Vault: Bert Tries Too Hard To Push His Son Into Sports

Summary

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The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Bert Tries Too Hard To Push His Son Into Sports
Date: November 7, 2025
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Main Cast This Episode: Bert (Host), Jeff, Melissa, Stacy

Episode Overview

In this episode, Bert opens up about his struggles and insecurities as a father when it comes to his young son Hayden's (almost 4 years old) lack of interest in sports. The discussion evolves into a candid, often funny, exploration of parental expectations, childhood interests, and the subtle line between exposing kids to opportunities and inadvertently pushing them away. The co-hosts and listeners share their experiences and opinions, with plenty of lighthearted ribbing and some heartfelt moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bert’s Confession: Wanting a "Sports Kid"

• [00:47–03:40]
  • Bert admits to feeling obsessed—but claims it’s “sly enough” to avoid being unhealthy—about wanting his son Hayden to be involved in sports.
  • He longs for the typical fatherly woes: “I want to complain about having to take him to baseball at 2 o'clock and then soccer at 5:30.”
  • He’s aware of the dangers of over-pushing, noting Melissa’s warning about her own brother being ostracized from sports due to pressure from their father.

2. Cautionary Tales from Jeff’s Family

• [01:28–03:40]
  • Jeff shares his own family story: his athletic father was critical toward his less-coordinated brother, squashing his brother’s enjoyment of and participation in sports.
  • Jeff (on his dad): “He didn't look at my brother... to see what he might be good at... [He] was so critical of everything he did when he was young.”
  • He references the film/book "The Great Santini" as an example of an overbearing sports parent.

3. Bert’s Strategies: Exposure Without Pressure?

• [03:40–05:31]
  • Bert tries to present sports as an option rather than a command—inviting Hayden to watch ESPN, bringing him to parks, joining a softball league “just to bring Hayden down so he can watch daddy play baseball.”
  • Hayden’s interests, however, remain indifferent or gravitate elsewhere (like toward the cheerleaders at football practice).

4. Humor and Commentary from the Crew

• [05:31–09:23]
  • Melissa: Quick to poke holes in Bert’s claims of “just exposing,” not pushing.
  • Stacy jokes about Hayden bringing his baby doll to the ballpark.
  • The group teases Bert about inviting the neighborhood sportsy kid over to play in front of Hayden, hoping Hayden will be influenced by proximity.
    • Melissa: “You're creating a great spectator.” [06:48]
    • Jeff: “You're kidding me that you were bringing another child into your yard and playing with him in front of Hayden?” [06:49]
  • Jokes about the contrast between Bert’s discomfort with parenting books vs. his persistence with “sports exposure.”

5. Hayden’s Actual Interests

• [07:47–08:26]
  • Hayden shows genuine enthusiasm for NASCAR—presumably influenced by watching the Disney movie "Cars."
  • Bert now records and watches NASCAR with his son, even though he wishes it were baseball or football.
  • Stacy: “His natural interest in sports so far has been NASCAR and racing... He couldn’t care less [for baseball, football, basketball].” [07:43–07:56]
  • Jeff urges Bert to follow Hayden’s own interests rather than his own dreams.

6. Parental Blind Spots and Independence

• [09:11–11:13]
  • Melissa and Jeff suggest Hayden’s indifference may even be a subtle assertion of independence—he may gravitate toward things his dad isn’t focused on.
  • The group speculates on how much influence is “subtle forcing.”
  • Jeff jokes about Hayden listening to these tapes on a psychologist’s couch years later.
  • Debate ensues about what it means to support a passion versus pressing a parent’s dream.

7. Would Bert Support Non-Traditional Interests?

• [11:19–11:46]
  • Playful debate: if Hayden prefers ballet, would Bert be supportive?
  • Bert: “If he’s going to be in the ballet, he’s going to be in the ballet. That’s the way it’s going to work around here.” [11:28]
  • The others doubt how genuinely comfortable he’d be if Hayden didn’t fit the “sports kid” mold.

