Vault: Do You Save Pictures Of Your Ex?

Summary

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The Bert Show – "Vault: Do You Save Pictures Of Your Ex?"

Release Date: November 19, 2025
Host: Bert and The Bert Show Cast (Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)
Episode Theme:
Exploring the emotional minefield of keeping photos of exes—do you toss them, tuck them away, or keep them out in the open? The hosts and listeners dive into perspectives on sentimentality, boundaries, and what holding on to an old photo really means.

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Episode Overview

In this episode, The Bert Show team reflects on the often testy subject of ex-photos. Prompted by a real-life incident within Bert's own relationship, the cast debates the boundaries around holding onto pictures from past relationships, shares personal stories, and hears from listeners who've faced similar dilemmas. What may seem like a harmless keepsake to some is a dealbreaker to others—a spirited, honest, and funny conversation ensues.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Inciting Incident: Bert, Katie, and the Picture in the Drawer

[01:38]

• Bert recounts discovering an old picture of himself and his ex (not Lisa) in his office drawer; Katie, his partner, finds it too.
• He suspects Katie left the picture visible on purpose, leading to a conversation and eventually, Bert throws the photo away.
• Surprisingly, Katie gets mad—not because he kept the picture, but because he threw away a good photo of him.

"She said it was a good picture of you. And I said, well, regardless, I was with not Lisa. And I threw it away."
— Bert [03:30]

2. Is Image or Memory More Important?

[03:49]

• Katie’s philosophy: If you look good in a photo, keep it—regardless of who else is in it.
• Bert is puzzled: What's the point of keeping couple photos with an ex?

"Her feeling is, if it's a good picture of you, there is no reason to throw it away."
— Bert [03:49]

3. The Dinner Table Poll: Different Couples, Different Attitudes

[04:50]

• Crashing a birthday dinner, Bert and Katie poll friends. One couple reveals they are mid-debate on the same issue.
• One partner is fine keeping old photos; the other feels it signals holding onto past relationships.

4. Sentiment & The Past

[05:49]; [07:02]

• Jen shares she keeps old photos mixed in boxes—no "shrine," just memories from all parts of life.
• Bert sees the potential for discomfort: context and body language in photos (kissing, hugging) can hit a nerve.

"The underlying idea is that you're holding onto something or there's meaning behind them and why can't you throw them away?"
— Bert [06:29]

5. Placement Matters: Out in the Open vs. Tucked Away

[07:10]

• Hosts agree there’s a big difference between a photo in a box and one displayed.
• Nostalgia is seen as healthy if kept in its proper "season" of life.

"Had that picture of you and your ex been on your desk? Big issue. The fact that it was thrown haphazardly in some drawer, no issue."
— Radio Host [07:10]

6. Personal Anecdotes: Exclusion Zones & Relationship Tensions

[08:12]

• Jessica shares banning her partner from talking about past boyfriends when visiting familiar places, exposing how old relationships can impact new ones.

7. Listener Call-In: Where’s My Photo?

[09:09]

• A listener tells the story of her girlfriend still keeping pictures of an ex in her wallet, but none of their current relationship, sparking an on-air intervention and advice.

"No photo of you in the wallet. But they're photos of her and the ex."
— Burt [11:30]

8. Collective Reflection: What Do We Really Keep?

[10:00]

• Listeners and hosts reflect: old relationships are part of personal history, shaping who we are.
• Hosts agree: intimacy in photos (kissing, in bed) crosses a line.

"If you're macking down with someone in a picture, that picture should be... I don't ever want to see those pictures. Just toss them."
— Bert [10:26]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert on sentimental value:
  "The reason she put the picture out was because she's mad, but she's doing it just to mess with me because she saw it and she's, oh, here." [03:49]
• Jen on perspective:
  "To me, it's just like looking at a picture of your past because there's somebody else in there that you had a good time with. I have no emotional attachment, no romantic attachment to that person anymore." [05:49]
• Radio Host on placement:
  "As long as it's not like a dedicated, like, oh, this is my shrine box to my ex." [07:31]
• Caller’s relational red flag:
  "I'm surprised you're with her a year." — Burt [11:54]
  "No, I wouldn't do that. I love it more than a photo's not gonna tear us apart or anything like that, but, you know, it’s just kind of... it's just kind of crappy." — Caller [12:05]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:38] – Bert’s office drawer story kicks off the debate.
• [03:49] – Katie’s stance: good photo, keep it!
• [04:50] – Dinner table poll; discovering the argument is universal.
• [05:49] – Jen’s explanation of how old photos fit into her life.
• [07:10] – The group discusses photos hidden vs. on display.
• [08:12] – Jessica recounts rules and boundaries from her own relationship.
• [09:09] – Listener call: girlfriend’s ex’s photos still in her wallet.
• [10:26] – Where The Bert Show draws the line: bedroom photos, intimate snaps—toss them!

