Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, February 11 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, February 11 [Vault]

Date: February 11, 2026
Cast: Bert, Melissa Carter, Derek, Carlos (HR expert), Carl (intern), plus callers

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into three engaging topics:

• Inappropriate and potentially illegal questions during job interviews, focused on sexual harassment and gender discrimination.
• Melissa Carter's reflections on coming out and returning to her 20th high school reunion in a small town.
• Parental anxieties about summer camp safety, especially regarding field trips and teenage counselors.

The cast and callers tackle these real-life situations with The Bert Show’s hallmark authenticity, humor, and supportive camaraderie.

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1. Job Interview Sexual Harassment & Discrimination

[01:02 – 11:44]

Key Discussion Points

• Bert shares a friend's bizarre job interview experience where an attractive female supervisor asks, "What problems do you foresee working under a very attractive female supervisor?" [01:34]
• The cast debates whether this question is just odd, inappropriate, or possibly illegal.
• HR expert Carlos calls in to clarify the legal ramifications and share real-life examples.
• Numerous female callers recount their own stories of sexual harassment during interviews, from explicit come-ons to inappropriate comments and after-hours emails.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert (on the interview question):

  “That’s just a weird question to ask in a job.” [02:16]

• Carlos (HR expert):

  "That question, not quite yet illegal, but it's totally inappropriate... you could make the case for sexual harassment with the way the question was phrased..." [04:31]

• Female caller Renee:

  "I was basically taken outside, told that I was a very attractive woman and that they can't really control their mouths... because they can't deal with another lawsuit." [07:28]

• Melissa Carter:

  "So instead of learning from the lawsuit, we want you to keep your mouth shut." [08:24]

• Bert (dryly):

  "I would love to make a living... just getting hit on in job interviews and suing people." [06:56]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:34: Story of the odd job interview question.
• 04:28: HR expert Carlos weighs in.
• 07:28: Renee’s unsettling interview dinner story.
• 08:56: Caller Jennifer recounts being propositioned post-interview.

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2. Melissa Carter’s 20th High School Reunion: Coming Out and Authenticity

[12:46 – 24:46]

Key Discussion Points

• Melissa recounts her nervousness about being openly gay at her upcoming 20th reunion in small-town Columbia, TN—even after 13 years of being out on air.
• She shares her experience coming out to a former classmate, Garland, and the emotional, affirming response she received.
• The discussion broadens to the universal desire for acceptance and the enduring nature of “high school feelings,” even decades later.
• Callers relate, including Derek, a fellow class president struggling with whether to come out at his reunion.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Melissa Carter:

  "Here I am... But the idea of my 20th high school reunion was really nerve wracking because I thought, you know what? I'm not out to these people." [12:50]

• Melissa (on Garland’s email):

  "If anything, you need to have a parade announcing your return. And if they say anything, I got your back." [17:36]
  "There have been few times in my life in which I have shed tears outside of a birth or death, but today was one." [17:41]

• Scott (another supportive classmate, via email):

  "Go to the reunion and have fun. Be yourself and don't let anyone stand in your way or get you down." [18:22]

• Melissa (on authenticity):

  "I think everybody has something... that they're hiding because they're afraid it'll make them uncool... I find the awkwardness more charming than you trying to, you know, put on that everything's perfect." [21:02]

• Derek (the show’s recurring theme):

  "You never, people never evolve from the ninth grade." [21:02]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 12:50: Melissa introduces the reunion and her anxieties.
• 16:09 – 18:15: Emotional exchanges with Garland and Scott.
• 21:29: Caller Derek relates his own experience.

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3. Parental Anxieties: Summer Camp, Field Trips & Teen Counselors

[26:04 – 36:07]

Key Discussion Points

• Intern Carl discusses his reluctance to let his young kids (7 and 5) go on summer camp field trips to places like Six Flags without close parental supervision.
• The cast debates whether Carl’s concerns are overprotective or justified, zeroing in on teenager (vs. adult) counselors’ ability to supervise.
• Callers share first-hand anecdotes including children left behind at parks, and a former counselor admits losing campers on his watch.
• A teen counselor calls in, expressing offense at negative stereotypes.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Carl:

  "My seven year old, my five year old man, I'm like, nah, you can't go to Six Flags without me... There's just so many distractions at that one particular place, Six Flags..." [27:31]

• Melissa Carter (tongue-in-cheek):

  "Baseball players hit .320 and you hail them. Like, way to go, 60. We're leaving with 57." [28:48]

• Caller Gretchen:

  "The ratio of teenagers watching my child is just too out of proportion... That's the exact situation that people would be, you know, some kind of sadistic pedophile would be looking for." [31:21]

• Carl (former camp counselor admission):

  "We lost one kid downtown. One kid fell out the van. All in one summer, I promise you." [32:57]

• Caller Laura:

  "They took him to Whitewater... they left him behind on one of the rides and he was lost... It's so easy for them to get left behind." [31:40]

• Teen camp counselor:

  "I am very, very highly offended by the accusations that teenagers and college students would lose your child." [34:31]

• Bert (wrapping up the shtick):

  "They're playing let's drop rocks on Jimmy while the cam counselor's leaning against the back of the cabin smoking, going, God, this is a great job..." [35:43]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 26:08: Start of Carl’s summer camp/field trip dilemma.
• 31:37: Callers share field trip horror stories.
• 34:31: Teen counselor defends her peers.
• 35:43: Bert’s humorous close on counselor stereotypes.