8. Listener Calls

• [09:23–13:08]
  • A caller with a 6-year-old shares her experience: introduction is fine, pushing is not.
  • Another humorous moment from Melissa exaggerating the “pushing” metaphor: “I shoved a soccer ball into my wife's uterus…” [12:27]

9. Importance of Acceptance

• [12:37–13:37]
  • Jeff reiterates that seeing his own brother feel unaccepted shaped his belief in letting a child gravitate to their own interests.
  • Bert continues to insist he’s “exposing, not pushing”—with some self-doubt and group teasing.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert (on his own motivations):
  “I want to complain about having to take him to baseball at 2 o'clock and then soccer at 5:30. I really want that as a father.” [00:55]

• Jeff:
  “There’s a danger—if you come on too strong, you’re going to do the exact opposite of your intention.” [03:34]

• Melissa (teasing Bert):
  “You're creating a great spectator.” [06:48]

• Jeff (on Bert’s tactics):
  “You’re kidding me that you were bringing another child into your yard and playing with him in front of Hayden?” [06:49]

• Stacy:
  “His natural interest in sports so far has been NASCAR and racing... Baseball, football, basketball—he couldn’t care less.” [07:43–07:56]

• Bert:
  “I just want him to have an interest in it. He could be bad. At this point, I don’t even care if he’s bad, I just want him to have an interest in it.” [05:53]

• Jeff:
  “If the only thing he has dropped everything for is NASCAR... expose him to more NASCAR stuff. You were pushing baseball on him because that was your sport.” [12:51]

• Melissa (joking):
  “I shoved a soccer ball into my wife’s uterus... let him play, kick that around a little bit. Move the placenta out of the way…” [12:27]

---

Key Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:47–01:28: Bert discusses his desire for Hayden to be into sports.
• 01:28–03:40: Jeff shares his brother’s experience with their athletic dad.
• 03:40–05:31: Bert describes methods to “expose” Hayden to sports without pushing.
• 05:31–07:00: Group jokes about Bert’s attempts, Melissa and Jeff challenge his approach.
• 07:47–08:26: Hayden’s genuine interest in NASCAR emerges.
• 09:23–09:56: Caller discusses age-appropriate exposure to sports.
• 11:19–11:46: Bert’s (and crew’s) debate on non-traditional kids interests (cheerleading, ballet).
• 12:37–13:37: Jeff’s summary of his childhood lessons; Bert’s continued justification.

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

• The episode is candid, humorous, and occasionally self-deprecating, with Bert frequently ribbed by his co-hosts for his unwavering “I’m just exposing, not pushing” stance.
• Discussion blends personal stories, gentle confrontation, and listener perspectives, ultimately landing on the value of supporting children’s genuine interests—even when they don’t align with a parent’s dreams.
• The group’s banter and sharp teasing provide as much insight on adult relationships and parenting anxieties as they do about sports vs. other pursuits for kids.

---

Transcript

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[Burt (Host)]

Get it the Birch show all right, about Hayden. Now, I know I'm going to be bordering on the line of being slightly obsessed here, but I think I'm doing it in a way that's sly enough to where it can't be considered unhealthy. And I know whenever I approach the subject about sports because I'm, I really want my, my 4 year old to be involved in sports. I want, I want to complain about having to take him to baseball at 2 o' clock and then soccer at 5:30. I really want that as a father. Right. But Melissa has warned me that her dad did that with her brother and like, I mean, completely ostracized him from any kind of sports. Right.

[Jeff]

Yeah, he did. I mean, well, first of all, I'm concerned that Bird is calling his son four years old when he doesn't turn four until when? September.

[Burt (Host)]

He's still three.

[Jeff]

But yeah, I, I had told, good point. Yeah. I had told Bert off air a long time ago how my father, who was athletic, his sport was basketball. So he's a big basketball star in his hometown and, and he went into the military and he's a guy's guy. And then my brother, who is still a, you know, he's more of a quiet guy who's not as coordinated in the same sports my father was in that my, I think where I felt like my father failed, you know, when it came to that, was that he didn't look at my brother as my brother to see what he might be good at because my brother loves sports. He loves watching sports. But my father was so critical of everything he did when he was young that, that my brother, you know, was fearful of even trying to be, you know, a guy who does sports himself because he's not. He was not as coordinated as my father. So, you know, instead of making him try to be a basketball player, then my father should have found a way that my brother could have been good at something else because he had the build. He just didn't have, you know, the skill. He wasn't fast, but there's plenty of things for big guys who aren't fast positions they can play either in football or something else. But my father didn't really all he saw was lack of something that my father had. And so I think for birth, the only thing I've always warned him is if you come on too strong. And I brought Great Santini. If nobody knows that book and knows that movie, I mean, that's the overbearing father who just, you know, forces the children just to hate to grow up too fast.

