Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, December 31 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, December 31 [Vault]

Air Date: December 31, 2025
Host: Bert and The Bert Show Cast (Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others)

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Overview

This episode of The Bert Show spotlights the fun, drama, and real-life mishaps that relationships face, focusing on two main segments:

1. "Getting Out of the Doghouse"—What to do if you've made a major relationship misstep, especially forgetting Valentine’s Day.
2. “Idiot’s Guide to Marriage Proposals”—Advice on how not to mess up a proposal, with hilarious and cringe-worthy real stories.
   The show wraps with a jaw-dropping challenge where listeners call in with stories of the worst partners they've ever known. Throughout, the cast maintains a candid, humorous, and at times deeply empathetic tone.

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Key Segments & Insights

1. How to Get Out of the Doghouse After Forgetting Valentine’s Day

Timestamps: 00:39 – 14:53

Main Discussion Points:

• Many men woke up “in the doghouse” for forgetting Valentine’s Day, and the cast crowdsources advice for how to recover.
• Listeners and hosts share personal stories of being forgotten or slighted on special days.
• The consensus is that making up for it is rarely a one-day fix—genuine remorse and effort are mandatory.

Steps & Tips for "Getting Out of the Doghouse":

• Grovel—a lot.

  "Grovel, grovel, grovel, grovel until you can't do it anymore."
  —Jen Hobby (03:12)

• Do something selfless, with no benefit for yourself.
• Absorb criticism; don’t make excuses.

  "Don't say why you couldn't do it. Just be honest and go, ‘I am a moron.’ Totally authentic apology."
  —Bert (10:29)

• Avoid big, after-the-fact gifts like jewelry.

  "A handwritten note on notebook paper that says the right thing goes a lot further than a diamond ring the next day."
  —Jen Hobby (06:01)

• Double down on the next occasion—make it even more special ("You'd better hope her birthday is February 16th!" —Bert, 07:37).
• Show public acts of love.
• Plan a big future event (like a trip) and build up to it.
• Send daily apologies (e.g., flowers with messages over a week).

  "Consistent groveling."
  —Kristin (13:53)

Notable Quotes:

• “Is forgetting Valentine's Day that big of a deal?”
  “Absolutely.”
  —Bert & Cassie (03:19)
• “You just did something in total disregard of your girlfriend.”
  —Cassie (03:37)

Memorable Moments:

• Jen recalls her own experience being forgotten on Valentine’s: “I was ready to break up with him.” (02:11)
• Hilarious impressions of frustrated significant others. (04:20)

Listener Calls:

• Multiple listeners echo that fast fixes don’t work, and genuine, sustained effort is needed (07:02–14:15).

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2. Idiot’s Guide to Marriage Proposals

Timestamps: 15:02 – 29:50

Main Discussion Points:

• Staggering stat: 8 in 10 women are unhappy with their proposal story (15:04).
• Cast and callers share both “bad” and heartfelt proposal stories.
• Listeners help create a list of proposal dos and don'ts.

Rules for a Memorable Proposal:

• Make it personal and sentimental.

  “Just make it something special that she's told you in the past. Listen and connect it.”
  —Bert & Kristin (21:14)

• Do it in private (not at a party or in front of family).
• Have a real ring (not a bar straw).
• Pre-plan the proposal (don’t just wing it).
• Get down on one knee.

  “Take a knee, for sure.”
  —Kristin (23:29)

• Ask the actual question.

  “Four words have to be included... Will you marry me?”
  —Kristin (25:07)

• Pick a date significant to your relationship (not necessarily Valentine’s Day).
• If possible, ask her dad or a parent for permission.

  “Now that I look back at it... I’m sorry I robbed him of that. Only happens once.”
  —Bert (27:20)

• Never piggyback on someone else's occasion (graduation, birthday, etc.).
• Put in visible effort—sentiment beats extravagance.

Notable Quotes:

• "The wedding is the bride's time. The proposal is the groom's time. This is your time to shine."
  —Cassie (19:15)
• “If the proposal is boring, you can pretty much suggest that the sex life is going to be boring.”
  —Kim (26:12)

Memorable Moments:

• A listener’s proposal with pawn shop rings engraved with someone else’s name (19:23).
• Bad proposal stories include using proposals as last-minute birthday gifts and proposing with makeshift rings in bars (18:48, 22:21).

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3. The Most Evil Partners—Listener Competition for “Worst Husband/Boyfriend Ever”

Timestamps: 30:01 – 44:44

Main Discussion Points:

• Bert details the “most evil guy in the world.” (CIA lies, affairs, absent for wife’s cancer walk, neglectful dad).
• Listeners attempt to “top” the story with their own:

Highlights:

• A cheating husband who lied about being in the CIA, abandoned his wife at her cancer walk, and missed his child’s life (30:01–36:18).
• Callers recount men who left pregnant wives, lied about cancer, ran elaborate scams with multiple women, and engaged in criminal acts (36:47–43:48).

Notable Quotes:

• "How does somebody like that face themselves in the mirror every morning?"
  —Kristin (36:18)
• “Lying about cancer. I’m so sorry that we have so many people in the competition.”
  —Cassie (41:50)

Memorable Moments:

• Genuine shock and empathy from the Bert Show cast as listeners reveal heartbreaking and outrageous stories.
• Listeners and hosts collectively marvel at the capacity for deception and cruelty in relationships.

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Standout Quotes by Timestamp

• “I was ready to break up with him.”
  —Jen Hobby on her husband forgetting Valentine's Day (02:11)
• “You have to do something completely selfless.”
  —Cassie (04:04)
• “Eight in ten women are not happy with the way their men are proposing marriage to them.”
  —Bert (15:04)
• “This is your time to shine.”
  —Cassie, on proposals (19:15)
• “Four words have to be included in your proposal. Will. You. Marry. Me.”
  —Kristin (25:07)
• “If the proposal is boring, you can pretty much suggest that the sex life is going to be boring and unimaginative.”
  —Kim (26:12)
• “How does somebody like that wake up every day?”
  —Kristin (36:18)

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Episode Flow & Tone

The episode skillfully balances playful banter, authenticity, and occasional shock, moving from light-hearted relationship tips to sobering real-life drama. The cast’s vulnerability and wit encourage listeners to share candidly, deepening the sense of community and catharsis. If you’ve ever fumbled a romantic day, wondered how not to propose, or questioned if your relationship is truly “that bad”—this episode serves laughs, lessons, and plenty of jaw-dropping moments.

