Vault: Has This Digital Crush Gone Too Far?

Summary

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The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Has This Digital Crush Gone Too Far?
Date: April 7, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into a lighthearted, but thought-provoking listener dilemma: When does a digital crush cross the line into stalker territory? The hosts take a call from Beth, who, after purchasing a used cell phone, discovers over 60 un-erased photos of a handsome stranger. Captivated by the man in the photos, she’s tempted to “engineer” a real-life meet-up—and enlists the Bert Show crew to help her figure out where the line is between creating your destiny and straight-up creeping.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Beth’s Dilemma: From Phone Purchase to Digital Crush

• [02:34] Beth recounts buying a used phone via a “friend of a friend of a friend.” When she turns it on, she finds around 60-70 photos of a “gorgeous guy” involved in various activities.
• She notes: “This is, like, potentially the most handsome man that I have ever seen in my whole life… I get to see this guy in all phases of his life.” (Beth Caller, 03:30)
• Beth feels she knows his hobbies, favored hangouts, and even his workplace just from these pics.
• Beth reflects: “It’s like someone just handed me this thing and said, here is information about this guy…” (03:59)

2. The “Stalker” Line and Digital Curiosity

• Hosts’ immediate reactions acknowledge the ethical gray area. “If you think you’re stalking, you probably are.” (Beth, 02:24)
• Beth wonders if showing up at his favorite bar is “stalking or just… creating my own destiny?” (Beth Caller, 05:37)
• The show debates whether acting on this information is destined romance or something less savory.

3. Is It Fate—or Creepy? The Destiny Conversation

• [06:05] Burt “wax[es] philosophical” about fate: “If she shows up where she thinks he’s going to be… and they hit it off, aren’t those signs of destiny?” (Burt, 06:18)
• The rest of the crew is more skeptical, with Beth groaning: “Oh, gosh.” (Beth, 06:09)

4. Does the Ex-Girlfriend Factor Change Things?

• [06:48] The group questions if the girl who sold the phone is the guy’s girlfriend; most agree that only someone in a relationship would have so many pictures of a guy.
• “Nobody has that many pictures of the same person on their phone unless they’re in a relationship with them.” (Friend 1, 07:23)

5. Listener Call-In: Just Ask!

• [07:44] Listener Lindsay suggests: “Don’t Sherlock Holmes this stuff anymore. Just ask the friend of a friend of a friend” (Lindsay, 07:44)—to which Beth’s not sure, as she barely knows the seller.

6. Hypotheticals, Humor, and Gender Stereotypes

• Playful banter ensues about mirror selfies and whether the guy might be gay, given the number of shirtless photos.
• “The old phone owner could be best friends with a gay guy is what I’m saying.” (Friend 1, 08:59)
• “Straight guys are not attractive, especially with their shirts on.” (Friend 2 [joking], 09:17)

7. Next Steps—Is This a Romcom or Just Weird?

• Burt summarizes the options:
  a. Trace the email chain and learn more.
  b. Try and bump into him at his favorite bar (“see if you meet him spontaneously, quote unquote”).
  c. Just leave it alone.
• “If you go, then you create the situation… I don’t think it’s stalking.” (Beth, 09:45)
• “If it does work out and Bert’s destiny does prevail, then this is a story you don’t tell him for a long time… like, 25th anniversary.” (Beth, 09:51)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On initial discovery:

  “I mean, it’s just like, everything that I like doing, he’s like, he’s doing. …Someone basically just handed me this thing and said, here is information about this guy.”
  —Beth Caller, 03:59

• On ethical boundaries:

  "If you think you’re stalking, you probably are."
  —Beth, 02:24

• On destiny vs. engineering fate:

  “If he happens to be there when she’s there this weekend and they hit it off, isn’t that… Aren’t those signs of destiny?”
  —Burt, 06:18

• Listener advice:

  “Don’t Sherlock Holmes this stuff anymore. Just ask the friend of a friend of a friend.”
  —Lindsay, 07:44

• On plausible deniability:

  “And if Bert’s destiny does prevail, then this is a story you don’t tell him for a long time. Like, 25th anniversary.”
  —Beth, 09:51

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• [02:34] — Beth explains the phone, the photos, and the birth of her digital crush
• [05:37] — Debating going to his hangout: “Is that stalking?”
• [06:05] — Burt discusses “destiny”
• [06:48] — Relationship status speculation
• [07:44] — Lindsay calls in with advice: stop the sleuthing and just ask
• [09:45] — Hosts agree: showing up isn’t necessarily stalking—just don’t reveal the backstory too soon
• [10:08] — Beth’s “homework”: to attempt a chance encounter and report back

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Tone & Takeaways

The hosts keep things light, playful, and a little bit snarky, blending genuine curiosity with healthy skepticism. While everyone acknowledges the “fine line” between romance and overreach in the age of digital breadcrumbs, most ultimately lean towards “manufacturing destiny” as mostly harmless—so long as boundaries and privacy are respected.

