Vault: Bert's April Fools Prank Goes Wrong!

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault – Bert's April Fools Prank Goes Wrong!

Episode Date: April 1, 2026
Theme: The unintended consequences of a radio April Fool’s prank involving Bert, his son, and a visit from child protective services.

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into an April Fool’s prank gone awry: Bert finally agrees to stage a controversial gag involving his young son, a fake tattoo, and a setup at a tattoo parlor—all to prove whether anyone would believe the stunt. The prank’s aftermath spirals unexpectedly when a listener escalates concern all the way to the governor’s office, resulting in child protective services (DEFACS) visiting Bert’s home. What started as a radio bit turns into a wild story of misunderstanding, genuine fear, and debate over what makes for good morning show fodder.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Team’s Mixed Feelings About Pranks (00:30–01:31)

• Bert compares his skepticism of April Fool’s radio bits to Jeff Dollar’s dislike of Halloween, critiquing typical morning show pranks as “so stupid” and underestimating the audience’s intelligence.
• Quote:
  “I've heard maybe one or two total that were good. And the rest of them are just so stupid. And I just think the audience is smarter than that...”
  —Bert (01:31)

2. Planning the Tattoo Prank (02:12–03:36)

• Reluctantly, Bert agrees to the team’s idea: fake tattooing his six-year-old son Hayden, complete with makeup, a staged visit to a real parlor, and photos for social media.
• Quote:
  “The agreement... I said to these guys, we won't get one phone call from anybody [who] believes that the Burt's Big Adventure guy has the capability of bringing his six year old to a tattoo parlor and actually getting a tattoo.”
  —Bert (05:16)

3. Hayden’s Oscar-Worthy Acting (03:54–05:18)

• Hayden plays his role to perfection, even making himself cry for the photos.
• The team marvels at his acting and jokes about sending him straight to Hollywood.
• Quote:
  “He was in character. Totally in character. Didn't break character. Right.”
  —Bert (05:18)

4. Publishing the Photos & Waiting for Reactions (05:44–08:02)

• Bert posts the photos, teasing Facebook commenters and expecting radio listeners to recognize the bit as a prank.
• The team bets on whether a single complaint call will come in.

5. The Unexpected DEFACS Visit (08:02–10:29)

• The prank takes a serious turn when Bert arrives home to find his babysitter panicked and a child protective services worker (DEFACS) in his living room.
• A concerned listener had contacted the Georgia governor’s office, who escalated the complaint directly to DEFACS.
• Quote:
  “We got a complaint to the governor's office yesterday... this person that called to complain was so concerned... the governor's office moved on it quickly.”
  —Bert (09:12)

6. Is This Even Real? (10:33–13:17)

• Doubt and paranoia set in among the team. Bert wonders if he’s the victim of a prank within a prank.
• They check DEFACS worker credentials, with Bert insisting on having seen the badge, posting proof online to convince coworkers.

7. Aftermath and Reflection (14:54–17:31)

• Bert worries about the permanent repercussions, but the DEFACS visit ends as a routine check with no flag.
• The team jokes about the scale of the prank, while Bert reveals how stressful and frightening it was for his family.
• Quote:
  “Like, from the outside looking in, I'm sure you think it's funny, but when Defects comes to your home and your flag for your kids, it really is a very, very serious thing. Like, I can't find a lot of humor in it.”
  —Bert (17:04)

8. Stacy’s (Bert’s Wife) Account (17:17–18:38)

• Stacy describes how the DEFACS worker was gentle and apologetic, checked Hayden’s arm, and reassured them.
• She insists she’ll never laugh about it, emphasizing the stress and absurdity of the whole experience.
• Quote:
  “There's nothing funny about it. I'm never gonna laugh about it... DBAX came to our house for absolutely no reason for something totally ridiculous and it just devastating.”
  —Stacy (18:40)

