clasp bra for the challenge.
- The contest is filled with comedic banter, nostalgia, pokes at masculinity, and self-deprecation.
Memorable Quotes:
- “Like, is there any more pressure for a guy than unhooking a bra?” — Jen [03:52]
- “I feel like I’m in seventh grade.” — Burt [05:46]
- “I finally get to go up Melissa’s shirt. I’m not getting out fast.” — Jeff [06:01]
- “It’s so awkward. I wasn’t even close.” — Melissa [10:30]
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Results:
- Jeff demonstrates impressive skill, drawing both congratulations and friendly jabs.
- Listeners and hosts swap stories and tips, blending education with embarrassment.
Listener Tip:
- On how to unhook a bra smoothly: “Take your index finger, pop it under the strap, then middle finger and thumb… and it pops right open.” — Listener Jeremiah [12:45]
2. "Let’s Be Honest"—Anonymous Question Pot
[16:06 – 28:42]
- The cast pulls anonymous, squirm-inducing questions from a "Let’s Be Honest" pot, promising unflinching honesty with their answers.
Highlights:
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If you could have lost your virginity to anyone you’ve since met, who would it be?
Jen: “Jessica Simpson.” [17:14] -
Running Mate for President?
Burt, evaluating his castmates’ skeletons and personalities, humorously weighs his options before choosing Jen Hobby:
“I’d go with Jen Hobby as my Vice President. As soon as they dig up my past, you’re screwed!” [19:10] -
If you had to sleep with another cast member’s significant other, who?
Crash jokes: “Ryan. I’ve always wanted to do a rock star,” but Jeff quickly chimes in with, “Stacy. She’s just ultra cute and sexy.” [20:13–20:28] -
Relationship Reflection:
Questioned about past breakups, Crash admits the end of his relationship was “my fault,” citing how a near-death illness changed his life’s perspective and needs.
“I would put the blame on me, because I’m the one that initiated the change in momentum in our relationship.” [23:27] -
Private Behavior Confession:
When asked what private act she’d never do in front of the group, Jen admits:
“I can sit in the mirror for hours and analyze and reanalyze my eyebrows and every little hair on my face… I have, like, man hairs that come up on my face. So I’m always checking.” [26:51]
The cast riffs on “face pubes” and “nipple snakes,” ending the segment on a hilarious, self-deprecating note.
3. Listener Drama: The Super Bowl Ticket Ultimatum
[31:08 – 49:10]
Setup:
Listener Sarah’s coworker calls in about Sarah’s controversial plan to withhold her husband’s Super Bowl ticket in protest of his chronic failure to complete household projects.
The Situation:
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Sarah details a year and a half of marriage where her husband starts house projects (fixing a tile, cleaning, dishes) but never finishes them.
- “He starts things and doesn’t finish them…he’ll put his dishes by the sink and just doesn’t wash them.” — Sarah [32:51]
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She sees withholding the ticket as a means to “teach him a lesson.”
- “I’m just gonna give back to him exactly what he gives to me right now.” [35:57]
Feedback From Cast & Listeners:
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The cast is incredulous—Melissa warns, “You are gonna lose a great guy.” [34:30]
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Callers offer strong opinions:
- Annette (long-married): “This is gonna stink in your marriage forever if you do this over projects.” [35:44]
- Angela: “Matt is not your child. He is your husband.” [36:06]
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Sarah remains unmoved, supported only by her single/married girlfriends and argues, “It’s my relationship… I know better than anyone else how to work it.” [38:42]
The Twist:
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The cast reads an email from Sarah’s brother Kyle, revealing he found her hidden ticket, FedExed it to her husband, and her husband got to attend the game after all.
- “Long story short…he got the ticket and went to the game.” — Kyle (email) [44:52]
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Sarah’s shock, denial, and fury at the (well-intentioned) family intervention is palpable:
- “I’m so angry right now…to step into my personal space, into my house, without my knowing it. I’m beside myself.” — Sarah [46:33]
Aftermath:
- Callers reflect and poke fun:
- “Sad Sack Sarah. That’s what we’re gonna call her.” — Shara [49:03]
- “She better hold on to her man.” — Shara [49:03]
Notable Quotes & Moments
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Instant Nostalgia and Group Chemistry:
“This is like a surreal moment on the Bert Show. This is weird. This is worse than the football kissing game.” — Burt [07:03] -
On Growing from Trauma:
“After surgery…I was the only one who had that perspective of facing death and then coming out. At least it didn’t have that.” — Crash [23:29] -
On Relationship Overreach:
“It’s not a business. Honey, you don’t run a marriage, that’s just like the wrong way to look at it. Your marriage is a partnership.” — Burt to Sarah [46:40]
Section Timestamps
| Segment | Start | End | |------------------------------|----------|----------| | Bra Unhooking Challenge | 01:36 | 13:32 | | "Let's Be Honest" Q&A | 16:06 | 28:42 | | Listener/Caller Drama | 31:08 | 49:10 |
Takeaways
- The Bert Show delivers big on authentic, raucous group dynamics and a willingness to go embarrassingly personal in the name of entertainment.
- The “bra off” bit, and the honest Q&A, showcase the cast’s comfort with each other and their knack for spinning relatable, awkward experiences into collectively funny moments.
- The listener drama strikes a more serious, sometimes contentious note—casting light on control issues, communication pitfalls, and boundaries in marriage, all while keeping the audience engaged with twists and real talk.
- Throughout, the episode lives up to its promise: blending genuine humor, listener interaction, and real-life messiness, delivered with warmth and wit.
Best for listeners who love:
- Real-life drama and open conversations
- Humor that’s a little awkward but always honest
- A vibrant group dynamic that invites you to laugh—and squirm—along
