Vault: Have You Ever Had To Discipline Someone Else's Kid?

Summary

The Bert Show — “Vault: Have You Ever Had To Discipline Someone Else's Kid?”

Episode Date: January 7, 2026
Podcast by: Pionaire Podcasting
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & callers

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the boundaries, dilemmas, and emotions involved when adults have to discipline children that aren’t their own. Sparked by a “Desperate Housewives” episode in which a character spanks a friend’s child, the Bert Show crew—joined by callers—explore real-life experiences and opinions on disciplining other people's kids, the cultural evolution of discipline, authority lines, and the fine line between acceptable consequences and overstepping. The tone is light but honest, with humorous detours and frank confessions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. TV Sparks Real Life Reflection (01:22 – 01:46)

• Reference Point: The conversation is grounded in a “Desperate Housewives” plot where Bree, while babysitting, spanks Lynette’s child. This ignites debate about when (or if) it’s ever appropriate for others to discipline your child—especially physically.
• Quote – Main Host:
  “Who, outside of your family… also has spanked you? I think that's pretty commonplace.” (01:46)

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2. Personal Stories from Callers

Beth’s Memory of Being Disciplined by a Family Friend (01:55 – 02:52)

• Beth (Caller 1): At 4 years old, spanked by a family friend over a mall incident her own mom wouldn’t have punished—her mom was furious that someone else did it.
  • “She just tore my butt up… my mom was horribly pissed… it wasn’t her place.” (01:58)
• Insight: Emotional memory and perceived injustice linger into adulthood.

Babysitter’s Dilemma: To Spank or Not To Spank (03:25 – 04:35)

• Caller: As a babysitter, dealt with a child’s rage. Nearly refrains but ultimately gives a quick spank, followed by a direct conversation about respect.
  • “You spanked me?” “I will spank you again.” “You can’t spank me.” “Yes, I can.” (03:39)
• Parents’ Reaction: When told, parents expressed approval despite not believing in spanking.
  • “They said, ‘Good, because he needed that.’ ...I said, ‘Why didn’t you do it?’ ‘Because we don’t believe in spanking.’” (04:31)

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3. Generational and Parenting Style Divide

Fear vs Negotiation (04:51 – 06:09)

• Co-Host 1: Shares about a “fierce non-spanker” friend, predicting a ruined friendship if the child's discipline is physical.
  • “She would be that furious with me… she’s a very fierce non-spanker…” (05:00)
• Different Upbringings: One thinks fear of spanking keeps kids “in line”; others saw spanking as overused or harmful.
  • “All you had to do was get one spanking and that was about it for me.” (05:18)
• Personal Limits: Discussion of boundaries and breaking cycles of aggressive parenting.

Absurdity & Satire of Discipline Methods (06:22 – 06:49; 11:10 – 12:13)

• The hosts joke about extreme forms of discipline to lampoon inconsistency or ineffectiveness of some methods.
  • “I didn’t spank but I burned him a little…” (06:34, Co-Host 3—joking)
  • “We’re gonna do time out, but in the closed garage with the car running…” (11:10, Co-Host 3—satirical)

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4. Babysitter Authority and Parental Delegation (06:54 – 08:37)

• Ashley (Caller 2): Babysat a child with ADD; instructed by parents to use a paddle for misbehavior.
  • “His mom gave me a paddle and told me that if he acted up, he was to get four hits with it…” (06:58)
• Host’s Reaction: Skeptical about giving a teenager that authority.
  • “I don’t know that I would put that kind of responsibility or authority in a 15 year old’s hands if it was my kid.” (07:58)
• Key Point: Whose rules matter in someone else’s house? Is discipline about safety, rules, or power?

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5. Parental Boundaries & Social Expectations (08:37 – 09:56)

• Caller (Carmelo): Describes frequent beatings growing up as “just how it was”—the root was often fear, not violence itself.
  • “I got beat so many times… I think it is… more the fear than anything else…” (09:09)
• Main Host: Some parents feel that resorting to spanking means they’ve “failed”—that they should have found another, non-physical method.
  • “Once it gets to that point, you have failed…” (09:56)

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6. Negotiation, Authority, and Discipline Effectiveness (09:57 – 10:58)

• Co-Host 2: Argues against negotiating with young children, advocating for clear boundaries and the judicious use of spanking.
  • “You don’t negotiate with a three year old… Spanking is a part of it… No, I don’t think you should abuse your child.” (10:06)
• Co-Host 1 (echoing): “Timeout’s just too fluid for them to understand it…they can weasel their way out of it and never really pay consequences.” (10:46)

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7. Humor and Satire—Pushing Boundaries of the Discussion (11:10 – 12:22)