9. Lessons Learned and the Team’s Reaction (18:49–19:55)

• Bert takes responsibility, admitting he regrets going along with the bit and should have followed his gut.
• The team tries to find humor and legacy in the story, with some considering it radio legend, but the emotional toll is clear.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “I've heard maybe one or two total [April Fool’s pranks] that were good. And the rest of them are just so stupid...” —Bert (01:31)
• “The first couple of seconds, he's in the chair. He was fine... and then he started acting so well. I'm like, Hayden, why are you freaking out? ... and he goes, ‘You told me to act.’” —Bert about Hayden (04:45)
• “We won't get one phone call from anybody... We will not get one call, so let's not do it.” —Bert (05:16)
• “DEFACS is here. I swear to you.” —Babysitter relayed by Bert (08:41)
• “This person called the governor's office. They immediately sent them to my house.” —Bert (10:09)
• “I want you to swear on your family that this is not an April Fool's Day joke that you're in on.” —Bert (12:12)
• “DBAX came to our house for absolutely no reason... it's just devastating.” —Stacy (18:40)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Why Bert Dislikes Pranks: 00:30–01:31
• Explanation & Execution of the Tattoo Prank: 02:12–05:44
• Posting Photos and Waiting for Reactions: 05:44–08:02
• DEFACS Arrives: 08:02–10:29
• Debunking/Is This a Prank on Bert?: 10:29–13:17
• Stacy’s Account of the DEFACS Visit: 17:17–18:38
• Reflecting on Consequences: 18:49–19:55

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Tone and Takeaways

The episode is a rollercoaster of playful banter and real anxiety, blending Bert’s dry skepticism, his teammates’ mischievous encouragement, and the genuine fear his family felt when authorities showed up. For listeners, it’s a cautionary tale showing how quickly an “obvious” joke can spiral, especially when kids, the internet, and public concern collide.

For those who haven’t listened, this episode is packed with both cringe-worthy and eye-opening moments—highlighting the unpredictable power of radio, the potential dangers of viral stunts, and the thin line between a “good” joke and unintended consequences.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

The Birch Show. All right, so let's backtrack here a little bit. April Fool's Day. I feel about April Fool's Day the same way Jeff dollar feels about Halloween.

[C]

I just, for whatever reason, Halloween bugs me. So I don't particularly.

[D]

It's not hard, but that's okay.

[C]

But I appreciate Melissa's, you know, passion for it. But for me, I just don't. I don't know why. I don't know. I just never got into Halloween. I think I've only been to one Jack, Hugh, lantern. I think I've only been to one in the eight that we've done.

[B]

Just not into it. Don't feel like engaging it.

[C]

Just hook kids up. You come to my door and knock, you get candy. I'm okay.

[D]

I'll say.

[E]

You always appreciate how it allows women to be whorish. Yes, Yes.

[C]

I definitely appreciate looking at the picture gallery from Big Wicked. If I was a single dude, there'd be no place I would not be the weekend of Halloween other than our party. And I appreciate Melissa's passion for it. And I.

[D]

My passion for it is different than Jeff's. You know, that whole comment is something I'm not into.

[B]

It's not so much April Fool's Day that I have a problem with. It's April Fool's Day on morning shows that I have the real problem with because the jokes. I've been doing this quite a while and I've never really. I mean, in the amount of time I've been doing this, I've heard maybe one or two total that were good. And the rest of them are just so stupid. And I just think the audience is smarter than that and they're just so dumb. Like a couple of years ago, somebody one morning show was playing the sound of, like, cats underneath them talking on the air and during the commercial so people would think there was a cat in the car. Stupid. We all listened to it. We all came in here the next day and we're like, that show is

[C]

so stupid because they executed it poorly.

[B]

Well, for seven years now, these guys have wanted to do something and I'VE been strong on it. No, no, no, no, no. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. So finally I was beat down and I said, okay, let's go ahead. I'm going to prove my point to you guys this year and last year it was suggested that we take Hayden to a tattoo parlor.

[E]

Your son?

[B]

My son Hayden is six. He's six now. He was five last year. Take him to a tattoo parlor. We'll have some makeup artist come on in. They'll put a fake tattoo on his arm. We'll go to a psycho tattoo or whatever and we'll pretend we're putting a tattoo on him and we'll put the pictures up on the website and people will call and they will complain left and right. How could you do this to your 5 year old? It's inhumane. Take the child away. And I thought there is nobody in our listening audience that will buy that for one second. We're going to spend all morning long talking about it and nobody. We will not get one call, so let's not do it. So I fought him off last year and we're in our post show meeting and they're beating me down, and they're beating me down. So finally I think to myself, I said, all right, let's prove this point. This is going to be the year. So I say, fine, let's go. Bethany comes over and she puts the same tattoo that I have on my arm. She fakes one on my six year old's arms.

[E]

Hayden, you have their initials, your kids initials on your arm.

