Vault: Ask a Divorce Lawyer: Your Messiest Questions, Answered

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault – Ask a Divorce Lawyer: Your Messiest Questions, Answered

Date: March 5, 2026
Guest: Evan Summerstein, Divorce Attorney

---

Episode Overview

In this insightful and practical episode, The Bert Show team welcomes divorce attorney Evan Summerstein to tackle listeners’ toughest, real-world divorce dilemmas. Listeners call in with questions ranging from restraining orders and child support to attorney fees, contested proceedings, property disputes, and changing legal representation. Summerstein provides clear, empathetic, and actionable advice throughout, revealing the emotional and bureaucratic realities of divorce. The segment is fast-paced, candid, and alternately heavy and dryly funny—showing the cast's signature mix of authenticity and wit.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. How Divorce Withstands Economic Downturns

• Listener Interest Remains Steady: Despite being in a recession, divorce rates and inquiries haven’t dropped significantly.
  • “It’s economy-proof…and it doesn’t seem to affect it too much.” (Evan Summerstein, 01:57)
  • “People don’t like each other when they have money or when they don’t have money.” (Evan Summerstein, 02:09)
• Laughter-tinged Real Talk: The hosts joke about the permanence of relationship animosity, illustrating the universal nature of divorce struggles.

2. Restraining Orders in Non-Physical Abuse Situations

• Michelle’s Call (02:38–04:37):

  • Michelle describes her husband’s emotionally abusive and intimidating behavior post-divorce filing.
  • Advice: Evan confirms she can pursue a restraining order if there’s serious harassment or fear of violence, even without physical contact.
    • “You can definitely request a restraining order…you can go to the magistrate court in whatever county you live in and actually have forms there…” (Evan Summerstein, 03:24)
  • Clarification: Emotional harm, especially if escalating or affecting children, is taken seriously for protective orders.

• Host’s Reflection:

  • The hosts reflect on the tragic transformation of once-loving couples into adversaries.
    • "At one point, she and he looked at each other in the eyes on their wedding day…then you fast forward to today, and this is what has happened, you know?" (Host 2, 05:07)

3. Child Support When There Was No Marriage

• Pam’s Call (05:15–07:08):
  • Pam’s ex stopped providing child support after remarrying, despite sharing custody informally.
  • Advice: Evan urges her to file for official child support through the state or a private attorney; guidelines consider both incomes. Retroactive support is unlikely unless specific past expenses are proven.
    • “What you definitely need to do is file for child support…there’s a calculated formula…” (Evan Summerstein, 06:00)
    • “They will not do what’s called a retroactive child support order…but if you can prove expenses…they will make him contribute to those.” (Evan Summerstein, 06:44)
  • Businesslike Approach: The hosts note Pam’s all-business demeanor, contrasting with other callers’ emotion.

4. Attorney Fees and Drawn-Out Divorce Cases

• Rebecca’s Call (07:40–09:36):
  • Rebecca describes being at a financial disadvantage; her ex has more resources and is prolonging the legal battle.
  • Advice: Courts can order the wealthier spouse to contribute to attorney fees, especially if only one party is stalling or has greater means.
    • “The courts can make him pay your attorney's fees…ask the judge to make him contribute…” (Evan Summerstein, 08:21)
    • If one party is dragging out the process, “The court will definitely kind of punish him for that.” (Evan Summerstein, 09:22)
  • Process Length: A contested divorce averages a year and a half; Evan’s longest took two and a half years.
    • “A year and a half is probably about average…The quickest you can do it in Georgia is 31 days.” (Evan Summerstein, 09:45–09:57)

5. House Deeds and Occupancy After Divorce

• Rhonda’s Call (10:18–11:41):
  • Rhonda’s divorce awarded the house to her ex, but she later moved back in. She asks about her security and rights since her name remains on the deed.
  • Advice: If the court order granted the house to her ex, he can evict her at any time, and he retains all equity from its sale—even if her name is still on the deed.
    • “The house is his. So you are…a renter who’s not having to pay rent.” (Evan Summerstein, 11:02)
    • “If it just says he gets the house, then he’d get the equity in the house.” (Evan Summerstein, 11:25)
  • Hosts’ Reaction: They note Rhonda’s disappointment—“Hear the disappointment?” (Host 2, 11:43).

