Vault: Father Crunk Is Back!

Summary

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The Bert Show – "Vault: Father Crunk Is Back!"

Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)
Guest: Father Bailey ("Father Crunk"), Holy Spirit Catholic Church
Date: November 10, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively and heartfelt episode, The Bert Show welcomes back Father Bailey, affectionately known as "Father Crunk"—a real Catholic priest with an unmistakable sense of humor and wisdom. Father Bailey artfully blends pop culture (this time involving Carmen Electra’s relationship drama) with spiritual guidance and practical advice about love, self-respect, and taking time to heal between relationships. The segment balances comedic banter, insightful analogies, and motivational messages for Atlanta listeners and anyone navigating the complexities of modern relationships.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Father Bailey’s Return & Signature Style (01:51–02:58)

• Light-hearted banter about Father Bailey’s receding hairline and his relatable, down-to-earth persona.
  • "[I realized] I'm going bald... I got a bald spot at the top of this. So that's why I cut the fro off, man. You know, a fro don't look good with a little bald spot at the top, you know what I'm saying?" —Father Bailey (02:10)
• Self-deprecating humor sets the welcoming, real tone for the segment.

2. Pop Culture Meets Spiritual Lessons: Carmen Electra’s Breakup (03:14–05:36)

• Carmen Electra’s recent breakup with Dave Navarro and reported quick rebound with Jamie Foxx become the starting point.
• Father Bailey reads headlines and introduces his message: using celebrity relationship drama as a lens for deeper reflection.
  • "You can embrace it and apply it to some stuff that's going on in the Bible." —Show Host (03:14)

3. Plastic Surgery as a Relationship Analogy (03:36–05:36)

• Father Bailey quotes Carmen Electra on cosmetic surgery regrets and draws a parallel between quick fixes in looks and quick fixes in love.
  • "You can't treat folks and their hearts like a piece of plastic surgery." —Father Bailey (04:16)
• Critique of “trading up” in relationships: quick transitions don’t lead to true healing.

4. Bible as ‘God’s Love Story’ & The Value of Self-growth (05:37–08:15)

• The Bible compared to a collection of dramatic stories, but ultimately a testament to enduring love and self-reflection.
  • "We must understand that Carmen is all about... her piece of the pie is the ever so popular and talented Jamie Foxx. Now, we can only take the word of Hollywood with a grain of salt, but it's important to understand the actual factuals of what love is all about." —Father Bailey (05:51)
• Warning against “relationship hopping.”
  • "When you jump from one relationship to another with the quickness ... it ain't the best solution in the world to get your broken heart healed up." —Father Bailey (06:44)
• Father Bailey shares his own experiences with love and personal growth.
• Emphasis on the necessity of taking time between relationships, learning from the past, and finding contentment solo before moving forward:
  • "When I had that time alone and I could save that money, buy my Jordans, get myself a new watch, I found out that I was happy and cool with being with myself." —Father Bailey (07:10)

5. Analogies and Playful Wisdom (08:16–09:35)

• Humorous and accessible analogies make lessons stick:
  • Comparing people to laptops, cell phones, or a “hooptie” (an old car):
    • "You can't treat people like an old laptop, like an old cell phone, or even the old hooptie. For all y'all who don't know what a hooptie is, it's an old car that runs by testimony and prayer." —Father Bailey (08:38)
• Key Message: “Love yourself first, don't rush—take your time and do it right.”
• "Do you trade in your child if you are a parent for another child? Heck no. You accept the child for who they are and you want them to be the best they can..." —Father Bailey (09:05)

6. Cultural References and Father Bailey’s “Crunk Rap” (09:35–12:10)

• Integrates music references, including Jamie Foxx and Ludacris’s “Unpredictable,” and the SOS Band’s “Take Your Time (Do It Right).”
  • Father Bailey shifts into a playful, preacher-meets-rapper mode, weaving motivational lyrics with spiritual encouragement:
    • "This the Father Crunk express. Never give y'all the less. Cause y'all know all the more. From the pulpit to the Q100 studio..." —Father Bailey (10:38)
• He underscores that rushing into love isn’t the answer—lean on faith, self-love, and patience.
  • "If you loving somebody and you about to get out your relationship because of hurt or pain, don't jump to the next person right away. Understand? You gotta take your time and do it right..." —Father Bailey (11:35)