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Quick Reference – Timestamps

• 00:39 – 14:53: How to escape the “doghouse” (Valentine’s Day mishaps)
• 15:02 – 29:50: How to propose (including horror stories and dos/don’ts)
• 30:01 – 44:44: Worst partners—unbelievable listener stories

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

To deliver and set up customers new phones.

[A]

Wait, we're going on tour?

[B]

We're delivering and setting up customers phones?

[A]

It's not a tour. Not with that attitude.

[B]

Introducing store to door switch and get.

[A]

A new device with expert setup and delivery. Delivery available for select devices [e-mail] the Burt Show Lot of guys woke up this morning in the doghouse big time. And they're probably listening right now. We're gonna try to help these guys out from time to time. What we do is we put the Burt Show's idio guides together. Like the last time we did it, it was for what we did.

[C]

Well the first one we did was for to help Phil cuz he was traveling with his girlfriend for the first time. So traveling as a couple together for the first time. We've done an Idiot's Guide for that.

[A]

Proposing.

[C]

Proposing the Idiot's Guide to propose. And we did that as well. So it's just a basic, you know, a list of things that you just kind of need to know in order to help you, you know, do this to propose or to travel or whatever.

[A]

And in this case it's give guys advice on how to get out of the doghouse. So if we are putting the Burt Show's Idiot's Guide of getting out of the doghouse together for a guy because he forgot yesterday was Valentine's Day, or he didn't make dinner reservations or he didn't get flowers or chocolate or any or even acknowledge that it was Valentine's Day, what can a guy do this morning or this afternoon to try to get out of the doghouse? And we'll put this list together and we'll put it up on the website. But this has actually happened in Jen Hobby's case here before. Not this year.

[B]

No, definitely not this year. But in the past, my husband actually forgot Valentine's Day one year.

[A]

Can't do that.

[B]

Yeah, you can't do that. Yeah, he did.

[D]

He must have been on the road miles away, and you guys weren't together at all. And he probably just got distracted. Right?

[B]

I don't know what it was, but it made me fear. It was probably one of the only times that I was ever ready to break up with him.

[C]

Really?

[B]

It was back when we were just dating. We weren't engaged or married or anything, but I think it was maybe the second or third year that we were together. I don't know. They all blend together. But at this point. But. But yeah, he totally forgot. He did. No card, no candle, no. No nothing. Like, zero, zip, zilch. Like, forgot the day ever even existed. And then I showed up with, like, the whole Victoria's Secret thing going on, and I had the card and the candle and all that stuff. And I have never been more furious with him. I really, like. I look back on it and I get all mad all over again. And I really. It was so long ago. I don't remember exactly what he did to get over it, to help me get over it, but I stayed mad at for like, a good two weeks, and that's hard for me to do.

[A]

So is. Is. Is it a case that if in an offense like this, where it's so big that there's really almost nothing you can do the next day, it's almost a time healing thing.

[B]

Yeah, it's probably a time healing thing, but I would say grovel, grovel, grovel, grovel until you can't do it anymore.

[D]

Is forgetting Valentine's Day that big of a deal?

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

Yeah. It is a really big deal.

[C]

Absolutely.

[D]

Does really mean anything.

[C]

Please.

[A]

See, I'm assuming that it's too big even to take care of and get out of the doghouse today because we. Not one phone call.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Not one phone call of what you could do today if you forgot Valentine's Day yesterday.

[C]

I agree with Genevieve Gring, because if you're in the doghouse, that means you did something in total disregard of your girlfriend. You know, like you did not. Valentine's Day is like the ultimate. You totally disregarded her. Her feelings, her thoughts, her expectations, everything. So to me, there has to be some selfless act. You have to do something just for her having. No, you.

[B]

You.

[C]

You get no benefit from it whatsoever. I don't have a specific example, though.

[D]

Cut off your thumb.

[C]

But the thought I had is that you have to do something. Completely selfless.

[A]

The two items on the Burt shows Idiot's Guide to Getting out of the Doghouse would be grovel, Grovel. Grovel is number one. And number two is do something totally self. Selfless for your partner. For your partner.

[D]

Not gonna get anyone to call. Because if anybody did forget yesterday, right now their significant other is leaning over them going, all I do around this house, I take care of the dishes, I take care of the animals. I vacuum this place three times a week. I pick up your junk, and you can't even go to the Hallmark store and spend two freaking dollars on a car.

[C]

That's happened before.

[E]

Huh?

[C]

That sounds awful. That was a really good impression.

[D]

And that's been going on since about 5 o' clock yesterday evening.

[A]

Maybe that's one of the things on the list. Just take it. If she's ticked off today. Yeah, just absorb it.

[D]

I mean, how hard is it?

[A]

I'm trying to make a reservation.

[D]

All you got to do is pick up the phone and make a call and we'll go out to dinner. Is that that big of a deal? No, I don't think it is. After all I do around this house.

[C]

I put up with your crap in the garage. Every word of it.

[A]

I'm assuming, judging by the lack of phone calls and seriously on this show, we can ask for anything and we get calls, that it is such a big offense that there is no way to get out of the doghouse today.

[B]

Not. Not in one day. It's going to take a while.

[C]

Yeah, this is this.

[A]

It's that bad.

[C]

Well, because, you know, even like Jeff's example of Ryan being on the road and getting distracted, everywhere you turn, there is decoration for Valentine's Day. Every channel you turn to is a commercial for Valentine's Day. There is no excuse to forget yesterday.

[A]

All right, here come the calls now. Good morning, Jay. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[F]

Yeah, I got three words for you. Yep, one carat, flawless.

[A]

Jewelry may be the only way out of the doghouse today. Huh?

[F]

Hey, worked for Kobe, didn't it?

[A]

Now, let me ask you, Let me ask you women this though. Cause Jay brings up an interesting situation here. If you know that the present is simply coming from a place of I screwed up and I'm trying to make it better now. Does it even help you get out of the doghouse?

[C]

It is a constant reminder of the fact that you're not as important to him as you thought you were.

