The Bert Show – Vault: Are Parties For One-Year-Olds Overrated?

Date: February 6, 2026
Host & Cast: Bert, Stacy, Katie, Jen, Angela, Party Entertainer
Main Theme: Exploring the value and etiquette of throwing extravagant first birthday parties for children—are they worth it, and who are they really for?

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, The Bert Show crew dives into a debate about whether hosting elaborate birthday parties for one-year-olds is excessive or meaningful. Bert, facing an upcoming blowout bash for his son Hollis orchestrated by his wife Stacy, weighs his skepticism against the importance it holds for the family—especially for Stacy. The conversation covers personal anecdotes, questions about party etiquette (especially when inviting childless friends), and listener perspectives, all wrapped in the show’s characteristic humor and authenticity.

Key Discussion Points

1. Personal Reflections: Why Go Big for a 1-Year-Old?

• Bert’s Dilemma (00:00–02:18):

  • Recalls past resistance to couple baby showers and parties, realizing these events matter more to his wife than to him, leading to a more supportive attitude.

    “What I learned from that is that day right there for her was so much more important to her than it was for me, that I just should have shut up…” — Bert (00:34)

  • Faces the reality of Hollis’s impending first birthday party, which is “going to be a major blowout,” including opening the backyard fence for a combined party with neighbors, hiring entertainment, a moonwalk, and a large guest list.

• Family Tradition & Fairness (01:22–03:13):

  • Stacy insists on a similar celebration for Hollis as older sibling Hayden had, not wanting the youngest to feel shortchanged.

    “If Hayden had it, she wants her second son to have the same thing.” — Stacy (02:57)

  • Bert notes this party will be even bigger than Hayden’s was, highlighting the “dress rehearsal” effect for later children.

2. The Real Purpose—Who Are These Parties For?

• Audience Acknowledgment (02:02–02:18):
  • Jen and Katie debate whether the parties are truly about the child, considering the one-year-old won’t remember.

    “The celebration should be for the one year old…who’s not gonna remember.” — Jen (02:02)

  • They joke about family getting as much out of the party as the kids, with talk of double cakes and messy fun.

3. Party Etiquette: To Invite Childless Friends or Not?

• Invitation Anxiety (03:37–06:25):

  • Bert worries about making friends without kids feel obligated to attend (possibly bored) versus unintentionally offending them if not invited.

    “I don’t want you to feel pressured into going, obligated. I also don’t want you to think I don’t want you there…” — Bert (04:29)

  • Katie shares a friend’s tongue-in-cheek invitation note, lightening expectations:

    “If you don’t want to attend, increase your gift price range by 20 bucks and we’ll forgive you. Also afterwards, I’m going out for beer and stronger drinks… you guys are all welcome to meet me there.” — Katie [Describing Jason’s invitation] (04:44–05:56)

4. Caller Perspectives: Support and Critique

• Amanda’s Sharp Critique (06:52–07:37):

  • Amanda calls out Bert for not prioritizing his child, likening him to a distant parent.

    “This is your child. It should be important too. Don’t be like your dad.” — Amanda (06:53)

  • The team reacts with humor but also separates Bert’s etiquette concerns from Amanda’s emotional assumptions.

    “She could call in with a comment, but she decided to do an over-the-top comment.” — Jen (08:21)

• Angela’s Balanced Approach (08:33–09:54):

  • Angela shares her own party experience: inviting all her friends but making it clear attendance isn’t required, especially for those without children.

    “You don’t have to come. I totally understand if you don’t. I will not be hurt at all. I know you love me and…I had a friend…who said, you know, I really have some other stuff to do…No problem, dude. I understand.” — Angela (08:33–09:12)

5. Party Industry Insights: How Big Do These Parties Get?

• Party Entertainer’s Perspective (09:55–11:02):
  • A children’s entertainer thanks Bert and Stacy for supporting the industry, describing the scale (and cost) of such parties.

    “$1,100 for a one hour pony and petting zoo is my top line.” — Party Entertainer (10:22)

  • Discussion reveals that parties for young children can range from a few hundred up to $10,000.

    “$10,000 for a one year old? Oh, stop it. I’m gonna throw up.” — Stacy (10:58–11:02)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Parental Compromise:
  “The things that mean something to her, be supportive, really important to her. So I just should have in the beginning just said, let's just do it.” — Bert (00:49)

• On Fairness in Parenting:
  “She didn't want to short him.” — Stacy (03:05)

• On Party Overload:
  “At some point I'm gonna go, look, enough is enough, but this is important to her.” — Burt (03:37)

• On Etiquette:
  “I have always been on the fence about inviting you guys to stuff like this. I want to invite you knowing it’s okay.” — Bert (04:10)

• On Gift Expectations (with humor):
  “If you don’t want to attend, increase your gift price range by 20 bucks and we’ll forgive you.” — Katie (04:44)

• On Children’s Birthday Party Industry:
  “Parents like you keep us in business.” — Party Entertainer (09:59) “$10,000 for a one year old? Oh, stop it. I’m gonna throw up.” — Stacy (10:58)

Important Segments by Timestamp

| Segment | Topic | Speakers | Timestamp | |--------------------|--------------------------------------|-----------------------|---------------| | Lesson from past events | Bert’s view on couple showers and parties | Bert, Stacy | 00:00–00:49 | | This year’s party prep | Stacy’s plans and Bert’s doubts | Bert, Stacy, Katie | 01:13–02:54 | | Who’s the party for? | Children vs parents; fairness | Bert, Stacy, Jen | 02:57–03:37 | | Etiquette worries | Inviting friends without kids | Bert, Katie, Jen | 03:37–06:25 | | Amanda calls in | Critiquing Bert’s priorities | Amanda, Bert, Team | 06:52–07:37 | | Angela’s perspective | Invitations & no pressure | Angela, Bert, Team | 08:33–09:54 | | Party business insight | The economics of children’s parties | Party Entertainer, Bert| 09:55–11:02 |

Tone and Style

The conversation is warm, authentic, and peppered with playful teasing and real-life honesty. The team brings humor to a potentially fraught topic, mixing lighthearted anecdotes with genuine talk about family, tradition, and friendship.

Takeaways

• Many parents—often influenced by tradition or fairness—go all out for a child’s first birthday, even though the child won’t remember it.
• For spouses, sometimes supporting what matters to your partner means more than personal preference.
• When it comes to party invitations, honesty and lack of pressure are appreciated by friends without kids.
• Extravagant kid parties are big business, but also stir reflection on motives and meaning.
• The best approach, as highlighted by the listeners, is to make loved ones feel welcome, but never pressured or guilty for making their own choices.