6. Changing Attorneys Mid-Divorce

• Jerrell’s Call (12:11–13:53):
  • Jerrell worries about the consequences of switching lawyers after delayed and unsatisfactory service.
  • Advice: Clients have the right to change attorneys anytime, though it can be expensive. It's best to first have an honest conversation to try to resolve issues.
    • “You always have the right to get a new attorney…sit down with your attorney and see if you can fix things.” (Evan Summerstein, 13:21)
    • “But if…you feel like they’re not listening to you…you really may want to consider” switching. (Evan Summerstein, 13:45)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Economy-proof Divorces:

  • “People don’t like each other when they have money or when they don’t have money, broke or rich.”
    — Evan Summerstein (02:09)

• On Emotional Impact:

  • "At one point, she and he looked at each other in the eyes on their wedding day with such loving eyes...then you fast forward to today, and this is what has happened, you know?"
    — Host 2 (05:07)

• On Attorney Fees:

  • “He should be spending marital property to pay your lawyer also.”
    — Evan Summerstein (08:06)

• On Drawn-Out Divorces:

  • “A year and a half is probably about average…it’s the nature of the beast.”
    — Evan Summerstein (09:45)

• On Occupancy and Deeds:

  • “You are…a renter who’s not having to pay rent.”
    — Evan Summerstein (11:02)

• On Changing Lawyers:

  • “You always have the right to get a new attorney…and see if you can fix things.”
    — Evan Summerstein (13:21)

---

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:14] – Evan Summerstein introduced and divorce call lines opened
• [02:38–04:37] – Michelle seeks advice on domestic abuse and restraining orders
• [05:15–07:08] – Pam asks about child support without marriage or formal arrangement
• [07:40–09:36] – Rebecca on attorney fees and financial disadvantage
• [10:18–11:41] – Rhonda’s house occupancy and rights post-divorce
• [12:11–13:53] – Jerrell asks about firing and replacing a sluggish attorney

---

Final Thoughts

The episode is a rare, practical guide for anyone in the throes—or on the brink—of divorce, showing both nitty-gritty legal realities and the deep emotional currents under every split. Evan Summerstein provides straight talk and clear advice, while the hosts balance seriousness with moments of levity and empathy. For those seeking clarity amid marital turmoil, this episode is a goldmine of firsthand answers and reassurance.

Transcript

[Host 1]

With Venmo Stash. A taco on one hand and ordering a ride in the other means you're stacking cash back with Venmo Stash. Get up to 5% cash back when you pick a bundle of your favorite brands. Earn more cash when you do more with Stash. Venmo Stash terms exclusion supply max $100 cash back per month See terms of Venmo Me Stashterms. Don't you wish everything was more rewarding with Rakuten?

[Host 2]

Almost everything is.

[Host 1]

You can earn cash back on those new shoes you've been wanting. You can save on the next trip you book. You can cash in on groceries. Rakuten is a smart way to save money and feel rewarded when you shop. Raise Rakuten partners with all of your favorite brands across so many categories. Fashion, beauty, travel, concert tickets, electronics, restaurants, and more. Just join. Shop your favorite brands and save. Target, Instacart, Expedia, Macy's, Sephora, cvs. The list is long. Save online, in store and at over 22,000 restaurants. And when it's time to redeem those rewards, get your money exactly how you want it. Just choose PayPal, check, built points, or cash out with gift cards. So go ahead, take a trip, fill a cart, order dessert. Rakuten is a world of rewards. Join today for free. Go to rakuten.com or get the app that's R A K U T E

[Host 2]

N the Birch Show Evan Summerstein, Divorce attorney answers all your questions. Unfortunately, the phone lines are lit up, but our divorce attorney answers all your questions that you're. It must be such a. That's a huge process. Huge process. You don't even know where to start.

[Host 1]

Nobody knows where to start.

[Host 2]

Or if you're in the middle of it, you probably don't ever really totally feel satisfied you're getting what you think you're supposed to get. Well, Evan can help you out with that and we'll take your calls. Good morning, Evan.

[Evan Summerstein]

Good morning.

[Host 2]

How are you today?

[Evan Summerstein]

I am doing great. How are you guys?

[Host 1]

Good.

[Host 2]

I've read yesterday that most people at this point, like with the economy so bad in the middle of a recession, even if they have the thought of getting into divorce, they're holding out right now.