[B]

Well, I think it's just thoughtless. You know, that's the Whole thing with Valentine's Day is wanting somebody to be thoughtful. You know, I think that one handwritten note on a piece of notebook paper on the right timing that says the right thing goes a lot further than a diamond ring the next day. It's like. It's an afterthought. You're like, what am I, an afterthought? You just, like, you don't even care enough to think about it. Yeah, I mean, I. Yeah, it was really, really hard to get over when that happened. And I called my mom and I was like, I don't know if I can be with this man.

[A]

No way. Really? It was that bad?

[B]

You know how when you call mom and you tell mom about problems in your relationship, it's really bad because you know they're gonna hold that grudge.

[D]

I don't. I don't talk to my mom about relationships at all.

[A]

Really. Maybe that's one of the things we put on the list, is don't go and talk to your parents about it because it's a knee jerk reaction right now.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And in a week it may be okay.

[B]

Right.

[C]

This is. This is a list for the person. That's right.

[A]

That's right. That's true. 404. 741. 1005. The birch shows idiots Guide to Getting out of the Doghouse. Good morning. You're on all the hits Q100.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

Hi.

[E]

I just wanted to tell you guys what my husband actually did for me for Valentine's Day.

[A]

Is this to get out of the doghouse?

[E]

Well, it put him in the doghouse.

[A]

Okay, hold on one sec.

[C]

All right.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Good morning, Danielle. You're on all the hits Q100.

[E]

Hey, if he screws up on Valentine's Day, he needs to make the next birthday or holiday or whatever double. I mean, he's got to go way out of his way to prove to her, you know, that he's good enough to pull something off and to just make up for that Valentine's Day he's going to make the next hop. Next holiday or anniversary or something. She's going to make it crazy.

[A]

You better hope that her birthday is like, February 16th.

[E]

Yeah, and if not, then you're screwed.

[A]

Right? Okay, so double up on the next special occasion is what she's saying.

[D]

See, that makes me nervous because like you said, if the special occasion is three months off, that's three months of her in his ear.

[C]

Well, he should have never screwed up.

[A]

To begin with, but we're saying he did. So how do you get out? Right. Good morning, Rob. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[F]

Hey, I agree with Jen. It's going to take a lot of major sucking up and it's not going to be just one day. It's going to be a couple of weeks. He's going to have to do all the cleaning and whatever he can to kiss her but to make up for it.

[A]

So you just expect it's going to be days and days of groveling, which is exactly what goes with Jen was talking about. This is not going to be a one day project. 404741 1005. Hey, Elaine.

[E]

Good morning.

[C]

Hi.

[E]

So we always thought, my husband always thought we never celebrated Valentine's Day, but we always got each other a card. So last year he just forgot. I got him cards from the kids, I got him a card from me and I was waiting all day for my card. And finally I just looked at him, it was at night and I was like, you didn't even give me a card. He felt like such a heel that he. This year we celebrated Valentine's on Friday night and he gave me a diamond ring just because he felt so bad from last year.

[C]

Now, how did, Now I know you were upset last Valentine's Day.

[E]

My feelings were just hurt.

[C]

How did he get out of that? What is something that he did to help you not feel so bad about him?

[E]

His reaction was just. He felt so bad. He was so hurt that I was hurt. But it was enough. His reaction was fine.

[A]

Okay, that's important right there. The reaction, react. You better become like Sean Penn. Right? I agree. You better just put on an Academy Award presentation.

[D]

So saying Valentine's Day isn't that big of a deal anyways, is it? Is probably not the right answer.

[A]

Probably not. Jamie.

[E]

Hey. How are you guys?

[A]

Okay. How do you get out of the doghouse if you just completely forgot about Valentine's Day yesterday?

[E]

Well, I totally agree that just remembering the day to begin with is just the easiest way to go. But I think that, you know, doing anything that can kind of show everybody else how much you care about her, like sending her photos at work, doing things, you know, in public just to like really make her stand out and feel special, I think would kind of be a foot in the right direction.

[A]

All right, so your suggestion is like publicly, the day after, make everybody aware of just how much you love her.

[E]

Yeah, definitely. Kind of like, you know, and you can even play it off. Well, I didn't want to do it on Valentine's Day because Valentine's Day is every everybody's day. I wanted to give you your day.

[A]

I wouldn't lie. I wouldn't lie.

[C]

Come on now. Because women aren't stupid. I know that you know, sorry, Jeff, but women aren't stupid. Inside she's going to see right through that.

[D]

Women are.

[C]

That'll. That'll make it worse. That'll make her break up with you.

[A]

Good morning, Byron.

[F]

Yeah, I want to say bottom line, do not make excuses. Don't say why you couldn't do it.

[C]

Right.

[A]

That goes against what the last caller just said. Just be honest and go, I am a moron. Exactly. Totally authentic apology. All right, what do we have so far, Melissa?

[C]

All right, we have groveling. Two, do something selfless for your partner. Three, absorb the criticism. Give no excuses. Number four, we have somebody that says to give jewelry. Five, make the next event doubly important and exciting. The next is react in a regretful way and then do something to show love her in public.

[B]

I just think that we have to take the jewelry thing off the list.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Why is that?

[B]

Just because I think like Melissa said, it would be a constant reminder that it was just an afterthought. I mean, jewelry beforehand, jewelry thinking ahead is perfect. But at the same time, jewelry the day after, like the. Oh, I'm sorry. It's like I don't want the I'm sorry. Pearl earring.

[D]

What if it's so over the top though? Like, I mean, what if it is.

[C]

So, so big after Valentine's Day?

[B]

No, no, it's an afterthought.

[A]

Morning. All the hits. Q100.

[F]

Good morning. I have a get out of doghouse free pass.

[A]

Do it.

[F]

You want to know what it is?

[A]

I do.

[F]

Okay, it's after you've already forgotten you got to set up a trip. You admit you did it wrong, but you set up a trip that's in, in the summer so two or three months later and every month you build up on that trip so that it constantly builds up and gets to be a bigger and better thing.

[A]

So what you're saying is plan something a couple of months down the road and then slowly build the excitement up to it. Exactly.

[F]

So like a three day weekend somewhere and then you, every month you buy something that applies to that trip.

[A]

You guys agree with that?

[B]

It's thoughtful. I mean, it definitely shows that you're trying to put some more thought into it.

[A]

Is there a broader rule there? Then show some kind of over the top thoughts.

[D]

Like you forget one day, it takes 90 days to make up for it.

