The Bert Show: Vault – Bar Etiquette

Episode Date: December 5, 2025
Host: Pionaire Podcasting / The Bert Show Cast (Jeff, Jen, Robin, Candace, Stacy, Drew Ski)
Theme: Navigating the Unspoken Rules of Buying Drinks at Bars

Episode Overview

In this “vault” episode, The Bert Show takes a humorous and lively look at modern bar etiquette—particularly, the social expectations and fallout surrounding the old ritual of buying someone a drink in hopes of sparking a conversation. The hosts debate whether accepting a free drink obligates the recipient to give the buyer some of their time, or if it’s simply a gift with no strings attached. Both sides are explored candidly, with a mix of personal anecdotes, lighthearted banter, and some cheeky “what if?” scenarios.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Incident: Analyzing Bar Behavior

• [02:00] Jeff recounts witnessing a scenario at East Andrews:
  • A man sends a woman at the other end of the bar a drink after their eyes meet.
  • She accepts and enjoys the drink, but when he approaches, she barely acknowledges him.
  • Jeff poses the central debate:

    "If a guy buys you a drink, you are at least obligated to engage us in conversation to find out if we're the real deal or not. Am I wrong?"
    (Jeff, 03:05)

2. Is There an Obligation to Converse?

• Majority perspective: Accepting a drink creates a social contract for at least a brief cordial chat.

  • Robin [04:37]:

    "If she knew she was going to blow him off or had no interest, she should have not accepted the drink. That's just rude."

  • Jen [06:01]:

    "Then she shouldn't have accepted the drink. Then she should say, no, thank you. Please tell him, thank you, but no thanks."

• Counterpoint (Stacy, 05:34):

  • Stacy:

    "That's just an assumption. You're assuming that if I buy her this drink, she's gonna at least talk to me. I don't have to say anything to you. I can say thanks for the drink and keep it moving. That's it."

  • This view sparks heated disagreement from the other hosts.

3. Social Pressure & Gender Dynamics

• The crew discusses the pressure men feel in front of their friends when buying drinks, and the embarrassment of rejection.

  • Jen [07:34]:

    "If I'm there with half a dozen guys... you take the drink, toast me from 100 feet away, and then walk the opposite direction, I would never live down that from the other five years."

  • Jeff [07:51]:

    "The ridicule from the pack, that you are running with that night, would be ruthless."

• Cultural observation:

  • Some women reportedly boast about never buying their own drinks, suggesting a pattern of transactional encounters.
    • Robin [05:05]:

      "The hidden message in there is that they're still at the bar getting free drinks after 10 years, so something's not working."

4. What’s “Polite”? Defining the Minimum

• The hosts negotiate what constitutes basic politeness after accepting a drink.
  • Robin & Jen: Three minutes of conversation is suggested as the "fair" minimum.
    • Jen [08:12]:

      "Three minutes. Like, 'Thank you so much for the drink, no problem. What's your name? ... Then you could say, politely, ...I have to go meet my girlfriends in the patio right now. Maybe I'll see in a little bit.'"

5. Exaggeration and Humor: “Do Drinks Buy More Than Time?”

• The hosts take the debate to a cheeky extreme with jokes about higher-priced drinks “entitling” men to kisses or more—clearly satirical and meant for laughs.
  • Jeff [08:44]:

    "If I buy you a drink that costs more than $9, you're obligated to French kiss me."

  • Jen [09:08]:

    "If your drink costs ten or more dollars, I get to touch one boob."

  • Everyone laughs and acknowledges the over-the-top nature of these comments.

6. Audience Calls & Alternative Views

• [10:16] Jenny (Listener):

  • Explains her and her friends refuse drinks to prevent these awkward obligations, aligning with the idea of clear intentions.

• [12:24] Stacy (Caller):

  • Introduces the term “drink hoe” for someone only after free beverages, drawing a distinction from the “gold digging hoe” who chats to extract more.

7. Bartender Dynamics & Pranks

• The group considers what happens if a drink is delivered to the “wrong” person and the subtle power bartenders wield.
  • Jen [12:10]:

    "If I was a bartender, I would do that all the time."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jeff [03:05]:

  "If a guy buys you a drink, you are at least obligated to engage us in conversation to find out if we're the real deal or not. Am I wrong?"

• Stacy [05:34]:

  "I don't have to say anything to you. I can say thanks for the drink and keep it moving. That's it."

• Robin [04:37]:

  "That's just rude. I mean, we expect for men to be southern gentlemen in this town when we're out and about dating. You better go out with your manners, too."

• Jen [08:12]:

  "Three minutes. Like, 'Thank you so much for the drink...'"

• Jeff [08:44]:

  "If I buy you a drink that costs more than $9, you're obligated to French kiss me." (said in jest)

• Stacy (Caller) [12:27]:

  "The title that y' all are talking about is A drink hoe. Oh, and that's exactly what. What it is. She's just there to get a drink, and that's it. And you walk back over the voice. Oh, she was a drink hoe."

Important Timestamps

• [02:00] – Jeff introduces the real-life scenario and kicks off the debate.
• [05:34] – Stacy delivers the dissenter’s view: “Thanks for the drink and keep it moving.”
• [07:34] – Group discusses the social consequences among peers.
• [08:12] – “Three minutes” as the suggested minimum polite engagement.
• [08:44] – Satirical “benefits” of expensive drinks.
• [10:16] – Jenny (listener) offers the “just say no to avoid the problem” perspective.
• [12:24] – The humorous “drink hoe” vs “gold digging hoe” distinction.

Flow & Tone

The episode maintains a playful and light-hearted tone, with honest (and sometimes exaggerated) takes on dating rituals and bar etiquette. The debate is lively and punctuated by group laughter, relatable awkwardness, and the regulars’ signature realness. The hosts don’t shy from poking fun at themselves, each other, and the often-unspoken rules that govern how we interact when alcohol and expectations are involved.

Quick Takeaway

If you accept a drink from a stranger at a bar, most of the cast believes you owe at least a few minutes of polite conversation—but the debate stays fun, honest, and filled with the awkward truths of single life, all seasoned with The Bert Show’s signature humor.