[Evan Summerstein]

It is. It's one of the great things about my job. It's economy proof and it doesn't seem to affect it too much.

[Host 2]

So people still are. I mean, you're getting as many calls now as you were before this economy turned.

[Evan Summerstein]

Oh yeah. People don't like each other when they have money or when they don't have money, broke or rich.

[Host 1]

I still think you're an a hole

[Host 2]

if you're in the middle of a divorce or you're just starting out. Evan here can answer your questions from Hunter, Weinstein and Summerstein.

[Host 1]

Oftentimes we get calls too. If you need advice for your quote unquote finger quote friend.

[Host 2]

Right.

[Host 1]

Maybe you feel more comfortable calling and asking in that way. That's cool, too.

[Host 2]

And we can put you on the voice disguiser if you want. That's fine. Good morning, Michelle. You are on Q100.

[Host 1]

Hi, good morning. I had filed for a divorce towards the beginning of the year. He freaked out on me and scared me into actually staying. And things have gone bad again and I want to get out of it, but he's threatened to take my kids. He withdrew the money out of our accounts and, you know, just going to make it hard for me to live. So what I'm trying to find out is, is there a college just being in my face screaming at me, you know, just putting my kids through stuff that they don't need to be put through. But what I'm trying to find out is she has not been physically violent with me. Is there any kind of a restraining order or something that I can get put to keep him away from me until this divorce is done?

[Evan Summerstein]

Yeah, you can definitely request a restraining order if. I mean, if there's serious, like hard harassment like that and he's getting in your face and actually in your feet, you know, creating fear of kind of violence or something like that. And you can go to the magistrate court in whatever county you live in and actually have forms there that you can fill out to apply for a restraining order.

[Host 2]

Michelle, what kind of things is he saying to you that are making you have that fear?

[Host 1]

He just threatens to leave with the kids. Tells me I'll never see him again. Like I say, he'll get in my face and he won't actually hit me, but he'll like slap his hands in front of my face. He'll keep me just like the other night we had a fight. He felt like four hours.

[Evan Summerstein]

I mean.

[Host 1]

And I try to. I'm like, look, I got to get up and go to work in the morning. Can you please just stop? He's like, when I ask him to stop, he'll just keep on and get worse. And if I don't talk to him about it, he'll just keep on and keep on and keep on. It's like he wants to. He wants to make me mad. He wants me to fight with him. And, you know, just doing that. And then, like, whenever I got out of the vehicle, my son had turned out, looked at me. Whenever he had started running his mouth at me, he looked at me. His mommy, please don't fight with Daddy.

[Evan Summerstein]

I mean, it sounds to me especially that, you know, with him slapping his hands and all that it definitely wouldn't. Would justify getting a restraining order.

[Host 1]

Okay. Thank you.

[Host 2]

All right. Thank you for calling. Sorry about your pain right now. I say this every time we have Evan on and we take a call like this. It always strikes me that at one point, she and he looked at each other in the eyes on their wedding day with such loving eyes. And everything he said was funny to her. Everything she said, he thought was the most outstanding thing ever, you know, and they were going to be with each other for the rest of their lives. And then you fast forward to today, and this is what has happened, you know?

[Host 1]

Yeah. I mean, how is it.

[Host 2]

How do you get from A to B, you know? Good morning, Pam. You are on Q100. Hi.

[Host 1]

Hey. I have a question. I was never married, but I have a daughter. My ex was paying a certain amount every month, and then he decided to change it once he got married. Then he decided he wasn't going to pay anything at all because he has her. Almost half of the.

[Evan Summerstein]

She has What? We didn't hear the end of that.

[Host 2]

I had to put on the voice discussion. Go ahead.

[Host 1]

He has her. Like, we split the time, like, 60, 40, 60%.

[Evan Summerstein]

She's with me.

[Host 1]

Okay.