Key Takeaway:
The internet has made it easy to gather info, but intent—and how you act on it—matters. A chance meeting is cute; lurking with insider knowledge and not owning up to it… maybe not so much. And if it results in a love story, maybe wait until the 25th anniversary to reveal all.

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Transcript

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[Burt]

Visit borhearst.com you're on the Burt show and here is Beth, who thinks that she has met her dream guy. And you know, there is a fine line about getting aggressive about, you know, meeting that dude because guys like a woman with confidence. And then that fine line of stalking Also, she thinks she's kind of tiptoeing on that line a little bit. Hey, Beth.

[Beth]

Good morning.

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Good morning.

[Burt]

How are you?

[Beth Caller]

Okay. How are you?

[Beth]

I'm fascinated. Because if you think you're stalking, you probably are.

[Burt]

Save that. So what's going on? Who is this guy?

[Beth Caller]

So I haven't actually met. Met this guy yet. So I had a cell phone that was not good and it broke. And I was talking to. I was at a party and I was talking to, telling her about my stupid cell phone, and she was like, oh, a friend of mine has a friend who's selling a cell phone. Blah, blah, blah. So basically, like, I. It was too, like, early in my cell phone contract to buy to get the upgrade and blah, blah, blah. So I was like, great, I'll buy this phone from the friend of a friend of a friend. And so, like, we emailed and we arranged a place to meet. Like, we both go to the same school. And so I bought this phone from her. And, like, I was just planning to go switch the SIM card and, like, done have a new phone. You know, I, like, turn the phone on, and there's like, 60 or 70 pictures that this person didn't erase from the phone. And I was like, that's weird. So I was just looking because I was curious, like, it's my phone now. And I was, like, flipping through all the pictures, and there is this, like, unbelievably gorgeous guy in a ton of the pictures. This is, like, potentially the most handsome man that I have ever seen in my whole life. Okay, seriously. It's basically like, I get to see this guy in all phases of his life. Like, there's some that he's, like, dressed up to go out. There are some where he's playing sports. I mean, it's just like, everything that I like doing, he's like, he's doing. And I could tell where he was because, like, he was in a lot of local places. And I like looking, and I'm like, oh, my gosh. I can see where I figured out where he works. I can see where he likes to hang out, because a bunch of pictures of him at this one place, and he's wearing, like, different outfits. So obviously he goes there a lot. So I was like, oh, my goodness. Someone basically just handed me this thing and said, here is information about this guy. And, like, you can figure out a lot about his life by looking at these pictures.

[Burt]

Okay, now here's what I like about this, because it's not just about one hot guy. You Say that he's in a whole bunch of different scenarios and you've made a connection with, like, what he likes to do, you like to do. So there's more than just him being hot?

[Beth Caller]

Oh, yeah. I mean, it's like there's things that he likes to do that I was like, that's exactly what I like to do on the weekend. That's exactly the person I would love to hang out with. Like, he just seems really, really cool and. Which makes him even more hot.

[Beth]

You know, I think the funny thing is the fine line of stalker. Not stalker is the fact that you didn't take the pictures doesn't make you a stalker, but you get to enjoy the pictures and learn about him.

[Friend 1]

How are you connected to the girl? Was it a. You got the cell phone from friend

[Beth Caller]

of a friend of a friend.

[Burt]

Couldn't you just follow that trail, though? Even though you're not directly in touch with that guy, couldn't you follow this sort of windy trail to get to the guy?

[Beth Caller]

Well, I actually kind of thought, like, you know, that specific one place that I was like, wow, he hangs out there a lot. Like, he's in at least five different outfits at that place. I was like, why don't I just go there this weekend, happen to meet him? I mean, it's. The chances that he would be there are great. You know, we can make it as if it's sort of like a chance encounter. And is that stalking, or is that just me sort of creating my own destiny?

[Burt]

Let me go ahead and wax philosophical here, and let's talk about destiny.

[Beth]

Oh, gosh.

[Friend 2]

You know, we need to get you some destiny.

[Friend 1]

Here we go.

[Burt]

All right, so here you go. I gotta talk to you, though. She needs a phone. At a certain amount, a certain time.

[Beth Caller]

Oh, no.