[C]

Well, I think it. Well, I think it incorporates the. First of all, he admitted that he did something wrong, so he groveled. I mean, he admitted that. And then he also was doing something selfless for her. So, I mean, well, of course he's going to be on the trip, too, but he planned something bigger for her and making the next event doubly important. The next event was not necessarily a birthday or anniversary. It was like, he may. He may. He created a next event to make up for it.

[A]

Kristen the Idiot's Guide to Getting out of the Doghouse.

[E]

Okay, first of all, I think that it's so commercial. We don't even celebrate Valentine's Day. We celebrate it the day after. Or like four days after, anyway. It's like to say that how could you forget this one day that everyone and their mother is saying I love you, I think is ridiculous.

[A]

Either way, forget about.

[C]

We're not debating Valentine's Day. We want to know how to help a guy get out of a doghouse.

[E]

Well, I don't think he should be in a dog house for not saying I love you or sending flowers on the day that everybody is doing it. I think that he should be honest and say, like we said earlier, be honest and say, hey, I didn't know, or I forgot. I didn't have time. But I think it's more meaningful to do it on a day that everybody is not saying it, rather than a day that everyone jacks up the prices for everything else.

[A]

All right, thank you. Good morning, Tammy. You're on all the history.

[C]

She's outside with a picket sign right in front of her.

[A]

Hey, Tammy.

[E]

Hi.

[C]

Hi.

[E]

I have an idea. Send flowers, like, for the next week, and on the first day, you need to send, like, a message. I am. Then the next day, so sorry. Then the next day, another message. That way. There is a definite conscious effort to send those flowers every day until you get your message out.

[B]

I think that that's good because that's consistent groveling.

[D]

But isn't that letting everybody in the office know that you forgot?

[A]

Well, it's not.

[C]

Well, she's gonna let people know that you forgot.

[A]

Yeah, they're gonna know either way. But again, that goes under the rule of you gotta show something with some incredible thought to it afterwards. You gotta go over the top.

[B]

Right.

[A]

With thought on this one. And it's gonna last longer than 24 hours.

[B]

Definitely.

[A]

Melissa. Our list to go up on the website, how to get out of the doghouse.

[C]

And some of these may be, you know, repetitive, but it helps to get out of the doghouse. Grovel. Do something selfless for your partner. Absorb the criticism. Give no excuses. Make the next event doubly important and exciting. React in a regretful way. Do something to show you love her in public. And then the last two we had were, plan a future trip. Build up to that, the excitement. And last one, like she said, send flowers every day for about a week with pieces of the message of I'm sorry.

[A]

And a lot of people were calling up with that last one saying, put a standing order in it, the florist for like, the next week or two.

[B]

Begging forgiveness.

[A]

Begging forgiveness. So that might be a really great idea right there.

[D]

I wonder how. I'm sure florists are inundated with calls today. It would be fun to talk to a florist about some of the messages that are on the cards today.

[A]

Right?

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

The bird show. This is something that I actually brought up during the running of the Brides because there was a statistic that showed that, like, 75 or 80% of women, if you got them alone and you asked them if they were happy with their. The way that their men proposed marriage to them, they said no. They said no? Yeah. It's like 8 in 10 women.

[B]

So they didn't like their proposal story or they've, like, recrafted it to retell it or something?

[A]

Well, they didn't like. They just didn't like the way that their men proposed. Like, they were expecting something a little bit more over the top or something a little bit more romantic or something a little bit more special. You know, either way, 8 in 10 women are not happy with the way that their men are proposing marriage to them. And intern Jen here heard a story a couple of weeks ago, kind of hit my head.

[G]

It was actually a few months ago, one of my friends from high school got engaged back in the fall. And of course, the first question you want to ask the person is, how'd they do it? The second question is, what's the ring look like? But to me, more importantly, I want to know, what's the romantic, cute little story that he thought up for you? And when I asked her how he proposed, she was like, well, he came and picked me up, and we were driving around, and he just kind of pulled over and proposed. Oh, no, there was no story. There was no speech. It was just like, hey, will you marry me? And they've been dating for three or four years, so it's not like he didn't have time to think it up. And it's not like, it was spontaneous. He planned on doing it. He just had no plan.

[C]

He pulled over on the side of the road. They.

[G]

I don't know exactly where they pulled over, but I think they pulled over into a park or something. But he didn't plan a picnic. He didn't plan, you know, a speech. You gotta have something to go with there. I mean, nothing.

[C]

The only thing I associate pulling over for is either having to pee or puking. Not a proposal.

[A]

Well, let's give them the benefit of the doubt. Like, let's say they met in that park or it somehow holds something special. No, they didn't. Nothing. Not even.

[B]

And he wasn't deployed to Iraq right before that. Okay.

[G]

Nothing.

[B]

Cause I thought, you know, if you're leaving for the military or something, you had to get married in a hurry. Maybe I'd get that, not having as great of a story, because I understand that.

[A]

Hey, Adrienne.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Good morning.

[E]

How are you?

[A]

Good, how are you?

[E]

Oh, God. I know my husband's gonna be listening to this.

[C]

Well, maybe he should. If this is a bad story, call him out.

[E]

I was living in New York and he was here, and we had been doing the long distance thing, and we had known each other for a very long time. We had dated, and then we had just been friends, and then we were reconnecting, and it was just kind of decided, you know, come move down here to Atlanta and we'll get married. But there was never an official proposal. And then I moved down here. And, you know, he's a really practical guy, which is great. And he was like, I don't know anything about jewelry. Come with me and let's pick out a ring. And I was like, all right. And I had a family diamond that I wanted to wear, so I said, oh, and here's the diamond. I pretty much did it. You know, we did it together, but there was never an official proposal.

[C]

And you just. I mean, you hold that. And she gave him just. Well, he's a practical guy. No, don't make excuses for him. He kind of, you know, didn't pick it up.

[B]

I have a bad story. One of my best friends who got engaged, and I think they've since changed their story, but I was. My husband and I were the first ones to hear about them getting engaged. And the story was, well, it was her birthday, and I've been wanting to get engaged for a while. I've been thinking about, you know, trying to pick a good day and a good moment to do it. And I didn't have anything for her, for her birthday.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

So it was like an alternate birthday present. Like he was like, well, just go ahead and like kind of knock them both out at the same time and just go ahead and propose.

[C]

And she knows that.