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Summary: Relationship Snapshots or Red Flags?

The cast and listeners of The Bert Show explore the blurry lines between sentimentality and respect in relationships, ultimately landing on the idea that context and placement matter most. While some see keeping photos as normal—just memories from their own past—others view it as a potential sore spot or boundary crossing, particularly if the photos are intimate or kept in prominent places.

If it’s a memento from your life, keep it tucked away. If it’s public, personal, or intimate—think twice. And if your current love can’t find a photo of themselves on your phone or wallet, it may be time for a conversation!

Transcript

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[Burt]

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[Melissa]

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[Burt]

The Bird show so there's been a debate in I guess my house between me and Katie. It's probably yeah been about a week regarding pictures with exes. Okay so Wednesday night I came into the studio because I record Twist show them on on Wednesday it's on Sunday nights here on Cuban Hub but we pre tape it. So I was here at the station on Wednesday night. Katie came with me that night. We went in my office and she sat at my computer while I was getting stuff ready and I had opened the drawer to my cabinet to get my headphones out and get stuff I needed and I noticed there were pictures there of me and Katie that I had just thrown in there. And so maybe I had picked those up or something regarding the pictures, which I think prompted her later on to look at those pictures when I left the office. Okay, so that's why she was in the desk drawer. Well, okay, fine. So to record, twist, go home, no big deal. Come in Thursday morning for work, open that same drawer to get stuff out. And there was a picture that was kind of sticking out that I had not seen the night before. And when I pulled it out, it was a picture of me and not Lisa, which was my last girlfriend. And it was a picture that was like four years old. But I. When we broke up, I must have taken it down, thrown it in the drawer, and never thought anything else about it. But I did notice that it was stuck out, which means that Katie saw it, and Katie purposely put it there for me to see the next morning. So I thought, well, I. You know, what is the right thing to do here? Well, obviously, the right thing to do is to toss the picture. So I threw the picture away. And then when I saw her for lunch on Thursday, I said, I think I have an apology for you, because I had no idea. I assumed that you saw that picture. And then I saw a grin on her face, and I said, and I apologize. I had no idea that picture was in there. I wasn't keeping. Keeping it for any. Any reason, blah, blah. And so she said, what'd you do with it? And I said, I threw it away. And then she got mad at me for throwing the picture away. And I said, well, why are you mad at me?

[Jessica]

You didn't have to throw it away. I already poked the eyes out and black tattooing.

[Burt]

Good job on those devil horses. She said. She said it was a good picture of you. And I said, well, regardless, I was with not Lisa. And I threw it away. So we had the debate on pictures with exes because her feeling is, surprisingly, she was messing with me about it being in the drawer. But her feeling is, if it's a good picture of you, there is no reason to throw it away.

[Jen]

So it has nothing, nothing to do with it having any kind of sentimental value. If it's good, if you look good in it, keep the picture.

[Burt]

Well, first of all, I have not expressed yet on the air how vain my girlfriend is. And so if she sees a good picture of herself, she is not. She is not throwing that thing away. She doesn't care if Saddam Hussein is in that picture. If it's a good picture of her, she is white knuckling. That thing. And so what my feeling is that I was the purpose in keeping it. Like, we didn't really get into a fight about it. It was just a debate on, well, I don't understand the purpose of keeping it. Like, I have kept pictures after, like after a breakup, you throw. I've thrown pictures in a box and I haven't thrown them away yet because it's a process to finally throw them away. But I've kept them and then I toss them. And so. And she's like, if it's a good picture, keep it. It doesn't matter. She's got all pictures if it was good of her. She's got pictures of her exes and photo albums. So we went back and I was just surprised by her reaction because I really thought that the reason she put the picture out was because she's mad, but she's doing it just to mess with me because she saw it and she's, oh, here. Yeah.

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And.

[Burt]

But then she got mad. She literally got mad at me for throwing away. So. So then we were at dinner Saturday night with all of her friends and it was. All of her friends had a birthday dinner. We were all coupled and all this stuff. So we brought up the. We just wanted to take a poll of the, of the table. And we were doing it in fun. Like, you know, she's like, oh, let's take a poll on pictures. Let's ask everybody else about their feeling about pictures. And then we realized that there was one couple in the group that they weren't like lighthearted about it. When we went around the table and ends up, they had the same argument. And my view again is, why keep the pictures? And if she has them, I don't look at them. Like, if I know there's a photo album that has a picture for an ex, I just won't even look through it. And her friend felt the same way, but her friend's boyfriend did not. And they had, you know, obviously she had kept all the pictures of her and her ex boyfriends and this new boyfriend who is probably the guy that she's going to marry, is not very happy with and he can't understand why she won't take the pictures down.