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Overall Takeaways

• The Bert Show blends humor and empathy to surface real discussions about workplace discrimination, the challenges of authenticity and acceptance, and the anxieties of modern parenting.
• Notable for its candid listener calls, the episode provides ample examples of how cultural norms around gender, sexuality, and child safety are evolving—but also the persistence of old fears and prejudices.
• Through the hosts’ banter and lived experiences, the show weaves in messages of support, authenticity, and self-advocacy, capturing why it remains a staple morning listen.

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Recommended Segments

• [01:34–11:44]: Deep dive into sexual harassment and interview discrimination, with real stories and HR expertise.
• [12:50–24:46]: Melissa Carter’s vulnerable reunion story—uplifting, relatable, and heartfelt.
• [26:08–36:07]: Parental debate about summer camp safety and the realities of trusting teenage counselors.

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In true Bert Show fashion, the episode is filled with real talk, raw honesty, and the occasional unforgettable one-liner—encouragement for anyone facing awkward interviews, coming out moments, or simply letting the kids out of sight for the first time.

Transcript

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[Bert]

So a friend of mine is up for a new job. Tough job market. So he's been going on interview after interview after interview trying to find the place he's going to work and for somebody to hire him. And so he's going back for, I think his third interview or second interview at this place. And so there's a fair amount of interest, Right. So he's all into it and things are cool. And the supervisor who was interviewing him this time or manager was a female, but not the person that he would be working for.

[Melissa Carter]

Okay.

[Bert]

So the person who's doing the interview is a good looking female about his age. He says, right. And standard issue questions. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Casual conversation about what he could bring to the job. And then she springs this on him in the middle of the conversation. Now, would you have any opposition or do you. What pro. This is how she phrased it. What problems do you foresee working under a very attractive female supervisor?

[Melissa Carter]

Hmm. Assuming he'd be so distracted he couldn't get his work done.

[Bert]

I don't know. But that's the way she phrased the question. What problems do you foresee having? So it wasn't like, would you have a problem? It's like, well, what are your problems going to be?

[Melissa Carter]

And that's just a weird question to ask in a job.

[Derek]

It almost sounds like if you, like if we checked with hr, that that would be, if not inappropriate, illegal to ask a question like that.

[Bert]

Definitely I don't think. Why would it be illegal?

[Derek]

Discrimination.

[Bert]

But what is, what's the discrimination?

[Melissa Carter]

Well, I mean, if he says he couldn't handle it, then would they ask a female applicant the same thing?

[Bert]

That's. I mean, if they do.

[Melissa Carter]

Because if they don't.

[Bert]

Discrimination.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah, but I was, I'm saying more than likely they probably wouldn't.

[Derek]

What was his answer?

[Bert]

He just said, I gotta be honest, I don't foresee any problems.

[Derek]

First I try to have sex with her.

[Carlos]

Right.

[Bert]

And if that didn't work, especially if she puts out, I think it's all good. I think that's what he said.

[Derek]

That seemed like a bizarre question.

[Bert]

Uh huh. Totally random and not really. I didn't think it was discriminatory, but I was wondering like what they were fishing for or if people like is it a question where they ask the question to see if like his instant response is a jokey ha ha, how attractive? You know, type of thing?

[Melissa Carter]

I wonder. I mean, would they have asked a woman that same question?

[Derek]

It seems to me like that is a question based on some history. Not with this guy, but in the office. So like maybe the last guy, I don't know, for whatever reason, it wasn't so much that he was working for a woman, but a really attractive woman. He just wasn't himself or he came onto her or something. Cause they're trying to obviously hire somebody that is the exact opposite of what they just had.

[Bert]

But you can't. Like if that's the case, then I don't think you can ask that question.

[Melissa Carter]

I just think it's a bizarre question. Yeah. To ask it all.

[Bert]

My thought is it was something because I bet I said because he doesn't know who his supervisor would be, cuz he doesn't know where he would be assigned or whatever yet. So my thing is, I think they might have a couple other questions in there that he couldn't think of. But I think in the course of the interview they just throw a couple of random, fairly intense workplace scenarios at him to judge his response.

[Derek]

You know, when we built the Burch show entourage, and we're always sort of building the Burch show entourage, like if you're an expert in a field, you just, you call us and then when we have a question about that field, we'll call on you, our HR guys on the phone.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Derek]

Good morning.

[Carlos]

Hi. This is Carlos.

[Derek]

Hey Carlos.

[Bert]

Hey Carlos.

[Derek]

Where do you stand on this whole thing? Seems like a bizarre question.

[Carlos]

That question not quite yet illegal, but it's totally inappropriate. Yeah. He could make the case for sexual harassment with the way the question was phrased and what.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah, in what way?

[Carlos]

Because he was saying attractive female. You know, they specifically, he's male, she's female. So they're actually implicating that, you know, either she's coming on to him or that he can't control himself. So it's totally inappropriate question.

[Derek]

You said something there that I just. You said something there that I found really interesting. And I wonder if we can get a call on this because you, you mentioned the word sexual harassment. I wonder if there's anybody listening that has been sexually harassed during the job interview. Like you haven't even taken the job yet.

[Carlos]

That's very common for people who make inappropriate remarks to extra dates or even I've heard in cases where they actually ask a person to put out on this.

[Derek]

On the job interview.

[Carlos]

Yes, I'm sure inappropriately. Yes. In the way they phrase that, you can. Wasn't direct, but you can, you know, imply that. You know, I had one case where the. They said we wouldn't hire a female because we have all male people and we don't want any females in here at all because they would turn the man on. So, yeah, there's that. That question I, you know, was totally inappropriate, didn't need to be asked and that format at all.

[Derek]

Jesus, look at the phones lit up with people that have been sexually harassed during the interview. During the interview. So if you get sexually harassed during the interview, you never take the job. You can actually turn around and sue that company for sexual harassment even though you never worked for them.

[Carlos]

There's a fine line you've got to understand. You can file a suit, first of all, on the eeo. You have to file a suit with the eeoc. Georgia, you would have to go to the federal. Georgia does not have a state EEOC. You file a claim with them. They have 179 days to make a determination. You can ask what's called for a waiver and go to your own attorneys. Normally, if it's a one, unless it's totally blatant, you're gonna have a little heart. If you have two or more, then you have a good case for it. So the answer is, yeah, you can file a claim or. But doesn't mean you're gonna win or it'll have merit. You have to be very careful. Everybody has the right to sue. Doesn't mean everybody's right when they sue.

[Derek]

Sure. Well, thank you. Really appreciate you calling, Carlos. You're always very thorough.

[Female Callers (various)]

Okay.

[Carlos]

Good luck. Bye.

[Bert]

I would love to make a living. I mean, if I was remotely physically attractive, just getting hit on a job, interviews and suing people, that's what I would do. That's what I would do for a living.

[Derek]

You're the hired sexual harassment gun.

[Bert]

I would go in, wait, and, you know, wait for the people to hit on me because if I was, you know, I would make myself irresistible and then they would come in and hit on me, and then I would turn around and sue them. Be like, ah, gotcha, Senator.

[Derek]

Phone lines are lit up with women that have been sexually harassed during the interview process. Didn't even get the job yet. Hey, Renee, you're on Q100.

[Female Callers (various)]

Hey, guys.

[Derek]

Good morning.

[Female Callers (various)]

I was calling to let you guys know that I went to a job interview. It was basically, like, initially sad right off the start. We met at the Capitol Grill Club, not even in an interview room, and drinks were served and I was basically taken outside, told that I was a very attractive woman and that they can't really control their mouths and can I work around somebody like that? Because they can't deal with another lawsuit.

[Melissa Carter]

So they can't deal with another lawsuit.

[Female Callers (various)]

Yeah, basically they were telling me that they've already been sued over a sexual harassed case by someone who worked for them and they couldn't deal with another one. So can I work with them? Basically making comments about me all the time.

[Derek]

So basically what they're saying is we got kind of this old boy network around and we make a lot of crass comments and we harass the women in the office. And I just want to let you know before you take the job what we're all about.

[Bert]

I think it's him.

[Melissa Carter]

So instead of learning from the lawsuit, we want you to keep your mouth shut.

[Derek]

We're not going to change. So you guys, you're going to have to conform to our sexual harassing.

[Melissa Carter]

Yes.

[Bert]

I think it's pretty interesting they brought her outside.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Like, get her out of the environment. So it's more. So, yeah.

[Female Callers (various)]

Took me drinks down a back stairwell while he could basically look me up and down and ask me these questions.

[Derek]

Thank you for calling.

[Melissa Carter]

So did you take the job?

[Female Callers (various)]

No way.

[Melissa Carter]

I was afraid of her answer, though.

[Derek]

I needed the money. Hey, Jennifer, you're on Q100.

[Female Callers (various)]

Hey.

[Bert]

Hi.

[Female Callers (various)]

I actually went to an interview and this guy was like 50, and he asked me out on the actual interview. And I kind of, you know, made a subtle comment and I was like, well, you know, unfortunately, I don't even have time for my Own boyfriend. Hint, hint, you know?

[Derek]

Right.

[Female Callers (various)]

And he was just like, you know, I guess he kind of, like, shrugged it off. And then like, that night at, like, 12, he, like, emailed me and was like, well, you still hungry? Are you hungry or anything? And I was just like, oh, my gosh.

[Derek]

So he took the email that you provided off of your application?

[Female Callers (various)]

Yeah. And he sent me an email, like, are you hungry? Just let me know, you know, I hope this isn't awkward. And I'm like, hello.

[Bert]

Yes, it is.

[Female Callers (various)]

So, yeah, thanks.

[Melissa Carter]

I'm sure during the application, they don't. There's. They don't think they're going to get sued for it. You don't work for the company. They probably don't see it as harassment. It's just a way to meet people, you know, it's unbelievable. Oh, this is a great way to meet the date. You know, got all of her information. She's coming in. I'm in control. I asked her all these questions and have no intention of giving her the job.