[B]

Yeah, and she knows. But we were like the first ones they told the story to. So I think that the story has since changed. And of course I would never correct them, but we were the first ones to hear it. And I think by our reaction, kind of like wide eyed looking at them, I think they realize they need to change that story a little bit later. Oh, so sad.

[A]

Because you gotta. You can't shortcut this, guys. We can't shortcut this.

[C]

This is your time. This is the guy's time. The wedding is the bride's time. The proposal is the groom's time. This is your time to shine.

[A]

Hey, Angela.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

How are you? Good. Good morning.

[E]

Me and my husband, when he. Well, he didn't propose to me actually. We were at a friend's house. He had two chances actually, and he went and got my rings at a pawn shop. Well, that was fine, you know, and I knew we didn't have a lot of money and that we could do it, you know, get more rings later. Well, we were at a friend's house. He just hands me these rings. And his friend asked me, amanda, what is that? I was like, well, I don't know, because I was pissed off by that time. I was like, you know, I don't know. And so later on, about a week later, I looked underneath the rings. There was somebody else's name underneath the rings.

[A]

Oh, no. So he went to the pawn shop, gets the rings, and when he gives it to you, somebody else had their engravement in it already.

[E]

Yes. And so he actually. We actually went back and we got, you know, more expensive rings or whatever. And he did it the exact same way again. Just handed it to me. Never asked me to marry him.

[A]

Really. So that's. Here's the thing and here's how we're. We're figuring it is that guys, we need rules. We need a set. We need like a document to tell us exactly what to do and what not to do so we don't mess these things up. All right? And we started this a couple of weeks ago. The Burke shot the Burt Show's Idiots Guides. I think it started a couple of weeks ago with Phil.

[B]

Yeah, we did the Idiot's Guide to traveling with your girlfriend.

[A]

So I think what we got to do today is we have to spend a couple of Times to do the Burt Show's Idiot's Guide to Marriage Proposals.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

All right, so women call up and think about, like, if we're making this book and guys would pick it up and read it, like, the 10 things that they absolutely must know about proposals to make it really, really special for you guys. Do you have a good example to start with?

[B]

Well, I love my proposal story. My husband took me to a place that I had spent every summer growing up in my summer camp, and we hiked a mountain that I had hiked my whole life. And he proposed on top of the mountain.

[A]

So not necessarily the story, but what do we get out of that? Like, it should be something from her past rule as the rule to that as well.

[B]

One of the rules. Just make it something special that she's told you in the past.

[A]

Some kind of.

[D]

So listen. You have to listen.

[B]

Listen and connect it to a story she's told you in the past.

[A]

Okay, so that would be like the first rule of the Idiot's Guide to Marriage Proposals. You have an idea here, Melissa?

[C]

Well, it was based on the last caller who said her, you know, fiance or her husband had done it at a friend's party and just handed her the ring. My thing is, do it in private. Like, I. In some way. You know, whether. Even if it's in a restaurant or even at least it's private. Private between the two of you. And there's not anybody else in the.

[A]

Immediate vicinity, so no big family kind of thing. Like you propose in front of the whole family.

[D]

What about that diamond commercial where he gets the family together and they're all hiding behind the newspapers on the steps? I mean, he reproposes.

[C]

We don't have to put it on. I like that one.

[B]

It's a repropos. But I like. I like what Melissa's saying. I think something private. And then you go make the announcement together in front of your family.

[A]

Unless it's a special circumstance. Make it private. Yeah, that makes it safe.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Good morning, Michelle. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[E]

Good morning, everyone.

[C]

Hi.

[E]

Okay, you would think this would be common sense, but I guess not. Have a ring.

[C]

That's a good one.

[B]

There you go.

[E]

My husband proposed to me in a bar with a bar straw made into a ring.

[C]

Oh, dude.

[A]

Now, I guess on one hand that could be endearing, but on another hand, you're like, no, not at all.

[D]

Samantha in the bar. What was the bar?

[E]

It was a bar back up in Massachusetts.

[D]

Yeah, what's the name?

[E]

Small little Hole in the wall.

[D]

The name of it is gonna be very telling.

[E]

I don't even remember. Oh, the post office. The post office.

[A]

Post. Yeah, I got engaged at the post office. With a straw.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Nope. All right, so have a ring. That seems like the most basic thing for an idiot's guide to marriage proposals. R.J. good morning.

[E]

What's up, guys? How you doing?

[A]

Good, thank you.

[E]

Well, this is kind of playing off a little bit about what Jen was saying. I think a very important thing is planning. A lot of times guys are just out with their Budd. Yeah. I'm gonna go home and do it, you know. No, don't do that. Take a little time, put something together. Maybe run it past, you know, some friends or parents to, you know, find out if that's gonna work out and then do it. You know, it shouldn't be. Spur of the moment is good, but something that'll give a story that she'll have to tell, you know, friends, family, her children one day, I think is very important.

[B]

I agree with that one. Pre planning is a good one. Another one is take a knee.

[A]

Take a knee. For sure. Take a knee. Really? For sure.

[B]

Take a knee.

[D]

Good point.

[A]

404-741-1005 Good morning, Jennifer. The Idiot's Guide to Marriage Proposals.

[E]

Hi. Good morning.

[A]

Hi.

[E]

How are you? Good, good. Okay. My suggestion is my husband. We didn't have a really over the top proposal, but what I found out later meant more is that he took time out to study a little bit. About what? Diamonds. You know, the different classes of diamonds and the colors and all that. And he got a. He got a good understanding and gave me a perfect diamond. It's not huge, but it's perfect. And that meant a lot. I mean, you know, you can forget, you know, you get Alzheimer's one day and you forget how you were proposed to, but you can't forget the diamond you got on your finger.

[A]

If you hear that once you hear it a million times.

[D]

And plus, once you get the Alzheimer's, you look at your hands like you're seeing it again for the first time.

[A]

Every time.

[B]

Exactly.

[D]

You might as well make it one that you love.

[B]

Well, I'm not sure about the ending there, but I think that her point in doing the research on diamonds, you know, get educated, I think, is a good thing.

[C]

Diamonds, research. Thank you. Alzheimer's.

[D]

Look at that. I'm engaged.

[A]

Hey, Amanda.

[E]

Yes. The guy actually needs to ask the question.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Will you.

[C]

What happened?

[B]

Marry me?

[C]

Yeah. Did you not get that?

