The Bert Show – Vault: Couples Narc On Their Spouses For Donating Too Much!

Date: March 16, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode explores a unique and often overlooked source of tension in relationships: disagreements over charitable donations. Sparked by a recent sermon from Andy Stanley at Buckhead Church, Bert and the cast open the phones to listeners whose relationships have been tested by differing attitudes about giving—whether it’s donating money, volunteering time, or tithing to religious organizations. The tone is candid and humorous, as always, but the conversations unearth deeply personal dilemmas and emotional stories.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

The Sermon That Sparked the Conversation

• [01:30] Bert (Host): Introduces Andy Stanley’s sermon about balancing how much money to donate versus keep, and notes that some couples genuinely fight about over-giving.
  • "I had never heard that before really, where the argument is like we are giving away too much money. Stop donating so much money to to a point where it's causing a lot of friction in the family."
• Invites listeners to share their stories, offering voice disguisers for privacy.

The Hosts’ Personal Takes

• [02:36] Jessica (Co-host): Admits to donating “generally” to almost anyone who asks.
  • "Until today, I donated pretty much to anyone who would ask."
• Her partner prefers fewer, more meaningful donations, leading to ongoing debates.
• [03:00] Jessica (Co-host): Notes donations aren’t just about money, but time commitment too.
  • "Sometimes I'll offer through the radio or whatever to be a part of a fundraiser or a charity or something like that … and she will say, don't do that, because it dilutes when you do something that you really do care about."
• [03:52] Bert (Host): Acknowledges at least the couple agrees on the principle of giving—unlike others where one wants to donate everything, the other nothing.

Callers' Stories & Relationship Friction

Caller: Sally

• [04:45–06:13] Sally: Self-confessed over-donor, describing a lifetime of extreme generosity.
  • "In college, I had a girlfriend who wanted to be an attorney, and I gave her my tuition and didn't go that semester, so she could go because she didn't have the money. So it started when I was young." [05:18]
  • Recently hosted a 300-person church dinner out of her own pocket—a major source of marital friction.
• Balances giving with financial stability ("we have seven children"), but still feels compelled to help.

Caller: Jennifer

• [07:20–08:52] Jennifer: Shares a story from college about a friend’s father, a preacher, who donated his entire salary back to the church, leaving the family financially strained.
  • "He gave 100%. She told me about it. I guess she had a problem with it too, because then she needed money...and she had to beg her grandparents for money because her dad was giving it all back to the church." [08:46]
• Also discusses her own marriage: her husband refuses to give “the full 10%” tithe, feeling church donations are excessive or a “scam.”

Caller: Rebecca

• [09:05–09:43] Rebecca: Ex-husband prioritizes tithing over child support, causing conflict and hardship.
  • "Some months he does not pay his child support on time...because he tells me he has to first pay his tithe to the church, which is a 10%." [09:05]
• Despite church aiding him in overcoming addictions, Rebecca is frustrated by the practical consequences.
• Musings from hosts about whether religious giving should take precedence over family obligations.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jessica: "If I was broke, I'd still donate. I'm buying karma, people. I do a lot of damage in actions that I'm going to try to buy my way into heaven. You Girl Scout cookies. Give me ten bucks. Boxes. What else you got?" [04:34]
• Bert (Host): "So what if one of them doesn't eat? What's the big deal? You still got six healthy ones." (Lightheartedly, about managing a large family while giving generously) [06:22]
• Co-host (Male): "When you pull out all of the paperwork for taxes and you add it up from the last year and, you know, hand it over to the accountant, then that's when it's come up before for me." [06:38]
• Co-hosts debate: Is over-donation a gender issue? Noting that most over-donors on the show are women, with men urging restraint. [07:07]
• Rebecca: "His son needs food on the table. And I think it's ridiculous." [09:43]
• Co-host (Jessica), on priorities: "Son of youf before Son of God. Thank you very much. Write the check." [09:33]
• Co-host (Male): "Feed your kids." [09:37]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:30: Bert introduces the main topic and Andy Stanley’s sermon.
• 02:36: Jessica discusses her approach to donations and its impact on her relationship.
• 03:00: Discussion expands to donating time as well as money.
• 04:45–06:13: Sally’s extreme giving stories, including paying for a 300-person dinner.
• 07:07: Hosts consider whether over-donating is a gendered issue.
• 07:20–08:52: Jennifer’s stories about church tithing causing family hardships.
• 09:05–09:43: Rebecca’s dilemma with her ex-husband prioritizing tithing over child support.

Episode Takeaways

• Donating money—or time—can become a serious source of relationship stress, especially when partners’ philosophies clash.
• Gendered patterns emerged in callers’ stories, with most women reporting being the “over-donors” in their relationships.
• For some, the compulsion to help is rooted in upbringing, faith, or personal history, sometimes leading to significant sacrifice and conflict.
• The cast’s usual humor balanced thoughtfully with empathy and engagement, underlining the real impact these issues have on families.