The Bert Show – Vault: Ghost Hunters – Part Two

Date: November 24, 2025
Host: Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)
Guest: Patrick Burns, ghost hunter and paranormal investigator

Episode Overview

This episode continues the Bert Show’s deep dive into ghost hunting with renowned investigator Patrick Burns. The conversation navigates the fascination with the paranormal, the intricacies of investigating haunted locations, personal experiences, and a breakdown of recent home investigations involving the show's cast. The tone remains curious, skeptical, and lightly humorous throughout, balancing skepticism with open-minded exploration.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Human Fascination with Ghosts and the Paranormal

• Patrick Burns: The intrigue surrounding ghost hunting stems from our curiosity about "the last great mystery of mankind"—what happens after death (01:26).
  • “It’s really…one of the last great mysteries of mankind. You know, what happens to us after this life?” — Patrick Burns [01:26]
• Burns emphasizes how seeking knowledge beyond traditional religious teachings inspires many to investigate paranormal phenomena. (01:38)

Physical Harm from Ghosts

• Listener Question: Can ghosts physically harm people?
• Patrick Burns: Physical harm by ghosts is extremely rare, if possible at all.
  • Shares a personal anecdote about mysterious scratches after investigating a local Atlanta cemetery—scratches that couldn’t be easily explained by logical causes.
  • Most reported “injuries” are indirect—people get startled, trip, and injure themselves, rather than being directly attacked. (02:11 - 04:02)
  • “Most instances where somebody is, quote, unquote, injured by a ghost…what usually happens is somebody turns around, they see grandmother standing there, and they freak out, they stumble, they might trip and fall down the stairs. So it’s more of a secondary reaction than it is the ghost pushed you down the stairs.” — Patrick Burns [03:40]

Skepticism and Scientific Method in Ghost Hunting

• Patrick Burns’ Approach: Focuses on ruling out logical explanations before considering paranormal causes. He approaches ghost hunting as a hobby—not for profit—which helps maintain objectivity. (04:03-04:30)
  • “You have to rule out the logical explanation. First off…maybe there’s a hot water pipe that needs to be tied down, and there goes your ghost. Your ghost is gone.” — Patrick Burns [04:30]
• Investigations are inconclusive when natural causes are ruled out, making unresolved mysteries the most interesting cases.

Dream Paranormal Locations & Investigations Abroad

• Burns hasn’t investigated outside the U.S. yet but lists dream locations: Tower of London, Rose Hall (Jamaica), Mayan ruins (Mexico), and even the Titanic.
  • “At some point, I’d love to put an audio recording device on the bow of the Titanic…see if, you know, can we actually record shipwrecks on the bottom of the ocean? Haunted. I’ve always wondered that.” — Patrick Burns [05:38]

Home Investigations with The Bert Show Cast

• Patrick Burns visited several show members’ homes with minimal equipment—primarily a digital voice recorder to capture Electronic Voice Phenomena (EVP). This device is commonly used for dictated memos but also captures unexplained voices not present during recording. (06:26)
  • Reference to the movie White Noise for mainstream exposure to EVP, though with “Hollywood exaggeration.” (06:39)

Results from the In-Home Investigations

• Bert’s House: No evidence found; Bert is “off the hook.” (07:50-08:11)
• Jen Hobby’s House:
  • An EVP was captured, though very faint. The location’s historical significance (site of Civil War battles/skirmishes) makes it a likely candidate for paranormal activity. (08:20-11:03)
  • The audio clip contains an indistinct sound that some think says “hi.”
    • “A lot of times, EVP is in the ear of the beholder.” — Patrick Burns [10:47]
  • The EVP is not clear, but it’s enough for Patrick to consider a follow-up.
• Melissa’s House: Long recording session produced interesting conversation and may have yielded subtle EVP, supporting the method of casual conversation during investigations. (11:21)

Methods and Philosophy in Paranormal Research

• Casual conversation often yields better EVP results than asking direct questions.
  • The team highlights the difference between “hearing what you want to hear” and actual capture of unexplained voices.
  • The psychological component of interpreting unclear sounds as meaningful is discussed lightly. (10:47)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "It’s really…one of the last great mysteries of mankind. You know, what happens to us after this life?" — Patrick Burns [01:26]
• “Most instances where somebody is, quote, unquote, injured by a ghost… what usually happens is somebody turns around, they see grandmother standing there, and they freak out, they stumble, they might trip and fall down the stairs. So it’s more of a secondary reaction than it is the ghost pushed you down the stairs.” — Patrick Burns [03:40]
• “You have to rule out the logical explanation. First off… maybe there’s a hot water pipe that needs to be tied down, and there goes your ghost. Your ghost is gone.” — Patrick Burns [04:30]
• “A lot of times, EVP is in the ear of the beholder.” — Patrick Burns [10:47]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:26] – Patrick on the mystery and appeal of ghost hunting.
• [02:11 – 04:02] – Discussion: Can ghosts do harm? Patrick’s personal experience with unexplained scratches.
• [04:03 – 04:30] – The importance of skepticism and logical elimination.
• [05:18 – 05:59] – Dream international investigations and ambitious ideas.
• [06:26 – 07:50] – Ghost hunting methodology and equipment in home visits.
• [07:50 – 08:11] – Results from Bert’s house: “unhaunted.”
• [08:20 – 10:47] – EVP found in Jen’s house. The debate about interpreting faint audio and the influence of suggestion.
• [11:01 – 11:21] – Historical significance and the link to possible paranormal phenomena in Atlanta homes.
• [11:21] – Melissa’s home: Best EVP sometimes during casual conversation.

Summary

This episode offers an engaging and light-hearted yet thoughtful exploration of ghost hunting, balancing skeptical inquiry with genuine fascination. The cast and Patrick Burns discuss personal experiences, techniques for investigation, and the psychological nuances of perceiving the paranormal. While no definitive proof is found, the show concludes with an appreciation for the mystery, the thrill of investigation, and the value of open but critical thinking when exploring "what comes after."