[B]

HLW we all have the same initial. Then I go up to psycho tattoo with Hayden and my wife Stacy and Hollis. And Hayden sits in the tattooer's chair. He brings the tattoo gun out. There's no needle attached or anything, but we pretend to mock this tattoo on Stacey on Hayden's arm.

[D]

And Hayden's acting skills, like Bird has been bragging about this for a long time. But those pictures, I mean, when I first saw that one picture of his fear that, I mean, brilliant, like you were even concerned.

[B]

Yeah. He was so good at it that as soon as we were done, I called Tracy and I started to waver a little bit. I started thinking maybe somebody will buy it because. And this is all based on Hayden A. The tattoo came out so real and Hayden is sitting in this chair and you can. He's acting and you could see the fear in his eyes.

[D]

And he can make himself cry and

[B]

he can make himself cry too. This is why the kid wants to get into acting. Right?

[E]

He should he's so good at it.

[C]

You need to get him into acting right now. Like, he needs to be on a soap opera or seriously, didn't you say,

[E]

like, hayden, there's no need to be scared? And he was like, what, dad, I'm in character. Isn't this what you wanted me to do?

[B]

Well, because this is the progression of things. The first couple of seconds, he's in the chair. He was fine, right? And then they brought the tattoo gun out, and that's a pretty intimidating looking thing. So there's about 10 seconds there where he's like, what's going on here? What are you guys doing? And he's nervous for about 10 seconds. And that's when I'm. I'm taking all the pictures. And then he bought into it, and then he started acting so well. I'm like, hayden, why are you freaking out? You know, there's no needle in there. Nothing's gonna happen to you. And he stops and he goes, you told me to act. And I said, okay. And then he went, switched it right back on.

[D]

Love it.

[E]

He was in character.

[B]

Totally in character. Didn't break character. Right.

[C]

If you hadn't told me what a good act, told us what a good actor he was, I would have thought that you told him that he was really getting a tattoo in order to freak him out. And then you're like, look, dude, we're not gonna turn the needle on.

[B]

Which you couldn't do to a kid. You just couldn't do that to me.

[C]

You couldn't do that in theater.

[B]

Jeff could, but Jeff could. That's why he's not having kids yet. But you can't do that.

[C]

Look, if you're trying to pull off an April Fool's Day joke, then sacrifice your kid.

[B]

So the pictures came out so good, I put up, I post them on Facebook, and immediately I start to get instant. And by the way, the goal here, the agreement that we had made in the post show meeting, this is a really important part of this whole thing, is I said to these guys, we won't get one phone call from anybody. Believes that the Burt's Big Adventure guy has the capability of bringing his six year old to a tattoo parlor and actually getting a tattoo. We won't get one call, y'.

[F]

All.

[B]

Not one.

[D]

And we said, all it takes is one call. And I said, we said there would definitely be somebody that will call. Believe this and be mad at you.

[C]

Now, keep in mind.

[D]

But it was a phone call is what the bet. I mean, pretty much. It was kind of a bad payoff on whether we were gonna do April Fool's again or not.

[B]

I think we were just trying to prove to each other that, is it a good idea or a bad idea?

[C]

Keep in mind, the discussion that we would have is, you are listening to the same radio station, and if I'm about to put you in this category, I apologize if it makes you feel silly, but you're listening to the same radio station who receives calls every time they air. A president or a presidential candidate cussing during a televised news conference, claiming that by watching the show on cable, on high definition, you will hear the profanity.

[B]

And we always get calls.

[E]

People can only believe it.

[C]

We've gotten calls from news journalists, writers of newspapers.

[D]

Sorry about that. But you did call.

[C]

Called us up and fought us on the fact that that probably wasn't real.

[D]

So of course we're gonna get a phone call about Hayden's tattoo.

[B]

And I was saying just one.

[D]

We definitely were gon.

[B]

Do we get one call on it? Then we can continue to do April Fool's Day jokes. So I started to get a little nervous because I posted the pictures on Facebook, and immediately I start to get instant messages from irate listeners. How could you do that to your son?

[D]

So there were two.

[B]

And I even. I even tried helping the bit because I wrote. I didn't write back to them saying it was an April Fool's Day joke. I wrote back in these instant messages saying, what's the big deal? He just wants to be like, daddy or, geez, why is everybody so upset? You said, thinking that they might call the next day on the show. So we come in here, and all morning long, we're waiting for the one call from one irate listener.

[F]

Yes.