[Jen]

See, I don't see a problem with it. I don't, I don't have the same philosophy you do on, like to me, looking like I still have a box somewhere in the house of pictures. I mean, it's not the ex girlfriend box. I think there are pictures from vacations from back in college. Probably fraternity pictures and their ex girlfriend pictures. They're all in the same box, you know? And to me, it's like. It's just like looking at a picture of your past because there's somebody else in there that you had a good time with. I have no emotional attachment, no romantic attachment to that person anymore. But the fact that I had a life before Stacy came along, that doesn't go away because Stacy's there. So I've kept them all.

[Burt]

I think it, you know, I don't know. I think that the. The underlying idea is that you're holding onto something or there's meaning behind them and why can't you throw them away? I think is the argument for some people. Because, like, some of those pictures for you, if it's your picture with an ex, it's fine. Because, like, well, I don't. You know, we broke up. It's no big deal. But the body language, somebody sitting on somebody's lap, somebody kissing somebody's cheek, somebody with their arm around them, the vacation that you took that now you. You can't afford to take or you haven't taken yet or. I mean, it's just all these.

[Radio Host]

The.

[Burt]

The conversation that it, you know, brings up. And that's why I don't even. That's why I don't even look at them. I haven't told her to throw them away, but I haven't looked at them because I think.

[Radio Host]

I think it has to do with placement. Like, had that picture of you and your ex been on your desk? Big issue. The fact that it was thrown haphazardly in some drawer, no issue. Like, if you have pictures of exes up on your bulletin board or in picture frames in your room. Problem if they are tucked away in some photo album up on the shelf to look at.

[Burt]

I don't know.

[Radio Host]

When you're in your 50s and it's a rainy day and you want to look back on your youth or whatever, then that's a different story. Like, to me, like Bird said, it's about that time of your life when you were single or you were dating other people or whatever. Like, as long as it's not like a dedicated, like, oh, this is my shrine, my shrine box to my ex, or this is my shrine photo album to my ex.

[Burt]

Love.

[Radio Host]

Then I think it's okay as long as it's kind of sprinkled in with the time of your life. Because I know I have early college pictures with boyfriends or guys I was dating or whatever, and it's in there with my, you know, my pledge sisters. I was pledging my sorority, and, like, all those other things kind of all mixed in together. Has nothing to do with that guy. It has to do with that time of your life.

[Jessica]

You know, when I was. When we lived in Arizona, not only did I not like Jessica to have pictures, but I banned her from talking about ex boyfriends because I was new to Arizona, and she grew up there. So every time we'd go somewhere she had already been, usually with an ex boyfriend.

[Jen]

So you thought she had the memories of some other guy.

[Jessica]

And I'm like, can we go? Like, it was a huge fight once, I think, at the Hoover Dam.

[Caller]

Mm.

[Jessica]

And I was like, can we go to one damn place and not have you talking about, oh, my God, I was here.

[Melissa]

When I was in.

[Jessica]

The guy I went to prom with.

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And I were here.

[Radio Host]

We kissed. Right?

[Jessica]

Now he stood in the van, and I didn't.

[Radio Host]

Now he kissed.

[Burt]

I don't want to know everything.

[Jen]

The last time I was here was with a guy that was so much better looking than you.

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[Jen]

Such a good time.

[Burt]

I'm not.

[Jessica]

Can we just. You know what? In your head. Okay. Out loud. I will push you over the.

[Jen]

Hey, Jimmy. What's going on? You're on The Burt Show. Q101 first.

[Caller]

Let me say, guys. You guys rock.

[Burt]

Thank you.

[Caller]

Been listening to you since I moved to Atlanta. You guys are awesome.

[Jen]

Thank you, sir.

[Burt]

Thank you.

[Caller]

I originally, I agreed with Melissa, you know, toss them out, get rid of them. There's no point. But since then, I've been married for two years, and my wife is really big into scrapbooking and saving pictures. Not necessarily saving unnecessary pictures, but the good ones, like Melissa was saying also earlier, save them. Well, I think I'm starting to change my view on that, because why should you throw those pictures of you and those memories away? As we get older, we all know that. Wow, our memory really starts to go. So hold on. To hold onto them so you can at least remember what made you the person that you are today.

[Jen]

I agree.

[Melissa]

I agree.

[Jen]

Because each one of those relationships that you're in with somebody that you take a picture of was crappy enough for you to get out of that eventually got you to where you are, to where you're the kind of person that could end up, you know, settling down. You know? So I look back at those pictures as though those were great times in my life, and I was allowed to have those before Stacey came along.

[Burt]

Well, maybe the compromise is like Jen said. I mean, placement, of course, Neither one of us have pictures of exes up anywhere.

[Melissa]

But.

