The Bert Show – "Vault: Father Crunk Is Back!"

Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)
Guest: Father Bailey ("Father Crunk"), Holy Spirit Catholic Church
Date: November 10, 2025

Episode Overview

In this lively and heartfelt episode, The Bert Show welcomes back Father Bailey, affectionately known as "Father Crunk"—a real Catholic priest with an unmistakable sense of humor and wisdom. Father Bailey artfully blends pop culture (this time involving Carmen Electra’s relationship drama) with spiritual guidance and practical advice about love, self-respect, and taking time to heal between relationships. The segment balances comedic banter, insightful analogies, and motivational messages for Atlanta listeners and anyone navigating the complexities of modern relationships.

Key Discussion Points

1. Father Bailey’s Return & Signature Style (01:51–02:58)

• Light-hearted banter about Father Bailey’s receding hairline and his relatable, down-to-earth persona.
  • "[I realized] I'm going bald... I got a bald spot at the top of this. So that's why I cut the fro off, man. You know, a fro don't look good with a little bald spot at the top, you know what I'm saying?" —Father Bailey (02:10)
• Self-deprecating humor sets the welcoming, real tone for the segment.

2. Pop Culture Meets Spiritual Lessons: Carmen Electra’s Breakup (03:14–05:36)

• Carmen Electra’s recent breakup with Dave Navarro and reported quick rebound with Jamie Foxx become the starting point.
• Father Bailey reads headlines and introduces his message: using celebrity relationship drama as a lens for deeper reflection.
  • "You can embrace it and apply it to some stuff that's going on in the Bible." —Show Host (03:14)

3. Plastic Surgery as a Relationship Analogy (03:36–05:36)

• Father Bailey quotes Carmen Electra on cosmetic surgery regrets and draws a parallel between quick fixes in looks and quick fixes in love.
  • "You can't treat folks and their hearts like a piece of plastic surgery." —Father Bailey (04:16)
• Critique of “trading up” in relationships: quick transitions don’t lead to true healing.

4. Bible as ‘God’s Love Story’ & The Value of Self-growth (05:37–08:15)

• The Bible compared to a collection of dramatic stories, but ultimately a testament to enduring love and self-reflection.
  • "We must understand that Carmen is all about... her piece of the pie is the ever so popular and talented Jamie Foxx. Now, we can only take the word of Hollywood with a grain of salt, but it's important to understand the actual factuals of what love is all about." —Father Bailey (05:51)
• Warning against “relationship hopping.”
  • "When you jump from one relationship to another with the quickness ... it ain't the best solution in the world to get your broken heart healed up." —Father Bailey (06:44)
• Father Bailey shares his own experiences with love and personal growth.
• Emphasis on the necessity of taking time between relationships, learning from the past, and finding contentment solo before moving forward:
  • "When I had that time alone and I could save that money, buy my Jordans, get myself a new watch, I found out that I was happy and cool with being with myself." —Father Bailey (07:10)

5. Analogies and Playful Wisdom (08:16–09:35)

• Humorous and accessible analogies make lessons stick:
  • Comparing people to laptops, cell phones, or a “hooptie” (an old car):
    • "You can't treat people like an old laptop, like an old cell phone, or even the old hooptie. For all y'all who don't know what a hooptie is, it's an old car that runs by testimony and prayer." —Father Bailey (08:38)
• Key Message: “Love yourself first, don't rush—take your time and do it right.”
• "Do you trade in your child if you are a parent for another child? Heck no. You accept the child for who they are and you want them to be the best they can..." —Father Bailey (09:05)

6. Cultural References and Father Bailey’s “Crunk Rap” (09:35–12:10)

• Integrates music references, including Jamie Foxx and Ludacris’s “Unpredictable,” and the SOS Band’s “Take Your Time (Do It Right).”
  • Father Bailey shifts into a playful, preacher-meets-rapper mode, weaving motivational lyrics with spiritual encouragement:
    • "This the Father Crunk express. Never give y'all the less. Cause y'all know all the more. From the pulpit to the Q100 studio..." —Father Bailey (10:38)
• He underscores that rushing into love isn’t the answer—lean on faith, self-love, and patience.
  • "If you loving somebody and you about to get out your relationship because of hurt or pain, don't jump to the next person right away. Understand? You gotta take your time and do it right..." —Father Bailey (11:35)

7. Shout-outs & Closing Encouragement (12:11–13:00)

• Father Bailey gives thanks and shoutouts to his congregation, friends, and the Atlanta community.
  • "Don't treat people around you like a piece of plastic surgery. Understand that love is good. Hang in there, persevere and know that you can learn from all the junk that's going on in Hollywood." —Father Bailey (12:49)
• Wraps up reminding listeners of the importance of love and perseverance, infusing gratitude and humor into his farewell.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You can’t treat folks and their hearts like a piece of plastic surgery." —Father Bailey (04:16)
• "When you jump from one relationship to another with the quickness, ... it ain't the best solution in the world to get your broken heart healed up." —Father Bailey (06:44)
• "You gotta give yourself time and be cool with the person that you are." —Father Bailey (09:11)
• "People are not like a new boob job. People have feelings that have authentic needs. That is what Carmen Electra should learn about life with her fine self." —Father Bailey (09:21)
• "Baby, you can do it. Take your time and do it right." —Father Bailey, quoting The SOS Band (07:56)
• "God can get rid of that drama tonight that you're feeling right now because you ain't loving right. ... The Bert Show will make you wake up in the morning and take you to another world." —Father Bailey, during the "Crunk Rap" (10:59)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:51] – Father Bailey's segment begins: light banter and baldness joke
• [03:14] – Introduction to blending celebrity news and scriptural insight
• [03:36–05:36] – Carmen Electra’s relationship as the “teachable moment” and plastic surgery analogy
• [05:37–08:15] – Bible as love story, wisdom on love and healing, Father Bailey’s personal take
• [08:16–09:35] – Memorable analogies (laptops, hoopties, children) and core self-love message
• [09:35–12:10] – Father Bailey’s “Unpredictable”/SOS Band musical riff and “Father Crunk Express” rap
• [12:11–13:00] – Shout-outs and feel-good closing encouragement

Final Takeaways

Father Bailey ("Father Crunk") delivers a funny, earnest, and impactful lesson:
Don’t treat people like disposable upgrades, plastic surgery, or quick-fixes for heartbreak. True love is rooted in patience, self-acceptance, and taking the time to heal and grow before moving on to a new relationship. Mixing scripture, pop culture, and his unique style, Father Bailey encourages listeners to love themselves first, have faith, and “do it right”—because love, like life, is both unpredictable and worth doing well.