[E]

I'm sorry. My My husband got me this big old box with a bunch of his family's wrapping paper in it with a brick. And I turned around, I was like, honey, there's nothing in here. And he's down on one knee and just says, do I even have to ask?

[A]

Oh, no, you see, you gotta make it spe. You gotta say the words. Do I even have to ask?

[C]

Don't put me to the trouble of having to ask you to marry me.

[B]

Yeah. Four words have to be included in your proposal. And those are Will you marry me? The four words. That's simple, guys.

[A]

Seems pretty basic. Good morning, Jennifer. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[E]

Good morning.

[A]

Hi.

[E]

Pick a date that's significant.

[B]

Oh, that's a good idea.

[E]

Significant to your relationship. Not just, you know, the cliche of Valentine's Day.

[A]

Again, this kind of goes back to what Jen was saying about it. It should be sentimental in some way, shape or form.

[B]

Yeah, but a sentimental date, like the date you first started dating or the day you said the L bomb. Phil, what was that?

[D]

I. I had a friend who, I mean, still smartest man that I know, proposed marriage on April Fool's Day. So that at any point, if he decided he didn't want to get married, he could just say, oh, that's hilarious.

[A]

I bet she found that to be very, very funny. Hey, Kim.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Idiots Guide to Marriage Proposals.

[E]

Hey. Hey, guys. How are y'? All?

[A]

Good.

[E]

This is not so much as a suggestion as it is a warning. And Jeff, it's not because we're demanding. It's maybe because maybe a lot of men are lazy.

[A]

8 and 10.

[E]

And the warning is, if. So if the proposal is boring, you can pretty much suggest that the sex life is going to be boring and unimaginative.

[A]

Also, as a general rule. Now that goes with the statistics that we've talked about before. Also that 2 and 10, if they.

[E]

Can'T think of anything special on that, they certainly, you know, Long term marriage.

[A]

Yeah, it's the exact same statistic. Because you guys have told us.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

Right.

[B]

It's that 8 and 10 aren't good in bed. Right.

[D]

I'll give you one that Bert violated.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Don't do it in conjunction with another person's event.

[A]

Yeah, probably not. With Jeff is talking about is that I proposed after Stacy's brother's graduation. Yeah, it was the it. He had already graduated, but I proposed that night. We didn't tell anybody until the next morning. So I think that's probably good because you don't want to Take it away from anybody else.

[D]

You want it to be completely your. Your day. And ask the dad.

[A]

It's another one I violated.

[B]

It's possible.

[A]

I didn't ask the dad.

[B]

Some women don't have dads around anymore. So if possible, if her dad's in her life, if they have a relationship.

[C]

I think, mom, if the dad's not there, my attitude.

[A]

My attitude back then was, what's it gonna matter? It seems so fake that if I ask him and he says, no, I'm gonna propose anyway. But, A, he was gonna say yes, and B, now that I look back at it and I've become close to her dad, I'm sorry that I robbed him of that, because it's only gonna happen for him one time, theoretically.

[C]

And I just. Yeah, I just think that that's where. I mean, a proposal is where you think outside yourself for a guy. I mean, that may be hard for some guys, but, like, you. I mean, like, well, I'm gonna propose to her anyway. Well, you know, you think outside yourself. This is. This is more than just about you.

[A]

Yeah. Now that I'm a dad, I realize how important it would have been to him. I'm bummed I didn't ask him. Good morning, Camille.

[E]

Hey.

[A]

Hi.

[E]

How are you guys?

[A]

Good, thank you.

[E]

I just had a quick antidote. You guys remember Stepmom, the movie?

[A]

Stepmom was just on Julia Roberts and Susan Saranda, where he did a string.

[B]

Thing and he put the ring finger on the string. That was cute.

[E]

Yeah. And that was simple, but not too over the top or anything like that, but just really, you know, sentimental.

[A]

So something. It can be simple, but it just, again, has to tie into sentimentality.

[E]

Well, it was the words that he said, along with the fact that he dropped the ring on the string and pretty much said, spend, you know, the rest of my life with you.

[A]

Effort, effort, effort. Now, Phil here has a theory about his proposal, and I think you're walking down a. Another road to failure here. Another. I already know how I'm going to propose to whoever I marry. I already have my entire proposal planned out. See, look at. Did you see that reaction? Okay, see you there. No, it's like you got a paper cut in the eye. No, because this is.

[B]

No, that's like generic proposal 101.

[D]

No, you can't do it.

[A]

See, you don't know, though, because it is. It is probably one of the most, like, romantic spots I've ever been to in my entire life. And my theory is, with who I was with nobody I've just been there. It's somewhere I've been before, and I'd love to go back. And my theory is, if I. When I find the back bar at Peachtree Tavern, when I find the girl that I'm gonna marry and I know I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with her, we're gonna have. You know, we're obviously gonna have a lot in common. And I think if I find this spot as romantic as I do, that I. My hope is that she will too. I think you gotta cater it to the woman you're gonna marry. Man, you're, like, so focused right now. But I think. But I think if we both like.

[C]

What I like, if she's gonna be my.

[A]

It's a very. It's a. It's a very romantic, sweet, romantic. Okay.

[B]

Take her there on a picnic, right? If you guys have a great time there and it's something significant that becomes a sentimental part of your relationship in the future, then I would say it's okay. But you can't just take her somewhere random and propose. And it's like, fill in bride here.

[D]

And if you take one girl there, it's out for any future engagement.

[A]

No, I've never. I've never. I've never had a. Another female with me.

[C]

Stanford Stadium is not a place to propose to a woman.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

After the Georgia Florida game in Jacksonville. Consider it done. Hey, the Birch Show. All right. The most evil guy in the world. And I, once again, I challenge you. After I tell you about this guy, I challenge you to call us up if you know somebody that has more evil layers to him or her than the guy I'm about to tell you about. And this is really more Stacy's acquaintance than it is mine. So my details are a little sketchy on it. This is just what I remember about him and what Stacy refreshed my mind with a couple of days ago. And he even came up in conversation. I haven't thought about this guy in years. Because we were talking about the three day. The three day walk, right?

[C]

Yeah. Benefiting breast cancer that's coming up in the fall.