[E]

Melissa and I were looking at each other going, please call somebody.

[D]

Call somebody.

[E]

And I was like. I was even like, should I have a friend of mine call?

[D]

And I'm like, yeah.

[E]

I'm like, I can get one of them.

[D]

Somebody call.

[B]

I walked out of here feeling great about things yesterday. It's 10 o'. Clock. I proved my point. I don't have to come on and gloat today or anything like that. It's done. April Fool's Day jokes are stupid. Our listeners are smarter than that. There will be no April Fool's Day jokes ever on the Burt Show. So I wish the story ended there. And I could say that absolutely nobody bought it, because I drive home at about noon yesterday, and as soon as I get into the garage, the babysitter runs out and she meets Me in the garage with a panicked look on her face. And I said, what's up? And she said, you're not gonna believe what's happening in the house right now. I said, what's going on? She said, defects is here. I swear to you.

[E]

Now you are kidding.

[B]

My first thought is, this is a setup by Jeff. I said, there's no way. There's no. And this. This is kind of a common theme. When anything really strange happens to me in my life, my first thought is always, jeff's behind it.

[C]

Dude, I'm in Vegas. Well, I'm on the other side of the country.

[B]

I'll tell you why. I started to think that you were behind it. So I'm like, are you kidding? She's like, yes. And they are serious. So I gingerly walk into the house, and sure enough, there's a defects worker.

[D]

You're kidding.

[B]

That in my living, talking to my babysitter. Now, Hayden is in school at this point, so she has Hollis in one hand, and she's talking to this defects worker who wants to check out Hollis. Also, Stacy's out of the house. Nobody had called her yet. I just got there. The defects worker, I'm assuming, was there maybe five minutes. So nobody had called Stacey yet. So I get in there, and this guy is serious. He's like, we got a complaint to the governor's office yesterday. They didn't call defects themselves. They called defects. They called the governor's office. Now, normally, what the governor does is he gives them the. Or his office gives them the direct line number to defects. But the worker told me that this person that called to complain was so concerned. Is a person of such power that the governor's office moved on it quickly. It usually takes you three years.

[C]

Come on.

[B]

Swear. Everything I'm telling you right now, I swear to you on Hayden's fake tattoo is the truth. So they pushed the file and the case forward. It takes two or three weeks for a defects worker to get to your house. But because this. And I don't know who it is, he wouldn't tell me. This person called the governor's office. They immediately sent them to my house.

[C]

So it's obviously either an elected official or somewhere.

[D]

Are you serious?

[B]

A public officer. If I'm being. If this is an April Fool's Day joke, then it is on me and my family at this point, because everything I am reciting to you is the absolute truth so far.

[D]

I was thinking that.

[B]

I mean, I got Bert's tweet, and

[E]

I was like, I bet you I know who came to the house yesterday afternoon.

[D]

And that's what I thought all day yesterday. I didn't even think about that because you sent that tweet out and I didn't even think that was connected to that at all.

[B]

What was your tweet, Stacy? I just wrote. And I wrote this on Facebook also. I wrote, not entirely shocked by who just showed up, who just knocked at my door. So now the defects worker is there and he's really serious about it. And he said once they got the call, they all went around my Facebook page and they were looking at it and they couldn't tell if it was real or not. They're looking at Hayden's face and he's doing such a good acting job that they were like, I guess we gotta go out there. It doesn't make any sense to us, but we gotta go on out to the house. So he does. He comes out yesterday. Hayden's not there, but he's checking Hollis out left and right. And he's asking me questions and he's asking the babysitter all sorts of questions. And because Hayden is not there, he leaves. And he's actually at my house right now, again, right this second, before Hayden goes to school at 8 o'. Clock. Hayden and my wife right now at this very second, are talking to a defects worker.

[D]

Oh, no.

[E]

So are you mad at us for making.

[B]

No, I'm not mad at you.

[C]

Then it worked. No, dude, our April Fool's Day joke got us a call to Sonny's office. It's the best April Fool's Day joke of all time.

[B]

Now here's where else I thought it's really freaky.

[D]

Now I'm in such a world of distress because of April Fool's that I'm sitting here just like. Really?

[B]

Yeah. Up until last night when I went to sleep, I recited one word or one sentence to Stacey probably a dozen times. I want you to swear on your family that this is not an April Fool's Day joke that you're in on. And she said, no, absolutely not. And she was freaked out about it last night. And I gotta tell you, when I knew defax was coming this morning. I haven't cleaned my office in four weeks. It is. It is clean. Cuz I figured they were gonna go through every room and every office and the family is freaked.