• Running Jokes: Fake discipline methods (carbon monoxide in “timeout,” hot sauce on chips, fake injuries) as hyperbole to highlight confusion about best practices.
  • “We’re gonna teach the kid about carbon monoxide poisoning…” (11:14, Co-Host 3)
  • “Just leave the house for a week…” (12:13, Main Host)
• Group Dynamic: Laughter, mock horror, and camaraderie underlie real disagreement.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “She just tore my butt up… my mom was horribly pissed… it wasn’t her place.”
  —Beth (Caller 1), childhood memory (01:58)

• “I spanked your son… They said, ‘Good, because he needed that.’”
  —Babysitter caller, on parental reaction (04:31)

• “I branded him. I hope you don’t mind.” (joking)
  —Co-Host 2 satirizing discipline extremity (06:31)

• “I don’t know that I would put that kind of responsibility or authority in a 15 year old’s hands if it was my kid.”
  —Main Host, on delegating physical discipline (07:58)

• “It’s more the fear than anything else… Just the thought of it scares the hell out of me even today.”
  —Main Host, on discipline’s psychological power (09:09)

• “You don’t negotiate with a three-year-old. You teach the three-year-old right from wrong.”
  —Co-Host 2, on boundaries and negotiation (10:06)

• “Timeout’s just too fluid for them to understand it… they can weasel their way out of it.”
  —Co-Host 1, skepticism on non-physical discipline (10:46)

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Key Timestamps for Segment Navigation

• 01:22: Introduction to episode theme via “Desperate Housewives” plot.
• 01:55 – 02:52: Beth recalls memorable childhood spanking by non-family.
• 03:25 – 04:35: Babysitter caller navigates whether to spank someone else’s child.
• 05:00 – 06:09: Debate over “non-spanking” ideologies among friends.
• 06:54 – 08:37: Babysitter recounts being instructed to physically discipline at 15.
• 09:09: Caller recounts 1970s Brooklyn upbringing—focus on discipline by fear.
• 09:56 – 10:58: Reflection on whether spanking signals parental failure, negotiation vs. boundaries.
• 11:10 – 12:22: Satirical take on extreme discipline options.

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Tone and Takeaways

• The episode deftly balances frankness, humor, and seriousness in discussing parental boundaries.
• Core tension: Is discipline the right of anyone entrusted with a child, or only the parent? Physical vs. non-physical methods.
• Humor and satire are used to defuse the controversy, but underline genuine generational and philosophical divides.
• The cast is real, open, and sometimes cheeky, inviting listeners to reflect on (and laugh at) their own experiences and judgments.

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Transcript

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[Bert]

The Bird show did you miss Desperate Housewives last night? Tell them what they missed here.

[Jessica]

Well, there was a situation where Lynette had to drop off her kids to Bree's house. Bri did the babysitting, her kids misbehaved as they always do on that show, and Bree gave one of the sons, Porter, a spanking. Well, Lynette doesn't believe in spankings and once she found out about it later, was furious that her friend had spanked her child.

[Bert]

Who, outside of your family, and let's take teachers out of this, also has spanked you. I think that's pretty commonplace.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Good morning. Is it Beth?

[Beth]

Yes, it's Beth.

[Bert]

Hello. You're on all the hits. Q100. Hi.

[Beth]

Hey. Yeah, I was spanked. I was probably about 4 years old by a good friend of the family. Our moms were really close. I was friends with the daughter, and I had done something that wasn't really worth being spanked normally by my Mom. And we were at a mall in Memphis when I was living there, and she just tore my butt up. I remember just being spanked, and my mom was horribly pissed. I mean, she thought that it wasn't even like she shouldn't have done it to begin with. And she just. It kind of made her really mad because it wasn't her place to do it.

[Millie Pete]

It's so funny how you say, well, first of all, I'm amazed that you remember that at 4. And then also that it just shows you how kids will push the limit as far as they can because you just said that she punished you for something that your mom would have let you get away with not, you know, she wouldn't have spanked you for what you did. And so it's funny how you pushed until you knew the limit.

[Beth]

Well, actually, it was her daughter that me on too. So it was kind of like I got in trouble. And her daughter was always the perfect angel. When we went out together, we were.

[Millie Pete]

Still bitter thinking about it all these years, I think.

[Bert]

You know, I think you would find, like, in most cases, because I think Lynette was relieved when the kids got spanked, even though it was by somebody else. I think she was kind of relieved by it. Like, in the end, I think she was thankful about the whole thing.

[Jessica]

Well, she ended up using it to her advantage later on in the episode.

[Jeff]

What did she say? I'll take you over to Bree's house.

[Jessica]

Uh huh.

[Jeff]

That's funny. Good morning, Susan.

[Bert]

You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Beth]

Good morning.

[Bert]

Hi.

[Beth]

Hi. How are you?

[Bert]

Good, thank you.

[Millie Pete]

When were you spanked?