[A]

And I told you guys that Stacy walked in this and she walked with a couple of friends of hers. And it is a grueling, grueling three days. It is 20 miles every day. It is eight hours of walk. I mean, you train for six months for it, and you're doing it in the name of breast cancer and breast cancer awareness. So there's a tremendous strain during the walk also. So for Three days, these women walk. And when Stacy crossed the finish line, obviously, when all of these women crossed the finish line, their husbands were there with open arms going, congratulations. I mean, you slept in awful conditions over the last couple of days. Congratulations. Welcome home. We love you. Right? Okay. This guy decides. He tells his wife right before the walk, look, I'm sorry I'm not gonna meet you at the finish line. I mean, I applaud you for what you're doing. Congratulations. That's awesome. But, yeah, cross that finish line. I've got a boat to go. Look at that. I'm thinking about that. We should go by. So go ahead. Go do your own thing. I'm sorry. So right off the bat, you're thinking, what an ass, right? Well, she finds out later that he wasn't even looking for a boat. He was screwing around on her.

[C]

During the Atlanta three day.

[A]

During the Atlanta three day, he was having an affair in town. And used that time where he should have been with his wife, congratulating her screwing some girl down in the city somewhere.

[B]

You're kidding.

[A]

Oh, no. That's just where we start. That's just the start.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Go ahead. Were you gonna say something?

[B]

No, go. Go right ahead.

[A]

Okay. For five years, he told her that he worked in the CIA in such a covert position that he could not tell her where he was going to work. He told her that he was in computer espionage. And it was his job to go country to country and try to hack in to other countries computers, and also to protect the United States computers from hackers. And the only way to do that was to leave the country and do that from different countries. So if it was tracked, they couldn't track an American trying to break into foreign computers. Does that make sense?

[D]

Makes perfect sense.

[B]

Sure, sure.

[A]

She bought that hook, line and sinker. So for five years, when he would go on the road for a month at a time and wouldn't give her a phone number or anything, where he was at, he was having affairs all over the world.

[B]

Was he, like, just staying down the street at the motel?

[A]

No, he was in the CIA and he was in a job that took him from country to country. That part of it was totally true.

[B]

But he just got out of having to check in at home.

[A]

But he wasn't in a job where he didn't have to be accessible, so. And he even had another friend of his at the CIA act as his boss. So if his wife, if an emergency ever came up, the contact phone number was a friend of his.

[B]

No.

[A]

Who would call this guy around the world and say, look, your wife is looking for you.

[B]

That friend is a slime ball, too.

[A]

Totally. Okay.

[C]

Totally.

[A]

I think we've just now started to scratch the surface. And I swear to you, all these stories are absolutely true.

[D]

So now, unwinnable contestants.

[B]

Yeah. So you're challenging Bircho listeners to see if they can beat what level of jerk he is.

[A]

Right. There's no way. I mean, the phone lines aren't lit up. There's no way.

[C]

But that's not all.

[A]

We're not over. We're not done yet. Okay. So in between him being on the road and when he comes back, he gets her pregnant.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

She finds out years, or actually a year later, that while she was pregnant, he was also in affairs with five other women at the time that she was pregnant with their baby. And she found that out this way, that one of the women that he was screwing around with got so pissed about it that she ended up calling the wife, the pregnant wife at home and doing her own research and found out about all the other affairs and called her at home while she was pregnant and told her about all the affairs that her husband was having. And they tracked down no less than five other women at the time. Okay.

[D]

Giving them all the same story. Ooh, I'm in the CIA.

[A]

Giving them all the same story, even. So they. She tries to. There's a baby on the way, tries to work it out, sticks around with this guy.

[B]

Do they have children already at the.

[A]

Did not.

[B]

Their first child.

[A]

Their first child, by the way, they were like high school sweethearts, so they had never been. Or she thought that neither one of them had ever been with anybody else. So this is the only guy she had ever been with. And she was under the assumption she was the only woman he had ever been with. So they try to work it out and stick together. Okay. Six months after the baby is born, he leaves her for one of these women, takes off and leaves. So now they're separated and now they're divorced. He actually lives in Nairobi with another woman, but comes home every three months to see their child. But even when on the weekends or during the week, when he sees the child, he puts the child in daycare for half of the day.

[B]

Unbelievable, all of those stories.

[A]

Absolutely true. I'm going over my notes.

[D]

So he comes home for a long weekend.

[A]

He comes home for a long week.

[D]

Or a long week, has breakfast and.

[A]

Still has work to do at the CIA and stuff. So rather than spend the time with his son, puts the son in daycare even on times where he's not working, when he could be spending time with his child, still puts the baby in daycare. I don't know how you top it. I do not know how you top it, but right there is like, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I just gave you six different layers.

[C]

Oh, my God. Well, I hope nobody can. You know what?

[B]

A slime ball. How does somebody like that wake up every day? Like, how does somebody like that face themselves in the mirror every morning? I don't understand how he could do that.

[A]

I think it's a bit like the OJ Principle, where you keep telling yourself time and time again that you didn't do it or you're not doing it to. Where you convince yourself that it's really not going on and that's how you survive. Or you justify.

[B]

I don't know, you just lie to yourself so much, you just start to believe it.

[A]

Maybe. Maybe.

[C]

How does somebody get to that point? But anyway.

[A]

Hey, Sarah.

[B]

Yes?

[A]

You think you can beat this story?

[E]

Oh, totally, Burt.

[A]

Bring it.

[E]

Okay. Me and my husband got married right out of college. And we had tried and tried, tried to have kids. So we did fertility drugs for almost a year. And I got pregnant with twins. I was immediately put on bed rest, and he went out to celebrate with one of his buddies. Ended up getting in a bar fight and getting arrested for assaulting a police officer. So I had to go pick him up at jail at 3:30 in the morning while I was supposed to be on bed rest, pregnant with twins.

[A]

All right, that's one layer.

[E]

So I sit there, you know, for hours. So then I. Another time, like, I think I'm about five months pregnant at this time, go up to the lake with my parents, and he comes up there and says he has to go home early to work the next day. Fine. Believable. And he goes out on a date with this woman that he's met off the Internet. Well, she wasn't the first one. So he starts seeing her. Well, then a month later, I come home and he tells me that he's leaving me because he just doesn't love me. I'm six months pregnant with twins. So, okay, fine. You know, I start crying and I go into premature labor. So I go into the hospital, or I'm in the hospital for three weeks. He comes in there once a day, I'm in the hospital, you know, I'm 29, 30 weeks pregnant with twins, trying to keep them in and alive. He comes in, gets on the cell phone with his girlfriend right in Front of me? Oh, yeah. He would. He would say he's going out to the bathroom or going to get dinner or snack and go down to her house and sleep with her and then come back up. So I think he spent the night.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[E]

Yeah. Well, so I. You know, I have the babies, and he's like, oh, I love you. I'm like, yeah, right. Whatever. They're in the hospital for two weeks, and in this time, he's bought an engagement ring for his girlfriend. And I kick him out of the house because he threatens to kill me and the twins because he won't get off the Internet to feed them because I'm yelling at him to get off to feed the babies. So he gets off the Internet and threatens to kill me and the children, and I kick him out, and he moves into her house, and I filed for divorce, and he tries to take custody of the children, and basically he marries her and never sees children.