[Evan Summerstein]

Okay. So, like, he was paying something for years, and then he got married and decided, you know, well, I do have her, you know, a lot, so I don't think I should pay anything. Do you have a court order in place already, or was he just paying voluntarily? He was just paying voluntarily. Okay. What you definitely need to do is file for child support. And you can either do that through a private attorney, or the state has agencies that will do that in every county called the Child Support Enforcement Office. Okay. And they will go ahead and set an amount based on. We have what's called the Georgia Child Support Guidelines. So it's going to be based on your income and his income, and there's, like, a calculated formula that they'll apply that to and come up with a set number, and they'll enter a court order, and he'll be required to pay that amount every month. Okay. And then what about back child support? Because he's given, like, not a penny for the Last year. They will not do what's called a retroactive child support order, which is him paying a set amount each month. But if you can come to court, improve expenses he's had in the past that he hasn't helped contribute to, pay for, they will make him contribute to those. Okay. Like health insurance. I'm sorry, say that again? Like health insurance. Things like health insurance. Just normal day to day costs. Right. Okay. Well, thank you for your time.

[Host 2]

Thank you for calling. Bye. Bye.

[Evan Summerstein]

Bye.

[Host 1]

You can tell she's in a different place with it. She was all business.

[Host 2]

Yeah, she's emotional.

[Evan Summerstein]

A, B, C, D. What else do I have to cross off my list? Thank you. And people that come into the office are usually one or the other. It's usually totally full of emotion or it's just a business transaction, one of the two.

[Host 2]

And that doesn't have anything to do with the amount of time that the divorce has gone on?

[Evan Summerstein]

Yeah, you would think it does. Some people, five years later still have exactly as much anger as they had at the start of it.

[Host 2]

Good morning, Rebecca, you're on Q100.

[Host 1]

Hey, I'm in the middle of divorce, but it's been going on for about a year and a half. And we both have good attorneys. Only he has more money than me. I'm a single mom, two children, and he has no children. So he can continue to, you know. And I have full custody, too. Well, you know, I have the kids mostly most of the time. Obviously nothing settled yet. So he's able to work and pay for his lawyer and I'm working. But obviously it's a little harder to dish out the money for the lawyer. So I'm wondering what, what do I do when I run out of money? Because I'm just about there. You can see a year and a half with a good lawyer. I've used up my resources.

[Evan Summerstein]

Sure. One of the. One of the things that the courts can do for you is the courts can make him pay your attorney's fees. And it's real common in a situation like yours where one. One spouse is kind of the money as opposed to the other one, for you to go to court and ask the judge to make him contribute to your. To your costs.

[Host 1]

But do you go to court alone or do you continue getting. You know what I mean? They charge it on your credit cards and then hope that that happens, or you see what happens because they can't really go alone.

[Evan Summerstein]

You can actually do that in the middle of your case and have your lawyer take the court and talk to your lawyer about that. You can do a temporary hearing in the middle of a divor to ask that he be contributing to your attorney's fees. The money that he's earning while the divorce is going on is still marital property. So he's spending marital property to pay his lawyer. He should be spending marital property to pay your lawyer also.

[Host 1]

Okay. And Evan, does it make a difference on who won't settle? Like if he's the one that's making this last longer, will that make a difference to the judge?

[Evan Summerstein]

Definitely makes a difference to the judge. Go in and show that the reason the case has been going on for a year and a half is he's refusing to give up documents or he won't go to meetings or he's not entering into meaningful settlement discussions. The court will definitely kind of punish him for that.

[Host 2]

When she said she'd been going through this for a year and a half, you went, ugh, I can't imagine it that kind of stress for that long the day to day.

[Evan Summerstein]

Although I'll say a year and a half is probably about average time it takes to finalize a contested divorce.

[Host 2]

A year and a half.

[Host 1]

Well, that's when it's contested. When you don't agree on you're going back and forth in trying to settle.

[Evan Summerstein]

The quickest you can do it In Georgia is 31 days.

[Host 2]

I mean, we saw Jen come in here all torn up for what us felt like a short amount of time. But for a year and a half to be going through that.

[Host 1]

Well, what did you tell me before Evan was your longest?

[Evan Summerstein]

The longest was about two and a half years.

[Host 2]

Whoa. Good morning, Rhonda. You're on Q100.

[Host 1]

Good morning. I was actually calling. I've been divorced for six years and in 2002, when I got a divorce, the judge gave my ex husband the house. Well, we never left each other alone. And in February of this year was two years that I moved back in the house where he does not live. And I was just wondering, I've always thought about it, my name. We did a quick beat before I even got married. Now could he still actually just come in and say, well, I want you to get out and I have to leave with my name on the deed. And I've been here after the divorce. I've been here two years. Could he just actually come and say I want you to leave or do you know what happens in that matter if he ever just said I want you to leave when you have an

[Evan Summerstein]

actual court order that gives him the house yes. The house is his. So you are. You're a renter who's not having to pay rent. So I guess that's a good situation for. Yeah. You demand that you leave at any time.