[Derek]

Hey, Melissa, you're on Q100.

[Female Callers (various)]

Hi. Hello, you guys. Good morning.

[Derek]

Good morning.

[Female Callers (various)]

I actually been sexually harassed before I got the job, but it was like. It was, you know, someone that hooked me up with the interview, but the guy that interviewed me actually said, well, you're very attractive, and got my information and said, oh, we're gonna have to find the paperwork. Come on, let's go. I'll go ahead and take you to the drug place to, you know, get tested and make sure you're clean and everything. And while we were on the way there, he was like, have you ever slept with a married man out of nowhere?

[Carlos]

Oh, no.

[Bert]

Oh, boy.

[Female Callers (various)]

Yeah, it's kind of awkward. And I was like, yeah, so how far is the drug place gonna go? And then he just cut me off and was like, well, so have you ever slept with a married man? He's like, you're probably too young, but, you know, you have a long time.

[Carlos]

To go out of nowhere.

[Melissa Carter]

And you got in a car with this man to go take a drug test?

[Female Callers (various)]

Yeah, I mean, it was with other people, but, like, while we were alone before we got in the vehicle, he asked me, like, provocative questions.

[Bert]

Dang.

[Derek]

Dang. That is bold.

[Bert]

There are people who are in companies who have, you know, built these things up themselves, and they will never be alone with. One of them's a woman, and she'll never be alone with a male employee.

[Derek]

That'd be sort of understandable.

[Melissa Carter]

Well, I mean, that's also safety from any kind of lawsuit. You don't know people, so.

[Bert]

Right. And we'll never and have had situations. Another one is a guy who's had situations where women have said like, hey, can you take. Can we go to lunch and talk about it? And he's like, sure. And then has his assistant or somebody else come and always be there.

[Melissa Carter]

Oh yeah, absolutely.

[Derek]

We could have done this forever. Phone lines are lit up with women saying, yeah, I barely even got in the door on a job interview and they were all over me. The Bird show.

[Female Callers (various)]

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[Derek]

Melissa Carter has a reunion coming up. Milestone reunion coming up.

[Melissa Carter]

Yes, it's my 20th high school reunion, and it's one of those that everybody thinks, oh, that is so far away. I'll be old when that happens. And sure enough, here it is. And I can't believe that it's already been 20 years. But it was last year I was class president. So I knew last year going into the fall that it was about time to start planning the reunion, because that's one of the jobs of the class president, is to do that. And so I started kind of getting in touch with some of the other class officers and some of the other people, trying to see if anybody in my hometown of Columbia, Tennessee, had started the process yet or if I was starting the process, so that kind of thing. Then I got really nervous about it because I actually wrote a blog last fall about the fact that being gay is there's always coming out somewhere in your life. I've been out on the radio for 13 years. Like the, you know, people tease me about being the outest lesbian in Atlanta, and here I am. But the idea of my 20th high school reunion was really nerve wracking because I thought, you know what? I'm not out to these people. I actually came to Atlanta when I graduated college so that I could be out. So I didn't. You know, one of the reasons I left Tennessee was because I'm gay. So I thought, well, okay, you know What? In my 10 year, I wasn't dating anybody. So when I went back, I didn't say anything, didn't make a big deal about it. Some other people had planned it, so I just kind of was an attendant and I went and had a good time, had a blast. But I never really, you know, everybody at that point at your ten year, they're not. A lot of people aren't married. People haven't really started their families yet, so it's not really a big deal. But I thought it wasn't like they had a chance to ask you too many questions. Yeah, because they thought, well, are you dating anybody? And I say no. And it was authentic. And they're like, oh, okay, you know, da da da has the house, Atlanta. So. But this time I am dating somebody. And I always said, you know what, I want to be authentic and I want to, you know, keep my character intact. And I'm not gonna go back like some scared 18 year old like I had been before. And I'm gonna go and I'm gonna be out and I'm gonna bring my girlfriend and we're gonna be at this reunion, but how is that gonna be received? So I had written this, again, this blog last fall and talking about this, and then I got in touch with our vice president of the class, and his name is Garland. And he contacted me back and he was like, you know, hey, it's good to. I can't believe it's been 20 years. Da, da da. And then he wrote in there, oh, and by the way, I read your blog and I had already published that blog, so I thought, okay, here we go. So I wrote him an email. Did you get nervous? I got very nervous. He went back to being 18 again, back to being 14 again, to where you just want to in our lives. It doesn't matter how old you are. You just want to be accepted as an adult. You just want to be accepted. Bert is losing his voice because sometimes he's out there, he could go home early, but you know what? You got to stay out.

[Bert]

He just Wants to be accepted.

[Melissa Carter]

He just wanted to be accepted.

[Bert]

No, I'm guessing the fellow named Garland has dealt with some taunting in his life.

[Melissa Carter]

No, Garland was the Denzel Washington of our class and still is. So I mean he was like the hot. He's Mr. Mcatie. Okay, so that's another thing a lot of times when you're back, when you resort to high school mentality, you know, here are popular, good looking people. Those are usually the ones stereotypically that are the bullies of the school. So I thought, well, Garland's a good indicator, you know, a handsome African American man, straight man, who. How was he going to respond to me being gay back in the day?