[Burt]

Through a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend, she ends up with this phone with this guy's picture on it, right? In all these different scenarios, she's making a connection with the guy. If she shows up to where she thinks he's going to be this weekend and he happens. I mean, there's a million things to do in this city. If he happens to be there when she's there this weekend and they hit it off, isn't that. Aren't those signs of destiny?

[Friend 1]

Don't you think he's going to be there with his girlfriend? The girl's phone who had, like, all the millions of pictures of her boyfriend on it?

[Burt]

Are there pictures of him with other women? Because I don't think she's Ever said that?

[Friend 1]

No, but I'm saying, who has a phone filled with pictures of themselves by themselves?

[Beth]

Somebody took those pictures.

[Beth Caller]

Kind of like your psychic. Because basically I am, like, questioning whether or not the girl who. Like the friend of a friend of friend, Girl that I bought the phone from is his girlfriend. Because there are some pictures that they're in together. So that's sort of like the one twist. But it's not like she's a friend, you know, not like she's someone I really know. You know, like we go to the same school and that's about it.

[Friend 1]

Nobody has that many pictures of the same person on their phone unless they're in a relationship with them.

[Burt]

That makes sense.

[Friend 1]

Or unless the girl who used to own the phone is a stalker.

[Friend 2]

I take a lot of mirror shots, just so you know. Mirror shots. I do.

[Friend 1]

Well, that's you.

[Beth Caller]

You're.

[Friend 1]

You're in a special class by yourself.

[Burt]

Indeed you are a little only child over there. Hey, Lindsay. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Lindsay]

Hi. Okay, listen, sweetie. Don't Sherlock Holmes this stuff anymore. Just ask the friend of a friend of a friend. I mean, kudos to you to, you know, for wanting to make your own destiny. But dang, dang ask.

[Burt]

You say it's not nearly as complicated as she's making it.

[Lindsay]

No, it's not. I mean, honestly, come on. If you know these people well enough, just ask them. Girls shoot an angle.

[Beth]

Hurt, too, I'm telling you, because I

[Beth Caller]

don't know her that well.

[Beth]

Well, I love the Sherlock Holmes reference, but she's. She has already gone on that phone, and some of those pictures, she has already imagined the fact that she took those pictures and not the other person. And she's probably giggled and already created a conversation, you know, between them.

[Friend 2]

This guy sells his next phone, they're gonna be like, look, there's a great looking guy in all these pictures and a weird girl behind him. Every picture.

[Beth Caller]

How many pictures?

[Friend 2]

He's staring.

[Friend 1]

How many pictures have his shirt off?

[Beth Caller]

Probably like 15 or so.

[Friend 2]

How many pictures are on the phone?

[Friend 1]

I don't know that he dates girls.

[Beth Caller]

Like 60 or 70. Like, a lot.

[Burt]

She. So she, the girlfriend, then, is potentially taking pictures of him playing sports without a shirt on. On his own phone. Why wouldn't she do that on her phone?

[Friend 1]

No one's saying that. She could be, you know, the old phone owner could be best friends with a gay guy is what I'm saying. If he's got a lot of pictures with his shirt off and he said he's really hot.

[Beth]

Sorry. Straight guys.

[Beth Caller]

Sorry.

[Friend 1]

But

[Hers Advertiser]

I mean, it's not.

[Beth]

Yeah.

[Friend 2]

See, here's the facts that Jen knows. Straight guys are not attractive, especially with their shirts on.

[Friend 1]

They're not just gay guys with their shirts off.

[Hers Advertiser]

I'm serious.

[Burt]

So you got one of two ways to pursue this. Either you follow the chain of emails back to him and get more details as you go along, or you go to, like, the bars that he's hanging out with on Friday and Saturday nights and see if you meet him spontaneously, quote, unquote, and find out that way.

[Beth Caller]

But if I. And if I go, then it's not. It wouldn't be like stalking. It would just sort of be, well,

[Beth]

if you go, then you create the situation, meeting him, and, you know, I

[Burt]

don't think it's stalking.

[Beth Caller]

Take investigative work, you know, and if

[Beth]

it does work out and Bert's destiny does prevail, then this is a story you don't tell him for a long time. Like, yeah, 25th anniversary.

[Beth Caller]

And it's like a funny thing we laugh about later.

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[Burt]

Yeah, like you don't tell him until your 20th wedding anniversary.

[Beth Caller]

Exactly. Way later. Way later. Okay. All right.

[Burt]

So your homework assignment is to go to the place that he hangs out at on the weekends and then go.

[Beth Caller]

Okay.

[Burt]

All right, Beth, when you get a little further along in the process, give us a call back. I'd love to know what's up.

[Beth Caller]

Okay, cool.

[Burt]

All right, Bye. Bye. You're on the Birch show.

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