[Burt (Host)]

Well, he's just so competitive that he's.

[Jeff]

With his own children.

[Burt (Host)]

Tears apart the relationship.

[Jeff]

Exactly. And so I think my father was borderline mean. Hey, you know, started, you know, say any negative things about him, but I think it's borderline of being more competitive with. With my brother and trying to teach him sports that way instead of being a nurturing kind of dad. So my thing with Bert is he. I mean, from day one, as soon as he had a son, Bert wanted that son to be a sports gun. He's good. And I think that that's common with most fathers and their sons. I just think that as a guy, you have to understand that I think there's a danger and if you come on too strong, you're going to do the exact opposite of your intention.

[Burt (Host)]

Agreed. And the way it feels now is like, I don't even want him to be good at sports. I just want him to be interested in it. And my son has zero interest in sports whatsoever.

[Melissa]

That's not true. Like, when you took him to Piedmont park, he was into the gymnasts.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah. What Jeff is talking about, and this is part of the history that I have with Hayden, is that I'm being very selective on how I introduce him to sports without pushing it on him. So if I'm watching SportsCenter on ESPN, I'll bring Hayden over to the couch so maybe we can watch together. I don't demand it, but he's got no interest in it. Two seconds, he's gone. That I understand. What Jeff is talking about is a couple of months ago, up at Chastain park, all these football teams are out there practicing. These Pop Warner teams are out. I mean, there are hundreds of them every Single day. So I figure, you know, what if we're around it and he sees kids just a little bit bigger than him playing, maybe he'll start to get a little interested in it, start asking about it. So in a circle filled with hundreds of children sweating, tackling each other, testosterone, mini testosterone flying all over the place.

[Jeff]

It's like the testosterone kiddie pool.

[Burt (Host)]

Yes. It's training pretty much. There are three girls in a sea of hundreds of boys practicing their cheering on one end of one end zone. And my son takes a look at all the football players and then makes a beeline over the cheerleaders and wants to learn how to cheer. So that backfired on me. So now I started bringing soccer balls home just in hopes that maybe if we kick it around a little bit, I'm not pushing him. Just put it in front of his face, you know. Bert Santini, I joined a softball league on Sunday. Specifically. I have no interest in playing softball anymore, but I specifically joined it on Sunday just to bring Hayden down so he can watch daddy play baseball. Now. It worked on Sunday.

[Stacy]

It did.

[Burt (Host)]

It did work on Sunday because he was there. He was dugout.

[Stacy]

Did he bring his baby doll with him to the ballpark?

[Burt (Host)]

No baby doll, but if he wanted to, that would have been just fine. But he ran the bases after the game and didn't want to leave the park. So it worked. Worked a little bit.

[Melissa]

What do you mean it worked?

[Burt (Host)]

He was saying, like he didn't want to leave.

[Melissa]

In your mission to create an athletic son. It worked.

[Burt (Host)]

That's not what I'm saying. Interest in athletics, he could be bad. At this point, I don't even care if he's bad. I just want him to have an interest in it.

[Jeff]

Save that. Because if he has an interest and then ends up being bad, you can't go to the next level and say, I'm going to get him lessons and I'm going to make him.

[Burt (Host)]

I will not be that parent. I will not be that parent.

[Melissa]

But if he has an interest in baseball and he's just not good at it, you're going to be the one who. You're going to hire Henry Aaron to, you know, give him banning things.

[Stacy]

Remember that conversation? Didn't we talk to, like, little League parents that were hiring former professional baseball players to coach their kids?

[Burt (Host)]

And I was against that. I was totally against that. Cause you take the fun out of it, right? But what I have found myself doing, and here's where I think I've crossed the line, is that there is A kid that lives on our street, and he's like 6 years old and he's really into sports. And I find myself borrowing our neighborhood kid and bringing him over and, like, playing ball with him in front of my kid.

[Melissa]

Dude.

[Burt (Host)]

Just in hopes that. Just in hopes.

[Jeff]

Are you kidding me?