[Derek]

Was he that bully guy or was he a pretty cool dude?

[Melissa Carter]

No, he was a cool dude back in the day. I totally. He was like Mr. Politician Dude. So he was very, you know, he was able to be friends with all different groups of people. But I was a huge fan of his and I, you know, his opinion meant a lot to me. So it was last fall he said, you know what, I read your blog. Okay, here we go. So I wrote him an email back and I said, okay, this is my test. So I thought, well, let me go ahead and say it. So I said, you know what, I am not sure if they're going to let my kind into the reunion. You know, made a joke, oh, you should gonna let my kind in because you know what, now that I'm out on the radio, I'm sure plenty of people already know and that kind of thing. So. And then I hit send and I thought, this is it. So that was the first time I actually acknowledged my sexuality to one of my classmates. And so I was waiting on his reply.

[Derek]

How long did it take for him to reply? Because it must have felt like twice as long as whatever it was.

[Melissa Carter]

I think I left the computer and then it was a couple hours later I came back and checked and he had responded.

[Derek]

Was it always sort of on your mind though?

[Melissa Carter]

Like, absolutely. And I even told Katie, like, you know what he's gonna write back, we'll see what then it'll be a good indicator on whether I'll be welcome back to the reunion or not. And it's not really a case of which I would go back to the reunion because I would certainly go. But it's, you know, when you're gay or anybody, I mean it doesn't have to be gay, but anybody who feels out of place somewhere, you kind of want to kind of navigate the situation, make sure everything's Going to be okay. So he responded, and his reply was. And I have it in front of me, it said, if anything, you need to have a parade announcing your return. And if they say anything, I got your back.

[Bert]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Melissa Carter]

So I know. So I thought that. And it even goes further than that. So I was very relieved when I got that email and actually wrote another blog. Bragging about him. Wrote one just about him. And so I got another email back from him talking about this. And this is what he said. He said, there have been few times in my life in which I have shed tears outside of a birth or death, but today was one. I read the contents of your recent blog and was taken aback when I was the subject. I did not know that I was helping you find inner peace in your life's journey, but I'm glad that I made a positive impact on you.

[Bert]

Wow.

[Melissa Carter]

So. Still brings tears to my eyes. Because it is. It's just one of those things. Like, at least I know there'll be one friend at the reunion in September.

[Bert]

Well, he's just trying to hook up with you.

[Melissa Carter]

Well, that's true, because, you know, lesbians are hot. I know. But no, he authentically, that really meant a lot to me. And then it just started trickling down. There's another guy named Scott who Scott Rooker was a guy in school who I knew, kind of knew, but now he's like big military dude. Like, big badass military dude stationed out west. And so he read my blog, and so he responded to me and he said, here's what I think about you and the reunion. And I thought, you know, here's Scott, conservative, don't ask, don't tell. Yeah, exactly. And he said, go to the reunion and have fun. Be yourself and don't let anyone stand in your way or get you down. If people don't, like, like it, tell them to F off. You know who you are, and you have nothing to prove to anyone there. He said, I'll be there. I'll see you there. So I got Garland on one side, my Mr. I Got Denzel Washington on one side, and then I got Mr. Military Badass on the other side. So I'm going to the reunion. I'm going to be fine. Yeah, you are. Yeah. But I think. But I've held onto these emails, and then slowly other people have, you know, started emailing and, you know, and just not really saying anything about my sexuality, but at least just reaching out and saying, hey, I can't wait for you to come. I can't wait to see you at the reunion. And so even at your 20 year high school reunion, even as comfortable as I am with who I am, when you go back to your high school or your high school feelings or any insecurities you had, it's weird how it is still so, like, I do feel like I'm 16 or 18 or 14 or, you know, the tactics of hiding and lying come back into place where I can easily do it and I could easily dodge this and I could easily go back and say, oh, I was focused on my career and I never got married or make up some, you know, but I decided not to do that, to be honest about this.

[Bert]

That's awesome.

[Derek]

It's so hard to live authentically like that, isn't it?

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah, well, I think that, I mean.

[Derek]

The easy way to do it is like you say, yeah, I don't have to deal with it, create some character. But you're, you're, you're nailing it head on.

[Melissa Carter]

Well, and I also think that everybody is trying to be, be more than they are and that's a good thing in some ways and a bad thing in others. Like if I was going to try to be what I thought was more than I am, which is, oh, I'm successful and yeah, in relationships I'm fine and I'm straight. I'm a straight white American girl from Columbia, Tennessee, coming back and, you know. But I think everybody has something in their minds or in their hearts that they're hiding and that they don't want anybody to see because they're afraid it'll make them uncool, it'll make them dorky or awkward and we all are in some way. And I think that's where the real high school mentality comes in, is where you want to hide that awkwardness when you find for a lot of people, you, I mean, at least for me, I find the awkwardness more charming than you trying to, you know, put on that everything's perfect. You know, it's the mantra of the.

[Derek]

Show that you never, people never evolve from the ninth grade.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah.

[Derek]

I mean, you're getting older, but you still have all those feelings and clicks and wanting to be accepted by everybody else.

