Podcast Summary: The Bert Show (“Vault: Father Crunk Talks About Naomi Campbell”)

Date: November 7, 2025
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)
Guest of Honor: Father Ricardo Bailey (aka "Father Crunk")

Episode Overview

This episode features the ever-energetic Father Ricardo Bailey, known as "Father Crunk," delivering his trademark blend of humor, cultural commentary, and spiritual insight. Father Bailey dissects the public controversies of supermodel Naomi Campbell—particularly her notorious anger and history of altercations—and turns them into a wider lesson on bullying, humility, and standing your ground with a touch of southern and Catholic flavor. Lively caller interactions and candid stories about Catholic school upbringing round out a fun, memorable segment.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Rise of Father Bailey’s “Brand” (01:03–02:08)

• The Bert Show jokes about Father Bailey’s growing popularity: bobbleheads, T-shirts, and even “Father Crunk” merch are up for discussion.
• Bailey shares how young professionals at his church designed a T-shirt inspired by his previous segments:

  “All this Catholic dipping and dapping in. And it's happening. And it says, got crunk in the front, Got milk?”
  —Father Ricardo Bailey (01:32)

2. Naomi Campbell’s Infamous “Rap Sheet” (02:44–05:05)

• Father Bailey presents Naomi Campbell’s alleged history of violence—particularly towards assistants and staff:
  • Anger management in 1999 after a relationship breakup.
  • Assaulted her assistant in 2000 over a phone call (Toronto court case).
  • Multiple incidents: biting, headbutting, slaps, throwing phones and BlackBerrys, including rumors and headlines from 2004–2006.
• On Campbell’s “weapon” of choice:

  “She has a problem with cell phones, blackberries, and people who she thinks get on her nerves...I mean, you know, cell phones are so expensive, man. How can you throw it?”
  —Father Ricardo Bailey (02:44)

3. Drawing Biblical Parallels & Life Lessons (05:22–07:37)

• Father Bailey ties Naomi’s behavior to a Biblical narrative:

  • Compares Campbell’s malice to that of Herodias and Salome (the dance and beheading of John the Baptist).

• Father Bailey issues a challenge:

  “If I did not have the Lord in my life, and if I wasn't a priest, she would have only one time to try to hit me with a telephone...Ms. Campbell needs to be set on the right path and she needs to get her act together.”
  —Father Ricardo Bailey (06:30)

• Commentary on humility and the need to confront bullies:

  “What needs to happen in this case is a good old dose of humility and intimidation...We have all had a bully in our life. And the worst thing about a bully is that they are the personification of evil in that particular stage. But you can deal with bullies and still be loved by God.”
  —Father Ricardo Bailey (07:00–07:36)

4. Atlanta Realness: Southern Women vs. Bullies (07:37–09:40)

• Father Bailey humorously nominates strong southern women (Waffle House employees, “Big Momma,” etc.) as perfect foils for Campbell’s tantrums.

• Lays out his “catch and confront” plan if targeted by Campbell:

  “If these women are anything like my mother, they will say it would be her trial, and they will be her funeral...if Naomi Campbell threw a shoe, a cell phone, or even a BlackBerry at me. It would be her last time because I am from the south side...I would catch that phone, catch that BlackBerry, catch that shoe...hold it in the air...take the phone...in her face, hem her up against the wall and look at the holy terror on her face...If you do not want this phone, this BlackBerry, or this shoe to be a permanent part of your body, you better leave me alone now.”
  —Father Ricardo Bailey (08:30–08:50)

• Encouragement for listeners:

  “You don't have to be too buffed out. You just have to say, enough is enough and too much is too much.”
  —Father Ricardo Bailey (09:08)

5. “Deja Vu” Parody & Pop Culture Tie-Ins (09:41–10:23)

• Father Bailey remixes Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s “Deja Vu” as a playful message to Naomi, advising her to get help and warning would-be bullies.

  • “You can throw if you want to, but I'll catch it. And you gonna be through.”
  • “When that phone hits you, I'm gonna swear it's déjà vu.”