[Beth]

Oh, I did. I have never been spanked myself. I have spanked.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Millie Pete]

Okay.

[Beth]

I used to babysit three children, and one of them and their parents did not spank, but one of them one evening just flew into a rage, and he rushed up the steps and he had his fist back, and I picked him up by the wrist and I thought, oh, my God, I'm gonna spank him. And then I thought, no, I'm not. And then I thought, yes, I am. And I wrapped him on his rear end and I sat him down and he said, you spanked me? And I said, I will spank you again. And he said, you can't spank me. And I said, yes, I can. And then I said, well, you're. I don't speak to you that way, and you're not going to speak to me that way, and I'm just not going to have it. And there. And everyone very quiet. And he said, I'm very sorry. And then he said, I'm going to tell my mommy. And I said, I hope you do. And they got home and I said, I spanked your son. And they said, good, because he needed that. And I said, well, why didn't you do it? And they said, well, because we don't believe in spanking.

[Jessica]

Yes.

[Bert]

The exact same storyline we saw last night.

[Millie Pete]

And the thought I had when she was talking about the kids saying, you can't spank me again. Kids are smart and they know the limits. And if that's a timeout kid, then they're used to negotiating the time and this stuff. And so like, yeah, timeout kid.

[Jeff]

Now it's a whole generation.

[Millie Pete]

Well, it is, yeah. I have issues with timeout. I gotta be honest with you.

[Jeff]

When you go to timeout and think about your issues.

[Millie Pete]

Exactly. No, you're gonna get spanked.

[Jessica]

I have a friend who is a fierce non spanker, and I think that it would ruin our friendship if I ever spanked her child. Like, I watch her child, you know, here and there when she's, you know, and she's three. So she's at that stage where she is pushing your buttons and pushing your boundaries and she's never had a freakout on me. But I know you that my friend is such a fierce non spanker that if I did it, we would never speak again. She would be that furious with me. And when I watched the episode last night, I didn't think it was that big of a deal because I came from a household where it was normally just the fear of getting spanked. All you had to do was get one spanking. And that was about it for me. But my friend and I have had this conversation. She said in her house she got spanked a lot more than one time. And it wasn't just the fear of being spanked. There was lots of spankings. And that she felt like it was out of control and she doesn't want to become that. She's like, I know I have that in me because it was the way that I was raised. I know that I could become that mother. And she's like, I don't want to make those same mistakes that my mother did. So she's a very fierce non spanker, whereas I am somewhere in the middle. I'm like, I don't think you got to spank for everything. But I think if you have it, it's an authority line there. I mean, I think kids that have the fear of being spanked are in line a lot more than the. Than the ones that aren't.

[Bert]

I've seen very few, like very few families where they are totally like, nuts about not spanking. Where the kids are really in control and intel. I know. I hate to say that, but it was true.

[Jeff]

You should. Next time you babysit that kid, you should say, just want to let you know that he misbehaved. So I didn't spank him because I know you're upset about that, but I burned him a little.

[Jessica]

You think that'd be better?

[Millie Pete]

I branded him. I hope you don't mind.

[Jeff]

I burned him somewhere, but the scar won't be visible unless he's wearing short sleeves. But don't.

[Bert]

So I just don't be alarmed. But we didn't spank. But I didn't spank.

[Jeff]

And just so you know, after. After he cried for a half hour, I put ice on it, so it probably will heal up in a few.

[Bert]

Cool. Jeff, can you never babysit for me?

[Jeff]

Yeah, no problem. You don't have to ask me that question twice.

[Bert]

Hey, Ashley, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[Ashley]

Hey, Bert.

[Bert]

Hi.

[Ashley]

Hi. I spanked a child that I was babysitting for when I was about 15. He had ADD and his mom gave me a paddle and told me that if he acted up, he was to get four hits with it because that was the only way they could make him behave.

[Millie Pete]

Wow.

[Ashley]

And so they said if they spanked him enough, he would understand what right and wrong was. And if I didn't do it when I was babysitting, then he would get confused.

[Millie Pete]

I'm curious. What did he do to force you to paddle him at 15?

[Ashley]

The only thing that he ever did when I was babysitting was he was outside. And he was allowed to play outside by himself, but he used to stay in the front yard. He ran off to the neighbor's house and was hiding in the woods and I couldn't find him. And he was supposed to be on the porch and I could see him from where I was at and he ran across the street and when I went to go get him, he was hiding in a ditch in the woods. And it took me about a half an hour to find him. And that was the only time I had spanked him in about three years.

[Bert]

And you were 15 at the time?

[Ashley]

Uh huh.

[Bert]

See that? I don't know that I would put that kind of responsibility or authority in a 15 year old's hands if it was my kid.