[Melissa Carter]

Right. Worry about what you wear and worry about who you hang out with and who's talking about you and. Yeah, exactly. And it's just, it just never changes.

[Derek]

Hey, Derek, you're on Q100. Good morning. Thought you were. Maybe you're not. Derek, are you there?

[Carlos]

Yeah, can you hear me?

[Melissa Carter]

Hey, Derek.

[Carlos]

Hey, Melissa, you're giving me a lot of hope right now. Honestly, I'm in a similar situation. I was president of my senior class, and I am not out. And my reunion is in October, and I really don't know what I'm going to do. But I'm just happy to hear your story because you gave me a little bit more strength today.

[Bert]

Well, you can borrow Garland and this military guy that beats fast.

[Melissa Carter]

Garland Scott. Yeah. Now, I think I also am aware when I go there that there'll be resistance and there'll be stares and there'll be people who won't be so nice. But I think for me, just, you know, not being alone, and even if I was alone, I'd still go. But it's nice to know that I won't be. That there'll be people there that at least I can talk to, because a lot of times at the reunion, you just want to be. When you walk in a room at a reunion and you may not be still friends with people or know people or recognize people, then you at least want to have a little group of friends that you can, you know, spend the night with.

[Bert]

Do you really think somebody might say something to you?

[Melissa Carter]

Maybe. I mean, it's.

[Bert]

What would they say?

[Melissa Carter]

Something unintentionally and more than likely people, if they really didn't like me anymore, then they would not talk to me at all. They would avoid the conversation.

[Bert]

Would people come up and try to save you or tell you what the Bible says, or would they be rude?

[Melissa Carter]

I'm prepared for anything sometimes.

[Derek]

Are these built up in your head more than the reality of it, or do you have to prepare for the worst?

[Melissa Carter]

When I was in high school, there was a rumor I slipped. You know, in hindsight, I slipped. And the person I was with, and I kind of. There were people that kind of caught on, and I literally put my tray down in the cafeteria, and the entire table got up and left. So there are people that will do that.

[Bert]

And So, I mean, 20 years. That was 20 years ago.

[Melissa Carter]

That was 20 years ago. But some people, if they stayed. If they stayed in Columbia, Columbia, Tennessee is a small town. And if they stayed in Columbia this whole time, that's the difference is the Columbia people. Now, Garland's one of the Columbia people. But, I mean, you know, I. But Scott's not, you know, Scott, you know who, you know, my military dude, he was still conservative in his values, but he went out west and he's just seen the world a little more, so he doesn't care. But people in Columbia Maybe. I mean, I love my hometown, and I love being there, but I'm prepared for it. And just to answer his thing, I think the reason I'm going and being who I am is for me and not for anybody else. And that's the difference in life is when you stop thinking about what other people are thinking and what you want to be and what you want to be able to say about your life when it's over, then that's what's most important. Not because somebody in Columbia is gonna say something rude to me, because I've heard it all before.

[Bert]

You know what's gonna happen? Because I've seen some John Cusack movies. Yeah. Some of those people from the table that got up when you were in high school are gonna come up to you at the reunion, and they're gonna sit with you, and they're gonna make it right, and they're gonna be sad, and then you're gonna fall in love, and then you're gonna hold a boomboom.

[Melissa Carter]

Wait, she's already in love. How does that factor in?

[Derek]

She's gonna hold a boombok over her.

[Bert]

You're gonna have a wedding. You're gonna have gay wedding in Colombia.

[Melissa Carter]

Oh, wow.

[Bert]

That's what's gonna happen. And everybody from your high school is gonna show up.

[Melissa Carter]

Has frozen over.

[Bert]

Yeah. Yay.

[Ad Caller/Advertiser]

Yay.

[Bert]

Melissa's gay. Welcome to Then everybody. And then John Cusack. And you will be at the beginning of the Columbia Pride parade. Hey, the bird show.

[Ad Caller/Advertiser]

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[Derek]

So intern Carl is a father of how many?

[Carl]

Three.

[Derek]

Three kids. And one of the kids, their ages are what?

[Carl]

Yeah, I have a seven year old, five year old and a two year old and the seven and the five, they're in summer camp right now and you know, they have all these activities going on. And you tell me I'm a little overprotective of my kids, you know, and I try to push them to make them, you know, be ready for the world whenever they get ready. But I'm a little overprotective now. My wife, she told me that they were going swimming one day in the summer camp and I've never let my kids go swimming without us being around. I was real hesitant about that. She said, honey, let them go. They need to learn. Blah, blah, blah, all right, whatever, go. But then they said they had, they had a trip to Six Flags. That's when I drew the line. Now how do y' all feel about that 7 year old?

[Bert]

You want me, you want me to tell you how I feel about Six Flags?

[Ad Caller/Advertiser]

Still no.

[Derek]

Scarred by our do you know by the way, sidebar, sidebar.

[Bert]

You should have asked me that question.

[Derek]

At 7am that's how Carl found out about Q100 and the bird shows. The whole Six Flags debacle a couple years ago. He's like, I gotta listen to those more.

[Melissa Carter]

Neither really.