7. Shout-outs & Closing Encouragement (12:11–13:00)

• Father Bailey gives thanks and shoutouts to his congregation, friends, and the Atlanta community.
  • "Don't treat people around you like a piece of plastic surgery. Understand that love is good. Hang in there, persevere and know that you can learn from all the junk that's going on in Hollywood." —Father Bailey (12:49)
• Wraps up reminding listeners of the importance of love and perseverance, infusing gratitude and humor into his farewell.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You can’t treat folks and their hearts like a piece of plastic surgery." —Father Bailey (04:16)
• "When you jump from one relationship to another with the quickness, ... it ain't the best solution in the world to get your broken heart healed up." —Father Bailey (06:44)
• "You gotta give yourself time and be cool with the person that you are." —Father Bailey (09:11)
• "People are not like a new boob job. People have feelings that have authentic needs. That is what Carmen Electra should learn about life with her fine self." —Father Bailey (09:21)
• "Baby, you can do it. Take your time and do it right." —Father Bailey, quoting The SOS Band (07:56)
• "God can get rid of that drama tonight that you're feeling right now because you ain't loving right. ... The Bert Show will make you wake up in the morning and take you to another world." —Father Bailey, during the "Crunk Rap" (10:59)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:51] – Father Bailey's segment begins: light banter and baldness joke
• [03:14] – Introduction to blending celebrity news and scriptural insight
• [03:36–05:36] – Carmen Electra’s relationship as the “teachable moment” and plastic surgery analogy
• [05:37–08:15] – Bible as love story, wisdom on love and healing, Father Bailey’s personal take
• [08:16–09:35] – Memorable analogies (laptops, hoopties, children) and core self-love message
• [09:35–12:10] – Father Bailey’s “Unpredictable”/SOS Band musical riff and “Father Crunk Express” rap
• [12:11–13:00] – Shout-outs and feel-good closing encouragement

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Final Takeaways

Father Bailey ("Father Crunk") delivers a funny, earnest, and impactful lesson:
Don’t treat people like disposable upgrades, plastic surgery, or quick-fixes for heartbreak. True love is rooted in patience, self-acceptance, and taking the time to heal and grow before moving on to a new relationship. Mixing scripture, pop culture, and his unique style, Father Bailey encourages listeners to love themselves first, have faith, and “do it right”—because love, like life, is both unpredictable and worth doing well.

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Transcript

[A]

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[A]

Hey, the bird show.

[C]

We call him Father Crunk. It is Father Bailey from Holy Spirit Catholic church. Yeah, he's a real priest. He's got the whole collar and the do rag to prove it.

[D]

Yes, indeed. Yes indeed.

[C]

How are you today, sir?

[D]

I'm doing good, man, but you know, I realized last week.

[B]

What's that?

[D]

I'm going bald.

[B]

Are you?

[D]

Yeah, I got a bald spot at the top of this. So that's why I cut the fro off, man. You know, a fro don't look good with a little bald spot at the top, you know what I'm saying? So had to turn it down, man. Had to bring it back to the basics. That's very 1970s. What's that afro with the bald spots? Yeah, man, it doesn't work, man. It's like, you know, a bad episode of good times. Only if you come in like on roller skates or something, you know, looking all 1976.

[C]

Where did you spot it? Because that's, that's a place that you will never, ever.

[D]

Well, no, man, check it out. You know, like every time you celebrate Mass, after you put the Eucharist back on the altar. Eugenia Flick. Which is a profound, you know, after reverence. And one of the ladies at the church said, oh, Father Bailey, I thought you got a ball spot. I'm like, oh, man, somebody pointed it out to you. Yeah, man, I thought she was my peoples too, bro.

[B]

Sorry.

[D]

I mean, you know, you know, I mean, Karen Browning, man, you know, you did it now, man. You did it, you did it. But now I love her.

[C]

Anyway, I think, you know, as reading in the Bible, you just don't know who you can trust.

[D]

Exactly, man. You know, I got a bald spot, man. Gotta deal with it, man. So, you know, stepping my game a little bit. And now, now a reading from the book of Keep youp Mouth Shut if I Bald. Exactly, exactly.

