The Bert Show: Vault – Bert's April Fools Prank Goes Wrong!

Episode Date: April 1, 2026
Theme: The unintended consequences of a radio April Fool’s prank involving Bert, his son, and a visit from child protective services.

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into an April Fool’s prank gone awry: Bert finally agrees to stage a controversial gag involving his young son, a fake tattoo, and a setup at a tattoo parlor—all to prove whether anyone would believe the stunt. The prank’s aftermath spirals unexpectedly when a listener escalates concern all the way to the governor’s office, resulting in child protective services (DEFACS) visiting Bert’s home. What started as a radio bit turns into a wild story of misunderstanding, genuine fear, and debate over what makes for good morning show fodder.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Team’s Mixed Feelings About Pranks (00:30–01:31)

• Bert compares his skepticism of April Fool’s radio bits to Jeff Dollar’s dislike of Halloween, critiquing typical morning show pranks as “so stupid” and underestimating the audience’s intelligence.
• Quote:
  “I've heard maybe one or two total that were good. And the rest of them are just so stupid. And I just think the audience is smarter than that...”
  —Bert (01:31)

2. Planning the Tattoo Prank (02:12–03:36)

• Reluctantly, Bert agrees to the team’s idea: fake tattooing his six-year-old son Hayden, complete with makeup, a staged visit to a real parlor, and photos for social media.
• Quote:
  “The agreement... I said to these guys, we won't get one phone call from anybody [who] believes that the Burt's Big Adventure guy has the capability of bringing his six year old to a tattoo parlor and actually getting a tattoo.”
  —Bert (05:16)

3. Hayden’s Oscar-Worthy Acting (03:54–05:18)

• Hayden plays his role to perfection, even making himself cry for the photos.
• The team marvels at his acting and jokes about sending him straight to Hollywood.
• Quote:
  “He was in character. Totally in character. Didn't break character. Right.”
  —Bert (05:18)

4. Publishing the Photos & Waiting for Reactions (05:44–08:02)

• Bert posts the photos, teasing Facebook commenters and expecting radio listeners to recognize the bit as a prank.
• The team bets on whether a single complaint call will come in.

5. The Unexpected DEFACS Visit (08:02–10:29)

• The prank takes a serious turn when Bert arrives home to find his babysitter panicked and a child protective services worker (DEFACS) in his living room.
• A concerned listener had contacted the Georgia governor’s office, who escalated the complaint directly to DEFACS.
• Quote:
  “We got a complaint to the governor's office yesterday... this person that called to complain was so concerned... the governor's office moved on it quickly.”
  —Bert (09:12)

6. Is This Even Real? (10:33–13:17)

• Doubt and paranoia set in among the team. Bert wonders if he’s the victim of a prank within a prank.
• They check DEFACS worker credentials, with Bert insisting on having seen the badge, posting proof online to convince coworkers.

7. Aftermath and Reflection (14:54–17:31)

• Bert worries about the permanent repercussions, but the DEFACS visit ends as a routine check with no flag.
• The team jokes about the scale of the prank, while Bert reveals how stressful and frightening it was for his family.
• Quote:
  “Like, from the outside looking in, I'm sure you think it's funny, but when Defects comes to your home and your flag for your kids, it really is a very, very serious thing. Like, I can't find a lot of humor in it.”
  —Bert (17:04)

8. Stacy’s (Bert’s Wife) Account (17:17–18:38)

• Stacy describes how the DEFACS worker was gentle and apologetic, checked Hayden’s arm, and reassured them.
• She insists she’ll never laugh about it, emphasizing the stress and absurdity of the whole experience.
• Quote:
  “There's nothing funny about it. I'm never gonna laugh about it... DBAX came to our house for absolutely no reason for something totally ridiculous and it just devastating.”
  —Stacy (18:40)

9. Lessons Learned and the Team’s Reaction (18:49–19:55)

• Bert takes responsibility, admitting he regrets going along with the bit and should have followed his gut.
• The team tries to find humor and legacy in the story, with some considering it radio legend, but the emotional toll is clear.

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “I've heard maybe one or two total [April Fool’s pranks] that were good. And the rest of them are just so stupid...” —Bert (01:31)
• “The first couple of seconds, he's in the chair. He was fine... and then he started acting so well. I'm like, Hayden, why are you freaking out? ... and he goes, ‘You told me to act.’” —Bert about Hayden (04:45)
• “We won't get one phone call from anybody... We will not get one call, so let's not do it.” —Bert (05:16)
• “DEFACS is here. I swear to you.” —Babysitter relayed by Bert (08:41)
• “This person called the governor's office. They immediately sent them to my house.” —Bert (10:09)
• “I want you to swear on your family that this is not an April Fool's Day joke that you're in on.” —Bert (12:12)
• “DBAX came to our house for absolutely no reason... it's just devastating.” —Stacy (18:40)

Important Segments & Timestamps

• Why Bert Dislikes Pranks: 00:30–01:31
• Explanation & Execution of the Tattoo Prank: 02:12–05:44
• Posting Photos and Waiting for Reactions: 05:44–08:02
• DEFACS Arrives: 08:02–10:29
• Debunking/Is This a Prank on Bert?: 10:29–13:17
• Stacy’s Account of the DEFACS Visit: 17:17–18:38
• Reflecting on Consequences: 18:49–19:55

Tone and Takeaways

The episode is a rollercoaster of playful banter and real anxiety, blending Bert’s dry skepticism, his teammates’ mischievous encouragement, and the genuine fear his family felt when authorities showed up. For listeners, it’s a cautionary tale showing how quickly an “obvious” joke can spiral, especially when kids, the internet, and public concern collide.

For those who haven’t listened, this episode is packed with both cringe-worthy and eye-opening moments—highlighting the unpredictable power of radio, the potential dangers of viral stunts, and the thin line between a “good” joke and unintended consequences.