[Carl]

I was coming down come from Douglasville and Tony was blocked. I'm thinking it's Freaknik. I'm thinking, what's going on? Freaknik 2005, whatever it was. But, but that's when I realized. Then I started hit hearing about Q100 doing the Six Flags thing. That's what really put me on to the station. I started listening ever since.

[Melissa Carter]

That's awesome.

[Derek]

I didn't know that. So that's our little sidebar.

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Derek]

But yeah, you should be thanking Six.

[Carl]

Flags, just not me. A few other partners too, but anyway. But yeah, my seven year old, my five year old man, I'm like, nah, you can't go to Six Flags without me. It's. First of all, it's too many people. It's the summer, it's teenagers working the rides, right? Yeah, but maybe it's a class of at least 30 to 60 kids and maybe what, five parents?

[Derek]

So is your, before we go on, just to get clarification, is your beef with field trips or is your beef with. There's just so many distractions at that one particular place, Six Flags, that you don't think the two chaperones that have been assigned to 30 kids can properly watch all of them.

[Carl]

That's my beef with the second part. With the second part. Right.

[Derek]

So if they were going to the Fern bank, two chaperones, 30 kids at Fern bank, you know, the museum.

[Carl]

Right. A little bit more controlled environment.

[Derek]

How cool with that?

[Carl]

I had a, I was real on the edge with the, with the zoo because, you know, you can run around and just get lost. Just the bigger the place and the lesser the shop. I got three kids, man. It takes me and my wife to handle those three.

[Melissa Carter]

No doubt.

[Carl]

So, you know, I'm not comfortable with 60 kids and five chaperones, you know.

[Melissa Carter]

So what's your fear? That one of them will get lost?

[Carl]

Yeah, one of them get lost. That's the biggest.

[Bert]

What do you think they're going to do is get back in the buses and go 57. Three of them are missing. It's going to be a bummer.

[Melissa Carter]

Percentage wise.

[Bert]

It's all right.

[Derek]

Baseball players hit.320 and you hail them.

[Bert]

Like a way to go 60. We're leaving with 57.

[Melissa Carter]

It's a good day.

[Bert]

It's okay.

[Derek]

But the element with Six Flags here is not only lost, but you got pools, you got water involved, you got riots involved.

[Carl]

Me, you got teenagers dealing with the kids and you know, camp, camp counselor, man, it's, it's not like 30 year olds dealing with these kids. We're talking about 15, 17 year old teenagers for the summer who just trying to get a buck.

[Derek]

You know, I might agree with you then. Oh yeah, like I assume that they were like 25 something years old. I don't know, I might agree with you, man. At first I thought you were just being a little too overprotective, but I don't know, man. If it's a 15 year old watching my 6 or 7 year old, I might be there with you.

[Carl]

Yeah, let's say 17 year old. I mean they may be, they may have an 18 year old over there that has a counselor.

[Melissa Carter]

I think you're being a little overprotective.

[Derek]

I don't know.

[Melissa Carter]

Now, I don't know if they were older, like if they were 10 and 8 or 12 and 10 or whatever, would that, would you have a different feeling about it?

[Carl]

Oh, if they were older, maybe nine, 10, I could deal with that. But seven and five, that is kind.

[Melissa Carter]

Of babies we have.

[Derek]

You know, Stacey and I have done this too, and I've talked about this where I just will not allow a teenage babysitter in my house. I just won't. You know, we've got a couple of. I don't agree with that either, but you do. I just. I just can't. I know what I was like as a teenager. I know what teenagers are like. And I just could never live with the fact that I put my kid in the responsibility of a teenager's hands. If something went wrong, I would think, why did I do that?

[Carl]

Right?

[Derek]

I mean, I was just distracted of teenagers.

[Carl]

What about. What about a teenager, A friend, A teenager of the family, A family member?

[Derek]

No, no. Hey.

[Bert]

There are 17 teenagers in Gloucester, Massachusetts who are more than prepared to be crimes.

[Melissa Carter]

Absolutely. They have a little packed. It takes a village. It takes a teenage village.

[Derek]

Kids can't commit. These were 17 girls. It stepped right up.

[Melissa Carter]

That's right.

[Derek]

Gretchen.

[Female Callers (various)]

Yes.

[Bert]

What's up?

[Female Callers (various)]

Hey, I just have to agree with this gentleman here. I would not send. I have a six and a half year old, so I'm pretty close to his same situation and there's no way I would do it. And here's why. Not only is it just the ratio of, you know, teenagers watching my child is just too out of proportion, you know, and maybe I'm being crazy too, but, you know, that's the place people will go when you want to pick off a child. Where are you gonna go? You're go to a theme park. You're gonna get this. The exact situation that people would be, you know, some kind of sadistic pedophile would be looking for.

[Melissa Carter]

Oh, that's scary.

[Derek]

That's a hell of a label.

[Female Callers (various)]

Yeah, well, that's the way I think.

[Bert]

So isn't that the name of your band in high school? Melissa the Sadistic Pedophile?

[Melissa Carter]

That was the second name then we changed.

[Derek]

Isn't that the name of the softball team you played last night? Right, Laura. Hey, you're on Q100.

[Female Callers (various)]

Hey, guys, it's Laura.