[C]

Father Bailey joins us every week and he takes a look at Hollywood and he says, look, there's a lot of dysfunction going on in California, but you don't have to laugh at it. You can embrace it and apply it to some stuff that's going on in the Bible. So what do you have today?

[D]

Well, today we're gonna talk about Carmen Electra. And the title that you get off the website is Carmen Electra is Moving on and Moving On Up. And it says Carmen Electra just announced her separation from Dave Navarro last week. And she's not wasting any time. She's already been spotted with Jamie Foxx leaving together from the Hollywood hotspot element for Carmen, it could be considered trading up. Jamie is one of the highest paid stars in town and he and Colin Farrell each pulling in $20 million for Miami Vice. So I want to go ahead and title the talk this morning. Baby, you can do it. Take your time and do it right now. Of course, Carmen lecture does not have a quote about this whole breakup, but there's something I found from the World Entertainment News Network. And I want to try to use this as the launching point for my whole talk today. She said, and I quote, and believe me, I quote, I had nice breasts to begin with. They were not the biggest boobs, but I just think it was really trendy to have implants at a certain time. So I decided to do it. They are Moments where I think it's kind of silly and I wish that it would not have just. I wish that I would have stayed natural. Now, I would say you can't treat folks and their hearts like a piece of plastic surgery. Now, if you look at the facts, on November 23, 2003, she married Dave Navarro, the formerly guitarist of the rock band Janus Addiction. The couple documented courtship and marriage on MTV 2004, called to death do us part. I seem to think that if you do anything on mtv, man, the magic will last, bro.

[C]

Any kind of reality TV show, but especially mtv, I think, right?

[D]

Yeah, man. I don't want nobody do a reality show about the priesthood, man. You know, Leave me alone.

[C]

It's the devil's channel.

[D]

There you go, man. You know, who are you going to split up with? They do a reality TV show on you? I mean, you're just. Yeah, man, I ain't going nowhere, man. I love doing what I'm doing. Yeah, well, whatever. Yes, Atlanta, once again, it's on this popping. It's Father Crunk, and you know, it ain't no stopping. This morning we're going to talk about topic that is always an issue in Hollywood and an issue that is always present in our own lives. That is the blessing and the topic of love. I am sure and certain that we all have been or we all are in love with someone. However, we focus on the story of love between Carmen Electra, the so, so fine and so, so tight woman. And like the Jefferson's word on the street is that her publicized breakup with the lead guitarist, Dave Navarro, of the rock band Jane Addiction. Now Carmen is wasting no time in moving on up. And as they said in the 1970s television show like George and Wheezy, where we're moving on up to the east side, to a deluxe apartment in the sky. Yes, we're moving on up. And you know what, my friends? We must understand that Carmen is all about, according to the media, that her piece of the pie is the ever so popular and talented Jamie Foxx. Now, we can only take the word of Hollywood with a grain of salt, but it's important to understand the actual factuals of what love is all about. Now look inside the Bible and you'll notice that it is a book that is full of stories. Stories of drama, mess, and the lack of faith that many people have in their own lives. However, what makes the Bible so cool and relevant to the lives of so many people is the reality of God's great love for us from the beginning. When God reveals His love and compassion to all of us in the books of the Bible, from the Prophets to the Psalms to the Gospels and even the early letters of the Church, we remember, celebrate and believe in the great love that God has for all of us. So one could conclude that the Bible is God's great love story for all of us. However, there's something going on with Carmen's love story in her own book. Now my personal opinion and if the so called reports of Carmen are upgrading from Dave Navarro to Jamie Foxx is actually true, then what she is doing is not the best thing in the world. I'm not being a hater in any way, but I believe that we should know that when you jump from one relationship to another with the quickness one, like somebody may say they changed their draws, it ain't the best solution in the world to get your broken heart healed up. Now, I can only say this because like so many of you, I've been in love. I have loved so many special women who were a blessing to me in my life. But when I went from one lady to the other with the quickness, I found out that I was never ever really happy. Now when I had that time alone and I could save that money, buy my Jordans, get myself a new watch, I found out that I was happy and cool with being with myself. Being happy and taking time to learn from what happened in the past relationship and trying to get the best and be the best that we can for the other person in the new relationship is the best route to go. Like the SOS band said back in the day, baby, you can do it. Take your time and do it right. You can do it, baby. Do it when? Do it tonight. For all of y' all who think that it's the best way to deal with your broken heart by upgrading real quick and you and making sure your mind and soul is okay. Remember that true love. Remember true love that you are looking for is really the joy and the love that you have within yourself. You can't treat people like an old laptop, like an old cell phone, or even the old hooptie. For all y' all who don't know what a hooptie is, it's an old car that runs by testimony and prayer. You have to make certain that you love and truly appreciate who you are and what you have to offer. The cool thing about love is that love is always there. But in many ways and in many times, we are the ones who mess love up. Have you heard the Birch show lately? You gotta give yourself Time and be cool with the person that you are. Do you trade in your child if you are a parent for another child? Heck no. You accept the child for who they are and you want them to be the best they can by learning from the life lessons that you have learned in your own life. People are not like a new boob job. People have feelings that have authentic needs. That is what Carmen Electra should learn about life with her fine self. If you all listen to a little R B every now and then, you'll know that Jamie Foxx and Ludacris had a hit out a couple of months called Unpredictable.