[C]

How do you know the defects worker is real?

[E]

I feel bad now.

[B]

He brought the badge, so I saw the badge and. Are you joking with me?

[C]

No.

[B]

You are, aren't you?

[C]

No, I'm Not. I'm just wondering how you know.

[D]

You've got that look on your face.

[B]

He does.

[D]

He has that joke.

[E]

You do.

[B]

Because it would be a really bad joke. Stacy would be really pissed.

[C]

I'm not the warm line. I'm not. I swear to God, I'm not. I'm just wondering how you knew the defects worker was real.

[B]

I mean, he had the badge, and we've made a copy of the badge, and we have it up online right [e-mail]. We took the dude's face and his name.

[E]

Are you really behind it?

[C]

No.

[D]

If.

[E]

Dude, sure.

[C]

Swear to God.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Because it almost makes me mad that defects would be that fast on you when there's plenty of homes that defects needs to be in.

[B]

There's a whole bunch of things that just don't make sense to me in this whole story, which is why I still even now believe that. An April Fool's Day joke, huh? And I thought, even.

[D]

That's so weird.

[B]

I mean, I'm doing every scenario in my head. Like, if Jeff was behind us and he told you guys about it, I know that you guys would stand up and you'd say, there's no way that we can do that. It would be too stressful. Stacey would be a mess. There's no way.

[D]

So I thought, you're serious?

[E]

And that's.

[D]

It doesn't make any sense because the governor's office has a lot more to worry about than. I don't know, whatever.

[E]

Well, but I think.

[B]

I don't put it really on the. And I'm thinking in my head also. The governor's been in the studio five times. He knows about Burt's big adventure. Everybody in his office knows also. So a lot of it's just not making sense.

[E]

I mean, I'm not putting it on

[D]

the governor's office because you have to respond to whatever, but it just sounds weird. It just sounds. It still doesn't sound real to me.

[B]

And all I could think of is, even if it was a joke, they couldn't send a real defects worker out to my house, because if it ever got out that it was a joke, people would be like, you're spending our tax money on joking a radio guy. Right?

[F]

Right.

[B]

So if it's a joke, I don't believe the governor's office is behind it at all.

[C]

Now, that would be bragging rights. If I could get Governor Sonny Perdue to help me out with an April Fool's Day prank using the. Using government agencies, it's like, it went Too well.

[B]

It went too well for one. For some really naive powered person.

[E]

Like, I don't know, like, if everyone actually has, like, a permanent record. But is this something that goes on some permanent.

[B]

No, it doesn't. That was one of my first questions I asked him yesterday. I'm like, so is this. Are we stuck here? Like, if somebody else wants to prank me, are we flagged? And he said, no. There's a division where they just send a defects worker out to your house, and if they find nothing, then you go into, like, the dismissed file. It's never, ever red flagged or anything like that.

[E]

But I hate that.

[D]

If that were the case now, let me.

[B]

You know how many times I spanked my kid in six years? Twice. Right. Even then, I had 48 hours of complete guilty pang.

[C]

Because normally you just burn them with a cigarette.

[D]

But. But that.

[B]

No joke.

[D]

Since that listener. Since that listener used the phone to call the governor's office, doesn't that still qualify?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Is the fact that we won this

[C]

whole Melissa, this is the best April fool radio joke ever.

[B]

I still.

[D]

I mean, don't believe the defects then.

[B]

Stacey's on the warm line right now, and I firmly believe when I pick her up, she's gonna go, dude, I was just messing with you, because I still. Everything's just not making sense to me.

[E]

But she swore on her family last night so that she wasn't joking.

[B]

She swore on Hayden Hollis and her mother, everybody.

[D]

But if her toes are crossed, it doesn't count.

[E]

Did you have your fingers crossed?

[B]

Hey, baby.

[F]

Hi.

[B]

Are they there right now?

[F]

No.

[B]

Was he there this morning and left already?

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Was it a joke?

[F]

No. Whoever did, it's not funny.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know that it's. Somebody did it as a joke or somebody like that Was listening, was really serious that really thought that we might do that to Hayden. Well, whoever it was is.

[F]

They have serious issues.

[E]

Well, they.

[C]

It's fair.