[Derek]

Hey, Laura.

[Bert]

Hey.

[Female Callers (various)]

Yeah, I am totally in agreement as well. I let my 7 year old go with some friends actually of mine that, you know, I mean, I knew that they were going to take care of my son, but they went with a bunch of other kids and they took him to Whitewater. And because there were so many kids and not quite enough adults, they thought he was with somebody else. You know, everybody thought he was with the other person and they left him behind on one of the rides and he was lost for like 10, 15 minutes, sitting there crying. Nobody, you know, nobody knew where he was. He didn't know where he was. He didn't know where everyone else was, and he was only seven.

[Carlos]

And it's just.

[Female Callers (various)]

I think the ratio of chaperones to children is a really important factor. I would never do it again just, you know, if I wasn't there or if I didn't know that there was, you know, one parent to every child, practically at a place like that, it's really important because it's so easy for them to get left behind.

[Derek]

Carl, how many chaperones? Oh, he'll remember that.

[Melissa Carter]

He'll remember that experience.

[Derek]

How many chaperones would have to go for you to be comfortable with your kids hanging out there? Six Flags?

[Bert]

70.

[Carl]

At least.

[Bert]

60 kids, maybe 70 chaperones.

[Carl]

I need the same ratio of. I need three to one. Three kids, one chaperone. I need that.

[Derek]

That kind of peace of mind.

[Carl]

But you know what, though?

[Ad Caller/Advertiser]

This is.

[Carl]

I never told you this, but me, my brother and my two partners, we used to be camp counselors when we were in high school. That's the reason why we lost one kid downtown. One kid fell out the van. All in one summer, I promise you.

[Bert]

Now, hold on. Hold on a minute. I would like to. To take this in a different direction.

[Carl]

A long time ago and ask you.

[Bert]

How the young man fell out of a van.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah, the.

[Carl]

The back door was open and this was. What was. I think his name was Tyrone. Real bad little joker. But he would never sit down, this little dude.

[Bert]

Sit down. Who falls out of a van.

[Carl]

Exactly. Tyrone, sit down. He's in the back of the van fiddling around. Tyrone, sit down, man.

[Derek]

Like playing with the latch.

[Carl]

Next thing you know, playing with the latch opens up the door.

[Ad Caller/Advertiser]

Bloom.

[Carl]

Bloom.

[Melissa Carter]

What road is it on? Was it on, like a heavy. Like a highway road, or. Where were you?

[Carl]

We were just on a regular residential road coming back to the club.

[Melissa Carter]

He's okay, though, right?

[Carl]

Yeah, Tyrone's good now.

[Melissa Carter]

Tyrone's all right.

[Carl]

Nice, strong. Nice strong soldier.

[Bert]

And that's the anger, where the anger is. You don't even go like, oh, my God, stop the car, Tyrone. You just go, tyrone, I told you. You don't even yell. You're just like I told you. You get up and slowly stop.

[Derek]

Tyrone fell out again.

[Bert]

And you pick him up by his. You don't even help him in the van.

[Melissa Carter]

I want to know where Tyrone is. Now.

[Derek]

He hasn't ridden in a van since.

[Carl]

But, you know, raising my kids around pit bulls. Yeah, that's a go. Take my kids.

[Derek]

Good morning, Q100.

[Female Callers (various)]

Hi, guys. I wanted to say that I am very, very Highly offended by the accusations that the teenagers and the people and the college students would lose your child.

[Derek]

Well, first of all, I made the distinction. I said teenagers. I will not let a teenager watch my child. You can be as offended as you want about it, but in my house, I just do not feel comfortable with a teenager acting as the parental figure in my home.

[Female Callers (various)]

Now, as far as with the summer camp. Summer camps are staffed with teenagers and college students. They're the people that are willing to sit and suffocate and sweat to bath in the sun with your child, but yet you don't want them to go. If that's the case, you shouldn't put your child in summer camp.

[Melissa Carter]

Which camp are you working at?

[Female Callers (various)]

Camp Best Friends Campus.

[Carl]

I'm taking my kids. But, no, seriously, though. I mean, I really. I mean, I respect the teenagers and the college students in there. Like I said, I was one myself. But it's those two or three that. That are over there. And you can name them, too. Couldn't you name that one teenager? But yeah, it's that one or two camp counselor who really just. Just trying to get a buck. And that's what I mean. My kid may be stuck with that. That guy.

[Derek]

And you don't want to risk that.

[Carl]

No, I can't risk.

[Melissa Carter]

You don't want your kids to like Tyrone.

[Bert]

They're playing let's drop rocks on Jimmy while the cam counselor's leaning against the back of the cabin smoking, going, God, this is a great job, man. Look at me, I'm hanging out in the sun, having a cigarette. Is that kid bleeding?

[Carl]

You sound just like us back when we was doing it, too.

[Bert]

As soon as I finish this cigarette, I'm gonna have to go handle that blood.

[Melissa Carter]

I guess I'll have to go get the first aid kit and then.

[Derek]

You don't even handle it.

[Bert]

You're like, first bird. You got your first aid kit on you? I don't have mine. Hector and I smoke the gauze pad, the bird show.