• Shout-out to Atlanta and a final summary:

  “So Atlanta, understand if you got a boss, a loved one, or somebody who loves to throw a shoe, a phone, or anything at you, hem’ em up against the wall...tell them, if you do not want this to be a permanent part of your body...you best to leave me alone.”
  —Father Ricardo Bailey (10:55)

6. Listener Calls and Community Vibe (11:20–13:49)

• Callers enthusiastically embrace Father Bailey’s message:
  • “Can I just say Amen?” (Angela, 11:24)
  • “I am dying in my car, laughing so hard. This guy is unbelievable...And I will take the job with Naomi Campbell. And I wish she would throw a phone at me.” (Davina, 13:26)
• Listeners ask where they can get “crunk” T-shirts; Father Bailey promises updates.

7. Catholic School Memories: Nuns and Discipline (11:50–13:24)

• Father Bailey and hosts swap stories about nuns instilling discipline, fear, and (sometimes) eventual priesthood.
  • “The one institution on the face of this earth that put fear in any Catholic child are nuns.”
  • Story of tiny Bailey being picked up “like Batman picked up the Joker” by Sister Regina (12:01).

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Time Stamps)

• "Dude was going to end up with his own, like, board game. His own bobblehead doll. His own ice show, you know." —Radio Host (Bert Show Host), (01:03)
• "All this Catholic dipping and dapping in. And it's happening. And it says, got crunk in the front, Got milk?" —Father Ricardo Bailey, (01:32)
• "She has a problem with cell phones, blackberries, and people who she thinks get on her nerves." —Father Ricardo Bailey, (02:44)
• "She needs a mentor, y'all. Oh, my God. Tuck and roll, tuck and roll." —Father Ricardo Bailey, (04:00)
• "If I did not have the Lord in my life, and if I wasn't a priest, she would have only one time to try to hit me with a telephone." —Father Ricardo Bailey, (06:30)
• "You can deal with bullies and still be loved by God." —Father Ricardo Bailey, (07:18)
• "Enough is enough and too much is too much." —Father Ricardo Bailey, (09:08)
• “When you move, I move. Just like that.” (referencing Ludacris) —Father Ricardo Bailey, (07:59)
• “I know that you are so ticked off. But I go on to get some help. You can throw if you want to, but I'll catch it. And you gonna be through." —Father Ricardo Bailey (singing), (09:46)
• “This your boy, Father Crunk, Father Bailey, coming at y’all live. And once again, Atlanta, thank you all for the opportunity...Players, play on. God bless you all. I'll holler at you later. Naomi, get some help, baby." —Father Ricardo Bailey, (10:55)
• "The one institution on the face of this earth that put fear in any Catholic child are nuns." —Father Ricardo Bailey, (11:50)
• “I am dying in my car, laughing so hard. This guy is unbelievable.” —Caller Davina, (13:28)

Key Timestamps

• 01:03 — Show introduces Father Bailey, “merch” talk
• 02:44 — Naomi Campbell’s violent incidents
• 05:22 — Father Bailey links to Bible and bullying
• 07:37 — Suggests southern women as assistants, deals with bullying
• 09:41 — Beyoncé “Deja Vu” remix, lesson for Naomi
• 11:20 — First lively caller (Angela): “Amen!”
• 11:50 — Bailey’s story: Catholic nuns, discipline
• 13:28 — Second caller (Davina): Praise for Father Bailey
• 13:57 — Father Bailey’s community event plugs

Tone & Style

• Energetic, humorous, and down-to-earth—Father Bailey seamlessly blends pop culture, biblical parable, and personal anecdote.
• Southern flavor and urban wit, with a little “preaching to the choir” and playful call-and-response with both hosts and listeners.
• Inclusive and candid—emphasizes standing up for yourself with grace and courage.

Takeaways

• Father Bailey is a born performer, as beloved for his candor and humor as for his spiritual guidance.
• Naomi Campbell’s tantrums serve as fodder for deeper reflection on bullying, boundaries, and humility.
• Listeners resonate with the lessons about confronting bullies, celebrating southern and Catholic cultural touchstones, and finding humor in life’s rough edges.
• The episode is a riotous reminder that, no matter how notorious the public figure, there’s always a teachable moment—and a punchline—waiting.

For more episodes or to join the community conversation, visit allthehitsq100.com or The Bert Show’s official links.

(End of Summary)