The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, March 25 [Vault] Date: March 26, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Jen Hobby, Melissa Carter, Bird
Topics: Women's body image & confidence, parental monitoring and teenage sexting, interview with Andre Benjamin (Outkast), "the dating game" for single women

Episode Overview

This lively episode of The Bert Show centers around three primary themes: body image and empowerment among women, modern parenting challenges when it comes to teenagers and technology (especially sexting), and a candid interview with Andre Benjamin (aka André 3000 of Outkast fame) about creativity and his stage production. The hosts also dig into dating advice for single women, using playful metaphors and even a live experiment. The show delivers a witty, authentic peek into everyday struggles and victories, blending listener stories, pop culture, and real talk.

1. Women, Body Image, and Self-Confidence

[01:00–11:10]

Key Discussion Points

• The hosts revisit a previous segment about how women perceive and compare themselves to others, especially in terms of body parts.
• Men admit to general comparisons (i.e., "he looks good") but not specific body part envy.
• The women reveal the deep-seated tendency to notice others' features they're insecure about.

Memorable Exchanges & Quotes

• Melissa Carter explains, "Yeah, I don't like a region of my body, so I naturally just look at other women in that same region because it's like a comparison." [01:37]
• Jen Hobby reluctantly admits, "No, I don't worry about my ass, so I don't look into other people's asses… I do." [03:16]
• Bird: "You’re justifying feeling good about one area by ripping on yourself for another." [03:42]
• Discussion on self-deprecation: "We would rather be self-deprecating than brag about ourselves." — Melissa Carter [05:12]

Listener Brag Segment

• The hosts challenge each other and female callers to say one physical thing they love about themselves without hedging.
  • Melissa Carter: “I'm Melissa Carter and my legs will rock your world.” [06:19]
  • Jen Hobby: “My name is Jen Hobby and I like my ass.” [06:33]
  • Callers echo with similar brags: “I love my boobs” (Jessica, 07:01), “I have great breasts” (Sarah, 07:03), “I have gorgeous hair, tiny waist, voluptuous hips, and my ass is absolutely fabulous.” (Rosie, 07:33)
  • Jen Hobby jokes: “I have a delicious, spankable butt.” [08:25]
  • The hosts comment on the rarity and power of unapologetically positive body talk.

2. Sexting, Teens, and the Challenge of Parenting in a Digital Age

[12:12–23:03]

Key Discussion Points

• Bird invites parents to anonymously check their middle-schoolers' phones for inappropriate content, spurred by news that 1 in 5 teenagers have sent or received nude photos.
  • "Listen to that stat. One in five..." — Bird [13:18]
• Jen Hobby shares a real-life scenario from her mother (a middle school principal), describing an assembly where students nervously reacted to the prospect of their phones being checked. [13:43]
• Several calls illustrate the scope and complexity of the issue:
  • 19-year-old Destiny talks about her mom monitoring texts [15:02]
  • A mother shares how monitoring her daughter's phone led to finding provocative photos. [16:34]
  • Bird and the team debate the effectiveness of open monitoring vs covert digital “surveillance,” recognizing how easy it is for kids to circumvent parental controls. [17:40–18:32]

Memorable Quotes & Insights

• "If my parents had my Facebook or MySpace password, I would just create a different account. Don't you think most kids are doing that?" — Bert [17:55]
• "I found the nude pictures on my daughter's phone… She's 15… I didn't think to go through all these pictures." (Caller) [18:34–18:47]
• Melissa Carter: "Not to disrespect her, but I do think her daughter is sexually active... There’s a fine balance in parenting." [19:58]
• A dad recounts his seventh-grade daughter receiving inappropriate texts from a boy and stresses constant vigilance. [20:50]
• The hosts acknowledge the dissonance between what parents think and statistics: “One in five teenagers has sent a nude or semi-nude picture… and nine out of ten parents think it can’t be their kid.” — Bert & Bird [22:59–23:03]

3. Spotlight: Andre Benjamin (André 3000) on Creativity, “Class of 3000,” and Outkast’s Future

[25:11–34:13]