[Melissa]

You're creating a great spectator.

[Jeff]

You're kidding me that you were bringing another child into your yard and playing with him in front of Hayden?

[Burt (Host)]

Well, yeah, I mean, Hayden can play if he wants, but we set up the soccer net and kick the ball around a little bit.

[Melissa]

So let me get this straight. When your wife Stacy reads in a.

[Jeff]

Book, I are obsessed.

[Melissa]

Your wife Stacy reads in a book, one of her many manuals on how to raise kids. Right. She reads in multiple books that as a father, you should bring Hayden into the bathroom to show him how to use the bathroom. You have a problem doing that?

[Burt (Host)]

Yes. Well, she wanted me to go number two in front of my child because.

[Melissa]

That'S what all the child psychologists and the medical professionals say.

[Burt (Host)]

No, no, no. That was her own idea.

[Melissa]

That was just her.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Burt (Host)]

I've never read a book that said to do that.

[Melissa]

Okay, so you were nervous doing that, but he can still poop in the garage as long as he sees you kicking the football around with a six year old.

[Burt (Host)]

I don't care where he poops so long as he has a bat in his hand while he's doing it.

[Stacy]

But you did say that his natural. His natural interest in sports so far has been in nascar.

[Burt (Host)]

Yes.

[Stacy]

And racing. And then he's really into that. Like, if that's on tv, he's all about it. Baseball, football, basketball. He couldn't care less.

[Burt (Host)]

And I just, I think it's because he's seen that cars movie now four times. So I was watching SportsCenter a couple of weeks ago, and they were showing highlights of a NASCAR race, and he just stopped what he was doing and then sat on the couch with me. We watched NASCAR. And now I've started to TiVo NASCAR for him.

[Jeff]

See, because my thing is, like, if as a parent. I'm not a parent, but as a parent, I would think if I was wanting my child to be interested in sports, that I would take on that natural interest regardless if it started from a Disney movie and focus on that.

[Burt (Host)]

He just doesn't know he has natural interest in the other sports. Yeah.

[Jeff]

Oh, my God.

[Stacy]

You sound like such a suburbanite.

[Jeff]

When Hayden is on the psychologist's couch listening to these tapes. Hayden, this is Melissa. I defended you from day One.

[Burt (Host)]

Honey, how would you know you have a natural interest? Unless you see your dad playing baseball with the neighborhood kids?

[Melissa]

Unless it's forced on you. How do you know that you like that? Unless someone forces you to, your natural.

[Jeff]

Interest should be that of your father's.

[Burt (Host)]

I'm not saying that. I'm just saying give it a shot first. Sort of.

[Stacy]

He's three.

[Burt (Host)]

He's four.

[Jeff]

He is three.

[Burt (Host)]

When you're 20 years old and you are a month and a half away from being 21, don't you say I'm 20?

[Melissa]

No, you do, but your parents don't.

[Jeff]

You are already not accepting the fact that he's three. You're already pressuring him to be a four year old. He's not four.

[Burt (Host)]

He's been three long enough.

[Jeff]

Oh, my God.

[Stacy]

And he was a preemie, so he's not even really four when he turns four.

[Burt (Host)]

Oh, he's caught up quick.

[Melissa]

Yeah, your kid's like two and a half, dude.

[Burt (Host)]

Hey, Jan. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show.

[Caller 1]

Hey, guys.

[Burt (Host)]

Hi.

[Caller 1]

I feel Melissa's frustration. I think that part of your concern has to do. You know, Hayden is 3 and kids at 3, 2 and 3 years old like to run and jump and tumble, so of course he's interested in gymnastics now. Kids can't even play an organized sport until they're five. And I think there's a reason for that.

[Burt (Host)]

No, that is not true. They can play soccer at 4 years old.

[Melissa]

He's not 4 yet, though.

[Burt (Host)]

He's almost 4.

[Jeff]

He isn't.

[Burt (Host)]

He's 4 now.

[Jeff]

I do want to say that I think also not only the tumbling, but I wonder if he was gravitated toward the gymnast at the park because that was the one thing you weren't looking at. Like, I think he's even exerting independence at 3 because that was the one thing you weren't paying attention to and not. And not because I, I'm just assuming that while you were at the park, you were saying, hey, Hayden, look at those baseball players. Hey, Hayden, look at them playing over there. Hey, Hayden, look at that bat. Wouldn't that be fun to swing? And then the only thing you weren't looking at was those women tumbling.