[Burt]

But I do think that if you're macking down with someone in a picture, that picture should be. I don't ever want to see those pictures. You know, just toss them. There's no reason for you to. Oh, look, that was when we had our best kiss ever. And look at that. We're in bed together. And look, I know that, you know, the sheets are pulled up, but we're naked. You can tell that that's a wonderful picture we took. We extended the arm out and took a picture of ourselves because we just had great sex. Those pictures should be thrown away. I mean, come on.

[Jen]

Hey, Christy. Good morning. You're on Q100. Hi.

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That's.

[Burt]

Good morning. How are y'? All?

[Melissa]

Good.

[Jen]

How are you?

[Caller]

I'm doing good. It's too early, but I'm doing good. I just want to say I agree with Melissa on the photo thing. You know, if it's. If it's something in your past, you know, put it in your past maybe, you know, you don't have to throw them out, but don't poke them around in your wallet. My girlfriend has two pictures, at least that I know of, in her wallet.

[Burt]

Of her.

[Caller]

Exactly. They have been broken up for a few years.

[Burt]

Is that because they're best friends now still?

[Caller]

Supposedly. But this person is not very good.

[Burt]

Les my girlfriend. Lesbians. Exes are not your best.

[Caller]

Oh, my gosh. So much drama. But, yeah. Not one photo of me anywhere.

[Jen]

No photo of you in the wallet. But they're photos of her and the ex.

[Burt]

Slash.

[Caller]

No, I'm not. She has not one photo of me.

[Jessica]

That's a problem.

[Burt]

Yeah. How long have y' all been dating?

[Caller]

Over a year.

[Jen]

Oh, that's a big problem.

[Burt]

No, that's.

[Caller]

Thank you. You know, she's got photos in her drawer. You know, just everywhere. They're not out, you know, like in my face or whatever, but they're put away. But the two in her wallet kill me.

[Jen]

Oh, yeah, they do.

[Burt]

I'm surprised you're with her a year.

[Radio Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

How are you okay with that?

[Caller]

I have to be pretty much.

[Jen]

No, you don't.

[Jessica]

Can't you break up?

[Caller]

No, no, I wouldn't do that. You know, I love it more than a photo's not gonna tear us apart or anything like that, but, you know, it's just kind of. It's just kind of crappy. Like this weekend we were out, you know, doing stuff, and I pretty much had to break her arm to get her to take A photo with me.

[Jessica]

Do you. Do you love her as much as she loves her ex?

[Caller]

I don't. I think I love her more than she loves her ex, but she just doesn't realize that. Or something.

[Burt]

She's laughing about it now, but they're about to have a fight. They're gonna have a fight. I'm sure she is, because I know.

[Caller]

She'S got a radio once.

[Jen]

All right, so you and the best friend are in car accidents at the same time, and you both end up at the hospital on the same floor. Does your girlfriend go to see you first or does she go to see her best friend?

[Caller]

She's gonna kill me, but I think she would go see probably her best friend first, depending on who was closest to the parking deck.

[Jen]

No, no, no, no.

[Radio Host]

That is wrong.

[Jen]

That's so wrong.

[Caller]

Honestly. Honestly, it would be a toss up, I think.

[Radio Host]

A toss up?

[Burt]

It shouldn't even be a toss up.

[Jen]

You can't justify it by saying it would be a toss up.

[Burt]

This is a whole different conversation. But I. You know what? I think my side gig is gonna be hosting seminars for lesbians to teach them, number one, a sports bra is not a bikini top. And number two, just because when you break up your ex girlfriend does not equate to your best friend. This.

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[Burt]

I have been. Lesbians have argued with me about not being in touch with my exes because they think that it is. Because, I mean, you. You said something special together, and you should honor that because your friends, you can never really let that go. Yeah, you can. And I would not be with this if Katie had her exes in her.

[Jen]

Wallet and no pictures of you.

[Caller]

It would be such a big deal to me if there was, like, you know, something in there, but nothing.

[Jen]

And then if I asked you the same question about the hospital thing, if your first answer was, gee, I don't know, it's a toss up.

[Burt]

Oh, hell no. That's a statement. No, no, no.

[Radio Host]

But anyway, you have to think about it, like, in the way, if you were giving a friend advice, like the woman that just called us, like, if a friend of hers came to her and told her the exact same story, what advice would she give her friend?

[Jen]

She'd say, break up with that girl.

[Radio Host]

Then give yourself that same advice.

[Burt]

It's different, but it's different because I love her. No, no.

[Jen]

Whatever.

[Radio Host]

Yeah, disrespect.

[Jen]

Totally. The fruit show.

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[Melissa]

Whoa.

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So is Saldana.

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[Burt]

Oh I got it.

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[Melissa]

Hey where are you going?

[Burt]

To T Mobile.

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