[C]

Here we go.

[D]

Get ready, man. ATL get comfortable. We about do something you never done before. Yeah, baby, not the usual this morning we're getting unpredictable. So try to roll with me, baby. Baby, I'm gonna make you feel like you never fail, girl. All about your neck. I am unpredictable. Carmen, I know you used to be a scary movie. I'm gonna love who I am. So make that movie. Do you get it? Get it? Do you got it? Got it, baby. Good. Good girl. I knew you would. See what you need right now. Come in, Electra. It's a pound to be creative. And what I mean what I mean what I mean, what I mean. Oh, yeah. ATL get comfortable. We about to do something you never done before. Yeah, baby, not the usual this morning we getting unpredictable. So try to roll with me, baby. Baby, I'm gonna make you feel like you never fail. Make you get it all together. Oh, I can't say that. Make it unpredictable. Okay, y' all finna do the Luda flow. All aboard. This the Father Crunk express. Never give y' all the less. Cause y' all know all the more. From the pulpit to the Q100 studio. From the next time to the rhyme spot is father. Ha ha ha. Let put a little excitement into your lifestyle. You gotta know the times to the essence of talking right now. God can get get rid of that drama tonight that you're feeling right now. Because you ain't loving right. Some people say that love is overrated. But they gotta keep doing it right, baby. Cause it's understated to keep it interesting. Baby, just shake the hurt off. God will be your Tylenol. Baby, I'm able to be love until you doze off. The birth show will make you wake up in the morning and take you to another world. You wake up in the morning feeling like another girl. So you know what, atl? The one thing you have to realize is, is that love is a blessing. And although Father Bailey can't rap, and although Father Bailey can't sing, you got to understand that in the way y' all accept me and love me, I accept and love y' all in the same way. If you loving somebody and you about to get out your relationship because of hurt or pain, don't jump to the next person right away. Understand? You gotta take your time and do it right because you can do it, baby, and do it when you can do it tonight. So, Atlanta, Georgia, it's your boy, Father Bailey checking out. I gotta give a shout out to some people from church because if I don't do that, they'll go ahead and kick my butt. Next Sunday. I want to give a shout out to captain Ed Kavikis. The man taught me how to shoot. To officer Joe Vilafane, who is newly engaged to his honey over there in San Antonio, Texas, to all the Atlanta seminarians who will be on retreat this week and also to all the folks coming into Atlanta for the inter regional African American Catholic Conference, we want to go ahead and give a shout out to all these folks and to everybody who make it happen in Atlanta, Atlanta, Georgia, Berkshire community. You all are wonderful. Don't treat people around you like a piece of plastic surgery. Understand that love is good. Hang in there, persevere and know that you can learn from all the junk that's going on in Hollywood. It's your boy, Father Bailey checking out right now. Getting ready to celebrate mass this evening. Gotta go to court and handle some business, so I'll talk to y' all later. Bryan Nichols behavior behind the court. I'll holler at y' all later, players. Play on.

[C]

See ya, Father Bailey.

[E]

Hey.

[A]

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