[A]

Wow. Wow, wow. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. If that's the second place, that's pretty close.

[C]

They must be related.

[A]

That's pretty close.

[C]

Maybe it could be.

[D]

Could end up being the same guy.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Hey, Cam, you think you got a worse story?

[E]

Oh, yeah, I think so.

[C]

No.

[E]

Yeah, unfortunately, it's my ex husband, so. Well, fortunately, it is my ex husband. Yes, yes, yes. He is a pathological liar, and I don't say that lightly at all. We got married when we were 18. Let's see. He cheated on me. I had two boys by him, and he cheated on me both times while I was pregnant. One time, well, I found out after I divorced him that the whole time I was married to him that he was going out with his buddies and having fun with some prostitutes. He has lied about having colon cancer.

[D]

Oh, you can't lie about that.

[E]

You can't lie about that.

[A]

That's bad karma right there.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

He told you he had colon cancer?

[E]

Oh, yeah. He's told everybody he's had colon cancer.

[A]

For what reason? Just for the sake of, like, getting the sympathy?

[E]

I think so, yeah.

[C]

How long did you think he had it?

[E]

I'd never thought he had it. I never thought he had it. So you knew he has diverticulitis. You can't eat certain things or your bowels are messed up. I don't know, but, you know, you have stomach pains and things like that. But he's been in jail three times that I know of, and the past two times have been within the last 90 days. He doesn't pay Child support, of course. This past weekend, I actually let one of my sons go over to his house and he tried to have my son lie for him because he had his girlfriend over. And the. Reese, he's married. He's already remarried. They've been married for seven years. He won't sign the divorce papers for her, blah, blah, blah. But when she had her first child with him, he came over to my apartment to supposedly pick up the boys and tried to basically hit on me or basically tried to rape me after his new wife had had his baby of two weeks. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, I could go on and on and on. And I know you guys only have to wait until 10.

[D]

I think the cancer thing puts him. It might be in the lead.

[A]

A totally different category. You start lying about having cancer. Yeah.

[D]

Lying about cancer.

[C]

I'm so sorry that we have so many people in the competition.

[A]

I mean, and the phones are just keep lighting up and lighting up, lighting up, which kind of sucks. In five minutes. We're gonna have to break down, though, and talk, thankfully, I think, to that InStyle editor about the celebrity weddings thing.

[B]

I think that we're gonna need it.

[A]

Yeah. Good morning, Russell. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[F]

Hey, good morning, Bert. How are you doing today?

[A]

Good, sir. How are you?

[F]

Fantastic. Hey, remember several months ago, y' all did a story about a lady who met a guy named Brad in a bar? He said he was the drummer for Three Doors Down?

[A]

Yes, of course.

[F]

That was my neighbor.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

This guy had. I mean, he was a pathological liar. Also, he had his wife and everybody in the neighborhood convinced that he was the drummer for Kenny Chesney. And I forgot who the other country group was, but he was having affairs. He went out and borrowed from a long shark in downtown Atlanta. $200,000.

[C]

We have loan sharks in Atlanta? No, I'm just kidding.

[F]

Oh, absolutely.

[E]

To buy.

[F]

Pay cash for a house in the neighborhood. He bought the house quick, claimed it.

[E]

Over.

[F]

Started writing bad checks against everything. He bought two cars, one for his wife, one for himself. He bought a motorcycle. Flying people around the country in Learjets, tunes, all these shows. And I don't know how he did it, but he was getting everyone backstage passes, even at the Country Music Awards, and introducing them to all these people that he was playing with. Supposedly he never played with them at all. Went to get more cash. He took another woman, who he was having an affair with to the bank to sign his wife's name. Got another $200,000 on the house Whoa. Then walked out and left his wife.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[F]

But he had everybody convinced. I mean, he had forged checks that were like paychecks for 50 and 60 thousand dollars that he says that they were paying him to play on all these albums.

[A]

These seriously are stories that are almost unbelievable. Like, you don't believe that this goes down in real life. Like, if it's a script of a movie, you'd be like, that's too unbelievable.

[B]

Yeah, they throw it out in Hollywood. They'd be like, oh, nobody will ever believe that.

[C]

Way too dramatic.

[A]

Who would ever believe that a guy could get away with telling his wife that I go on covert mission, so I can't tell you where I'm going for five years while he's having affairs all around the country. Five years.

[C]

I'm still. I'm still stunned by the guy who had the kahunas to be at his wife's bedside as she's trying to keep the children and calling his girlfriend right in front of her evil.

[B]

That's like the definition. Men are the definition of it.

[A]

I can't. I can't take any more calls. It's too much of a bummer. I was hoping it was gonna be a lot more fun than that. The first show. Looking for a last minute gift for your people? You know, your people, that weird bunch of friends and family that you love dearly. Well, here's an easy idea. Oregon Lottery holiday scratchets. Because your people, they're the ones that, amidst all the holiday crowds and endless notifications, help you find the fun.

[D]

Which calls for a little gift that brings big cheer.

[A]

Oregon Lottery Holiday scratchets. You know where to find them. Grab some today. Must be 18 or older to play. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only.

[E]

Call is from a correctional facility and is subject to monitoring and recording.

[A]

In 2022, I started talking to the men and women inside America's toughest prison.

[E]

I got life in 104.

[A]

Hearing stories of guilt, innocence, and everything in between.

[F]

He said, you're the youngest kid in my prison. Ever be in one of my prisons. He said, I want you to fight.

[A]

From death row cells to wrongful convictions, these are the voices you've never heard. What was your first thing that you were planning on doing?

[B]

Escaping.

[F]

That was the first plan.

[A]

1 min remaining stories from the inmates. Wherever you get your podcast from.