[B]

I think it's fair if they really

[E]

thought by the initial joke, I mean,

[B]

Hayden was so good. I mean, he really was. And the makeup was so good that this could have happened out of genuine concern. And if that's the case, then I can't put it on anybody. I'll tell you who the person. I'm kicking myself in the ass because I've said for seven years, we don't do these. And the one time I say, yes, this is how it ends up. So I'm busting my own ass for not following my gut.

[C]

Dude, this is a legendary story. Like, every Radio station does a amusement park at an intersection. Two roads are unparalleled. Ha ha ha. That's funny and everything the next day, oh, there's crickets running behind all the signs. That's funny. You had the governor's office involved in your April Fool's Day job.

[B]

I know, but here's what you're missing. Like, from the outside looking in, I'm sure you think it's funny, but when Defects comes to your home and your flag for your kids, it really is a very, very serious thing. Like, I can't find a lot of humor in it.

[C]

Right. But now that it's all said and done and everything's fine.

[D]

Well, let's talk to Stacey. She's on the phone. What happened this morning that he did not have a tattoo, and was that enough, or did they still interrogate you?

[F]

No, they didn't ask me any questions at all. I mean, he just came to the door, and he was very, very nice. And I went to the door with Hayden because I knew, you know, why he was here, and pulled Hayden's shirt sleeve up so he could see his arm, and he said, nope, doesn't look like there's any tattoo there. And he said, your daddy's pretty funny guy. And then, you know, that was about it. But he was really sweet to Hayden when he first got here. He was like, you know, like, I hear you're a celebrity, and you did a funny joke. And so he was making him feel real comfortable. So he didn't really know, you know, what was going on. We just told him this was some guy that didn't believe daddy's joke, and he had to come see for himself.

[B]

And, you know, I took his name off of the badge and I took his face off the badge that's posted because I figured you guys wouldn't believe me. That's why I posted the defects badge. And I don't know what this guy's name is, but he was really. He was a really nice guy yesterday. I mean, he almost felt. He was almost apologizing for having. Having to be.

[E]

Having to go, yeah, yeah.

[F]

So, yeah, I mean, he did this morning, too. He's like, I'm really sorry that y' all had to go through this or whatever. So, you know, I mean, it's legit, and it's not funny at all. There's nothing funny about it. I'm never gonna laugh about it, you know, and somebody. It's just not funny.

[B]

Well, I mean, I don't care if

[F]

they say it goes in A dismiss file or not. Dbax came to our house for absolutely no reason for something totally ridiculous and it just devastating.

[B]

If you're angry, you can't be angry at the person that actually made the call because we don't know what their motivation was. If it was real, then I. That's a legit call. I think if you have anybody to be mad at, it's me for going along with it, you know?

[E]

Well, you guys all thought everybody would understand. It's a come on.

[B]

I mean, based on the care like who. It's just not possible. That's why I figured. That's why we didn't get one call on it yesterday.

[C]

I think it's a badge of honor for your kid too. I'm bragging about that for the rest of my life. No, because you put a hundred.

[E]

Such a good actor.

[B]

He did do a good job. He did do a great job.

[C]

And you know what? I hope Hayden understands the power that he has now over you. He turns on those tears in a public place. Defects will be right back at your house.

[E]

You guys need to Hollywood this summer and get that kid starting acting in commercials immediately.

[B]

Seriously, right? He's got the Academy Award in his back pocket. All right, baby, I'm sorry about it this.

[E]

Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry that you went to that place. Yeah.

[D]

I'm so shocked.

[E]

I can't.

[B]

I can't believe it. Yeah, I bet I was. We were both really, really nervous last night. Like we're looking around the house. Like, is there anything in the house right now that could, you know, somehow some way indicate to them that we're not good parents? I mean, when you got the threat. Yeah, it was absurd.

[F]

The whole thing is absurd.

[E]

I mean, well, I mean, it was.

[F]

I like freak out if he has a hangnail.

[B]

Right?

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Like we would ever do anything, you know, to hurt him. I'm too soft.

[E]

Yeah. And it was so believable. I mean, it was just that the pictures spoke for themselves.

[B]

All right, honey, I'm going to take some calls. I'll talk to you later. Bye.

[C]

Bye. I might go to morning show boot camp this year just to brag about this.

[E]

Seriously, this is radio success.

[C]

This is the greatest April Fool's Day joke ever. The Birch Show.