[Burt (Host)]

So in order to alienate him from wanting to be a cheerleader, I have to dress up as a cheerleader when he walks into the house. And I will do.

[Jeff]

No, I'm just saying that don't. You're. I think you're. You don't realize how much you're still subtly Forcing.

[Melissa]

You're saying that you, that you want to be able to go to the games and have to take him to practice at 2 o' clock and on the week and then every Saturday morning have to get up early and take him to a game. You can do those same things. If he is a cheerleader, like, he doesn't have to be a player.

[Jeff]

I don't think it had anything to do with the sport. I think it had to do with the fact that that was what, you.

[Melissa]

Know, what you should do is that.

[Jeff]

He wasn't pointing him to.

[Melissa]

You should motivate him to be the best in his field. Like if he's going to be a cheerleader, he should be one of the cheerleaders with the ribbon, you know what I mean? Like instead of just a pom pom cheerleader.

[Jeff]

Well, the ribbon and the ball. Because I think that takes a lot of talent.

[Burt (Host)]

If he was going to be an Olympic champion at that whole ribbon thing, then I would support that.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Burt (Host)]

I would support that.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

He has to be good now.

[Stacy]

He does walk around on his tippy toes a whole lot, doesn't he? Does he still do that?

[Jeff]

Yep.

[Stacy]

So if he was a ballerina, would you be okay with that?

[Jeff]

No.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah, I mean, honestly, I would like, I would like him to play baseball and football and soccer, but if he's going to be a B, you know, if he's going to be in the ballet, he's going to be in the ballet. That's the way it's going to work around here.

[Melissa]

He's a little fellow, though.

[Stacy]

You're saying the words. I just don't think anybody's buying him.

[Burt (Host)]

Because there's a truth and there's like, you want, I want him to be a baseball player. But if he's going to be in ballet, then he's going to take him.

[Jeff]

To Atlanta Motor Speedway.

[Burt (Host)]

I made the call yesterday.

[Stacy]

Okay.

[Burt (Host)]

Hey, Tracy, good morning. You're on all the hits. Q100 highs.

[Caller 1]

Hi. I've got a six year old who's been playing baseball since he was four and I see nothing wrong with it. As long as you don't push him into something he doesn't want to do.

[Burt (Host)]

That's exactly what I'm saying. Like, I'm not pushing him. No, I'm not. I'm introducing him. I'm just exposing him.

[Caller 1]

I mean, that's what we did when my son, he was three, about to turn four and he played pre T ball and it's nothing where free T ball, anything like that. It was just to introduce him to baseball to see if he would like it, and he did. And he's been playing ever since.

[Melissa]

I shoved a soccer ball into my wife's uterus. When it came to fetus, let him play. Kick that around a little bit. Move the placenta out of the way. Kick it off.

[Stacy]

Now.

[Jeff]

I'm a big sports fan. If I had children, I would want them to be involved in sports. I just think based on my brother's experience and watching him, you know, because I think he suffered because of that feeling like his father didn't accept him for who he was.

[Burt (Host)]

And I hear you.

[Jeff]

That I would pay more attention to what my child was naturally gravitated towards. So that's why I say that if he dropped. If the only thing he has dropped everything for is nascar. I can't believe I'm saying this about nascar, but. But push him in the direct. I mean, not push him, but expose him to more NASCAR stuff. You were pushing baseball on him because that was your sport.

[Burt (Host)]

I'm not pushing. I'm exposing. Playing with the neighborhood kid. Borrowing the neighborhood kid is just exposing him.

[Stacy]

Do you really believe that?

[Burt (Host)]

No, I really have not.

[Jeff]

If I was a kid and I saw my father playing with another kid, I'm like, why didn't daddy love.

[Burt (Host)]

No. I mean, it's not like Hayden sitting in the living room while the kid is outside in the back, back in the backyard. I mean, we're all out there together. It's just that Hayden's off to the side.

[Melissa]

Hayden's off to the side working on his pirouettes.

[Burt (Host)]

He's cheering, right?

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[Burt (Host)]

The Bird show.

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[Melissa]

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[Burt (Host)]

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