Interview Highlights

• Andre Benjamin discusses the stage adaptation of his animated show "Class of 3000" at the Alliance Theater, connecting his commitment to music education and the arts in Atlanta.
  • "It's hilarious to see grown people playing kids and embodying a cartoon character." — Andre Benjamin [25:53]
• Prospects for a Broadway run, following Alliance Theater's success with "The Color Purple." "I'd love it. That would be great." [26:26]
• Bert observes that Andre is always creatively restless: "You seem to have this creative ADD… everything you seem to touch just seems to be successful." [26:31]
  • Andre affirms: “I have to keep myself excited... I seldom start things saying, 'Oh, this would make great money.'” [26:46]
• On the possibility of another Outkast album:
  • "We're concentrating on these solo albums... It's almost like you growing up in the same house with a brother. Eventually, you have to get your own house and family... I'm open to it, but there's always a chance that that's never gonna happen again." [27:51–29:15]
• Collaborating with John Legend on "Green Light":
  • "The song was done... and I said, 'Hey, I got something for it.' I freestyled the end." [31:16–31:21]
  • Andre on freestyling: "I'm not even a great freestyler, like Big Boi. I'm more of a writer." [32:20]

Memorable Moments

• The hosts play and analyze Andre's verse from "Green Light," appreciating the improvisation.
• Bert jokingly asks Andre to freestyle live; Andre declines: “Oh, man, I cannot do that. It's too early.” [32:15]

4. Dating, Desperation, and the Game: Single Women in the Modern World

[36:37–47:00]

Key Discussion Points

• The team addresses Wendy’s dating woes, claiming her “zero mojo” stems from visible desperation. [36:37]
• Jen Hobby: “The point is she doesn’t need to be that way because she’s got everything going for her.” [37:03]
• Examples are given—showing up overdressed at a casual dive bar—as signals of “trying too hard.”
  • “That is a desperate move right there.” — Bert, referencing inappropriate dress for the occasion [38:20–38:44]
• Bird: "If you want it too much, guys can sense that." [39:05]
• The panel debates the fairness and necessity of “playing the game” in dating—delayed texting, acting like you don’t care, “letting the guys hunt.”
  • “Games are stupid. Someone’s gonna like you whether you play a game or not, right?” — Jen Hobby [39:49]
  • “Nope.” — Bird [39:53]
  • “Men are hunters. Let them hunt.” — Jen Hobby [41:34]
  • “You’re the deer that jumps into the back of the truck and says, ‘Here. I’m already here. I’m already dead.’” — Bird [41:39]
  • “You deserve a guy that's willing to climb in the tree and cover himself in urine and sit there for half a day.” — Bert [46:23]
• Bird proposes an experiment where he'd control Wendy’s dating texts for a weekend to teach her “the game”: she gives out a special phone and he replies as her to interested guys, showing how “playing hard to get” works. [43:08+]

Listener Contributions

• A caller testifies, “Guys still like the chase... I got tons and tons of calls right away and just ignored them for a while. Now I'm in a long-term relationship.” [45:18]

Timestamps for Notable Segments

• Body Image & Empowerment: [01:00–11:10]
• Teen Sexting & Parenting: [12:12–23:03]
• Andre 3000 Interview: [25:11–34:13]
• Dating "Game": [36:37–47:00]

Notable Quotes (with Attribution & Timestamps)

• “We would rather be self-deprecating than brag about ourselves.” — Melissa Carter [05:12]
• “I have a delicious spankable butt.” — Jenny (Caller) [08:25]
• “If my parents had my Facebook or MySpace password, I would just create a different account.” — Bert [17:55]
• “We’re concentrating on these solo albums... I’m open to it, but there’s always a chance that that's never gonna happen again.” — Andre Benjamin [29:15]
• “Men are hunters. Let them hunt.” — Jen Hobby [41:34]
• “You deserve a guy that's willing to climb in the tree and cover himself in urine and sit there for half a day.” — Bert [46:23]

Tone & Style

The Bert Show remains conversational, witty, sometimes irreverent, but always grounded in real-life stories and genuine connections with listeners.

Summary

This episode is a vibrant blend of hard truths and laughter about real issues facing women (body image, confidence, dating expectations), modern parenting in the age of technology (teenagers and sexting), and creative endeavors (as described in Andre 3000’s interview). The rapport between the hosts and their openness invites listeners to both laugh and reflect, with memorable moments and insightful advice sure to resonate beyond the morning commute.