[Host 1]

Yeah. Okay. So what about them? If he were to sell the house and my name is on the deed, then I would get a. You know, he'd have to sell and give me something out of it.

[Evan Summerstein]

Well, the court order typically says something about who's going to get the equity in the house. If it doesn't, and it just says he gets the house, then he'd get the equity in the house.

[Host 1]

That's all it says is he gets

[Evan Summerstein]

the house, then that would include any value in the house. So if he sold it, the money would be his. It was.

[Host 1]

I'll go to him.

[Evan Summerstein]

Mm.

[Host 1]

Really? Okay.

[Host 2]

Hear the disappointment?

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Wait a second.

[Host 1]

It's his house.

[Host 2]

His name's on it, and he gets the money.

[Host 1]

If I call back and change my

[Evan Summerstein]

name, will you give me a different answer? But the good part is living rent free.

[Host 2]

So let me take one more call for you. Seriously, when we have Evan on, we could do this for an hour, hour and a half. Let me take one more. Are you gonna say Jim? Nothing. Are you gonna say something? Jerrell, Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Host 1]

Thank you. I'm calling because I filed for divorce back in, oh, three. On my own. I tried to do it on my own, and then in. They dismissed it because they kept saying I didn't verify my address because he lives in New York and I'm here in Atlanta. So in March of last year, I paid for a lawyer to take care of the case, and I'm still going through it, and I just feel like he's dragging his feet. And I want to know if I can get another lawyer, because what happened originally, when I paid him in March, he didn't file the papers until May. And at this point, mine, soon to be a cousin, hopefully, was waiting for the divorce papers, and he never got them. So he went and got a lawyer and filed as well. So now there's two cases pending in the court system, and I just. I need relief. I mean, Rolai's is not going to get it at this point, and I'm just bugging out. I can't take it anymore. It's just bananas. So I just want to see if I can get another lawyer without feeling like my old lawyer is going to do something to damage the case or whatever.

[Evan Summerstein]

Not at all. You always have the right to get a new attorney and to change attorneys if you're not happy with the attorney in the case. I will tell you though, I tell everyone it's expensive to hire a new attorney in the middle case. So first and foremost, sit down with your attorney and see if you can fix things. Have a heart to heart talk with them. I'm not happy with the representation. And see if in speaking to them, you can get them to kind of get on board and make you feel better about it. But if it's at a point where you feel like they're not listening to you or you're not getting any action from the attorney, then at that point you really may want to consider attorneys.

[Host 2]

Evan's website at Hunter, Weinstein and Summerstein. Like I said, every time we have Evan on phone lines light up. We could do this for seriously, three straight days. All right, Evan, great stuff. Thank you very much for your time. Appreciate it.

[Evan Summerstein]

Thank you guys. Y' all have a great morning.

[Host 2]

You too.

[Host 1]

Bye now. The Birch show, day or night. VRBoCare is here 247 to help make every part of your stay seamless. If anything comes up or you simply need a little guidance, support is ready whenever you reach out. From the moment you book to the moment you head home. We're here to help things run smoothly because a great trip starts with the right support. And hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either.

[Host 2]

The day begins at the Chase Sapphire Lounge by the club. At Boston Logan Airport, you get the clam chowder. In San Diego, it's Tostadt US New York Espresso Martini.

[Host 1]

It's 10am why not?

[Host 2]

It's the quiet before your next flight. The shower that resets your day. The menu that lets you know where you are.

[Host 1]

This is access to over 1300 airport

[Host 2]

lounges and every Sapphire Lounge by the club. And one card that gets you in. Chase Sapphire Reserve now even more rewarding. Learn [e-mail] Sapphire Reserve cards issued by

[Evan Summerstein]

JP Morgan, Chase bank and a member

[Host 2]

FDIC, subject to credit approval.

[Host 1]

So good, so good, so good. New markdowns, up to 70% off are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. And that means so many, many new reasons to rack.

[Host 2]

Because I always find something amazing.

[Host 1]

Just so many good brands because there's always something new. Join the Nordiclub to unlock exclusive discounts. Shop new arrivals first and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite Rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack.