Vault: Did You Let Your Soulmate Walk Out The Door?

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Bert Show – "Vault: Did You Let Your Soulmate Walk Out The Door?"

Date: March 17, 2026
Theme: Exploring the nature of soulmates—do they exist, can you miss out on yours, and what does being a soulmate mean in real-life relationships?

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Episode Overview

In this episode, The Bert Show dives headfirst into the age-old question: Do you believe in soulmates? The conversation is sparked by a memorable comment from a contestant on The Bachelor, leading to a deeply personal, sometimes funny, and always authentic exploration of what the concept of a soulmate means to each host, listener, and caller. Real stories from listeners about loving—and losing—their soulmate provide raw windows into the complexities of love, partnership, and the reality that the romantic notion of "the one" often collides with practical life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Bachelor "Soulmate" Debate

• The episode kicks off with a Bachelor contestant’s declaration that once she finds her soulmate, neither she nor he would ever be with anyone else—even after death. The comments provoke laughter and skepticism from the hosts, especially considering the show's brief timeline.
  • "She believes in soulmates… The Bachelor was her soulmate… She’s voted off." (01:06)
  • Hosts are amused and a bit incredulous that such devotion could bloom in less than two weeks.

2. What Actually Defines a Soulmate?

• The team puzzles over whether the idea of soulmates is a realistic framework for relationships.
  • Host (Birch): "Do you believe in soulmates, but you also know who is your soulmate and you also know you’re not married to that person?" (01:54)
• Is a soulmate just romantic idealism, or can it withstand real-life struggles?
  • Co-host: "To me, the true romance comes when you’re able to sustain that everyday, detail-to-detail life." (05:16)

3. Caller Stories: Real Experiences with Soulmates

a) Angela: Married, But Her Soulmate is Online (02:13–05:04)

• Angela openly shares that she knows her soulmate—an online friend she’s never met—and is divorcing her husband (not because of the online soulmate, but due to realizing what real connection feels like).
  • "I met him online, and we've never actually met... but we've talked for a year, year and a half and... I knew there was something at the very beginning." (02:24)
  • Angela distinguishes soulmate from romantic intention, focusing on deep understanding and friendship.
  • Co-host’s challenge: "Isn’t it kind of easy to say someone’s your soulmate if you haven’t faced the challenges of real life together?" (04:03)
  • Angela: "I think of the soulmate as somebody who… just really understands you… our sense of humor is spot on…" (04:43)

b) Laura: Lost Her Soulmate to Death, Remarried (06:01–07:21)

• Laura describes losing her soulmate when he passed away young. She wonders: Can we have more than one soulmate in a lifetime?
  • "Does God bring about a second soulmate? Can you have another soulmate?" (06:26)
  • Birch: "If I was your best friend, I’d be telling you yes, there are more than one soulmate…" (07:15)

c) Producer Tracy: Married to Her Soulmate (08:06–09:47)

• Tracy shares an everyday but profound closeness with her husband.
  • "Every single day, I can’t wait to get home to see him… not a day goes by where… we don’t tell each other we love them so many times a day just because we want them to know…" (08:17)
  • Jokes arise about being so inseparable they’re starting to "walk alike." (09:47)

d) Tara: Both She and Her Soulmate Are Married to Others (10:00–11:24)

• Tara and her former partner recognize they are soulmates, though each is now married to someone else. Her and her husband’s openness is surprising to the hosts.
  • "Now we want to be back together with one another and not sure how that's going to happen… our spouses know that we talk. We've all hung out…" (11:04)
  • "Boy, that would be the longest dinner of my life. There would be no dinner at all, actually." – Host (Birch) (11:24)

4. Questioning the Soulmate Narrative

• Hosts revisit and push back on the idea that a soulmate is simply someone different, or a missed opportunity, rather than someone you work to build a long-term relationship with.
  • "I just want to make sure people don't mistake soulmate with missing somebody and a goal to be obtained… or somebody that's available that is so different from what you have right now… it's just a nice alternative…" (11:47)
  • "I wish that we would just get back to where it’s okay to go through some hard work in order to make a relationship work..." (11:55)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Reality TV Romance:
  "Obviously, she knows this after four consecutive days of being around…." – Co-host (01:35)
• On Defining a Soulmate:
  "A soulmate is painting with big, broad brushstrokes and not… thinking about the details of everyday life." – Co-host (05:08)
• On Enduring Love:
  "I've been with the same woman for 14 years. It's the most challenging thing you'll ever do in your life, but most rewarding if you're able to make it work." – Host (Birch) (05:47–05:51)
• On the Power of Togetherness:
  "I can’t imagine a single day in my life where he's not there… not a day goes by where… we’re not compelled on our own to tell the other person that we love them..." – Producer Tracy (08:17)
• On Alternative Relationships:
  "Our spouses know that we talk. We've all hung out, had dinner together..." – Caller Tara (11:04)
• On the Real Meaning of "Soulmate":
  "I do find that I wish we would just get back to where it’s okay to go through some hard work in order to make a relationship work, rather than think your soulmate is the easy person that is just a phone call away." – Co-host (11:55)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [00:45] – Bachelor contestant’s soulmate comment kicks off discussion
• [02:13] – Angela: Married, but soulmate is an online friend
• [06:01] – Laura: Soulmate passed away, remarries, can there be more than one?
• [08:06] – Producer Tracy: Defines her marriage as a soulmate relationship
• [10:00] – Tara: Both she and soulmate are married to others
• [11:47] – Hosts reflect on the difference between "soulmate" and missing someone

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Tone & Style

The tone remains real, personal, and easygoing, typical of The Bert Show’s brand: honesty mixed with humor, gentle teasing, and heartfelt honesty. The hosts and callers grapple sincerely with difficult questions, often poking fun at themselves or each other, but never shying away from the complexity of love, loss, and longing.

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This episode is a candid, multi-voiced look at the mythology of soulmates, challenging listeners to question romantic ideals and consider the real, sometimes messy, stories that form the foundation of lasting relationships.

Transcript

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[Host (Birch)]

The Birch show as it does every year, the Bachelor has opened up spiritual and romantic debate for us. And last night on the Bachelor, I didn't see this. It's as Melissa was watching it, though. She stopped right in her tracks.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well, it's a comment that was made by, I guess she was voted off last night, the Brazilian.

[ZipRecruiter Announcer]

Raquel.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Raquel. And the comment made me, you know, we forced the tv, we stopped the tv, rewound it to listen to it again. And basically, and I was shocked that she would say this on what, the second week of the Bachelor, but basically what she said was that she believes in soulmates, that once she finds her soulmate, that she believes that if anything happened to her, their soulmate would never get married again or never be with anybody again. And then she proceeded to continue saying that the Bachelor was her soulmate. She believed he was the one, whatever. So she's voted off.

[Co-host/Interjector]

Obviously, she knows this after four consecutive days of being around.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Exactly. So that's what was ridiculous to me for two whole weeks. I know, is the fact that she would say that so up front. And I figured that that would scare a guy off pretty quickly. But it started the debate about soulmates and if we believe in them and that kind of thing.

[Host (Birch)]

And the question that we've asked is, do you believe in soulmates, but you also know who is your soulmate and you also know you're not married to that person. And Angela here, I've asked her if she wanted to be on the Voice Disguiser. She said no. Okay. She's married. She don't want to be on the

[Co-host/Commentator]

Voice Disguiser, but she's not married to her soulmate.

[Host (Birch)]

Hey, Angela.

[Caller Angela]

Hey.

[Host (Birch)]

Hey. So you are married.

[Caller Angela]

Yes.

[Host (Birch)]

And you are not married to your soulmate.

[Caller Angela]

No.

[Host (Birch)]

And you Know who your soulmate is?

[Caller Angela]

Yes.

[Host (Birch)]

Bring it on.

[Caller Angela's Voice]

It's just really lame, I guess. I met him online, and we've never actually met or anything, and I don't know if we ever will, and that's okay. But we've talked for, you know, a year, year and a half, and, you know, we're just really good friends. And I knew there was something at the very beginning because we just clicked, and I was, like, really mean to him.

[Caller Angela]

I really

[Caller Angela's Voice]

did not really want to get to know him because I knew there was something there. And so I just kind of kept, you know, shoving him off, shoving him off, and wouldn't really talk to him a whole lot, and it just kind of evolved over time. So, you know, I mean, right now, we're just really good friends.

[Host (Birch)]

Have you. So you've never met him face to face?

[Caller Angela]

No.

[Host (Birch)]

And have you told him that you think he's your soulmate?

[Caller Angela's Voice]

Yeah, I mean, we've talked about that, but there's not necessarily necessarily any romantic intention. I mean, there are just so many practical issues. You know, I mean, I. He lives 450 miles away, and, you know.

[Host (Birch)]

Does your husband know that you're. You have an online relationship with your soulmate?

[Caller Angela's Voice]

Yeah, and actually, we're. We're going through a divorce. Not because of this, just that it. It showed me that there is something more, because I've been with my husband since I was 15. We started dating in high school, and it was never really a healthy relationship. And I never really saw that until you sort of see it from the outside. And it just made me realize that that's not what I wanted.

[Co-host/Commentator]

You know, my challenge to you is because I feel like the soulmate is a very romantic notion, and it's fairytale and everything. Sweet. One thing the fairy tale never talks about, though, is the challenges within your relationship. And I feel like not ever meeting him or living with him or spending time with him, having an argument with him, all those things, I feel. Isn't that just kind of easy and easy to say to your soulmate, where I believe a true soulmate is somebody that there's something there despite all those things that go on? So I don't really know if your relationship with that guy has been challenged to the point that you can honestly say that he's your soulmate. I mean, I don't want to be disrespectful.

[Caller Angela's Voice]

I think of the soulmate as somebody who. Who, you know, just really understands you. Like, our sense of humor is spot on, you know, and I Don't necessarily think that there has to be that romantic.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I understand that. I just feel. I don't know. I. Yeah. I just feel like Casey's more of your rebound than your soulmate.

[Host (Birch)]

He may be, or he's everything that her husband, her current husband isn't.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Right.

[VRBO Announcer]

Yeah. I think a soulmate is painting with big, broad brushstrokes and not, like you said, not thinking about the details of everyday life.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yeah. Because I think everybody in their relationships, whether you're married or not, sometimes you have those days that are rough. But when you're with somebody every single day. To me, that's the thing that I miss in movies is the portrayal of a relationship where they've been together every single day they're married, and there's still romance in it. Where some. So many times we find romance in newness or in cheating or in whatever. Where to me, the true romance comes when you are able to sustain that everyday detail to detail life.

[Host (Birch)]

It's the most challenging thing. I mean, I've been with the same woman for 14 years. It's the most challenging thing you'll ever

[Co-host/Commentator]

do in your life, but most rewarding if you're able to make it work.

[Host (Birch)]

Good morning, Laura, you're on Q100.

[Caller Angela]

Good morning.

[Host (Birch)]

Good morning.

[Caller Angela]

Well, I've not been with the same one for 17 years, so. And I would say that it is challenging and you do have to go through that. And I would say that he wasn't my first verse. I would necessarily have called him my soulmate.

[Host (Birch)]

You kind of fast forwarded. So you're married now, but you know the guy that is your soulmate and you're not with him.

[Caller Angela]

No, because he. He was. Killed him. He passed away. So, I mean, I have no way of being with him. So does God bring about or whoever you want to believe in? For me, it's God. Did God bring about a second soulmate? Can you have another soulmate?

[Host (Birch)]

Yeah, that's a. That is a tricky question because I think if you have a soulmate, is it just one? It's just one. I mean, because isn't it. Isn't that by definition what a soulmate is?

[Caller Angela]

But is it. I mean, I don't know. That was something that happened. It occurred. I mean, there was nothing I could do about that. He died, you know, what do you do, you know, you know that life was taken short, so. So you never experienced life after that at 21?

[Host (Birch)]

Yeah. I don't know. I think if I was your best friend, I'd be telling you yes, There are more than one soulmate. Yes, there are two or three.

[Caller Angela]

That's exactly right. And so now I have to say, you know, at the time, I would say no, just wasn't. Can. Has he developed into my soulmate? I think so. But if you were to say, was he the one?

[VRBO Announcer]

No, I don't know about the one thing. I just think it also is just painting with these broad strokes, and it doesn't. I don't know, it doesn't allow room for, I don't know, just the hard work that it takes. You know, it's like, oh, well, you can hang your hat on that. Just hang your hat on that, and that'll be okay.

[Host (Birch)]

Somebody defined what soulmate is like. Tracy. Producer Tracy here is convinced that she has married her soulmate. So define that for me.

[Producer Tracy]

Well, first of all, I'm not gonna say that that means my relationship is easy and it's perfect all the time. And, you know, I never get angry. I mean, we definitely fight. We definitely argue. There's definitely things about the two of us that annoy each other.

[VRBO Announcer]

But.

[Producer Tracy]

But every single day, I can't wait to get home to see him. You know, I go to the grocery store, and I can't wait to get back home to be with him. There's nothing in my life that I want to do where he's not there. You know, I don't want to see a TV show that I enjoy without him. I don't want to go to a movie without him. I don't want to go anywhere, experience anything without him. And I can't imagine a single day in my life where he's not there. You know, I mean, if I go out of town for two or three days and he's not there, like, it breaks my heart. I hate it. And it's been seven years that we've been together, and, I mean, not a day goes by where, I mean, we're not compelled on our own to tell the other person that we love them so many times a day just because we want them to know, not because, you know, we feel like that's what we're supposed to do, but just because we legitimately feel it.

[Host (Birch)]

And you.

[Co-host/Interjector]

Fascinating.

[Host (Birch)]

And did you say you feel like you're at the Smithsonian looking at a display right now?

[Greenlight Announcer]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interjector]

So you've never gone to the grocery store and then said, hey, you know what? I think I'm gonna go to Stonecrest Mall just because it's not home?

[Producer Tracy]

I mean, honest to God, I was rather.

[Co-host/Interjector]

Me neither. But I'M just saying that's never. Like you've never.

[Producer Tracy]

I'm not saying that like if I

[Co-host/Interjector]

spent the night at North Point Mall.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Spent the night.

[VRBO Announcer]

Spent the night in your car.

[Co-host/Interjector]

Yeah.

[VRBO Announcer]

Or no.

[Co-host/Interjector]

In the Gap.

[Producer Tracy]

I'm not saying I don't run errands or get things done or, you know, spend time with Adam, but.

[Co-host/Interjector]

But you do.

[Host (Birch)]

Necessary.

[Producer Tracy]

In all honesty, if we were going to go to the mall, I'd rather him be there with me.

[VRBO Announcer]

Uh huh.

[Co-host/Interjector]

And you guys walk around together.

[VRBO Announcer]

I hold hands. Two peas in a pod. They almost look alike.

[Host (Birch)]

They did. They're starting to walk alike. I noticed this yesterday. You're walking just like Scott now.

[Producer Tracy]

Or maybe he's just got the pregnancy waddle.

[Co-host/Interjector]

You don't have a pregnancy waddle.

[Host (Birch)]

One more call. Good morning, Tara, you're on Q100.

[Caller Tara]

Good morning, Bircho.

[Host (Birch)]

Good morning. So you believe in soulmates? You know who your soulmate is, but you also know that you're not married to that person.

[Caller Angela]

Correct.

[Caller Tara]

I'm married to someone else and he is also married to someone else.

[Host (Birch)]

Did you guys meet each other while you were both married?

[Caller Tara]

We were. No. We met when we were both much younger and we were together for a long time and we went through some hurt and just broke it off and then married other people and now we want to be back together with one another and not sure how that's going to happen.

[Host (Birch)]

I. Yeah.

[VRBO Announcer]

Did.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Did you feel like he was your cellmate when you were with him?

[Caller Tara]

Yes. We both knew, but we were young. I was 16, he was 18, and we were together for five years and I lost a child and that really put it. Hampered on our relationship at the time. We're young and didn't know how to deal with that.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Right.

[Caller Tara]

But now we're older and like I said, we're both married to other people and we talk every day. Our spouses know that we talk. We've all hung out, had dinner together, stuff like that.

[Host (Birch)]

And your husband knows that you feel this other guy is your soulmate?

[Caller Tara]

Yes.

[Host (Birch)]

Oh, wow. Boy, that would be the longest dinner of my life. There would be no dinner at all, actually.

[Show Promo Announcer]

Wow.

[Host (Birch)]

And we could do. We could continue doing this, you guys, for the next hour. The phone lines are lit up with people that are.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I just want to make sure people.

[Producer Tracy]

I don't know.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I'm trying to think of what my. My idea of soulmate is, but I just want to make sure that people don't mistake soulmate with missing somebody and a goal to be obtained.

[Host (Birch)]

Does that make sense or somebody that's available that is so different than what you have right now. You see them as your soulmate, but really it is. It's just a nice alternative.

[Co-host/Commentator]

And again, it's not. You know, there may be people who legitimately, you know, are not with their soulmate and they know that other person's soulmate. But I do. I do find that I wish that we would just get back to where it's okay to go through some hard work in order to make a relationship work, rather than think your soulmate is the easy person that is just a phone call away.

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