[Jeff]

Plus, if you're thinking if you're thinking, enough. And he was really bad. You're only supposed to hit him four times, and he's an ADD kid. You could hit him, like, twice, and then, you know, show him something colorful and then hit him, like, three more times. Then, like, ask him to sing a song with you, then whack him four more times and he'll come home.

[Jessica]

Well, I think you. I think you brought this up like a bird. The issue was not necessarily the spanking part, but it was the fact that these kids last night in the episode were at Bree's house.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

So it was like, you know, they had to follow another set of rules rather than their own rules at home.

[Bert]

Yeah. That's the bigger question, is if somebody else is watching your kids, whose set of rules are they under at that point? Yours? Theirs. That's a real fine line to walk there, you know. Good morning, Carmelo. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Beth]

Hey, guys. Man, you guys have an awesome show. You guys have just defined growing up as a kid in the early 70s in Brooklyn. I got beat so many times. My parents one time headed home after, like, a bully fight. I just went home, threw myself across the bed, handed my father.

[Bert]

Take this. I think it is. I think it's more the fear than anything else because I can only remember my dad, like, spanking me maybe three times. But just the thought of it just scares the hell out of me, even today, you know?

[Millie Pete]

Yeah. My dad only had to spank me one time, ever. And Millie Pete, maybe twice. And that's it. I mean, I was. Yeah. And I never had to get spanked at school because I didn't want that. I didn't want that punishment. To me, that was proof that I. I didn't do right, and I really wanted to do right.

[Bert]

I know I've talked to a lot of parents that feel like if they spank their kids, if they get to the point where they spank their kids, that they've failed as parents, that they feel like there should be another way to be able to teach your child right and wrong before you have to do anything physical. And once it gets to that point, you have failed at that point.

[Health & Wellness Host]

I just.

[Millie Pete]

I just feel, though, that you can't. I don't. And this is my personal feeling, and no, I don't have kids. For anybody that calls up and says.

[Jessica]

What do you mean?

[Jeff]

You got no right to comment on this. You ain't got no kids.

[Millie Pete]

No. My opinion is legitimate, child or no child, I think that it bothers Me to see certain parents negotiate with their child. You don't negotiate with a three year old. You teach the three year old right from wrong and spanking is a part of it. No, I don't think you should abuse your child. But I mean, I just. When parents don't want to be stern with their children, I just. I don't know. What are you trying to prove to be that you're not mean, that you want to be friends with your child. You know, your child's gonna have plenty of friends. You got plenty of friends, your child, and you don't need to be friends until you're both adults.

[Jessica]

And it kind of like reinforces that whole thing about kids needing boundaries and structure and all that kind of stuff too. I mean, I think timeout's just too.

[Security Expert]

Fluid for them to understand it.

[Jessica]

You know what I mean? I mean, I think that they understand it to a point, but I just, like you said, I think they can negotiate their way out of it and weasel their way out of it and never really pay consequences for bad behavior.

[Bert]

You know, I've never seen one of these negotiations last any, any longer than 10 seconds where they actually had the kid's attention. Like, I see the parent get down there eye to eye, and the negotiation starts and the kid is all over the place after five seconds.

[Jessica]

Sure.

[Jeff]

I think Jessica and I have just. Well, I've decided we haven't talked it over Jessica, but I think she'll be cool with this. We're gonna do time out, but we're gonna do it in the closed garage with the car running. And we're gonna teach the kid about carbon monoxide poisoning.

[Jessica]

So pass out. Once they pass out, you'll bring them back in, right?

[Jeff]

Well, no, maybe they might not get that. Like, you know, hey, listen, if you do time out again, you're going in the garage and we're starting both cars.

[Bert]

I think you're ready.

[Jeff]

And then they'll start. They'll start to do the math and realize they've only got, you know, like eight minutes before they're gone.

[Millie Pete]

And then they're gonna freak out every time the ignition starts on the car too.

[Jeff]

Right. And that'll keep them from asking for to borrow the car. Like, I really want to raise my kid. Like, I think the guy who did the Truman show was onto something. Like, create unnecessary fears in your children so that they don't bother. Like, I'm gonna teach them to make.

[Millie Pete]

It more convenient for you.

[Jeff]

Right, right. When they're young, you know, when they're young enough to know the word cookie and stuff. I'm gonna put like, you know, a razor or a thumbtack or something in one cookie. Then they'll never want cookies again.

[Jessica]

Sick.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

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[Jessica]

You're sick.

[Bert]

Just thoughts are sicken up.

[Jeff]

Hot sauce on potato chips. Like I'm gonna keep them out of junk food.

[Bert]

How about the timeout when you just leave the house for a week? You send them to their room. You just split.

[Jeff]

That's good.

[Security Expert]

Vacation.

[Jeff]

See, now that that is good.

[Bert]

Well, I the thought has never crossed my mind, that's for sure. The Bird show.

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